How To Respectfully Decline Being A Bridesmaid Without Ending A Friendship

How To Decline Being A Bridesmaid

27 Dresses is a fun story until you think about how much Jane (Kathryn Heigl) spent for each and every one of those weddings. There are engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry — I mean the list of costly responsibilities goes on and on and on. Imagine doing that 27 times.

Wedding events aren't just a casual affair anymore either — the financial obligations for wedding guests and bridal parties continue to rise steadily. According to a 2023 study from The Knot, the average cost of a bridesmaid's dress is $130. Business Insider reports that you can expect to spend $1,200 for bachelorette parties on average. Just being a wedding guest alone has an average price tag of $580, according to another study by The Knot. Suddenly, from your dress to the destination bach to the delicate (and likely expensive) stemware you got the couple as a gift, you're potentially spending thousands of dollars on a wedding that's not even your own.

And while you likely love the bride asking you to be in her wedding party very much...is there a way you can politely decline? Especially if you're trapped for cash or trying to save for a major financial goal? HerFirst100k's Tori Dunlap would like to think so! And it doesn't have to be this friendship-altering event either. With Dunlap's tips, you should be well on your way to the happy couple's good graces without paying an arm and a leg to earn it.

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics

When turning down a bridesmaid offer, Dunlap suggest using the "sandwich method" here — AKA saying something complimentary, giving the bad news, and ending on another positive, complimentary note. Seems simple enough, right?

She suggest saying, "I'm so excited for your wedding! Thank you so much for thinking of me! I am so honored. However, at this time I really can't afford the commitment of being a bridesmaid, but I would love to support you in any other way I can."

With this phrasing Dunlap says you're accomplishing three key things:

  1. Setting expectations
  2. Validating the friendship
  3. Maintaining your own financial boundaries
In doing this, you're ensuring that you've done and said everything you can kindly and upfront so that you don't leave the bride on the hook or disappointed. This should keep your relationship in tact — and if it doesn't, that maybe says more about the situation than your polite decline. Regardless, now you don't have to worry about going into debt for someone else's wedding, so you're able to spend mindfully and maintain your personal finance goals.

How would you decline being a bridesmaid? Let us know in the comments, and follow the convo on Facebook!

Header image via Caleb Oquendo

We've all been there — your wallet finally recovered post-holidays in the first quarter of the year, only for you to slowly creep into over-spend mode yet again as summer fun takes over. Those ebbs and flows are totally normal, but sometimes it just means you have to pause and take a moment for a little mid-year financial reset so you don't totally lose sight of your goals.

Tori Dunlap, author of NYT bestseller Financial Feminist and the money expert behind @herfirst100k, has some helpful tips if you're trying to get back on financial track. Instead of cutting off fun cold turkey, here's how you can take stock of what you have, readjust your goals, and still spend on the fun stuff while also putting your best financial foot forward. Here are three questions Dunlap wants you to ask during your mid-year financial reset to accomplish this!

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics

1. Were my financial goals reasonable?

Dunlap suggests that chances are...they weren't. Saving a million dollars in a month probably isn't realistic, and sometimes saving one hundred dollars in a month isn't either. It all depends on your circumstances — what you're bringing in (income) and what's going out (bills, cost of living, etc). Take note of what you're working with so you can adjust accordingly.

Photo by Joslyn Pickens

2. How do I need to optimize to be able to achieve those goals?

Sometimes you can make simple changes in your spending, but other times you may need to re-evaluate your money goals a little bit. Dunlap suggests asking, "What is the new goal that I need to set that is actually achievable?"

Sit down with your expenditures, actually find out what's left over from paycheck to paycheck after you pay your bills, and set your goals from there. Once you approach money in a way that makes sense for you, you're more likely to follow the plan.

Photo by Marcus Aurelius

3. What plan am I actually gonna do to achieve those goals?

Dunlap is adamant that "a goal without a plan is just a wish." And she's right! We can hope and dream for the million dollar savings account all we want, but if we want to make that happen, then we need to kick it into high gear with some action. Not just any action either — intentional, well-thought out choices that you can put in motion with the plan you set for yourself. This could include, but isn't limited to:

  1. Knowing what you're saving for — vacation, wedding, house, retirement, etc — and putting a name to it.
  2. Automating your savings by having a specific amount of your paycheck deposited right into your savings account.
  3. Setting a "going out budget" so you can still enjoy rooftop cocktails and other fun with your friends within reason and without overspending.

Looking for more money advice? Be sure to follow the conversation on Instagram!

Header image via Karolina Kaboompics

We're just a little over four months away from the premiere of Gladiator 2and the anticipation is real. It's no secret that we've been imagining what Paul Mescal will look like while he's in battle, but we were admittedly unprepared for the first look at him as Lucius. Just typing the name makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe even spicy.

But Vanity Fairtruly gave us a treat because they shared even more BTS looks at the Gladiator 2 cast. By the looks of it, this movie is going be the pre-Thanksgiving treat we talk about over dinner.

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We just have one question: Is it too late to apply to be extras in Gladiator 2? Based on Paul Mescal's muscles, it appears his character Lucius has been training for the exact moment he'll enter the area to fight his opponents.

Just look at his stance in the first image. That is the stance of a confident man who's strategically planning how to take down whoever dares to approach him with malicious intent in their eyes.

Aside from that, we're excited to see Pedro Pascal, Connie Nielsen, Denzel Washington, and Joseph Quinn lose themselves in their characters. Speaking of Joseph Quinn, we almost didn't recognize him as Emperor Geta!

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Lucius definitely looks like he knows how to skillfully wield a sword — and do serious damage to his opponents. Also, there's something in his eyes that signals he is not there to lose.

No one ever said being a gladiator would be easy, but a part of us wishes we could be the extras that wipe the blood and sweat from Lucius' brow after each battle. Alas, we'll just have to pine for him from afar.

We hope you have as much fun scrolling through Vanity Fair's first look at Gladiator 2 as we are.

P.S. We won't tell anyone if you screenshot a few of these pics...for research.

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Lead image via Jeff Spicer/Getty Images

You've already picked your wedding date and the close friends you want to be by your side on your special day, but there's still one thing you need to do: sort through bridesmaid gift ideas! While you don't have to go all-out with a bridesmaid "proposal" gift basket (though those are super cute), I'm a firm believer in showing people how much you appreciate them (and their time) by sometimes surprising them with a gift or two. Don't know where to start? I've got you're back. Here are 12 sweet bridesmaid gift ideas, from adorable accessories to beloved beauty products, that'll be remembered for a lifetime!

Fujifilm UO Exclusive INSTAX MINI 12 Instant Camera

One really lovely bridesmaid gift you can gift someone is this compact instant camera! It has a built-in selfie mirror, comes with flash control for the perfect exposure, and will totally remind you of all your fave Instagram pics circa 2014. Plus, your friend will get super cute pics in less than 10 seconds!

Skims Hotel Shine Short Sleeve Button Up Sleep Set (Snow)

If your maid of honor can't stop talking about Bridgerton, surprise her with a sleep set that she can comfortably lounge in while binge watching every season. The drawstring shorts have an elastic waist so she'll be able to adjust them as she pleases.

Peas Pink Memory Custom Fluffy Slippers

Who doesn't love fluffy slippers? They'll definitely be appreciated the morning of your wedding as you and your bridesmaids are getting ready, but I'd like to think their wear goes way beyond one day. And when they're personalized, your bridesmaids will know you took great care to get this thoughtful gift for them.

If you want, you can even get yourself a pair so everyone can take cute and coordinated 'getting ready' pics!

Papier Tulip Vase Wellness Journal

Everyone could use a little self-care, especially the bridesmaid who seems to have her hands full with everything from Pilates to being a full-time entrepreneur. She'll find 12-weeks of pages geared towards tracking her goals, habits, and anything she's extremely grateful for.

Olive & Piper Mini Bordeaux Stud Earrings (Gold)

The bride isn't the only one who should get something shiny and sparkly! Surprise your matron of honor — or any of your bridal party — with these gorgeous earrings the morning of your wedding to let her know how much you appreciate her.

They're hypoallergenic and nickel-free, so she doesn't have to worry about having an allergic reaction while wearing them.

Mint & Lily Personalized Tie the Knot Bracelet

Have a bridesmaid who can't get enough of customizing virtually everything she owns? Show her that you've noticed by surprising her with this 'Tie the Knot' bracelet! It's made of waterproof stainless steel, comes with a personalized charm, and has a high rating of 4.7 stars on Mint & Lily!

Benevolence LA Store Plush Velvet Jewelry Box (Emerald Green)

I'm sure we all have that one friend who complains about misplacing her favorite dainty necklaces and earrings. Take the weight off her shoulders by gifting her this plush velvet jewelry box!

Topicals Faded Under Eye Brightening & Clearing Eye Masks

Did one of your bridesmaids enjoy your bachelorette party a little too much and has dark circles the morning of your wedding? Tell her not to panic because you've got a tiny gift for her in the form of Topicals Brightening & Clearing Eye Masks! They're hydrating and plumping so all signs of the night before will disappear after tosses these on!

Yes Way Rosé, Southern France

Bridesmaid gift ideas roundup wouldn't be complete without a little booze — especially when it's a pretty bottle of rosé that's budget-friendly! It tastes like crisp rose with notes of ripe strawberry, citrus, and stone fruit so she'll be sipping on something that feels delicious as well as refreshing.

Gold Belly Arabesque — Box of 42 Macarons

You can never go wrong with a pretty box of gluten-free macarons! Some of the flavors your bridesmaid can enjoy munching on are:

  • Blackcurrant Violet
  • Caramel, Chocolate
  • Coffee, Lemon
  • Marie-Antoinette
  • Orange Blossom
  • Pistachio
  • Raspberry
  • Rose
  • Strawberry Candy
  • Vanilla

Simple Modern Trek 40oz Stainless Steel Lidded Tumbler Powder Coat (Pink)

It's not cliché to carry around a stainless steel tumbler anymore, especially if you have a bridesmaid who's known for slipping into her walking shoes and keeping up with her water intake on a daily basis. This one's a little less pricey than a Stanley, which really helps if you're buying one for every bridesmaid.

BÉIS 'The Medium Check-In Roller Suitcase (Atlas Pink)

If you're having a destination wedding and don't have a huge bridal party, surprise them with their very own BÉIS Atlas Pink carry-on roller suitcases! This expandable suitcase has a welcomed TSA lock, 360 degree wheels, and has the best interior organization I've ever seen.

I'm sure this will be one of the top bridesmaid gift ideas your wedding party will thank you for!

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Your first weekly horoscope for July is in, and there's a lot of good stuff coming your way! As we dive deeper into the warm embrace of Cancer season, it's time to bask in the celestial glow of Venus cruising through the sign of the Crab. This week isn't just about soaking up the sun; it's a cosmic invitation to delve into what truly lights up our hearts and brings us joy.

Whether planning beach getaways with friends, cozying up with a loved one for a movie night, or simply relishing some solo time under the stars, this is your time to shine. So, grab your sunglasses, pull out your favorite summer playlist, and let's continue to venture on this path of self-discovery and joy. Let the warmth of the season and the guiding light of Venus lead you to moments that fill your heart to the brim.

With that in mind, here's what all you can expect in your weekly horoscope!

Weekly Horoscope Themes For July 1-7

Tanya Staton

This week presents opportunities to explore our relationships and things that bring happiness. The love planet Venus is in the sign of Cancer, and it will be our guiding celestial body, shedding light on where we are in our journey regarding relationships and emotional security. Like last week, the best course in navigating Cancer season is to align primarily with your heart and intuition to help narrow down the root of your needs.

Listen carefully before reacting.

We begin the week by focusing on deepening our emotional connections and commitments, as Venus is in sextile with Juno on July 1. If you are in a relationship, your union will turn toward harmony as you engage in heartfelt discussions while factoring in compassion for past misunderstandings. If you're not in a relationship and need to make amends with anyone else who pulls your heartstrings, you can get to the source of your disconnect. If this isn't possible, write a letter, journal, or meditate on what you desire to release to attract peace.

Energetically, you will experience a breakthrough in your love story as you open your heart.

The veil begins to lift as Neptune's retrograde starts on July 2. It will remain in this backspin motion until October 11. You are encouraged to reflect on your spiritual beliefs and intentions in life. Slow down and assess your approach to living your authentic self while becoming aligned with your soul. This retrograde period also invites you to reassess your dreams and bring the truth to light regarding unresolved matters. On the same day, Mercury enters Leo, infusing you with the ability to articulate your ideas with confidence and charisma. If you're also in need of star power in your relationship, this day will fully support you if you wish to initiate a conversation regarding structure and intention with Venus in trine to Saturn. Prioritize your responsibilities while narrowing down what's needed to create stability in your love life. It will also be favorable to solidify your bonds and make practical investments.

On July 3, be mindful of intense communications and power struggles as Mercury opposes Pluto. This aspect may bring hidden tensions to the surface, urging you to navigate through deep psychological insights and potential conflicts. Then, the New Moon in Cancer on July 5 marks a powerful new beginning in matters of home, family, and emotional security. Set intentions for nurturing relationships and creating a supportive environment for personal growth. Factor intuition and perform a manifestation ritual involving what you desire within your emotional security.

Healing in relationships takes center stage on July 6 with Venus square Chiron. This planetary duo highlights vulnerabilities and past wounds, encouraging you to hold a compassionate space for yourself and others. This day will show how to step into your self-acceptance regarding unresolved issues. Let go and believe in your light as you focus on the good you have done solo or in a partnership. Observe your relationship dynamics with empathy and openness to facilitate healing and growth. July 7 brings surprises and opportunities for excitement in both love and creativity with Venus sextile Uranus. Expect a flash of insight or inspiration that will ignite innovation and spontaneity in your relationships and artistic endeavors. Mercury sextile Jupiter on the same day will boost your mental agility, bringing optimism and positive communication. This aspect supports learning, travel, and sharing ideas, making it an excellent time for broadening your perspective and seeking new opportunities. Overall, this week invites deep emotional insights, healing in relationships, and expansive growth in creativity and communication. Stay open to new experiences and embrace the transformative energies at play.

Key Transits This Week

Claire Craig

  • 7/1 Venus sextile Juno
  • 7/2 Neptune Retrograde, Mercury enters Leo, Venus trine Saturn
  • 7/3 Mercury opposite Pluto
  • 7/5 New Moon in Cancer
  • 7/6 Venus square Chiron
  • 7/7 Venus sextile Uranus, Mercury sextile Jupiter

Read Your Sun, Moon, & Rising Signs For Your Weekly Horoscope

Paula Sotomayor

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Prepare to set your priorities in order, Aries. This week, you can strengthen your family bonds and find security in your home life. Mercury's shift into Leo will power up your creativity and stimulate endless sweet nothings with your beloved. Rekindling the fire in your love life will begin as you solidify your terms. Midweek, be mindful of your choice of words or messages when Mercury opposes Pluto. Be the observer in this scenario and avoid jumping to conclusions. Then, the New Moon in Cancer will open a new chapter for you that invites intentions for nurturing domestic harmony and emotional well-being. This cosmic event will seal the deal of powering up your manifestation game when you set a new and intentional path involving your emotional comfort and security.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Expect to be a busybody this week, Taurus. This is your time to focus on your genuine connections while powering up your self-expression. As Venus textiles Juno, your social calendar will be filled, or you will experience fun-filled conversations with friends or siblings as Venus sextiles Juno. If single, go to a local fair or singles event – it can be your lucky week to make a connection. As Neptune retrograde happens, this is your time to reflect on your aspirations and to get involved with the community. Focus on service to get inspired. Make practical decisions regarding your spending and learn how to budget for your future when Venus trines Saturn. The New Moon in Cancer prompts fresh starts in learning new skills or communication ventures.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

What does security mean for you, Gemini? Your focus this week will be on how you can claim financial stability while powering up your self-worth. Venus sextile Juno encourages discussions and investments, ensuring security in your material resources. Name your terms. Reflect on your personal beliefs and communication style as Neptune retrogrades, scoping your ideas with philosophical ideals and enhancing self-expression. It is time to accept the life you have built and analyze what needs to change. As Venus trines Saturn this week, you will make sense of your past ideas and be able to utilize them for financial gain. Revisit the root of your passions to help you get started. As an extra boost to your future venture, the New Moon in Cancer initiates a new path for you to pursue stability while gaining confidence in pursuing your goals that align with your heart.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Your birthday month continues, Cancer! Who do you want to be? The early part of the week will grant you cosmic stardust to help you express your true self while nurturing your emotional well-being. As Venus sextiles Juno, your charisma will level up, and your connections will deepen with your local connections. Your voice will strengthen as you communicate from a heartfelt space. The Neptune retrograde will reset your approach to life and help you reignite your sacred self. Begin a meditation practice, go to a sacred place, or start setting goals that involve travel or enhanced study. You also turn over a new leaf as the New Moon shines in your sign, igniting a fresh start in your personal growth and confidence. Believe in your light, and know you shine even stronger as you remain open and receptive to the Universe

Ajaila Walker

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Are you ready to roar loud and proud, Leo? This week will be cathartic regarding how you approach your unhealed insecurities as Venus sextiles Juno, and your intuition and connectedness to the Universe will magnify. You will understand the root of what needs healing and acceptance. Mercury's presence in your sign will power up your voice and grant you the confidence you need to pursue your dreams. The Neptune retrograde upgrades your understanding of how your energy works. Begin your process of inner work or self-care practices that involve vulnerability and energy work. The New Moon in Cancer infuses renewal into your dreams and subconscious realms. Slow down and become selective in how you extend your energy. Know and fall in love with yourself again.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Are you in love, Virgo? Get ready to open your heart and deepen your connections. It's time to ignite the spark back into your life, and it all begins from the inside. Venus sextile Juno will grant you the space to build solidity in your connections with friends and networks. This week will be golden as you take a chance. A Neptune retrograde in your relationship sector will lift the veil regarding your commitments with partners. Truthful exchanges lead to progression in your story. If you feel stagnancy regarding your aspirations, things will change as the New Moon in Cancer revamps your vitality to pursue your goals. Like a boss, step out of your comfort zone and try a new approach to attract the desired changes.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Get ready to witness a paradigm shift, Libra. Expect to feel magnetic and inspired to take on challenges that will get you one step closer to your goals. Your love planet, Venus, in sextile with Juno, will revamp your profession and elevate you to a different status. As Neptune retrograde begins, it prompts you to slow down and review your daily routines and working environment. What needs to change? As you cater to your mind, body, and spiritual needs, you will witness positive changes in your life. Luckily, the New Moon in Cancer will spark a fresh opportunity in your career. It's time to launch a project, extend a pitch, or step into a more defined position. You are ready.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Do you believe in magic, Scorpio? This week, witness the quintessential upgrades in your connectedness to life and love. Whatever you set your eyes on, your life will begin to pan out better. Venus sextile Juno will extend support and authentic connections with friends or networks. Reach out and express your passions. Neptune retrograde will slow down your processes and enable you to see clearly what you truly desire in love and creative pursuits. Still yourself and observe your inner world to help clear out any unresolved dealings. A new wave of inspiration awaits regarding your personal development and self-improvement. The New Moon in Cancer will empower you to elevate your life by exploring new paths of spirituality and approaches to life. Step out of the mundane, open your heart, and explore the unknown.

Carla Candace

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Wearing your heart on your sleeve isn't your kryptonite, Sagittarius. It is your strength and outlet in forming bonds with others. This week will extend an open window for you to deepen connections with those who genuinely care for your well-being. Venus sextile Juno will extend its support for you to name your terms with authority figures, and by truthfully expressing your needs, it will lead to promotional opportunities or knowing where you stand in your career. Build your case. Neptune retrograde marks the beginning of you retracing your family connections, reflecting on emotional wounds, and rebuilding your sense of self. The New Moon in Cancer will let you focus on your inner needs and root down your intentions moving forward.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Lost in translation lately, Capricorn? The good news is that this week, you will have the opportunity to clear the air or hash it out with those you are wondering about. Mercury in Leo will grant cosmic support to you to narrow down the details of what has been confusing you about intimacy or resources. Allow your intuition to be your guide. Neptune retrograde will allow you to slow down your mental processes and help you connect with receptive messages from the Universe. Anything that has been hovering in your imagination will be retrieved seamlessly. Start writing or begin an artistic endeavor to consolidate results. The New Moon in Cancer grants you the chance to turn over a new leaf in committed partnerships. Focus on harmony and integrate empathy in the course of your new chapter.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

If only people can get inside your head and keep up with your brilliance, Aquarius. You will have to fly solo this week and keep doing you. Venus sextile Juno will power up your productivity and ability to strategize your long-term plans, financially or romantically. Take notes about your plans and share them with those you can trust later. Things are about to get interesting as Neptune retrograde will compel you to dial down your spending habits and break free from illusions such as materialism. Focus on the bigger picture and avoid divulging into frivolity. The New Moon in Cancer extends a new approach to your health and daily routines. Now is your chance to begin a wellness goal and rebalance your approach to life.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Are you ready to take a chance on your heart, Pisces? This week is brimming with signs from the Universe that you have the green light to focus on your desires. As Venus sexiles Juno, your dreams become the source of your strength, and you hold the key to making it happen. It all begins in a single word or step. Neptune retrograde in your sign will enable you to be the channel of your life decisions while helping you face your fears involving who you are and your plans. The New Moon in Cancer initiates new beginnings in your creative endeavors or love story, hinting you to factor in your joy as the source behind your motivation. You have come so far in your journey, and remind yourself that you deserve all the happiness in the world and more. Believe.

Looking for your own astrology advice? Submit your questions for Ask Lumi here!

Header image by Madison Hoopman

If there’s one aspect of Harry Potter that has stuck with me all these years, it’s the snacks. Butterbeer! Pumpkin juice! The Hogwarts Express Trolley! Every time I watch any of my favorite Harry Potter movies, I can’t help but crave sweets. If you’re in the same boat (AKA you need a trip to The Three Broomsticks, like, yesterday), then you absolutely must check out Food Network’s new Harry Potter baking show. Not only is Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking being hosted by two of the movies' actors, but it's also being filmed at the studios you know and love. Whip up some Harry Potter cocktails and let's get baking!

What is the wizarding world cooking show?

RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking is a baking competition show that's all about the Wizarding World. According to the official Instagram announcement, "pastry chefs will craft spellbinding sweet creations inspired by the @wizardingworld of @HarryPotter." We're in for endless chocolate frogs, polyjuice potions, and butterbeers.

The best part is that the series will be filmed at the Warner Bros. Studio in London (which, FYI, is where all the movies were filmed), which makes the show even more magical!

When is the Harry Potter baking show coming out?

Anastasia Ankudinova/Pexels

We know the show is coming later this year, but we don't have an official release date quite yet. Considering September 1 is Back to Hogwarts Day, the fall and the holidays are the perfect time for Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking to air!

Where can I watch Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking?

Taryn Elliott/Pexels

Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking will premiere on Food Network, and it'll be available to stream on Max.

Who's hosting Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking?

Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

The new Harry Potter baking show will be hosted by James and Oliver Phelps, who played the Weasley twins in the movies! We're also in for some special guests, which I hope includes other members of the Harry Potter cast. Somebody get Bonnie Wright, Emma Watson, and Tom Felton on the phone puh-lease.

What movie sets will be in the Harry Potter baking show?

Annie Maher/Unsplash

The official description says we'll see Hogwarts' Great Hall, Platform 9¾, Gringotts Wizarding Bank, and The Burrow, among other sets, props, and costumes.

Which Harry Potter recipe do you hope to see onscreen? Let us know in the comments and check out 23 Harry Potter-Inspired Treat Recipes to Get You Pumped for the Yule Ball.

Lead image via Warner Bros Entertainment