27 Dresses is a fun story until you think about how much Jane (Kathryn Heigl) spent for each and every one of those weddings. There are engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry — I mean the list of costly responsibilities goes on and on and on. Imagine doing that 27 times.
Wedding events aren't just a casual affair anymore either — the financial obligations for wedding guests and bridal parties continue to rise steadily. According to a 2023 study from The Knot, the average cost of a bridesmaid's dress is $130. Business Insider reports that you can expect to spend $1,200 for bachelorette parties on average. Just being a wedding guest alone has an average price tag of $580, according to another study by The Knot. Suddenly, from your dress to the destination bach to the delicate (and likely expensive) stemware you got the couple as a gift, you're potentially spending thousands of dollars on a wedding that's not even your own.
And while you likely love the bride asking you to be in her wedding party very much...is there a way you can politely decline? Especially if you're trapped for cash or trying to save for a major financial goal? HerFirst100k's Tori Dunlap would like to think so! And it doesn't have to be this friendship-altering event either. With Dunlap's tips, you should be well on your way to the happy couple's good graces without paying an arm and a leg to earn it.
Photo by Karolina Kaboompics
When turning down a bridesmaid offer, Dunlap suggest using the "sandwich method" here — AKA saying something complimentary, giving the bad news, and ending on another positive, complimentary note. Seems simple enough, right?
She suggest saying, "I'm so excited for your wedding! Thank you so much for thinking of me! I am so honored. However, at this time I really can't afford the commitment of being a bridesmaid, but I would love to support you in any other way I can."
With this phrasing Dunlap says you're accomplishing three key things:
- Setting expectations
- Validating the friendship
- Maintaining your own financial boundaries
How would you decline being a bridesmaid? Let us know in the comments, and follow the convo on Facebook!
Header image via Caleb Oquendo
You've already picked your wedding date and the close friends you want to be by your side on your special day, but there's still one thing you need to do: sort through bridesmaid gift ideas! While you don't have to go all-out with a bridesmaid "proposal" gift basket (though those are super cute), I'm a firm believer in showing people how much you appreciate them (and their time) by sometimes surprising them with a gift or two. Don't know where to start? I've got you're back. Here are 12 sweet bridesmaid gift ideas, from adorable accessories to beloved beauty products, that'll be remembered for a lifetime!
Fujifilm UO Exclusive INSTAX MINI 12 Instant Camera
One really lovely bridesmaid gift you can gift someone is this compact instant camera! It has a built-in selfie mirror, comes with flash control for the perfect exposure, and will totally remind you of all your fave Instagram pics circa 2014. Plus, your friend will get super cute pics in less than 10 seconds!
Skims Hotel Shine Short Sleeve Button Up Sleep Set (Snow)
If your maid of honor can't stop talking about Bridgerton, surprise her with a sleep set that she can comfortably lounge in while binge watching every season. The drawstring shorts have an elastic waist so she'll be able to adjust them as she pleases.
Peas Pink Memory Custom Fluffy Slippers
Who doesn't love fluffy slippers? They'll definitely be appreciated the morning of your wedding as you and your bridesmaids are getting ready, but I'd like to think their wear goes way beyond one day. And when they're personalized, your bridesmaids will know you took great care to get this thoughtful gift for them.
If you want, you can even get yourself a pair so everyone can take cute and coordinated 'getting ready' pics!
Papier Tulip Vase Wellness Journal
Everyone could use a little self-care, especially the bridesmaid who seems to have her hands full with everything from Pilates to being a full-time entrepreneur. She'll find 12-weeks of pages geared towards tracking her goals, habits, and anything she's extremely grateful for.
Olive & Piper Mini Bordeaux Stud Earrings (Gold)
The bride isn't the only one who should get something shiny and sparkly! Surprise your matron of honor — or any of your bridal party — with these gorgeous earrings the morning of your wedding to let her know how much you appreciate her.
They're hypoallergenic and nickel-free, so she doesn't have to worry about having an allergic reaction while wearing them.
Mint & Lily Personalized Tie the Knot Bracelet
Have a bridesmaid who can't get enough of customizing virtually everything she owns? Show her that you've noticed by surprising her with this 'Tie the Knot' bracelet! It's made of waterproof stainless steel, comes with a personalized charm, and has a high rating of 4.7 stars on Mint & Lily!
Benevolence LA Store Plush Velvet Jewelry Box (Emerald Green)
I'm sure we all have that one friend who complains about misplacing her favorite dainty necklaces and earrings. Take the weight off her shoulders by gifting her this plush velvet jewelry box!
Topicals Faded Under Eye Brightening & Clearing Eye Masks
Did one of your bridesmaids enjoy your bachelorette party a little too much and has dark circles the morning of your wedding? Tell her not to panic because you've got a tiny gift for her in the form of Topicals Brightening & Clearing Eye Masks! They're hydrating and plumping so all signs of the night before will disappear after tosses these on!
Yes Way Rosé, Southern France
Bridesmaid gift ideas roundup wouldn't be complete without a little booze — especially when it's a pretty bottle of rosé that's budget-friendly! It tastes like crisp rose with notes of ripe strawberry, citrus, and stone fruit so she'll be sipping on something that feels delicious as well as refreshing.
Gold Belly Arabesque — Box of 42 Macarons
You can never go wrong with a pretty box of gluten-free macarons! Some of the flavors your bridesmaid can enjoy munching on are:
- Blackcurrant Violet
- Caramel, Chocolate
- Coffee, Lemon
- Marie-Antoinette
- Orange Blossom
- Pistachio
- Raspberry
- Rose
- Strawberry Candy
- Vanilla
Simple Modern Trek 40oz Stainless Steel Lidded Tumbler Powder Coat (Pink)
It's not cliché to carry around a stainless steel tumbler anymore, especially if you have a bridesmaid who's known for slipping into her walking shoes and keeping up with her water intake on a daily basis. This one's a little less pricey than a Stanley, which really helps if you're buying one for every bridesmaid.
BÉIS 'The Medium Check-In Roller Suitcase (Atlas Pink)
If you're having a destination wedding and don't have a huge bridal party, surprise them with their very own BÉIS Atlas Pink carry-on roller suitcases! This expandable suitcase has a welcomed TSA lock, 360 degree wheels, and has the best interior organization I've ever seen.
I'm sure this will be one of the top bridesmaid gift ideas your wedding party will thank you for!
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Lead image via Etsy
When you're often the life of the party and happen to be partnered up and in your 30s, you'll instantly turn heads when you say no to booze. I can personally attest to the difficulty of this. As someone who loves happy hour and has a particular affinity for lemon drop shotsin totally inappropriate settings, there was no way I could get away with *not* drinking without inviting questioning looks.
Before I give you the guide to fake drinking when you're secretly pregnant, let me take this moment to make a PSA. If you see that a female friend of yours isn't drinking and she usually does, try not to ask her if she's expecting in front of everyone. She might be secretly pregnant, taking fertility drugs that can't be combined with alcohol, just trying to lower her dosage of alcohol with the hope that it helps her get pregnant. There's also the chance she might just be…not drinking. Be as it may, no one wants to be bombarded with pregnancy questions.
Of course, not everyone is going to take my PSA seriously, so I've got some tips and tricks for all you pre-reveal preggos. These same tips apply to gals who are not drinking because they are trying to conceive. I was personally in this non-drinking camp for about five months before getting pregnant.
And how's this for proof? I organized and attended a bachelorette party for two of my very best friends with about eight of my other besties present — and no one had ANY idea I was pregnant. So, trust me — I'm a bona fide pro at fake drinking.
Keep reading for the best tips to happily sip drinks in a way that won't make your besties raise an eyebrow
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Opt for canned beer
This was one of my earliest discoveries in the world of fake drinking. No one can see your drink when it's in a can. You might read that and think, yeah so? Well, take that can with you to the other can, and dump it out in the sink. Fill it up with water and no one will be the wiser. In fact, they'll think — wow, she's really blasting through those Coors Lights. Pro tip: Be sure to wipe any water drips off the can before you leave the bathroom, and rinse the sink so there's no errant beer foam floating around.
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If you have to order a real drink, choose a clear cocktail. This is the classic move. You creep over to the bar when no one else is around, and order a club soda with lime. Think of it as a mocktail. Be sure to ask the bartender to serve it to you in a cocktail glass — a giant water glass or plastic cup is a dead giveaway.
If it's impossible to get alone time at the bar, order a vodka soda (or gin and tonic). Then take it to the bathroom, dump out the liquid (use a straw to keep the ice and any garnishes in the cup), then fill it with water instead. Complain about the soda or tonic being flat if anyone questions your drink's lack of tiny bubbles.
Rosee Canfield for Brit + Co
Make friends with bartenders. At first, bartenders give you a bit of side-eye when you ask for a club soda in a cocktail glass. They won't ask you what the deal is, but you can let them assume what they like — especially when you order that second or third club soda in a cocktailglass.
If you're feeling cavalier, and you and the bartender have really hit your stride, you can even say, “I'll take anything non-alcoholic that looks like a cocktail." I actually made SUCH good friends with a bartender at a wedding where I was fake drinking that every time I came over to the bar, he immediately winked at me and gave me “my regular." My friends guffawed at the fact that I was already friends with the bartender. Pro.
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Allude to a possible tannin allergy. Wine is the toughest thing to fake, so don't even try. Tell your friends about how, out of nowhere, you've started to get headaches immediately after drinking a glass of wine. When they're like, “Is it just when you drink red?" reply with a frustrated sigh, “No, both red and white make me feel crappy — maybe it's a tannin thing?" Then get your faux canned beer or clear mocktail, and call it a day.
Rosee Canfield for Brit + Co
Ginger ale is a GREAT substitute for Champagne. Ginger ale looks like Champagne, it smells kind of like Champagne, and if your friends are tipsy enough and take a sip, they'll actually believe that it IS Champagne. Don't overdo this one though — too much sugary soda is not a good thing for you and your secret babe!
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Pretend to be getting over a cold (so no one asks for a sip). After all, it's sick season! [Insert fake coughs here]
Rosee Canfield for Brit + Co
Always be the one to order or serve a round of shots. Shots are one of the toughest things to fake. Like, really difficult. And you might be thinking, who still takes shots anyway? Well, the answer is: I do. Or rather, I did. It would have been impossible to be at my two besties' bachelorette party without at least one round of shots. So what's a preggo to do? Serve 'em up, of course.
Because shots are best served as a surprise to inspire a second wind in any given party, you can creep into the kitchen to set things up. Pour all but one, and fill that one with a substitute. Ideally, it looks like what you're serving, and if that's not possible, make 3-5 of them vodka shots including yours, which is actually… water! If ordering shots at a bar, you're probably already friends with the bartender, so just ask him to make yours a fake one and to put a napkin or coaster under it on the tray that comes out.
Rosee Canfield for Brit + Co
Keep a drink in your hand at all times. This is an obvious one, but it's worth mentioning. If you don't have a drink on hand, someone will either hand you one or give you a hard time for not drinking. DO NOT give them that opportunity ;)
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Never leave your drink unattended. Hopefully, you already have this rule in your wheelhouse from your college days. In this case, the key here is avoiding two things: friendly refills and someone accidentally picking up your drink and finding out it's phony.
Rosee Canfield for Brit + Co
Avoid being the first one to hit the hay. If you've already been squirreling around on the beverage front, the next clear sign that you might be secretly pregnant is when you're the first one to go to bed. So don't do that. Don't go to bed. Ever! Okay, at some point you'll need to go to bed because you need a TON of sleep in your first trimester, but avoid being the first party pooper at all costs.
And don't use getting up early “for a run" or “to do some work" as an excuse for going to bed — friends that know you will see right through that.
And there you have it, all you need to know about being a fake party animal when you're in the very early stages of expecting. Cheers! (But fake cheers, obvs.)
What are your best fake drinking tips? Share them with us @BritandCo!
TikTok sensations Barlow & Bear are no stranger to the spotlight. Besides the fact their Unofficial Bridgerton Musical won a Grammy (and basically broke the internet), popstar Abigail Barlow has millions of streams of her own, while Emily Bear performed in places like the White House and Carnegie Hall before turning 10.
So, it’s safe to say these two know what they’re doing. But one thing they never saw coming? Composing a Disney movie — or becoming the first female duo to do so. But that’s exactly what happened when they booked Moana 2.
Keep reading for our exclusive interview with Abigail Barlow & Emily Bear.
- Barlow and Bear composed Moana 2, in theaters November 27.
- They're the first female duo to compose a Disney movie and they hope the experience shows young girls "that their voices matter."
- The duo also spilled on how Lin Manuel Miranda, who composed the original, "empowered" them.
How Barlow And Bear's Bond Influences Their Art
“We have such a sacred sisterhood!” Abigail tells me over email. “We met and found musical soulmates in one another. It’s more than just special. It’s a once in a lifetime connection that laid an incredibly strong foundation for creation.”
“Most of my life I’ve been the only girl in the room writing with much older people,” Emily adds. “Honestly because Abigail and I are like sisters, it creates such a safe place to be vulnerable together and create without restraint. When writing for Moana 2, we leaned on that emotional connection to explore the complexities of the story and how much we see ourselves in Moana!”
And the empowering message of the film, which follows Moana’s journey through Oceania, actually influenced their art. “Every day that I worked on Moana, I was empowered to continuously choose who I wanted to be,” Abigail says. “A leader, a listener, and a learner. In being tasked to write for this movie, I was being asked to go past my comfort zones. I think by being completely open hearted to this experience, it allowed me clarity when crafting the lyric and melody with Emily.”
“Moana 2 is a story about finding strength through vulnerability, and that message became a huge theme in the music,” Emily says. “All our characters’ journeys reminded us to embrace our imperfections and trust the process of growth — no matter how painful it may seem in the moment. Moana is THAT girl. No one defines her but herself and writing for such an inspiring heroine FOR SURE inspired us right back.”
Why Abigail Barlow And Emily Bear Loved Working On 'Moana 2'
Walt Disney Studios
But considering the fact these two women are huge Disney fans (Abigail tells me her favorite Disney movies are The Little Mermaid and Frozen, while Emily loves Hercules and Mulan), one of the most inspiring details about their involvement is the fact that Abigail Barlow and Emily Bear’s Moana 2 score marks the first time a female duo has composed a Disney movie — and it’s a moment they don’t take for granted.
“I hope this shows [young girls] that their voices matter,” Emily says. “Growing up, I barely saw people who looked like me in roles like this, so being here now feels surreal. I want girls and women to know that their stories are powerful and deserve to be told. I really hope that Abigail and I can continue to open doors for more female creatives in film and music.”
And Abigail agrees. “I hope our story encourages young girls and women to forge their own path, and to never let anyone tell them they can’t do something.”
But this unbelievable experience didn’t come without its challenges. “Imposter syndrome is so real and a part of life for every single creative, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying,” Emily says.
“I’m just trying to enjoy the ride, trust the fall, and be so grateful for the opportunity to be a role model for any little girl who might have a song in her heart,” Abigail says. “It’s an absolute honor and privilege to show her that anything — even magic — is possible.”
And according to Emily, the challenge of imposter syndrome actually propels her forward. “I do feel like that little voice of self-doubt pushes me to do the best work I possibly can do…I zoom out and focus on the bigger picture: the little girls watching this movie and realizing they, too, can dream as big as they want.”
How Lin Manuel-Miranda Empowered Barlow And Bear
One friendly face that provided a soft place to land was actually the original movie’s composer, Lin Manuel-Miranda! To no one’s surprise, theIn The Heights and Hamilton writer had some wonderful advice for Barlow and Bear.
“He was such a wonderful resource especially at the inception of the project when we were just setting sail,” Emily jokes. “He urged us to lean into our heroes for inspiration!”
“He gave me a stack of books I needed to buy,” Abigail adds. “Finishing the Hat by Stephen Sondheim, LYRICS by Oscar Hammerstein, Lyrics on Several Occasions by Ira Gershwin to name a few. He empowered me to study the craft of musical theatre storytelling in a way I never had before.”
And thanks to Barlow and Bear, a whole new generation of young women will dream about musical theatre storytelling now too!
Check out Moana 2 in theaters November 27, 2024. Check out the latest news on the Live-Action Moana too!