5 Real Ways to Help a Friend Who Is Depressed

Apr 27, 2016

People battling depression have many recovery tools at their disposal: Yoga helps boost mental health, and office rituals can help people deal with depression at work. But nothing is as effective as building emotional resilience through talk therapy or #PopUpTherapy, like Talkspace. However, it can be difficult for people to accept that they’re depressed and actually take action in order to feel better. That’s where good friends come in. Here are four ways to help a friend who’s battling depression through one of their toughest times.

Schedule one-on-one time.

Laura Heck, licensed marriage and family therapist, recommends a nice long walk, which should give both of you a temporary mood boost. Save your questions and concerns for this time.

2. Ask open-ended questions. During your alone time, be curious about what’s going on in your friend’s life, and show them that you’re interested by asking open-ended questions. Ask about things that they once did and no longer do, such as working out, going to church or hanging out with friends. “Many people don’t even notice that they have slowly stopped enjoying the things they once loved,” Heck said. “That may be a good indicator that something is going on.”

3. Gently show them your concern. Relationship expert and author Ty Tashiro believes that “if someone is depressed, they probably are self-aware about it.” While your friend might be self-conscious about their declining mental health, showing that you’re concerned for them will make them feel like less of a burden. “I would let my friend know that feeling down from time to time is normal, but that they just don’t seem like themselves,” Heck said. She also recommends following up on this concern by encouraging your friend to do something positive for him or herself.

4. Help remove barriers to help. Although having a network of friends is a great asset to someone who is depressed, Heck stresses the importance of seeking out professional help. As a friend, help do research or ask for referrals of therapists in your area. If you can, drive your friend to their first appointment. By encouraging and helping your friend get help, you are making it easier for them to focus on their own mental health, rather than the logistics of seeing a professional.

10 Tips For Fake Drinking When You’re Secretly Pregnant

When you're often the life of the party and happen to be partnered up and in your 30s, you'll instantly turn heads when you say no to booze. I can personally attest to the difficulty of this. As someone who loves happy hour and has a particular affinity for lemon drop shotsin totally inappropriate settings, there was no way I could get away with *not* drinking without inviting questioning looks.

Before I give you the guide to fake drinking when you're secretly pregnant, let me take this moment to make a PSA. If you see that a female friend of yours isn't drinking and she usually does, try not to ask her if she's expecting in front of everyone. She might be secretly pregnant, taking fertility drugs that can't be combined with alcohol, just trying to lower her dosage of alcohol with the hope that it helps her get pregnant. There's also the chance she might just be…not drinking. Be as it may, no one wants to be bombarded with pregnancy questions.

Of course, not everyone is going to take my PSA seriously, so I've got some tips and tricks for all you pre-reveal preggos. These same tips apply to gals who are not drinking because they are trying to conceive. I was personally in this non-drinking camp for about five months before getting pregnant.

And how's this for proof? I organized and attended a bachelorette party for two of my very best friends with about eight of my other besties present — and no one had ANY idea I was pregnant. So, trust me — I'm a bona fide pro at fake drinking.

Rosee Canfield for Brit + Co