7 Helpful Tips To Learn How To Communicate Better, According To A Clinical Psychologist

Jasmine Williams
May 31, 2024
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Deep breaths...I'm still learning how to communicate better in all of my relationships — personal and professional. It doesn't seem like that should require me to gather my bearings, but I'm not always the best at conveying how I feel. If I'm not overthinking about how someone else will respond, I'm reminding myself not to approach someone while I'm feeling defensive.

Are you in the same boat and need loving nudges in the right direction? Dr. Naomi Bernstein, Pys.D and cohost of the Oversharing podcast from Betches Media, has helpful strategies that'll encourage you to become more intentional about communicating. Her approach is all about helping people learn mindfulness techniques and says, "Many people think of mindfulness as sitting on meditation mat and listening to music — that’s the practice. Game time is when you deal with things in real life."

Here's what she's got to say about those of us who want to change our communication tunes.

Do people communicate differently post-pandemic?

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This is probably something you've experienced, or at least have been wondering about, especially if you're tuned into the everything going on with the loneliness epidemic right now. However, Dr. Bernstein says there's not as much of huge difference in our communication abilities post-pandemic as we think.

"It hasn’t gotten ‘worse.’ We’ve always done a lot of text communication. What the pandemic got people used to is virtual-based communication. You know, the immediate gratification that comes from sending a quick text — which is different from having a face-to-face or phone conversation," she says.

Plus, you can't always judge someone's tone when you're reading a text or responding to an email. Based on how we're already feeling, our assumptions can about someone's message can make us think the other person is being aggressive when they're not and vice versa.

What are some of people's biggest communication barriers?

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Think about the last time you were having a conversation that made you feel tense or stressed. Now, ask yourself if you already felt like that prior to communicating with someone based on your own preconceived notions.

Honestly, it's something a lot of us do for several reasons. Dr. Bernstein says, "The first thing people think is, 'The other person isn't going to like what I'll say' or we become afraid of [potential] negative reactions." The reason for this, she says, is that we may have learned to anticipate certain emotions based on how our parents responded to us (i.e. angry or sad reactions).

So, how do you learn not to let your fear get in the way of you learning how to communicate better? "Learn how to tolerate that negative emotion that comes up in other people. Literally, ride out the initial wave of discomfort and tell yourself, 'This is a feeling. It's temporary. I can ride through it,'" Dr. Bernstein coaches.

The core of her approach as a psychologist is to help her clients learn mindfulness techniques, so she also suggests learning how to breath and relax through whatever discomfort you may feel. And through that discomfort, Dr. Bernstein wants people to check in with themselves and other. "Most people know what they want to say. The hard part is checking in with how others feel. Allow people to come back with how they feel," says Dr. Bernstein.

Are there different communication styles?

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You've probably seen this circulating around social media, but the short answer is yes! Dr. Bernstein mentions two different communication styles specifically: people who veer towards an avoidant communication style versus those who lean towards seeking constant reassurance. She explains that a lot of this comes down to the levels of emotion you can handle.

"Those who are avoidant don't tolerate emotions well and prefer to either get through quickly, or not deal with them at all. The result can be passive aggressive behavior, sweeping things under the rug, or shutting down," she adds.

For those who seek constant reassurance, Dr. Bernstein surprisingly says that this is still a form of being uncomfortable with emotions. "People like this always want to talk about emotions and are very open to expressing them. However, they choose to seek reassurance rather than completely avoiding them," she says.

How does this manifest in conversations? It can look like piling your emotions onto another person, making them feel weighed down. "This can be exhausting to people," Dr. Bernstein adds.

What's not helpful when learning how to communicate better?

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The answer may seem obvious, but it doesn't hurt to have some more simple reminders like not ignoring something that's bothering you. In all honesty, it's literally the first thing Dr. Bernstein feels you shouldn't do. She says, "Don’t avoid having a [needed] conversation because it can turn into passive aggressive reactions."

Nonetheless, she also doesn't recommend that you dump everything you're feeling — and maybe have been feeling for some time now — onto someone all at once. "Sometimes we have a habit of bringing up other things in a conversation, especially if we're upset. We think, 'Well, since I have you here...'"

Admittedly, I've done this so many times, and I only started recognizing it once I realized how it was affecting my relationship with my S.O. Trust me — no one likes to feel like you're pointing out every last thing you think they're wrong.

How can someone learn how to communicate better in general?

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There's no reason to feel like you're the world's worst person if you're still learning how to communicate better. Plus, there's always strategies you begin putting into practice.

"Learn to breathe and pay attention to where emotion lives in your body. You can set a timer for 10 minutes and watch or feel where the emotion goes," Dr. Bernstein recommends. I learned this mindfulness practice from my own therapist, and it's been a major help when I feel myself getting overwhelmed.

It's easy to forget is that we're always connected to our bodies, even if we're not consciously thinking about how our actions and emotions physically affect us. Dr. Bernstein says, "The reason we clench our jaws or fists when we're upset about something is because our flight or fight mode is being activated. When we try to communicate while in this mode, we end up not thinking clearly in the moment because all our energy and resources are going towards it."

This explains why we come off aggressively or overly emotive. Simply put, "We're not always the kindest or most thoughtful people while in this mode," Dr. Bernstein admits.

How can friends learn how to communicate more effectively?

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This question felt especially pointed on my part because I'm all too familiar with what happens when friends aren't communicating or understanding each other properly — hello, friendship breakups. I liken this to the fact that most of us don't think twice about having certain conversations with our friends because we don't feel like — and don't want to feel like — we have to.

For example, setting boundaries can be tricky if your friend suddenly gets defensive about why you feel it's necessary to do so. "I always suggest trying warmth when someone gets defensive during a conversation. In fact, I teach my clients to use the RVS method — reflect, validate, and support," Dr. Bernstein comments.

She says this is how it'll look in practice:

  • Reflect: During a conversation with someone, reflectback on what's being said. It can sound patronizing, but literally repeat back what you heard. When someone hears their words, it can take the steam off things.
  • Validate: Say, "I can understand how you feel this way" because the feedback can be taken better.
  • Support: Ask, "What can I do differently next time?" This opens the door for softening on the other person's part.

Additionally, you can do a little check-in with your friends. Dr. Bernstein notes that saying, 'Hey, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page or when this happened, I felt pressured,' can also be a big help.

How can couples learn how to communicate better?

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Though I've been in a 10 year relationship, I'd be extremely dishonest if I said we're always on the same page about things. Knowing that other couples butt heads about living habits, being new parents, finances, and more, I always wonder if there are ways to address things without ending in a screaming match or silent treatment.

It turns out that there are ways, according to Dr. Bernstein. She says, "Address things before they build up. Don't wait until 6 months after you've been annoyed that your partner leaves cabinets open to say, 'If leave one more cabinet, I'm gonna lose my mind.'"

I wish I would've asked this question in 2021 because my solution was very much so, 'If I ignore it, it won't bother me.' From one always-learning and ever-evolving individual to another, that's not a good idea at all. It can lead to feeling like you and partner are completely different teams with one goal: demolish the offending person's habits.

Instead of approaching things from that perspective, Dr. Bernstein suggests coming up with a specific mantra or affirmation for your relationship. "Yours can be something like, 'We're navigating or learning together,'" she suggests.

Additionally, it's always good to remind your partner how much you adore them. She suggests telling your partner, "I love being close to you. I love living with you. There's just a couple of things we can work on together so that we’re both comfortable."

Things also sound way more reasonable when our body language is calm and we're connecting with someone during an intimate activity like hiking or cooking. Personally, some of my S.O. and I's best conversations have occurred when we're in the kitchen while one of is cooking our meal for the night. In our eyes, this is part of doing the work that everyone talks about.

"But, what is the work? It's being able to tolerate your partner's emotions whether you're in an argument or see that they're stressed without trying to fix it," Dr. Bernstein responds. "Some people just want you to sit with them when they're upset."

Here's to maturing and learning how to communicate better! I know I've got some things to work on, and I'm excited for you to put these tips into practice, too!

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8 Times "Old-Fashioned" Boomer Advice Aged Horribly

We've all been taught to respect the wisdom of our elders, but in today's world, is advice from Boomers really relevant anymore?

Think about it: this generation, born between 1946 and 1964, got to benefit from easier access to entry-level positions, more affordable home prices, and much cheaper college tuition rates. Nowadays, younger generations are grappling with housing shortages, high mortgage rates, student loans, and an extremely competitive job market.

So, whether it's about career choices or money management, here are some classic pieces of outdated Boomer advice that haven't aged well and need a refresh.

Scroll to see all the old-fashioned Boomer advice that just didn't age well...

1. "Follow your dreams."

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This phrase became a mantra for many Boomers, pushing the idea that pursuing passion and fulfillment in work should be a top priority. Unfortunately, that's just not realistic any more.

Sure, passion is important, but the reality is that dreams don't always pay the bills or ensure financial stability. Today, many people find themselves balancing passion with practicality by taking on side gigs, freelancing, or choosing careers that might not be their ultimate dream job but offer security.

2. "You can pull yourself up by your bootstraps."

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Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps has long been hailed as the hallmark of self-made success. It suggests that anyone, regardless of their background, can achieve greatness through pure hard work and determination.

However, younger generations agree that's just not the case in 2025. With growing economic inequalities, skyrocketing housing costs, and student debt, that proverbial bootstrap can feel pretty elusive. For many, the idea of pulling yourself up isn't as simple as working harder; it's a matter of having access to the right opportunities and resources.

3. "You can be whatever you want."

Anastasia Shuraeva

Again, just because someone wants to be a lawyer or doctor (and is willing to work hard) doesn't mean they can. Sure, the idea of limitless potential sounds inspiring, but it blatantly overlooks the systemic barriers that so many people face.

In the modern era, the road to success is often paved by factors beyond anyone's control, like access to education, family wealth, and even geography. The harsh truth is that "being whatever you want" is a lot harder with these obstacles in the way.

4. "Go to college, get a degree, and you'll be set."

Moe Magners

It was once thought that a degree would immediately open the door to a stable, well-paying job and a secure future. While college education is still valuable today, it's no longer a guarantee of success, especially due to crippling student debt and a more competitive job market than ever.

Many graduates still find themselves underemployed or stuck in jobs they didn't really want. So, unfortunately, degrees are no longer surefire tickets to successful careers.

5. "You should buy a home instead of wasting money on renting."

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Homeownership was a milestone viewed as a mark of stability and success. Meanwhile, renting was considered a temporary solution.

Even so, high home prices and interest rates, coupled with housing shortages, have left plenty of young people simply unable to buy their own property. Instead, renting has now become a long-term reality for many.

6. "It's taboo to talk about money."

Ron Lach

Talking about income or other financial matters used to be considered tacky or inappropriate. Yet, salary transparency is more important than ever in 2025.

Wage inequality and pay gaps are major issues, and openly discussing money helps ensure people are fairly and equally compensated in the workplace. Many employees now recognize the power of sharing their salary as a way to hold their bosses accountable and help others negotiate better pay.

7. "Just save your money."

Pavel Danilyuk

Anyone with a Boomer parent has probably been told that if they "just" set aside a portion of their income, they'll be set for the future. That's not true anymore.

With inflation and rising living costs, stashing cash away in the bank isn't enough to secure financial stability. Not to mention, many people can't even keep up with the increasing costs of essentials, let alone saving to build wealth. Instead, budgeting, investing, and strategic financial planning are essential for money management today.

8. "Settle down and start your family."

Mikhail Nilov

Last but not least, settling down and starting a family used to be viewed as the natural next step in adulthood. But this advice doesn't resonate the same with younger generations.

The pressure to settle down has been replaced with a desire to achieve personal growth, career advancement, and financial independence first. Also, starting a family isn't a one-size-fits-all goal anymore, especially amidst evolving gender roles and an increased focus on mental well-being. That's why more people are choosing a path that feels right for them as opposed to following a set timeline.

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Pedro Pascal Just Commented On Those Jennifer Aniston "Romance" Rumors After Their 3-Hour Dinner

Jennifer Aniston and Pedro Pascal fans are in a frenzy over a possible budding romance between the A-list singles. The rumors were sparked after the pair reportedly spent three hours on a dinner date together.

This past Saturday, Jennifer and Pedro were seen leaving the Tower Bar at the Sunset Tower Hotel, located in West Hollywood, California. The former Friends star and Gladiator II actor were both rocking leather as they spoke by the valet area. Jennifer wore cuffed pants, a white T-shirt, a leather vest, and boots; meanwhile, Pedro looked cool in jeans, a leather jacket, and loafers.

But was it actually a date? Here's what we know!

Scroll to find out what's really going on with Jennifer Aniston & Pedro Pascal...

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Photos of the celebs together prompted many social media users to share their approval of a potential partnership. Others pointed out how Pedro could just be appearing on The Morning Show, an Apple TV+ drama series starring Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon.

That's because, during the 2024 Critics' Choice Awards, Reese and Pedro discussed the show on the red carpet in a clip that's since resurfaced on X. She told the actor that a "really good part" was open for him on The Morning Show, and he replied, "Pitch it to me now. I'm in. I'll be waiting to hear from my agents. Draw it up. Send me a script. Or just pitch it to me in the room."

As Pedro responded to Reese, Jennifer held Pedro's hand, looked at the camera, and mouthed, "Oh my god." It seems that, just like fans around the globe, even Jennifer is endeared by the Chilean-born actor.

Nonetheless, if it was unclear whether her and Pedro's three-hour dinner date was for business or pleasure, a source told Page Six, "“There is no romance going on between Jennifer Aniston and Pedro Pascal. They respect each other as artists but it’s strictly platonic and they’re not dating.”

So I guess that answers that!

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Jennifer, who is now 56 years old, has previously been married twice. She first tied the knot with Brad Pitt in 2000, and they announced their separation five years later on January 7, 2005. Then, she got married to Justin Theroux in 2015, but they separated in February 2018.

Pedro, on the other hand, has never been married and prefers to keep his romantic endeavors more private. Nonetheless, he reportedly dated Maria Dizzia for a decade and has been linked to other celebrities, including Game of Thrones actress Lena Headey and Robin Tunney, who's most well-known for her role on the show The Mentalist.

Jennifer and Reese's drama series, The Morning Show, debuted on November 1, 2019, and has since had three successful seasons. The project has been so well-received, in fact, that it's earned over 50 award nominations and received an early renewal for a fourth season in April 2023, before Season 3 even debuted.

Still, fans will just have to wait and see if Pedro, beloved for his performances in The Last of Us, Gladiator II, The Mandalorian, and Game of Thrones, will be joining Jennifer on-screen in future episodes of The Morning Show, or otherwise!

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10 "Outdated" Careers That Won't Be Around For Much Longer

Advancements in technology and shifting consumer behavior are constantly shaping the job market and causing it to evolve. So, some careers that have stood the test of time are becoming obsolete and facing numbered days.

Whether we like it or not, here are 10 outdated careers that may soon be a thing of the past because emerging fields are paving a new way forward.

Scroll to see which outdated careers might disappear sooner rather than later...

1. Warehouse Workers

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Warehouse jobs, particularly those in large distribution centers for companies like Amazon, are at high risk of being replaced by automation. With the development of AI and advanced robots, companies are looking to automate tasks like order fulfillment, inventory management, and packaging.

Automation offers the advantage of 24/7 operation without the need for breaks or sleep, making it more efficient than human labor. Leaders like Elon Musk have acknowledged that making a full switch will be challenging. Nonetheless, the shift toward technology-driven warehouses is undeniable, and many traditional jobs will likely be transformed or phased out.

2. Librarians

Tima Miroshnichenko

Being a librarian was once viewed as a vital and secure profession. Now, digital tech has changed the way we access information, and with the rise of e-books, audiobooks, and online databases, fewer people are relying on physical libraries for their reading and research needs.

Plus, as books become more affordable and accessible, the traditional library model, which is centered around physical book rentals, is becoming less relevant. So, even though it's unlikely that libraries are going to disappear entirely, the role of librarians may shift toward digital management and online services.

3. Ride-Share Drivers

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Drivers for taxi companies, as well as ride-share apps like Uber and Lyft, are facing an uncertain future as autonomous vehicles become more advanced. Self-driving cars, which are powered by artificial intelligence, are set to revolutionize the transportation industry and possibly eliminate the need for human drivers.

These vehicles will use apps to identify riders, calculate fares, and complete payments, all without any human intervention. This means the role of the traditional ride-share driver may no longer be necessary.

4. Customer Service Reps

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AI and chatbots are increasingly replacing customer service representatives, too, as they're capable of handling a wide range of inquiries and issues. These AI-driven systems may offer faster and more efficient solutions and, in turn, eliminate long wait times for customers trying to speak to a human representative.

This, coupled with the fact that chatbots can operate 24/7, will help companies streamline their operations and cut costs. That's why many customer service roles are already being phased out.

5. Legal Secretaries

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Even legal secretaries are facing threats due to AI-powered tools, which can handle tasks like legal research, document drafting, and contract management. These technologies are automating a lot of the routine work that once required humans and reducing the demand for legal secretaries in law firms.

Now, this role probably won't be completely replaced by AI. Even so, the automation of basic functions could still lead to lower overall staffing needs, particularly for paralegals and junior legal assistants.

6. Cashiers

Andrea Piacquadio

Walk into your local supermarket, and you'll see that technology has already begun to take over traditional checkout processes. With the rise of self-checkout kiosks, mobile payment options like Apple Pay, and even cryptocurrency transactions, the need for human cashiers is steadily decreasing.

Retailers like Amazon have already introduced cashier-free convenience stores, and other companies may follow in their footsteps.

7. Referees

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Not even sports fields seem to be safe from the rise of AI. In fact, referees are increasingly being sidelined as technology takes a more prominent role in officiating sports.

Systems like goal-line technology and Video Assistant Referee (VAR) have already proven that AI can make more accurate and unbiased calls than humans. Another appeal of automated officiating lies in its ability to reduce controversial decisions that spark arguments among players, coaches, and fans.

8. Translators

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As AI-powered translation tools become more sophisticated, translators are facing stiff competition, too. These systems, which were once limited to basic word-for-word translation, are getting better at understanding context, tone, and nuance.

The improvement of machine learning will also allow for vast amounts of text across various languages to be processed simultaneously, increasing its accuracy. So, the demand for traditional translation services is expected to decline in the wake of faster and cheaper AI solutions.

9. Computer Programmers

Julio Lopez

AI-driven coding tools are advancing as well. Automated programming assistants and open-source AI libraries are streamlining many routine coding tasks, like debugging, code generation, and even basic software development.

Skilled developers will likely still be needed for complex problem-solving and other, more creative software design projects. But, developers whose roles focus on repetitive tasks may see reduced demand.

10. Dispatchers

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Finally, human dispatchers may gradually be replaced by AI systems that can manage logistics, emergency responses, and customer inquiries. Things like advanced GPS tracking, automated scheduling, and real-time data processing allow AI to handle dispatch tasks with little human help.

Some cities have already implemented AI for non-emergency calls, slashing the need for human operators on the other end of the phone.

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Everyone's Losing It Over This "Batsh—t" 'Yellowjackets' Theory: "Everything Came Together"

We've spent the last few years dissecting just what the heck is happening in Yellowjackets, and have witnessed everything from literal cannibalization and the antler queen. And this season, when the woods began singing back to the girls, it really pushed the show's creepy factor to the breaking point. But according to one major theory, Yellowjackets season 3 episode 7, "Croak", just proved everything we've witnessed has just been one giant delusion — and it's all to do with frogs. Yep, you read that right.

Keep reading for the Yellowjackets season 3 frog theory that sucked all of us, including Lottie and Shauna, in.

The supernatural element of 'Yellowjackets' could actually have been frogs the whole time.

Yellowjackets season 3 episode 7 features a pair of frog scientists named Edwin and Hannah, along with Kodiak, their guide. After Lottie kills Edwin with an axe because she believes the wilderness doesn't want them, Hannah and Kodiak are ultimately met with the team anyway; Travis and Akilah save Kodiak from falling off a cliff and Natalie and Shauna bring Hannah back to camp.

@quigonnjake points out on TikTok how the arrival of the frog scientists could prove the wilderness supposedly singing back to the team is actually a frog call, and that the team has been wrapped up in one big delusion this whole time.

"These girls have been isolated and alone and stranded for months — over a year!" he says. "It would make sense for them to create something in their mind after everything they have experienced, the other members of their team that they've lost, the eating of people."

He also points out that because of Lottie's "psychological past," it makes sense for her to create something for the girls to believe in and fully hold on to. "And if we thought Lottie was batsh—t before, there's no term imaginable that describes her now," he concludes.

And 'Yellowjackets' fans are totally here for it.

Naturally, the idea that a central part of Yellowjackets (AKA the magic of it all) isn't what we thought sent fans into a tizzy. "This 👏 show 👏 is 👏 not 👏 supernatural!" one user agreed in the comments, and I'm totally here for this. After seeing (somewhat) realistic shows like Outer Banks and Riverdale descend into absolutely unhinged supernatural plotlines, I'd love for a show we all thought was supernatural to wrap up with a scientific explanation! Oh how the tables have turned.

Another Yellowjackets fan points out how Ben was the team's last tie to humanity, and that "Lottie's and Shauna's reactions prove it. They had the chance to go home, it was right there and they chose the wilderness," while a third theorizes "the trees engraved with the symbol are triangulation stations used for surveying and mapping the area and identifying areas of geothermal energy."

We'll just have to keep tuning in until we get the full picture. But either way, another TikTok user says, "I was wondering why they all disliked Lottie in the adult timeline when they had been pretty much worshipping her in the wilderness. Everything came together."

When does Yellowjackets season 3 air?

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Yellowjackets season 3 premiered on February 16, 2025 and new episodes air on Fridays at 12 AM EST on Paramount+ and Sundays at 8 PM EST on Showtime. Here's the full list of episodes:

  • Season 3, Episode 1 "It Girl" premiered on February 16, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 2 "Dislocation" premiered on February 16, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 3 "Them's the Brakes" premiered on February 23, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 4 "12 Angry Girls and 1 Drunk Travis" premiered on March 2, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 5 "Did Tai Do That?" premiered on March 9, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 6 "Thanksgiving (Canada)" premiered on March 16, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 7 "Croak" premiered on March 23, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 8 "A Normal, Boring Life" premieres on March 30, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 9 "How the Story Ends" premieres on April 6, 2025
  • Season 3, Episode 10 "Full Circle" premieres on April 13, 2025

Who's in Yellowjackets season 3?

The Yellowjackets season 3 cast includes:

  • Melanie Lynskey and Sophie Nelisse as Shauna Shipman Sadecki: Jackie's best friend in high school who's actually sleeping with Jackie's boyfriend Jeff and gets pregnant with Callie. As an adult, Shauna's discontent with being Jeff's housewife and struggles to connect with their daughter Callie.
  • Tawny Cypress and Jasmin Savoy Brown as Taissa Turner: A competitive member of the Yellowjackets who's secretly dating Vanessa before the plane crash and, after they wind up on the island, starts sleepwalking, which evolves into psychogenic fugue and follows her into adulthood.
  • Christina Ricci and Samantha Hanratty as Misty Quigley: The Yellowjackets' equipment manager who's frequently bullied as a teen and has a crush on Coach Ben. She proves to be helpful after the crash, and as an adult, Misty works in a nursing home and takes part in the Citizen Detectives crime solving club.
  • Sophie Thatcher as Natalie Scatorccio: A member of the team who struggles with substance abuse, but who takes charge after the plane crash.
  • Simone Kessell and Courtney Eaton as Charlotte "Lottie" Matthews: A wealthy member of the Yellowjackets who has schizophrenia, and whose parents provided the plane that crashed in the wilderness.
  • Lauren Ambrose and Liv Hewson as Vanessa "Van" Palmer: Taissa secret girlfriend before the crash who plays goalkeeper on the team. She believes Lottie while they're trapped in the wilderness, and as an adult, she owns a video store.
  • Steven Krueger as Ben Scott: Yellowjackets assistant coach who does not return Misty's affections.
  • Warren Kole as Jeff Sadecki: Shauna's husband and Callie's father, as well as Jackie's ex boyfriend.
  • Kevin Alves as Travis Martinez: Coach Martinez's son who finds himself trapped in the wilderness with the Yellowjackets.
  • Sarah Desjardins as Callie Sadecki: Jeff and Shauna's daughter who gets sucked into her parents' illegal activity.

Stay tuned for the latest Yellowjackets news and read up on The "Genius" White Lotus Season 3 Theory Everyone's Saying Is "Crazy Good".

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10 "Shocking" Ways 'Gilmore Girls' Actually Aged Really Poorly...

To this day, Gilmore Girls is still a coming-of-age classic that many people continue to rewatch. It's packed with witty banter, quirky small-town characters, and heartwarming portrayals of the mother-daughter dynamic between Lorelai Gilmore and Rory Gilmore.

However, while the show remains extremely popular, even among new generations, there are some undeniable issues that make Gilmore Girls feel outdated. From problematic portrayals to underrepresentation and flat-out bad character behavior, here are 10 ways the series hasn't aged well.

Scroll to see all the ways Gilmore Girlsjust didn't really age well...

1. Cultural Stereotypes Are Everywhere

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It's no secret that Gilmore Girls relied on stereotypes, particularly when portraying non-white characters. The most notable example of this is Lane's mother, Mrs. Kim.

She's supposed to be an overbearing, traditional Asian mother who has a rigid sense of discipline and is obsessed with her daughter's academic success. This portrayal might've been intended to reflect cultural differences, but Mrs. Kim's character often just comes across as a caricature.

2. Where's The LGBTQ+ Representation?

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The show also largely overlooked the inclusion of any LGBTQ+ characters, despite it featuring plenty of recurring roles over its seven seasons. While the 2016 revival Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life briefly revealed that Michel was married to a man, the OG show never mentioned his orientation or love life.

It's particularly glaring since, aside from centering on mother-daughter relationships, the series frequently navigates the main characters' romantic issues. For modern audiences, the inclusion of only straight relationships just isn't relatable or representative.

3. Rory Needs To Check Her Privilege

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There's no doubt that Rory feels tension between her working-class upbringing and the privilege she ultimately gets from her grandparents, Richard and Emily Gilmore.

As a young kid, she was raised by a single mother who worked tirelessly to provide for her. So, at the beginning of the series, Rory is a lovable character who values hard work.

However, she becomes increasingly entitled as Gilmore Girls goes on. For instance, remember when she dropped out of Yale (which was paid for by her grandparents), got to live in their luxe pool house for free, and acted like the whole experience was such a hardship? Many fans have to skip over this cringey time in Rory's storyline altogether.

4. Fatphobia Isn't Witty

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During the 2000s, fatphobia was a go-to comedic device, and Gilmore Girls fell into that trap. It's a shame, too, since the show was so revered for its quick, eclectic wit.

Nonetheless, characters like Lorelai, Rory, and even Emily made fatphobic comments that came across as cruel as opposed to funny. Perhaps the worst instance of this came in Season 4, when Rory reported on a Yale production for the newspaper and called a ballerina a "hippo."

The ballerina later confronted Rory out in the cafeteria, calling her review "mean, petty, and despicable," but Rory didn't apologize and responded, "This was all in the line of duty. It was an assignment from my editor, so it was nothing personal."

5. Rory's Affair: Need We Say More?

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Rory's affair with her married ex-boyfriend, Dean, marked one of the most controversial moments in the show. They previously dated at the very beginning of Gilmore Girls, but after they broke up, Dean finally moved on and married someone else.

Well, when Rory felt lonely, she started an affair with him while knowing he was married. It was a particularly low point for her as a character, showing her selfishness and disregard for the consequences of her actions.

6. Christopher Got Too Much Positive Screen Time

Christopher is arguably one of the most frustrating characters, considering the show's tendency to paint him in a surprisingly positive light. He's largely absent during Rory's childhood, and even when he does re-enter his daughter's life, he isn't a stable parent.

Even so, Gilmore Girls continues to present him as funny, charming, and deserving of multiple chances at romance with Lorelai. Nowadays, modern audiences would probably find it hard to overlook his repeated shortcomings.

7. Emily Gilmore Serves Up Classism On The Regular

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We get it: Lorelai's parents, Richard and Emily, needed to be kind of horrible in order to make the storyline work. Why else would Lorelai flee her home as a pregnant teen and cut them off?

Regardless, Emily maintains an elitist attitude throughout the entire series and never stops looking down on people she deems beneath her, especially those with less privileged backgrounds.

For instance, she's infamous for treating her household staff terribly and firing them frequently. Her disapproval of Rory's relationship with Dean, who's a working-class boy from Stars Hollow, also couldn't have been more different than her warm welcome of Logan, a wealthy Yale student. The discrepancies are glaring.

8. Rory And Lorelai Lack Healthy Boundaries

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Rory and Lorelai's mother-daughter relationship is critical for Gilmore Girls, but their bond often crosses into territory that feels uncomfortably codependent. It might've been more understandable when Rory was still a teenager living at home. Yet, even when she goes off to college, the strange dynamic continues.

In fact, Rory actually begged Lorelai to visit New Haven on her first night at Yale and stay over in her dorm room. Not only did Lorelai agree, but she also threw a party for Rory and her new roommates!

9. Zack Shouldn't Have Been Lane's Consolation Prize

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After watching Lane fight back against her mother's controlling tendencies throughout high school, Gilmore Girls fans had high hopes for her future. Unfortunately, those were squashed when she got married to Zack and wound up pregnant with twins.

She was always supposed to end up with the character Dave Rygalski, played by Adam Brody, but Dave was written off the show due to Adam's commitment to The O.C. So, Lane was stuck with Zack, and the relationship felt forced. More importantly, her character arguably never reached her full potential.

10. Michel Deserved More

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Finally, we believe that Michel, the sole Black character on the show, deserved more. Instead, his uptight and snobby role was just used for comic relief.

Gilmore Girls never delved far into his personal life or explored his character in any meaningful way. The lack of depth is especially noticeable today. Plus, Michel's surface-level storyline feels like a missed opportunity considering actor Yanic Truesdale's talent.

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