How to Deal If You Hate Your S.O.’s Friends

In the early days of a relationship, it can be tough to identify a single fault in your new-ish significant other. The conversations over dinner dates are interesting and engaging, they’re quick to use small gestures to demonstrate how much they like you, and — let’s be honest — they’re hot. Check, check, check!

Things may get tricky, though, when you’re intro’d to bae’s besties. Your S.O. likely has high expectations that you’ll hit it off with their pals, and if you’re immediately put off by their personalities, habits, or attitudes, it may leave you wondering how you can move forward with a lasting relationship. It can also make you question your partner’s character, since your friends are a reflection of who you are.

Not digging your significant other’s friends doesn’t have to be a recipe for a breakup. There are ways to work through this obstacle… and maybe even to gain some new pals along the way. Read on for expert tips on how to cope when you’re not a fan of your sweetie’s crew.

1. Be honest. “Your partner’s friends don’t have to be your friends too if you don’t like them!” relationship expert Sonya Schwartz says. “If your S.O. asks what you think about them, just be honest and tell them what you feel.” You learned back in elementary school that honesty is the best policy and that’s certainly true here, though you should be mindful to keep your tone as neutral and kind as possible.

2. Consider the root of the problem. Your issues with these friends may be the result of an awkward interaction you had with them years ago. You may (rightfully) worry that they’re bad influences on bae. Or maybe you just don’t like their personality. All of these concerns are valid, but they’re not equally legit reasons to shut down in their presence. Couples counselor and Baltimore Therapy Center director Raffi Bilek recommends that you spend some time thinking about what really bothers you about your partner’s friendships. If you feel like your S.O.’s friends encourage them to drink too much or engage in other habits that put their job or health at risk, it might be worth discussing with bae. “If you just don’t like them, take your space and leave it alone,” Bilek says.

3. Stay on top of your self-care. You shouldn’t need another reason to take good care of yourself, but if you were in the market for one, here it is. Marriage and family therapist Heidi McBain tells us that self-care is especially important if you anticipate having to spend time with people who aren’t necessarily at the top of your list. This will ensure that “you’re in a good, healthy space when you’re going into the stressful situations with your partner’s friends,” she notes.

4. Seek the good. “Remind yourself that there are qualities about these people that your S.O. is drawn to,” licensed therapist Christine Tomasello tells us. “Encourage yourself to look for those qualities or others that you can connect with or find appealing.” When you put in more effort to get to know your partner’s pals, they’ll also likely be more open to discussing your concerns if those positive qualities prove difficult to uncover.

5. Limit your interactions. Your partner might like to make a weekly habit of happy hours or group dinners with their pals, but there’s no rule that says you need to make an appearance just as regularly. You have it totally within your power to draw boundaries that feel healthy. Schwartz recommends that you commit to hanging out with these least favorite friends only at big, important events, like your significant other’s birthday.

6. Be diplomatic. “Act like a grown up and behave when you see your S.O.’s friends,” Schwartz suggests. “If you have to attend an event where they are present and really don’t feel like coping with it, invite some of your friends too and engage in conversation with them.” We know you have it in you to fake it ’til you make it next time you’re forced into a situation with this particular crew. Good manners go a long way.

7. Know when it’s time to walk away. Your beef with bae’s friends would have to be pretty serious to merit a breakup, but situations like this exist. If you feel ready to offer your partner an ultimatum — ditch your friends or we’re done — then it’s probably best to skip that step and part ways immediately. “Don’t try and alter your partner’s identity,” TruthFinder relationship expert Amica Graber says. “Our sense of self is very present in our interpersonal relationships. If [your partner] doesn’t feel comfortable being the same person around you that they are with their friends, it’s possible there’s a deeper underlying issue in your relationship.”

Have you ever had bad vibes with a partner’s pals? Tweet us @BritandCo.

(Photo via Getty)

Life comes at you fast when you're in love, while you're juggling career goals, pets, babies, friends, family, and whatever else folded in to your very, very filled cup. One minute you and your spouse can't enough of each other, but then time passes and you might start to feel like you're roommates. "Ugh, what is that about," is a question I used to ask when my own relationship's spark felt like tiny embers amongst our ever-growing responsibilities. Licensed psychotherapist Lucas Saiter, LMHC, owner and director of Manhattan Therapy NYC, says, "It's crucial for couples to acknowledge periods of disconnection without judgement."

According to him, you can start "by having an open conversation about feeling disconnected" which is a "positive step" in the desired direction. But, he wants this to happen during "a calm moment" instead of "during a conflict or when there are distractions."

The ultimate goal is for "each partner" to feel like they have "the opportunity to express their feelings openly and honestly, using 'I' statements to avoid blaming, while the other partner actively listens without interrupting or getting defensive," according to him.

8 ways to renew your marriage when you're busy checking off your to-do list

Your marriage isn't doomed because you feel like it's gotten off track. Saiter says, "Rekindling the spark in a marriage goes beyond physical intimacy; it's about creating emotional closeness and shared experiences. Couples can focus on deep, meaningful conversations that go beyond the day-to-day logistics."

1. If you don't cook often, surprise your spouse with their favorite dinner recipe.

cottonbro studio

Saiter says you or your spouse "can make time for small gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness, like cooking" each other's "favorite meal." We don't know everything, but we're aware that home-cooked meals mean a lot to some people. Eating out is fun, but seeing someone put time and effort into a meal for you feels more personal.

2. Allow your partner to sleep in while you handle bank runs, grocery shopping, and other chores.

Michael Burrows

One of the other ways to each other's heart is "...running errands to show love and appreciation," according to Saiter. This can look like letting your partner rest while you handle early morning visits to the bank or grocery store before traffic picks up on the weekend.

Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating. For instance, taking a class together, whether it’s cooking, dancing, or photography, can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories.

3. Sign up for a dance or photography class together.

cottonbro studio

If you've been thinking about taking a cooking, wine, dance, or photography class together, now's the time to do so! Saiter says, "Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating." Before you roll your eyes because you think you and your spouse don't have anything in common anymore, take a step back to remember what it was like when you were dating.

You probably went on different dates like going to the bowling alley, visiting a pumpkin patch, or even taking a candle class together for fun. Doing this again "can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories," according to Saiter.

4. Verbally share why you're grateful for each other.

Andrea Piacquadio

Yes, it's time for you and your spouse to remember why you chose to exchange vows. "...practicing gratitude by regularly expressing appreciation for each other's qualities and contributions can strengthen the emotional bond and bring back the warmth and closeness," Saiter says.

You can tell your partner you appreciate the times they've sensed something was wrong and knew just what to say to cheer you up. Also, you could simply thank them for remembering to take out the trash without you having to ask.

There's no rulebook that says expressing thanks for each other has to be elaborate and drawn out. It's just something to help you remember how much you see each other.

5. Set aside time to hold hands or cuddle everyday.

Pavel Danilyuk

If you or your spouse are experiencing a drop in your libido, physical intimacy be hard to navigate. Saiter says, "Overcoming a 'dry spell' requires open communication and a willingness to explore underlying issues." As difficult as it may be, don't be afraid to express concerns because "there are many feelings and unsaid wants underneath the 'dry spell,'" he adds.

Doing something as simple as "prioritizing physical, non-sexual touch" is one way way Saiter believes can help you and your spouse become close again. You do things like "holding hands, cuddling, or sharing a long hug," to add a little spark back to what you had.

6. Pencil in date nights.

Jep Gambardella

How many times have your or spouse asked, "Who has time for date night?" Wait, we don't want to know because chances are one of you have said it one too many times to count. Saiter says, "Planning regular date nights or weekends away can also help break the routine and create a sense of adventure in the relationship."

Communicating and being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions, can also reignite the spark and make things exciting again.

You can also try revisiting places or activities that were significant earlier in your relationship to evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection.

7. Let your adventurous side show in the bedroom.

Andrea Piacquadio

If one of you are comfortable initiating sex again, let your fun side call the shots. However, Saiter wants to make sure you're "communicating" before surprising your spouse. "...being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions" is one of the ways he thinks you can reconnect behind closed doors. It's all about finding safe ways to "reignite the spark and make things exciting again," he shares!

8. Revisit the place you fell in love with your spouse.

Taylor Thompson

If you remember the exact time and place you knew your spouse was the one, Saiter suggests revisiting it to "evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection." Whether it was at your local pizza parlor, the park, or even at a place like Disney World, find your why again.

My spouse and I are doing great after incorporating these tips, but how can we stay consistent?

Ba Tik

Saiter says, "Life gets busy, but it’s crucial to carve out time for each other. Treat it like any other important appointment—block off time in your schedule for date nights, family dinners, or just time relaxing together." Maybe you think it should sound so simple, but it is. Like Saiter says, you have to prioritize your marriage just like you do everything and everyone else.

Ways to help you do so are limiting "distractions by putting away phones and other devices" to "talk about your dreams, unwind together or simply enjoy each other's company," he adds. Still struggling?

"It might also be helpful to look over your daily responsibilities together to make sure the workload at home is shared fairly. Building a strong and fulfilling relationship takes effort and commitment. By prioritizing your partner, communicating openly, and making time for each other, you can strengthen your bond and reignite the spark," Saiter suggests.

All in all, Saiter believes "seeking couples counseling can be a great step toward getting the conversation flowing," if you and your spouse are still having trouble finding the spark in your marriage.

Visit more of our stories about relationships for dating, friendship, and family tips!

"What would you do if your entire family, and your hometown, set you up to find love?" That's the question Ashley Williams poses in the first Small Town Setup trailer, coming to Hallmark+ in 2025. And if anyone has the answer, I have no doubt it's Hallmark — if anyone knows about warm, cozy, and sappy romance it's them! Even if you're not a huge reality dating show fan (or if you couldn't stop watching Reese Witherspoon's Love in Fairhope) this is one January TV show you won't want to miss.

Here's everything we know about Hallmark's dating show Small Town Setup, hosted by Ashley Williams.

'Small Town Setup' puts you right in a Hallmark movie.

All six episodes of Small Town Setup premieres on Hallmark+ on Thursday, January 2, 2025, and is hosted by Ashley Williams, who you'll recognize from movies like Falling Together and Two Tickets to Paradise as well as How I Met Your Mother.

Just like your favorite Hallmark movies are all about finding love, Small Town Setup focuses on singles coupling up. The show will follow a single who "has made it in the big city, but has yet to find love." And their concerned parents (definitely a Hallmark trope and an IRL trope...) get the whole neighborhood involved in finding three potential matches.

"When the singleton arrives home for a visit, they are presented with dating options curated by their hometown. After three dates, will they find love in their hometown? Or head back to the big city? All is revealed at a big town hall event, full of heart, warmth, and a few laughs along the way."

Okay, getting the entire town involved in my love life sounds crazy, but the whole community coming together for a town hall event sounds exactly like the kind of sweet and sappy event my life needs. (Listen!! Dating as a 20-something in the city is harder than I expected...)

Throughout the trailer we see our singles looking for love around their hometown, going on small town dates, and finding connection in the most unexpected places. Yeah...I'll be tuning in — especially since Small Town Setup is totally giving Gilmore Girls.

Check out the 11 New January 2025 Movies Viewers Will Adore — and you'll want to add to your calendar ASAP!

Having toxic friends, family members, or romantic partners in your life can feel like standing in the rain for hours on end. You usually feel drained of energy on top of being drenched in bad energy. Though it's clear you probably need to set boundaries, it's not always easy to decipher what you should say during a conversation where a narcissist is doing what they do best.

Clinical social worker, and Clinical Director of Villa Oasis San Diego, Michelle Beaupre, MSW, Ph.D., LCSW has helped clients navigate this very topic at different points in their lives and has 6 phrases you can say to either shut down a narcissist or let them know you're uninterested in their behavior.

6 things to say when a narcissist thinks they're getting the last word

1. What to say if your romantic partner makes you question whether you saw inappropriate texts on their phone

Alex Green

If I had things my way, gaslighting would be outlawed. Unfortunately, some people just can't seem to take responsibility for their actions, and they really love to make it everyone else's problem. Even more infuriatingly, it can appear in romantic relationships when one person is caught doing something that breaches the trust between them and their partner.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend spins a tale that makes you question what you’re sure you saw, try not to panic. Instead, take a page from Beaupre’s book. She suggests saying, “I’ll stand by what I know is true. If we need to agree to disagree, that’s fine, but I’m not going to let this change what I know or how I feel.”

She says doing this “shows them you’re not going to be swayed or pulled into their ‘game.’” It also helps “keep you grounded and firm, making it clear that their gaslighting isn’t going to work.” The more you stand your ground, the more someone is “less likely to continue trying to manipulate/control you,” according to her.

2. What to say when a friend keeps lying about their accomplishments

Pavel Danilyuk

This is a tricky one because you probably know one of your friends likes to embellish the truth a bit. It’s one of the things that used to be funny because they could always come up with a story on the spot. But, it can be confusing if you notice your friend tends to lie about something they’ve accomplished. Just don’t think you have to go out of your way to expose them though.

Beaupre says, “If it’s not harming anyone, sometimes it’s okay to leave it alone because, eventually, the truth will catch up to them anyway, and they will learn their lesson on their own.” But she says if you notice “their lies are causing major problems or hurting others,” speak up “gently.”

“You can ask them why they feel the need to lie, and if there’s something they’re struggling with that they might want to talk about,” she continues. Her suggestion is to say, “I’ve noticed that sometimes, you say things that don’t really add up, and I’m just wondering if there’s a reason. Is everything okay?”

3. What to say when someone complains about you setting boundaries

Pavel Danilyuk

If there’s one thing a narcissist can’t stand, it’s boundaries. If you know someone who has a tendency to overreact when you set them, Beaupre knows what you can say to them. “I’m not okay with how you’re reacting. If you can’t respect my limit, then I’m going to have to take a step back and distance myself,” she suggests.

She feels “this makes it clear that you’re serious about your boundaries.” Also, it signals that you “won’t let their reaction change what you need to feel respected, safe and secure.”

4. What to say if someone utters "I love you" after a few weeks of dating

Katerina Holmes

If only some of us would’ve asked this question during some of our prior relationships, we may have avoided unnecessary heartbreak. Should you find yourself faced with someone’s eager declarations of love early on, Beaupre wants you to “to be honest about how you feel and not feel pressured to say it back if you’re not ready.”

What you can say is, “Thank you. That means a lot, but I’m not there yet. Maybe one day, but not now.” By doing this, you’re not discrediting their emotions. Instead, you’re letting them “know you appreciate them and their feelings” while setting “the pace that works for you,” according to Beaupre. Please don't force yourself to feel something if you don't.

5. What to say when someone makes light of something or someone you're grieving

RDNE Stock project

This reminds us of one of the relationship red flags we recently dug into. We know why people say passive-aggressive things, but it's still painful no matter what the situation is. In the case of grieving, it's a hard no for us. Beaupre says, “In times like this, when you’re going through a lot of heavy emotions, it’s important to set a boundary for your peace.”

If you feel yourself questioning whether your feelings are valid, Beaupre says not to do that. "Don't let others downplay/dismiss what you’re feeling or going through, especially if it's something that's really taking a toll on you." What she urges you to say is, "I know you may not fully understand, but this is really important to me, and I need you to respect that.” In her opinion, it's a way of letting that person "know you're serious about protecting your emotional space without being confrontational."

And if they're still being a grade-A jerk about it? It may be time to limit the time you spend with them.

6. What to say if someone uses 'jokes' to constantly critique your appearance

SHVETS production

We think laughter is good for the soul, but not at the expense of hurting other people's feelings. This means no one should have the luxury of repeatedly commenting about the way you present yourself. Beaupre says, "If the way you look, what you’re wearing or how you speak isn’t hurting anyone, they really shouldn’t be commenting on it." Should you notice this unfortunate pattern in someone close to you, it's time to address it.

Beaupre wants you to try saying, "I’m fine with how I look and speak. You can let me know if there's a problem, but please don’t make me feel bad about it." That way, you can "set a clear limit about what you won't tolerate," according to her. She believes it's also a "chance to share any concerns without crossing into criticism or bullying."

Still, someone who refuses to stop disguising their obvious issues with you as harmless 'jokes' isn't someone who deserves a long-term spot in your life.

Scroll through more relationships stories to see how you should navigate everything from tense friendships to conversations about money.

Tourism can be a blessing for the economy of many cities around the world, but it often comes at a price. Destinations like Venice and Bali are iconic for a reason — they’re unique, breathtaking places that lure travelers from around the globe. But when a travel destination becomes too popular, it risks losing its charm and overcrowding can strain infrastructure, inflate costs for locals, and disrupt the peace and quiet of small, serene towns.

Here are 12 destinations that have struggled with overtourism. The good news? Many are implementing smart strategies to balance tourism with sustainability. Planning to visit? Consider booking during the off-season for a more authentic and enjoyable experience or try these hidden gems.

Pixabay

Venice, Italy

Cruise ships and swarms of tourists have overwhelmed this picturesque city, leading to overcrowded canals, damaged infrastructure, and skyrocketing prices. The local population is dwindling as Venetians leave due to the city’s unsustainable tourism boom. Last spring, in an effort to manage the influx, the city put into effect an entry fee for day-trippers and has limited cruise ships docking its shores.

Oleksandr P

Bali, Indonesia

Once an idyllic paradise, Bali now suffers from traffic congestion, environmental degradation, and overcrowded beaches. The island’s resources are strained under the weight of mass tourism, but there are efforts underway to promote sustainability like putting a moratorium on new hotels.

Willian Justen de Vasconcellos

Machu Picchu, Peru

Overtourism has led to erosion and damage to this ancient Incan citadel. A quota system and mandatory guides are helping preserve this popular South American destination.

Darren Lawrence

Tulum, Mexico

Once a tranquil paradise known for its pristine beaches, ancient Mayan ruins, and eco-chic vibe, Tulum has become a cautionary tale of overtourism. The surge in popularity, fueled by Instagram-worthy scenery, has brought overcrowding, environmental strain, and rising costs. The Guardianreported that locals are being pushed out by developers and despite the thinking that tourism helps local communities, poverty nearly doubled between 2015 and 2020. Local ecosystems, including fragile mangroves and coral reefs, are threatened by unchecked construction and pollution too. The local ruins have implemented stricter rules like no food or drink to limit trash and environmental impact from tourists.

Jimmy Teoh

Santorini, Greece

Instagram fame has turned this once-serene island into a tourist hotspot. Narrow streets are perpetually clogged, and locals are struggling with soaring costs of living due to tourism demand. The government has since capped the number of daily cruise ship visitors to keep overtourism at bay.

Chait Goli

Cinque Terre, Italy

Known for its colorful cliffside villages and breathtaking coastal views, these once-quiet fishing towns now see millions of visitors annually, way more than they can handle. To combat issues like congestion and cruise ships, local authorities have introduced visitor caps and encourage sustainable travel to protect Cinque Terre’s charm.

Rudy Kirchner

Reykjavík, Iceland

Is there anyone not going to Iceland these days? A small country with breathtaking landscapes, Iceland has been overwhelmed by tourists flocking to Instagram-famous sites like the Blue Lagoon and Diamond Beach. It's best to travel during the off season (November to April) and travel to lesser known spots like the Sturlungalaug hot spring.

youseflns

Maya Bay, Thailand (Phi Phi Islands)

This iconic beach, popularized by the DiCaprio film The Beach, suffered ecological devastation from hordes of visitors and anchored boats. Coral reefs were destroyed, and the beach was closed for years to allow recovery. It has since reopened after a huge revitalization project, but they have introduced visitor caps.

Pixabay

Kyoto, Japan

Traditionally quiet streets of this ancient capital city now teem with tourists during peak season. An increase in litter from tourists has required the city to install more trash bins to handle the crowds, and peaceful geishas are often chased down for photos. To mitigate the problem, Kyoto is considering running special buses to popular sites to reduce overcrowding, and temples and shrines are encouraging visitors to come early in the morning.

Prabin Sunar

Mount Everest, Nepal

The ultimate challenge for adventurers, Mount Everest has experienced overcrowding on the slopes and at base camps, leading to dangerous conditions, with litter and human waste piling up on the mountain. Permits are now harder to get, and stricter regulations for climbers are being enforced.

Mateusz Popek

Dubrovnik, Croatia

The Game of Thrones effect brought an influx of fans to this medieval city. Overcrowded streets and cruise ship arrivals have made it difficult to appreciate its beauty. The local government is taking steps to limit daily visitors and impose stricter cruise ship regulations.

Helena I

Lisbon, Portugal

Short-term rentals dominate the housing market now, thanks to affordable flights and the digital nomad craze. This has led to skyrocketing rents and displaced locals. Historic neighborhoods are inundated with tourists, making them less charming too. Everything from public transport to waste management struggles to keep pace with the influx. I went in December and it still felt a bit like Disneyland. Douro Valley and Madeira might be more favorable destinations any time of year.

Cure your wanderlust in 2025! Be sure to subscribe to our newsletter for more travel ideas!

Heaping plates of Christmas cookies are synonymous with the holidays. It seems that nearly every country around the globe has their own variation on the holiday classic. In fact, some of these regions have been making their version of Christmas cookies for literal hundreds of years.

If you’re looking for a way to reconnect with your heritage, or maybe just want a little baking inspiration, check out our picks for the yummiest Christmas cookies from around the world.

The Noshery

Mantecaditos con Guayaba

These may look like ordinary thumbprint cookies, but these almond shortbreads from Puerto Rico are filled with a special guava marmalade. (via The Noshery)

Broma Bakery

Meringues

French meringues are a classic crumbly egg white cookie with a chewy interior. These get an extra European twist with the addition of Nutella. (via Broma Bakery)

Pretty. Simple. Sweet.

Alfajores

Deeply flavored dulce de leche, a caramel made from whole milk commonly found in Spain and many Latin American countries, is the key ingredient in these super pretty sandwiched Christmas cookies. (via Pretty. Simple. Sweet.)

Fancy Peasant

Melomakarona

These Christmas cookies that hail from Greece get their sweetness from a generous soaking of fresh honey! (via Fancy Peasant)

Very Eatalian

Baci di Dama

The name of this Italian treat translates to “lady’s kisses” — how adorable is that? These bite-sized cuties are made with ground hazelnuts and filled with a dollop of dark chocolate. (via Very Eatalian)

Cooking Classy

Linzer Cookies

These Austrian Christmas cookies are typically made with raspberry jam, but feel free to get crazy with a filling of your choice. Plus, the gorgeous windowpane look will make them a prize takeaway at your next cookie exchange. (via Cooking Classy)

Olivia’s Cuisine

Basler Brunsli

If you’re hanging out in Switzerland around Christmas time, you’ll definitely see these chocolate treats around. They’re often described as Swiss brownies due to their deliciously chewy texture. Perfect with a cup of eggnog or coffee! (via Olivia’s Cuisine)

Cilantro Parsley

Buñuelos

These tender miniature fritters from Mexico are a mix between a donut and cookie. Whatever you want to call them, they’re delicious. (via Cilantro Parsley)

Chef Lindsey Farr

Apricot Kolachys

The Hungarians definitely know what’s up when tart apricot jam gets wrapped in a blanket of flaky pastry. They’re a bright spot on a cold Christmas day. (via Chef Lindsey Farr)

Life, Love and Sugar

Cutout Sugar Cookies

In the United States, a plate of these festively decorated sugar cookies is just what Santa ordered. (via Life, Love and Sugar)

Saveur

Polvorones

You’ll find these simple pecan shortbread cookies all over Mexico around this time of year. The coating of powdered sugar and canela, a type of Mexican cinnamon, really bring the flavor to the next level. (via Saveur)

A Healthy Life for Me

Pignoli

These Italian Christmas cookies are made of a chewy almond base and topped with pine nuts. (via A Healthy Life for Me)

Fancy Peasant

Kourabiedes

These Greek Christmas cookies feature a buttery biscuit topped with mass amounts of powdered sugar. (via Fancy Peasant)

Does your family have a traditional cookie recipe for the holidays? Tag us @BritandBo in your Instagram photos and let us know!

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

Lead image via Pretty. Simple. Sweet.