At the beginning of 2024, I wanted nothing more than to have a Hot Girl Summer. My first book, IntuWitchin, all about reading the signs and language of the Universe, had just come out. I had features on international media outlets, and I’d worked my butt off for these big dreams to come true. I was ready to celebrate—but right alongside these highlights, came a few personal nightmares.
I don’t have kids, but I have two cats who both disappeared within six months of each other. My partner stoically compartmentalized the loss while I fell apart, which woke me from a slumber too many of us fall into. The one in which we make excuses for staying in relationships where we sacrifice and abandon the most precious parts of ourselves in order to avoid rejection. After almost five years, I had to walk away from my best friend.
A silver lining emerged through an old mantra: “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.” I turned the Solstice’s Full Moon glow like a spotlight towards myself to illuminate the shadows that had been lurking beyond the breadth of my awareness.
It was time for Healing Girl Summer!
My Healing Girl Summer
This season was dedicated to all the things that would actually make me look younger, feel healthier, and get hotter than ever—without any fillers (literally or figuratively)!
A simple shift of intention in how I spent my time, energy, and money could transform every aspect of my life—love, abundance, sex, and purpose!
When people mention healing, it’s daunting because we often don't know what it really means or looks like. Diving headfirst into it can be a really scary place.
That's why it's so important to have a support system around you, and tools and practices to help you come back to yourself during these times. With the right support and resources, you can navigate the healing process more effectively and find your way back to a place of balance and strength.
The first step in Healing Girl Summer was deep inquiry around the patterns that caused my wounds in the first place. Which means taking full responsibility.
As Dr. Gabor Maté writes about trauma, much of what we think is our personality is actually coping mechanisms and defense strategies we learned as kids to survive.
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We’ve all heard, “You create your reality.” Well if that’s true, you create the dreams just like the nightmares. Taking radical responsibility for every aspect of your life reclaims the reins, returning power to the only person who can do something about it—you.
This means asking hard questions, and having tough conversations with yourself that guide your healing path.
I finally recognized I had been replaying the same major complaint from my dynamic with my father in my romantic relationship.
My mother role modeled overstaying in a situation that was unhealthy and disrespectful of her, then I did the same. Secretly afraid I’d never find anything more than someone who “tolerated” me and shamed my power.
My metamorphosis over the next few months became the great work of my life, and the roadmap for Healing Girl Summer. No matter how my heart aches, I never back away from healing. Which, though it requires massive courage and resolve, has been the greatest blessing I could imagine.
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Part of my work involves leading transformative healing retreats at castles. This year, we're in a fairytale French palace, so naturally, I watched Cinderella to get in the mood. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten her iconic song. “No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, a dream that you wish will come true.”
I’ve made so many dreams come true, I wasn’t going to let a few nightmares stop me.
I committed to weekly sessions of therapy to unwind mental patterns, structural bodywork to alleviate the pain and trauma stored in my body, and many other rituals with specific intentions of release, pleasure, or manifestation. If you find yourself in a healing girl season, here are my daily and scientifically proven practices that are all FREE:
Be in nature
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There is nothing more healing for our nervous system than being in Nature. This is a crucial element for all human beings. We literally ARE Nature. Our body is the earth, bones like the stones in the mountains. Our blood is the rivers, creeks and streams of water in our veins. The breath in our lungs is the wind exchanged between us and the trees! And the same fire light that shines outside also radiates from within us, and keeps our hearts beating with its electric energy.
Our starvation from Nature and the knowing of our inherent interconnectedness contributes to so many mental and physical health challenges. She is my greatest teacher and friend, who I needed more than ever. I sat beneath big oak trees, by creek beds, or swam in the ocean and just let Her work Her magik on me.
Let your thoughts out by journaling
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Everything you can’t say, wish you had, or just don’t want to keep burdening your friends with is perfect fodder for the private pages of your journal. I also used specific prompts like, “Why is this actually for the best?”, “What things were always misaligned for us?”, “What parts of myself are ready to grow after this?”, and “What kind of relationship do I actually desire and require?”
Move your body and dance
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Studies have shown dance is THE greatest remedy to depression. Freestyle movement became a necessity for celebration and release each morning or moment of overwhelm. Put your phone down and get into your body in spontaneous motion. Works every time.
Breathe and meditate
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When the outside is chaotic, creating stillness on the inside can make all the difference. You don’t have to stop thinking, in fact you'll probably be spinning around all the conversations of the day and upcoming to-dos. But the intention of carving out quiet space and time for yourself to just be present and keep bringing yourself back to your breath and sensations sends important signals of safety to your body.
Add yoga or other low-impact workouts to your routine
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Genuine, sustainable dopamine, yes please! As a dedicated yogi and former gym rat, I alternated each day to regulate my nervous system, push myself when I felt unmotivated, and get a revenge body, obviously.
I peppered in every other healing modality, mindset technique, and biohacking tool I could get my hands on like past life regressions, yoni massage, acupuncture, breath work, sound baths, Sauna/cold plunge, cryotherapy, IV’s and ozone, you name it. Then I jetted off to Thailand for three weeks for back-to-back tantra retreats full of death and rebirth rituals, jungle waterfall immersion, daily massages and an iconic change of scenery.
Now, I’ve been doing this work for almost 15 years, so I’ve had a lot of experience with confronting my fears to get to where I am. But we’ve all had challenges, a dark night of the soul, as they say. So, in case you find yourself there, allow me to offer you the same opportunity, whatever you might be going through.
Here are five simple ways you can start doing healing work that will fundamentally transform you, body, mind and spirit.
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1. Connect with Your Inner Child: Imagine your five-year-old self is standing in front of you, what would they want you to remember that you’ve forgotten? Who or what did they want to become? How can you bring a little more of that energy into your daily life right now? Put a picture of them somewhere you’ll see often and remember who you’re doing all this for. Working with your inner child can involve meditation and visualization, embodiment, intentional dialogue, art therapy and so much more.
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2. Illuminate Your Shadows: Our “darkness” gets a bad wrap, but this is the realm of the feminine: the void and the birthplace from which life and all its possibilities is born. Treat it as such. Whatever external circumstance is to blame, how can I take the responsibility and shine my eternal light upon it? If you have excuses like, “That’s just the way I am,” look at how it may stem from a hardship in your childhood.
Take an inventory of what is and isn’t working in your life, and see what beliefs you have about the challenges. Who did you see model the kind of struggle you’re experiencing? Each time I saw another negative belief rise up I would immediately change my behavior or thoughts. You can do this by taking an unfamiliar or non-habituated action. Sing an affirmative song until your mind attaches to it and forgets the downward spiral you were heading towards, or whatever works for you.
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3. Abandon Your Comfort Zone: That place is dangerous, leads to complacency, and has more often than not been imposed upon you rather than established by you. The comfort zone never helped me achieve something greater than the status quo. Take the trip, go to the class, talk to that person at the bookstore. Change up your routine even if that means hanging out with different people because the ones you always see aren’t actually enhancing or helping you improve your life.
Doing things you’ve never done will get you results you’ve never thought possible. When all else fails, MOVE! I don’t mean across the country–unless that’s always been your dream. I just mean get up off the couch or out of bed! When you’re down in the doldrums, any type of movement helps shift stagnant energy, get a fresh perspective and brings you home to your center. Yoga, exercise, shaking, hitting a pillow, or just getting up for a walk.
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4. Try a new healing modality. Maybe you’ve had an astrology reading, are a dedicated daily yogi, or have sat with ayahuasca. Try something new, whatever calls to you, go for it. See what deeper layers you might have access to, and notice if you can navigate this search based on the primary emotion(s) you have the hardest time expressing.
If you feel shameful celebrating yourself and feeling peak joy, try ecstatic dance or female empowerment work. If you have repressed memories try a shamanic drum journey. I love somatic therapy, embodiment practices and going on transformative retreats. (I’m leading one in August at a fairytale French castle if that’s your kind of vibe).
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5. Believe in MAGIK & MIRACLES Perhaps the most important of them all, when we were little, magik was real. I have proven that we don’t have to lose it in adulthood. Even with all this heartache, my life still feels better than a Disney movie most days. Though this prince and I didn’t live happily ever after, we did have some peak life experiences together, because that’s the norm for my existence.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, it's because of my (sometimes bordering on delusional) faith in magik. I’m not talking about the rabbits out of hats kind of illusions. I’m talking about the infinite universal power that you and I all have access to at every moment. Manifestation is really just a more mainstream word for magik. If you expect the worst, that’s what you’ll continue to receive.
Caterpillars in cocoons liquify and become butterflies through their imaginal cells. Yes, that's really what they’re called. If you can trust the process even in the moments you’re being metaphorically liquified and imagine that your best days are yet to come, you will be reborn as the most magnificent butterfly. I know that’s where I’m headed, and I hope you’ll come with me.
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Your self-care journey doesn't have to end here! We have eight more amazing ways you can romanticize your summer!
Mia Magik is a guest contributor and intuitive advisor who teaches women to trust their inner guidance system, which everyone is capable of. USA Today called her a “spiritual fairy godmother” as she empowers individuals to reconnect with their infinite spiritual abilities as well as nature to help make their dreams come true.
