How to Start Your Social Media Life Over Again

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

We couldn't leave this obvious group costume idea out of the mix. Whether you go sexy or sweet, it's always a good fallback. You'll love to twirl your skirts and sing your songs! (via Brit + Co)

Nevermore Students From 'Wednesday'

Get all your friends together and dress as Wednesday, Enid, and the gang from Nevermore! You don't have to dye your hair rainbow colors, but we also would totally respect you if you did.

Whether you're dressing up with your family or your friend group, this 80s Halloween costume is so easy (not to mention it's very comfortable). Don't forget your mustaches! (via Brit + Co)

Daisy Jones & The Six

Rock out with a costume inspired by one of the best new TV shows this year. There's a very good chance you can find crochet, leather, and suede pieces in your local thrift store — or you can just ask your parents. 👀

The base of this costume is really simple — jean shorteralls, a long-sleeve yellow shirt, tall yellow socks, a yellow beanie, black gloves, and preferably black sneakers. (via Brit + Co)

Have white go-go boots, will costume partayyy! (via Brit + Co)

After you rewatch Deadpool & Wolverine (again), kick some butt with a Deadpool group Halloween costume. Unfortunately, Ryan Reynolds is not included. (via Brit + Co)

Do you love this sparkly bev to death? Grab your girls (and boy) and create the ultimate cast with your fave flaves. Start your DIY with this hamper. (via Brit + Co)

Rumpus Rumpus Rumpus is how you get the party started. (via Brit + Co)

Dress the whole fam in your fave marine creature cast! Dory, Hank, and Nemo FTW! (via Brit + Co)

Who’s the Lorelai to your Rory? Choose carefully and then pick your main men too. (via Brit + Co)

Watch your head if you and your friends decide to dress up as this crazy cast of characters. You're gonna need a foam sword and faux fur to pull these looks off. (via Brit + Co)

What's better than a wicked AF sisterhood?! Don't forget the brooms. (via Brit + Co)

Cowabunga! Throw together green tights, turtleneck leotards, and spray-painted shells with a pair of gladiator sandals. Then celebrate this awesome costume's success with plenty of pizza after a night of trick or treating. (via Brit + Co)

Asteroid City

Wes Anderson's latest tale revolves around something the whole world is talking about: aliens. Whether you decide to go as an extraterrestrial or go all-out with teal and orange outfits, this is one group Halloween costume that is instantly recognizable.

Put your best fascinator forward and do your best impression of the royal fam. (via Brit + Co)

How punny is this costume? Pick your favorite spice, grab a cheap white tee, and get ready to DIY a perfect ’90s throwback look. (via Brit + Co)

These 2000s costumes are so easy to replicate — you probably already have a lot of the items in your closet already! Grab your closest girlfriends to be every Spice Girl or go stag with our awesome Ginger Spice redhead Halloween costume. (via Brit + Co)

This is one of our favorite throwback ideas for incorporating some pop culture into your Halloween. And it gets bonus points for being a perfect choice for soon-to-be moms who still want to dress up with their gals. (via Brit + Co)

The gang's all here — let's catch 'em all. (via Brit + Co)

Dress your whole posse as this amazing cast just in time to celebrate Halloween — and Stranger Things 5. (via Brit + Co)

Vanderpump Rules SUR Staff

Bring the drama this Halloween by wearing some pretty iconic uniforms. Boots or ballet flats will definitely be the most comfortable, but feel free to go all-out with heels if you're feeling it!

Babes who brunch together, stay together — on Sundays and Halloween days! (via Brit + Co)

After the girl-power and Gen-Z remakes of Ghostbusters, we knew this DIY costume tutorial was a must. Grab your besties and spend a night in DIYing your group Halloween costume. You’ll never believe it, but the secret behind this look is Tupperware containers. (via Brit + Co)

After sobbing our way through Inside Out 2, we're feeling all kinds of emotions about this Pixar film-inspired group look. (via Brit + Co)

Channel your inner Slater, Kelly, Zach, and Jessie with some sweet threads straight out of the late '80s. Just don't forget the old-school cell phone with an antenna bigger than your head. (via Brit + Co)

Barbies And Kens

Come on Barbie, let's go party! Grab your closest pals to dress up as 2023's most iconic toys-turned-humans. Take a hint from the viral set pictures or use the Barbie movie character posters as inspiration. (via Brit + Co)

Get nostalgic with this early era Lohan-inspired squad costume. Unleash your inner mean girl if you dare! (via Brit + Co)

The Pogues

This is a great costume because it uses up pieces that you will definitely wear again! (It's also great for anyone who lives somewhere that's always warm). The key to a recognizable Outer Banks costume? John B's backwards hat-and-bandana combo, the girls' layered necklaces, and lots of bracelets.

This get-up is bound to take the costume contest gold. This Olympics group costume also a much-needed excuse to wear sweatpants to all of your outdoor Halloween parties. Swap a few details and you can be 2024's Team USA, the Golden Girls, too! (via Brit + Co)

Or is it Bae watch? Love the sexy swimsuit. (via Brit + Co)

Taylor Swift and Her Group Girl Halloween Costumes

Taylor Swift and Her Group Girl Halloween Costume. This costume is sure to turn heads. (via Brit + Co)

Unite the gang with a superhero theme. Instead of sticking to either DC or Marvel, have them pick their fave heroes and go from there. (via Brit + Co)

Not digging the lingerie costumes? Wear a giant red cape and dress modestly with a bonnet for this Handmaid's Tale look. (via Brit + Co)

We might have said goodbye to Riverdale, but the show's iconic looks will always make great Halloween costumes. (via Brit + Co)

Taylor Swift's "I Can See You" Music Video

You can't go wrong with a good Taylor Swift halloween costume and "I Can See You" is a super fun pick for anyone who loves spies — and Speak Now (Taylor's Version), of course.

Consider this Guardians of the Galaxy the perfect getup for the whole crew — kids included. (via Brit + Co)

You don't actually need a character-based theme to go as a group. Pick any color and roll with it. (via Brit + Co)

Try lining up a bottle of Corona, a lime wedge, and an avocado. (via Brit + Co)

Is Ocean's 8 one of our all-time favorite movies? Yes. Does it make for the most badass Halloween costume? Also yes. You're gonna want to bookmark this one! (via Brit + Co)

Tell everyone to come dressed head to toe in one color, and for true commitment, use a marker for the “PANTONE” part. (via Sugar & Cloth)