With the holidays now approaching almost eerily quickly, you might already be feeling slightly uneasy about the family stresses that are bound to be on your plate (along with delicious Christmas cookies, of course). Spending a lot of time face-to-face with family can dig up old arguments or squabbles that everyone may have forgotten during the rest of the year.
You’re not the only one dealing with the drama, though, and while your own family issues might feel somewhat out of your control, there might be more you can do to take the edge off the stress that your friends are feeling in anticipation of holiday gatherings. Keep scrolling for eight expert tips for how to best offer support to your most stress-ridden BFFs.
Being a good listener is one of the most basic — and yet most important — things you can do as a friend 365 days of the year, but when tensions run high near the holidays, those listening skills become all the more crucial. You might even consider resisting the urge to speak, like, at all. “Be a good listener and don’t give advice,” licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says. “Supporting someone doesn’t mean that you have to fix their problem. Instead, truly being supportive means giving a hug when someone is crying and being a caring friend.”
Rather than reassuring your friend that things at family celebrations may not be as bad as they fear, trust what they know about the situation and help them wrap their head around what’s to come. This should minimize the stress for them in the long run. “If you expect it and it happens, situation normal,” certified life coach Susan Golicic tells us. “If you expect it and it doesn’t, well, then, a bonus!”
Going into any situation with a plan almost always feels better than going in unprepared. Per writer, speaker, and healing expert Alisa Zipursky, a helpful plan might include specific check-in times, a code word that indicates your friend needs extra support, and ideas for creating healthy boundaries with family members who make them feel especially triggered. “The idea is to make asking for help as easy as possible,” Zipursky says. “Making sure a proactive plan is in place well before someone enters the stressful situation can help relieve some of the anticipatory anxiety.”
Licensed counselor Maria Inoa recommends that you prioritize regular touch-base texts over the course of whatever event is causing your friend the most stress. It’s not about solving the conflicts or taking away their pain. Instead, you can focus on offering gentle reminders that you are thinking of them and are available if they need you.
If your friend’s family holiday celebrations don’t exactly inspire positive feelings about the occasion, why not help them establish some better associations? Licensed clinical professional counselor Anna Poss suggests planning a “low-stress, fun way to celebrate with each other before or after the actual holiday.” Get a seasonal movie night or cookie swap on the calendar before everyone leaves town to hang with family. Those cozy vibes may help dull the negative, anxious feelings.
Grab some pretty stationery and put your love and support on paper for your BFF. “In the note, remind her how strong, courageous, and capable she is,” licensed psychotherapist and life coach Diane Petrella says. “Let her know how much you love and admire her and how grateful you are for her friendship. Write whatever you think your friend needs to hear to feel supported, grounded, and loved.” Remind her to hide the note in her pocket or bag so she can read it whenever she needs a little extra TLC over the course of the holidays. You can even go one step further and send them home with a care package, per therapistShannon Thomas.
If things have gotten so bad with your bestie’s family that she wants to steer clear of their celebrations entirely, you may want to invite her to join you and your crew instead. Even if she opts to decline your invitation, it will mean a lot to her to know that she has choices. If your friend does take you up on the offer, Mountainside Treatment Center‘s family wellness manager Tina Muller recommends that you try to incorporate some of her favorite traditions into your holiday schedule.
“Before an event with possible family issues even happens, schedule a time not long after to see the friend,” marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein suggests. “Now you’ve become the light at the end of the tunnel for them.” Be prepared to be a listening ear over dinner or a workout session so your pal can vent about everything that’s gone on and (hopefully) be ready to move on from there.
How do you and your pals support each other through the not-so-fun parts of the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo.
(Photo via Getty)
Fans of Fourth Wing are on pins and needles because Rebecca Yarros just announced she's finished writing the third book in the Empyrean series! It's us, we're fans — along with over half of BookTok.
We can't believe we're getting closer to reading more about Violet Sorrengail's journey, but we know you have a ton of burning questions about the release date for Book No. 3.
We may not have all the answers, but we've done a little digging to share as much as we can because who doesn't want to know what Rebecca Yarros has been up to?
Amazon
I'm not going to lie to you. The editorial team, including myself, are extremely biased about Fourth Wingand Iron Flame. From my perspective, I think these are great books for anyone who had the pleasure of growing up during the great Harry Potter era and moved on to watchingGame of Thrones and House of Dragons.
YES! Book No. 3 is titled Oynx Storm.
Knowing what we do about the manifestation of Violet's powers, I think this could hint she's going to play an even larger role in the series. According to a fan theory shared on TikTok(via Empyrean Riders), it's believed that Violet and Xaden Riorson are actually gods. Stay with me here.
Empyrean Riders noted that Violet's last name means heavenly and that she's able to control time thanks to her connection to the young dragon Andarna (I love her so much!). That sounds pretty god-like to me.
And when asked which two Taylor Swift songs describe Onyx Storm, Rebecca Yarros chose "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" from The Tortured Poets Department and "So It Goes..." from Reputation. "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" is one of Taylor's most powerful songs and definitely translates the idea that Violet's powers are going to be stronger than ever, while "So It Goes..." is equal parts suspense and seduction, and is TOTALLY about "all the pieces fall right into place" to get together with the right person.
There's so much more to unpack so I suggest grabbing a yummy snack while you fall down the rabbit hole. All I'm sure of is that Onyx Storm is going to leave our emotions in shambles just like Fourth Wing and Iron Flame did.
Rebecca Yarros/Instagram
On June 17, Rebecca Yarros shared this image of her laptop to indicate she'd finished the third book in the Empyrean series.
She wrote, "(Pic from one of the very many locations in which this book was written)," towards the end of the caption before adding a few relevant hashtags to it.
Rebecca Yarros exclusively told Good Morning America that fans can expect the book to hit shelves January 21, 2025! That gives us a little over six months to prepare our emotions for what's sure to be a storm of a book.
She said, "There will be politics, new adventures, old enemies and of course, dragons." There's no way she could forget the dragons because I'd willingly riot over them. They deserve to have their stories told forever.
As luck would have it, Cosmopolitan received an exciting first look at what's to come in Onyx Storm. The excerpt begins with Violet realizing the Venin have found their way into Basgiath War College and are wreaking havoc. Alongside Rhiannon, Sawyer, and Ridoc, she races to stop the Venin from releasing Jack Barlowe from his prison cell.
However, Violet's shocked when she discovered one of the "dark wielders" has a long silver braid that closely resembles her own. Before she can fully react, the woman disappears. According to Screen Rant, there are possible theories about why Violet saw her and what this means for her growing power.
Towards the end of the excerpt, Violet discovers the Venin want to capture her too. Also, Xaden makes his long-awaited appearance and it's clear their playful banter in the face of danger hasn't changed. That he hasn't fully changed into the Venin Violet's used to seeing.
I officially can't wait to read the rest of the book in January!
Today/Bree Archer, Elizabeth Turner Stokes for Entangled Publishing
Onyx Storm
Yes!
TODAY received an exclusive look at the cover for Onyx Storm and it doesn't disappoint! Unlike its predecessors, it appears Rebecca Yarros is hinting that darker events will take place.
Fans of the Empyrean series aren't the only ones who are excited to see what fate has in store for our favorite characters though. In a statement to TODAY, Rebecca revealed how elated she is to be working on the series again. "It's amazing to be back with these characters again. She also said, ""I can't wait for readers to see what Violet, Xaden, and the rest of the quadrant have in store for them in Onyx Storm!"
Are you excited for the release of Onyx Storm? Follow us on Facebook for more entertainment news!
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This post has been updated.
Last year, some of us celebrated the holidays apart from our families for the first time. COVID has brought with it many changes, some of them arguably positive (like increased flexibility to work from home), some difficult (such as the realization of vastly different political and social views between family and friends), and some horrible (obviously, the health implications of a global pandemic). However, for some of us, celebrating the holidays without family members isn't exclusively due to COVID. In addition to so many of us living in different areas than our families of origin, some of us simply don't have close bonds with the people we grew up around. Sometimes, this can cause loneliness.
If you're not close with your family members, the holidays can be a difficult time. This is doubly true if you don't have a close circle of friends to call upon. But make no mistake, if this sounds like your situation, you're not alone — there are thousands of other people going through the same struggles you are. We sat down with Irad Eichler, founder of Circles, a website that connects people who are sharing similar struggles, like heartbreak, grief, or loneliness. Here are some of Eichler's tips for coping — and even thriving! — during the holiday season when you're not planning on spending it with your family, for one reason or another.
The first VERY important step to having a joyous holiday season when you're going it alone is to stop believing the narrative that others' family situations are perfect, Eichler says.
"Remember people only post a moment in time, and only the moments when they look their happiest and best."
In addition to the fact that everything you see on social media is curated for the 'gram, it's also important to remember that by focusing on what others have and you lack, you risk failing to see the great things at play in your own life.
"These holiday periods can become a time of focusing on who and what we don't have, rather than who or what we do, and can cause a negative spiral into depressing and dreadful feelings of inadequacy," says Eichler.
Gratitude is the reason for the season, after all. So instead of only seeing the negative, try some gratitude journal prompts to help you focus on what's actually really wonderful about your life right now.
While it may seem like everyone has friends and family to spend time with during the holiday season, that doesn't mean no one is available for deepening a blossoming relationship or new friendship.
"Make a list of people you can or would like to connect with, and try to reach out to at least one of them," advises Eichler.
Reaching out doesn't have to mean a big plan or an hour-long conversation. Even a quick text letting a friendly coworker know you're thinking about them can go a long way toward deepening the relationship and moving it in the direction of closer friendship.
Don't have an acquaintance in mind? Then it's time to make new acquaintances. What's more in line with the Christmas spirit than attending a Meetup or event full of people eager to make new friends?
"Join groups with similar interests to yours, such as hiking, baking, or games. Push your boundaries and be brave - you might find new people who have much in common with you."
The holiday season is a great time to focus on giving back to your community, and coincidentally, acts of generosity and kindness are known to reduce loneliness and help people feel happier. One study found that knowing a few of your neighbors and doing small acts of kindness for them — such as cheering them up, listening to them, mowing their lawn, providing advice about local business recommendations and job opportunities, and chatting over the fence — was statistically correlated with feeling less lonely and having a lower risk of depression.
Helping out elderly neighbors can be a particularly gratifying way to give back.
"Notice older lonely people in your neighborhood or community who might have no family at all, and offer to help them," says Eichler. "These can become mutually meaningful connections, and help you 'adopt' a grandparent."
Finally, use the Internet for its highest and best purpose: to connect people. Whether you're using Meetup to find in-person events, digital forums for having conversations about special interests, or programs like Circle for getting support from others in your situation, the opportunities to create new connections are practically endless.
"There are many interest groups that can be found digitally, where or any person can connect with others in the same life stage, going through the same challenges, or who would like to explore the same interests," Eichler states. "Meaningful connections can be formed easily in these circumstances. The Internet enables us to find and connect to people all over the world who fit this, and to whom we can become more easily attached, as we are able to find people with the exact interests that energize us."
If you're struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. Connect with our digital community of makers and creatives here at Brit+Co by following us on IG and signing up for our newsletter!
This post has been updated.
Marvel movies are known for their heroes and their hopeful outlook on the world. But in 2025, we're getting a brand new team: the Thunderbolts. This team is made up of antiheroes and former villains, and it's sure to be the wackiest and strangest, as well as one of the most memorable, superhero movies we've seen in recent years.
Marvel Studios/YouTube
Thunderbolts* comes out this May, and the cast just showed off some brand new footage at the D23 convention — and thanks to the new 'Celebrating 85 Years' spot, we have the first look too!
We get a look at Bucky Barnes, The Red Guardian, John Walker, and Ghost. Plus, Yelena Belova, of course. This heartbreaking detail about Yelena's new look connects Florence Pugh's Yelena to Scarlett Johansson's Natashaand I'm WEEPING.
Marvel Studios/Walt Disney Studios
And at D23 Brazil, we got a brand new look at my new favorite team. "There’s something in this film, in terms of superpowers and superheroes, that shows that our superpowers lie in how ‘broken’ we are," David Harbour said at the event. "As if our superpowers came from our relationships.”
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney
Consider Thunderbolts* to be The Avengers' edgy younger sibling. The movie follows Yelena Belova (who we know off the bat is a "depressed assassin" thanks to a Marvel Studios press release). She's joined by Bucky Barnes, The Red Guardian, and John Walker. Based on a leak, it looks like we'll see this group of misfits team up against Valentina Allegra de Fontaine after she sends them on a deadly mission.
Jesse Grant/Disney
Thunderbolts* hits theaters May 2, 2025.
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney
Thunderbolts* stars Florence Pugh, Geraldine Viswanathan, Lewis Pullman, Hannah John-Kamen, Wyatt Russell, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Sebastian Stan, and David Harbour.
This is a huge cast, and Viswanathan just revealed how crazy the first day of filming was. “My first day didn’t feel real," she tells Vanity Fair. "I felt this extra pressure of, ‘Know your lines, babe. You can’t really play around like you usually do.’"
Historically, sci-fi fans haven't been kind to actresses in their favorite projects (remember when Star Wars fans bullied Kelly Marie Tran off social media?). But Viswanathan is already thinking ahead. “If it’s overwhelming, I’ll log off. But I like discourse around pop culture,” she says. “[Thunderbolts*] felt a little bit edgier and fresher, more existential and dark.”
Jesse Grant/Disney
The rest of the cast also enjoyed working together. “Everyone is going to f—kin’ love me! It’s really, really, really fun to be with a group of actors that you have a good time with," Wyatt Russell says at Comic Con (via Variety), while David Harbour adds, “Florence Pugh [is] just electric to work with. There’s warmth and humor, but there’s also a lot of pathos.”
“This is why we can't stop laughing together, because we genuinely just had such a wonderful time with each other and we've loved working with one another," Pugh tells People. “I feel like this is something that we've never seen before from Marvel...it's a very open and honest and truthful idea. And I'm just really excited for people to watch it.”
Are you excited for this brand new chapter in the MCU? I really feel like Thunderbolts* will usher in a whole new generation of fans and I, for one, CANNOT WAIT! Let us know your thoughts on Facebook.
Lead images via Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney
This post has been updated.
