Did you know that when you're invited over to someone's home there's a set of rules that you should always follow? Whether you're being invited over for dinner or asked to stay over for a weekend, we have all the do's and don'ts of house guest etiquette. These may seem like unspoken or trivial rules, but when it comes to being hosted in someone's home, we think everyone should know these in advance!
Don't believe us? Then take it from etiquette experts, Lisa Mirza Grotts and Aleka Shunk! These rules are all things that will make you seem like the perfect house guest, and definitely are sure to get you invited back again!
Showing Up Empty Handed
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To start, I'm a firm believer in never showing up to anywhere empty-handed whether it be a party, a dinner, or staying overnight at someone's house. Always bring something, even if it's small. I love to bring a bottle of wine with a bow tied around it, or a homemade dessert always does the trick as well!
Grotts, says, "Take an appropriate hostess gift. If you’re the guest of a family with children, a small gift for the children is fitting (think a puzzle or book), or you could take a gift for the entire family to enjoy, such as a board game. Other gifts might include a book or a kitchen gadget." We love the idea of bringing a small gift for their kids or something for them to do as a family!
Opening Their Fridge Door Without Asking
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I feel like this should be common knowledge, but I'm shocked every time I see people do this at other people's houses. If you weren't given permission, it can seem extremely rude to open a fridge door that does not belong to you! Especially, don't take things inside without explicit permission from the host! You don't want to appear disrespectful or rude, so ask the host (politely) if they have what you're looking for so they can retrieve it — or at least give you permission to get it yourself.
Leaving A Mess Behind
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This is probably one of the most important rules: always, always, always clean up after yourself when you're in someone else's home! It's not your place, so always be respectful of that and clean up after yourself. I like to make it appear as if I wasn't even there. I'm always cleaning up the common area and tidying up where they let me sleep. So, make sure to make the bed, don't leave clothes all over the floor, and especially put things back where you found them.
Shunk says, "Saying something like, 'Can I help with the dishes?' or 'Can I strip the sheets for you?' are two common offerings. These offerings tell the host that you are well aware of the work they are putting in and that you appreciate their efforts. Not offering at all may come across as ignorant."
We always want to make sure that we are checking in to offer help to the host!
Not Doing Your Dishes
I don't think anyone particularly likes doing dishes, but if you're in someone's home then make sure you're cleaning the dishes you use. I find it really disrespectful to leave things out after you've used them so just make sure to tidy up the space where you ate, throw things in the dishwasher, or rinse them off. Someone's letting you into their home and allowing you to use their dishes, so do this as a thank you!
Expecting To Use All Of Their Toiletries
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It's very common for a lot of people to have toiletries in their guest bathroom for guests, but it's not the case for everyone so don't expect it! Make sure to bring your own toiletries so you're:
- Not using up all of theirs
- Prepared if they don't have any available
Not Saying "Please" And "Thank You"
Like anywhere else, make sure to use your manners and say "please" and "thank you" no matter what! Even if you're super close with them, it's still polite to continually thank the host and be an altogether gracious guest!
Expect To Eat Their Cooking
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Sometimes hosts will provide food or invite guests to eat with them out of the kindness of their heart, but don't expect that to be the case! And definitely don't ask them "what's for dinner," because they may not have planned for more than themselves! Just wait to see if they ask, or plan for your own alternative dinner plans.
Overstay Your Welcome
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Whether you're staying for dinner or a weekend, make sure your host knows how long you're planning on staying and check that it's okay ahead of time. No one likes the guest that just won't go home. So, confirm with them the time frame in which you're staying, so that it isn't strenuous for the hosts!
Grotts says, "Some guests stay too long and some don’t stay long enough. Strike the perfect balance and observe a two-night maximum." This is a great rule of thumb to follow!
Make Too Much Noise/Be Too Loud
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When you're in someone's home, it's always polite to be mindful of the volume of which you're speaking, making phone calls, or watching TV. You especially don't want to be doing any of these things too late, because you don't want to disrupt the hosts and their neighbors. It can be incredibly frustrating to have to ask a guest to keep it down, or hear from the neighbors that your guest was too loud. Just be mindful of your volume and how late you're making noise!
Snoop Through Other Drawers Or Rooms
We all have snoopy tendencies, but if someone invites you over to hangout or to stay at their house, do not go in uninvited territory. For example, if you're staying in a guest bedroom, then stick to just using your designated room and bathroom. The common area is totally fine, but don't go into any other bedrooms, closets, and offices.
What I also love to do is double check with the host about closet/drawer space for your clothes, since a lot of times, people use those spaces for storage, and you don't want to go through them while you're there. It's just polite not to go where you haven't been invited to go, so always ask first!
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