How to Survive Thanksgiving With Your Unwoke Relatives

1. Questions To Ask If You're In The 'Honeymoon' Stage

Whenever we finally move from flirting with our crushes to being in a relationship with them, it's typically followed by a period of euphoria. You and your boyfriend likely can't get enough of each other right now which is probably making your friends playfully roll their eyes. Since everything is brand new, you can still keep it light though.

O'Neill suggests asking "open-ending questions that prompt curiosity and connection:"

• What's one dream you've never let me in on?
• What's one little gesture that can make you feel valued?

"These couple of queries facilitate bonding while generating enthusiasm for the goals and interests of each other," he says.

2. Questions To Ask After Your First Big Fight

Even if you and your boyfriend are super tuned in to each other, a disagreement or argument is bound to happen. In case you're worried, your relationship isn't on thin ice because you're not seeing eye-to-eye on something. O'Neill says you can ask:

• How do you think we handled the argument?
• What could we do differently next time to make our future fights more productive?

His reasoning is that these questions "promote growth and empathy" so "disagreements are transformed into stronger communication opportunities."

Note: Disagreements should never turn physical. It's not okay for you and your boyfriend to become physically aggressive with each other. If you're concerned about domestic violence, dial the National Domestic Hotline at 1(800) 799-7233.

3. Questions To Ask Before Introducing Your Boyfriend To Your Parents

Introducing your boyfriend to your parents is a huge step that can be scary and exciting. I was terrified when my parents first met my fiancé because they couldn't stand my ex. But, the conversation between them flowed and everyone always looks for him to be at family events.

If you're ready for introductions to be made, O'Neill wants you to "encourage the normality of preplanned talks" by asking:

• What is something about me that you think my parents would really love to hear about?

By doing this, he says it'll "help alleviate anxiety and ensure both spouses feel comfortable and attuned before meeting the parents."

4. Questions To Ask If You Or Your Boyfriend Have An Illness

It's never easy to experience illnesses or health scares, but it can be terrifying if you don't know how to help your partner manage if something unexpected happens. O'Neill says to "nurture insights with queries such as:"

• What is one thing I could to assist you better when ill?
• Are there any aspects concerning your healthy that haven't been discussed which make you anxious?

"The conversations provide a safe space for airing concerns while building up mutual support through health difficulties," he adds.

5. Questions To Ask If You're Worried About Boyfriend's Spending Habits

Financial red flags are always a cause for concern when dating someone — especially when it seems like your boyfriend doesn't care about his spending habits may affect your household if you live together. O'Neill suggests asking:

• What are your financial goals?
• How do you see us working towards them together?
• How do you feel about budgeting as a team?

This will "make goal alignment stronger" because "effective communication about finances can prevent misunderstandings," he says. Also, this helps "lay the foundation for a shared vision of the future."

6. Questions To Ask To Deepen Vulnerability With Each Other

Being vulnerable isn't easy for everyone, let alone two people in a relationship. It took me years to feel comfortable expressing my sadness or fears to my fiancé because I was afraid he'd think I was 'weak.' However, this can cause more harm than good because it becomes difficult for our partners to know what's going on with us if we don't open up.

O'Neill says you can ask:

• What's one fear or concern you've hesitated to share with anyone before?
• How can I help you feel safe sharing with me?

7. Questions To Help Move The Relationship Forward

If you're still wondering "what are we doing" after asking some of the above questions, you focus on asking the following "future-oriented questions," according to O'Neill:

• Where do you see us in 5 years?
• What's something you envision us doing together as a couple in the future?

1. Long-term goals like marriage aren't often a cause for concern.

Have you ever dated someone that made you wonder what you saw in them once you pay attention to certain red flags? You may have found yourself arguing with them about everything from religion to reproductive health, leaving you feeling dizzy afterwards. But Dr. Keels says compatible couples are more likely to be aligned on "whether they want the same things out of life."

Her examples include:

• Relocating for careers
• Family planning
• Finding somewhere to settle down in general (i.e. apartment, condo, different state, close to family, etc.,)

"This common ground lessens the chance of fighting over these big topics," Dr. Keels reiterates.

2. There's a lesser chance arguments about weekend activities occur.

We're no strangers to indecisive moments where we couldn't agree about what to do on the weekends with our partners, but Dr. Keels says compatible couples don't always run into this issue. "When you enjoy similar activities or have overlapping hobbies, you're more like to find ways to unwind together, rather than feeling disconnected or frustrated by each other's choices," she adds.

While it varies from couple to couple, you and your partner may enjoy the following:

• Buying tickets to watch the latest college basketball or football game
• Going to a 'Paint and Sip' class for fun
• Having a mini outdoor picnic
• Visiting a national park if it's on your couple's bucket list
• Spending a day at a local arcade

The possibilities are endless, but all that matters is that "this mutual understanding makes spending time together feel natural and fun," according to Dr. Keels.

3. Communication styles aren't causing a daily disruption.

Some people have a more direct way of communicating while others may be passive or even passive-aggressive. Less arguments aren't happening because compatible couples communicate the same however. "When they both understand each other's communication style — whether it's direct or more subtle — it helps avoid misunderstandings and frustration."

Here's a couple of examples:

• If you're having a bad day that has nothing to do with your partner, they don't take it personal when you prefer some alone time.
• If your partner says something they perceived to be a joke, but you didn't, you're less likely to immediately accuse them of being insensitive. Instead, there's a higher chance of asking what they mean by something and expressing why you didn't like it instead of arguing.

Compatible couples "know how to express their feelings and needs in a way that the other person can easily understand" which makes "it easier to resolve issues calmly," according to Dr. Keels.

Are couples better (or more compatible) because they don't have a lot of arguments?

Well, no. That's actually a stretch because everyone has arguments. "Even compatible couples can argue about everyday things like chores or schedules. No matter how well they get along or how "in sync" they are, little annoyances can still pop up here and there, and cause some tension between them," Dr. Keels shares. "The difference," she points out, "is that they're usually better at handling these moments and keeping them from turning into bigger problems."

The other thing she's seen couples argue about is money. "It's such a common stress point because everyone has different habits and priorities when it comes to spending or saving," she says. But, guess what? "Compatible couples tend to approach the conversation with more understanding and a willingness to find a compromise," she continues.

If you feel like you and your partner aren't on the same page, it may not be time to break up just yet. We've learned that that it can take time to effectively communicate with a romantic partner or understand them. Compatibility is great, but it's not an indicator that a relationship will be smooth sailing!

How can I have healthier disagreements with my partner?

Like we said, getting to a point where you and your partner aren't consistently hurting each other's feelings during disagreements takes time as well as skill. No one's born knowing all the answers so don't think your relationship is over because you're still figuring things out.

Dr. Keels says one way you and your partner can work on the kind of disagreements you're having is by "knowing how to communicate/compromise." Look, we heard your sigh and know it's probably the antithesis of how you feel. We struggled with compromising, but you don't get far in life thinking that everyone else has to bend to your will all the time.

"Even if they don’t see eye to eye all the time, healthy couples listen to each other's perspectives, and look for solutions that work for both of them. It’s not about 'winning' the argument and getting to say who's right, but finding common ground so they can move forward together," adds Dr. Keels.

Also, "staying respectful event when things get heated or when you're upset" is a way to have a productive arguments, according to Dr. Keels. What happens is that "healthy couples avoid yelling or saying hurting things during disagreements," she says. This means no cursing or raising voices to the point your next door neighbors feel they have to call the police to do a wellness check on you.

"Instead, they just focus on the real problem and stay calm, which helps them work through the issue without hurting each other and the relationship," Dr. Keels says. And in the event you and your partner can't find common ground in a given moment? She highly suggests you "take breaks or pause when things get too heated."

Couples who do this "know when to step away and cool off before continuing the conversation," she adds. There are times where it's difficult to have a proper conversation when you're anxious or angry, so it's always better to revisit the topic.

Dr. Keels agrees and says, "This gives them a chance to cool down first so they can properly think things through, and think of a solution that works for both of them without saying anything they might regret."

1. Set aside time for prayer or meditation when you wake up

Before you reach for your phone to check the news or your social feeds, take a few seconds to let yourself fully wake up. Once you're feeling more present in your body, say a prayer or find a meditation practice to do for 5-10 minutes. It's a great way to ground yourself while lowering your chance of rushing to get everything done before Monday.

2. Indulge in a longer morning routine

You don't have to tell us that you probably speed through your morning routine during the work week so give yourself permission to go a little slower on Sunday. You can soak in a lavender or eucalyptus epsom salt bath, or spend time exfoliating your body while in the shower. You can also use the new face mask you've been meaning to apply to your face!

Other things you can do are light a yummy smelling candle and listen to a soothing music playlist that makes you feel calm. It's our favorite way to create an at-home spa experience!

3. Begin planning your weekly tasks

This doesn't sound like fun, but having a snapshot of what you need to do during the week helps you stay on a track better than winging it. Something is bound to come up that pushes your tasks back, but you won't feel as rattled when your plans are upheaved.

In your physical or digital planner, block out your potential schedule based on tasks you know are more important than others. This will help you get more things done, making work less stressful.

4. Go grocery shopping so you can meal prep

Meal prepping doesn't have to involve an elaborate plan, especially if you don't like to cook. Think about what you generally like to eat during the week. Let's say you usually drink smoothies in the morning, salads for lunch, and a mediterranean bowl for dinner.

You can create a grocery list that mainly involves produce (i.e. romaine lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, peppers, cucumbers, etc.,) and a lean meat or fish. From there, you can find different salad dressings, toppings, or seasonings that'll help you create several meals based on what's in your cart.

5. Tackle your overflowing laundry

You know the pile of clothes and towels you keep walking by, pretending like they're not there? They're going to irritate you during your busy week so start washing them on Sunday. As much as joke about not liking to fold our clothes once they've been washed and dried, it truly feels good not to have more tasks to focus on after a long work day.

6. Plan your OOTDs (even if you WFH)

We're not asking you to become the world's next influencer by suggesting you should plan your OOTDs on Sunday. It's more of a way to help shake off any anxiety or angst during the week. Even wearing a new cozy rib knit set while you work from home can boost your mood, helping you perform much better at work.

And if you want to snap a picture of what you're wearing to share on Instagram, who are we to stop you?

7. Do something just for you

8. Honestly, take a rest day

You could do a ton of planning to make sure you have a productive week or you can use Sunday as 'do-nothing' day. Brit + Co's entertainment editor Chloe Williams says "I use Sunday as a rest day so the most I'll do are the dishes and check if I have extra meetings on Monday."

9. Go to bed earlier than midnight for once

If being a night owl hasn't made you feel any better come Monday morning, it's time for you to get the kind of rest that makes you feel like you were floating on clouds all night.

Meredith Holser, Brit + Co's affiliate writer says she tries to "resist doomscrolling" aside from focusing on self-care activities we mentioned earlier!