How To Respectfully Decline Being A Bridesmaid Without Ending A Friendship

1. You're using money as a way to compare yourself to your friend.

Seeing it worded like this sounds harsh and is sure to illicit the following responses:

1. "Are you kidding me? I'd never do that!"
2. "There's no comparison between my friend and I. I love them too much to do that."
3. "It's not like I'm hurting my friend when I try to give them advice."

Even if you're not proud of it, there's a reason why comparison feels a embedded. Hughes says you're zeroing in on your friend's finances because of your "mindset." She further explains, "...we compare because money either separates you or brings you together. It's a social comparison because it's one of the most powerful tools to create the life you desire." This checks out if you and your friend are always talking about the kind of futures you want.

Here's the clincher: Hughes says, "Some are motivated by others, and some become jealous and hopeless."

2. The childhood lessons you learned about money are on full display.

Did you grow up hearing "money doesn't grow on trees" or "Anyone who doesn't save their money is being wasteful?" You may not think about it, but plays a role in how you look at other people's habits. Hughes says, "...judgment comes from our social upbringing. Some people have a scarcity mindset, so they hoard all their money." This could explain why you're less likely to spend money on things you consider frivolous while thinking your friend who does has lost a grip on reality.

The other side of this is being in a position where you didn't have to worry about money growing up. "If you are from a wealthier family, you know that money is a tool that flows." But, you're not off the hook from having negative opinions about others. You could still "judge others for not being smart and investing their money," according to Hughes.

3. You may be jealous of your friend or annoyed with their complaints.

You can adore your friend while envying them for having the luxury to do whatever they want with their money. It's not to say they're truly in the position be carefree, but their ability to believe they'll be okay no matter what may make you see green. Then again, you may resent your friend for complaining about financial hardships they're in because of bad choices.

Like Hughes has mentioned earlier, there's so many reasons why everyone judges each other. She reiterates, "Usually, it's a place of jealousy," and it can show up differently based on your friend's circumstances.

"If your friends travel and you can't afford it, it creates discontent," she uses as an example, but "if your friends complain about not having money and bad spending habits, you may be annoyed and frustrated because their habits don't align with their perceived values," she adds.

4. You're unable to handle the same criticism you're dishing out.

It's easy to judge others for doing something we think isn't right, but it's harder to accept the same vein of criticism. Hughes says people who consistently critique their friends' spending habits wouldn't have a hard time paying attention to their own choices if they were genuinely seeking "expert guidance on how to manage money instead of avoiding it."

For example, you could feel envious of the friend who has a good relationship with money while you're always spending it as soon as you get paid. "Some people cannot hold on to cash because they don't feel they deserve it. It's the subconscious programming that prevents them from making changes," says Hughes.

Here's what to do if you're truly concerned about your friend's finances

Approach the topic delicately

Sometimes we love to pose aggressive interventions with our friends because we "know" them. While this may work in some cases, it could backfire if you're adding to the guilt they're already feeling.

"If they ask for feedback or they complain in a moment, you can get curious and ask questions that allow them to realize their mistakes," suggests Hughes. Don't go thinking this is your shining moment to make your friend change, however.

"Ultimately, it's up to that person to receive feedback. If they don't want the input, it's best not to express your opinion as it doesn't impact you..." Hughes remarks.

Here's how to set a firm boundary with a friend who can't keep their opinions to themselves

If you've found yourself on the receiving of constant opinions about how you spend money, we know you're annoyed. We're irritated for you because invasive questions or thoughts about money can ruin a longstanding friendship!

You can say something like, "While I appreciate your concerns, I will figure this out". You must take control of the conversation and be assertive if others are crossing a boundary. This usually reflects a lack of boundaries in relationships beyond finances- so chances are your relationship already lacks boundaries.

1. New Years Eve

December 31 may have come and gone, but there's always more NYE events to come. It's just one of the worst days to have your wedding. No, I mean it. Abbott suggests this isn't the time to pack two celebratory events into one. As the owner and creative director of Amy Abbott Events, she's helped plan luxurious weddings for some of Hollywood's top celebrities and athletes — including Simone Biles!

So, why no fabulous wedding on NYE? She says, "You’ll end up paying almost 50 percent more as vendors typically charge much higher rates." But, that's just the tip of the iceberg. She also adds, "For destination weddings during this time of year, hotels often enforce 5- to 7-night minimum stays, with hotel rates being nearly double. This can make it almost impossible for your guests to commit to attending your wedding." Even if you think money isn't an issue, she advises "it's just a very costly option."

That's not the only issue you could face. "To add to the challenge, some of the best vendors often take the entire holiday season off, making availability a significant issue." This just made our jaws drop because we didn't know this! But we can imagine this feels like one of the times they get to catch their breath before prepping for such a huge moment in people's lives so it's not unbelievable!

2. Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is such a romantic day that deserves to be reserved for celebrating how much you're in love. But, please don't think your wedding has to be on February 14. Vezzetti says this day along with NYE "may sound romantic," but they're not in "reality."

She says, "These dates are super popular for weddings and other celebrations, which means venues and vendors charge a premium." And guess what? She says you're not even considering "future anniversaries."

Her advice if you decide to forge ahead is: "Good luck booking a cozy dinner reservation when everyone else is celebrating too."

3. Super Bowl Sunday

Another thing Fay says couples "often forget about" are "major sporting events." Her rule of thumb is to "try to understand the guest list and audience" so her team can be "conscious of their experiences."

It's the reason she's against have a wedding on Super Bowl Sunday. She says, "It may leave guests less present at your event, even if you're not a football fan. So we [the Tara Fay Events team] try to be conscious of big cultural and sporting events like this."

Always be aware of times close to major holidays. If guests have to travel distances and be away from their families, that may impact your rsvp’s. Plus, it’s typically more expensive to travel those times of year. Don’t forget about international holidays as well, Diwali for example.

4. Labor Day

Vezzetti also discourages scheduling a wedding on Labor Day. The rule used to be that you couldn't wear white after this holiday passed, but now you need to rethink your plans if you plan to trade 'I Do's" on this date.

"Long holiday weekends may seem ideal for travel, but they also come with headaches. First, heavy traffic," says Vezzetti. She and her team "have seen travel times TRIPLE on Colorado roadways during these holidays." This fact alone made our hearts skip a beat because we caught of a flash of you potentially being late your own wedding!

Also, Vezzetti says you won't be the only person in town for a holiday like this. "Because everyone else is traveling, lodging and restaurants are hard to come by, especially popular mountain retreats in places like Colorado."

5. Memorial Day

Sigh... We don't know why anyone would want to have a wedding on Memorial Day, but personal preference always plays a factor in decisions like this. The issue, Vezzetti warns, is that you're risking a lot by doing so. "Before you set the date, do a little research as to local annual events," she advises.

For example, Boulder, Colorado is a "great destination with amazing scenery, warm weather, and world-class dining" according to her. "But Memorial Day in Boulder, Colorado brings more than 50,000 runners into town. So definitely check the local calendar for your wedding destination and make sure you aren't going to share your special day with thousands of others."

Can you imagine having an outdoor wedding where your guests are torn between watching you emotionally exchange vows as marathon runners sprint nearby?

I'm kind of scared I'll choose the wrong date. What are good days or months to have my wedding?

This sounds like a "how-to" guide of everything you shouldn't do when choosing your wedding date, but there's still a large window of opportunity! "The best months to get married for tropical destination weddings are October 15th through July 15th," Abbott says.

But, there's a catch. "Once you go beyond that, you risk running into hurricane season. Even if you're fortunate enough to avoid a storm, the intense heat and relentless bugs can take away from the enjoyment of your day," she adds. All in all, "it's simply not an ideal time of year" because "the weather can significantly impact your overall experience," according to her.

Fay agrees with this by adding "major weather events are important to consider" at all times. She also added you should "take note of monsoon months" along with "hurricane season." She knows no one can really "predict bad weather," but she wants you to "aim for months that more often provide the experience you're looking to have."

Vezzetti says "popular dates in Colorado are the summer months (June-September) because of the scenic outdoor backdrops and warm weather." But she knows there are "trade-offs" like "venues and vendors" booking early, plus the chance "you might pay higher prices" even though the "gorgeous sand makes it worth it!"

The truth is that your special day should feel as seamless as possible. Something is sure not to go according to plan, but it shouldn't involve something interrupting the entire date you've chosen to have your weeding. Fay's final piece of advice, "If you want to get married in Europe, be aware of when Europeans go on holiday and try to avoid August which is the busiest time for major European countries.

But, the trade-offs are that venues and vendors book early and you might pay higher prices (but it's gorgeous sand worth it!). But, if you want to save, In Colorado late spring (April–May) and late fall (November) are excellent for the value. Plus, venues and vendors often have more availability. This concept can be applied to other destinations, but they may have seasonal variations. So, be sure to check the seasonal highs and lows in whatever area you are planning to tie the knot.

A tip you may not have considered is doing "a little research on when courthouses in the destination issue marriage licenses." Vezzetti suggests doing this so you're well-prepared and can "plan with enough travel time so you are not scrambling to get your legal documents."

Not sure when to go? Vezzetti says, "In most States, courthouses are only open during banking hours (Mon-Fri, generally), and while the process may quick (in Colorado, expect 15 minutes, tops), couples without a plan might find themselves in panic mode." Didn't we say we don't want you passing out before your big day even arrives? Take Vezzetti's advice and "do a little research" so you can "plan to arrive a day early!"

1. Wearing Green (And Pinching Those Who Aren't)

One of the easiest ways to cash in on the luck of St. Patrick's Day is by wearing green. This hue has deep ties to Ireland, which is often called the "Emerald Isle" due to its lush, rolling landscapes. Beyond its natural beauty, green also carries historical significance and symbolizes Irish nationalism and cultural pride.

The best part? There's a mischievous side to this fun and festive tradition. More specifically, those who forget to wear the color might find themselves on the receiving end of a pinch.

This playful custom is more common in the U.S. than in Ireland and stems from the idea that wearing green makes you invisible to leprechauns, who are known for their trickster ways. So, to avoid being "spotted" (or pinched), make sure you add a splash of green to your outfit.

2. Drowning A Shamrock In Whiskey

In Ireland, a well-known tradition is "drowning the shamrock," and it's believed to bring good luck. The shamrock has long been linked with Irish heritage and fortune. It's said to have been used by St. Patrick to explain the concept of the Holy Trinity.

So, on March 17, many celebrate by dropping a fresh shamrock into a glass of whiskey, drinking the beverage, and then tossing the shamrock over their left shoulder for good luck.

3. Doing An Irish Jig

Get into the spirit of the holiday by learning an Irish jig! This energetic dance is a staple of Irish celebrations and is often performed in parades or festivals. It features quick footwork, pointed toes, and rhythmic hopping.

The Irish jig has deep roots in Celtic culture, possibly evolving from ancient clan marching tunes or early Celtic circle dances. Traditionally, Celts danced clockwise for joyous occasions and counterclockwise for mourning.

You can take a dance class, join in at a local event, or just work on some jig steps at home!

4. Searching For Four-Leaf Clovers

Hunting for a four-leaf clover is a classic St. Patty's Day pastime, and if you manage to find one, you should consider yourself super lucky.

While shamrocks typically have three leaves, the rare four-leaf clover is actually a genetic mutation, making it a real symbol of good fortune. In fact, experts estimate that only one in every 10,000 clovers has four leaves!

Test your luck this holiday by scanning a patch of clover quickly. Our brains are surprisingly good at spotting irregular patterns.

5. Release The "Devil" From Your Irish Soda Bread

Did you know that cutting a cross on top of Irish soda bread isn't just for aesthetics? According to Irish folklore, scoring a cross into the dough "lets the devil out" and ensures good luck and protection for your household.

This superstition, rooted in both Christian and pagan beliefs, was thought to ward off evil spirits. It also serves a practical purpose by allowing steam to escape, thus helping the bread bake evenly.

6. Run In A St. Patrick's Day Dash

Running a race might not be the first thing that comes to mind for March 17, but it's become a really fun tradition. St. Patrick's Day dashes can range from quick 5Ks to half marathons, with plenty of family-friendly walks for those who prefer a more leisurely pace.

Participants dress up in green, wear shamrocks, and sometimes even race while sporting leprechaun hats! It's a great way to stay active and possibly run your way into some good luck.

7. Chow Down On Corned Beef And Cabbage

It's just not St. Patrick's Day without a plate of corned beef and cabbage. Even though many associated this dish with Ireland, it actually has Irish-American roots.

When Irish immigrants arrived in the U.S., they found corned beef to be a more affordable alternative to traditional bacon. Paired with cabbage, potatoes, and carrots, it became a comforting and flavorful meal that stuck as a holiday staple.

8. Kiss Someone Who Is Irish

Finally, you've definitely seen the phrase "Kiss me, I'm Irish" on T-shirts before. This fun saying is tied to the tradition of kissing the Blarney Stone in Ireland, an act that's said to bring good luck.

However, not all of us have the ability to visit the Blarney Stone. So, kissing an Irish person is another way to honor the custom in the spirit of good fortune.