How To Respectfully Decline Being A Bridesmaid Without Ending A Friendship

How To Decline Being A Bridesmaid

27 Dresses is a fun story until you think about how much Jane (Kathryn Heigl) spent for each and every one of those weddings. There are engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry — I mean the list of costly responsibilities goes on and on and on. Imagine doing that 27 times.

Wedding events aren't just a casual affair anymore either — the financial obligations for wedding guests and bridal parties continue to rise steadily. According to a 2023 study from The Knot, the average cost of a bridesmaid's dress is $130. Business Insider reports that you can expect to spend $1,200 for bachelorette parties on average. Just being a wedding guest alone has an average price tag of $580, according to another study by The Knot. Suddenly, from your dress to the destination bach to the delicate (and likely expensive) stemware you got the couple as a gift, you're potentially spending thousands of dollars on a wedding that's not even your own.

And while you likely love the bride asking you to be in her wedding party very much...is there a way you can politely decline? Especially if you're trapped for cash or trying to save for a major financial goal? HerFirst100k's Tori Dunlap would like to think so! And it doesn't have to be this friendship-altering event either. With Dunlap's tips, you should be well on your way to the happy couple's good graces without paying an arm and a leg to earn it.

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics

When turning down a bridesmaid offer, Dunlap suggest using the "sandwich method" here — AKA saying something complimentary, giving the bad news, and ending on another positive, complimentary note. Seems simple enough, right?

She suggest saying, "I'm so excited for your wedding! Thank you so much for thinking of me! I am so honored. However, at this time I really can't afford the commitment of being a bridesmaid, but I would love to support you in any other way I can."

With this phrasing Dunlap says you're accomplishing three key things:

  1. Setting expectations
  2. Validating the friendship
  3. Maintaining your own financial boundaries
In doing this, you're ensuring that you've done and said everything you can kindly and upfront so that you don't leave the bride on the hook or disappointed. This should keep your relationship in tact — and if it doesn't, that maybe says more about the situation than your polite decline. Regardless, now you don't have to worry about going into debt for someone else's wedding, so you're able to spend mindfully and maintain your personal finance goals.

How would you decline being a bridesmaid? Let us know in the comments, and follow the convo on Facebook!

Header image via Caleb Oquendo

HSA isn’t just for prescriptions and doctor’s visits – there’s actually a ton of things you can buy with your savings. Blue light glasses and sunscreen are commonly HSA eligible, but a lot of people don’t know you can also finesse fancy spa visits and life-changing massage guns (I’m looking at you, Theragun) with their HSA dollars. Some of these items are also FSA eligible, so if you’ve got some funds to use before they expire at the end of the year, you’ve come to the right place!

Your HSA funds can do way more than you think. Check out these 14 unexpectedly fun health-related finds to help you step up your self-care!

What is HSA?

Polina Tankilevitch / PEXELS

HSA stands for Health Savings Account, a type of savings account that lets you set aside funds to pay for qualified medical expenses. HSAs are often available as a part of health insurance plans, though banks and credit unions offer them, too.

What can I buy with an HSA?

Kaboompics / PEXELS

You can buy a lot more with your HSA funds than you think: menstrual products, over-the-counter medicines, sunscreen, and travel to and from medical appointments are just some of the things you can buy with an HSA.

Is HSA worth it?

Kaboompics / PEXELS

Whether an HSA is worth it is really dependent on your needs. There are some nice advantages associated with it, though. You may be able to lower your out of pocket costs for medical needs. Plus, the funds are not taxed, so you may be able to save more. Unlike an FSA (Flexible Spending Account), HSA funds roll over year-over-year, so you don't have to worry about it expiring.

Should I max my HSA?

Pixabay / PEXELS

Maxing out your HSA to your account's annual maximum amount via monthly contributions can be beneficial if your goals are to save money and limit out of pocket costs for medical care. You can also opt to invest some of your HSA funds, which can be a smart decision for saving for things like family planning or retirement.

Amazon

Sunscreen

Per Cigna, sunscreen counts as a reimbursable HSA purchase. SPF is super important for skin cancer prevention, plus wearing it regularly can reduce signs of aging – a win-win!

Amazon

Hatch Alarm Clock

The famed Hatch Restore alarm clock is both HSA and FSA eligible. It's a superb tool for going to bed soundly and waking up feeling refreshed as ever!

TomboyX

Period Underwear

Menstrual care and feminine hygiene products are also HSA eligible. Cigna says this category may include tampons, pads, liners, cups, sponges, and similar items, like period underwear!

Amazon

Theragun

This luxurious massage gun is both FSA and HSA eligible! It's truly life-changing for relieving muscle soreness and tightness. Therabody's other devices like the Theragun PRO Plus, Theragun Sense, and Theragun Relief are also eligible.

Amazon

Oura Ring

This fitness tracker ring is FSA and HSA eligible – it can help you keep tabs on your sleep, activity, stress, heart rate and more.

Amazon

Breathing Strips

According to Cigna, breathing strips are HSA eligible, plus you don't need a doctor's prescription for reimbursement.

Amazon

Electric Toothbrush

Electric toothbrushes are HSA eligible and reimbursable with a medical diagnosis. This model in particular cleans way better than a regular toothbrush, expertly supporting your oral health.

Amazon

Essential Oils

Essential oils are HSA-covered with a medical diagnosis. Certain oils can help relieve stress, anxiety, physical pain, and nausea, and aid in better sleep.

Amazon

Hand Sanitizer

Hand sanitizers of any kind are also surprisingly HSA eligible. We love these sprays from Touchland because they're cute, easily portable, and smell delicious.

Amazon

Humidifiers

Humidifiers are indeed HSA eligible – the moisture they put out into the surrounding air can relieve respiratory issues, common colds, and even reduce snoring.

Amazon

Air Purifiers

Similarly, air purifiers are eligible because they can help remove airborne contaminants and viruses that cause allergies and disease.

Anna Tarazevich / PEXELS

Spa Trips

In the case you're prescribed a lovely visit to a spa or resort by a physician for medical treatment, the only part that's covered by HSA are the services you receive while you're there. The cost of transportation is not eligible for reimbursement.

Amazon

Blue Light Glasses

Blue light glasses are covered by HSA; lenses like these block out blue light from screens which helps prevent eye strain and fatigue.

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If there's one thing I love to see, it's celebrities going makeup-free. And I'll celebrate it every single time! In addition to Drew Barrymore taking her makeup off on live TV (and throwing her extensions on the ground) and Millie Bobby Brown showing off her acne in selfies, Lady Gaga loves to go makeup-free. Remember when she performed at the Oscars with no makeup and ripped jeans?! Well the actress and singer just posted another adorable selfie without a stitch of makeup.

Here's what Lady Gaga had to say about "Die With A Smile" alongside her no-makeup selfie.

Lady Gaga is "so grateful" the song is #1.

To celebrate "Die With A Smile" (her song with Bruno Mars) hitting number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100, Lady Gaga posted a photo of her laying in the grass with a huge grin on her face — and without any makeup.

"Thank you to all of the monsters and hooligans for helping make 'Die With A Smile' #1 on the Billboard Hot 100! We love you and are so grateful," she says in the post. "Having multiple songs of mine hit #1 across three decades feels surreal, and I am overwhelmed by the love and support you have shown me from the beginning. I have so much more in store for you and can’t wait to share it."

Friends and fans flooded the comments with everyone from Noah Cyrus saying, "you’re so gorgeous," to a fan account adding, "Thank you for your art! So proud of you and Bruno. You deserve this!"

And she loved recording it with Bruno Mars!

The song was released on August 16, and in a statement to Page Six, Lady Gaga praised Bruno Mars as a collaborator. “Bruno and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other and were talking about collaborating,” she says. “I was finishing up my own album in Malibu, and one night after a long day he asked me to come to his studio to hear something he was working on...It was around midnight when I got there, and I was blown away when I heard what he had started making.”

After revealing they "stayed up all night” to finish both writing and recording it, Lady Gaga continues, “Bruno’s talent is beyond explanation. His musicianship and vision is next level. There’s no one like him." There's no one like you either Gaga!

Has "Die With A Smile" been on repeat for you? Let us know your favorite Lady Gaga song on Instagram!

Just how expensive is it to have a baby in 2024? One woman sharing her experience on social media has sparked a much-needed conversation about financial transparency when it comes to starting (or growing) a family.

Josephine Anderson, who posted a video on her Instagram @fosterthevalley, outlined the costs of her uncomplicated vaginal birth, and TBH, it was shocking.

The financial breakdown of her experience (with Cigna for insurance):

  • Routine office visits (including 2 ultrasounds): $1,266
  • Labs: $3,440.81
  • NIPT genetic testing: $15,319.36
  • Anatomy scan: $1,270
  • RhoGam: $360
  • Hospital for mom: $23,722.10
  • Hospital for baby: $7,402.80
  • OBGYN for delivery: $5,000
  • Epidural: $5,720
  • Breastfeeding support: $2,589.78
  • Pediatrician: $209
That all racks up to a whopping total of $66,299.85. After insurance was factored in (her deductible was $3,000 while her max out-of-pocket for in-network expenses was $11,000), the total cost for her uncomplicated vaginal birth was $4,788.98. Forbes Advisor reports the average cost of having a baby in 2024 is $2,854.

Instagram

Josephine’s video warranted thousands of comments, most of which were appalled by the costs of her experience:

“This needs to be shared in SexEd classes,” one commenter wrote.

“The US medical system is BROKEN,” another said.

“And people are still confused why more women are choosing to remain child free… we literally can’t afford it,” another user commented.

Mart Production / PEXELS

Brit + Co spoke with Wendy Colson RN, IBCLC and CEO/Founder of BOOBIE Superfoods to gauge if Josephine’s costs were typical for the care she received. Colson has significant insight into how insurance works not only from an employer’s perspective, but from personal experience as a patient with breast cancer.

“The $4,788.98 net amount she mentions is realistic given that her deductible was $3,000. If she had chosen a plan with a $1,000 deductible – which is a common ceiling for good coverage – the same scenario would have cost her around $2,789,” Colson said. “The video highlights the importance of understanding what you're getting with an insurance plan, especially when you anticipate major life events like childbirth.”

Sarah Chai / PEXELS

Colson primarily attributes unanticipated costs for medical care (like in Josephine’s case) to patients that choose their insurance plans with, well, no real plan.

“Many [people] opt for the [plan] with the lowest paycheck deductions without fully evaluating the benefits,” Colson said.

There’s often a tradeoff between paying less per paycheck and receiving your desired benefits: for example, if you elect to contribute less money towards your insurance per paycheck, you may end up paying more out of pocket for things like doctor’s office visits and prescriptions.

“Making an informed choice is key to saving money in the long run,” Colson continued. “In short, it's crucial to consider both the immediate costs (like paycheck deductions) and the potential future costs (like deductibles and copays) when choosing an insurance plan.”

Anna Shvets / PEXELS

Another major cost Josephine mentions in her video was 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave, which cost her a total of $18,000 (in lost income).

Per the passing of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) in 1993, moms have a legal right to up to 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave. The U.S. Department of Labor notes that the act was designed to help employees balance their work and family responsibilities, accommodate the legitimate interests of employers, and promote equal employment opportunity for men and women.

Matilda Wormwood / PEXELS

It all sounds great until you realize the time off is indeed unpaid, which doesn't really aid in the amount of money parents end up owing after all is said and done in the pregnancy and childbirth processes.

Only 13 states plus the District of Columbia offer paid maternity leave. When you compare the United States’ laws to that of other industrialized nations, they don’t exactly measure up.

Colson says Sweden’s maternity leave policy is “one of the most generous,” offering 390 days of paid parental leave (shared between parents) and 80% of wages covered for a significant portion of the leave. In Germany, mothers are entitled to 14 weeks of maternity leave plus a tax-free, income-based allowance straight from their insurance provider.

Jonathan Borba / PEXELS

Though it’s likely that US laws will never be that generous in terms of paid maternity leave, there are a few things you can do to make the blow of medical costs hurt a little less, says Colson.

“My advice is to be your own advocate,” she says. “If you’re planning to have a baby, start by understanding what your state provides in terms of paid leave to avoid surprises after delivery.”

To keep the cost of having your baby (if you’re planning to have one) transparent and free of surprises, Colson recommends:

  • Asking your physician’s office for a detailed breakdown of insurance billing codes, including:
    • Office visits
    • Lab work
    • Epidural (and the anesthesiologist’s separate fee)
    • Hospital admissions
    • Specialist consultations during admission
    • Optional procedures like circumcision, if desired
  • Email the insurance billing codes to your insurance provider, who can help calculate your out-of-pocket costs and deductible

“Having a baby is priceless,” Colson says. “By planning ahead – understanding your insurance options, healthcare costs, and available benefits – you can ensure peace of mind and focus on what truly matters: your growing family.”

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Many people look for the new year to bring new opportunities and, in some cases, a fresh start altogether. But for me? As a longtime entertainment reporter, there is one thing I can’t help but get excited about when another year rolls around: the upcoming movie releases and, of course, the most anticipated television shows. While I'm looking forward to see what happens to Eleven and the rest of the Hawkins crew in Stranger Things 5 on Netflix, there are a bunch of new TV shows that have been at the top of my watch list from the moment they were first announced, including Suits: LA and It: Welcome to Derry.

Here are the 2025 television shows that should be on your radar (if they aren’t already!).

Severance Season 2 — On Apple TV+ January, 17 2025

Apple TV+

After Mark Scout, Helly, and Irving learn the truth about the “severance” experiment and manage to break free from its clutches in the Severance season 1 finale, the three coworkers (along with the rest of the Lumon Industries employees) are forced to return to work in the second installment of the series. Now that Mark and some of his peers know what the company was really doing to the Lumon staff, one could only wonder: What are Lumon Industries's hidden objectives? (And what’s with all the GOATS?!)

Severance season 2 premieres on Apple TV+ on January 17, 2024 and stars Adam Scott, Britt Lower, John Turturro, Dichen Lachman, Dichen Lachman and Patricia Arquette.

The White Lotus Season 3 — On HBO and Max February 16, 2025

Mario Perez/HBO

Pack your bags, White Lotus fans, because our favorite hotel residents are catching a first-class flight to…Thailand! While there are a bunch of new guests checking into a luxury hotel, there’s one returning guest who needs no introduction. Natasha Rothwell, who made her debut at Belinda Lindsey in The White Lotus season 1, is the only returning cast making a brief cameo in season 3. Four Seasons Resort Koh Samui, here we come!

The White Lotus season 3 is coming in February and will star Leslie Bibb, Jason Isaacs, Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, Parker Posey, Patrick Schwarzenegger and Blackpink’s Lisa Manobal.

The Last of Us Season 2 — On HBO and Max in April 2025

Liane Hentscher/HBO

I can’t be the only one still thinking about that bombshell season one finale of HBO’s The Last of Us! And apparently, I’m not the only one who’s eager to see the continuation of Joel and Ellie’s story in season 2. Fans of the video game adaptation have been keeping their eyes peeled for a new update about season 2. And one teaser later, we might have just gotten the news we’ve been looking for. Following the 2024 Emmy Awards, Chairman and CEO of HBO and Max Content Casey Bloys toldDeadline that The Last of Us season 2 will premiere around “generally first half of the year [2025], I expect them to be in the Emmy window.”

The Last of Us season 2 will star Pedro Pascal, Bella Ramsey, Gabriel Luna, Rutina Wesley, Kaitlyn Dever, Isabela Merced, Young Mazino, Spencer Lord, Danny Ramirez, Catherine O'Hara, Jeffrey Wright, Tati Gabrielle and Ariela Barer.

The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3 — On Prime Video in 2025

Erika Doss/Prime Video

It's almost time to return to Cousins Beach, and I have missed all the hydrangeas, fair rides, and ocean sunrises. We haven't heard for sure whether season 3 will be the end of the road for this series, but if it follows even a few chapters in the third book in The Summer I Turned Pretty series, We'll Always Have Summer, then we will absolutely be getting some drama.

The Summer I Turned Pretty season 3 premieres in 2025 and stars Lola Tung, Christopher Briney, Gavin Casalegno, Sean Kaufman, Rain Spencer, Jackie Chung, and Rachel Blanchard.

It: Welcome to Derry — On Max in 2025

Warner Bros. Entertainment

Bill, Richie, Beverly and the rest of the Losers Club members might have been able to defeat Pennywise in It: Chapter Two, but that doesn’t mean we've seen the last of Derry, Maine. Serving as a prequel series to the It movie franchise directed by Andres Muschietti, Welcome to Derry will delve into Pennywise’s origin story and how the child-preying clown arrived in Derry. But that’s not even the best part: Bill Skarsgård, who starred in It and It: Chapter Two, will reprise his role as the killer clown in the upcoming HBO series, which will be released in 2025. So until then, no accepting red balloons from creepy clowns, okay?

It: Welcome to Derry will star Jovan Adepo, Chris Chalk, Taylour Paige, James Remar, Stephen Rider, Madeleine Stowe, Alixandra Fuchs, Kimberly Guerrero, Joshua Odjick and Morningstar Angeline.

Stranger Things Season 5 — On Netflix in 2025

Netflix

I’ve been a fan of Stranger Things since it premiered on Netflix back in 2016, and come next year, longtime fans like myself will finally get to see how the story ends. Last time we saw Eleven, Mike, Will and the rest of the Hellfire Club crew, they were facing an impending apocalypse after Vecna’s devious plan came to full fruition. So, will the group of friends defeat Vecna and save their home? Guess we’ll just have to wait and see because Stranger Things 5 likely won’t premiere until late 2025. Now, all we need is that release date, Netflix…

Stranger Things 5 is coming to Netflix soon and stars Millie Bobby Brown, Noah Schnapp, Finn Wolfhard, Caleb McLaughlin, Gaten Matarazzo, Natalia Dyer, Charlie Heaton, Sadie Sink, Maya Hawke, Joe Keery, David Harbour, Winona Ryder, Amybeth McNulty, and Priah Ferguson.

Suits: L.A. — On NBC in 2025

David Astorga/NBC

Court is back in session! Only this time, our favorite lawyers from the OG Pearson Hardman firm are not on the case. Thanks to Netflix, the original Suits (which starred the Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle) experienced a renaissance of sorts upon its arrival to the streaming service in June 2023. And as a result, NBCUniversal ordered a spinoff series earlier this year. But instead of the bustling streets of New York City, a new group of lawyers are setting up shop in the Golden State in Suits L.A.

The new spinoff will center around an entertainment and criminal lawler named Ted Black, who launches his own law firm in California after moving from the East Coast. Originally, Suits L.A was slated to be a part of NBCUniversal’s 2024-2025 lineup. However, according to Deadline, there was a slight change in the production location, making a Fall 2025 release more likely. So, who’s up for a Suits marathon?

Suits L.A. is speculated to premiere sometime in 2025 and is set to star Ted Black, Josh McDermitt, Rachelle Goulding, Victoria Justice, Troy Wingush, Bryan Greenberg, Lex Scott Davis, John Amos, Kevin Weistman and Alice Lee.

Wednesday Season 2 — On Netflix in 2025

Netflix

Looks like Jenna Ortega won’t be giving us another macabre number anytime soon because Wednesday season 2 won’t arrive on Netflix until 2025. In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Ortega teases the upcoming installment will be much “darker” this time around. “I think the feel that we’re going for is a little bit more horror-inspired,” the Beetlejuice Beetlejuicestar adds. “Not to say that suddenly we’re the goriest show of all time. I mean, there’s six-year-olds watching.”

“This season is going to be bigger and more twisted than you can ever imagine," Catherine Zeta-Jones says in the new Wednesday season 2 first look.

“If we showed you any more, your eyes would bleed,” Ortega says. “And I'm not that generous.”

What TV show are you most excited to see in 2025? Personally, I can’t wait for Sweet Magnolias season 4 to drop! (Margarita, anyone?) Make sure to follow us on TikTok and Facebook for more TV exclusives and latest news updates!

This post has been updated.

Kate Middleton has been top of mind for a lot of people over the last year after the princess announced in March 2024 she was battling cancer. "The last nine months have been incredibly tough for us as a family. Life as you know it can change in an instant and we have had to find a way to navigate the stormy waters and road unknown," she shared in a video update. "This time has above all reminded William and me to reflect and be grateful for the simple yet important things in life, which so many of us often take for granted. Of simply loving and being loved." And in honor of Kate's 43rd birthday, Prince William posted the sweetest tribute honoring her strength and perseverance.

Here's what Prince William had to say in Kate Middleton's birthday tribute.

Prince William celebrates "incredible" Kate Middleton's "strength."

Kate Middleton turned 43 on January 9, 2025. In honor of the big day, Prince William took to Instagram to celebrate, praising his "incredible" wife.

"To the most incredible wife and mother. The strength you’ve shown over the last year has been remarkable," he says in the post. "George, Charlotte, Louis and I are so proud of you. Happy Birthday, Catherine. We love you. W."

And well wishers flooded the comments. "Happy Birthday Catherine, wishing you a wonderful year ahead surrounded by family and loved ones," one user says, while another adds, "Happy Birthday Princess of Wales! What a gorgeous photo. Wishing you a wonderful year 😍 xx"

And the tribute comes after revealing Kate was doing "amazing" following her cancer battle.

The birthday celebration comes after the prince shared an update on Kate in early November that had us all breathing a sigh of relief. “She's doing really well thanks. And hopefully, she is watching tonight. So cheering me on," he said before the Earthshot Prize awards (via People). “She's been amazing this whole this whole year. I know she will be really keen to see tonight be a success."

"From what I understand, Catherine is doing very well," royal author Robert Jobson added in an interview withHello!that same week. "She is back training at the gym and doing all the things she wanted to do."

We're sending Kate Middleton so much birthday love! For more about your favorite members of the Royal Family, check out Meghan Markle’s New Netflix Cooking Show Will Feature Some Of Your Fave Celebs.