I can overthink everything for hours at a time. Instead of thinking about something positive like my weekly glimmers, there's nothing easier for me than turning over what I said, what I didn't say, what I *should* have said. Even though it's such a universal experience, overthinking can make us feel isolated and overwhelmed. That's why I talked to MEDvidi provider Ambrosio J. Romero about why we overthink, how to channel that energy into something positive, and how to stop overthinking altogether.
Why do I overthink so much?
Image via Karolina Grabowska/Pexels
First and foremost, if you're a chronic overthinker, you're not alone. Running over a conversation, first date, or relationship in your mind can have a variety of causes, like anxiety, PTSD, or low self-esteem. "Some people find it difficult to tolerate uncertainty, and try to control things by overthinking them," Romero says. "This can be especially true when there is a lot of ambiguity or unknowns. If you grow up in a household where people were constantly worrying or stressed, we learn to do the same. This becomes a habit that's hard to break."
While it's difficult to unlearn overthinking as a habit, there are ways you can retrain your brain (both your active thoughts and how you process information). I'll admit it's easier said than done, but if you're looking to find some peace in this area, it's worth the hard work! First, it's important to better understand your thought processes. Ask yourself these questions:
1. What triggers your overthinking?: "Once you know what your triggers are, you can start to avoid them or develop coping mechanisms for dealing with them," Romero says.
2. Are your thoughts based on reality, or are you jumping to conclusions or thinking things are worse than they really are?
3. How can you choose to be mindful and pay attention to the present moment without judging it? "This can help you to break the cycle of overthinking and focus on the here and now," Romero says.
4. Are you getting enough sleep? "When you're tired, your brains are more likely to overthink. Make sure you're getting enough sleep each night to help improve your mental clarity."
What triggers overthinking?
Image via jasmin chew/Pexels
While overthinking, and mental health in general, is definitely a case-by-case basis, there are a few common threads between people who overthink, like anxiety, perfectionism, and being easily overwhelmed.
"Perfectionism causes you to have a hard time letting go, even when [something is] good enough. You're constantly worrying about making mistakes or not doing things perfectly," Romero says. "As a result of anxiety, your brains are constantly on high alert, looking for potential threats. This leads to overthinking, as you imagine and try to anticipate and prepare for the worst."
Depression and low self-esteem can also play a factor because they can cause an inability to focus on what's happening IRL, and lead you to think about other things instead. "Traumatized people are more likely to overthink as a way of trying to make sense of [their trauma]," he continues. "And people with low self-esteem may be more likely to overthink because they don't believe in themselves or their ability to handle things. They may also be afraid of failure or rejection."
And just like there are common threads between the people that overthink, the situations we overthink can have common threads as well, whether it be an important decision you have to make ("It's natural to think about all the possible outcomes, both good and bad."), your job performance, health, money, relationships — the list can go on and on.
"If you find yourself overthinking, it's important to identify the triggers and factors that are contributing to it," Romero says. "Once you know what's causing you to overthink, you can start to develop coping mechanisms to help manage it."
Is reading this list a little overwhelming for anyone else? Because it definitely is for me! That's why it's just as important to remember the good things, and to fight those negative rabbit holes your brain always wants to go down, because a lot of overthinking is actually in your control. In those moments you can feel yourself spiraling, reach for your favorite book, go on a walk, recite affirmations to yourself, or even write down a list of what you're grateful for. It's in those moments you're training your brain to not focus on something causing you anxiety.
These habits aren't about toxic positivity, or never allowing yourself to process your true emotions — but when nervous, self-conscious thoughts start interrupting your day-to-day life, it can be helpful to figure out how to take control over them.
Can overthinking be cured?
Image via Valeria Boltneva/Pexels
"When you start to overthink, take a step back and focus on the positive possibilities," Romero says. "What could go right? What are the benefits of this situation? Challenge your negative thoughts. When you have a negative thought, ask yourself if it's really true."
Figuring out what's true and what's not is a huge part in learning how to stop overthinking, especially if a lot of your stress is in your relationships: "Negatively overthinking them can lead to us becoming more and more attached to the fantasy, and less and less satisfied with our real relationships. This can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and emptiness. It can also make it difficult to form healthy relationships in the real world."
If you're constantly getting worked up about crushes, imaginary relationships, or even uncertain friendships, it's important to remember the people, hobbies, or moments that help you feel grounded. That way, you can create a more meaningful real life instead of a dream one.
I know that's so much easier said than done, and when you're in the middle of overthinking, it feels impossible to break the cycle, especially if it translates to physical side effects like irritability, headaches, or stomach aches. Romero recommends channeling that energy into something more positive. "Exercise is a great way to release pent-up energy and reduce anxiety," Romero says. "Go for a walk, run, or do some other form of physical activity you enjoy. Yoga and meditation are both great ways to calm the mind and body."
"Talking to someone about what you're feeling can reduce anxiety," he continues. "I recommend you talk to a friend, family member, therapist, doctor, or counselor."
One of my favorite ways to spend my time when I'm feeling nervous is just sitting down with one of my favorite hobbies. Process your emotions with scrapbooking or bullet journaling, playing the piano, or following some guided journal prompts. "It's important to find what works best for you and to practice these techniques regularly. With time and effort, you can learn to manage your anxiety and re-channel that nervous energy in a positive way," Romero says. But don't be afraid to talk to a professional, like a doctor or a counselor, if you need extra help. "They may be able to help you to develop coping mechanisms and strategies for dealing with anxiety."
"Be patient with yourself," he continues. "It takes time to break the habit of overthinking. Don't expect to see results overnight. Just keep practicing the tips above, and eventually you'll start to see a difference."
Do you have any tips that have helped you figure out how to stop overthinking? Let us know in the comments! If you're in need of additional support, please reach out to a professional, like the counselors at Psychology Today.
Lead image via jasmin chew/Pexels
