How To Move On From An Ex, And What To Do When They Move On First

How To Move On From An Ex and what to do if an ex moves on first

Getting over an imaginationship might be difficult, but healing from a breakup is way harder than any of our favorite teen dramas prepared us for. Seeing someone you wanted to share a future with do so with someone else feels like a whole new kind of heartbreak. That's why I talked to Shan Boodram, Bumble's Sex and Relationships Expert, about how to move on from an ex — especially when that ex moves on first.

"The uncomfortable truth is that seeing your ex move on first can be a massive shot to the ego," Boodram says. "Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself grace to grieve the potential for the two of you getting back together in the near future, but all the while continue to remind yourself that obsessing over your past can stand in your way of a healthy future."

While it is natural to feel attached to someone after a breakup, you don't want to close yourself off from other people in your life, or prevent yourself from living in the present. However, that doesn't mean you should expect to feel totally normal, either. "You’re dealing with the loss of someone who was a big part of your life — and whether that’s a significant other or another loved one — it takes time, and that time is different for everyone," Boodram continues.

How To Move On From An Ex Who Has Moved On

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Not only can the end of a relationship impact how you move forward, but the way it ended also affects the healing process: "If it was amicable vs. if you were blindsided can impact how easy it is to put a relationship behind you. Every break-up is different, there’s no set rule for the amount of time you’ll mourn."

It's vital to taking care of yourself during hard, emotional times, but it's equally important to avoid behaviors that might keep you from truly healing. "Is it natural to have negative thoughts and/or strong opinions about the new person that your old lover has moved on with? Absolutely," Boodram says. "However, is there any circumstance in which voicing these thoughts to anyone (other than your best friend who's your designated vent buddy) has any positive outcome? Absolutely not."

Talking about the situation with a close friend can help you process your pain and even your anger, but I know how easy it is for that to take over your entire life. That's not to say you have to be positive at all times, but there is something to be said for taking control of your thoughts.

"If you want to move on and in a positive manner, keep the things you say, and do, positive," she says. "Heartbreak can be extended based on how you react to it. If you indulge in negativity, it may take longer to truly get over it."

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Healing might feel like a waiting period, but you don't have to look at it as a passive process. There are some aspects you can take control over — like not checking your ex's social media or looking for information about them (it "almost definitely" makes it harder to move forward, Boodram says). "Stay in a productive mindset by focusing on yourself, leaning on your social network for support, and preventing yourself from obsessing over your ex," Boodram recommends. "Take the time to reflect on the past, while staying positive about the future. Understand what you truly want and are looking for, and open yourself when you feel ready to take the next step."

That might look like spending more time with friends and family, but it can also look like taking some serious "me time" like therapy, journaling, or implementing changes in your lifestyle.

Whatever your healing looks like, remember that any relationship that didn't work out wasn't meant for you. "The best thing to do (though easier said than done!) is to stop pouring your energy into something that’s not giving you satisfaction or stability, which will result in you opening yourself up to new opportunities," Boodram says. "Once you do this, you’ll be able to build a new partnership that is likely an even better fit than what you had before."

Short Term Tips For Healing From A Breakup

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In addition to not checking an ex's social media (or just taking a disconnecting from social media as a whole) in the short term, Boodram says you should remember to give yourself grace and take things slow. "Be honest with yourself and think about if it is the familiarity that you miss or the value of that specific person?" she says. "Take a look at what happened in your relationship as an important step to moving forward and understanding what you want or need out of future relationships."

Here are some more short-term healing tips:

  • Stick to a routine: "Most breakups will disrupt your routine and that’s fine!" Boodram says. Being in a relationship with someone is a huge part of your life, so it's totally normal if your days look different after you've parted ways. "But, if thinking about your ex has become disruptive to your day-to-day routine, making a schedule you can follow helps get your thoughts back on track."
  • Find a new things that offer joy or rest: "Think about trying a new workout class, getting coffee with a friend or even writing down the small things you're grateful for. Find a new normal that puts you first."
  • Keep track of your progress: "Set small goals for yourself at first and create a checklist, checking off things as simple as ‘eating healthy’ or ‘calling a friend’ off the list," Boodram says. "You want to make sure that your goals are realistic, that they’re achievable, so that you’re not putting huge things in front of yourself that you can’t accomplish."

Long Term Tips For Healing From A Breakup

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Boodram says to remember that closure and healing isn't something you'll do completely on your own. "You often need perspectives outside of ourselves to untangle yourself from someone else," she says. "I’m a huge proponent of personal therapy and counseling." In addition to talking about what didn't work out (whether it be from friends or a professional), make sure you know what you want your life (and future relationships) to look like.

"Make sure you continue to evaluate what you need out of a partner, what makes you happy, and your emotional triggers will help you to truly understand what you want and need in a future partner when you’re ready to jump back in," Boodram says. Here are some other long-term tips she recommends.

  • Keep perspective: "After you’ve processed the experience you’ve had, get excited for what’s to come in your life. You’ll open yourself up for new opportunities."
  • Find a hobby that brings you joy: "Make it a part of your regular weekly or monthly routine," she says. "Find the small joys and continue them as you pave your future."
  • Don't be afraid of getting back out there: "Once you feel ready to start putting yourself back out there, take advantage of the technology at your disposal," Boodram says. "Apps like Bumble enable you to highlight unique interests to expedite the process of meeting people who you will likely form kind, lasting connections with."

Do you have any advice for how to move on from an ex? Let us know in the comments and check out our email newsletter for more expert relationship advice.

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There are few celebrity breakups as infamous as those of the 2000s — just looks at Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears, and Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck! But when Ben and Jen (or Bennifer, as fans like to call them) got back together in 2021, it felt like a literal movie. In Jennifer Lopez' new documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told, the couple revealed why they actually broke up in the first place: "the massive amount of scrutiny around our private life." Here's everything you need to know about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, in the 2000s and now.

Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck's Relationship Timeline

Image via Columbia Pictures

Winter 2002 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Meet On The Set Of Gigli

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck first met while filming their 2003 movie Gigli. "The first time meeting him on that film was at the read-through," Jennifer tells Variety. "I remember kind of just walking in and I think he was outside, smoking a cigarette...I don't remember a whole bunch more about it, but I remember being on the set with him every day and loving it."

Image via Vinnie Zuffante/Getty Images

November 2002 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Announce Their Engagement

During an interview with Diane Sawyer at the end of 2002, Jennifer Lopez showed off the engagement ring from Ben Affleck. The platinum band + pink diamond combo is absolutely beautiful, just like the proposal itself. "[It was] traditional, but also in a very spectacular way, as of course Ben would do it," Jennifer says, via ABC News.

"He is brilliantly smart, loving, charming, affectionate," she continues. "And I just admire him in every way. I respect him. I feel like he teaches me things."

Image via Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Early 2003 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Experience The Tabloids Firsthand

Before the age of iPhones and TikTok, celebs constantly dealt with the tabloids — even more than they do now. And as one of the hottest couples in the world, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez constantly faced paparazzi and tabloids. “We didn’t try to have a public relationship,” Jennifer Lopez tells PEOPLE in 2016. “We just happened to be together at the birth of the tabloids, and it was like ‘Oh my God.’ It was just a lot of pressure.”

"People were so f*cking mean about her," Ben Affleck says on The Hollywood Reporter's Awards Chatter podcastin 2021. "Sexist, racist. Ugly, vicious sh*t was written about her in ways that if you wrote it now you would literally be fired for saying those things you said...Now it's like, she's lionized and respected for the work she did, where she came from, what she accomplished — as well she f*cking should be!"

Image via Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

September 10, 2003 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Call Off Their Wedding

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were supposed to be married on September 14, 2003, but four days before their wedding, they postponed the ceremony. "Due to the excessive media attention surrounding our wedding, we have decided to postpone the date," the couple says in their official statement, via PEOPLE. "When we found ourselves seriously contemplating hiring three separate 'decoy brides' at three different locations, we realized that something was awry."

"It was so painful after we broke up," Jennifer tells Apple Music's Zane Lowe in 2024. "Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die. It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn't get it right. But now, 20 years later, it does have a happy ending. It has the most would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending."

Image via Barbara Nitke/Courtesy of STXfilms

February 18, 2020 — Ben Affleck Supports Jennifer Lopez In Hustlers

At the beginning of 2020, in an interview with The New York Times, Ben Affleck voiced his support for Jennifer Lopez. "She should have been nominated [for Hustlers]," he says. "She's the real thing. I keep in touch periodically with her and have a lot of respect for her. How awesome is it that she had her biggest hit movie at 50? That's f*cking baller."

Image via Amy Sussman/Getty Images

May 10, 2021 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Take A Trip Together

After Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez broke up in the spring of 2021, J.Lo was seen hanging out with Ben Affleck around Los Angeles. "[Jennifer] spent several days with Ben out of town," a source tells PEOPLE. "They have a strong connection. It's all been quick and intense, but Jennifer is happy."

Image via Amy Sussman/Getty Images

July 24, 2021 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Make Their Relationship Instagram Official

Hidden at the end of an Instagram carousel, Jennifer Lopez posted a photo of her kissing Ben Affleck. "5 2 … what it do …" the caption reads.

Image via Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images

September 10, 2021 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Walk The Red Carpet

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck attended the premiere of his film The Last Duel at the 2021 Venice Film Festival. They both looked amazing in old school glam!

Image via Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

April 8, 2022 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Announce Their Second Engagement

PEOPLE confirmed that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were engaged again in the spring of 2022. Jennifer also revealed the news via email and on social media. "So I have a really exciting and special story to share," she said on Twitter.

Image via Kevin Winter/Getty Images

July 16, 2022 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Finally Get Married!

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck finally tied the knot in July of 2022. Jennifer shared the details about the "best night ever" via On The JLo newsletter (via PEOPLE) the next day. The couple later had a larger ceremony in Georgia.

"It's a beautiful outcome that this has happened in this way at this time in our lives where we can really appreciate and celebrate each other and respect each other," she says. "We always did, but we have even more of an appreciation because we know that life can take you in different directions."

"[Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck] were attentive only to each other, didn't have eyes for anything else," a PEOPLE source said after spotting the couple on their honeymoon in Lake Como, Italy.

Image via Jennifer Lopez/Instagram

February 14, 2023 — Jennifer Lopez Reveals Her Tattoo With Ben Affleck

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck showed off their coordinating tattoos on J.Lo's Instagram. The tattoos (hers of an arrow through an infinity sign on her ribcage and his of two arrows tied to one another) are super cute together!

"Commitment," Jennifer says in her Instagram post. "Happy Valentine’s Day my love."

Image via Monica Schipper/Getty Images

May 3, 2023 — Jennifer Lopez Calls Ben Affleck A "Wonderful Father"

When she was on the Today Show (via Twitter) at the beginning of May 2023, Jennifer Lopez had high praise for Ben Affleck's relationship with all their kids. Jennifer has twins, Max and Emme, with Marc Anthony, while Ben Affleck shares three kids, Samuel, Seraphina, and Violet, with Jennifer Garner.

"He's a wonderful, wonderful father," J.Lo says in the interview. "And a father figure to [Max and Emme] as well, because he has his own three beautiful children, and then there's us...They love him. And they appreciate him, and so do I."

Image via Jennifer Lopez/Instagram

August 21, 2023 — Jennifer Lopez Celebrates Her One Year Anniversary With Ben Affleck

In honor of their first wedding anniversary, Jennifer Lopez shared some photos, and some lyrics from "Dear Ben, Pt II", to Instagram. "One year ago today," she says in the caption. "Dear Ben, Sitting here alone / Looking at my ring ring / Feeling overwhelmed / It makes me wanna sing sing / How did we end up here / Without a rewind / Oh my / This is my life...Jennifer"

Image via Dunkin'

February 11, 2024 — Ben Affleck And Jennifer Lopez Star In A Super Bowl Commercial

Following Ben Affleck's iconic, viral photos with his Dunkin' coffee, the couple starred in Dunkin' Donuts' 2024 Super Bowl ad — in addition to Matt Damon, Jack Harlow, and Tom Brady. The commercial features Ben and his friends coming into the studio while Jennifer records her newest album This Is Me Now... — a move that is not well received.

Image via Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for 20th Century Studios

February 26, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Reveal Why They Originally Split Up

"Ben and I, we broke up three days before our wedding," J.Lo recalled in her new documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told. "We had a big wedding planned—14 ushers and bridesmaids—and three days before, we just crumbled under the pressure."

"For all those years, it was really hard because I didn't just feel like I lost the love of my life, I felt like I lost the best friend that I ever had," Jennifer continues. "I've made it through. I've made something good of my life. I'm proud of that."

Image via Momodu Mansaray/Getty Images

May 15, 2024 — Rumors Swirl About Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's Alleged Divorce

Though Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have reconnected, there have rumors that their marriage may be in trouble. A source alerted InTouch Weekly that there have been obvious signs that something is wrong for a while.

"The writing is on the wall – it’s over," the source claims before saying, "They’re headed for a divorce – and for once, [Ben’s] not to blame!" The source believes the two have a lot of love for each other, but that they're jus too different to be together.

TMZ has also reported that Ben seems like he hasn't been living at home — yikes! He was photographed leaving going to and coming from a L.A. home without Jennifer. It's also being reported that he's been allegedly spending the night there.

But, TMZ also pointed out that the pair are still wearing their wedding rings so it's hard to say if there's any merit to the breakup rumors. Until Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck actually give a statement, I'm going to cross my fingers and hope for the best! And we're not the only ones — 13 Going on 30's Jennifer Garner (who was married to Ben Affleck from 2005-2015) “is encouraging Ben to work on his marriage to Jen,” according to an Us Weeklysource. “She fully supports their relationship and wants nothing more than for him to be happy.”

Also, Jennifer Lopez wants us to really mind our business. People reported than an actress was not feeling a pushy reporter's question about her marriage and didn't have a problem letting them know. She was promoting Atlas with her co-stars when said reporter asked, "Is your divorce with Ben Affleck real? These rumors?"

Though her co-star Simu Liu expressed his disdain for the questions first, Jennifer quickly said," You know better than that." This lets us know that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are well aware that people are talking about their marriage.

Image via Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for 20th Century Studios

Still, this hasn't stopped insiders from talking about what's going on behind closed doors. One even reached out to People to say, "They’re still living separately," and "She’s back in L.A. for tour rehearsals. She seems okay. She’s very focused on work." The outlet even reported that the couple are in fact living apart and have been seen on several occasions without each other.

While I know some people could care less, I remember when Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck first started dating so to see them struggling again feels a little painful. I'm trying to keep hope alive, but they ultimately know what's going on in their relationship. If they do choose to separate, that's a choice we'll all have to respect.

Image via Will Heath/NBC

May 31, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Cancels Her "This Is Me" Tour

At the end of May, Jennifer Lopez revealed she was cancelling her summer tour to spend time with family. Her newsletter (via Variety) reveals that “Jennifer is taking time off to be with her children, family and close friends." (Refunds will be distributed through Ticketmaster automatically; third party purchase sites need to be contacted).

“I am completely heartsick and devastated about letting you down," Jennifer continues in the newsletter. “Please know that I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t feel that it was absolutely necessary. I promise I will make it up to you and we will all be together again. I love you all so much. Until next time…”

Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

June 21, 2024 — Ben Affleck Discusses Family Life With Jennifer Lopez

In a newly released interview with Kevin Hart, Ben Affleck showed a rare vulnerability that we don't often see. The two chatted about several things during the Season 4 premiere of Hart to Heart, but it was Ben's admission that he has "resting hard face" (via Entertainment Tonight) that caught our attention.

Though there have been theories about why Ben often looks like he'd rather be somewhere else than dealing with paparazzi, he made it clear why he's not always smiling when the cameras are on him. "I also don't like a lot of attention...people see me [and] they're like, ‘Well, this dude always mad…’ Because somebody has their camera and sticking to my face.”

Ben even mentioned a time when he, Jennifer, and their kids were trying to make it to a play while walking through Times Square. Though he knows fans are going to be excited to see them, it's obvious he's not thrilled when their kids are subject to that kind of pandemonium.

"We get out with her, all the kids, through Times Square, and the s--- was like f---in’ bananas...it feels like hundreds of people and now screaming," Ben explained (via People).

Andrew Toth/Getty Images for Netflix

July 20, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Throws A Bridgerton-Themed Birthday Party

Jennifer Lopez celebrated an upcoming birthday milestone this weekend by hosting a party the Ton would've loved to attend. She spared no expense as it's reported she had "horse-drawn carriages" on-site (via Glamour).

She also posted a few selfies on Instagram to share her excitement about the special day. "Today is gonna be a great day 🤍🙏🏼 Happy Saturday everybody ☀️," she wrote as her caption.

Though other guests — including Jennifer's mom — attended the Bridgerton-themed soirée, a source made special note of Ben Affleck's absence (via People).

They've yet to confirm the status of their relationship, but it seems they're giving each other space.

Matt Winkelmeyer / Staff

August 20, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Files For Divorce With No Prenup

After months of rumored separation between the two, it seems that Jennifer Lopez has finally filed for divorce from her husband, Ben Affleck, after 2 years of marriage. Many speculated their separation this year, but since Lopez was spotted multiple times with Affleck’s kids, it seemingly put those rumors to rest. But after this filing citing their separation date as April 26, 2024, it seems like any outing was due to those close relationship over the years, and because of Lopez and Affleck’s kids being friends.

TMZ reported about Lopez’s filing, stating that there is “indeed no prenuptial agreement.” This means that they split everything 50/50 from their 2 years of marriage. While TMZ says that the two are not on speaking terms, hopefully the two can seek some peace in this situation in the future!

August 31, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Is Moving On

She may be heartbroken, but Jennifer Lopez knows the key to getting over an ex is moving on. She cryptically acknowledged her eventful summer with the largest picture carousel I've seen on Instagram in years and looked great in most of her candid shots.

She kept her caption lighthearted by writing, "Oh, it was a summer" and was essentially met with rounds of applause from fans. One person even called her, "AN UNBOTHERED Queen!"

Even if that only scratches the surface of her emotions, it's clear Jennifer believes "Everything is unfolding in divine order" per the second picture in her carousel.

September 16, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Seen Together After Time Apart

We were sure that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were in the 'no contact' zone, but it appears they briefly changed their mind long enough for their kids to spend time together. A source said, "They are still moving forward with the divorce" but went out just "so the kids could hang out," (via People).

They almost had us fooled as they seen enjoying a nice meal at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills, but it really seems like it's over for these two. As long as things are amicable between them, that's all that matters.

Hector Vivas/Getty Images

October 9, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Isn't Worried About Falling In Love Again

The thing about being a hopeless romantic is you often keep hope alive even when you probably shouldn't give your ex a second chance. However, it seems like Jennifer Lopez has learned her lesson after filing for divorce from Ben Affleck. She recently sat down and chatted with her friend Nikki Glaser to talk about how life seemed to course correct for her, plus she detailed how she feels about dating.

"I understand that now in a much deeper way, which doesn’t mean that I won’t make mistakes in the future, but again, when your whole house blows up, you’re standing there in the rubble going, 'How do I not ever let that happen again,'" she said (via Interview Magazine). She went on to say she's "not looking for anybody" after experiencing a very public second breakup from Ben Affleck.

When Nikki Glaser asked her if she regretted the hardship she just went through, Jennifer Lopez said this: "Not one second." It was quite painful for the entertainer, but she feels it was another lesson she was finally able to learn.

What's your favorite Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck moment? Check out The Latest On Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce's Relationship and The Latest News On Blake Lively And Ryan Reynold's Kids for more of your favorite celebrity couples!

This post has been updated.

We can't wait to see Florence Pugh's performance tug at our heartstrings in We Live In Time — especially given all the talk about how spicy her chemistry is with Andrew Garfield. However, all this talk about chemistry has us wondering...who IS Florence dating these days, if not Andrew?

As of late, it seems like Florence is linked to fellow actor, Finn Cole. Here's everything we know so far about the alleged new couple!

Who has Florence Pugh dated before?

Jeff Spicer/Getty Images

Prior to now, Florence dated Zach Braff and Charlie Gooch before those relationships ultimately ended. She recently spoke to British Vogue about how much "bullying" impacted her relationship with Zach, acknowledging that during the three years they were together were "quite private" for a while. She said, "I think any relationship in this limelight is going to be stressed.”

Now all that matters is the rumored bond she's building with Finn.

A Quick Timeline Of Florence Pugh And Finn Cole's Relationship

Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images

2017 — Fans Take Notice Of Florence And Finn's Friendship

Florence and Pugh have known each other for a while, but attentive fans noticed the actress began frequently supporting whatever Finn shared on Instagram beginning in 2017. Any post — from personal updates to his time on Peaky Blinders — received a like from Florence (via Cosmopolitan).

September 3, 2024 — Florence And Finn Attend The Premiere Of The Perfect Couple In London

The two showed up to the East London premiere of The Perfect Couple, and were even seen at the party following the event (via The Sun). They apparently were comfortable in each other's as they seemed to be "having a great time." At the same time, a source noticed the pair seemed to be intentional about not being "pictured or seen" together. Prior to this, Florence and Finn were seen having a good time at the Glastonbury Festival (via Daily Mail).

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

September 18, 2024 — Florence Cheekily Admits She's Seeing Someone New

Finn Cole's kept quiet about anything pertaining his relationship status, but Florence has offered a unique insight into hers without naming who she's dating. "We are figuring what we actually are. And I think for the first time, I’m not allowing myself to go on a roller-coaster," she said (via British Vogue).

Admitting she's prone to falling head over heels in love, the actress further explained her reasoning for taking things slow. "I’m allowing myself to take time to let something evolve and let it be completely real to its core, as opposed to racing into that," she said.

What else has Florence Pugh starred in?

Marleen Moise/Getty Images

Florence Pugh has starred in a few groundbreaking films that have aided in her burgeoning acting career. She stunned audiences with her roles as Dani in Midsommar, Amy March in Little Women, Yelena Belova in Black Widow, Alice in Don't Worry Darling, Jean Tatlock Oppenheimer, and as Princess Irulan in Dune 2.

Where else have we seen Finn Cole?

Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images

In addition to starring in Peaky Blinders as Michael Grey, Finn Cole is also known for Animal Kingdom as Joshua 'J' Cody, Slaughterhouse Rulez as Don Wallace, and F9: The Fast Saga as Young Jakob.

Clearly Florence Pugh isn't ready to spill the beans about her rumored new boyfriend Finn Cole just yet, and that's okay! We'll be here waiting for the joyous day she decides to let everyone in that part of her world again.

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We live in a "post your relationship so we know it's real" landscape, and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't made me wonder if there's a larger conversation to be had about it. Some people don't feel the need to post their romantic partner while others share their relationships in a way that rivals the best celebrity couples.

Everyone's different, but it's not not unheard of to question your partner's devotion if they're not posting you on Instagram. You may feel justified in your anger because "so and so" are always in cute pictures and videos together on social media — but are your feelings valid? The best person to answer this is licensed therapist Suzette Bray, LMFT. She has over 25 years of specializing in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and she's seen this topic come up plenty of times during sessions with clients, so grab a pen and paper to take notes!

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

Afif Ramdhasuma

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

Katrin Bolovtsova

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

RDNE Stock project

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

Budgeron Bach

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Fábio Carvalho

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

Timur Weber

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

Vlada Karpovich

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

If you feel that your partner doesn't post you enough on social media, talk to them before launching into an angsty rant because your assumptions might not always be right. I wish someone would've shared this advice 10 years ago, but all that matters is knowing you don't have to let being upset about your partner's lack of relationship posts be the reason your day is ruined.

The problem arises when your partner doesn't seem receptive to talking about your concerns because dismissive or evasive attitudes are a no-no!

We have more relationship advice if you're looking for more romantic tips and tricks!

We all know Taylor Swift is the QUEEN of squads, but it's clear that she also loves a good one-on-one BFF date. Whether she's attending Emma Stone's movie premiere or joining Selena Gomez for dinner, Taylor loves spending time with her friends just as much as she loves getting cozy with Travis Kelce. And at a recent Kansas City Chiefs game, the Reputation singer was seen posing with Brittany Holmes — and Brittany's baby bump! We love our WAGs literally so much, so here are all their best BFF moments.

Taylor Swift & Brittany Mahomes Full Friendship Timeline

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

September 30, 2023 — Brittany Mahomes and Taylor Swift Have Dinner

After the first Kansas City Chiefs game Taylor showed up to support her beau, Taylor and Brittany grabbed dinner with the rest of their friends in New York City. Sophie Turner and Blake Lively were also in attendance, and this is one dinner party I'd love to join.

"They dined in a private room. Everyone had a blast,” a source told PEOPLE. “They all got along and were just laughing all night over drinks and delicious food."

October 1, 2023 — Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes Watch A Chiefs Game Together

The celeb friend group continues as Brittany Mahomes, Taylor Swift, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, and Hugh Jackman watch the Chiefs V. New York Jets. I've never been so interested in football.

David Eulitt/Getty Images

October 13, 2023 — Brittany Mahomes Is "Thrilled" To Join Taylor's Friend Group

After Taylor and Brittany watched another game together on the 12th, a source told US Weekly just how much Brittany has enjoyed spending time with the popstar.

“Brittany is thrilled to be building a genuine friendship with Taylor. They’ve hung out a couple of times and have grown fairly close in a short period of time," the source says. "Brittany thinks Taylor is so sweet and down-to-earth, and they get along really great. The fact that Patrick and Travis are best friends makes things even better. They’re having a blast and love cheering on their men together.”

October 22, 2023 — Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes Show Off Their New Handshake

We group up with the iconic Parent Trap handshake (which was also kind of a dance?), so it only makes since we should hyper fixate on another handshake during our adult years.

Stacy Revere/Getty Images

November 4, 2023 — It's Girls' Night Out!

Taylor Swift has always taken GNO seriously, and in November, she was joined by Brittany, Sophie Turner, Selena Gomez, Cara Delevingne, and Gigi Hadid. Don't mind me, I'm just daydreaming about this group chat.

“Brittany is having a blast hanging out with Taylor and her friends," another source told US Weekly. "She loves making new friends and loves how down-to-earth Sophie, Gigi, Selena and Cara all are.”

December 1, 2023 — Brittany & Patrick Mahomes Join Taylor & Travis At A Holiday Bar

Remember the holiday bar that had us convinced Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce were living an IRL rom-com? Brittany and Patrick Mahomes were also there! Brittany and her hubby wore matching reindeer onesies and rumor has it Taylor and Travis wore matching holiday sweaters.

Maddie Meyer/Getty Images

December 25, 2023 — Brittany Mahomes and Taylor Swift Spend Christmas Together

Spending any major holiday together is a pretty big deal, which is why I was floored when Taylor Swift showed up to the Chiefs' Christmas Day game. She wore an adorable Santa hat with 87 (Travis' number) on it, along with a red sweater and red lipstick. Brittany rocked a Santa hat with Patrick's number 15 and a tweed coat. Ho ho ho!

January 13, 2024 — Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes Twin

Showing up to support your SO's? Fun. Showing up in matching jackets? Extra fun.

February 11, 2024 — Brittany Mahomes and Taylor Swift Share a Super Bowl Moment

We have no doubt Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes have full confidence in their guys. And after the Chiefs won the Super Bowl (and beat the San Francisco 49ers), Brittany Mahomes was reportedly seen pointing to Taylor and shouting "I told you!"

Al Bello/Getty Images

July 6, 2024 — Brittany Mahomes Attends The Eras Tour

Brittany decided to work smarter not harder when she booked a trip to Amsterdam, and showed up at Taylor's Eras Tour. She won the lottery in the surprise song department — Taylor Swift played a “Sweeter Than Fiction” & ”Holy Ground” mash-up, and a “Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)," ”So High School,” & ”Everything Has Changed” mash-up.

September 8, 2024 — Brittany Mahomes and Taylor Swift Attend The US Open

After Brittany and Taylor partied in Rhode Island together, squashing rumors of a feud when Brittany liked one of Donald Trump's social media posts, the BFFs showed up to the US Open with Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce. They both looked classy chic, with Taylor wearing a gingham dress and Brittany wearing a white polo dress.

Brittany Mahomes/Instagram

October 7, 2024 — Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes Hang Out At The Chiefs Game

The WAGs are back at it for the 2024 season, and I'm not mad about it one bit. Not only did Taylor go viral for her metallic faux freckles at the Kansas City Chiefs V. New Orleans Saints, but the BFFs, along with Lyndsay Bell, were also seen cradling Brittany's baby bump! "Same girls, new bump🥹❤️," Brittany said on Instagram.

What's your favorite moment from Brittany Mahomes and Taylor Swift's friendship? Follow us on Facebook for more news on your favorite BFFs and stay tuned for more news!

Sometimes you just want your cocktail to bite back – and with more than just vodka. When herbal drinks and floral concoctions just don’t do it for you, think about adding a little bit of chili to your libations! You’ve experienced savoriness in your Bloody Mary (and even your margarita from time to time), but how about a gin and tonic or a Moscow mule? It’s time to step out of your comfort zone and try some spicy cocktails with your next brunch feast or happy hour get-together. Scroll down for 14 spicy cocktails that’ll definitely get you sweatin'.

Cozy Cravings

Spicy Watermelon Margaritas

Watermelon is just the refreshing flavor note you need to balance out the jalapeño in these spicy cocktails. (via Cozy Cravings)

Tito's Vodka

Pickle & Jalapeño TitoRita

Pickles and jalapeños go surprisingly well together in this delightfully briny concoction. (via Tito's Vodka)

A Spicy Perspective

Spicy Micheladas

You haven't lived until you've tried a michelada. This iteration works in some extra spice to get the party goin'! (via A Spicy Perspective)

Gastroplant

Jade Mezcal Margarita

These spicy cocktails are like a hybrid between your favorite green juice and a classic marg. Packed with kale, ginger, and orange juice, they're an equally healthy and boozy sip! (via Gastroplant)

Mixop

Mango Habanero Margaritas

Mango and habanero will always be a match made in heaven. You'll get a swig of spicy, fruity, sweet, and sour with these gorgeous spicy cocktails! (via Mixop)

Heather Christo

Spicy BLT Green Bloody Marys

There’s a good chance you’ll never buy store-bought Bloody Mary mix ever again after having these spicy sips. Plus, bacon as a garnish? Yes, please! (via Heather Christo)

Jonathan Melendez

Spicy Tomato Gin + Tonics

Put that cocktail muddler to work with this serrano and tomato-infused gin and tonic. Serve 'em ice-cold with cucumber and a salt, pepper, and cayenne-dipped rim. (via Jonathan Melendez)

Nerds With Knives

Hibiscus Cocktail with Mint & Jalapeño

You may not be surprised to see hibiscus in a cocktail, but you might be shocked to drink it with jalapeño. Don’t knock it ’til you try it, because the flavor is *fire.* (via Nerds With Knives)

Inspired by Charm

Sweet Heat

If you’re intimidated by adding peppers to your spicy cocktails, try adding a small amount to a sweet drink to balance it out. This one has jalapeño suspended in a mixture of vodka, pineapple juice, and simple syrup. (via Inspired by Charm)

Cooking For Keeps

Mango & Serrano Chili Daiquiris

Take your stay-cation seriously by lounging outside with a pitcher of these spicy mango daiquiris. You might want to have a glass of water nearby, because these puppies pack a punch. (via Cooking For Keeps)

Cookie + Kate

Pineapple Cilantro Serrano Cocktails

Make these spicy cocktails at home to serve a whole crowd of happy tequila drinkers. (via Cookie + Kate)

Best Friends for Frosting

Pineapple Jalapeño Sangria

Your sangria isn’t immune to the power of peppers. Go for a ripe Chardonnay with tropical flavors to best match up with the pineapple juice and jalapeño! (via Best Friends for Frosting)

Cake ‘n Knife

Spicy Jalapeño Gimlet

You don’t need a ton of frills to enjoy a zesty, spicy cocktail. This gimlet requires only good quality vodka, lime juice, and jalapeño simple syrup to create a strong sip. (via Cake ‘n Knife)

Foolproof Living

Cilantro-Infused Spicy Jalapeño Margaritas

This little number is not for the faint of heart. Thankfully, the sweet and sour flavor of the margarita mix and the cooling effect of cilantro diffuse the spiciness, so it doesn’t totally overwhelm the palate. (via Foolproof Living)

Hello Little Home

Spicy Grapefruit Paloma

If you’re over the classic margarita, a paloma is a great tequila cocktail to take its place! (via Hello Little Home)

Vintage Kitty

Spicy Thai Basil Cucumber Cocktail

Use cucumber and basil to create a cooling base to saturate this bev with spicy flavor. (via Vintage Kitty)

Check out our complete list of hot cocktails for more drink inspiration!

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.