Brand-new gift sets, foodie gifts, beauty gifts, and the like are sure to bring joy this year, but if you're planning to give something with a personal twist, handmade gifts are *the* way to go. The possibilities are truly endless when you employ your creativity and craft items that your gift recipients have maybe seen (or received) before – hats, cards, coasters, picture holders, and more await.
Check out these entirely homemade gifts that will spark your next holiday idea! Some components of these handmade gifts can even be thrifted, saving you some cash along the way.
Here are the best handmade gift ideas to give your loved ones this holiday season.
Anete Lusina / PEXELS
1. Start simple and make them a personalized card.
Nothing communicates your love, time, and effort behind a gift more than personalized cards. Even if you can’t DIY the gift itself, having a handmade card (with a thoughtful message inside) as a prelude to the unwrapping ritual will touch everyone’s heart. Make sure to craft yours on some hardy cardstock so they feel *extra* special. Peep some of these stellar holiday card ideas for inspiration!
@miascozycorner i inadvertently seem to have to fallen into a purple theme?? #christmascrafts#diychristmasdecor#diychristmasornaments#claycreations#tiktokdiy#christmas♬ original sound - mia 🍒
2. Sculpt some cutie gift toppers.
Handmade gift wrapping elements will also step up your holiday game. These darling little gift toppers that @miascozycorner made out of polymer clay are sure to inspire your own designs! Decorate the shapes you make with paint pens and coat them in Liquitex for durability, then attach them to your gift box or bag using some cute ribbon or yarn.
Riley Williams
3. Use air-dry clay to make picture holders.
Clay is your BFF for making handmade gifts. This idea from @rileyrosestudio lets your giftee display pictures, memories, cards, or even recipe cards in the form of their favorite food! Go for a trendier take by sculpting an olive or tomato out of air-dry clay, or opt to craft something as intricate as a burger or pizza slice – no matter what shape it is, they’re sure to love it. Riley usesgesso to prime her air-dry clay pieces, then an acrylic sealant to make sure those lovely designs stay put.
Meredith Holser
4. Make an orange garland for them.
A dried orange garland takes an entire day (and sometimes more) to make, so your recipient should definitely feel special knowing you put hours of love into this handmade gift. Though they look intricate, you only need to follow a few steps (and have few materials: orange slices, twine, and a thick yarn needle) to achieve the cozy garland. Luckily, there are tons of citrus garland tutorials on social media to assist in your creation. B+C Creative Assistant, Meredith, tied cutie little pink ribbon bows on her homemade garland.
Krissy Derrick
5. Craft a candle holder using clay.
You could use a pottery kitlike these convenient ones to make anything, really, but this wavy candelabra from @modeletto.store will make one of the most unique handmade gifts! Don’t forget to *also* gift somecandlesticks alongside it.Mariam Antadze / PEXELS
6. Make coasters out of air-dry clay and gift them alongside thrifted glassware.
To make some handmade coasters, roll out some air-dry clay, let it dry, and coat it with gesso before you get to painting! The canvas is yours with this gift idea, but here are a few concepts to get the creative juices flowing: smiley faces, rainbows, spirals, initials, and fruits or vegetables. Ensure that your hard work stays in place with a sealant that’ll repel moisture. Some thrifted glassware pieces to give alongside your handmade coasters would be the absolute cherry on top!
Meredith Holser
7. Create a collage out of old magazines.
Magazines are really not hard to come by, and if you're looking for a sustainable gift, you can find some especially unique ones at re-sell bookstores or thrift stores to make your own collage. Some of the best ones to start with are Vogue and National Geographic. There are a lot of different techniques and themes you could run with, so we recommend doing some visual research on Pinterest beforehand to nail down your collage's concept. Maybe it's full of imagery that reminds you of your relationship, or a jumble of words that form a sweet poem – it's really up to you! Just have glue, an X-Acto knife, and a cutting board on-hand for the process. Complete this artsy handmade gift by signing your work and framing the collage in a nifty frame.
Meredith Holser
8. Thread a handmade necklace using thrifted or secondhand beads.
Got a necklace you don’t love? Deconstruct that baby using small wire cutters or scissors so that you can use the leftover beads and charms to make something entirely new! If you don’t have them on-hand already, you will need some beading cord, bead clamps, jump rings, clasps, and pliers.
Brit + Co
9. DIY your very own body care line.
Making your own body scrubs or balt salts is *a lot* easier than you’d think. Some recipes only call for ingredients you’d find in your kitchen! Make a range of self-care products at home, then package them up in thrifted jars with ribbon and a handmade tag to really impress.
Ron Lach / PEXELS
10. Repurpose cans and tins by pouring candles into them.
Fish tin candles are in, but you can really use any vessel to pour your own candles in. All you need is some candle wax, wicks, and a scent of your choice to create something super unique! Try your first handmade candle with an empty, clean tinned fish tin, then get adventurous with soda cans or crushed tomato cans to bring out that Tomato Girl energy for your gift recipient.
Karolina Grabowska / PEXELS
11. Make a batch of jam.
If foodie gifts are their thing, then there’s no better item to give than, well, food! We have an amazingly tasty fig jamrecipe, but you can take the reins on what fruity flavor you’ll whip up. This is a convenient handmade gift, too, because the result won’t go bad or spoil before the big day.Karolina Grabowska / PEXELS
12. Make a batch of spice mix.
In the same vein of shelf-stable foodie-snacky gifts, spice mixes are always a good idea, and really easy to make at home. Mix together some cajun seasoning, all-purpose seasoning, ranch, or everything bagel seasoning in no time before packing it up in small thrifted jars to gift!Roman Odinstov / PEXELS
13. Make a batch of chili oil.
Chili oil is very buzzy at the moment, but instead of dropping a bag on a single jar, make your own at home to yield a few! Our recipe uses neutral oil, star anise, cinnamon stick, bay leaves, Sichuan peppercorns, salt, chili flakes, garlic and soy sauce.It only takes a moment to make, but you’ll want the mixture to sit for a week or so, that way the nuanced flavors can all sink in. You could even gift a few recipe cards (like these delectable feta fried eggs) alongside a jar, since chili oil is exceptionally yummy on a ton of dishes.Anete Lusina / PEXELS
14. Knit or crochet a hat, scarf, or another garment you know they’d like.
Having knitting and/or crochet skills is invaluable when it comes to gifting season. You can easily find patterns online for creating beanies, blankets, scarves, leg warmers, balaclavas, mittens, and more, so your giftee can stay stylishly warm beyond the holidays in a bespoke garment that *you* made!
Damir / PEXELS
15. Make magnets out of air-dry clay for their fridge.
Again, air-dry clay rules the world of handmade gifts. For a smaller project, make some fridge decorations by painting on air-dry clay shapes. You can make hearts, stars, foods, faces, animals, and more! To make your designs magnetized, super glue some small magnet tabs on the back of them.小龙 魏 / PEXELS
16. Paint a glass bottle with your own design to gift a plant cutting.
You can easily thrift a glass vessel (or use one you already have), paint a unique design on it using glass paint, then fill it with a little bit of water to gift a small plant cutting! This way, you’re giving them a stylish home decor piece along with a heirloom piece of nature that they’ll admire every day as it grows.
Brit + Co
17. DIY an ornament (or a few) for them.
Tree ornaments are 100% on-theme for the holidays, so if you feel a little lost on what to gift, try DIY-ing some ornaments of varying styles! We have some DIYs for punnyones and minimalistones, but there are also a ton of other tutorials on social media that can guide you in the direction you want to take.Mati Mango / PEXELS
18. Burn a CD full of tracks they’d like.
It may seem a little old-school now, but the gift idea of burning a CD will appeal to every gift recipient that’s old enough to remember portable CD players. They can play it in their car or through their at-home speaker system to jam out. Just grab a pack of blank CDs that come with covers, and let the nostalgic process take you away.
In addition to making your own playlist to gift, you should definitely consider designing an album cover and tracklist for that personalized touch – platforms like Canva are a great option for doing this. The music-lover in your life will surely appreciate the time you took to craft each and every detail of the CD – and maybe they’ll even discover some new tunes along the way!Brit + Co
19. Bake them a big batch of cookies.
You just can’t go wrong with sweets during the holidays! Whatever form they come in – vegan, gluten-free, paleo – cookies are sure to satisfy your giftee. We have a ton of recipes you could check out (I highly recommend the Taylor Swift chai cookies), but if you already have a method to your madness, whip up whatever dessert recipe you have in mind. Just make sure they’re fairly fresh when you hand them over.
If you don’t have a neat cookie tin on-hand, run to your nearest thrift store. It’s guaranteed that you’ll find a cute one to house your cookies!Brit + Co
20. Decorate a plant pot with pops of color.
If your gift recipient has a green thumb, it’s not a bad idea to gift them a few plant-related things. Luckily, handmade gifts have a stake in this – just grab a terracotta pot (you can easily thrift one or find one for cheap at the dollar store) and some chalk pens, then decorate the exterior however you like.
To get some ideas flowing, you could include illustrated motifs of your relationship with this person, write their name out in bubble letters, or just doodle random designs. Matching their interior design aesthetic is definitely recommended.
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This post has been updated.
I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).
These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.
@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕
1. Chamoy Pickles
People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.
But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!
This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.
If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.
@dualipaofficial What do we call her?
♬ original sound - Dua Lipa
2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke
Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.
This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.
@logagm New cucumber recipe 🚨
♬ original sound - Logan
3. Cucumber Salad
If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.
"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.
It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!
@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger
4. Sea Grapes
It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).
They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.
@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒
5. Exploding Candies
The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.
First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.
I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.
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Once you've got your red, white and blue ice cream, Pinterest-perfect decorations and all your best buddies, the only thing your Fourth of July BBQ needs is a solid selection of lawn games. If you grew up playing horseshoes, corn-hole and bocce ball, bring back those childhood faves with a modern twist!
As you're prepping your Independence Day activities, spruce up an old board game with a psychedelic paint job, or turn an old classic into a giant-sized adventure that kids of *all ages* will love. Once you're done, it's game time (after you Instagram it, of course)! Keep reading for 15 fun DIY games that will make your Fourth of July party the hottest bash on the block!
DIY Lawn Dominoes
Iron & Twine
Dominoes aren’t just for the card table anymore. Paint a set of wooden blocks with a splash of color that *screams* summertime, and you’ve got a weekend hit. (via Iron & Twine)
Giant Jenga
A Beautiful Mess
Because everything is more fun when it's giant-sized. Paint the outer edge of the blocks with a few coats of colorful house paint to make the tower extra pretty, and get ready for a bit of fun competition among friends, fam, and kids. (via A Beautiful Mess)
Giant Scrabble
Consider The Peel
A traditional game of Scrabble has 100 tiles (eek!), so you might want to consider cutting down on that a bit – unless you live for the game. Stock up on some wood tiles at your local hardware store, then use paint and stencils to get the letters on each tile. And don’t forget the points in the lower right corner! (viaConsider The Peel)
DIY Horse Shoes
Mr. Kate
Embroidery thread isn’t just for friendship bracelets — it’s also for making the *cutest* set of horseshoes you ever did see. Start by spray painting the horseshoes and the stake, and then wrap them in a thread for a colorful, boho-chic look. (via Mr. Kate)
Flamingo Ring Toss Lawn Game
Sugar & Cloth
This game could totally double as yard decor after the holiday weekend is over. If you have a nice grassy area available and you’re short on time (or are sticking to a budget), skip the pots and just stick the flamingos straight into the ground! Otherwise, fill some mini planters with sand or soil to keep your fun-loving flamingos upright. (via Sugar & Cloth)
DIY Lawn Checkers
Jessie Daye
Just... ignore the funny looks the hardware guys give you when you stock up on a cartful of bucket lids. Spray paint half of them black for a traditional color palette, or shock your uncle with a snazzy set of pink and orange checker pieces. (via Jessie Daye)
DIY Color Block Games
Brit + Co
Make sure there’s a game station for *all* ages and interests at your party. While the rest of the crew is battling it out at the corn hole game, set up a couple of these rad color-dipped board games to keep everyone entertained. (via Brit + Co.)
DIY Lawn Matching Game
Studio DIY
This game is perf for the backyard — it’s made with cork tiles, so it’s totally reusable and light enough for the little ones to carry around. There are printables for all these symbols so you can have a summertime themed set, but feel free to get creative and come up with your own stencils. (via Studio DIY)
Yard Yahtzee
Style Me Pretty
Supersize this old-school game, and let the good times roll with these giant dice. This DIY even includes a free printable scorecard so you can refresh your memory on a winning strategy. (viaStyle Me Pretty)
Frisbee Tic-Tac-Toe
Better Homes & Garden
The traditional version might not be cool enough for the kids, but give them a giant version, and they’ll be all over it. This game actually takes a lot of skill to get the frisbees to land *exactly* right. (via Better Homes & Gardens)
DIY Cactus Ring Toss Lawn Game
Brit + Co
Ring toss just got a very trendy upgrade. If you'd rather spend your budget on tasty snacks and cocktails, you'll love that this yard game is made out of nothing more than cardboard boxes and paint. Bonus: You can use these adorable cacti as home decor later on! (via Brit + Co.)
DIY Bocce Balls
Brit + Co
When it comes time to bust out the bocce balls, make sure your color scheme is *on point* and in full patriotic form. Spruce up an old set of bocce balls with a starry makeover and a fresh coat of paint. (via Brit + Co.)
DIY Star-Spangled Yard
Better Homes & Gardens
Give your lawn the star-spangled treatment for Fourth of July weekend. And don't panic: it's not *actual* paint. Cut a star shape from a piece of cardboard, spray the grass lightly with water, and use a flour sifter to fill the shape with flour. The stars should last until your sprinklers wash them away. (via Better Homes & Gardens)
4th Of July Tic-Tac-Toe
Hey, Let's Make Stuff
Bring along this little game to your neighborhood block party, and get ready for it to be an instant hit. You can use any sized letters for this DIY, but the bigger the letters are, the more fun (and photogenic) it will be. (via Hey, Let's Make Stuff!)
Custom Cornhole Game
Brit + Co
This game is practically a requirement at all summer festivities. You can totally DIY it from scratch, or you can try this simple makeover for your very own custom set. (via Brit + Co.)
Did we get your favorite yard game? If you're looking for more fun DIY ideas for Fourth of July weekend, make sure you follow us on Pinterest!
Lead image viaBetter Homes & Gardens
This article has been updated.
First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.
Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.
Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been
1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.
I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.
"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.
As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."
Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.
2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.
While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."
Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.
Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."
3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.
Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?
Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.
You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says
4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.
*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."
Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.
4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.
Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.
Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.
I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."
5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.
Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."
At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.
What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?
First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."
I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.
"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.
Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.
Here are Menon's tips:
- Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
- Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.
I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?
I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.
"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."
Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."
He wants you to consider these things:
- Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
- Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
- Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.
Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.
That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.
Nina Dobrev Just Shut Down Years Of 'Vampire Diaries' Drama Rumors (And The Internet's Going Crazy)
Dec 09, 2024
No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!
Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.
As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.
"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!
In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.
While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.
"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!
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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."
And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."
"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!