6 Ways to Celebrate the Holidays With Someone Who Doesn’t Want Gifts

Materials + Tools:

• 1 roll of tin foil
• 2 packages of crescent rolls
• 1 egg (for egg wash before cornucopia goes into the oven), optional

Instructions:

Start by sculpting tin foil into the shape of a cornucopia (it looks like a cone with an upturned tail). Pro tip: Lightly pack tin foil so it's easier to remove later from your baked cornucopia. Crescent rolls should be buttery enough that this shouldn't be difficult.

1. Choose your battles ahead of time.

You're not going to change everyone's opinion about all of the things over the course of a meal and a football game. You might want to show up ready for a duel of words with your Facebook-meme-king cousin, but that's just going to put your opinionated family member on the offensive from the moment you walk in. Decide ahead of time if there's one issue that you really cannot keep your mouth shut about if it comes up, and have two or three talking points ready that clarify your position on that topic. If your hot button does get pushed, your talking points will help you keep from making things personal.

2. Confer with the host.

If you feel comfortable with the person that's organizing or hosting Thanksgiving, speak to him or her in advance about how you can be on Team Keep the Peace. Most people aren't keen on a political brouhaha breaking out around their dinner table, so they'll probably be relieved to hear that you're on board and willing to help make the day go smoothly for everyone. Brainstorm some ideas about seating arrangements or wholesome activities to fill the idle family time that can lead to trading barbs.

3. Make it a game.

Caitlin Bergstein, a Boston-based matchmaker and relationship expert for Three Day Rule, suggests a fun twist on the swear jar concept. “If your family is up for the challenge, you can even make it a game. Each time someone mentions something political, they have to put a dollar in a jar (or take a drink, depending on how your family celebrates the holiday). At the end of the night, that cash can be put aside for the next family get together!"

4. Have a moment of silence.

Sometimes the idea of a quiet table can be intimidating (all those chewing noises!), but encouraging a moment of reflection among your holiday guests can actually be transformative. Whether you observe several seconds of silence in honor of relatives you've lost, as a way to silently acknowledge your individual blessings, or as an act of prayer or meditation, you've hopefully brought the room back to focus on each other's company and the gift that it is to be together.

5. Be an active listener.

If your one doggedlypersistent aunt can't let go of her obsession with the latest political scandal, reconsider what she's actually trying to tell you. Chances are, it's not just about what she saw on the news. “Assume that your polarizing relative actually probably just wants to connect, feel respected, and reduce their own anxiety about holiday gatherings, and interpret even difficult behavior as such," advises Mary Fisher, a Salt Lake City psychotherapist who specializes in family relationships. “Express the desire to connect while redirecting the conversation," Fisher recommends. Emphasize the fact that you're interested in protecting the time your family spends together. That can help soften the blow when you ask to instead hear them share a family memory or talk about a hobby you both share.

6. Disengage.

Remember that if angry words or offensive language start flying at you across the sweet potato pie, you don't have to respond. Have a script in mind to use, something like, “While I hear where you're coming from, I don't share your opinion, and I'm done talking about it today." Convey the message that you're quite clear on the matter being discussed, and you're not going to take the bait. You may have to repeat yourself several times, or you may choose to remain silent until things cool down around you. Either one is okay.

7. Duck out early.

If you feel like you have to retreat from the situation entirely, do it. One of the best things about being an adult is leaving when you want to leave. You don't have to subject yourself, your spouse, or your family to any kind of dialogue that is insulting, bigoted, or aggressive. Fisher shares these words of advice: “While we might think that the holidays are the time to resolve differences, they are actually the time to affirm and nurture connection, which can be an uphill battle with politically polarizing relatives." If you don't feel like a connection is being nurtured and the environment is not good for you to be in, say goodbye and make a break for it.

Our Interviews With 'Sweethearts' Stars Kiernan Shipka, Nico Hiraga, & Caleb Hearon And Writer Jordan Weiss

Sweethearts might be the ultimate cozy holiday season watch, but its cast and crew can't stop gushing about cozy classics like When Harry Met Sally and Harry Potter. ("Oh, my childhood," Kiernan Shipka says with a nostalgic edge to her voice. "All the meals, the dining hall." This, too, is what I envy the most about the Hogwarts lifestyle).

Writer-director Jordan Wiess declares herself a When Harry Met Sally superfan and says the movie "always makes me feel [good]. The sweaters and the style, and it always reminds me of the fall...ObviouslyThe Holiday is one of my favorite Nancy Meyers movies that always have to watch in December. And then a re-watch of Gilmore Girls is mandatory for the fall."

What do all of these titles have in common? Memorable relationships and oh-so-cozy backdrops. And in Sweethearts (on Max November 28), two best friends decide to break up with their high school sweethearts over Thanksgiving break, and wind up running into all their old friends during their mission. So, naturally, I have to ask for their best advice for returning home for the holidays!

"I've told people that I've had childhood crushes on that I didn't tell at the time, 'By the way, I had a huge crush on you,'" Kiernan says. "It's so fun to say the thing you've never maybe said to someone that you've always wanted to. I mean, that's fun to me. I would say maybe do that if you can find an old crush that you never expressed your feelings to. Even if it's just for the fun of it."

"I like going back and doing a lot of the old things I grew up doing with the old friends that left the Bay or stayed in the Bay," Nico Hiraga adds. "That's special when you go back and just treat it like no time went by at all, you know, do the same old traditions."

But for Caleb Hearon, it's out with the old and in with the new. "Going and seeing a bunch of people you haven't seen in a while I think, try on something new," he says. "Bring up a new music you're listening to, wear a bold shirt. Just try on something new when you're coming home from college. I remember going back to my small town from college and I was trying out new clothes. I was trying out new phrases. I was testing things out, seeing what people liked and didn't like. They don't know who you are now!"

Clearly, heightened emotions around going back to your hometown is a universal experience, and for Jordan and co-writer Dan Brier, it was important that the storyline fit right in with those classics we all know so well.

"Dan and I had a lot of conversations where we're like, 'Ok, what if you gave Superbad or Booksmart the male-female friendship When Harry Met Sally treatment — but in the shape of one of those raucous buddy comedy night-where-everything-goes-wrong type of movies."

They also pulled from John Hughes titles like Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "where an adventure is unfolding in a really limited span of time. And the characters are having a pretty complete emotional arc happen through this one crazy day or one crazy night."

Sweethearts is full of crazy moments, from house parties to college roommate horror stories, and the chemistry in those scenes is just a reflection of how close the cast and crew got on set, which Jordan equates to being at summer camp. Caleb remembers "laughing so hard that we had to muffle it so you don't ruin sound."

"I really hope people have truly half as much fun watching this movie as we had making it because we had the goofiest happiest set," Jordan adds. "Shout out to Nico who was definitely our onset DJ who had a wireless speaker with him on his cast chair at all times. So the second we would call cut, he was grabbing the speaker, blasting the tunes. I have so many funny videos of Kieran and Nico just dancing it out in the middle of the night because we were shooting mostly all throughout the nights and you gotta find creative ways to keep the energy up at four in the morning."

"One of my favorite parts in the movie is when Ava DeMary (Claire) sings the national anthem and it's only in there for about 15 seconds," she continues. "We need to release the full four-minute performance because it got so unhinged, and also just all of Caleb's faces that he was making at her when she was singing. I have to find out if we are going to cut a blooper reel."

Considering how close the cast got, and Kiernan's track record for starting cast group chats (she's gone viral multiple times for revealing she texts her friends and costars good morning), I'm not surprised to learn she started a Sweethearts cast chat. I am surprised, however, to learn she started at least four!

"It's that thing where we have so many people," she says. "There's like one hero, bigger group chat that I think is like eight people. And I think it's called Via Carrot because it was a play on Via Carota [and] someone was like, 'Oh, I'm gonna get there via carrot.'"

"But then it's that thing of like it's me, Caleb, Me, [Nico], Jordan, and Dan," she continues. "But we all have one group chat where like one person is there or we have a smaller one. So we maybe have five others, and there's just the three of us called Friends Are Life...There's a lot going on. I'm gonna accidentally text the wrong one."

What is the movie Sweethearts about?

Sweethearts Plot

Kiernan Shipka and Nico Hiraga play two best friends who are trying to nagviate friendship, relationships, and adulthood during their first year at college. When they return home for Thanksgiving break, and agree to break up with their high school sweethearts before classes start back up, a chaotic night out ends up putting their friendship to the ultimate test.

​When is Sweethearts coming out?

Sweethearts Release Date

Sweethearts is premiering on Max Thursday, November 28, which also happens to be Thanksgiving! We'll start perfecting our mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberry sauce now.

Who's in the cast of Sweethearts?

Sweethearts Cast

The cast of Sweethearts includes Kiernan Shipka, Nico Hiraga, Caleb Hearon, Tramell Tillman, Ava Demary, Charlie Hall, Joel Kim Booster, and Christine Taylor.