Here’s Why You Want Your Ex So Badly When You Break Up

To state the obvious: Breakups and fights with a significant other really blow. Distress within a relationship and the ultimate fight, the breakup, can be extremely painful, confusing, and often leave you with a deepened sense of longing for your partner. Somehow, the turmoil makes us want to be as close to our partner (or ex) as possible. Now, researchers have found out why this happens.

According to a new study from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology and the University of New Mexico, the brain releases oxytocin (that’s the “love hormone” that makes people want to cuddle after sex, among other things) when someone perceives that their partner is less involved in the relationship than they are and during times of distress in the relationship. While oxytocin is mostly known as a hormone associated with love and bonding, the researchers argue that it’s also a “crisis hormone,” according to a study press release.

Researchers examined 75 couples and 148 individuals who are romantically involved and found that oxytocin increased both during times of bonding and in times of relationship instability. In fact, oxytocin release was even more consistent with moments of distress than in times of love and bonding.

Researchers discovered this by observing that partners who were more involved in the relationship released oxytocin when thinking about their significant other, whereas those who were less involved did not.

Study co-author Aarseth Kristoffersen says one reason why this could happen is “because people in a relationship where their partner is waffling need to engage more” in order to make the relationship work. Co-author Steven Gangestad says, “What’s implied here is a statement about what oxytocin is doing: It’s perhaps fostering attention to and motivation to ‘take care of’ the relationship.”

These findings suggest there’s a biological desire to make things work with our partners when they seem checked out, or when the relationship has ended. Whether or not it’s good or healthy to listen to the instinct to make things work and keep investing in the relationship is another issue altogether. The brain may say “stay!” but if the relationship is dysfunctional or unhappy, the tough work of acting in our best interests — but against what our body is telling us — begins.

It also stands to reason that this phenomenon contributes to the strong urge to reconcile and make things work during a breakup. If the less-involved person leaves the relationship altogether while their partner is releasing oxytocin because of the distance caused by the breakup, that second person is still driven to be close and pay attention to their partner. And that’s one of the major emotional pains of breaking up.

The study helps explain what’s going on when relationships are in distress, and also raises a lot of interesting questions about romantic partnerships. Is it possible to counteract oxytocin’s effect to make fights and breakups easier? Does oxytocin prompt people to stay in unhealthy relationships longer than they should? There’s still a lot more research to be done on the subject, but just knowing this phenomenon exists helps us better understand our behavior in relationships.

Do you think the “crisis hormone” has played a role in one of your relationships? Tell us about it on Twitter @BritandCo.

(Photos via Getty)

A lot of people pride themselves on being optimists, and TBH, if you canstay positivewith everything that’s going on in the world today, major props to you. For most people who consider themselves the glass-half-full type, it’s a lifestyle. They try to look at everything that comes their way, from relationship troubles to work mistakes, with a positive spin. But a recent study investigated whether optimists still stay more positive than pessimists when things get really tough, and what they found was pretty surprising.


Scientists analyzed nine previous studies to see how both optimists and pessimists brace themselves for receiving important and potentially negative news, like medical test results. They found that even though people who identify as optimists tend to be more positive in general, they too start assuming the worst as the moment of truth about something important nears. It’s easy to understand this instinct, since some people tend to believe that preparing yourself for the worst will ultimately make it less shocking if it happens. On the other hand, some people would rather stay positive whenever possible, since it’s easier to fight off stress and anxiety when you have a sunny outlook. Here, we’ve gathered some of our favorite expert tips for staying optimistic when you’re dealing with some super hard stuff.

How To Stay Positive

1.Learn to reframe negativity. “The trick to positivity is not avoiding pessimism,” says Elaine Taylor-Klaus, a certified professional coach. “It’s really about how quickly you can redirect your focus from negative to positive. Critical thinkers are going to see problems to be solved, but the ability to ‘reframe’ the conversation is the really important skill for people to practice.” She recommends getting into the habit of acknowledging negative thoughts and then asking, “What else is possible here?” This can guide you back into a positive mindset more quickly.

“Bottom line: Negativity happens,” she says. “Positivity is a choice, and the quicker you learn to reframe, the more time you’ll spend in a positive space. Then, over time, the more likely you are to turn directly to a positive interpretation of events.”

2. Ask yourself if this will matter a month or year from now. Sometimes things seem crucial AF in the moment, but might be inconsequential even just a few days after that. Just think about high school drama. “When we can leave the past behind and even know in the present moment that this feeling won’t last, it can help to remind us that time heals and life goes on,” explainsSharon Stokes, life-fulfillment coach.

3.Give back. Volunteering is an amazing way to change your entire perspective, saysLyssa Menard, a clinical health psychologist, founder of Strategies for Changeand assistant professor at Northwestern University’s medical school. “There are many organizations that don’t require an ongoing commitment, so sign up for an event that’s meaningful. Research shows that giving to others is one of the quickest routes toward happiness. While happiness and positivity are different, they’re correlated,” Lyssa says.

4. Role play to be more objective. Playing a little mind trick on yourself can work wonders, says Lori Scherwin of Strategize That, a career coaching service. “We’re often better at helping others than ourselves,” she notes. “Make the situation more objective and less personal to you. For example, consider if it were anyone else in the situation (like your best friend, partner or colleague). How would you see the same ‘problem?’ What advice might you give them to get out of it?” she asks. This will help you shift from being super hard on yourself to more objective, and most likely, more positive.

5. Make changes to things that are within your control. Spending time worrying about something that you can’t change isn’t really worth the effort. Instead, “Focus on areas where you have agency,” suggests Holly Burton, a career coach for women in male-dominated industries. “You may be stuck in a role you don’t love at work, but you could probably work a few extra hours a week and take on a project that interests you. You could also schedule some proactive meetings with your boss to make an action plan to develop the skills you need to make a lateral move,” she says. In most situations, whether they’re career-related or not, it’s possible to take actions to make things better for yourself.

6. Practice radical acceptance. Some professional coaches suggest trying out the idea of radical acceptance, which is basically accepting the things you cannot change, even if they’re not right or you don’t agree with them.

7.Try this gratitude challenge. First, journal about one event each day for seven days that made you feel happy and/or thankful and include the specifics of why it made you feel that way, going deep into the details. Second, send one random thank you email or text to someone each day, either personally or professionally. This message should include what they did and why it’s worthy of the shout out. Detailed gratitude journals are proven to improve your life satisfaction, so try to stick to a gratitude practice, even in the good times!

What do you do when you’re trying to stay optimistic? Have you tried any of these techniques? Tell us about it @BritandCo!

This article has been updated.

Drama lovers are living large thanks to The Summer I Turned Pretty, Sweet Magnolias, and now My Life With The Walter Boys season 2! The show (which is basically Friday Night Lights meets Dawson's Creek) spent some time at the number one spot on Netflix’s Global English Top 10 TV list (and joined the list in 88 other countries). Netflix renewed it for a sophomore season in December 2023, and the great news is that season 2 just finished filming!

Here's everything you need to know about My Life With the Walter Boys season 2 — and don't forget to watch our interview with the cast, too.

Is there going to be My Life With the Walter Boys season 2?

Netflix

Yes, there will be a My Life With the Walter Boys season 2! Netflix renewed the new TV show in December of 2023. The second season started filming in Calgary, Canada on August 14, 2024. Showrunner Melanie Halsall is returning for season 2, as is executive producer Ed Glauser. Becky Hartman Edwards will also serve as an EP.

While there's no book for My Life With the Walter Boys season 2, author Ali Novak revealed her upcoming sequel book won't influence the show, saying “none of the content that I am currently writing will be in the second season. They’ve just taken different directions. Still all the same characters that we love.”

The season recently wrapped in November 2024, and the cast spilled on their post-shoot plans. “We have our apartments for a little bit afterwards, so we’re definitely going to stick around,” star Asbhy Gentry tells TUDUM. The cast also talked about visiting Calgary Zoo, renting bikes, and heading to Banff (in Alberta, Canada), but was distraught when they learned their favorite dessert place had closed its doors. Thankfully, a new place called Cloud Naan came to the rescue. “It’s like Cloud Nine, but with naan,” Ashby says. Now I'm craving naan!

When is the My Life With the Walter Boys season 2 release date?

Netflix

We don't have an official release date for My Life With the Walter Boys season 2 yet, but we know it's coming in 2025. Considering season 1, which started streaming in December of 2023, premiered a little over a year after filming ended, it's safe to assume we'll get another December release.

“Season 2 is bigger and better,” creator Melanie Halsall tells TUDUM. “We’ve got massive set pieces in each episode, and the stories are more intricate. We found our feet with our characters, [and] the actors really understand their characters now. When I was coming back, I was excited to start shooting again because I knew we had great stories to tell.”

Who's in the My Life With the Walter Boys season 2 cast?

Netflix

Nikki Rodriguez, Noah LaLonde, and Ashby Gentry return as Jackie, Cole, and Alex respectively. We'll see other cast members like Marc Blucas, Johnny Link, Corey Fogelmanis, Connor Stanhope, Dean Petriw, Alix West Lefler, Lennix James, and Sarah Rafferty! Natalie Sharp, Carson MacCormac, Janet Kidder, Riele Downs, and Jake Manley are joining the cast.

What has the cast said about their time on the show?

Netflix

The My Life With the Walter Boys cast has loved their time on the show! When the first season dropped, Nikki Rodriguez posted a selfie with Noah LaLonde and Ashby Gentry with the caption "Cheers to the best time of my life."

"NUMBER ONE IN THE WORLD," Ashby said in his own Instagram post when the show hit the streaming platform's top spot. "GRATEFUL IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT."

During our own interview with the main trio, they talked about how quickly the bonded on set. "We got deep," Noah told me over Zoom.

"Nothing says bonding like goofing off," Ashby said. "I think it's easy to become a family when you include a little bit of that."

"There's so many topics that the show covers," Nikki added. "Love, loss, grief, family, and chosen family, and I feel like those are all topics we've all experienced and can connect to."

Who does Jackie end up with in My Life with the Walter Brothers in the books?

Netflix

In the My Life With the Walter Boys books, Alex and Jackie agree to just be friends after she confesses her feelings to Cole, who then confesses his own feelings in the pouring rain (dreamy!!). In the final episode of the TV show, Jackie confronts Cole after he glued her sister's broken teapot back together, and the two end up kissing. But then Cole finds Jackie has run back to New York City, leaving nothing but an "I'm sorry" note behind.

What do YOU want to see in My Life With the Walter Boys season 2? Follow us on Facebook for more pop culture news!

This post has been updated.

It's fun to learn more about ourselves and to feel understood — that's why we take personality tests so incessantly. And since we live in an age of increased self-awareness, we can apply those tests to so many things, like our Hogwarts house and makeup preferences. Clearly, knowing thyself has taken on a whole new meaning lately, and we love the things that these tests can tell us — but did you ever wonder how your personality might affect your dreams? In a new study, Best Mattress Brand set out to discover whether specific types of people had particular types of dreams. Read on for their fascinating results.

The test explored each component of the Myers-Briggs types, which can be broken down into eight characteristics:

Extraversion or Introversion: This is the way you focus your energy. Extroverts focus on the outside world, and Introverts focus on their inner world.

Sensing or Intuition: This is the way you process information. Sensing individuals focus on the facts, and Intuitive individuals interpret the facts.

Thinking or Feeling: This is the way you make decisions. Thinkers process decisions logically, and Feelers make decisions with context and emotion in mind.

Judging or Perceiving: This is the lens through which you interpret the world. Judgers prefer decisive action, while Perceivers like to keep their options open.

Together, your individual combination of these eight traits creates your personality type. Given these traits as variables, the study surveyed 1,000 people on their Myers Briggs traits and their sleep habits.

As you'd imagine, there were a lot of discrepancies between Introverts and Extroverts. Interestingly enough, Extroverts are 17.7 percent more satisfied with their levels of energy during waking hours than their introverted counterparts. Perhaps it's because of their dream habits: Extroverts also have 8.3 percent fewer nightmares than Introverts. Extroverts also dream about traveling 13.9 percent more often than Introverts do.

What about the content of these dreams? If you're Intuitive, you're 16.8 percent more likely to dream about being killed than Sensers are. ­Apparently, Intuitive individuals' dreams are more violent across the board: They also dream about getting attacked and “punching something with no effect" more often.

There's also a substantial difference between Thinkers and Feelers when it comes to dreams. The more emotional Feelers dream about getting pregnant more often than Thinkers do, and they dream about their friends more often too. Perhaps Thinkers are just thinking too hard; they talk in their sleep almost 10 percent more than Feelers do.

The Judgers and Perceivers have their differences as well; in fact, Perceivers have night terrors 10.2 percent more often than Judgers, probably due to the fact that they experience reality so deeply.

Does your personality type match up with these findings? Let us know @BritandCo.

(Photo via Brit + Co)

This post has been updated.

Break out your basketball jerseys because the Tree Hill Ravens are coming back! Multiple sources have toldVariety that Netflix will develop a sequel series to the beloved CW drama, which ran from 2003-2012. While the series hasn't officially been greenlit yet, multiple series stars have admitted they'd love to have a One Tree Hill reunion and make another installment of the show.

"I just can't see a world where something won't happen," Chad Michael Murray told E! News. "Something will happen. Whether we get everybody together and do a live reading of the show, or we create a new fictional future episode, I don't know what it will be."

"We’re all on board, we’re all friends, it would be the most fun show anybody has ever been on," Barbara Alyn Woods says in an Entertainment Tonight interview.

Here's everything to know about the One Tree Hillsequel series — including the stars rumored to return!

Who's returning to the One Tree Hill sequel?

Noam Galai/Getty Images for Netflix

One Tree Hill Sequel Cast

According to Variety, Sophia Bush and Hilarie Burton would return as Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer, respectively. Daneel Ackles would also return — and all three would serve as executive producers on the TV show alongside Warner Bros. Television, who was behind the original show.

When asked if he would return as Lucas Scott, Chad Michael Murray simply responded with “No clue." Considering previous reports suggested he had "no plans to return," this is promising news to me! He then added he hopes the sequel series “comes together for the fans.”

“I mean, this fandom that has grown, I mean, literally, I was just in Halifax a week ago and, sure enough, I’m running into 11, 12, 13-year-old kids who are in love with Tree Hill,” he continues. “They’re seeing it on Hulu and they’re going, ‘Oh, my gosh.’ It’s stood the test of time and I think to have some new stories, whatever iteration of the show that’s created, I want it for the fans.”

Will One Tree Hill have a season 10?

Warner Bros. Television

One Tree Hill Sequel Plot

One Tree Hill doesn't have a season 10, and it's unclear what kind of sequel this new One Tree Hill series would be. But it looks like star Hilarie Burton is confident the new series would be told through the female experience. "What has been really cool for [the entire cast and crew], they're all really proud of the work that we did back then too," she told Brit + Co in September. And so to see the public support this little show we made 20 years later, that's so special and it's so rare."

“Being able to work with a team of women and look at these stories [and] these characters through a female lens is something that — whether I was doing a reboot or a brand-new show or a different movie at this phase in my life, female teamwork is something that is so vital to me,” she adds in an interview with People. “It is the core of anything I've done that's successful...So I'm excited to be able to team up with people that I look up to, people that I love dearly.”

After the One Tree Hill finale featured all of our favorite characters' kids, I've always wanted to see a One Tree Hill next generation series that brings the kids into high school, which is something other fans have been wanting too!

One viral TikTok imagines an intro for a fictional Next Gen series starring Dylan O'Brien, Candice King, and Vanessa Marano. "Could you imagine this as a reboot with the kids though," one comment reads. "We can only dream."

Warner Bros. Television

And good news for OTH fans! Jana Kramer, who played Alex during the later seasons of the show, teased she thinks Peyton and Brooke "are coming back as moms."

"I had spoken to Hilarie about it, about Alex making an appearance when I knew about it," she tells People. "We had discussed it before the news broke...I think their intention is to bring back people that make sense. And Hilarie was like, 'I never got to meet Alex, so it'd be fun to have us meet,' and I'm like, 'I would love that. Sign me up.' So, we'll see. TBD."

Brooke having to deal with her kids' TikToks? Peyton thinking about the future of art and AI? Mouth leading the Tree Hill podcast empire? There is so much to dive into here. But all in all, One Tree Hill is one TV show that gives me so much hope, no matter how many times I watch it. And I know that bringing back our favorite found family is the perfect way to bring some of that hope right back into today's TV.

Scott Gries/Getty Images

One Tree Hill also starred Chad Michael Murray, James Lafferty, Austin Nichols, Bethany Joy Lenz, Paul Johansson, Barbara Alyn Woods, Lee Norris, and Antwon Tanner. Check back here for the latest updates on the One Tree Hill reboot cast!

Warner Bros. Television

What do you think about the One Tree Hill sequel?! Stay tuned for the latest news and read up on how This One Moment Proves Brooke Davis Is The Best Character On One Tree Hill.

This post has been updated.

Thanksgiving dinner is a meal we look forward to all year long. The savory stuffing, the roasted turkey, the cranberry sauce — does it get any better than that? Well if you ask us, the best part are the leftovers! And we're talking about more scrumptious meals than the usual turkey sandwich. We've scoured the internet for different ways to put that surplus of food — trimmings included — to use. These 15 recipes will have you licking your chops.

Amazing Thanksgiving leftovers the entire family will won't mind eating until the first week of December

Butternut Bakery

Pumpkin Cupcakes

Don't throw away that pumpkin purée just yet! You can use it to make delicious pumpkin cupcakes the entire family will keep coming back for. Once you add in a little pumpkin pie spice, flour, baking soda, dark brown sugar, and more goodies, you'll have 12 sweet treats to munch after Thanksgiving.

P.S. You may want to have someone else bake this recipe a second time so you can have 24 cupcakes!

Cozy Cravings

Butternut Squash and Bacon Crostini

Your family will become a huge fan of crostinis once they taste this recipe. Between the butternut squash, ricotta cheese, and bacon, everyone will be eating sweet as well as savory mini sandwiches.

Munching with Mariyah

Curried Pumpkin Red Lentil Soup

Blend your leftover pumpkin and squash with coconut milk, red curry paste, ginger, and more veggies for the heartiest lentil soup you've ever tasted. Everyone will be looking to recreate this dish for a taste of lentils once they eat it, er, sip it.

Brit + Co

Gluten-Free Frittata Recipe

Bring your Thanksgiving turkey leftovers together with some cheese, peppers, and onions for a delicious frittata. You can eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

The Butter Half

Thanksgiving Leftover Pop Tarts

These savory pop tarts are filled with cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and bits of tender turkey, then drizzled with gravy for a snack or meal that will knock your socks off. (via The Butter Half)

Foodess

Leftover Turkey Pot Pie

Put the sandwiches on hold, because this turkey pot pie is the *only* way to use those turkey leftovers to their greatest potential.

A Sweet Pea Chef

Leftover Turkey Salad With Cranberry Vinaigrette

Take your comfort food and turn it into something nutritious by topping salad with leftover turkey and a vinaigrette made with leftover cranberries.

Spices in My DNA

Thanksgiving Leftovers Everything Bagel Sandwich

This recipe stuffs your everything bagel with a poached egg, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and turkey.

The Seasoned Mom

Aunt Bee's Leftover Turkey Casserole

It's cozy casserole season, so this recipe is the perfect way to use up that leftover turkey by adding it to a pasta bake that is rich, creamy, and jam-packed with flavor.

Lively Table

Turkey and Wild Rice Soup

Nothing soothes the soul better than a steamy bowl of soup like this, filled to the brim with tender shredded turkey, nourishing veggies, and a generous dollop of Greek yogurt for extra smoothness.

The Cookie Recipe

Deep-Fried Loaded Mashed Potato Bites

If you don't know what to do with that heap of extra mashed potatoes, we've got you covered with these crispy potato, bacon, and cheese-filled bites of glory.

What Should I Make For...

Thanksgiving on a Roll

If you want ALL the carbs, this recipe sandwiches turkey and all the fixin's between a fresh roll and it. Is. Magical.

Whitney Bond

Turkey Fajita Rice Bowls

Kick things up a notch and put a healthy spin on your leftover turkey with these veggie-filled fajita rice bowls.

Yes to Yolks

Thanksgiving Leftovers Pierogi

This recipe smashes the traditional pierogi together with leftover Thanksgiving goodies for a fun and seasonal spin on a classic.

Jessica in the Kitcen

Vegetarian Meatloaf and Cranberry Thanksgiving Leftover Sandwich

Vegetarians can enjoy Thanksgiving to the max too, and if anything proves it, it's this stacked meatless 'wich that swaps the usual turkey for plant-based meatloaf.

Pickled Plum

Leftover Turkey Dinner Hash

These turkey-filled hash patties will make brunch fanatics swoon with their festive flavor and golden crisp exterior.

Bless Her Heart Y'all

Turkey Teriyaki Stir-Fry

This feast doesn't just give you a healthful meal after gorging on holiday eats, but it also serves as a weeknight wonder, clocking in at just 15 minutes from start to finish!

Chef de Home

Turkey Tetrazzini With Mushrooms

Putting that leftover turkey to use never looked so good with this creamy mushroom and pasta-filled tetrazzini.

Half Baked Harvest

Thanksgiving Leftovers Croque Madame

This Thanksgiving leftovers croque Madame sandwich is an excellent way to serve breakfast on Black Friday. After all, you'll need an extra boost from the fried eggs to get you through your mad dash at the mall!

Vikalinka

Butternut Squash Casserole

Not sure what to do with all the leftover butternut squash? Make a cheesy au gratin casserole!

Crowded Kitchen

Vegan Cornbread Stuffing

Don't throw away your cornbread after Thanksgiving! You can use what's leftover to bake vegan cornbread stuffing to give it a toasted yet flavorful taste.

Crowded Kitchen

Pumpkin Salad

This tasty and crunchy pumpkin salad is a great option to make if you're confused about what to do with your leftover pumpkins.

Averie Cooks

Caramel Apple Gingerbread Cookie Cups

Let's say you bought one too many apples for the apple pie you baked. Instead of lamenting over your 'mishap,' use what's leftover after Thanksgiving to make caramel apple gingerbread cookie cups!

Completely Delicious

Thanksgiving Leftovers Pizza

This delicious leftover pizza is a thoughtful option for anyone who swears they're tired of eating leftover Thanksgiving turkey after a couple of days.

Pink Owl Kitchen

Creamy Sweet Potato Soup

Chances are it'll be cold the week of Thanksgiving so use your leftover sweet potatoes to create this creamy soup. It's good for the soul!

For more Thanksgiving leftover recipes, follow us on Pinterest — and don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter!

This post has been updated.