6 Ways To Magically Attract New Friends (And Keep The Ones You Have)

how to attract new friendshow to attract new friends

If you're finding it hard to make friends as an adult, or maintain friendships from different life stages, you're definitely not alone. According to Dr. Deborah Gilboa, MD, Scientific Advisor for Azar, and a recent study from Azar and Talker, it's not abnormal to feel heightened levels of loneliness. In fact, that study suggests Gen Z feels lonely every day.

"Loneliness feels isolating because it goes beyond just lacking company; it’s a lack of meaningful connection," she says over email. "Social contact without meaning can worsen loneliness as it increases the individual’s perception of isolation and lack of belonging. The antidote is true social connection."

But how can we find that real social connection and community? I talked to Dr. Gilboa, JustAnswer Mental Health Expert Jennifer Kelman, and NYC Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Stratyner PhD, for some insight into behaviors that attract friends. Here are some behaviors that will simply make you irresistible — and will help you identify good friends in others!

Keep reading for some advice on how to attract friends — and easy ways to be a better friend to the people you love.

Brit + Co

There's no shame in realizing you're feeling lonely, but it's also important to identify when that loneliness morphs into isolation. "Even though many might be experiencing the same feelings, that doesn't mean they are reaching out for support," Kelman says. "Many are not feeling enough strength to reach out to others or feel like they are being a burden so they reason alone with their feelings."

"It's also become more evident as our reliance on digital communication has grown, sometimes leaving us more connected online but feeling less understood and less connected in more meaningful, in-person ways," Dr. Stratyner adds. And then there's the social expectation of it all. "Many people tend to hide their loneliness because they feel shame or embarrassment about it. This can make it even harder to open up and connect with others who might be feeling the same way. The more we keep these feelings to ourselves, the more it reinforces the isolation, even though we all experience it in varying forms."

"It is hard to see light when things feel dark, and many go inward to deal with their feelings," Kelman points out. "Many are so burdened by their feelings that they might not feel capable to care for those around them or to show up and be present for others."

And just like Dr. Gilboa says, we're looking for true connection, not just surface-level friendships. But how can we make true social connection? Here's what they suggest.

1. A good friend shows care and empathy for the people around them.

If you care for the people around you, there's a very good chance others will want to be your friend. "People that show empathy toward others are very attractive qualities as it shows that one has the capacity to care for others and be present for them," Kelman says. "Those that are gregarious and selfless can be quite appealing as well. Those that are self-involved tend to repel others rather than attract."

Focusing on others instead of yourself can be easier said than done, but the it's definitely worth it. "People are drawn to those who show genuine care and understanding," Dr. Stratyner agrees.

​2. A good friend is reliable and trustworthy.

Our inner circle is going to be made up of people who know us inside and out, but it's unlikely someone will reach that level of emotional intimacy unless you really trust them. "In friendship people rate reliability, honesty and trustworthiness more highly [than romantic relationships]," Dr. Gilboa says.

​3. People are attracted to humor.

Brit + Co

I'm sure we can all think of someone who never fails to make us laugh. And being the funny friend can mean a lot of things: you know how to poke fun at yourself or you don't take things too seriously (unless they need to be taken seriously, of course). But that doesn't mean making other people the butt of mean jokes.

"A good sense of humor helps foster a positive, lighthearted atmosphere, making interactions feel enjoyable and memorable," Stratyner says. "Plus, everyone loves to laugh."

​4. You need to be a good listener.

No one wants to be talked at and never listened to. After all, we do have two ears and one mouth! But simply nodding your head and zoning out won't cut it. "People appreciate feeling truly heard," Dr. Stratyner says. "This demonstrates respect, interest, and a willingness to connect on a deeper level."

"Be a great listener without asserting your own views or agenda," Kelman adds. "Be available, vulnerable and present. Ask those around you how they are and truly listen to how they feel. Be open and direct and most of all, be a constant. Nothing better than knowing that you will be there for all things."

So engage with what your friends are saying and, even better, remember it later!

5. A good friend is generous.

Is there a better time to talk about generosity than Thanksgiving? Be generous with your time, resources, and your heart — but don't worry, that doesn't mean you have to let someone else steam roll you. After all, a good friend also won't take advantage of you!

"Giving to others and the community are wonderful traits and habits that are very attractive to others and may draw people in," Kelman says. "People want to be around people that give and are easy-going in their interactions with individuals and the world around them."

​6. New friends are attracted to positivity.

Brit + Co

When things feel dark, new friends will be attracted to someone who can make the world feel a little lighter. "People are often attracted to those who can find the silver lining, stay hopeful, and spread good vibes, especially in challenging situations," Dr. Stratyner says.

That's not to say you can never have bad days or process things like disappointment and grief. It just means you aren't ruled by them. (Listen, as an Enneagram 4, I'm talking to myself!)

Ok, you might be thinking, this is great but what do I do with this information? Here are some easy, actionable steps to take if you want to make new friends.

1. Understand why you're feeling lonely will help you address the real problem.

"First is to get an understanding of the loneliness and where it is coming from...finding community too soon may cause an increase in loneliness even while being surrounded by others," Kelman recommends.

You can't reach a solution if you don't know what the real problem is. I realized since I work from home, I need to do better about leaving the apartment, and my favorite way to spend an afternoon is coworking with a friend at a coffee shop.

​2. Finding new hobbies will connect you with similar people.

I met some of my best friends through a big movie group, which means when I have a meme or a piece of news to fangirl over, I know exactly who to contact. "Find activities that ignite you, find like minded individuals with whom to connect," Kelman adds. "Join a book club, pick up a new sport or hobby, but again, trying to immerse yourself too soon may not have any impact on the lonely feelings."

"The antidote to loneliness is social connection — true connection that paves the way for belonging," Dr. Gilboah says. "Talking to people to learn what interests and values are shared will open the door for the types of relationships that become community."

​3. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

Brit + Co

Listen. If you only ever order takeout and watch Netflix, you'll simply never make new connections. You gotta get after it! "Look for community events, clubs, or hobby groups that align with your interests, whether book clubs, sports leagues, or volunteering opportunities," Dr. Stratyner says. "Being around people with shared passions makes it easier to start conversations and find common ground."

​4. And don't be afraid to reach out first.

For some reason, we've decided that reaching out first (or double texting) means we're needy and insufferable. This is simply not the case because who doesn't want to know they were thought of!! Plus, there's a good chance that if you're overthinking every little detail, other people are too.

"Reach out, even in small ways, to those around us who may be feeling the same," says Dr. Gilboah. "Loneliness often leads to rumination - the act of dwelling on or spiraling downward through negative thoughts. Ruminating can cause further isolation and distracts us from the people and stimuli around us."

​5. Be present when you're finally with people.

When you do make special connections, it's super important to make sure you're offering your full attention. "Showing up emotionally and physically makes them feel valued and heard, strengthening your bond," Dr. Stratyner says. She also recommends checking in to remind them you're there, and genuinely celebrating their wins (which, separately, is definitely a sign of being a girls' girl). "If a friend is going through a tough time, offer to help in any way you can," she adds. "Sometimes, simply acknowledging their struggle and offering your time can make all the difference."

"The best news about friendship is that Gen Z values authenticity above just about any other factor in friendship," Dr. Gilboah says. "Gathering the courage to be your true self and [mixing] that with empathetic listening will make you a sought after friend."

What's your favorite way to get to know new friends? Here are 10 Thought-Provoking Questions To Know Close Friends More Intimately!

One of the things I fondly remember about 2015 is learning that Gwen StefaniandBlake Shelton were dating. I was sad when she decided to divorce her ex-husband Gavin Rossdale, but I was onboard with her finding a new version of happiness! I've actually wondered if she was surprised to find that in Blake and vice versa.

Since I'm a nosy cookie, I decided to take a fun trip down memory lane to see how Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton's love story has evolved over the years. There's nothing quite like seeing two people find success in love and marriage again to keep my romantic dreams alive!

A Full Relationship Timeline For Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton

Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for TNT

April 2014 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Meet As Co-Workers On The Voice

We've all heard that workplace romances are bad for business, but that's not always the case. In Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani's situation, meeting at work was one of the best things that happened for them! They met while taping Season 7 of The Voice, but kept things friendly and professional given they were still married to their former spouses, Gavin Rossdale and Miranda Lambert.

November 2014 — Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Take A Selfie Together

In a picture that's still on Gwen's Instagram page, the former co-workers snapped a cute selfie together that showed them happily grinning. She captioned it, "💓him @blakeshelton@nbcthevoice gx."

Norm Hall/Getty Images

July and August 2015 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Announce Their Divorces

Despite the fact Blake Shelton and his ex-wife Miranda Lambert had been together for a decade, they shared an exclusive statement with The Associated Pressabout their decision to divorce. "It is with heavy hearts that we move forward separately. We are real people, with real lives, with real families, friends and colleagues. Therefore, we kindly ask for privacy and compassion concerning this very personal matter," they said.

When Gwen appeared on The Howard Stern Showin 2016, she revealed she wasn't expecting Blake's situation to mirror her own. "I was in shock, because I felt like he was exposing me...I had this huge weight on me and nobody but my parents and obviously everybody involved knew."

The two began confiding in each other and eventually developed a friendship that would set the tone for their romantic relationship.

January 2016 — Blake Shelton Gifts Gwen Stefani A Horse

It's always nice when the person we're dating pays attention to our interests and hobbies, which is exactly what Blake Shelton did when he gifted Gwen a horse! She shared a gorgeous snapshot of the beautiful 'Halo' on Instagram and wrote a little snazzy caption to celebrate how gorgeous the horse is.

Blake joked with Entertainment Tonight, "Gwen, she loves riding and she loves horses. It's actually so funny that people are so shocked by that, but [just try to] name me one girl on the planet that doesn't love horses or just think that they are beautiful."

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

February 2016 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Make Their Relationship Red Carpet Official

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani were glowing as they posed for pictures on the red carpet of Vanity Fair's Oscar party in 2016. USA Today reported that Gwen wore a red-hot dress by Yanina Couture while Blake stayed true to his all-America cowboy casual look.

That same month Blake shared how much of a positive impact Gwen had on his life. He told Billboard, "Gwen saved my life. Who else on earth could understand going through a high-profile divorce from another musician? You can’t even imagine the similarities in our divorces."

When Gwen appeared on The Kelly Clarkson Show in 2022, she dished about her and Blake's red carpet debut. "I think I played at the party and then we went out that night...That melts me when I see it. It's such a moment for me — a good one," she said with her signature smile on her face.

November 2017 — Gwen Stefani Encourages Blake Shelton to Celebrate His Sex Symbol Status

More than a year later, Blake was crowned People's Sexiest Man Alive in 2017, and initially, it shocked him. He joked that maybe People chose him as a last resort, but was quick to highlight how Gwen encouraged him to embrace his new title. "She goes, ‘Listen to me, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life if you don’t take this gift and just live in the moment.'"

Larry Busacca/Getty Images for NARAS

June 2018 — Blake Shelton Shows His Support For Gwen Stefani's Las Vegas Residency

When it came time for Gwen Stefani to jumpstart her Las Vegas Residency in 2018, Blake Shelton made sure to show his full support for her. She shared a series of cute pictures on Instagram that showed the two sharing a intimate kiss moments before she hit the stage for the first time.

Emma McIntyre/Getty Images

August 2019 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Appear on The Voice as Judges Again

People shared that when Gwen Stefani returned as one of the judges on The Voice in 2017, it was like a happy reunion for her. "I’m so happy to be back. My life changed so much on this show...then to be with my best friend Blakey, and to be here with Kelly and John, I feel pretty lucky right now," she exclusively told the outlet.

Rich Fury/Getty Images

December 2019 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Release Their Duet "Nobody But You"

As part of Blake's album Fully Loaded: God's Country, he and Gwen recorded "Nobody But You" together. He said the song perfectly aligned with what was going on in his life during an interview with People. "I also realized how important it is for me and where I am in my life, and I think that's why [writer] Shane [McAnally] was trying to get it to me," he said.The couple went on to perform it at the Grammy's in 2020 and it was obvious they felt every lyric they sang.

Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

July 2020 — Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani Share "Happy Anywhere" During Lockdown

When the pandemic was still very fresh and everyone was on lockdown, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani shared another single — "Happy Anywhere" — on Instagram. Once again, their love for each other was evident in the way they looked at each other while singing.

Gwen also shared how the pandemic brought them closer together during an interview with Entertainment Tonight. "We got to be in Oklahoma as a family. We got to do things we never get to do, like try to make sourdough bread, like everybody else in America, and just do so many fun things -- garden, tear down trees, plant tons of different things," she said.

Kevin Winter/Getty Images for iHeart Media

October 2020 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Get Engaged

After five years of dating, the happy couple sharing the happy news that they were engaged! Gwen posted another amazing picture of them while showing off her new ring on Instagram in 2020. Her caption simply read, "@blakeshelton yes please! 💍🙏🏻 gx". But, that doesn't mean the couple didn't have some things to discuss and work on prior to entering a new chapter together.During a video interview with the Today show hosts in 2021, Gwen briefly talked about this. "I think there was a lot to consider when you have so many people involved. Children, and their hearts, and everybody in my family [and] his family, we all went through a lot together," she said.

July 2021 — The Happy Couple Walk Down the Aisle Together

Less than a year of announcing their engagement, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani got married at his ranch in Oklahoma. Based on the snapshots shared by People, the couple looked d*mn good! I literally have Gwen's wedding dress saved as inspo for my own special day!Since then, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani have shown up for each other in truly inspiring ways. That's not to say they have a perfect relationship though because relationships take work. But, it seems like they've truly found their sweet escape in each other no matter how much work it takes to keep their love going BTS.

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for The Recording Academy

April 2024 — Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Are Still Going Strong

As far as those divorce rumors? Gwen Stefani laid them to rest. She told Nylon, "It’s just lies. The truth is the truth, and we know what that is. And so that [negativity] would never penetrate just by me being vulnerable and sharing a song that I didn’t write for anybody else but myself and Blake." The song she's referencing is "Purple Irises" which is another sweet ode to their love.

*Sigh* They sure know how to make me believe that loving someone is a beautiful choice.

August 2024 — Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani's 'Family' Just Got Bigger

NBC reports Blake Shelton added new farming equipment to he and Gwen's repertoire on August 20, but a source believes the "Sweet Escape" singer isn't a fan of her husband's excitement about "hunting season," (via Instagram).

"They agreed to disagree about his hunting back when they first got together, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy thing for Gwen to handle," the source told Life & Style. The two continue to go back-and-forth on this, but it doesn't seem like Blake's budging anytime soon.

November 2024 — Gwen Stefani Almost Walked Away From Blake Shelton

This relationship almost didn't reach a sweet point, according to Gwen Stefani. Since they were dealing with a lot when they decided to date, the "Sweet Escape" singer was ready to leave Blake in the dust. "We had just met, and it was chaos. Both of our lives were in complete turmoil, all over the ground. Nothing could save us at that point," she remembered (via PEOPLE). "There was a point where I was like, 'I can't even talk to you. This is insane. I already have enough problems. This is not happening anymore. We're not going to text or nothing.'"

The key to winning her over was speaking to her through music. "I think he really wanted to impress me, because he doesn't really write songs as much as he used to. And I love writing songs. That's everything to me...That's where I get my fulfillment," she says.

His ability to start writing "Go Ahead and Break My Heart" to send to her became one of the couples first completed songs together. "He sent it to me, and it was a half-written song. He was like, 'Help me finish this.' So I wrote him the verse back — the second verse on the song — and it's just over text," she said."

How do you feel about Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton's relationship? Check out the latest on John Legend and Chrissy Teigen's too!

This post has been updated.

Finding gifts for the person you're closest to can be the absolute hardest thing to do, especially when there are so many things that would make great gifts for him. If you're shopping for the main man in your life this season – whether you call him your dad, husband, fiancé, boyfriend, partner, or your preferred pet names – of course you want to find a gift that shows him just how much he means to you. Just remember that the key to the perfect gift is simply that it comes from you. These stunning gift ideas will help you say "this made me think of you."

Our 50 favorite gifts for men for 2024:

Target

Epson EpiqVision Mini EF22 Portable Smart Laser Projector

Make movie nights even more epic with this mini portable projector. The Dolby audio sound is AMAZING and the full HDR picture quality is perfect, plus you can project as big as a 150-inch screen! Watch his (and your) favorite movies, shows, sporting events, Oscars?, gaming, and more anywhere, indoors and out. It comes with a Google TV setup with access to more 10,000 apps, including favorites like Netflix and Prime. It's super simple to set up and a great way to bring in a screen wherever you want. No additional supplies needed! Also it comes in a bunch of cool colors. This is a splurge gift that's totally worth it and will make cozy nights at home even cozier. We love it!

Amazon

RVCA Commonwealth Snapback

This flat-brimmed baseball cap replaces those older, worn-out styles you know your man has been hoarding. The green corduroy fabric on this gift-worthy hat will grace his head perfectly for every season!

Apple Watch SE

Get him motivated to reach his fitness goals with features like fitness tracking and heart rate monitoring, plus he can send a text, take a call, listen to his favorite music and podcasts. You can customize the watch faces and bands to his liking too. It's the perfect gift for the active guy!

Amazon

Every Man Jack Mens Amber + Sandalwood Body Set

This gift set is filled with an ideal assortment of gifts for him. From body wash, shampoo, deodorant, and face wash, your man will have everything he needs to feel fresh – plus, having a good-smelling guy around is the real gift for you that keeps on giving.

Nike

Nike Air VaporMax Flyknit

Be his biggest cheerleader as he reaches his 2025 fitness goals in these best-selling Nikes, made with sustainable materials. We are loving this vintage green.

Target

VANKYO Leisure D30T Mini Wi-Fi Projector

Bring the cinema home to your movie buff with a sleek projector setup for your own private screenings and viewing parties!

Sunswell

Sunswell The R&R Pant

Made from recycled materials for rigorous wear, the Sunswell R&R pants are bound to be a staple in your man's year-round wardrobe.

Amazon

Cosori Pour Over Coffee Maker

This sturdy coffee maker will be a total hit for the caffeine-loving guy in your life. The layered stainless steel filter allows for a rich, creamy flavor in every sip, plus the decanter is holds a whole 34 ounces of brewed coffee to help him wake up!

Amazon

Stanley Stainless Steel Shot Glass and Flask Gift Set

This durable drinking set complete with a flask and shot glasses will be his new BFF for sharing on camping, fishing, or hunting trips. Top it all off with a brand-new bottle of whiskey to complete the gift for him.

Creem

Creem Magazine Subscription

For the music-loving man in your life, a subscription to Creem (the coolest rock 'n' roll mag) will really impress. The publication's covered plenty of classic names in the industry – as well as newer bands – so he's sure to soak up plenty of new knowledge about the scene. There's a handful of annual subscription tiers for the mag starting at just $79.

Amazon

Thermajohn Thermal Shirt

Whether he's hitting the slopes or is braving the cold winter weather to run errands with you, this warm thermal base layer tee will swarm his upper half in comfort, flexibly moving with his each and every move.

Herschel

Herschel Little America Backpack Pro

For his outdoor adventures or social gatherings, outfit him with a cool backpack (literally, this one is insulated) that he can fill with his favorite snacks and beverages.

Ties

Ties The Scientist Sock Pack

Whether it's a stocking stuffer or a smaller gift, a playful set of socks is both practical and personal.

Tie Bar

Tie Bar Navy Travel Tie Storage Case

This tie storage case means business, just like your man does. If he travels for work often, he'll appreciate that you're looking out for his formal-wear.

Amazon

Marlowe. Coffee Bar Soap

This manly bar soap is infused with coffee beans and cocoa butter butter that help tackle even the worst bouts of sweat and body odor. It's definitely long-lasting, too, so he can smell lovely all night long.

Taylor Stitch

Taylor Stitch The Workhorse Jacket

This jacket will hug his bod in the most stylish way, all while keeping him comfy throughout the season's cold weather.

Williams Sonoma

Breville Precision Brewer 12-Cup Drip Coffee Maker with Glass Carafe

For the early risers and coffee-obsessed, a programmable coffee maker means he can wake up to the smell of coffee every day (and no longer has to use wasteful pods for an instant brew).

Mark & Graham

Mark & Graham Italian Leather Desk Set

Whether he's going to work, outfitting a permanent at-home office, or heading back to school, a personalized desk set like this luxe leather one will please the most studious types of guys.

Nordstrom

Ugg Beckett Fleece Robe

If your man loves a cozy night in just as much as you do, a soft robe to lounge around in will make the ultimate gift for him.

Mejuri

Mejuri Flat Curb Chain Necklace

Once you've reached long-term status with your guy, gift him a signature gold chain he can flex for years to come.

Pangaia

Pangaia 365 Heavyweight Hoodie

For the hoodie-obsessed, Pangaia's signature sustainable sweatshirts (and sweatsuits!) are best-in-class.

Etsy

Custom Soundwave Art Print

From a first dance song to the one you always blast together in the car, every guy has their favorite tune. Memorialize it for your music-loving man with this custom art print.

DUER

DUER Performance Relaxed Taper Denim Jeans

A good quality, fresh pair of denim is gonna set him (and his style) so right for the new year. These jeans feature a stretchy fabric that'll allow wear for practically any occasion.

Mark & Graham

Mark & Graham Leather Poker Set

Outfit his next game night with a poker set that's sure to impress and easy to bring on the go for weekend trips and group hangs.

New Balance

New Balance 9060 Sneaker

Secure your status as the greatest of all time by copping him that stylish pair of sneakers he's been eyeing.

Amazon

Polaroid Now 2nd Generation I-Type Instant Camera + Film Bundle

If your man is into photography and all things nostalgia, consider surprising him with a retro Polaroid camera set. We bet you'll be his favorite muse.

Manly Bands

Manly Bands The Forged Ring

This sleek wedding band stands up to tough, hands-on jobs with a carbon fiber construction, unlike traditional rings. The inner part is actually made from a Jack Daniel's whiskey barrel, making the perfect personalized touch for gifting the guy who loves a drink.

Uncommon Goods

New York Times Custom Football Book

This isn't just any coffee table book, but one that true sports buffs will actually want to devour – with clippings from his team's history, glory days, and highlights.

Still trying to figure out the perfect gifts for him? Subscribe to our email newsletter for more gift guides!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others and earn commissions, but we always offer genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated. Former reporting by Kaitlyn Ingram and Lauren Black.

Just how expensive is it to have a baby in 2024? One woman sharing her experience on social media has sparked a much-needed conversation about financial transparency when it comes to starting (or growing) a family.

Josephine Anderson, who posted a video on her Instagram @fosterthevalley, outlined the costs of her uncomplicated vaginal birth, and TBH, it was shocking.

The financial breakdown of her experience (with Cigna for insurance):

  • Routine office visits (including 2 ultrasounds): $1,266
  • Labs: $3,440.81
  • NIPT genetic testing: $15,319.36
  • Anatomy scan: $1,270
  • RhoGam: $360
  • Hospital for mom: $23,722.10
  • Hospital for baby: $7,402.80
  • OBGYN for delivery: $5,000
  • Epidural: $5,720
  • Breastfeeding support: $2,589.78
  • Pediatrician: $209
That all racks up to a whopping total of $66,299.85. After insurance was factored in (her deductible was $3,000 while her max out-of-pocket for in-network expenses was $11,000), the total cost for her uncomplicated vaginal birth was $4,788.98. Forbes Advisor reports the average cost of having a baby in 2024 is $2,854.

Instagram

Josephine’s video warranted thousands of comments, most of which were appalled by the costs of her experience:

“This needs to be shared in SexEd classes,” one commenter wrote.

“The US medical system is BROKEN,” another said.

“And people are still confused why more women are choosing to remain child free… we literally can’t afford it,” another user commented.

Mart Production / PEXELS

Brit + Co spoke with Wendy Colson RN, IBCLC and CEO/Founder of BOOBIE Superfoods to gauge if Josephine’s costs were typical for the care she received. Colson has significant insight into how insurance works not only from an employer’s perspective, but from personal experience as a patient with breast cancer.

“The $4,788.98 net amount she mentions is realistic given that her deductible was $3,000. If she had chosen a plan with a $1,000 deductible – which is a common ceiling for good coverage – the same scenario would have cost her around $2,789,” Colson said. “The video highlights the importance of understanding what you're getting with an insurance plan, especially when you anticipate major life events like childbirth.”

Sarah Chai / PEXELS

Colson primarily attributes unanticipated costs for medical care (like in Josephine’s case) to patients that choose their insurance plans with, well, no real plan.

“Many [people] opt for the [plan] with the lowest paycheck deductions without fully evaluating the benefits,” Colson said.

There’s often a tradeoff between paying less per paycheck and receiving your desired benefits: for example, if you elect to contribute less money towards your insurance per paycheck, you may end up paying more out of pocket for things like doctor’s office visits and prescriptions.

“Making an informed choice is key to saving money in the long run,” Colson continued. “In short, it's crucial to consider both the immediate costs (like paycheck deductions) and the potential future costs (like deductibles and copays) when choosing an insurance plan.”

Anna Shvets / PEXELS

Another major cost Josephine mentions in her video was 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave, which cost her a total of $18,000 (in lost income).

Per the passing of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) in 1993, moms have a legal right to up to 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave. The U.S. Department of Labor notes that the act was designed to help employees balance their work and family responsibilities, accommodate the legitimate interests of employers, and promote equal employment opportunity for men and women.

Matilda Wormwood / PEXELS

It all sounds great until you realize the time off is indeed unpaid, which doesn't really aid in the amount of money parents end up owing after all is said and done in the pregnancy and childbirth processes.

Only 13 states plus the District of Columbia offer paid maternity leave. When you compare the United States’ laws to that of other industrialized nations, they don’t exactly measure up.

Colson says Sweden’s maternity leave policy is “one of the most generous,” offering 390 days of paid parental leave (shared between parents) and 80% of wages covered for a significant portion of the leave. In Germany, mothers are entitled to 14 weeks of maternity leave plus a tax-free, income-based allowance straight from their insurance provider.

Jonathan Borba / PEXELS

Though it’s likely that US laws will never be that generous in terms of paid maternity leave, there are a few things you can do to make the blow of medical costs hurt a little less, says Colson.

“My advice is to be your own advocate,” she says. “If you’re planning to have a baby, start by understanding what your state provides in terms of paid leave to avoid surprises after delivery.”

To keep the cost of having your baby (if you’re planning to have one) transparent and free of surprises, Colson recommends:

  • Asking your physician’s office for a detailed breakdown of insurance billing codes, including:
    • Office visits
    • Lab work
    • Epidural (and the anesthesiologist’s separate fee)
    • Hospital admissions
    • Specialist consultations during admission
    • Optional procedures like circumcision, if desired
  • Email the insurance billing codes to your insurance provider, who can help calculate your out-of-pocket costs and deductible

“Having a baby is priceless,” Colson says. “By planning ahead – understanding your insurance options, healthcare costs, and available benefits – you can ensure peace of mind and focus on what truly matters: your growing family.”

Subscribe to our newsletter for more stories!

Since I just harped on all the dreary, outdated shoe trends for 2025, it's only fair I give you all the options you should wear in the new year! I also heard you when you said to let people wear what they want... Since I try to be a girl's girl, I want to give you as many exciting shoe trends that'll align with your personal style as well.

Instead of solely relying on my own wits this time, I reached out to Stitch Fix stylish Jessica Sockel; fashion expert and principal of The Curio, Maggie Gillette Sowislo; personal stylist Sarah Brandt of Shop the City; and Rusty Hall, CEO of Mephisto USA. Here's what stylists and fashion experts have to say about all the best shoe trends for 2025!

Scroll for all the 2025 shoe trends your feet — and outfits — will love!

Steve Madden

1. 'Mocha Mousse' Kitten Heel Boots

Don't fight it — this style is back and better than ever. "We have all seen that Pantone has named 'Mocha Mousse' [color of the year], cementing that brown has surpassed black as the go-to neutral," Brandt muses. As for why she believes kitten heels boots will be a popular style in 2025, she believes it's a "super wearable" choice "for the colder weather months."

Check 'em out:Steve Madden Stasia Taupe Suade Kitten Heel Boots

Thursday Boots

2. Elevated loafers and flats on par with 'Quiet Luxury'

Did you really think we were done with quiet luxury? This is a trend that "focuses on classic design and high quality materials," according to Hall. After the success of, well, Succession, people aren't ready to let this trend go — and I don't blame them! Hall says, "We’re seeing a movement away from runway and status brands of the past several years, and instead, consumers have been drawn toward the echo of vintage style."

Hall also feels like people are looking to add comfort instead of "overabundance" to their wardrobes. He explained that after the pandemic, "comfort has prevailed as a predominant factor in shopping for footwear." You'll want to steer clear of gaudy designs with this shoe trend, instead reaching for "shoes with premium construction and materials" that don't have "noisy logos."

If you want a little bit of height, Sockel says "chunky loafers became a go-to for achieving the 'Prep School' aesthetic." She also saw that "ballet flats were a top request, with 38% of shoppers seeking ways to style them."

Check 'em out:Thursday Boots Penny Loafers

Dolce Vita

3. Low profile sneakers

This year saw the rise of the 'errand' or everyday sneaker. Hall says, "In contrast to the chunky sneaker silhouette, low-profile sneakers have been trending in 2024, and expect to see that trend continue in 2025."He adds that they're "defined by the upper confirming closely to the foot and lack of support around the ankle" making them "exceptionally versatile".

Both he and Brandt agree that the "iconic Adidas Sambas" are the driving force behind this with the latter adding, "But as they can be hard to come by, I’m seeing some alternate sneakers take the stage — particularly the Adidas SL72, and Onitsuka Tigers, especially the Mexico 66s."

If you need inspo for how to style them! Hall has a couple of tips because "the timeless low-profile look isn't going anywhere." He feels pairing them with "bell bottoms or flare-legged jeans" because they "create a long, clean line."

Check 'em out:Dolce Vita Notice Stitch Sneakers

Dolce Vita

4. Colorful shoes

The world already feels like a mess sometimes — why not be bold and have fun with your outfits?! While you continue leaning into the red and burgundy shades that continued to trend this year, Hall feels that "turquoise, fuchsia, and yellow tones will brighten up this spring from the past couple of seasons of neutrals."

Another outfit tip he has is to "opt for white and soft ecru shades in the rest of the outfit" as this will "help these bold colors speak for themselves."

Check 'em out:Dolce Vita Kanika Mid Heels

Net-a-Porter

5. T-Strap Shoes

If you're still watching The Great Gatsby, you may be familiar with what Gillette Sowislo calls the "new shoe profile." In other words, she feels they're "an update on the Mary Jane trend we've been seeing for a few seasons."

We couldn't get enough of the revival of this that trend so it's going to be exciting to see you and other shoppers rock them with your 2025 outfits. Honestly, Sowislo is sure that "this versatile design can be found in flats, heels, and wedges."

Check 'em out:Manolo Blahnik Assala 105 Leather Point-Toe Pumps

Dansko

6. Wooden Platform Shoes

Wooden platform shoes are having their comeback moment; more notably clogs. Sowislo says, "Since Chloe designer Chemena Kamali decked out the front row of her show in matching wood-bottomed platform sandals, the trend for boho-inspired shoes has risen. These can look like the playful platforms she debuted or be a more practical pair of everyday clogs."

Sockel added, "Looking ahead, we [Stitch Fix] predict a shift toward heeled shoes—think chic booties, clogs, and sandals—that pair seamlessly with oversized jeans and a simple tee for an effortlessly polished Easy Street look."

Check 'em out:Dansko Professional Clogs

Subscribe to our newsletter for more 2025 style inspo!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Architecture Digest's Open Door video series is a juicy peek inside the homes of celebs — and we’re a bit obsessed. From Emma Roberts' cozy, book-filled retreat to Kendall Jenner's serene and chic abode, these tours aren’t just about stunning interiors; they also give us a rare glimpse into their at-home personalities. Live with Kelly and Mark hosts Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos’ recent upper East Side tour had me gushing, but also with a few pauses, like huh? Their five-story home felt like a love letter to their relationship as much as an example of their impeccable style. Here are 10 surprising moments from their beautiful AD house tour!

Scroll down to see all the surprising moments from Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos' house tour!

Eyeball Art

Architectural Digest | Art by Marc Quinn

The series of painted photographs by artist Marc Quinn outside Kelly and Mark's bedrooms were one of the bigger surprises. They feature a close-up and enlarged image of their three kids' eyeballs. "They don't live here anymore, but it still feels like they're still with us," says Mark. I'm not an empty nester yet, but I can't tell if he's joking here or not. "I can stare at my kids' eyes forever," adds Kelly. SAME.

TVs Behind Mirrors

Architectural Digest

As someone who really dislikes the look of TVs in any room except a room dedicated to bingeing, I love all of the hidden TVs in their bedroom (shown above), living room, and Mark's man cave.

Escargot Toothpicks

Architectural Digest

This actually has a sweet story behind it, and as an escargot/snail lover, this gift is actually pretty cute. The home was designed with AD100 Hall of Fame interior designer William Sofield, known for his modern luxury style, and he gifted this to them because their son loved escargot, surprisingly at age 9 (at the same time when Sofield was designing the home).

The Dark Cave (on The Fifth Floor)

Architectural Digest

The first surprise moment was Mark's Bar 5, which is where the tour begins. The dark interior was a bit of a surprise until you see the rest of the house in its luxe and neutral palette. It's called Bar 5, Mark notes, because it's on the fifth floor of their forever home, so basically the opposite of a man cave!

They Share A Bathroom!

Architectural Digest

Few couples would choose to share a bathroom and closet if they could afford a place with more than one. That was one of the more endearing parts of their tour. This couple still really loves each other and it's SO cute to see. Even with kids out of the house, they choose to share a bathroom and closet because it brings them closer. #relationshipgoals!

I Want To Be Where People Aren't Pillow

Architectural Digest

Is Kelly Ripa actually an introvert? She spends her time writing at the desk in their bedroom and a split second reveals this cheeky needlepoint pillow. I love their sense of a humor, which really shines through in this video.

Lazy Susan Dining Table

Architectural Digest

I have a soft spot for round dining tables — I feel like they naturally encourage everyone to be part of the conversation. For Kelly and Mark, their dining table has a special feature: it actually turns 360 degrees like a Lazy Susan. Amazing!

Translucent Cabinetry

Architectural Digest

Kelly notes that their translucent cabinetry keeps them honest and forces them to be organized. When Mark talks about the decision-making that went around cabinet pulls, I felt SO seen. Every decision in my home came pretty easily except choosing the cabinet pulls! It felt ridiculous, but I labored over this major (minor?) renovation choice.

The Living Room Trap Door

Architectural Digest

Finally, the hilarious comment from Mark about trapping guests in the living room with a sliding door had me LOL. They are truly adorable and silly. Take a peek inside this totally fun and heart-tugging tour!

Watch Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos' Full House Tour Here!

www.youtube.com

- YouTube

Subscribe to our newsletter for more celeb news and home decor inspo!