How to Handle Your Finances Like an Actual Adult

1. Not automating your savings

When's the last time you actually put money in savings when you said you would? Let me guess: it went towards your fave Chick-Fil-A meal or the Valentine's Day decor you couldn't resist buying. This is a judge-free zone, so I'm not here to make you feel bad, but sometimes our best efforts to save money fall flat. Yet have no fear because there's a solution that stems from something you've been overlooking.

"One of the most common money mistakes is not automating your savings. If you’ve ever gotten to the end of the month and felt guilty because you didn’t save any money (or as much as you hoped), this is one thing you can do to help yourself out," says Dunlap. According to her, this looks like you taking the time to "set up an automated transfer from your checking to your savings, at least once a month." You could "set up the transfer on the first day of the month, maybe on the first and half-way through the month, whatever works for you."

But don't worry about getting things "wrong" because Dunlap doesn't think the amount you transfer has "to be a lot" because "even $20 means we're choosing progress." In her opinion, the very act of automating your savings means "you're doing the hard thing first!"

2. Overlooking high yield savings accounts

In addition to having an automated savings transfer, it also matters what kind of account you're putting your money into. I'm 100% guilty of going beyond a basic savings account as a broke college student because I was terrified I wouldn't understand the terms of what I was doing. Apparently I'm not the only one because Dunlap says we tend to overlook "ensuring that savings money is going into a high yield savings account. But, what is it?

"This is just like a normal savings account, but it’s going to earn you WAY more in interest. Basically, your savings are going to make you more savings," she shares. If you're scratching your head and need more information, we've got your back! Basically, "this is going to be the perfect account to keep your emergency fund in," according to Dunlap.

Instead of being limited to when you can access your funds (like a certificate of deposit or CD), she says "you can take your money out at any time, your money is insured," and "the partner" she and her team "recommend" doesn't have "fees" or "minimums." However, she warns "terms always apply, so check with your bank" before making a hasty decision.

3. Treating your retirement account as an investment

Full transparency moment: I didn't start paying attention to my retirement account until I left my prior job and had to roll the funds over. Even then, I thought I didn't have to focus on investments because I was sure my new IRA covered all the bases. Wrong! "...one of the biggest financial mistakes is believing the misconception that a retirement account itself is an investment–your IRA is not the investment, it's an account that HOLDS your investments," stresses Dunlap.

Her advice? "Don't just put money into a Roth without actually investing it. It’s a two-step process: make sure you transfer money into your account, and then buy investments with that money."

4. Going into debt to enjoy yourself

I fear little treat culturesunk its teeth in us and hasn't let go. I'm a recovering shopaholic who puts things in my cart and empties it if I ever feel the urge to do some unhinged damage to my debit card. Still, there are other people who are still in the trenches of living a FOMO-life.

"We know Millennials and Gen Z-ers are more likely to splurge or go into debt for travel, events and entertainment than their generational counterparts–there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun money (plus, I don’t blame them after the pandemic), but we want to make sure we’re not going into debt or dipping into an emergency fund to make it happen," says Dunlap.

If there's something you really want to do, back away from the credit card and listen to Dunlap's suggestions first. She says, "For something like a big trip or a concert, I would suggest starting a sinking fund or a dedicated high-yield savings account. That way, you know you’ve saved that money for the exact purpose you’re using it for, and you get to protect your emergency fund and credit cards in the process."

5. Waiting too long to start a retirement fund

Be honest: do you have a retirement fund? If your answer is no, Dunlap is ready to have a heart-to-heart with you. "In addition to not investing, I see a lot of women waiting too long to start preparing for retirement," she says. It's so easy for Millennials and Gen Z to think our elderly years are far away, but that doesn't mean we can't start planning for them now.

Also, saving or investing your money while you have debt isn't a sign of irresponsibility. Dunlap says, "You may have heard that all of your debt needs to be gone before you start investing–sure, some of your debt needs to be gone." Of course she'd like to see "your high cost debt like credit card debt" lowered as much "as possible before you prioritize investing," but she doesn't want you to "wait too long to start investing because" you think your "other finances aren't perfect," you're clueless about next steps, or think you "need a billion dollars to get started."

All you have to do is try. "...you’ve got to start somewhere, and something is better than nothing," adds Dunlap.

6. Bypassing investing because you have limited information

Financial literacy is important, but you're not incompetent because you have limited information about investing. Dunlaps says she sees "people believing the misconception that investing means you’re just selecting individual stocks and taking a gamble on them." Though she agrees it's "an option," she wants you to realize it's "not the only one." So, what to do?

"You can also consider investing in index funds. Essentially, this is a group of companies or groups of stocks. So rather than putting all of your eggs in one basket, you’re putting your money towards something more diversified and low-risk, that’s going to be less of a gamble long-term," suggests Dunlap.It's actually something she likes and teaches about in Stock Market School. "...index funds made me a millionaire," she offers.

BRB, going to sign up so I can get my finances together once and for all.

7. Shying away from budgeting because you don't want to be restricted

Friends, we can't keep running away from the "budgeting" word. It hasn't helped us, especially if we've been crying about sneaky expenses that are doing a number on our accounts. There's a reason we keep running from it though.

"A lot of us associate a budget with restriction–the idea that in order to save money, you have to restrict yourself and keep a tighter budget. But if you treat money like a diet, it will inevitably fail," Dunlap points out. Here's a secret she wants you to know: "It’s not your fault that you’re not sticking to your budget, it’s just psychology! If you tell me I can’t have fried chicken, all I’m going to do is want fried chicken. Psychology."

Her point is that "a super restrictive budget just doesn’t work, it's not sustainable" because "your budget shouldn’t stop you from doing things." Instead, she feels "it should be the thing that allows you to do things comfortably." You know like buying those new pair of shoes without calculating if you're going to forfeit part of your cell phone bill.

Dunlap further says, "I’m not going to tell you to stop spending money, because that’s not the solution. I am just going to tell you to stop spending money on things you don’t care about." Her number one suggestion for "helping your budget" is to "establish 3 areas of your life where you get the most joy (ex. eating out, traveling, nesting)."

"When you review your budget, these are going to be the 3 areas you make sure your spending is in line with," she also says.

8. Pretending your debt doesn't exist

How many of us are guilty of ignoring the credit card bill until we get our statement? According to Dunlap, that's a terrible idea. "The first thing is to make sure you know your numbers, and aren’t running from them–the only way to take control of your debt is by avoiding what’s called the Ostrich Effect.

This is when you avoid addressing and accessing a situation because you’re afraid of what you’ll find," she says. Wondering who the ostrich is in this situation? You are because you're keeping your "head in the sand." However, it's "so common when it comes to debt, but conquering it is the first step to making progress."

Next up? Get familiar with "tackling debt" by "building an emergency fund — regardless of how much debt you're in," says Dunlap. Even if things feel like they're going really well, she knows "life is inevitably going to throw you a few curve balls." Here's looking at you unexpected car crash that totaled my car last year.

"If you're not prepared for emergencies, you still need to find a way to navigate them–whether that’s dipping into your savings, using credit cards, or asking family and friends for help. We don’t want you to have to do that–we want you to have an emergency fund that you can use," she says. It "safeguards you from going into more debt in an already stressful situation," according to her.

After you've started building a nice emergency fund, she can't wait for you to use her "favorite debt handling method" called "the Debt Avalanche."

1. Write down all of your debts, listing them from highest interest rate to lowest, and how much the minimum payment is on each.
2. Calculate your total minimum payments to give you an idea of how much you need to pay every month to keep current.
3. Start paying extra on the credit line with the highest interest rate. Keep paying the minimums on the rest. This process works best when you focus on one bill at a time.
4. Once you’ve paid off the debt with the highest interest rate, move down the list to the next one and start paying whatever extra you can towards it each month.

Again, Dunlap doesn't want you to feel like you have to have a fail-proof system in place. "Start where you’re at — you’ll be amazed how fast that debt will start disappearing even with just an extra $15 – $20 a month."

Noted! How can I create attainable financial goals this year?

Now that you're ready to stop making financial mistakes, you can start thinking about your overall money goals for the year. Dunlap says, "One thing you can do to make your goals automatically more achievable is attach them to a mission. It’s one thing to give it a deadline and make it specific, but thinking about what achieving it actually means to you is going to drive you to accomplish it a little more."

An example she gives is you saying "'I will save my first $100K (specific) by the end of 2026 (timely)'," but she asks, "what does that mean to you, what does it get you? Why is important?"

Per her suggestion, "add your answer as a part of your goal statement." She says you could write something like "'because I want to have enough money to quit my toxic job (mission-driven).'"

Doing this "makes accomplishing your goal about more than the money, and reminds you why you're doing it in the first place," she says as her final piece of guidance.

1. You're using money as a way to compare yourself to your friend.

Seeing it worded like this sounds harsh and is sure to illicit the following responses:

1. "Are you kidding me? I'd never do that!"
2. "There's no comparison between my friend and I. I love them too much to do that."
3. "It's not like I'm hurting my friend when I try to give them advice."

Even if you're not proud of it, there's a reason why comparison feels a embedded. Hughes says you're zeroing in on your friend's finances because of your "mindset." She further explains, "...we compare because money either separates you or brings you together. It's a social comparison because it's one of the most powerful tools to create the life you desire." This checks out if you and your friend are always talking about the kind of futures you want.

Here's the clincher: Hughes says, "Some are motivated by others, and some become jealous and hopeless."

2. The childhood lessons you learned about money are on full display.

Did you grow up hearing "money doesn't grow on trees" or "Anyone who doesn't save their money is being wasteful?" You may not think about it, but plays a role in how you look at other people's habits. Hughes says, "...judgment comes from our social upbringing. Some people have a scarcity mindset, so they hoard all their money." This could explain why you're less likely to spend money on things you consider frivolous while thinking your friend who does has lost a grip on reality.

The other side of this is being in a position where you didn't have to worry about money growing up. "If you are from a wealthier family, you know that money is a tool that flows." But, you're not off the hook from having negative opinions about others. You could still "judge others for not being smart and investing their money," according to Hughes.

3. You may be jealous of your friend or annoyed with their complaints.

You can adore your friend while envying them for having the luxury to do whatever they want with their money. It's not to say they're truly in the position be carefree, but their ability to believe they'll be okay no matter what may make you see green. Then again, you may resent your friend for complaining about financial hardships they're in because of bad choices.

Like Hughes has mentioned earlier, there's so many reasons why everyone judges each other. She reiterates, "Usually, it's a place of jealousy," and it can show up differently based on your friend's circumstances.

"If your friends travel and you can't afford it, it creates discontent," she uses as an example, but "if your friends complain about not having money and bad spending habits, you may be annoyed and frustrated because their habits don't align with their perceived values," she adds.

4. You're unable to handle the same criticism you're dishing out.

It's easy to judge others for doing something we think isn't right, but it's harder to accept the same vein of criticism. Hughes says people who consistently critique their friends' spending habits wouldn't have a hard time paying attention to their own choices if they were genuinely seeking "expert guidance on how to manage money instead of avoiding it."

For example, you could feel envious of the friend who has a good relationship with money while you're always spending it as soon as you get paid. "Some people cannot hold on to cash because they don't feel they deserve it. It's the subconscious programming that prevents them from making changes," says Hughes.

Here's what to do if you're truly concerned about your friend's finances

Approach the topic delicately

Sometimes we love to pose aggressive interventions with our friends because we "know" them. While this may work in some cases, it could backfire if you're adding to the guilt they're already feeling.

"If they ask for feedback or they complain in a moment, you can get curious and ask questions that allow them to realize their mistakes," suggests Hughes. Don't go thinking this is your shining moment to make your friend change, however.

"Ultimately, it's up to that person to receive feedback. If they don't want the input, it's best not to express your opinion as it doesn't impact you..." Hughes remarks.

Here's how to set a firm boundary with a friend who can't keep their opinions to themselves

If you've found yourself on the receiving of constant opinions about how you spend money, we know you're annoyed. We're irritated for you because invasive questions or thoughts about money can ruin a longstanding friendship!

You can say something like, "While I appreciate your concerns, I will figure this out". You must take control of the conversation and be assertive if others are crossing a boundary. This usually reflects a lack of boundaries in relationships beyond finances- so chances are your relationship already lacks boundaries.

Has Gemma been an innie the whole time?

TikTok user @msauroraalice made the connection that Severance season 2 episode 9, "The After Hours," has the same title as a specific Twilight Zone episode in which a mannequin, well, forgets she's a mannequin. And now we're all wondering whether Severance is going to reveal a very similar plotline with Gemma.

"Could Gemma have been manufactured at Lumon and all of her experience with Mark is just a severed version of herself," @msauroraalice says, theorizing that "there is no Gemma."

"I bet this next episode, Gemma or Helly has a horrifying discovery about themselves just like the mannequin realizing she's not even alive," she continues.

Clearly, this Twilight Zone episode has a ton of similarities to Severance, with the split identities of it all. And as one Reddit user just made it even more heartbreaking by saying, "She could be an experiment from the very start which is why they went as far as to fake her death and recruit Mark to work for them. That would be heartbreaking. It would mean Mark and Gemma 's relationship was manufactured from the beginning."

"The After Hours" is sure to set us up for a crazy 'Severance' season 2 finale.

After everything Mark has been through, this would truly be a heartbreaking turn of events and I don't know if I could handle it! I'm not alone, either. TikTok users flooded the comments of the post (which has over 900K views).

"If Gemma was never a full person to begin with I'm gonna lose my mind," one user said, while another theorized, "I think Gemma is real but she actually died. Lumon had plans for her to begin with so they revived her body because they effectively own it and now she's stuck in purgatory testing."

But if this Severance theory breaks your heart as much as it breaks mine, there's a silver lining. "The next episode after 'The After Hours' from TWZ is called 'The Mighty Casey' and is about a robot who becomes more human I believe," a third TikTok user says.

But honestly, emotional devastation — and peeling back a character's insecurities, fears, and heartbreak to get to their core — make for really good TV because of how relatable those moments can be. So we'll just have to see what the Severance season 2 finale has in store.