Many an in-law relationship has begun around the holiday season. If you're meeting your SO's parents for the first time, thinking about how to impress your in-laws can be intimidating. There's a lot at stake in these situations, and it's not just you who needs to be on your best behavior: Your partner's parents have to make a good impression on you, too, so they're likely to be equally nervous. If you're giving some thought to how to impress your in-laws this holiday season, here are some thoughtful and important tips for putting your best foot forward.
Bring A Gift
There's nothing more awkward than attending a holiday gathering without a gift, and then receiving one unexpectedly. Even if it wasn't the holidays, you'd probably want to bring a hostess gift if you'll be meeting your in-laws at their house. You don't need to get them anything over-the-top, and in fact, anything wildly sentimental or personal is going to seem insincere (see: tip no. 2). A nice bottle of wine, luxurious hand lotion or soap, or perhaps a nice scented candle will let them know you're a thoughtful and prepared kind of person, without looking like you're trying too hard.
Be Authentic
It can be nerve-racking to be meeting your in-laws for the first time, but it's important to relax and be yourself. This doesn't mean you should act like they're just any other acquaintance, or that you should let your guard down SO much, you end up acting inappropriately (there's no need to do tequila shots and suggest playing Cards Against Humanity, for example).
Rather, show genuine interest in what they're saying, answer their questions honestly and pleasantly, and don't be afraid to politely disagree on low-stakes topics like your favorite travel destination, musician, or after-work activity. If you disagree on anything more high-stakes (i.e. politics), it's best to save those conversations for sometime down the line when you know each other better and have already established a relationship.
Ask Questions
Part of being authentic is showing real interest in your SO's parents. Ask them questions about their lives, jobs, and memories. Show that you care about what they have to say by actively listening, nodding, and making eye contact during the conversation. When it comes to how to impress your in-laws, a little real, meaningful connection goes a long way.
Mind Your Manners
The Millennial and Gen Z generations are all about authenticity, but there's something to be said for good manners. Not only do things like saying "please," "thank you," and "your welcome" simply make you sound like a pleasant individual, they also show your in-laws that you're a classy and intelligent human being. You don't have to be over-the-top about it, but don't forget often-overlooked manners that used to be standard, like sending a thank-you note if they give you a gift or passing plates at dinner before taking your own serving.
Offer To Help
Another important aspect of manners is to always ask your host how you can help. If you'll be visiting your in-laws' home, be sure to ask ahead of time what you can bring. Once you're there, offering to help in the kitchen, assisting in doing the dishes, and helping to clear the table are easy and genuine ways to show that you're actively invested in the event and want to make things easier on your host.
Be Gracious
Finally, always show gratitude for your SO's parents' efforts. If they've come to visit you, be sure to thank them for making the trip, and let them know you really appreciate how they've gone out of their way to get to know you. Similarly, if you're attending an event at their home, tell them how much you appreciate the invite. It's no small thing to host, nor is it a small thing to travel to someone else's home — showing your gratitude will let your in-laws know that you really care about creating a relationship with them, and they'll be more likely to continue to extend their own welcome in the future.
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