How to Do Your Own Chalk Wedding Signage like a Pro

Molly Griffin
Oct 04, 2015

When dry-erase whiteboards came into classrooms in the ‘90s, it seemed like the end of days for dusty blackboards. But chalk is still a much-loved medium amongst hand-drawers like Valerie McKeehan of Lily & Val. At her shop, Valerie draws chalk messages and designs to create greeting cards, gifts and decor. Now, she’s written The Complete Book of Chalk Lettering: Create and Develop Your Own Style ($20), offering 60 lessons on mastering that squeaky, dusty stick and creating your own pro-level designs. We asked Valerie to offer up some tips on working chalk lettering into your wedding decor, because who doesn’t want to save big bucks on personalized wedding details?

One of the best things about chalk lettering is that you don’t need much to do it. Keep it classic with Valerie’s favorite writing implement, the Crayola Anti-Dust White Chalk ($1/12-pack), or go colorful with Alphacolor Assorted Chalk Sticks ($7/12-pack). Then you just need basic items like a felt eraser, cloth rag and pencil sharpener.

When it comes to liquid chalk pens, Valerie says they’re a great option if you want to make sure your wedding signage doesn’t budge. BUT it also limits how much you can do: “Keep in mind, it will provide a flat look. To achieve shading and texture you’ll need the real dusty thing!”

Decorating Outside the Box

So what are you going to DIY for your wedding? You can’t go wrong with a customized chalkboard welcome sign, says Valerie. “They really set a beautiful first impression for your guests, and then you can use the sign in your home as a keepsake!” She suggests decorating the finished piece with flowers, to soften the harshness of the chalkboard. “For an unexpected chalkboard detail, try using chalk art placemats or chalkboard paper drawn with chalk pens as a table runner.” Psst — make sure to check out the B+C Shop for even more options, like place cards, labels, pennants and even balloons!

Finding Your Font Muse

You definitely want your font choice to match your overall wedding style, so before you start trying to master big, swooping calligraphy, evaluate what message you want to convey. “If you are trying to achieve an elegant, formal vibe, then a sophisticated, calligraphic script would pair nicely,” says Valerie. “If your wedding is more casual, however, then a playful, whimsical style might work well.” Refer back to your invitations or save the dates and look for common font thread that you can stick with. Valerie also recommends studying computer-generated fonts, as consistency in your letter shapes will lead to much better readability.

Aside from the font and message, think about what flair you want to add, like scrolls or flowers. Everything from coffee shop signage to a floral pattern on a vintage dress has inspired Valerie, so keep your eyes peeled for detailing and flourishes that you want to add to your chalk lettering. The Internet is also your friend here, including two of Valerie’s fave lettering Instagrams, @amandaarneill and @designroots.

8 Tips for Perfecting Your Chalk Lettering

Okay, so you’ve decided on your surface, your message, your font and your detailing. Are you ready to chalk? Here are Valerie’s pro tips for getting down and dusty.

1. Season your chalkboard. “Chalkboard ‘seasoning’ sounds fancy, but it’s really very simple. It involves rubbing the side of a piece of chalk over the entire surface of a brand new chalkboard before using it. This helps break in the chalkboard, preventing the chalk from leaving a permanent mark the first time you use it. It also provides a more rustic, muted look as opposed to the flat, black surface of a brand new chalkboard. After the chalk covers the surface, just erase and wipe down with a damp cloth.”

2. Start with a pencil sketch. Remember that practice makes perfect. “It’s tempting to jump right in, but you’ll want to have a plan before chalking.”

3. Sharpen your chalk. If you want to get intricate with your details, you need a finer point. “Use a pencil sharpener with two holes — the larger hole will fit the chalk perfectly. You will be able to create much more detailed letters with a sharp point.”

4. Add guide marks to your chalkboard. Chalking outside the lines can be fun, but when you’re trying to write a welcome sign, it’s best to have some guides. “This ensures the proper placement of all the letters. The worst feeling is designing a board only to realize you have no room left at the bottom! Adding guide marks will make drawing much easier. Simply erase the marks with a cotton swab once you’re done and no one will even know you used them at all.”

5. Use a top-down approach. No more smudging! “When you work from the top of the chalkboard down, it allows you to rest the side of your hand against the chalkboard without bumping or smudging your work. This anchoring will help you draw with more precision.”

6. Take a step back. Instead of trying to get it done in one fell swoop, Valerie suggests taking breaks. “As you’re drawing, it will be helpful to take a step back from your work and view it from a distance. You will immediately be able to see if the design feels unbalanced or if there are any areas that need tweaking.”

7. Practice, practice, practice. “The more you practice, the more you will be able to create a style that is all your own, which will make your wedding chalkboards even more special.” And who knows, maybe you’ll be making chalkboard signs for your friends for years to come.

8. Relax. Valerie says that the most important thing is to enjoy the process. “Chalk art is so forgiving and fun. One of the best things about it is that it erases, and gray smudges give the board some character. Let go of the need for perfection. If you don’t like something you’ve drawn, simply erase and try again.”

Ready to develop your own chalk stylings? Get into the nitty gritty in The Complete Book of Chalk Lettering (it even comes with chalk paper for you to practice on!), and in the meantime, shop Valerie’s own creations in the Lily & Val shop!

Have you used chalk as an art form before (you know, aside from in elementary school)? Share your designs with us in the comments!

(Photos via Valerie McKeehan)

Elizabeth Banks Talks Potential ‘Pitch Perfect 4’

We’re deep in the reboot, prequel, and sequel era. Hunger Games: Sunrise On the Reaping, the One Tree Hill sequel series, Princess Diaries 3, and more have been announced (or in OTH’s case, leaked) — which most fans have greeted with open arms. With lots of chatter about our favorite iconic characters making a comeback, there have been quite a few eyeballs on a certain timeless movie that’s already garnered two sequels: Pitch Perfect. Here's what actress and producer Elizabeth Banks had to say about a potential Pitch Perfect 4.


With the 13th anniversary of the first movie on September 28th, Banks (who’s also the new Chief Creative Officer for luxury canned wine brand Archer Roose) told Brit + Co that the cast knew the film was meant to last. “We knew that we were making something... I don't want to say cult [but] we knew it was truly funny and was truly about underdogs and had great characters — it tends to stick around,” she says. And trust us when we say that ‘aca-scuse’ me still makes its way into daily conversations.

Banks continues that the trilogy is “about coming of age, [which] really speaks to teenagers who feel not seen.” She jokes that, “acapella was for losers,” similar to the "loser" trope that infiltrated successful early 2000’s films like Bring It On, which makes it a project so many viewers are able to connect to. “I will say once I saw the reception to the movie early on, I think we knew that we had something that was very special.” If you don’t know the “Riff Off” by heart, you’re lying.

As rumors continue to swirl about a possible Pitch Perfect 4, we had to get to the bottom of whether or not she’d be up to reprising her role as Gail, the comedic acapella host.

“We're always looking for ways to give the fans something,” she says. “I think we would never want to be accused of a money grab.” And in a time where Hollywood continues to revisit past successes, the industry is no stranger to flop sequels — remember Fantastic Beasts (either movie after the original), Joker: Folie à Deux, Legally Blonde 2, or Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny?

And while the Pitch Perfect cast would love to make a fourth film in theory, it would need to be just right. “It's okay that it just lives and is its thing. I love that people want it, but I want to make sure that it delivers,” Banks tells Brit + Co. “There [are] three great movies, and we know these characters inside and out. If the idea isn't amazing, I don't want the audience to be disappointed.”

The Cocaine Bear star added that she is always trying to make “a deposit on the brand” and “never wants to make a withdrawal” — meaning that the franchise is continually so highly-praised that there’s no need to take away from it unnecessarily.

Universal Pictures

Banks jokes that fans “just want the same thing again” (AKA the nostalgia and comedy coming from the original movie). Her former costar, Anna Kendrick, recently told People that she “would love” to work on a Pitch Perfect set again, but believes that “Rebel Wilson is really like the steam engine of everything.” So it seems to be a never say never situation, if you can aca-believe it.

What would you want to see in Pitch Perfect 4?! Let us know on Facebook.

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20 Thoughtful Handmade Gifts That'll Wow Your Loved Ones

Brand-new gift sets, foodie gifts, beauty gifts, and the like are sure to bring joy this year, but if you're planning to give something with a personal twist, handmade gifts are *the* way to go. The possibilities are truly endless when you employ your creativity and craft items that your gift recipients have maybe seen (or received) before – hats, cards, coasters, picture holders, and more await.

Check out these entirely homemade gifts that will spark your next holiday idea! Some components of these handmade gifts can even be thrifted, saving you some cash along the way.

Anete Lusina / PEXELS

1. Start simple and make them a personalized card.

Nothing communicates your love, time, and effort behind a gift more than personalized cards. Even if you can’t DIY the gift itself, having a handmade card (with a thoughtful message inside) as a prelude to the unwrapping ritual will touch everyone’s heart. Make sure to craft yours on some hardy cardstock so they feel *extra* special. Peep some of these stellar holiday card ideas for inspiration!

@miascozycorner i inadvertently seem to have to fallen into a purple theme?? #christmascrafts#diychristmasdecor#diychristmasornaments#claycreations#tiktokdiy#christmas♬ original sound - mia 🍒

2. Sculpt some cutie gift toppers.

Handmade gift wrapping elements will also step up your holiday game. These darling little gift toppers that @miascozycorner made out of polymer clay are sure to inspire your own designs! Decorate the shapes you make with paint pens and coat them in Liquitex for durability, then attach them to your gift box or bag using some cute ribbon or yarn.

Riley Williams

3. Use air-dry clay to make picture holders.

Clay is your BFF for making handmade gifts. This idea from @rileyrosestudio lets your giftee display pictures, memories, cards, or even recipe cards in the form of their favorite food! Go for a trendier take by sculpting an olive or tomato out of air-dry clay, or opt to craft something as intricate as a burger or pizza slice – no matter what shape it is, they’re sure to love it. Riley usesgesso to prime her air-dry clay pieces, then an acrylic sealant to make sure those lovely designs stay put.

Meredith Holser

4. Make an orange garland for them.

A dried orange garland takes an entire day (and sometimes more) to make, so your recipient should definitely feel special knowing you put hours of love into this handmade gift. Though they look intricate, you only need to follow a few steps (and have few materials: orange slices, twine, and a thick yarn needle) to achieve the cozy garland. Luckily, there are tons of citrus garland tutorials on social media to assist in your creation. B+C Creative Assistant, Meredith, tied cutie little pink ribbon bows on her homemade garland.

Krissy Derrick

5. Craft a candle holder using clay.

You could use a pottery kitlike these convenient ones to make anything, really, but this wavy candelabra from @modeletto.store will make one of the most unique handmade gifts! Don’t forget to *also* gift somecandlesticks alongside it.

Mariam Antadze / PEXELS

6. Make coasters out of air-dry clay and gift them alongside thrifted glassware.

To make some handmade coasters, roll out some air-dry clay, let it dry, and coat it with gesso before you get to painting! The canvas is yours with this gift idea, but here are a few concepts to get the creative juices flowing: smiley faces, rainbows, spirals, initials, and fruits or vegetables. Ensure that your hard work stays in place with a sealant that’ll repel moisture. Some thrifted glassware pieces to give alongside your handmade coasters would be the absolute cherry on top!

Meredith Holser

7. Create a collage out of old magazines.

Magazines are really not hard to come by, and if you're looking for a sustainable gift, you can find some especially unique ones at re-sell bookstores or thrift stores to make your own collage. Some of the best ones to start with are Vogue and National Geographic. There are a lot of different techniques and themes you could run with, so we recommend doing some visual research on Pinterest beforehand to nail down your collage's concept. Maybe it's full of imagery that reminds you of your relationship, or a jumble of words that form a sweet poem – it's really up to you! Just have glue, an X-Acto knife, and a cutting board on-hand for the process. Complete this artsy handmade gift by signing your work and framing the collage in a nifty frame.

Meredith Holser

8. Thread a handmade necklace using thrifted or secondhand beads.

Got a necklace you don’t love? Deconstruct that baby using small wire cutters or scissors so that you can use the leftover beads and charms to make something entirely new! If you don’t have them on-hand already, you will need some beading cord, bead clamps, jump rings, clasps, and pliers.

Brit + Co

9. DIY your very own body care line.

Making your own body scrubs or balt salts is *a lot* easier than you’d think. Some recipes only call for ingredients you’d find in your kitchen! Make a range of self-care products at home, then package them up in thrifted jars with ribbon and a handmade tag to really impress.

Ron Lach / PEXELS

10. Repurpose cans and tins by pouring candles into them.

Fish tin candles are in, but you can really use any vessel to pour your own candles in. All you need is some candle wax, wicks, and a scent of your choice to create something super unique! Try your first handmade candle with an empty, clean tinned fish tin, then get adventurous with soda cans or crushed tomato cans to bring out that Tomato Girl energy for your gift recipient.

Karolina Grabowska / PEXELS

11. Make a batch of jam.

If foodie gifts are their thing, then there’s no better item to give than, well, food! We have an amazingly tasty fig jamrecipe, but you can take the reins on what fruity flavor you’ll whip up. This is a convenient handmade gift, too, because the result won’t go bad or spoil before the big day.

Karolina Grabowska / PEXELS

12. Make a batch of spice mix.

In the same vein of shelf-stable foodie-snacky gifts, spice mixes are always a good idea, and really easy to make at home. Mix together some cajun seasoning, all-purpose seasoning, ranch, or everything bagel seasoning in no time before packing it up in small thrifted jars to gift!

Roman Odinstov / PEXELS

13. Make a batch of chili oil.

Chili oil is very buzzy at the moment, but instead of dropping a bag on a single jar, make your own at home to yield a few! Our recipe uses neutral oil, star anise, cinnamon stick, bay leaves, Sichuan peppercorns, salt, chili flakes, garlic and soy sauce.It only takes a moment to make, but you’ll want the mixture to sit for a week or so, that way the nuanced flavors can all sink in. You could even gift a few recipe cards (like these delectable feta fried eggs) alongside a jar, since chili oil is exceptionally yummy on a ton of dishes.

Anete Lusina / PEXELS

14. Knit or crochet a hat, scarf, or another garment you know they’d like.

Having knitting and/or crochet skills is invaluable when it comes to gifting season. You can easily find patterns online for creating beanies, blankets, scarves, leg warmers, balaclavas, mittens, and more, so your giftee can stay stylishly warm beyond the holidays in a bespoke garment that *you* made!

Damir / PEXELS

15. Make magnets out of air-dry clay for their fridge.

Again, air-dry clay rules the world of handmade gifts. For a smaller project, make some fridge decorations by painting on air-dry clay shapes. You can make hearts, stars, foods, faces, animals, and more! To make your designs magnetized, super glue some small magnet tabs on the back of them.

小龙 魏 / PEXELS

16. Paint a glass bottle with your own design to gift a plant cutting.

You can easily thrift a glass vessel (or use one you already have), paint a unique design on it using glass paint, then fill it with a little bit of water to gift a small plant cutting! This way, you’re giving them a stylish home decor piece along with a heirloom piece of nature that they’ll admire every day as it grows.

Brit + Co

17. DIY an ornament (or a few) for them.

Tree ornaments are 100% on-theme for the holidays, so if you feel a little lost on what to gift, try DIY-ing some ornaments of varying styles! We have some DIYs for punnyones and minimalistones, but there are also a ton of other tutorials on social media that can guide you in the direction you want to take.

Mati Mango / PEXELS

18. Burn a CD full of tracks they’d like.

It may seem a little old-school now, but the gift idea of burning a CD will appeal to every gift recipient that’s old enough to remember portable CD players. They can play it in their car or through their at-home speaker system to jam out. Just grab a pack of blank CDs that come with covers, and let the nostalgic process take you away.

In addition to making your own playlist to gift, you should definitely consider designing an album cover and tracklist for that personalized touch – platforms like Canva are a great option for doing this. The music-lover in your life will surely appreciate the time you took to craft each and every detail of the CD – and maybe they’ll even discover some new tunes along the way!

Brit + Co

19. Bake them a big batch of cookies.

You just can’t go wrong with sweets during the holidays! Whatever form they come in – vegan, gluten-free, paleo – cookies are sure to satisfy your giftee. We have a ton of recipes you could check out (I highly recommend the Taylor Swift chai cookies), but if you already have a method to your madness, whip up whatever dessert recipe you have in mind. Just make sure they’re fairly fresh when you hand them over.

If you don’t have a neat cookie tin on-hand, run to your nearest thrift store. It’s guaranteed that you’ll find a cute one to house your cookies!

Brit + Co

20. Decorate a plant pot with pops of color.

If your gift recipient has a green thumb, it’s not a bad idea to gift them a few plant-related things. Luckily, handmade gifts have a stake in this – just grab a terracotta pot (you can easily thrift one or find one for cheap at the dollar store) and some chalk pens, then decorate the exterior however you like.

To get some ideas flowing, you could include illustrated motifs of your relationship with this person, write their name out in bubble letters, or just doodle random designs. Matching their interior design aesthetic is definitely recommended.

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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

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Maisy Stella & Megan Park On Working With Aubrey Plaza And The Justin Bieber Of It All

If there's one movie that will make you consider the advice you'd give your younger self, it's My Old Ass. The movie, streaming on Prime Video November 7, follows Elliot (Maisy Stella), who comes face-to-face with an older version of herself (Aubrey Plaza) during a mushroom trip. Throughout their time together, they share heartfelt advice, and, apparently, a lot of laughter.

"I feel like we absolutely [laughed while filming], but honestly the breaks worked for the scene," Maisy Stella tells Brit + Co's Chloe Williams. "So I feel like even when we're laughing, it's like not technically like, 'Oh cut, we have to go again.' You just keep going. But I think there was some real genuine laughter shared between between us two."

Maisy Stella And Megan Park Loved Working With Aubrey Plaza

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"I just remember there was a YouTube video of her that you showed me," says director Megan Park. "I don't know which one it was, but...this is, I think, where the kiss idea of the touching the ass [the scene that mentions the movie's title] came in because you were like 'God, she's so hot.'"

"Working with Aubrey was truly the coolest thing I'll ever get to do," Maisy adds. "I'm such a huge fan of her and have been forever. And so when I found out it was her doing it, I think I did a standing backflip."

Even though Aubrey Plaza was only on set for a week or two, she was able to form a real connection with Maisy, which is the mark of "the most genius actors" for Megan. "They didn't have a lot of time together, but they were so good at the time they did have together, just really being open and vulnerable and building that chemistry really quickly," she says. "Maisy has an older sister, Aubrey has younger sisters. So there was a kind of a natural dynamic that they fell into and you have really similar energies and similar senses of humor that just were such a great match."

During their conversation, Aubrey Plaza's Elliot gives Maisy Stella some serious life advice, and the movie really got Maisy and Megan to consider what advice they would give their younger selves. (They both adamantly express they don't want to know the future).

"Just to be a little more like alert and more present," Maisy says. "I think as a kid, I was like super unaware and in a way that was like beautiful but also like, I wasn't really seeing, I was kind of just looking around. Honestly I would tell my younger self what Aubrey told [my] Elliott in the movie."

"The message of the movie and that time goes by so quickly — it's not forever, everything changes all the time," Megan says. "Just a gentle reminder. But also I think it would be beautiful to go back and meet your younger self. That's such a therapeutic thing and just be reminded of the pace of your life back then."

"Not to be a monster, but I would definitely be like 'invest in Apple!'" she jokingly adds. Megan's sense of humor totally shines through the movie, and it can be summed up in the scene that shows us Elliot's youngest brother has a wall completely covered in photos of Saoirse Ronan.

Maisy Stella And Megan Park Spill On That Justin Bieber Dance Sequence

Marni Grossman/Amazon MGM Studios

"You know, it's funny, now I'm like, 'I want to put pictures of my kids,'" Megan says. "I have a new baby so I'm in very mom mode. Just obsessed with my children. I've been away from them a lot for work, so I could gladly live in a bedroom just smothered of photos of my children all over every square."

"Maddie Ziegler," Maisy says when I ask who she'd dedicate a wall to. "Maddie Ziegler is literally my answer...Yeah, I could go into who I would have on my wall, but I'm going to keep it at that." (ICYMI, Maisy seemingly went Instagram official with The Last of Us star Bella Ramsey in September).

Another hilarious moment comes when Elliot starts imagining a Justin Bieber concert...with herself as Justin. But has the global sensation seen the video?! "I've been waiting for my phone to ring and it hasn't yet," Maisy jokes. "I actually, like, never want him to see it. Ever. I know his team had to approve of it, but I don't know if he approved of it. It could have been them on his behalf, he's a busy man."

Jason Mendez/Getty Images

But with moments of levity comes serious and relatable issues that mark this movie as a coming of age film: family pressure, financial stress, and devastating relationships. The story is impactful as a viewer, but even more so for the team involved in making it.

"The months after [filming] my whole life had just kind of shifted and everything kind of rose to the top," Maisy says. "It changed so much of how I think and how I actively live, and I feel like it kind of did that for a lot of the people that were on the set honestly, just because it was such a like specific experience with such a loud message and so much nostalgia that I really took it all and kept it inside."

"It set the bar pretty high, both personally and creatively, in terms of what I want that next set experience to be like," Megan adds. "Working with people that you really care about that [become] like family. It really was a beautiful, hopefully not rare, but it was a really therapeutic, wonderful, just like ego-less environment that was so creative and so fun and healing."

Check out the other New November Movies We've Been Waiting All Year For!

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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11 Obvious Signs You’re Actually An Empath, According To A Therapist

You and your friends have likely spent countless hours together, decoding everything from imaginationships to the best comfort shows to watch when you're sad. You've probably even settled into a designated role within the group. Maybe you're the super adventurous one, always suggesting friend date ideas for the group to try, while someone else always knows how to comfort everyone when life gets rough. But, have you ever wondered if you're the most empathetic friend in the group? That's easy, just ask Brianna Paruolo, LCMCH. She's the founder and clinical director of On Par Therapyso she knows how to recognize signs you're an empath, plus how to take care of yourself!

TL;DR

  • Empathy is when "you feel what others are feeling."
  • There are physical, emotional, social, and mental signs that you're an empath.
  • You may be an empath if you get physically exhausted after being in crowds, feel anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments, feel responsible for other people's happiness, or you find it hard to distinguish your own feelings from someone else's.

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Gary Barnes

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

cottonbro studio

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

Yaroslav Shuraev

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

  • Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
  • Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
  • Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

  • Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
  • Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
  • Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

  • Feeling responsible for others' happiness
  • Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

  • Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
  • Being highly attuned to body language and tone
  • Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

Mikhail Nilov

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

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But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

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You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Vitaly Gariev

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

We have even more self-care stories for you to dive into if you need a mental and emotional boost!

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12 New Christmas Movies To Bring You Comfort & Joy This Year

Holiday movies are one of the best ways to get into the spirit of the season and luckily, there are plenty of options to choose from. Whether you’re looking for a laugh-out-loud comedy or romance, we’ve got you covered. Pour yourself a mug of comforting hot chocolateand snuggle up with a blanket. Here are our picks for the most highly anticipated new Christmas movies releasing soon!

​Trivia at St. Nick's — On The Hallmark Channel November 8, 2024

Hallmark Channel

Let’s be honest, we all love when Pretty Little Liars co-stars reunite for a new project and the Hallmark Channel is delivering with Trivia at St. Nick’s. When Celeste and Max end up on the same team for their university's annual faculty Christmas Bar Trivia Tournament, they discover a newfound friendship — and chemistry. Who knows what could happen between the two of them before the championship?

Trivia at St. Nick’s stars Tammin Sursok and Brant Daugherty.

​Hot Frosty — On Netflix November 13

Petr Maur/Netflix

The holidays can be hard for those dealing with a loss, which is something Kathy is still experiencing. However, what will happen after she magically brings a handsome snowman to life? Will she learn to love again?

Hot Frosty stars Lacey Chabert, Dustin Milligan, Katy Mixon Greer, Lauren Holly, Chrishell Stause, Joe Lo Truglio, and Craig Robinson.

​Red One — In Theaters November 15, 2024

Karen Neal/Amazon MGM Studios

Who doesn’t love an action-packed holiday adventure with Dwayne Johnson as the North Pole's main security guard and Chris Evans as a bounty hunter? Throw in a kidnapped Santa Claus and you have a Red One Christmas.

Red One stars Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu, Kiernan Shipka, Bonnie Hunt, Kristofer Hivju, Nick Kroll, Wesley Kimmel and J.K. Simmons.

​An Almost Christmas Story — On Disney+ November 15, 2024

Walt Disney Studios

The third and final installment of Alfonso Cuarón’s holiday shorts collection for Disney+ is almost here, and it follows the adventure of an unlikely duo: a young owl called Moon and a lost little girl named Luna, both wanting to make it home for the holidays. This Christmas movie was was inspired by the tiny owl who was actually rescued from NYC's Rockefeller Center Christmas tree in 2020!

An Almost Christmas Story stars Cary Christopher, Estella Madrigal, Jim Gaffigan, Mamoudou Athie, Alex Ross Perry, Gianna Joseph, Phil Rosenthal, Natasha Lyonne, and John C. Reilly.

The Night Before Christmas In Wonderland — On Hulu November 15, 2024

Universal Pictures/Hulu

There's nothing more festive than an animated musical and this year, we’re finally getting the film adaptation of Carys Bexington’s The Night Before Christmas in Wonderland, which is a perfect mix of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and Alice in Wonderland. Down the rabbit hole we go!

The Night Before Christmas in Wonderland stars Emilia Clarke, Gerard Butler, and Simone Ashley.

​The Merry Gentlemen — On Netflix November 20

Katrina Marcinowski/Netflix

The Merry Gentlemen is your classic story of a former big-city girl returning to her parents’ small-town to save the day, but with a twist…a steamy, all-male Christmas-themed production!

The Merry Gentlemen stars Britt Robertson, Chad Michael Murray, Marla Sokoloff, Beth Broderick, Michael Gross, Maxwell Caulfield, Hector David Jr., Colt Prattes, and Marc Anthony Samuel.

​Our Little Secret — On Netflix November 27, 2024

Chuck Zlotnick/Netflix

Christmas with your ex? Definitely not fun for anyone, especially when you’re stuck under the same roof with new partners. Prepare for a whole lot of chaos and mixed feelings!

Our Little Secret stars Lindsay Lohan, Ian Harding, Tim Meadows, Jon Rudnitsky, Henry Czerny, Judy Reyes, Chris Parnell, Kristin Chenoweth, Dan Bucatinsky, Katie Baker, Jake Brennan, Ash Santos, and Brian Unger.

​Nutcrackers — On Hulu November 29, 2024

Nutcracker Productions LLC/Hulu

Ben Stiller is back on our screens after seven years in Nutcrackers! The comedy is filled with heart and tells the story of Mike, who's all work and no play. Everything turns upside down when he becomes the guardian for his orphaned nephews. What’s extra fun is actors Homer, Ulysses, Arlo, and Atlas Janson are actually siblings in real life.

Nutcrackers stars Ben Stiller, Linda Cardellini, Edi Patterson, Tim Heidecker, Toby Huss, Homer Janson, Ulysses Janson, Arlo Janson, and Atlas Janson.

​A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter — On Netflix December 6, 2024

Mike Coppola/Getty Images for iHeartRadio

After Sabrina Carpenter’s incredible sixth album, Short n’ Sweet, she’s ready to give us the holiday special we deserve this season. That’s right, it’s a nonsense Christmas with the singer performing songs from her fruitcake holiday EP as well as some unforgettable covers. Plus, we all know there will be some fun surprises!

A Nonsense Christmas stars Sabrina Carpenter.

​A Carpenter Christmas Romance — On Lifetime December 21

Lifetime/A+E

Andrea escapes to her family’s farmhouse to finish her novel. This leads to a run-in with her woodworker ex-crush, who's helping rebuild the town after a tragedy. Naturally, sparks fly.

A Carpenter Christmas Romance stars Sasha Pieterse and Mitchell Slaggert.

​Oh. What. Fun. — On Prime Video Soon

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

Claire's preparing to celebrate Christmas with a special family outing, until they forget her (giving classic Home Alone vibes). While this could lead to a miserable holiday for everyone, Claire's determined to get back to her family.

Oh. What. Fun. stars Michelle Pfeiffer, Felicity Jones, Chloë Grace Moretz, Denis Leary, Dominic Sessa, Jason Schwartzman, Eva Longoria, Joan Chen, Devery Jacobs, Havana Rose Liu, and Maude Apatow.

​Champagne Problems — On Netflix Soon

Daniel Zuchnik/Getty Images for Clase Azul

Who doesn’t want to take a trip to the city of love? Friday Night Lights' Minka Kelly is set to play an executive who goes to France in hopes of obtaining a well-known champagne brand. But life has other plans when she falls in love with the founder’s son.

Champagne Problems stars Minka Kelly.

Here are 28 Insanely Easy Christmas Cookie Recipes For The Holidays to go with your holiday watching :).

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