How to Stop Overscheduling Yourself

Levo League
Aug 05, 2015

Over the past six months, my calendar has become a battle zone. Networking lunches, coffees, drinks, dinners and events compete for limited slots in the work week — I view the available slots as two per week day, excluding Friday night, which I reserve for Netflix and sleep. On the weekends, I’m so burned out that I try my best not to make any plans whatsoever, so I can spend time catching up on freelance work, Parks and Rec and sanity. When good friends ask, “Do you want to grab a drink and catch up this week?” on Sunday or Monday, the next available slot is usually two or three weeks out. Let’s not play the “Yeah, we get it Kelsey, you’re so popular” game, because that’s not what this is.

It’s a serious problem that instead of saying no to anything, I just keep scheduling weeks in advance. At 23, I can’t make casual or spontaneous plans with friends. I love being busy, going to events and meeting new people, but even I can recognize that I’ve gone too far. And since I know many similarly ambitious millennial women are facing the same issue, I thought it was time to ask some experts what to do about our overscheduling addiction and how to be more selective about our time.

1. Establish your priorities.

“It’s imperative that you’re able to prioritize all of the opportunities in your life and career,” said millennial performance advisor Porshia Parker. “Basing your priorities on your values is an excellent way to remove any guilt you may have about telling someone no. Making a list of your top five values (freedom, career growth, family, money etc.) and comparing it with a list of all of the commitments (activities/events) you’ve made is a great exercise. If a commitment doesn’t match with any of your top values, ask yourself: Is this something that is moving me closer to my goals? If not, consider canceling it.”

2. Share those priorities.

“Communicate your goals with the people in your circle who matter,” said career coach Angelina Darrisaw. “In most situations, close friends won’t fault you for working late when they know you are chasing a promotion.”

3. Don’t say yes right away.

“Slow down and think before scheduling something,” said millennial career coach Crystal Batya Marsh. “Many ambitious women have a tendency toward people-pleasing and are afraid of how someone else will think or feel about her if she says no. It’s important to consider for yourself, ‘Am I doing this because I want to or because I feel obligated in some way? Am I truly obligated or am I creating a story about the obligation?’ We sometimes go into elaborate storytelling regarding why we must do something, but the story might not be true. We are imagining how the other person is going to react before we’ve even spoken to them. This is problematic because you can never know how a person actually feels or what is going through her head. Moreover, even if you could, it is not your responsibility to keep everyone around you happy.”

4. If you have to “squeeze it in,” just say no.

“When someone asks you to do something and you begin to think, ‘maybe I can squeeze this in between my workout, meeting and emails,’ it’s a good indicator you should say no, said Val Matta, VP of business development at Career Shift. Tell the person you appreciate him or her for thinking of you, but you can’t help out at this time. Briefly explain the other commitments you have, and that you don’t want to say yes to something you can’t devote the amount of time required for you to do your best work.”

5. Use a printed, monthly calendar.

Theresa Sintetos, a millennial with ADD who recently accepted her first full-time job out of college, said she had to learn this lesson the hard way. I couldn’t agree more with her tip: “Throw it back to a paper calendar. This may sound so passé, but buy an old school agenda and write in pencil. Calendar programs and apps are great but they often aren’t as flexible as your life is. Physical calendars allow you to write in the margins, create unimposing to-do lists and literally see your life laid out in front of you.”

6. Schedule in your personal time.

Like I do with my Friday nights, millennial entrepreneur Bonnie Treece said she has learned that she needs to schedule “me time” into her calendar. Even though I am fully aware that that time block is for nothing in particular, it allows me to say “no” to things I don’t truly want to attend because I can simply say, “I’m sorry, I am busy at that time” or “I’m sorry; I already have other plans.” Even if that time is spent taking a bubble bath, it matters and it counts! The key to managing your life this way is to keep that blocked-off time sacred. Do not allow yourself to book something work-related during that time no matter what. It’s important to realize that you cannot perform your job to the fullest or be the best friend, mother, or daughter you can be until you have completely taken care of yourself.

Are you guilty of overscheduling? Share your experiences in the comment section below.

This post was originally published on Levo League by Kelsey Manning.

How to Manage Your Time and To-Dos Like a Boss

We all want to be more productive and get things done, but most of us don’t really know how. Do you want to know the real secret to improving your productivity?

You need a personal mission statement! Because once you understand the “why” behind your goals, you can better prioritize opportunities, ideas and work. If that seems a little ambiguous right now, don’t fret. Motivational speaker and writer Maxie McCoy is here to show you how to bring productive habits into your life with a new online class.

In collaboration with Levo, Maxie’s online class will arm you with tools to create a productive lifestyle in 2017. By the end of her course, you’ll know how to:

  1. Develop your personal mission statement and use the SMART recipe to set goals
  2. Practice single-task time management skills to prioritize tasks
  3. Create actionable to-do lists (that are not overwhelming!)
  4. Use your new productive habits to work smarter, not harder — and get more done!

In addition to learning valuable time management and productivity skills, you’ll also unlock a 12-page workbook created by Maxie that includes:

  • Three important steps to follow to create a personal mission statement
  • A worksheet to plan out three career-driving goals and make sure they’re SMART
  • A guide to help you manage your time like a boss
  • A guide to help you handle your daily, weekly and monthly to-do lists
  • Tips and tricks on how to keep productive habits moving forward

It’s time for a new, more productive YOU! Turn your ideas into actions, and let’s make those dreams become a reality in 2017.

So what are you waiting for? Enroll in How to Boost Your Productivity class today!

Did you pre-order for the class? Access to the Levo Courses offered will only be available to anyone who pre-ordered for this class between December 29, 2016 and January 2, 2017. Be on the lookout for an email from Levo! Brit + Co will also randomly select three early enrollees (who signed up for the class during this timeframe) to enjoy TWO business courses for FREE!

levo leaguenew yearonline classesproductivityresolutionslearning

Whoa, Lauren Graham Just Gave Us The Best 'Gilmore Girls' Reboot News

No matter how many times you've rewatched Gilmore Girls, it's always good to see Lauren Graham again. The actress played the stylish and coffee-loving Lorelai Gilmore on seven seasons of the show, and the 2016 Netflix revival, before taking on her brand new comedy The Z-Suite. But would Lauren want to revisit Stars Hollow (aside from that amazing Walmart ad of course). Great news, GG fans! Lauren's resounding answer is YES!

Here's what Lauren Graham had to say about revisiting Stars Hollow for a Gilmore Girls reboot.

Lauren Graham will "always say yes" to doing a 'Gilmore Girls' reboot.

When Jimmy Fallon asks about Lauren Graham returning to the world of Gilmore Girls, the actress says she'd “always say yes” to stepping back into Lorelai's shoes (er...cowboy boots). “I would, yes. I always say yes," she says during the interview. "Because it's the best part I ever had, and I loved doing it. It's just that thing where it was the perfect material at the perfect time with the perfect writer, and it just means so much to me.”

(Scott Patterson also told Brit + Co he's "always hopeful" for another Gilmore Girls revival — especially "if anybody can come up with a really interesting way to get back into this.")

In fact, Lauren loves Gilmore Girls so much that she revealed in 2021 that she actually has a clause in all her contracts in case a new GG opportunity presents itself. And you know what? I'm grateful.

"The shows are so restrictive now," she told SiriusXM's EW Live host Jessica Shaw. "So we're trying to just carve out some pockets, just in case."

"I don't want to start any new rumors," she says. "It's not for any concrete reason, except that I have a loyalty and an openness to working with [creator Amy Sherman-Palladino], first of all. And because we could never have predicted that in the past. So that door is open. Is it creatively warranted? Is it, you know, something? I don't know."

While sitting down to chat about her new show The Z-Suite, Lauren Graham exclusively told Brit + Co she didn't think Lorelai would fit very well into that workplace environment. "She would be bored by the world of the office and I think would relate way more to the Gen Z people cause in her mind, she's always kind of one of the kids," she says. "But the office culture, she'd bring them coffee and then leave."

Do you want to see another installment of Gilmore Girls? I think seeing Lauren Graham as Lorelai again would simply cure all my ills. Read up on 16 Memorable Gilmore Girls Quotes That Prove It's The Best Show Of The 21st Century for even more Gilmore Girls love.

pop cultureentertainmentgilmore girlstv

6 Mentorship Myths We Need to Clear Up Right Now

There are so many myths out there (The Loch Ness Monster, the Bermuda Triangle, all that stuff that happened on the set of Poltergeist), and many of them surround mentorships. People think certain things when they hear the word “mentor” or “mentoring,” and a lot of it is false. As part of #MayIsForMentorship month, let’s get to the bottom of these myths so you can find the perfect professional mentor!

1. Mentoring is totally one-sided. False! It takes two to tango, people — both on Dancing With the Stars and in a mentor/mentee relationship. This is not you just showing up and asking the Wizard of Oz for answers to all your problems. You need to give your mentor something to work with. Explain the context, including your background, your hopes, your goals, your limitations and what you would like help with from them. Even Luke Skywalker gave Yoda some basic guidelines.

2. Mentors have to be older than you. No way, Jose. Mentors can be the same age as you, or even younger. If someone can give you guidance in your career and has done things you admire, why wouldn’t you want to pick their brains? Elle Magazine editor Leah Chernikoff told Real Simple, “I’m at least five years older than many of my coworkers, and despite my being supposedly wiser and their boss, I find myself taking notes from them on new apps, trending hashtags and the latest way to stream live video.”

3. The relationship has to be in person. If companies can function well with employees all over the world, then there is no reason why you can’t have a great communicative relationship with your mentor over Skype, texts, email and Google Hangout.

4. Mentoring stops once you reach your goals. Absolutely not! You don’t just ditch your mentor once you have hit your marks. Now is when you need them more than ever. Super successful people talk to their mentors everyday! General Motors CEO Mary Barra is constantly using her network of mentors, and she is the CEO! “Different people see different aspects of us as we progress in our careers and handle the opportunities and challenges along the way,” she writes. She said her mentors have helped her to speak up in meetings and honor commitments.

5. You can only have one mentor. Lyle Stevens, co-founder of the social influencer marketing platform Mavrck, says it is best to have mentors in different area of expertise. He has four, actually — “one very technical expert, a second one who’s an expert on customer acquisition and marketing, a third who is focused on recruiting and team building and the fourth is an expert in general operations, team management and how to run a business.” He even has one that helps with work-life balance.

We’re not saying everyone needs four, but don’t limit yourself to just one. “When building your network of mentors, be honest about your mid- and long-term career goals, and how hard you are willing to work to achieve them. Then turn to those who best know you and your work. Earn their respect and trust so they will extend their personal capital to you with confidence and be your professional champion,” Barra said in an interview. 

6. Only mentees will learn from this relationship. Not so. Mentors can get so much knowledge from their mentees. In addition to learning how to be more tech savvy, they may also gain a new outlook by looking back on their own career milestones.

Got any career myths you need us to explore? Tweet us @BritandCo and let us know!

This post was previously published on Levo League by Meredith Lepore

(Photos via Getty)

levo league

8 Signs Your Boss Doesn't Trust You (And What to Do About It)

The best working relationships are built on trust, so when it's lacking between you and your boss, even simple day-to-day tasks can become seriously frustrating. Not to mention, the lack of belief in your abilities may cause your career growth to stall over time and leave you feeling incapable or insecure.

So, if you've noticed some subtle (or not-so-subtle) signs that your boss doesn't seem to trust you, it's important to recognize and nip them in the bud early. Whether it's constant second-guessing, micro-managing, or an overall sense of being sidelined, here's how to spot the red flags, address them, and get your career back on track.

Scroll to see the 8 signs your boss doesn't actually trust you at work.

1. Micromanaging

RDNE Stock project

One of the clearest signs that your boss doesn't trust you is incessant micromanaging. If they're always looking over your shoulder, questioning every decision you make, or checking in on task progress more often than necessary, they likely have doubts about your abilities.

Employees who are micromanaged often feel undermined and less confident in their work. After all, it's hard to perform at your best if you feel like you're constantly being watched.

If you're dealing with micromanaging, take a step back and consider the situation. Is there something in your recent work performance or behavior that might've caused your boss to start hawking you?

If not, you can spark an open conversation with your boss, express how their management style makes you feel, and ask how processes can be changed to give you a bit more independence.

2. Your Suggestions Are Ignored

Tiger Lily

Next, if you regularly offer up ideas or suggestions in the office and your boss quickly dismisses or completely overlooks them, it might suggest that they don't trust your judgment or value your input.

If you believe you're not being taken seriously and your experience is being disregarded, you can have a one-on-one conversation with your boss. Make it clear that you'd like to contribute by saying something like, "I noticed some of my suggestions haven't been taken into consideration, and I'd appreciate feedback on how I can better align my ideas with your vision moving forward."

3. You're Overlooked For Projects And Promotions

Yan Krukau

Have important projects or big promotions consistently passed you by? It may indicate that your boss doesn't trust you to handle the increased responsibility.

Being left out of assignments or opportunities to climb the corporate ladder is discouraging and can make employees feel as if their skills or potential are underappreciated.

Now, it's possible your boss genuinely isn't aware that you're interested in taking on more. Either way, it's best to talk about your career goals with your boss and let them know you're eager to contribute more and grow with your company.

4. You're Kept In The Dark

Kaboompics.com

Many people have had the dreaded experience of not being invited to a classmate's birthday party in elementary school. Being kept in the dark at the office is a similar feeling.

Do you often find yourself being taken by surprise at work, whether by personnel changes, brand-new projects, or meetings you weren't invited to? When you're left out of key conversations and excluded from any decision-making, it could mean your boss questions your ability to handle information or believes you don't need to know what's going on.

In this scenario, the best thing you can do is address the issue head-on. Show that you'd like to be more involved in decision-making processes by telling your boss something like, "I'd really appreciate being included in important discussions as I believe I can contribute valuable insights."

5. You Feel Isolated In The Office

cottonbro studio

Aside from the boardroom, companies tend to have their own social culture. So, you may be getting left out of casual office conversations, team activities, or informal gatherings, like happy hour drinks on Fridays.

If your boss is the person behind your exclusion, it may signal that they aren't comfortable inviting you into their inner office circle. This alienation can lead you to feel alone and make it difficult to forge better relationships with your overall team.

You can try to bridge the gap by asking your boss for more collaborative work opportunities or planning after-hours get-togethers for your team on your own.

6. You're Not Allowed To Take Initiative

RDNE Stock project

Another red flag that your boss doesn't trust your abilities or judgment is if you're required to ask for permission before taking any action.

It can be incredibly limiting to personal and professional growth when you're not given the freedom to take initiative because you always have to receive direct orders or wait for approval on your next move. Don't be afraid to have a transparent conversation with your boss about the lack of autonomy in your current role and ask for ways to show them that you're capable of acting independently.

7. You Are Never Given Feedback

Kaboompics.com

It's easy to feel uncertain about where you stand in your role if you've never been given any feedback. Your boss might doubt your ability to handle constructive criticism or doesn't have faith that you can better your performance with their comments.

To handle this, take the initiative and ask for regular feedback from your boss directly, whether that's on a monthly or quarterly basis. You can phrase the request like, "I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts on my recent projects so I can keep improving."

8. You're Frequently Criticized

cottonbro studio

Finally, in contrast to never receiving feedback, you might have a boss who never stops criticizing your work. Not only can this leave you questioning your skills, but it can be unmotivating, making you feel as if it's impossible to make your boss happy.

You'll have to determine if your boss' ongoing concerns are valid or not. And regardless of what you believe, you should have a serious conversation with them.

Ask your boss for specific examples of what needs improvement, as well as steps you can take to meet their expectations. Showing that you're receptive to their feedback and actively looking for ways to work together on boosting your performance can help rebuild some trust.

Looking for more work advice? Sign up for our newsletter so you never miss a thing!

workwork advicecareer advicecareer

Lauren Graham Reveals How Lorelai Gilmore Would Fit Into Hilarious New Comedy 'The Z-Suite'

Lauren Graham's new TV show on Tubi, The Z-Suite, follows an advertising CEO named Monica, and her faithful friend Doug (Nico Santos), who get cancelled, fired, and replaced by a whole new Gen Z social media team after an ad campaign gone wrong. So naturally, when I sit down with the two stars in New York City, I have to ask what their most-used app is.

"I think mine is probably a New York Times games and cooking," Lauren Graham tells Brit + Co exclusively. "I'm new to Instagram and I'm still working it out."

And when it comes to Gen Z slang, "I 'sus' every now and then," Nico says. "I still don't get cheugy."

"Somebody my age the other night said they liked my 'fit,' and I was like, 'Hold on,'" Lauren jokes. "I'm one of those boring people who still will write out entire words in a text because it's just is offensive to me to shorten everything until I'm not even sure what I'm doing."

Yes, Lauren Graham is truly as funny as you'd hope in real life, and The Z-Suite is the perfect way to show off that humor.

Keep reading to see why Lauren Graham's The Z-Suite is the ultimate winter comfort watch — and how Lorelai Gilmore would fit into the picture.

Lauren Graham & Nico Santos say 'The Z-Suite' is the perfect winter TV show.

"It's a fun world. It's easy viewing in a fun, comforting way," Lauren says of the new series, which premiered on Tubi February 6. "It's speaking to a moment in our culture, but without kind of taking a side or being too militant about it. We haven't kind of seen these generations interact, and I don't know, it's fun."

"It's a comedy for everybody certainly, but if you look at our cast, it's I think one of the most diverse casts you'll see out there, which I think is really important," Nico says. "We're telling the story through this lens and just sort of giving the other people a chance to tell their story as well."

And working behind the scenes created a "creative and fun" environment for the cast.

Tubi

Gilmore Girls fans have been wanting more from Lauren Graham ever since the GG finale, her 6-season hit Parenthood, and the Gilmore Girls: Year in the Life Netflix revival came in quick succession. Despite the fact she's found TV gold multiple times, Lauren admits choosing the perfect project is "probably less of a science than people think."

"There's so much that goes into what kind of job you're looking for versus what kind of job comes to you," she says. "I try to think in terms of, is this something I feel I can add to, like can I bring something that maybe is not on the page? And then is this far enough away, because in TV especially, you tend to get offered what you've already done, and so for this to even have a little bit of stretch, which I think it does, was really just a fun opportunity."

"For me it's all about the comedy in the scripts," Nico Santos adds. "That's my background and if I don't laugh reading a script, then I'm like, I'm not gonna do it."

"That is a huge part of it too," Lauren agrees. "Who the creator is and, in speaking to Katie [O’Brien], Nico knew her already, but I just thought this is someone I want to spend my days with, and that's really probably the most important decision, or a piece of the decision is, does this seem like it's going to be creative and fun?"

And one of Lauren's favorite parts of bringing the character of Monica to life was fleshing her out beyond the stereotypical "mean" boss archetype. "You know, the sort of like a tough older boss — I hate saying older, but I relative to the rest of everybody, yes!" she laughs. "I just wanted there to be kind of a reason behind her drive and a heart there, even though it is a pretty broad comedy. We talked about that and tried to find those moments where she's softer."

"There are moments that aren't really grounded and very sort of ridiculous, but it's also very important to infuse that sort of craziness with being grounded," Nico says. "So I think it's creating that balance and that's what makes the character so likable, I think."

Lauren Graham also loved the community aspect of filming 'The Z-Suite.'

Tubi

With the Gen Z, virtual workplace of it all, there will be some The Z-Suite viewers who have never worked in an office, including myself (and Lauren apparently). But seeing all the characters together creates a community that I totally didn't expect when I sat down to watch.

"Any opportunity to be with the community and be working and be back to anything resembling normal is a real gift," Lauren says. "It was fun too, it's like playing in a new kind of place, and I found after a little initial awkwardness that I really could walk into my office and take charge and that was like a new kind of a channel to walk into."

"I just like being a part of an ensemble," Nico says. "On my previous job with Superstore, it's like ensemble comedy and we did that for so long. So that's an environment where I really thrive, so I love it."

And in the spirit of past projects, I can't help but ask how they think Crazy Rich Asians' Oliver and Gilmore Girls' Lorelai would fit into the picture?

"Lorelai would not do well," Lauren Graham says. "She would be bored by the world of the office and I think would relate way more to the Gen Z people cause in her mind, she's always kind of one of the kids. But the office culture, she'd bring them coffee and then leave."

"Oliver would be a client," Nico Santos says. "He'll come to the ad agency with some asks."

You can stream the first two episodes of The Z-Suite on Tubi now! Check out Lauren Graham's First Instagram Post Is The Perfect Lorelai Gilmore Throwback for more Lauren love!

interviewpop cultureentertainmenttv