Okay we'll admit it: showing love to your S.O., your female friends, and your family can be a lot harder than it sounds. Doing life with someone is messy, and it's not always fun to sacrifice your desires or even your pride for a relationship. But it's okay to feel that way! Love isn't necessarily supposed to be easy, but that's what makes it meaningful. There are plenty of healthy ways to show love and strengthen your relationships at the same time. Keep reading for five ideas to get you started.
More Than A Random Act Of Kindness
Selflessness can help any relationship function better. Self-care (and making sure you're not working yourself into the ground) are super important, but that doesn't mean we can expect others to do everything we want without offering anything back. Relationships require all of us — it's more than 50/50. It should be 100/100!
This in no way condones manipulation or force of any kind; being kind to someone you love doesn't mean that you're at their beck and call. But putting your friends, family, and partner first — everyday, not just every once in awhile when you feel like it — shows that you care about them more than you care about yourself... especially when you're doing something (we're looking at you, dirty dishes) that you don't enjoy.
Keep It Positive
In a perfect world, there would be no negative self-talk, but unfortunately that's not the case. And we understand how difficult that is! While it can be tempting to fall into the habit of critiquing your body or your personality, it can take a toll on both your own self-esteem and the self-esteem of people around you. When others hear you talk bad about yourself, they're more likely to engage in their own negative self-talk and feel worse about themselves, according to Psychology Today.
You never want to give a loved one the impression that it's okay to talk badly about their personality or their body. Instead, when feeling badly about yourself, make the decision to replace that negative thought with a positive one. Say something you love about yourself out loud, and while you're at it, tell someone else what you love about them too in the form of a genuine compliment!
Kiss And Make Up
Image via Jakob Owens/Unsplash
Disagreements, even full out arguments at times, are inevitable in any relationship. While that's a difficult reality, it's also important to know how to make up once the fight is over. It's never fun to admit that you were wrong or to be the first to apologize, but it's important, especially if you've argued in front of others.
Not only can public conflict resolution help the people who see you handle it in the future — Healthline found that middle schoolers whose parents resolved disagreements developed better coping skills — but it'll also show people that an argument doesn't have to be the death of a relationship.
Show You're Listening
We've all been in a conversation where someone we're excited to talk to breaks eye contact to look at their phone. (And honestly, we've done it too). It doesn't seem like a big deal, but it can actually have some pretty serious consequences. Looking at your phone instead of the person you're with "was found to threaten four 'fundamental needs' — belongingness, self-esteem, meaningful existence and control — by making [snubbed] people feel excluded and ostracized," according to TIME.
Giving a friend or partner your undivided attention might seem like common knowledge, but it's harder than ever these days. Turning off your phone while you're spending time with your loved one is one small action that makes a big difference. Show your loved one that you care enough to look them in the eye and remember what they tell you. The benefit to your relationships will be more rewarding than social media!
Accept Criticism
Love is both give and take, and sometimes that means accepting hard love. And we're not talking about criticism with the intent of hurting you or causing issues. We're talking about constructive, beneficial criticism. While receiving constructive criticism can plant doubt that they don't love you anymore because they're pointing out a flaw, that's not necessarily the case. When we love someone, we want to help them!
Maybe they're feeling neglected or they're honest about a joke you made that hurt their feelings. Even when we don't intend to hurt the people we love, we're all humans who make mistakes and that's okay — as long as we listen to the people who our mistakes affect. And if you can work through it together, it will only make your relationship stronger.
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