Craving Guidance? Here's How to Find the Right Mentor For You.

Oct 15, 2021

Identifying a good mentor can be the holy grail of your career. There's something incredibly powerful about having someone in your corner who is a living, breathing manifestation of the phrase, "been there, done that" ... a guide who generously shares their experiences as you navigate your own, cheers you on, and opens up opportunities for you as you grow.

Who doesn't want or need that in their life?! If you're sitting here thinking to yourself, sign me all the way up, we're right there with you.

But here's the thing. While all of this sounds good on paper, knowing how to find a mentor is easier said than done. So if you're seeking mentorship in your life, follow these steps to identify what — and who — you are looking for.

Photo via Christina @ wocintechchat.com/Unsplash.

Defining Your Goals

Before you set out on your search, be introspective about your professional intentions. It's time to do a little homework: dig deep and define your goals. Why? It will make it easier to align with the right mentor and bring them up to speed about your vision for your future self. As you take this opportunity to get your foundational thoughts together, know that you'll have more clarity, specificity, and accountability when a mentor enters your life. So put on your thinking cap and start by asking yourself these questions:

What am I hoping to accomplish?
How feasible is this goal?
How will I know if I've achieved it?
What will success look like?
What time and resources can I dedicate?
What action steps will I take?
What is my timeline?
What sacrifices will this goal require?

Pinpointing The Right Fit For You

Now that you've mapped out your goals, it's time to map out your people. Think about who you look up to, and what you aspire to be. Now compare that to yourself: What's currently missing and how can a mentor help fill the gaps? By thinking about the traits and experiences you're looking to harness, you can start to create a fuller picture of what the ideal mentor looks like:

Where are they in their career?
What professional knowledge can they impart?
What unique perspectives can they provide?
What are their values?
What is their communication style?

Photo via Leon/Unsplash.

Reaching Out to Potential Mentors

Once you know what you're looking for, identify people that fit the bill by looking in your existing professional circles, or asking for referrals from within your personal network.

Then, it's time to set up a preliminary meeting and test out the waters. Let them know that you admire their work or career path and are interested in learning more over coffee. If they seem invested during the meeting, formalize your request for mentorship.

When you frame your ask, it helps to start the exploration informally. Remember, you want to treat this as a business friendship of sorts. Specificity is everything, so clearly express what you're looking for. This connection is a deep investment on both ends.

What does being a mentor mean to you?
How will you meet, and how often?
How will they challenge you?

There isn't a one size fits all approach to initiating a mentor/mentee relationship. Enjoy the process and make the most of the journey!

Interested in how to become a mentor? Selfmade has a mentorship program! Click here to learn more.

Featured photo via Christina @ wocintechchat.com/Unsplash.

Collaboration Hacks Every Small Business Owner Should Know

Verizon

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In our Take 5 series, sponsored by Verizon, we ask women in business about unexpected challenges, their inspirations, recent wins, and how the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program has helped propel their business forward. Here, we meet Therise Edwards, founder/CEO of Teshley Solutions, an education consultancy firm that helps students and families navigate the complexities of the education system K through 12.

What is an unexpected business challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?

I wouldn't call myself a FAFSA (Free Application for Student Aid) expert, but I ended up having to know a lot more about it than I ever anticipated. FAFSA is what administers Pell Grants, which is what a lot of colleges base their financial aid on. I knew about the application changes, and some were excellent, but they made a series of critical errors and a lot of parents were scrambling. It was not my intent to have this as my area of focus; it just became a necessity.

What's a recent small win for your business?

Recent small wins are my collaborations. I formed partnerships with one organization that focuses on students with special needs. I hosted a webinar with the executive director of that organization. I formed a partnership with members from an insurance company on planning and paying for college. That was my first corporate sponsorship. And I've got a series of events coming out because others actually reached out to me. One of them I met through another networking platform, but I got to that platform from one of the sessions that I did with Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program.

How did you start to collaborate with external partners?

Just changing my strategies and my approach, and just being more secure and more emphatic in making connections. It ends up being this continual cycle.

Is there a woman in business that you admire or that you look up to?

I have two. Leontyne Anglin, who runs a nonprofit called Beyond Expectations. She works with a small pool of students, but she just gives them enormous exposure and opportunity. She's brilliant with collaborating with individuals and businesses and really bringing the students what they need. And then the other on a bigger scale is Cate Luzio, founder and CEO of Luminary, who taught her Business Plan Bootcamp through the Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program. She is just a dynamo. She is just so supportive of women entrepreneurs. She's awesome.

How did the Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program help propel your business forward?

All of the collaborations and partnerships with the exception of one all came from joining the Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program. I’ve taken all of the free classes and the one on projections and pricing, something every entrepreneur struggles with, was very helpful. There have been so many of them. Sometimes you're completely ignorant in a category so you take the class and it's like, okay, that's good to have. But then sometimes you sign up for it and it's like, oh, yeah, I did know 90 percent of that, but this other 10 percent is going to be very, very helpful.

Learn more about the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program and Teshley Solutions.

Illustration by Daniela Jordan-Villaveces

Dax Shepard Had The Funniest Reaction To Kristen Bell & Adam Brody's Steamy 'Nobody Wants This' Kiss

I can give you two reasons why Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard's marriage sits high on my admiration list — Veronica Mars and Punk'd. I was in barely in middle school when these two stars graced my TV screen on their respective shows, but they've always stood out to me. Discovering they were dating just seemed to make sense in the grand scheme of good romantic pairings and — as we can see — it turns out Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard think so too.

From their first meet-cute that wasn't actually that cute to the ways they've loved each other through dark times, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard almost make being in love look easy. Here's a breakdown of some of the most important moments of their relationship timeline.

Kristen Bell And Dax Shepard's Relationship Timeline:

Image via Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

2007: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Meet + Begin Dating

The couple haven't been shy about revealing their first time meeting was exactly love at first sight. Kristen Bell admitted during an Instagram Q&A in 2018 that they actually met at a party for producer Shauna Robertson. E! News recalled that the actress said, "2 weeks later I saw him at a hockey game and he asked for the gum in my mouth." Knowing Dax's personality, that actually checks out.

She also revealed his unconventional pickup line. "Truly, his first text to me was: ‘Hi. My name is Dax. I violated your privacy and got your number from Shauna. How do you feel about that,'' she remembered.

Though they did start dating, Kristen regularly trolls Dax about the time they briefly broke up. She told Popsugar, "He sat me down and said, 'I can't have this right now. I think you're wonderful, but I am still dating other people.' And then I, like, liquefied and fell to the ground, but I felt incredibly respected that he had the balls to tell me we weren't in the same place."

Image via Kevin Winter/Getty Images

2009: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Work As Co-Stars During Filming Of When in Rome

Who can forget the hilarious rom-com movie When in Rome? Kristen starred as the 'unlucky in love' main character Beth who finds herself being pursued by a handful of romantic prospects after she picks up coins from a fountain that's supposed to grant love those who dare to take from it. Dax played the role of Gale, a model who was very into himself, and it was funny watching them interact on-screen.

According to People, the couple got engaged shortly after filming ended.

Image via Rick Diamond/Getty Images for CMT

August 2012: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Work Together Again On Set Of Hit & Run

Written by Dax Shepard, Hit & Run revolved around a former getaway driver's attempt to flee his past while making sure his girlfriend makes it to her job interview on time. The couple reprised their romantic relationship onscreen and continued to prove that they work really well together.

Image via Kevin Winter/Getty Images

November 2012: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Announce They're Expecting Baby No. 1

A source relayed the news to People in 2012 by sharing the following statement, "They’re so excited — they’re both ecstatic. They can’t wait to become parents." They also shared that Kristen had been dealing with a bit of morning sickness, but she started doing better as time passed.

March 28, 2013: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard's First Daughter Arrives

Several months later, Kristen gave birth birth to her and Dax's first daughter, Lincoln Bell Shepard.

Image via Jason Merritt/Getty Images

June 2013: Kristen Bell Pops The Question To Dax Shepard

In 2013, People shared that Kristen proposed to Dax Shepard after The Supreme Court overturned California's Prop 8 that was meant to ban same-sex marriage.

October 2013: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Tie The Knot

The couple celebrated their union by exchanging vows at a courthouse. Kristen previously told People they didn't want a grand celebration and they managed to keep their word.

Image via Kevin Winter/Getty Images

June 2014: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Prepare For Baby No. 2's Arrival

The couple happily announced they were growing their family in 2014 via their rep's statement to People. "I can confirm that Kristen and Dax are expecting their second child and a sibling for Lincoln," the rep shared. They also touched on how much their family was looking forward to the arrival of a new bundle of joy.

December 2014: The Couple's Second Daughter Is Born

Finally, the couple welcomed their second daughter, Delta Bell Shepard, before Christmas in 2014.

Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

2017: Dax Shepard And Kristen Bell Star in CHiPS

A couple who works together, stays together — at least that seems to apply Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. They starred together again in the movie CHiPS, but Kristen starred as Dax's ex-wife this time.

Image via Michael Buckner/Getty Images for FIJI Water

September 1, 2018: Kristen Bell And Dax Shepard Celebrate His Sobriety Journey

Dax Shepard has never been ashamed to talk about his sobriety journey and shared a personal moment with that made him question everything He appeared on Blake Griffin's podcast, The Pursuit of Healthiness to talk about his struggles in 2021. "What I would do is I would get sober for movies. I cared more about movies — it was the only thing I was more addicted to was being in movies — and so I would get sober for movies and then in between movies it was getting more and more dangerous," he recalled.

It wasn't until he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror during a trip to Hawaii that he realized something was wrong. He remembered thinking, "I have every single thing I've ever wanted, and I'm at my lowest point emotionally and something has got to be very broken about that. If I have everything I said was going to make me feel good and I feel terrible, I've got to look at some other thing."

To celebrate her husband's commitment to remaining sober, Kristen wrote a heartfelt message on Instagram to encourage him to keep going. "I'm so proud that you have never been ashamed of your story, but instead shared it widely, with the hope it might inspire someone else to become the best version of themselves...I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone, and I want you to know, I see you. I see how hard you work," a portion of the lengthy message reads.

Addiction in any form is never easy to navigate so we admire how much Kristen's been supportive of Dax.

Image via John Sciulli:Getty Images for UNICEF

February 2019: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Launch A Baby Brand

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard decided to launch Hello Bello— a brand with everything from diapers to sun and bug protection — for several reasons. "I want something that's going to fill my soul. I want access to be able to give a lot of stuff away just as gifts, as a way of saying thank you for existing in this hard time called parenting," she told People in 2021.

Image via Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

September 2023: Kristen Bell And Dax Share The Secret To Their Happy Marriage

It's no doubt that Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have experienced a lot throughout their marriage, but they've managed to stay the course. Kristen actually shared some amazing advice for other couples during a conversation with Entertainment Tonight that we're thinking about applying to our own relationships. "Common goals, seek them out," she stressed.

The other thing she feels is crucial to making a relationship work is truly seeing and valuing your partner as a person. "Understanding that your partner used to be a little person is the best thing you can do. Sometimes if we're ever on the verge of a fight, one of us will say — it's usually Dax — 'I feel like 8-year-old Dax right now.' And I'm able to see him like I see my kids, which is in a very different way and go, 'Oh yeah, you're a little person that had trauma and triggers and it's not about me,'" she added.

That's powerful because it can be hard to remember that it's not just about you in a relationship. We don't think people intentionally mean to be selfish, but it can be happen and the key is to acknowledge it instead of doubling down on a particular stance that may not be helpful in the heat of an argument.

October 26, 2024: Dax Shepard Jokes About Kristen Bell's Chemistry With Adam Brody

Nobody Wants This has been the fall rom-com that we can't stop talking about because it's clear Kristen Bell and Adam Brody have intense chemistry in it. Not only were we surprised by it, but it apparently startled Dax Shepard. PEOPLEreports he opened up to the crowd at the New York Festival about it on Saturday, October 28 by recounting a conversation he had with his friend. "...we watched that scene together, the kissing scene, which I'd argue is the very best kissing scene ever, ever put on film," the actor said. "And my best friend, Aaron, from childhood, he goes, 'Does she ever kiss you like that?' No, I didn't even know she could kiss like that."

Dax has no problems poking fun at he and Kristen's relationship so I'm sure they've since debunked that behind closed doors.

Wanna keep up with all your fave celeb couples? Follow us on Facebook for more!

Lead image via John Sciulli/Getty Images for UNICEF

This post has been updated.

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How To Build A Local Community When You’re A Digital Creator

Verizon

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In our Take 5 series, sponsored by Verizon, we ask women in business about unexpected challenges, their inspirations, recent wins, and how the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program has helped propel their business forward. Here, we meet Rita Suzanne, a marketing strategist for health and wellness businesses who learned to network, connect with other entrepreneurs, and build her business online and IRL.

What's an unexpected business challenge that you've had to face and how did you overcome it?

The hardest thing for me was my sister passed away and I ended up taking custody of my nieces. I ended up being a single mom of four kids. This is the thing that transitioned my whole entire life. I stopped doing web design and started my podcast Mom Owned and Operated. I wanted to reconnect with other moms and figure out how they were able to run their businesses and raise a family and take care of themselves because I wasn't able to do all three at the same time. Through that journey, I realized that I really needed to connect with other people and how important it was for my business. It helped me to create that community that I was yearning for that I didn't realize that I needed.

What's a recent small win for your business?

For me, the win was just pivoting back to something that I actually wanted to do. Also, I’ve started to say no to things that I no longer want to do.

Who is a woman in business that you look up to and why?

I have always admired and looked up to Amy Porterfield [author of Two Weeks Notice]. I listened to her all the time when I was starting out. I think that she's amazing and I love her stuff. She just seems like a very genuine person.

Is there a resource that has made an impact on you as an entrepreneur?

I listen to a lot of audio books. One of my favorites that has been huge for me is You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. I was told when I first started my business, by a friend who was a business coach, that I have a mindset problem. Ten years ago, I had no idea even what “mindset” was. Sincero’s book helped me to see what she meant by “mindset” and helped me adjust that mindset and fix some of the things that I didn't realize were broken.

How has the Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program helped propel your business forward?

There are a lot of things that I have loved about it. There are local networking and training opportunities, and that has been great, and the online training is very valuable. It's a great resource. I find that marketing needs a three-tiered approach, meaning you need to network it locally, socially, and then also have a very comprehensive online approach to your marketing. One of the Verizon Small Business trainings that I took was all about taking advantage of your local resources. I found that to be extremely valuable because often people think they need to just focus on social media. I don't think that people focus enough on their local community.

Learn more about the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program and Rita Suzanne.

Illustration by Daniela Jordan-Villaveces

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23 Impressive Last-Minute Halloween Snacks To Serve At Your Spooky Party

Halloween is on its way people! With just a handful of weeks to go, it's crunch time to find a costume and figure out what you'll be doing the night of October 31. Whether you're throwing a Halloween party and still need to figure out a food and drink recipes or you need a fun dish to bring to the one you're attending, these quick and easy Halloween snacks are here to help! After all, you don't want guests to be left hangry – that would be frightening. Have no fear! We have some last-minute Halloween snacks that are fast, festive, and tasty AF.

Brit + Co

Mummy Jalapeño Poppers

This savory Halloween snack can be made as spicy as your guests want it – just scoop a little or all of the jalapeño seeds out before stuffing these 'mummies' with cheese and wrapping them in store-bought crescent roll dough.

Brit + Co

Deviled Egg Brains

Your party pals will definitely be freaked out by this bite! Red food coloring aids in turning traditional deviled egg filling a spooky pink color.

Half Baked Harvest

Sweet and Salty Healthier Caramel Apples

Made without any processed sugar, these caramel apples require just a few ingredients: apples, maple syrup, honey, cream, vanilla, chocolate, and flaky salt.

A Spicy Perspective

Halloween Popcorn Mix

This candy-coated bowl of popcorn loads up on festive accoutrements like candy corn, pumpkins, and Halloween sprinkles.

Salt & Lavender

Halloween Puppy Chow

Add Halloween-themed sprinkles to some classic Chex mix for a spooky seasonal snack.

Handmade Charlotte

Monster Party Bark

Melt a few chocolate bars with some pretzels, candy eyes, and coconut flakes for a salty-sweet Halloween snack that will be ready in only three minutes.

Sally's Baking Addiction

Halloween Pretzel Bites

Just place small pieces of chocolate on top of pretzels, heat them long enough for the chocolate to soften, then lightly place a candy corn on top. Viola! Simple, tasty treats with a twist – and no tricks!

The Healthy Family and Home

Chipotle Pumpkin Hummus

We don't know anyone who doesn't love hummus. This quick dip can be served with crackers or veggies for a healthy Halloween party snack.

Crowded Kitchen

Halloween Pumpkin Covered Strawberries

If you have some strawberries on-hand, this recipe is made even easier. Just grab some orange candy melts and decorate away!

Polka Dot Chair

Caramel-Dipped Marshmallows

Simply dip marshmallows in caramel, then cover them in some cute holiday sprinkles for an easy treat that everyone won't stop snacking on.

Skinnytaste

Banana Boo Pops

Put a festive touch on the classic frozen chocolate “boo-nana" by giving them a ghostly makeover. The only heavy lifting you'll have to do for this recipe is let them sit in the freezer for a bit.

Delia Creates

Spiderweb Pretzels

Melt some chocolate, then swirl it over pretzel sticks for a spooky spiderweb-like snack. These could be served alone, or on a cake or ice cream.

Completely Delicious

Halloween Candy Bark

Whether you're using new or leftover Halloween candy, this bark recipe is super simple.

Home Made Interest

Apple Kabobs

Buy a package of pre-sliced apples, then dip them in chocolate and caramel for an easy alternative to a favorite Halloween pastime. Plus, they're just easier to eat!

Suburbia Unwrapped

Candy Corn Fruit Parfait

For a sweet treat that's still healthy, skip the candy corn and cut up some colorful fruit in its place.

This Wife Cooks

Sweet and Salty Pumpkin Seeds

For flavors both sweet and salty, these pumpkin seeds can be made in a jiffy.

Miss Candiquik

Strawberry Ghosts

Dip some strawberries in white chocolate, then give them chocolate chip eyes and a mouth for these cute and tasty snacks.

Bren Did

Tangerine Pumpkins

Peel a few tangerines and place a small piece of celery in the middle to make these tangerine pumpkins. Bonus: these can definitely double as the perfect kid's snack for school.

Feel Good Foodie

Witches' Brooms

To make these adorable 'brooms,' you'll push a pretzel in the end of a sliced string cheese stick.

Culinary Hill

Halloween Walnuts

These nutty little guys are the perfect snacking companion for the holiday.

Averie Cooks

Loaded Halloween Cream Cheese Brownies

These super soft and gooey brownies are the ultimate snack that'll melt in your mouth. They're perfect for anyone who has a sweet tooth and loves a combination of fudge, oreo cookies, and cream cheese. Plus, you'll taste a hint of vanilla extract in it that serves as a nice surprise!

Completely Delicious

Halloween Candy Bark

Looking for chill Halloween snacks to munch on throughout the day? Make this holiday candy bark that has all the makings of a trick-or-treat explosion. You'll need everything from bittersweet chocolate to your favorite Halloween candies for this fun recipe.

Kathryn's Kitchen Blog

Halloween Popcorn Mix

Got a taste for something that involves trail mix and popcorn? This Halloween snack has your name written all over it! It takes less than an hour to perfect and involves popcorn, a little sugar, honey, salt, and more delicious ingredients! In our mind, it's the perfect sweet and salty treat you'll want to recreate every season!

What are some of your favorite Halloween snacks? Let us know in the comments, and join our newsletter for more holiday inspiration!

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

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40 Plus-Size Halloween Costumes To Complement Your Curves

We have a serious appreciation for all things creative, like these plus-size Halloween costumes, and we have a hunch you’ll love some of our newest finds, too. Afterward, if you still haven’t decided on which costume to wear this Halloween, gather your group of besties and get their opinion — or, better yet, pick out a group Halloween costume, and you can all dress up together! Here are 40 of the most curve-lovin’ (and seriously hot) plus-size Halloween costumes you’ll find out there this season.

Yandy

Cruella de Vil

Cruella de Vil will always hold a special place among our most-feared villains, right alongside Voldemort and Ursula. After all, she’s going after puppies! But on Halloween, the celebration of the gruesome and morbid, this evilness equates to fabulousness, and we’ll more than forgive you for dressing up like her… just this once.

Walmart

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

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