3 Times Gossiping Could Actually Improve Your Relationships

Dear Lumi: Will I ever be worthy of being loved romantically? I have never been in a relationship, and I’m scared I will never be. I have so much love to give, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the chance to show it.

Bean, Illinois

• Sun sign: Virgo
• Rising sign: Cancer
• Moon sign: Gemini

Dear Virgo: I understand where you're coming from, as many people feel this way these days. Here’s a little personal story from my journey: In my early 20s, I was pretty inexperienced in love and pressured by societal expectations to settle down by 30. Sigh...

I went to great lengths to attract a partner, even dabbling in spells and misleading manifestation techniques. Please tread carefully if you're trying this. Instead of finding true love, I drew a series of “ghosts” and situationships. I felt I had so much love to offer, but it all led to emptiness and eventually a toxic relationship with someone I thought was my soulmate, but turned out to be my karmic partner. There’s more to this story, but let’s save it for another time.

The end of that relationship led me to discover the essence of self-love and self-acceptance, eventually stepping into my own worth. Astrology has become a guiding light for me in that regard — and can be for you, too.

​Let’s Talk About Your Rising Sign & How It Defines Your Relationship Standards

In astrology, examining your rising sign can offer profound insights. With Cancer rising, your soul yearns for deep, emotional connections. Creating a biological or soul family may bring you joy and fulfillment. Opposite Cancer is Capricorn, which governs the 7th house of your birth chart — the area that reveals the type of partners you need and what you should embody to feel complete, whether you’re with someone or not. A Capricorn-ruled 7th house suggests that a structured, secure, and straightforward partner will align with your needs. If you find yourself in a relationship that feels stagnant or uncertain from the start, it’s a sign that you’re not embodying Capricorn’s qualities, and it might be time to move on.

Your natural tendency to give and care deeply for others stems from a place of genuine concern and desire to ensure everyone’s well-being. However, it’s crucial for you to seek security from within. Feeling at home in your skin and living in the moment are great starting points.

Avoid individuals who offer unrequited love or broken promises. You may have an intuitive sense that you might overlook — trust it. By becoming more aware of your physical and emotional responses to others, you can discern between genuine connections and energy-draining situations. Establishing a practice of quiet reflection and observation can facilitate understanding the root of your heightened emotions.

The core message here is to build security within yourself and extend grace and understanding to yourself throughout your journey. It’s perfectly okay to be single right now; you're worthy of attracting a partner who will cherish all of you. To find the love of your life, you must first love yourself — not in a self-centered way, but by honoring your own needs and boundaries. Saying no to situations and people not aligning with your sensitive soul will make you stronger than you realize. The Universe will respond with an endearing relationship by practicing this because you’ve learned to honor yourself.

With Love and Stars,

Lumi

​How Your Rising Sign Cultivates Self-Acceptance and Attracts the Love You Need

Like an outfit, your rising sign showcases your personality, identity, and perception of the world. What if I tell you that the rising sign can also attract the love you need in your journey? Think of your rising sign as your energy and how you embody it. It's the mirror we carry, and by our energy, we can keep it clean and pristine or murky and distorted. Sometimes, we cannot stand what we see in ourselves, and that channeled energy emanates outward, creating distortion-filled experiences. When this happens, you lose your 'main character' energy, which results in you leaving your life to chance rather than writing your chapters. When you embody complete self-acceptance and happiness within yourself, these are the key ingredients in powering up your rising sign and your 7th house.

As you begin to feel at peace, love, and harmony to the best of your ability, this will attract what you desire in your life and in love. The world will respond and reflect back all that we project. It’s that simple. Our rising sign is responsible for this active energy, and learning how to master it, will be the key to help you understand the nature of your personality while also attracting your dreams. The ascendant is the portal of your experiences, good and bad. Now that we understand the gist of the rising sign, let's explore your rising sign and how you can tap into your main character energy.

​Love Alchemy: How Your Rising Sign Shapes Relationships

Aries Rising

Aries Rising radiates a bold, adventurous energy, often attracting equally spirited partners. To attract the love of their life, they should embrace their assertiveness and passion. By channeling the competitive energy of their 7th house (Libra), they can cultivate harmony in relationships without sacrificing their individuality. Self-acceptance means recognizing their fierce independence while being open to collaboration and compromise. The dynamic energy of Mars empowers them to attract a partner who admires their fiery spirit yet values partnership.

Taurus Rising

Grounded and sensual, Taurus Rising can attract lasting love through their nurturing nature. Their 7th house energy in Scorpio encourages depth and intensity in relationships. To manifest their ideal partner, Taurus Rising must embrace their inner beauty and the pleasure of self-care. By embodying their desire for stability and security, they can project an aura of comfort and reliability, making them irresistible to those seeking genuine connections. Venus, their ruling planet, enhances their allure, helping them draw the right kind of love.

Gemini Rising

With a quick wit and charm, Gemini Rising attracts partners through intellectual stimulation. Their 7th house in Sagittarius encourages exploration and adventure. To attract their soulmate, they should openly embrace their duality and communicate their needs and desires. Their self-acceptance journey involves acknowledging their inquisitiveness while finding ways to ground themselves in relationships. Mercury, their ruling planet, sharpens their communication skills, enabling them to draw in a partner who shares their passion for life and learning.

Cancer Rising

Cancer Rising embodies warmth and nurturing energy, making them deeply appealing to potential partners. Their 7th house in Capricorn requires a balance between emotional depth and practical commitment. To attract a lasting love, Cancer Rising should accept their need for security while being open to vulnerability. Utilizing their emotional intelligence to discern their connections creates a safe space for love to flourish. The Moon, their ruling planet, enhances their intuition and empathy, helping them attract a partner who values their nurturing nature and ambition.

Leo Rising

Confident and charismatic, Leo Rising draws people in with their radiant energy. Their 7th house in Aquarius encourages them to seek uniqueness in relationships. To draw in the love they need, Leo Rising must embody self-love while giving space for individuality. By embracing their creativity and leading with generosity, the Sun, their ruling planet, inspires them to attract a partner who appreciates their vibrant spirit and shares their vision for a progressive, loving partnership.

Virgo Rising

Practical and detail-oriented, Virgo Rising has a unique charm that attracts partners seeking stability and support. Their 7th house in Pisces invites them to explore relationships' emotional and spiritual aspects. Virgo Rising should love their imperfections and the beauty of vulnerability to attract an epic partnership. By cultivating self-acceptance and finding joy in the little things, Mercury, their ruling planet, helps them draw in a partner who appreciates their grounded nature while encouraging emotional exploration.

Libra Rising

Charming and harmonious, Libra Rising attracts partners through their innate ability to create beauty and balance. Their 7th house in Aries prompts them to be more assertive in love. Libra Rising must embrace the desire for partnership to attract their ideal partner while also recognizing the importance of self-identity. Being bold in expressing their needs will ignite their main character energy, as Venus, their ruling planet, empowers them to draw in a partner who values connection and independence.

Scorpio Rising

Intense and magnetic, Scorpio Rising naturally attracts people with their enigmatic presence. Their 7th house in Taurus urges them to seek relationship stability and loyalty. Scorpio Rising should tap into their emotional depth and learn to communicate openly to attract the love they desire. Valuing their worth is vital to mastering their life path. By engaging in self-love and finding a balance between their passionate nature and a desire for security, Pluto and Mars, their ruling planets, will manifest in attracting a partner who appreciates their intensity and commitment.

Sagittarius Rising

Adventurous and free-spirited, Sagittarius Rising attracts partners through their love of exploration and philosophy. Their 7th house in Gemini encourages communication and curiosity in relationships. To attract their ideal love, Sagittarius Rising has to tap into their quest for knowledge while remaining open to commitment. By cultivating self-worth and expressing their authentic self, Jupiter, their ruling planet, guides them in drawing in a partner who shares their passion for adventure and intellectual pursuits.

Capricorn Rising

Disciplined and ambitious, Capricorn Rising manifests partnerships through their drive and determination. Their 7th house in Cancer encourages them to explore emotional depth in relationships. To attract lasting love, Capricorn Rising should tap into their nurturing side and allow themselves to be vulnerable. By practicing self-love while balancing their ambitions with emotional availability, Saturn, their ruling planet, aids them in attracting a partner who admires their strength while valuing emotional connection.

Aquarius Rising

Innovative and independent, Aquarius Rising draws in partners with their unique perspectives and humanitarian spirit. Their 7th house in Leo invites them to ignite creativity and passion in relationships. Aquarius Rising must acknowledge their desire for freedom while recognizing the value of connection to attract the love they desire. By embodying their authentic and unique self, Uranus, their ruling planet, inspires them to draw in a partner who appreciates their individuality and shares their vision for a better world.

Pisces Rising

Dreamy and compassionate, Pisces Rising attracts partners through their empathetic and intuitive nature. Their 7th house in Virgo encourages them to seek practicality and service in relationships. To attract true love, it's vital for Pisces Rising to embrace their sensitivity while grounding themselves in reality. By practicing self-love and setting healthy boundaries, Neptune and Jupiter, their ruling planets, will manifest a partner who appreciates their depth and aligns with their desire for meaningful connections.

Understanding your rising sign can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth. Exploring your ascendant's unique traits and energies will help you get to know yourself and all its shades and how you navigate love and relationships. This awareness empowers you to embrace your authentic self and enables you to identify patterns that may hold you back. As you align with your rising sign's essence and ruling planet, you can cultivate more happiness and confidence, opening pathways to attract meaningful connections and experiences that resonate with your true essence. Embracing your rising sign invites you to step into your main character energy, allowing you to write your story with intention and authenticity.

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

Doctor Odyssey — On ABC/Hulu

Max might live on a luxury cruise ship, but life is not a vacation (even if the crew really knows how to party). Working as the ship's doctor means constantly facing unexpected medical (and relational) issues. And while that already sounds complicated, being miles off shore doesn't help.

Doctor Odyssey stars Joshua Jackson, Don Johnson, Callum Swan, Emma Churms, and Stuart Clark.

You'd think by now we'd know what to expect from a day at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, but Grey's Anatomy season 21 has PLENTY of surprises in store. I'm still reeling from Mika's sister undergoing cancer treatment and potential fertility-saving treatment.

Grey's Anatomy season 21 stars Ellen Pompeo, Chandra Wilson, James Pickens Jr., Kevin McKidd, and Camilla Luddington.

Transplant — On Peacock

This can't-miss show follows Syrian doctor Bashir "Bash" Hamed, who takes refuge in Canada during the Syrian Civil War and rebuilds his career at Toronto's York Memorial Hospital.

Transplant stars Hamza Haq, Laurence Leboeuf, Ayisha Issa, Jim Watson, and Sirena Gulamgaus.

Chicago Med — On NBC And Peacock

Dick Wolf's NBC medical drama provides the staff of Gaffney Medical with plenty of challenges — both inside the emergency department and out.

Chicago Med stars S. Epatha Merkerson, Oliver Platt, Marlyne Barrett, Jessy Schram, and Luke Mitchell.

Saving Hope — On Hulu

Dr. Alex Reid already has a lot on her mind as a doctor at Hope Zion. But when a car accident leaves her fiancé Dr. Charles Harris in a coma (while on the way to their wedding no less), Alex has to balance her patients with the hope that he'll make it out okay.

Saving Hope stars Erica Durance, Michael Shanks, Erica Durance, Michael Shanks, Daniel Gillies, Huse Madhavji, Julia Taylor Ross, Kristopher Turner, Wendy Crewson, and Benjamin Ayres.

New Amsterdam — On Netflix And Peacock

Upholding tradition while also embracing the new is something we've all probably faced at one point or another, and that includes this medical drama. When Dr. Max Goodwin becomes the director at one of the oldest hospitals in the country, he's determined to change it for the better.

New Amsterdam stars Ryan Eggold, Freema Agyeman, and Janet Montgomery.

SkyMed — On Paramount+

Saving lives in a hospital? Incredible. Saving lives in a plane? Miraculous. This medical drama TV show follows the nurses and pilots flying air ambulances through Northern Canada, which is a concept I don't think I'll ever wrap my head around.

SkyMed stars Natasha Calis, Ace “Aason” Nadjiwon, Morgan Holmstrom, Praneet Akilla, Thomas Elms, Mercedes Morris, Kheon Clarke, and Braeden Clarke.

Dr. Death — On Peacock

Mandy Moore stars in this medical drama TV show, which follows a doctor who cares more about his ego than his patients — and causes more harm than good.

Dr. Death stars Joshua Jackson, Grace Gummer, Christian Slater, Alec Baldwin, AnnaSophia Robb, Édgar Ramírez, Mandy Moore, Ashley Madekwe, Gustaf Hammarsten, and Luke Kirby.

The Resident — On Netflix And Hulu

Gilmore Girls fans will want to tune into this one because Matt Czuchry (Logan) stars as the lead! And dang he looks good in scrubs. This medical drama follows the staff at Chastain Park Memorial Hospital in Atlanta, treating their patients while also peeking past the curtain into the healthcare industry. But don't worry, there's plenty of relationship drama, too ;).

The Resident stars Matt Czuchry, Emily VanCamp, Manish Dayal, Shaunette Renée Wilson, Bruce Greenwood, Merrin Dungey, Melina Kanakaredes, Moran Atias, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, and Andrew McCarthy.

House — On AppleTV+, Hulu, Prime Video, And Peacock

The successful and unconventional Dr. House leads a team of diagnosticians at New Jersey's Princeton–Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in this loose take on Dr. Holmes.

House stars Hugh Laurie, Lisa Edelstein, Omar Epps, Robert Sean Leonard, Jennifer Morrison, Jesse Spencer, Peter Jacobson, Kal Penn, Olivia Wilde, Amber Tamblyn, Odette Annable, and Charlyne Yi.

The Good Doctor — On Hulu

In this medical drama, Freddie Highmore stars as Shaun Murphy, the good doctor in question, an autistic surgical resident at San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital. While he creates a new life for himself San Jose, California, it doesn't take long for his life in Wyoming to catch up with him.

The Good Doctor stars Freddie Highmore, Christina Chang, Richard Schiff, Will Yun Lee, Fiona Gubelmann, Paige Spara, Noah Galvin, and Bria Samoné Henderson.

Call The Midwife — On Netflix

Take a trip to London (and the '50s and '60s) with this dramatic series revolving around the lives of nurse midwives in the East End.

Call The Midwife stars Jessica Raine, Miranda Hart, Helen George, Bryony Hannah, Laura Main, Jenny Agutter, Pam Ferris, Judy Parfitt, Cliff Parisi, Stephen McGann, Ben Caplan, Daniel Laurie, Emerald Fennell, Victoria Yeates, Jack Ashton, Linda Bassett, Charlotte Ritchie, Kate Lamb, Jennifer Kirby, Annabelle Apsion, and Leonie Elliott.

Brilliant Minds — On NBC, FuboTV, And Peacock

One of NBC's newest medical dramas follows a neurologist and his group of interns as they explore our brains like we've never seen before as they deal with relationships, mental health, and life outside the hospital.

Brilliant Minds stars Zachary Quinto, Tamberla Perry, Ashleigh LaThrop, Alex MacNicoll, Aury Krebs, Spence Moore II, and Teddy Sears.

Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman — On Prime Video

If you're a fan of science AND history, then tune into this 90s TV show that has literally every kind of drama wrapped into one: family, relationship, and more. I promise the series, which follows Dr. Michaela Quinn as she moves from Boston to the West in the 1800s, is a super compelling watch.

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman stars Jane Seymour, Joe Lando, Chad Allen, Shawn Toovey, Orson Bean, Jessica Bowman, and Erika Flores.

The Night Shift — Rent On Amazon Prime

If you thought your average medical drama was crazy during the day, wait until you see The Night Shift, which follows the nightly staff — and patients — at San Antonio Memorial Hospital.

The Night Shift stars Eoin Macken, Jill Flint, Ken Leung, Brendan Fehr, Robert Bailey, Jr., Jeananne Goossen, JR Lemon, Freddy Rodriguez, Daniella Alonso, Scott Wolf, Tanaya Beatty, and Luke Macfarlane.

A Gifted Man — On AppleTV+

Surgeon Michael is self-absorbed, cold, and materialistic — but things start to change when the ghost of his late wife begins visiting him.

A Gifted Man stars Patrick Wilson, Jennifer Ehle, Margo Martindale, Liam Aiken, Julie Benz, Pablo Schreiber, Rachelle Lefevre, and Afton Williamson.

ER — On Hulu And Max

If you've ever been to the ER, then you know how chaotic it can be. And seeing both the professional and personal issues play out in this medical drama? Just as wild as you'd think.

ER stars Anthony Edwards, George Clooney, Sherry Stringfield, Noah Wyle, Julianna Margulies, Eriq La Salle, Gloria Reuben, Laura Innes, Maria Bello, Alex Kingston, Kellie Martin, Paul McCrane, Goran Višnjić, Michael Michele, Erik Palladino, Ming-Na Wen, and Maura Tierney.

Body of Proof — On Hulu

Think of Body of Proof like Gilmore Girls in a different font. Because while balancing her career as a medical examiner with the rest of her life, Dr. Megan Hunt is also trying to reconnect with her daughter.

Body of Proof stars Dana Delany, Jeri Ryan, John Carroll Lynch, Nicholas Bishop, Sonja Sohn, Geoffrey Arend, Windell Middlebrooks, Mary Mouser, Mark Valley, and Elyes Gabel.

Good Sam — On AppleTV+

One Tree Hill's Sophia Bush leads this medical drama about Dr. Sam Griffith, who becomes Lakeshore Sentinel's top surgeon when her boss (and dad) falls into a coma. Naturally, that means she's in charge when he wakes up.

Good Sam stars Jason Isaacs, Sophia Bush, Skye P. Marshall, Michael Stahl-David, Omar Maskati, Wendy Crewson, Edwin Hodge, and Davi Santos.

Private Practice — On Hulu

Anyone who's missing Bridgerton should totally tune into this medical drama (and Grey's Anatomy spinoff) from Shonda Rhimes! Addison Montgomery is a neonatal surgeon who swaps Seattle Grace Hospital for a public clinic in LA (and a love triangle for a fresh start).

Private Practice stars Kate Walsh, Tim Daly, Audra McDonald, Paul Adelstein, KaDee Strickland, Chris Lowell, Taye Diggs, Amy Brenneman, Brian Benben, Caterina Scorsone, Benjamin Bratt, and Griffin Gluck.

Trust Me — On The Roku Channel

Trust is one of the most important parts of a doctor-patient relationship. But what happens when that trust disintegrates? This medical drama finds out.

Trust Me stars Jodie Whittaker, Emun Elliott, Sharon Small, Blake Harrison, Alfred Enoch, Katie Clarkson-Hill, John Hannah, and Ashley Jensen.