5 Genuine Ways to Make Friends When You WFH

What makes landing a dream job so exciting?

The moment you go from thinking about your dream job to actually landing it feels euphoric. You feel a mixture of "I FINALLY did it" and "I can't wait to get started" because you've wanted it for so long. Carroll offers a better explanation though.

"A dream job is often one that marries our strengths, values, and interests — so it feels meaningful and purposeful as well as presenting opportunities to grow and develop in ways that feel exciting," she says.

This doesn't mean all dream jobs are created equal. Carroll says, "Everyone’s definition of a dream job is a little different, but the idea of showing up every day to do work that feels personally impactful, challenging and fulfilling is really motivating for many of us."

What are some harmful ways people approach daily tasks within their dream role?

I'm ambitious which isn't bad, but I've been known to be so laser-focused that I forget to take care of my basic needs. It's my way of trying to convince myself that I have to accomplish 2-3 things on my to-do list before giving something else my attention.

"It’s natural to want to succeed in a dream role, but there can be a number of pitfalls to watch out for as you try to prove yourself in the role and work at a demanding pace. It’s just as important to manage your energy and your workload as it is to manage your time," Carroll reminds.

Here's some of the harmful things she says you can do without realizing:

• Piling too much on your plate each day without a coherent plan to focus and prioritize on priorities
• Always saying yes to additional workload or meetings without assessing your other commitments
• Working too many hours, especially without breaks or adequate downtime to recharge, or feeling a need to be “on” 24-7
• Placing your work to-do list ahead of your self care, sleep or other needs
• Not communicating clearly about expectations, demands, feedback and needs with managers and co-workers

How can people recognize when they're overexerting themselves at work?

I'm beginning to think a lot of us are more introspective than we let on, but we may need help figuring out how to redirect ourselves. Carroll says, "Most clients I have worked with know on some level that they’re overdoing it. They feel the stress, and they may know that they need help in coping with it in healthier ways. But they often haven’t figured out how to unwind the situation that’s been created."

She suggests practicing self-reflection, priority and boundary setting, and often, self compassion and grace for yourself. I probably sound like a broken record, but I wholeheartedly believe we could be kinder to ourselves. Sometimes we place so much expectations on ourselves based on what society, family, or even our friends think.

Carroll says, "Burnout isn’t always a situation of overexertion, however. Sometimes it’s a mismatch between the role and our values, ethics or needs, or toxic workplace situations that can feed burnout as well. And in those cases, you might not recognize it at first."

Unfortunately, toxic workplaces are far more common than any of us like and can add to the stress we place on ourselves to perform our duties well. This can cause us to lose sight of what's truly important to us at our core. Carroll says, "It’s important to identify your core stressors so that you can address those. Burnout is not always about being busy."

What are signs someone is experience burnout?

Knowing that doesn't mean you're still able to understand if you're experiencing burnout or not though. "Burnout can look many ways — you might find yourself feeling stressed more often or less able to deal with your stressors," Carroll says. "There may be tiredness leading to exhaustion, brain fog, not thinking clearly, or a feeling of running on fumes."

That's always my first sign that I'm feeling burned out. I prioritize sleep because it helps me function the way I'm supposed to, but being sleepy is different from feeling tired on a soul level. There have been times where my alarm has gone off in the morning before work and it feels like I have to drag myself out of bed.

Another indicator that could be experiencing burnout is by losing enthusiasm at your dream job. "You might also be losing interest in the work, feeling like you can’t keep up or that the effort is futile. Often I hear 'I just don’t feel like myself. I’m not usually like this,'" Carroll says.

What happens when burnout completely overwhelms someone even if they love their job?

This is the part that makes working at your dream job so difficult IMO. I've talked to people who love what they do, but can't find the motivation to keep performing at the high level everyone expects them to.

"Being in full burnout is a physical and mental crisis point. You may feel depressed, lost, numb, exhausted. Your physical and mental health suffers, as well as your joy and often this has an impact on your wider relationships," Carroll indicates.

There's nothing worse than snapping at the people you love because you're stressed and don't know how to communicate that it's because of your dream job. It can take a lot to admit things are tough because you may not want to feel like you're complaining about something you've always wanted.

How can someone have a healthy relationship with work while prioritizing their mental health?

Burnout is real, it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. One of The Sims 4 characters I was playing developed the 'workaholic' trait and it got to the point where even she came home with the burnout moodlet.

She only had 24 hours to change it before it started affecting the quality of her work so I had to find ways to help her relax. The only thing that truly helped was taking PTO and allowing her to unwind at a spa, spend time with her loved ones, and indulge in hobbies that had nothing to do with work. Eventually, I helped her get rid of the workaholic trait because it was causing more harm than good.

Though that's a simulation game, I can imagine this happens to people. We have to decide we're willing to change how we approach our dream jobs so we're able to still function in our daily lives.

Carroll says, "Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries — with ourselves and with others — is a key point. Even when it’s your dream job, even when it’s demanding, your work is still one part of the larger picture of your life. Start with what is firmly in your control and make changes there first — there may be workplace changes to consider, but that comes second."

She says this can look like:

• Placing limits on working after hours
• Setting technology boundaries
• Being transparent about workload and priorities
• Learning to say no
• Reorganizing or blocking out parts of your schedule and potentially initiating new conversations with your leaders and colleagues where needed

What emotions might someone feel if they realize their dream job isn't what they expected?

It's disappointing when certain things we thought we wanted aren't what we need or even like. It doesn't matter whether we're learning how to get over a crush or feel like our dream job has become a nightmare.

"When our dream job turns out to be less a dream than expected, it’s natural to feel disappointed, sad, disillusioned or even grief. Depending on the situation, there may be resentment and anger as well if the job was misrepresented, or self doubt and questioning yourself and your decisions," Carroll says.

It doesn't always feel good, but letting yourself feel whatever emotion or thought comes up will help you get through the breakdown of having a dream job that's not what you expected it to be. Carroll says, "It’s important that you allow yourself time and space to understand what you’re feeling and to process that before deciding what to do next. There may be ways to job craft a more fulfilling experience, or you might decide to look at alternatives."

How can someone pivot towards something different if they want to leave their dream job?

Thinking about stepping away from your dream job in favor of telling burnout to take a hike? This is a judgement-free zone so just know you're able to do that if it makes sense to pivot in a different direction. However, Carroll does advise you to be mindful before making a potentially life-changing decision.

"The first step I always advise clients who want to step away from their role — dream job or not — is to assess the situation from a bigger picture before acting," she says.

• Take the time to understand what you’ve appreciated most about the role, what you didn’t and what you’re complete with/longing for at this stage of your career. Take stock of what’s most important to you and what is fueling your desire for change.
• Assess your strengths, skillsets, interests, and career values. A career coach can be a valuable ally to understand how you might you lean into these more as you decide where to pivot.
• Activate your future by exploring new career roles that build on the foundation you have, but stretch you in the ways you desire and meet your larger life goals. Then do your homework. Go out and explore potential roles through research, networking, job shadowing and interviewing. Testing out your ideas helps you move forward with clarity and confidence before investing in a job search or retraining.

The FIRO framework looks at three different types of interpersonal needs:

• Inclusion, our need to belong. How much do you need to be part of a group? How much do you want to be included by other people in their groups, and how much do you want to include others in your group?
• Control, our need for influence. How much to you need to have clear direction and structure in your relationships, both on a one-to-one level and in groups
• Affection, our need for intimacy. How important is it for you to have close personal relationships with other people at a one-to-one level?

The FIRO looks at two different aspects for each of these areas. First, how much of that need is expressed to others, how much of that behavior we initiate to others. For Inclusion, for example, how much do we try to include other people in our activities – your FIRO Expressed Inclusion score. It also looks at how much we want from others.

• For Inclusion: How much do we need other people to include us in their group and involve us in their activities? Wanted Inclusion.
• For Control: The extent to which we try to influence and control others, and how much we want to be in an environment that provides us with structure and clarity. Expressed Control and Wanted Control.
• For Affection: How much we try to be warm and friendly to others, and how much we want others to be warm and friendly to us. Expressed and Wanted Affection.

That gives scores; Expressed and Wanted Inclusion,Expressed and Wanted Control,Expressed and Wanted Affection. And we can have a high, medium, or low score for each of these six areas.

So how can this explain why someone might be misunderstood? Well, this can happen when someone’s expressed and wanted scores are different. Let’s look at an example. Joe has high Expressed Inclusion, but low Wanted Inclusion. He wants to involve lots of people in his activities but doesn’t want them to include him in their activities. He’s likely seen by others as outgoing and sociable, but he also has a real need for privacy.

Because people see his high Expressed Inclusion, his friends are likely to invite or include him more than he wants to be, and he’ll refuse some of those invitations – which might leave them feeling hurt or otherwise harm the friendship. But knowing his FIRO profile will give Joe the language to describe his behavior and keep the friendship alive.

Of course, our interpersonal needs involve other people too. Let’s look at Joe alongside his friend Joan. Joe has high Expressed Inclusion and low Wanted Inclusion. Joan has low Expressed Inclusion and high Wanted Inclusion. This might make for a good relationship. Joe wants to include Joan (high Expressed Inclusion), and she wants to be included (high Wanted Inclusion). Joan doesn’t much want to include other people in her activities (low Expressed Inclusion), and that’s fine with Joe, who doesn’t much want to be included (low Wanted Inclusion).

However, things might be a little different on Affection. Joe has high Expressed Affection and high Wanted Affection. Joan is low on both. Joe wants to be warm and friendly with Joan, to get a connection, but Joan, with low Wanted Affection, doesn’t want that. And Joe is looking for warm and friendly behavior from Joan, which she probably doesn’t want to express. This may be an area where understanding their FIRO results helps them to understand why their relationship may sometimes be strained, and gives them the knowledge they need to make that relationship work.

So take a moment to think about your relationships, your friendships. Are there places where your best friend doesn’t seem to understand you, or you them? Are there times when they don’t quite seem to give you what you need, or vice versa? Maybe understanding your interpersonal needs, or knowing your FIRO profile, could help.

Pirate

Ahoy, matey! Just grab a red scarf, eyepatch, striped shirt and a fishtail side braid for this classic and super easy costume.

Flamingo

This makeup is on point. Here's how to DIY this feathery look.

Unicorn

Fulfill your magical dreams with this DIY unicorn costume.

Cleopatra

Stand out with a costume that's part-Ancient Egyptian, part-badass babe. With some eyeliner and well-chosen accessories, you'll be able to craft up a Queen-of-Egypt-inspired Halloween costume that's sure to blow your Zoom party guests away.

Rosie the Riveter

White button down and red polka dot headscarf, easy peasy. For the hair, pin up half of your hair and twist it up into a bun. Then take the rest of your hair and create another bun a little lower on your head. Top the look off with the scarf, and you'll be riveting in no time. :)

Princess Leia

Best buns on the planet! Create this iconic hairdo with this easy hair hack.

Elsa

Does Frozen still melt your heart? Be everyone's favorite snow queen with this DIY costume.

Holly Golightly

Top off your top knot with a tiara, then add a LBD, pearls, coffee and sunnies.

Angry Bird

We've seen this costume before, but this look is too dang cute to pass up. Especially when all you need is a yellow wig and some craft supplies. Draw out the face onto felt and cut it out, then glue the head piece to a headband. Everything else can be taped to the wig.

Creepy Clown

Whether you're going for a clown or a mime vibe, this kinda creepy, kinda cute look will achieve all of your Halloween dreams.

Day of the Dead

Dress up as a Dia de los Muertos sugar skull with this easy DIY tutorial.

Lady Gaga

It's been quite some time since Gaga donned her signature bow, but we'll never get enough of it. Head to our Hair Bow tutorial here for the full how-to.

Pumpkin

Okay, this may be really, really basic, but it is a Halloween staple. Plus, it's the one time of year you can wear all orange, all the time. Grab an orange wigand go!

Queen of Hearts

Ace this Queen of Hearts costume with ared wig or red spray dye!

Frenchie From Grease

Here's an excuse to break out that cute pink wig in your closet. Add a Pink Ladies jacket and bubble gum and you're ready for beauty school!

Strawberry Shortcake

You can go with the full Strawberry Shortcake costume or just order a pink wig and bonnet— then add freckles and a pink top and you're Zoom ready!

Pop Art

If you are looking to really up your costume game and stand out on Zoom, go for this pop art makeup look. Pop on some comic leggings (totally WFH-friendly!) and yellow wig too.

Vampire

Don a black lip and eye makeup, then use that same eye makeup or black face paint to create a faux widow's peak. Spooky!

Jem

We are as obsessed with our '80s cartoon characters as we are with wig costumes. For bright pink tresses, Jem is an absolute must!

Cruella de Vil

This fierce villain oozes style, even if she is totally evil. Use spray hair dye on half of your head, then top off the look with red gloves, a faux fur coat, cigarette holder and a little Dalmatian. Oh, and that evil cackle is essential.

Kitty

Every girl's backup costume is also the perfect Zoom costume. We made our ears by attaching black foam ears to a headband, but you can easily find a readymade option at just about any store this time of year. Get the full Black Cat makeup tutorial right here.

Witch

Don a black witch hat and follow this makeup tutorial for this spooky cool green witch.

Black Swan

The hair hack here is that slick top knot and the crowning tiara, though the key to the whole scene is obviously those crazy eyes. Here's a great tutorial right herefor gals who want to go all out.

Minion

Learn how to get the look of the cutest minion costume ever!

Katy Perry circa 2014

Or go for any of Katy Perry's Dark Horse video costumes with these Brit + Co DIYs.

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Mad Hatter

This Mad Hatter costume is pretty easy to replicate. Grab a brown jacket from your closet, orange wig and top hat. The thread holster is made by stringing thread spools onto yarn and draping it over the shoulder. The makeup is an understated version inspired by the original, but really easy to recreate. And yes, those are fake eyelashes as eyebrows!

Mime

You can just stay on mute!

Pippy Longstocking

Recreate Pippy's completely insane pig tails with this easy DIY trick.

Barbie

Your co-workers will immediately get the idea once you show up with your pink visor, watercolor swimsuit and bike shorts outfit! They may even get a little jealous!

Poison Ivy

"That girl is poison" best describes former botanist turned green seductress Poison Ivy. See how you can DIY this costume here!

Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy

Maybe you prefer to be a bada**, take no prisoners green goddess like Gamora from the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise. For fun, you can try your hand at method acting by acting like her during your virtual Halloween party. Just try to keep the sarcasm on the lighter side.

Minions

To make things more fun, you and a few co-workers can dress up as Minions! It's a DIY-costume that's inexpensive and funny.

The Sanderson Sisters

Hocus Pocus is basically life for the Brit + Co team so it only makes sense to show up to your virtual Halloween party wearing one of the above costumes!