The last 16 months have led to some serious emotional, psychological, and physical COVID burnout. The opportunity to hug loved ones, attend graduation, or even give birth with a partner in the room was swapped with having to balance work, family, and everything else life threw at us. Everything has felt totally out of our control, and more than once, a lot of us have struggled to make it through the day. A study from Frontiers defines collective trauma as "a cataclysmic event that shatters the basic fabric of society." We know how hard it's been to process everything that's happened in the last year and a half. That's why we spoke with trauma expert and psychologistDr. Karol Darsa about how to address burnout, and heard from three women who have experienced it over the past year.
Stress vs. Trauma
According to a study from NCCI, less than 6 percent of Americans worked from home in 2019, but that number rose to around 35 percent by the time May 2020 rolled around. And while working from home was a fun concept pre-COVID, we now realize that it's more than just hanging out in your pajamas. Those who've shifted to working from home have had to make room for a somewhat-permanent workspace... and it's a lot harder to maintain a work-life balance when your laptop is sitting three feet away at all times. Meanwhile, people who haven't been able to work from home have had to deal with the stress of worrying about COVID, the difficulty of providing care for family members while still going into work, and the constant tension of navigating crowds.
Even though we've all dealt with stress throughout our lives, there's a difference between stress and this kind of emotional burnout.
"What tends to make this different from 'normal' stress is the intensity of the experience, the length of time it lasts, and the time it takes for the person to settle down," Dr. Darsa says.
Trauma is also different than stress because it can be harder for someone to talk about what they've been through.
"Traumatic experiences are always stressful, but stressors are not always traumatic," she says. "In contrast to trauma, people who experience stress maintain a feeling of control over their lives to some degree." According to Dr. Darsa, prolonged stress can turn into trauma when the person becomes unable to cope.
Adjusting To The "New Normal"
"Burnout has caused me to question every aspect of my life," college junior Malia McKay says. "I've second guessed my relationships, my future, and my passions. This mainly stems from the prolonged period of time I've had to self-reflect, which can be both helpful and harmful."
While adjusting to COVID during school, McKay also had another adjustment to make: She lives with hearing loss, but because of the mask mandate, she could no longer read lips. The first time McKay wore a mask to the store, she didn't realize her mom had been talking to her.
"I think simultaneously, we both realized that although the entire world was being negatively impacted, I now had a new obstacle to overcome. I felt defeated," she says. "I've gotten along with my hearing loss rather well, but losing the ability to read lips is equivalent to losing a sense to me."
Publicist Megan Brodsky's burnout also began early in the pandemic.
"I remember one day just feeling so bogged down by what I needed to get done — not because it was difficult or a lot to do, but because I just lost interest," she says. "I've struggled to complete easy tasks that I know won't take long, but starting them feels impossible." she says.
Burnout started for Junior Graphic Designer Katelyn Nieto when she began onboarding at her first job post-grad, which was also the first day her city shut down for COVID.
"Most days, I was hardly given space by them to make dinner at night, nonetheless keep up with anything else," she says.
She experienced breakdowns and became sick for long periods of time because of the stress, and then had to turn around and plan her wedding on top of that.
Why COVID Is Different
Image via Luis Galvez/Unsplash
After awhile, it was clear that COVID would stick around longer than anyone had hoped, and the burnout stayed with it.
"Waking up to see my laptop and work right in front of me started to take a toll," Brodsky says. "The days seemed to feel longer and the tasks that I typically enjoyed just didn't fulfill me as much. My burnout has continued to last until today, coming and going in waves."
Nieto didn't even realize she was experiencing burnout until she had to pull an all-nighter at work.
"After that, my body literally collapsed on a few different occasions. I decided it would be better to be jobless in a pandemic than to put my body through something like that again."
While we have lived through other large-scale traumatic events, COVID is on a different level because it's prevented us from being with others.
"When a collective trauma like 9/11 happened in New York, people got together and emotionally supported one another," Dr. Darsa says. But COVID is different. "For the first time we are not able to come together physically to support one another. Human beings need to gather and heal through relationships."
McKay has felt that isolation, even when surrounded by other people, when she lets others know about her hearing loss.
"This usually prompts them to say something along the lines of, 'I've noticed masks have affected my hearing as well!' While I know they're making an effort to relate to me, it almost feels like a punch in the gut," she says. "It minimizes the struggle I go through every moment of the day. But, it can also be helpful to remember I'm not alone."
What Now?
There are some signs that may indicate you're developing burnout, starting with your mood.
"Watch for signs of depression (sadness, crying, isolation, not sleeping or too much sleeping) or constant anxiety or irritability," Dr. Darsa says. "Overall a lack of desire or joy could be a sign that the person has burnt out now. They feel different and unable to enjoy things they used to."
So if you're feeling the effects of that trauma, what should you do about it? Brodsky has implemented some steps in her life to help with her burnout, including seeing a therapist.
"Just having a professional to speak with on what I'm feeling and how to cope has been so helpful," she says.
She's also been focusing on her physical health by working out in order to boost her mood.
"I'm able to recharge my mind and body after a long day of work, and have a time/space that's solely dedicated to bettering myself mentally, emotionally and physically," says Brodsky.
As for McKay, she has found that sharing her experiences with others has helped her feel more connected.
"I've had to adapt to my situation, and I've found that informing people of my hearing loss has helped a lot," she says. "I've also found community in social media, as many hard of hearing people share the effect the pandemic has had on us."
Nieto has slowly been adjusting to her work life balance with her new job, and has been given the chance to take on more leadership. "Surprisingly, the work has come more naturally than I thought. In a way, it has been part of the healing process," she says.
Healing
Now more than ever, we're learning that taking care of yourself has to be a consistent thing, even while figuring out what the new work-life balance looks like.
"This need to take care of ourselves while doing other things doesn't belong to the pandemic period only. This has to be our ongoing state. No matter what happens outside, we have an obligation to take care of ourselves," Dr. Darsa says.
"I try to actually let myself take breaks during the day — whether {that means taking} a quick walk when I'm not able to fully focus or taking a solid lunch break away from my work," Brodsky says. "That time has proven really valuable because I haven't always been someone who takes those breaks."
"All in all, it's been the little small things that have helped me to feel 'me' again," Nieto says. Walks, writing poetry, and a reminder at 3:00 p.m. that it's time for tea have all become a part of her daily routine. She also began counseling.
"I've learned to adjust my thoughts and take a kinder approach with myself, and others," she says. "And I'm still learning to hold both the joys and the sorrows of this past year as notes woven into the fabric of the same song."
If your mental health is struggling because of COVID burnout, consider texting the Crisis Text Line or using Psychology Today to find a therapist near you.
Image via Emma Simpson/Unsplash
