How to Overcome Jealousy and Become a Better Friend

Apr 21, 2016

Social media can make it feel like everyone is getting promoted, sharing their engagement announcement on Instagram, having babies or taking the trip of a lifetime — and it can be really hard to avoid feeling pangs of jealousy when you spot your BFF donning a new diamond ring or sunning herself on the beach. In fact, a recent poll by Wishbone, a social polling app for female millennials, showed that 58 percent of young women admitted to having been jealous of their best friend. Not wanting to be among them, we turned to psychologist, author and speaker Paul Coleman. Read on for his expert advice, which will help you figure out where that awful envy stems from and how to turn it into love and support for your friends instead.

1. Get to the heart of it. Paul says, “Your jealousy can reveal an underlying personal issue or faulty belief, which typically falls into one of two main categories: your sense of personal worth or your sense of personal control. If you react to a friend’s success by thinking ‘It’s not fair!,’ that reflects your sense of diminished control over your life.”

Be more productive with your emotions by accepting that life truly ISN’T always fair — and work hard to gain more influence over your own life. If you’re not sure where to start, remind yourself of what you’ve already accomplished and set specific goals in areas where you want to improve. The power is yours.

2. Choose gratitude. Everyone has things that they’re grateful for and would hate to lose. Think about these instead of fixating on what your friend has and what you don’t. Appreciating the great things about your life will totally give you perspective and can make a huge difference in how you feel.

3. Think about how you’d feel. Flip it and reverse it! Paul suggests, “Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. How would you like others to react to your success?” Use your answer to give your friend the same love, praise and kudos that you’d want for yourself. And never forget that things come full circle. It won’t be long until your friends will be celebrating something exciting that’s happening with you.

4. Become a cheerleader. Transform your feelings of jealousy into vocal support! Talk up your friend’s success to others and become a super promoter of goodwill. Paul says, “It’s proven that the more you think and speak positively about something, the more likely you are to actually FEEL more positive.” So while there’s a tad bit of self-interest involved, your friend is sure to appreciate having you in her support squad.

5. Be inspired! Use your friend’s exciting milestones as inspiration to go after your own. “Find one way that your friend’s success can motivate you to work on some personal goal or to do something positive for yourself or others,” says Paul. “Then thank your friend for inspiring you to make a meaningful step forward in your own life.” If your friend has something you want that’s completely unattainable for you, find something you CAN do and channel your energy toward it.

6. Focus on yourself. Like the popular “Wear Sunscreen” commencement speech wisely reminds us, “the race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself.” Paul agrees and emphasizes, “Know that comparing yourself to others as a way to define your worth will NEVER work. There will always be someone richer, brighter, more attractive, more talented and luckier than you.” So turn your attention to yourself and work hard to be the best person you can be. It’s more than enough.

Have you been jealous of a gal pal or BFF? How did you handle it? Talk to us about it on Twitter @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

Sound The Alarms: Starbucks’ 2024 Holiday Menu Was Just Leaked

Good news for those of you who are already growing tired of pumpkin spice season: Starbucks’ holiday menu for 2024 was just leaked, and it reportedly brings back a ton of seasonal favorites starting next month!

From a classic Peppermint Mocha to the beloved Caramel Brûlée Latte, the recent menu rumors say a new Refresher flavor, 6 unique cold foams, and 4 new bakery items are on the way as the holidays draw near – including many items we predicted. This lineup is honestly wild. The new additions are rumored to hit Starbucks stores on November 7.

If you just can’t wait to order off the Starbucks holiday menu, here’s every offering reportedly coming to your closest cafe!

Drinks

@markie_devo

NEW! Cran-Merry Orange Refresher

The Starbucks holiday menu leak reports that this brand-new Refresher is packed with sweet orange, tart cranberry and warm spice. It also has cranberry inclusions and is order-able mixed with water, lemonade or coconut milk.

Starbucks

Iced Gingerbread Oatmilk Chai

Chai is a totally underrated holiday flavor in our opinion. This iced drink is crafted with warm chai spices and creamy oat milk, then gets topped with even more frothed oat milk infused with gingerbread-flavored syrup and a sprinkling of spice.

Starbucks

Peppermint Mocha

You know it, and you love it! The Peppermint Mocha has hit Starbucks menus year after year, making it a total statement sip for the holiday season. This drink (available hot or iced) combines peppermint syrup, mocha sauce, and your milk of choice with espresso for a festive feel. It's traditionally topped with whipped cream and tasty chocolate curls.

Starbucks

Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha

Similar to the classic Peppermint Mocha, this bev swaps chocolate for white chocolate sauce.

Starbucks

Caramel Brûlée Latte

This rumored Starbucks holiday menu drink is very rich. The sweet caramel brûlée sauce totally completes the sip, along with plenty of whipped cream and crunchy lil' brûlée bits for textural variety.

Starbucks

Sugar Cookie Almondmilk Latte

Literally like a sugar cookie in liquid form, this super-sweet latte is handcrafted with blonde espresso (it's sweeter and lighter than Starbucks' traditional espresso shots), sugar cookie syrup, and almond milk for a little bit of a lighter effect. It's finished off with red and green sprinkles to up the seasonal vibes even more!

Starbucks

Chestnut Praline Latte

This nutty latte – rumored to return for 2024 – brings on notes of chestnut and praline, which is a nice, flavorful departure from the very expected peppermint you'll see everywhere come holiday time.

Starbucks

Salted Pecan Crunch Cold Brew

Initially introduced for fall 2024, it appears as though the Salted Pecan Crunch Cold Brew will stay on the Starbucks menu well into winter. The salted, pecan-flavored cold foam offers that classic sweet n' salty twist you'd enjoy on fall snacks like trail mix or dipped pretzels. The best part is you can now also order the cold foam in non-dairy form!

Starbucks

Holiday Cold Foams

Per the menu leak, Starbs will be bringing back four beloved holiday-flavored cold foamsand two new options for 2024. They're the perfect drink customization to add to your iced coffees and cold brews if you don't want to order an all-out holiday drink. See all the predicted flavors below:

NEW! Gingerbread
NEW! Salted Pecan
Peppermint Chocolate
Sugar Cookie
Chestnut Praline
Caramel Brûlée

Snacks

@markie_devo

NEW! Dark Toffee Bundt

Per the menu leak, this sweet toffee-flavored bundt will be topped with holly- and berry-shaped sprinkles. How perfect for the holiday season!

@markie_devo

NEW! Turkey Sage Danish

This savory snack reportedly includes "turkey sausage with creamy béchamel sauce in a pastry." It sounds like Thanksgiving in a single treat, and we can't wait to try it!

@markie_devo

NEW! Penguin Cookie

This cutie sugar cookie is decorated like a lil' penguin bundled up for the cold.

Starbucks

Snowman Cake Pop

Starbucks' classic vanilla cake pop gets a wintry twist with an adorable snowman face – this sweet really makes us crave the holiday season!

Starbucks

Sugar Plum Cheese Danish

This cream cheese-filled danish is topped with a slightly-spiced sugar plum jam. It's been one of our go-to's over the past few holiday seasons at Starbucks!

Starbucks

Cranberry Bliss Bar

The Cranberry Bliss Bar has become an absolute staple on the Starbucks holiday menu, and for good reason! This blondie treat is smothered in a delicious cream cheese frosting and sprinkled with orange zest and dried cranberries for added seasonal enjoyment.

What People Are Saying About The Leaked Starbucks Holiday Menu

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A post shared by Markie_devo (@markie_devo)

Though most commenters on @markie_devo's Starbucks holiday menu leak post seem to be excited for the upcoming rumored menu items, some Starbs fans noticed a few things missing from the leaked lineup.

"Still missing eggnog 😢," someone noted.

"Where is the toasted white chocolate mocha 😢😢😢😢," another questioned.

"ALLLLLL these cold foams, and not the one people want: Irish Cream," one more commenter said.

"Ugh still no gingerbread loaf 😭," a disappointed user wrote. "Everything else looks bomb though!"

Despite the Eggnog Latte, Toasted White Chocolate Mocha, Irish Cream Cold Brew, and Gingerbread loaf not being part of this year's menu predictions, the holiday season is our favorite time of year at Starbucks. Many more users share the same sentiment:

"So excited for all chestnut praline shaken espressos & cranberry bliss bars 🎄🎄🎄🎄," someone wrote.

"Oh hell yess all the chestnut praline offerings," another rejoiced.

Subscribe to our newsletter to stay posted on the latest Starbucks news, including when the official holiday menu lineup drops!

42 Of The Best ’80s Costume Ideas You Haven’t Seen Before

The '80s were a heyday of pop culture icons, which is why 80s costume ideas are always en vogue. There's something for everyone: a plethora of John Hughes movies, iconic slashers, comic book characters, and even more recent shows like Stranger Things.

And if you've spent every Halloween since 1991 dressed up as Madonna or Michael Jackson from that Pepsi commercial, it's time to change up your throwback outfits a bit. These costumes will help you get in the spooky spirit, regardless of whether you're heading to a party or spending the night handing out candy and watching your favorite Halloween movies. No matter what your plans are, these '80s Halloween costumes will definitely honor this rad decade. Want to try out a different decade too? Check out our '90s costumes and 2000s costumes!

Rock Any Halloween Party With These 80s Costume Ideas

Brit + Co

Stranger Things

Stranger Things may not be from the '80s, but it is set in the decade. This great-for-group costume lets you pick you favorite character and channel them. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

David Bowie and Prince

These two megastars are worth a trip to DIY land. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

'80s Andre Agassi + Tennis Ball

This sporty couple's costume is really cute even sans bump. It's time to ace that virtual costume contest, y'all. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

The Breakfast Club

If you came of age in the '80s, than you're sure to have grown up with this motley crew of high school misfits. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

The Shining Twins

Get creepy with your BFF and reenact this cult classic. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Princess Peach and Toad

Even if you didn't waste countless hours playing Super Mario on your Nintendo, we can all agree this costume duo is cute AF. (via Brit + Co)

Prime Video

Totally Killer

This new murder movie makes for the perfect weekend watch, but it's also a very '80s Halloween costume idea. Bold makeup, shoulder pads, and lots of pearls will turn you into Olivia Holt's Pam, or you can give yourself a blowout and wear her gym uniform instead!

Brit + Co

The Princess Bride

As far as group costumes go, all you need is a giant, someone who looks amazing with a mustache, and a pirate to make up your clique. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Glow

You're destined to have a knockout Halloween when you dress up as this dynamic '80s-inspired cast. We're always in it to win it! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Hall and Oates

Wait, what? Yep. We went there. You really do make our dreams come true. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Sexy Marge Simpson

Mama Simpson never looked so fly. (via Brit + Co)

From TV Shows To Music Stars, These '80s Halloween Costumes Got You Covered

Brit + Co

Operation + Surgeon

Bringing this classic board game to life delivers on comfort, a hint of sexy, and a heavy dose of nostalgia. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Treasure Trolls

Using wigs, a ton of hairspray and nude dresses, you can be a Treasure Troll in no time flat. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Saved by The Bell

Who's the Zack to your Kelly? (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Ghostbusters

Grab your friend group, and a few tan jumpsuits, and you have an instantly recognizable, super easy costume. Grab some reflective tape for the uniform detail, but for the Ghostbusters logo, feel free to attach a paper cutout ;). (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Stranger Things

Hype up the teen spirit by dressing as Nancy, Barb, Jonathan, and Steve too! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Fraggle Rock

Throw your cares away! Why? You've found your costume. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Adam and Barbara Maitland from Beetlejuice

Before they met the man himself, they were just two recently deceased humans navigating the afterlife. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Young Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

We still love these iconic twins, but how CUTE were they in their Full House days?! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Jem

You're going to want to collect pink everything starting now. Go solo or jam with the Holograms! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Ariel and Eric from The Little Mermaid

This idea is straight out of 1989 and never gets old. “Under the sea, under the sea! Darling, it's better, down where it's wetter!" (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Jessica Rabbit

Create the silhouette of Jessica's signature dress by layering a sequined tube top with a sweetheart neckline on top of a maxi skirt. Smokin'! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Twins

Let's journey back to 1988 when the world accepted the idea that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito could be… twins? Wait, WHAT? (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Army Toy Soldiers

“Don't worry, boy. I've got your back." (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co/Walt Disney Pictures/Lucasfilm

Princess Leia

Skip the double hair buns for the classic look from Star Wars (via Brit + Co)

The Coolest Part? These Are '80s Themed Outfits You Can DIY

Brit + Co

Ghostbuster and Marshmallow Man

For those of you who have no desire to DIY but still want a legit getup, look no further than these '80s-inspired pre-made costumes. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Waldo and Wenda

You can never go wrong with classic picture book characters like these two. But can you pick them out of the party crowd? (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Top Gun

Shop around for an army green, khaki, or navy jumpsuit or a dress like the one we found. You can order a batch of movie-inspired patches on Amazon. Once you've got those, you can turn basically anything into a Top Gun costume. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

The Little Mermaid's Ursula

This iconic Disney villain makes for a great costume because it's fun, colorful, and easily recognizable. Whether you're going to a more low-key party where you can wear jeans and a tee or you're going all-out with octopus legs, this makeup look is out of this world. Pair with other characters under the sea for the ultimate group costume! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Wonder Woman

Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman might have come out in 2017, but Lynda Carter's TV show of the same name hit our screens in the late 1970s, making this a perfect '80s Halloween costume. (via Brit + Co)

These '80s Costume Ideas Are Totally Rad

Brit + Co

Lisa Frank and a Unicorn

Be sure to hit up online thrift stores now for the makings of this costume. Is it just us, or does this make you want to listen to “Pony" by Ginuwine? (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Labyrinth

ICYMI, David Bowie stars in this fantastical movie from the '80s. It's creepy, strange, and beautiful all at the same time. And a pretty great Halloween costume idea too. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Phases of the Moon

What's more '80s than a galactic two-piece suit?! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Baywatch Babes

Prepare to save the shoreline with your amazing team AND whistleblowing skills. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

E.T. '80s Halloween Costume

This 'fit takes the cake for easiest Halloween costume ever! While it's originally a maternity costume, you can definitely make it your own, no matter what stage of life you're at. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Return of the Jedi Ewoks Ewoks

Early Star Wars gave us the Ewoks, and we are forever thankful. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Strawberry Shortcake

This '80s classic can be played down with a pair of white sneakers or sexified by wearing a pair of T-strap pumps. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Alvin and the Chipmunks

This playful group costume is comfortable and very school-appropriate. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Cowabunga! Throw together green tights, turtleneck leotards, and spray-painted shells with a pair of gladiator sandals. Then celebrate this awesome costume's success with plenty of pizza after a night of trick or treating. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Axl and Slash

Welcome to the jungle, baby. (via Brit + Co)

Isabella Behravan for Brit + Co

Barbie

Okay, Barbie is not expressly '80s, but that does seem to be her heyday, and the costume above feels very Miami Vice meets a Jane Fonda workout video. (via Brit + Co)

Studio DIY

Ring Pop

Nothing represents an '80s kid like this colorful lollipop jewelry. (via Studio DIY)

What are some of the most unique '80s group costumes you've seen? Share with us on Twitterand check out our email newsletter for more Halloween inspo ahead of spooky season.

This article has been updated from a previous post.

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations

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40 Creative Pumpkin Carving Ideas and Designs

We are officially consuming pumpkin-flavored things faster than leaves can fall off trees, and we can't wait to try out some of our newest creative pumpkin carving ideas. To keep the momentum going with our Halloween decor obsession, we've rounded up the best of the best in pumpkin design. So whether you're getting intricate with it or just want to drill a few holes, these unique ideas will get you carving and embellishing creatively this Halloween.

Image via Brit + Co

Flamingo Pumpkin

It's always a bit easier to just paint them, right? And you can easily add everything you need to make a flock of them for your living room.

Shutterstock

Make this cute fox by slicing spots for cardboard ears and tails and painting a little heart face!

Image via A Beautiful Mess

Daisy Pumpkin

Celebrate the Summer of Love all the way into October with this boho, no-carve pumpkin design.

Image via Handmade Charlotte

DIY Cat Drilled Pumpkin

Opting for a repeating pattern and some paint creates a fresh look without having to spend hours carving out a ghoulish face.

Image via In My Own Style

Candy Jar Carved Pumpkin

Turn your pumpkin into a candy jar with some knife skills and chalkboard paint.

Shutterstock

Nightmare Before Christmas fans can make these 'kins with black and white paint!

Image via Brit + Co

Unicorn Pumpkin

Because we all need a little bit of magic as we go about our day.

Image via A Beautiful Mess

Thanksgiving Pumpkin

White pumpkins are versatile, and this simple fabric paint DIY will carry you through from Halloween to Thanksgiving.

Textured Clay Bow Craft Pumpkin

Go ghostly with your own textured bow from clay for a unique décor piece! (via Michael's)

Etsy

Cute Ghost Pumpkin

Carve a ghost with this Etsy stencil - easy, peasy!

Image via Design Improvised

Modern Geometric Pumpkin

Since you won't be carving, stick to a smoother faux pumpkin for this DIY. Its less-pronounced ridges will make it easier to apply these vinyl pieces.

Image via Studio DIY

Gold Confetti-Dipped Pumpkin

These pumpkins were *meant* to be seen.

Image via Aww Sam

Cactus Pumpkin

These are simple to DIY and are a major conversation starter.

Image via Dans Lakehouse

Turquoise Pumpkin

Rhinestones make everything prettier, and we love this DIY teal-painted take on the orange classic.

Image via Brit + Co

DIY Animal Pumpkins

Invite the girls over to spend an afternoon carving woodland creatures. They'll thank you later.

Image via Brit + Co

Finding Dory Pumpkins

Ya know, for the kids in your life. Don't forget to do Hank the Septopus!

Image via Brit + Co

Gold Leaf Patterned Pumpkin

Yes, you can add a chic touch to your decor with a *pumpkin*.

Image via Brit + Co

Cosmic Pumpkins

Those pre-painted plastic versions are the perfect backdrop for a night's sky or the Milky Way.

Image via Brit + Co

Emoji Head Pumpkins

Bring those keyboard faves to life this year with a stoop full of emojis.

Image via Brit + Co

Anatomy Pumpkins

Rather than hanging a skeleton outside the door to spook trick-or-treaters, carve these pumpkins for a more original take on the tradition.

Image via Studio DIY!

Pun-kins

Bow down, witches.

Image via Aww Sam

Cross-Stitch Pumpkins

Take your hobby to the next level this season with these charming & ghoulish designs.

Image via Paper & Stitch

Creepy Cat-Eye Pumpkin

This one doesn't need to be big to make a statement. The multitude of eyes staring back at you as you walk across the room is creepy enough.

Skeleton Diorama Pumpkin

Love this diorama idea! Choose your theme and add some sparkle. Make it a party! (via Michael's)

Image via Sarah Hearts

Scalloped Pumpkin

Have some tissue confetti left over? Excellent. Layer it to create a fish-scale effect.

Hocus Pocus Pumpkins

Image via Lovely Indeed

Hocus Pocus Pumpkins

Thackery Binx would be proud to sit by these while guarding the book and the black flame candle.

Image via Handmade Charlotte

Tetris Pumpkin

AKA Pumpktris, this carved and LED-equipped 'kin is perfect for the throwback gamer in all of us.

Image via A Bubbly Life

Retro Label Maker Pumpkins

Live your office supply dreams all season long with a label maker.

Image via Paper & Stitch

Text Pumpkins

Text designs make a big impact without all the hard work.

Image via Delineate Your Dwelling

Simple Tassel Pumpkin

There are never enough ways to use all the cute tassels in the world. This is ideal for adding texture to the waxy ones.

Image via Design Improvised

Pom Pom Pumpkins

Living colorfully is a 24/7 kind of lifestyle. Embrace the trend this fall with a collection of rainbow pumpkins.

Image via Hello, Wonderful

Hot Crayon Pumpkin

Don't bother with melted crayon art. Instead, use the technique on these tiny little ones. They'd make a stylish centerpiece and are a way to get the kids involved.

Image via Hello Wonderful

String Art Pumpkin

String us along anytime for an art project that combines bright fabric, metal, and organic materials.

Image via Lovely Indeed

Gold Geo No-Carve Pumpkins

These geometric gold pumpkins may look fancy, but they only require you to use a gold pen.

Image via JoJoTastic

Boho Agate Geode Jack-O-Lantern

Incorporate crystal magic into your Halloween decor-scape with agate slices that glow deep blue when candlelit.

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Pumpkin Flower

This may not be for novices, but it's a totally different take on pumpkin carving for those at home with a scalpel.

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Jacqueline Coonan on Instagram: "Crescent Carvings 🌙 / Candle Holders 🕯 / @michaelsstores Pumpkins 🎃 #pumpkincarving #pumpkincarvings #pumpkincrafts #pumpkinart #pumpkindecor #pumpkindecorating #pumpkinpainting #foampumpkin #diypumpkins #diyhalloweendecorations #diypartydecor #diyhomedecor #halloweentablescape #falltablescape #falltabledecor #mymichaels #makeitwithmichaels #makersofinstagram #makersgonnamake #craftersofinstagram #craftersgonnacraft #longislandartist #longislandart"

White Moon

Simple yet refreshingly different, this white pumpkin carving is perfect for beginners.

Day of the Dead

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British Autumn Vibes on Instagram: "Spooky season 😍🍁🧡 #britishautumn #autumnleaves #autumnvibes #autumndays #sweaterweather #pumpkinspiceeverything #autumn #fall #fallvibes #ukautumn #pumpkin #pumpkincarving #halloweensmorgasbord #halloweensnacks #spookyseason"

This post has been updated.

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