8 Simple Ways To Keep The "Spark" In Your Marriage, According To A Relationship Therapist

1. Questions To Ask If You're In The 'Honeymoon' Stage

Whenever we finally move from flirting with our crushes to being in a relationship with them, it's typically followed by a period of euphoria. You and your boyfriend likely can't get enough of each other right now which is probably making your friends playfully roll their eyes. Since everything is brand new, you can still keep it light though.

O'Neill suggests asking "open-ending questions that prompt curiosity and connection:"

• What's one dream you've never let me in on?
• What's one little gesture that can make you feel valued?

"These couple of queries facilitate bonding while generating enthusiasm for the goals and interests of each other," he says.

2. Questions To Ask After Your First Big Fight

Even if you and your boyfriend are super tuned in to each other, a disagreement or argument is bound to happen. In case you're worried, your relationship isn't on thin ice because you're not seeing eye-to-eye on something. O'Neill says you can ask:

• How do you think we handled the argument?
• What could we do differently next time to make our future fights more productive?

His reasoning is that these questions "promote growth and empathy" so "disagreements are transformed into stronger communication opportunities."

Note: Disagreements should never turn physical. It's not okay for you and your boyfriend to become physically aggressive with each other. If you're concerned about domestic violence, dial the National Domestic Hotline at 1(800) 799-7233.

3. Questions To Ask Before Introducing Your Boyfriend To Your Parents

Introducing your boyfriend to your parents is a huge step that can be scary and exciting. I was terrified when my parents first met my fiancé because they couldn't stand my ex. But, the conversation between them flowed and everyone always looks for him to be at family events.

If you're ready for introductions to be made, O'Neill wants you to "encourage the normality of preplanned talks" by asking:

• What is something about me that you think my parents would really love to hear about?

By doing this, he says it'll "help alleviate anxiety and ensure both spouses feel comfortable and attuned before meeting the parents."

4. Questions To Ask If You Or Your Boyfriend Have An Illness

It's never easy to experience illnesses or health scares, but it can be terrifying if you don't know how to help your partner manage if something unexpected happens. O'Neill says to "nurture insights with queries such as:"

• What is one thing I could to assist you better when ill?
• Are there any aspects concerning your healthy that haven't been discussed which make you anxious?

"The conversations provide a safe space for airing concerns while building up mutual support through health difficulties," he adds.

5. Questions To Ask If You're Worried About Boyfriend's Spending Habits

Financial red flags are always a cause for concern when dating someone — especially when it seems like your boyfriend doesn't care about his spending habits may affect your household if you live together. O'Neill suggests asking:

• What are your financial goals?
• How do you see us working towards them together?
• How do you feel about budgeting as a team?

This will "make goal alignment stronger" because "effective communication about finances can prevent misunderstandings," he says. Also, this helps "lay the foundation for a shared vision of the future."

6. Questions To Ask To Deepen Vulnerability With Each Other

Being vulnerable isn't easy for everyone, let alone two people in a relationship. It took me years to feel comfortable expressing my sadness or fears to my fiancé because I was afraid he'd think I was 'weak.' However, this can cause more harm than good because it becomes difficult for our partners to know what's going on with us if we don't open up.

O'Neill says you can ask:

• What's one fear or concern you've hesitated to share with anyone before?
• How can I help you feel safe sharing with me?

7. Questions To Help Move The Relationship Forward

If you're still wondering "what are we doing" after asking some of the above questions, you focus on asking the following "future-oriented questions," according to O'Neill:

• Where do you see us in 5 years?
• What's something you envision us doing together as a couple in the future?

Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck have settled their divorce with no prenup.

In addition to confirming the settlement, TMZ reports that both Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck will take what they earned individually throughout the time they were married — and neither will pay spousal support. Ben will also keep his stake in Artists Equity, the production company he created in 2022 with Matt Damon.

Divorce rumors first started swirling in May of 2024, when a source told InTouch Weekly that there was trouble in paradise. "The writing is on the wall – it’s over," the source says before adding, "They’re headed for a divorce – and for once, [Ben’s] not to blame!" Even though Ben and Jennifer love each other, the source believes they're just too different.

In June, the couple listed their home for sale(for $65 million), which only added to the rumor mill. And by the time August rolled around, TMZ reported that Jennifer Lopez had filed for divorce from Ben Affleck with no prenup. "The fairy tale she was promised turned out to be a nightmare in the end," a source told People. "She's in a really good place and just wants to close the door on this crazy chapter."

Jennifer Lopez also says she doesn't regret "one second."

In an conversation for Interview Magazine, comedian Nikki Glaser (who you'll recognize from her recent stint as this year's Golden Globes host) asked if she regretted any of the difficulties she experienced, and Jennifer Lopez responded with, "not one second." The 55-year-old also notes that growth is "a lifelong process."

"I think that’s what I love about life, that there’s no arrival point. There’s only getting better and growing if you want to," Jennifer continues. "It’s either growing or dying, and I don’t want to do the dying part. And yeah, there’s times when I thought I figured it out, and then life goes, 'Let’s send you another thing and see if you fall for it. Let’s see if you really have learned that lesson.' And I hadn’t."

But Jennifer Lopez adds that she'll only use those lessons to grow even more in the future. "I understand that now in a much deeper way, which doesn’t mean that I won’t make mistakes in the future, but again, when your whole house blows up, you’re standing there in the rubble going, 'How do I not ever let that happen again?' And then you start examining it little by little saying, 'Okay, I did this, this was my part in it, this was what I should have seen early on, this is what I didn’t look at.' Those things are what really are the lessons."

What is color therapy?

Color therapy is a holistic, non-invasive modality used for the body. Historical figures such as Pythagoras (circa 2,500 years ago) applied “color light” therapeutically, while “color halls” were used as a means of treatment in ancient Egypt, China, and India. The modern medical pioneer patron of color therapy was Niels Finsen of Denmark in 1877. He discovered that visible light was how ultraviolet or red light energy could heal wounds, bacterial infections, or scars. Sounds familiar? In this present, infrared light therapy is used for pain relief, improved sleep, inflammation, facials, detoxes, and more. Knowing this, you can see why color and light restores our mind, body, and emotional needs.

There are many ways in which you can work best with color therapy. To implement physical changes, you can update your selection of colors in your clothing, nail colors, makeup palette, or home decor. For the mind and emotional system, you can work with colors through visualization practices like art, meditation, or a color therapy lamp.

How Can Color Therapy and Astrology Work Together?

Color therapy works by frequency or wavelengths of colors, which can have a physiological or psychological impact on our well-being. Using appropriate colors guided by your zodiac sign can rebalance or harmonize your body’s energy centers. How can color therapy integrate with your zodiac sign? It begins by knowing and working with your Sun sign, granting you more confidence and understanding regarding your direction. It extends our overall vitality and spreads endless radiance in our lives. It fuels our well-being and emits light wherever it touches in the birth chart. In principle, our Sun sign is our destination point, our identity. Now, the Sun Sign is where we can reach that higher level of understanding about our process and how we will experience fulfillment in this life. Incorporating color therapy guided by astrology can help you obtain confidence, and when you feel balanced, you make sound choices.

​How Colors Align With Zodiac Signs

Observing the astrological signs, they are all categorized within the elemental values. Starting with fire, the signs Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius are placed within this element. These signs hold precedence over the esoteric realm of spirit as they are meant to initiate, inspire, and teach. Fire tones are within the spectrum of golds, reds, and oranges.

The signs Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn reside within the earthy realm. They are supportive, detailed, and persevering in nature. The earth element enables humanity to take a firm stance involving patience or consistency. Deep greens, grays, and navy are colors that hold a grounded energy for these signs.

The signs Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius inhabit the air element. Those who hold this element strongly have the skill to circulate a constant flow of ideas, remain stimulated, and effectively communicate. Air energy guides humanity in the exchange of information, negotiation, and evolution. For clarity, the colors that best support these signs are yellows, pastel blues, or electric blues.

Ending with Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces, these signs embody the water element. Natives with a strong water element are receptive to others' feelings and can be intuitive. They can also conjure creativity, withstand intensity, and dive deep into the world of dreams. Colors such as purples, deep reds, or soft greens can help these signs invoke self-love and confidence.

Colors for Each Zodiac Sign

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Personality Traits: Aries is bold, energetic, and daring, often leading the way with confidence and courage. They are natural-born leaders who take on challenges fearlessly.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Colors like red and orange help Aries channel their energy and passion. These colors promote confidence, courage, and an enhanced sense of purpose to match their bold nature.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Personality Traits: Known for their patience, determination, and deep connection to nature, Taurus seeks stability and grounding. They are steady and reliable, with an appreciation for beauty and luxury.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Earthy tones like green and brown are ideal for Taurus. These colors promote relaxation, groundedness, and stability, aligning with Taurus' need for balance and connection to nature.

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Personality Traits: Gemini is versatile, adaptable, and intellectually curious. They thrive on communication and change, with a playful and creative side. Their dual nature makes them curious and full of ideas.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Bright yellow and light green stimulate mental agility, creativity, and versatility for Gemini. These colors foster communication and mental clarity, enhancing their natural curiosity and adaptability.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Personality Traits: Compassionate, intuitive, and deeply connected to family and emotions. Cancer nurtures others and seeks emotional fulfillment. They are protectors and caretakers.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Soft white, silver, and pale blue promote emotional healing, inner peace, and nurturing energy. These colors align with Cancer’s need for emotional well-being and tranquility.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Personality Traits: Leo exudes warmth, creativity, and pride. With their strong sense of self, they seek recognition and joy, and they inspire others with their vitality and passion.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Gold, yellow, and orange help Leo amplify their natural creativity and vitality, enhancing their self-expression and sense of pride. These warm colors increase confidence and fuel their dynamic energy.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Personality Traits: Virgos are known for their perfectionism, sharp intellect, and organizational skills. They are reliable, practical, and thrive on productivity and efficiency.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Soft green and blue are ideal for Virgo, promoting balance, healing, and clarity of mind. These colors assist in maintaining a calm and focused environment, supporting Virgo’s need for order and tranquility.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Personality Traits: Libra values harmony, beauty, and fairness. They seek balance in all aspects of life, often striving for peace and cooperation in their relationships and surroundings.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Pastel colors, particularly light blue and pink, promote peace, harmony, and emotional balance. These soft hues help Libra maintain their sense of equilibrium and enhance their diplomatic nature.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Personality Traits: Scorpio is intense, passionate, and deeply transformative. Known for their mystery and depth, they possess great inner strength and are drawn to uncover hidden truths.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Deep red, black, and maroon channel passion, power, and transformation for Scorpio. These intense colors align with their transformative nature and help them harness their strength.

Sagittarius (November 21 – December 21)

Personality Traits: Sagittarius is adventurous, optimistic, and philosophical. They love exploring new ideas, cultures, and places and often share wisdom and joy with those around them.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Purple and deep blue enhance spiritual growth, adventure, and wisdom. These colors stimulate the Sagittarian desire for exploration and wisdom while supporting their boundless optimism.

Capricorn (December 21 – January 19)

Personality Traits: Capricorn is disciplined, ambitious, and pragmatic. They take a methodical approach to life and are determined to achieve their goals through hard work and patience.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Earthy tones like gray, brown, and navy support Capricorn’s need for focus, discipline, and groundedness. These colors help them stay on course and maintain a practical mindset.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 19)

Personality Traits: Aquarius is eccentric, innovative, and idealistic. They value independence and individuality, often challenging the status quo and embracing forward-thinking ideas.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Electric blue and purple enhance mental clarity, innovation, and independence. These vibrant colors support Aquarius' need for originality and their intellectual pursuits.

Pisces (February 20 – March 21)

Personality Traits: Pisces is intuitive, empathetic, and imaginative. Known for their dreamy and artistic nature, they deeply connect to the spiritual and emotional realms.
Chromatherapy Suggestions: Soft green, seafoam blue, and lavender promote relaxation, creativity, and intuition for Pisces. These calming colors enhance their dreamlike state and encourage emotional balance and creativity.

​Color Therapy Visualization Technique

Now that you know which color vibrates with your zodiac sign, you can use this visualization technique to connect more with your Sun sign. Color therapy is a powerful tool for balancing energy, emotions, and well-being. By using the healing properties of colors, you can encourage emotional release, relaxation, and revitalization. Each color carries its frequency and vibration, which can help align and support different aspects of your life, from physical health to mental clarity.

This color therapy visualization technique will guide you through grounding, relaxation, and energetic renewal. Connecting with the colors that resonate with you will activate healing energy within your body and mind, clearing away any negative or stagnant energy. It’s a simple yet powerful practice that you can do daily to restore balance and promote a sense of calm and well-being.

Energetic Healing Visualization Technique

1. Position yourself comfortably or sit in a lotus position. Place your left hand over your heart area.
2. Take a deep breath through your nose, then exhale slowly through your mouth. With each breath, feel your body becoming more relaxed.
3. Focus on the soles of your feet and imagine an energetic pull grounding you, anchoring you in the present moment.
4. Take another deep breath, feeling a nurturing energy rising from the ground, reaching up to the soles of your feet. Allow this energy to gently move upward, relaxing and energizing your body—feet, calves, thighs, core, shoulders, arms, neck, face, and head.
5. Imagine a bright, glowing light in the sky above you. This light represents your Higher Self.
6. See the light spiraling down toward you, entering through the crown of your head and flowing through your body. As it moves, it changes into a vibrant color that resonates with you.
7. Take another deep breath and allow the colored light to fill your core center. Visualize it growing brighter and expanding with each breath, filling your entire body.
8. Imagine the light forming a dome or egg-like shape around your body, extending outward, cleansing your physical and energetic space.
9. Release any tensions, worries, or negative energy, visualizing them fading away into the ground. Trust the process of transformation.
10. Continue this visualization as long as you need. When you feel light and neutral, place your hands in a prayer position and silently offer thanks.
11. Visualize the light around you returning to its source, and when ready, gently open your eyes.

This practice can be done 1-2 times daily, ideally in the morning or before bedtime.

By integrating color therapy with your astrological sign, you can tap into a powerful tool for enhancing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. These simple yet effective practices allow you to align with the natural flow of your energy and support your unique traits, helping you to feel more balanced and connected to yourself. Whether you choose to surround yourself with the colors that resonate with your sign or engage in visualization techniques, color therapy offers a profound way to nurture your overall health and personal growth.

Remember, your journey toward healing and balance is personal, and using the right colors can be an uplifting part of that process. Take time to explore the colors that speak to you and notice the subtle shifts they create in your life.

Do you wish to learn more about Lumi's work with astrology and her holistic approach? Lumi Pelinku invites you to dive deeper into your journey through an extended reading that can provide tailored insights and inspiration. Click here to book your reading today!