The Best Ways to Survive Engagement Season When You’re Single

1. Long-term goals like marriage aren't often a cause for concern.

Have you ever dated someone that made you wonder what you saw in them once you pay attention to certain red flags? You may have found yourself arguing with them about everything from religion to reproductive health, leaving you feeling dizzy afterwards. But Dr. Keels says compatible couples are more likely to be aligned on "whether they want the same things out of life."

Her examples include:

• Relocating for careers
• Family planning
• Finding somewhere to settle down in general (i.e. apartment, condo, different state, close to family, etc.,)

"This common ground lessens the chance of fighting over these big topics," Dr. Keels reiterates.

2. There's a lesser chance arguments about weekend activities occur.

We're no strangers to indecisive moments where we couldn't agree about what to do on the weekends with our partners, but Dr. Keels says compatible couples don't always run into this issue. "When you enjoy similar activities or have overlapping hobbies, you're more like to find ways to unwind together, rather than feeling disconnected or frustrated by each other's choices," she adds.

While it varies from couple to couple, you and your partner may enjoy the following:

• Buying tickets to watch the latest college basketball or football game
• Going to a 'Paint and Sip' class for fun
• Having a mini outdoor picnic
• Visiting a national park if it's on your couple's bucket list
• Spending a day at a local arcade

The possibilities are endless, but all that matters is that "this mutual understanding makes spending time together feel natural and fun," according to Dr. Keels.

3. Communication styles aren't causing a daily disruption.

Some people have a more direct way of communicating while others may be passive or even passive-aggressive. Less arguments aren't happening because compatible couples communicate the same however. "When they both understand each other's communication style — whether it's direct or more subtle — it helps avoid misunderstandings and frustration."

Here's a couple of examples:

• If you're having a bad day that has nothing to do with your partner, they don't take it personal when you prefer some alone time.
• If your partner says something they perceived to be a joke, but you didn't, you're less likely to immediately accuse them of being insensitive. Instead, there's a higher chance of asking what they mean by something and expressing why you didn't like it instead of arguing.

Compatible couples "know how to express their feelings and needs in a way that the other person can easily understand" which makes "it easier to resolve issues calmly," according to Dr. Keels.

Are couples better (or more compatible) because they don't have a lot of arguments?

Well, no. That's actually a stretch because everyone has arguments. "Even compatible couples can argue about everyday things like chores or schedules. No matter how well they get along or how "in sync" they are, little annoyances can still pop up here and there, and cause some tension between them," Dr. Keels shares. "The difference," she points out, "is that they're usually better at handling these moments and keeping them from turning into bigger problems."

The other thing she's seen couples argue about is money. "It's such a common stress point because everyone has different habits and priorities when it comes to spending or saving," she says. But, guess what? "Compatible couples tend to approach the conversation with more understanding and a willingness to find a compromise," she continues.

If you feel like you and your partner aren't on the same page, it may not be time to break up just yet. We've learned that that it can take time to effectively communicate with a romantic partner or understand them. Compatibility is great, but it's not an indicator that a relationship will be smooth sailing!

How can I have healthier disagreements with my partner?

Like we said, getting to a point where you and your partner aren't consistently hurting each other's feelings during disagreements takes time as well as skill. No one's born knowing all the answers so don't think your relationship is over because you're still figuring things out.

Dr. Keels says one way you and your partner can work on the kind of disagreements you're having is by "knowing how to communicate/compromise." Look, we heard your sigh and know it's probably the antithesis of how you feel. We struggled with compromising, but you don't get far in life thinking that everyone else has to bend to your will all the time.

"Even if they don’t see eye to eye all the time, healthy couples listen to each other's perspectives, and look for solutions that work for both of them. It’s not about 'winning' the argument and getting to say who's right, but finding common ground so they can move forward together," adds Dr. Keels.

Also, "staying respectful event when things get heated or when you're upset" is a way to have a productive arguments, according to Dr. Keels. What happens is that "healthy couples avoid yelling or saying hurting things during disagreements," she says. This means no cursing or raising voices to the point your next door neighbors feel they have to call the police to do a wellness check on you.

"Instead, they just focus on the real problem and stay calm, which helps them work through the issue without hurting each other and the relationship," Dr. Keels says. And in the event you and your partner can't find common ground in a given moment? She highly suggests you "take breaks or pause when things get too heated."

Couples who do this "know when to step away and cool off before continuing the conversation," she adds. There are times where it's difficult to have a proper conversation when you're anxious or angry, so it's always better to revisit the topic.

Dr. Keels agrees and says, "This gives them a chance to cool down first so they can properly think things through, and think of a solution that works for both of them without saying anything they might regret."

1. If you don't cook often, surprise your spouse with their favorite dinner recipe.

Saiter says you or your spouse "can make time for small gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness, like cooking" each other's "favorite meal." We don't know everything, but we're aware that home-cooked meals mean a lot to some people. Eating out is fun, but seeing someone put time and effort into a meal for you feels more personal.

2. Allow your partner to sleep in while you handle bank runs, grocery shopping, and other chores.

One of the other ways to each other's heart is "...running errands to show love and appreciation," according to Saiter. This can look like letting your partner rest while you handle early morning visits to the bank or grocery store before traffic picks up on the weekend.

Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating. For instance, taking a class together, whether it’s cooking, dancing, or photography, can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories.

3. Sign up for a dance or photography class together.

If you've been thinking about taking a cooking, wine, dance, or photography class together, now's the time to do so! Saiter says, "Setting aside time for shared hobbies or interests can also be incredibly rejuvenating." Before you roll your eyes because you think you and your spouse don't have anything in common anymore, take a step back to remember what it was like when you were dating.

You probably went on different dates like going to the bowling alley, visiting a pumpkin patch, or even taking a candle class together for fun. Doing this again "can help in discovering new aspects of each other and create fun, shared memories," according to Saiter.

4. Verbally share why you're grateful for each other.

Yes, it's time for you and your spouse to remember why you chose to exchange vows. "...practicing gratitude by regularly expressing appreciation for each other's qualities and contributions can strengthen the emotional bond and bring back the warmth and closeness," Saiter says.

You can tell your partner you appreciate the times they've sensed something was wrong and knew just what to say to cheer you up. Also, you could simply thank them for remembering to take out the trash without you having to ask.

There's no rulebook that says expressing thanks for each other has to be elaborate and drawn out. It's just something to help you remember how much you see each other.

5. Set aside time to hold hands or cuddle everyday.

If you or your spouse are experiencing a drop in your libido, physical intimacy be hard to navigate. Saiter says, "Overcoming a 'dry spell' requires open communication and a willingness to explore underlying issues." As difficult as it may be, don't be afraid to express concerns because "there are many feelings and unsaid wants underneath the 'dry spell,'" he adds.

Doing something as simple as "prioritizing physical, non-sexual touch" is one way way Saiter believes can help you and your spouse become close again. You do things like "holding hands, cuddling, or sharing a long hug," to add a little spark back to what you had.

6. Pencil in date nights.

How many times have your or spouse asked, "Who has time for date night?" Wait, we don't want to know because chances are one of you have said it one too many times to count. Saiter says, "Planning regular date nights or weekends away can also help break the routine and create a sense of adventure in the relationship."

Communicating and being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions, can also reignite the spark and make things exciting again.

You can also try revisiting places or activities that were significant earlier in your relationship to evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection.

7. Let your adventurous side show in the bedroom.

If one of you are comfortable initiating sex again, let your fun side call the shots. However, Saiter wants to make sure you're "communicating" before surprising your spouse. "...being open to trying new things in the bedroom, like role-playing, using toys, or trying new positions" is one of the ways he thinks you can reconnect behind closed doors. It's all about finding safe ways to "reignite the spark and make things exciting again," he shares!

8. Revisit the place you fell in love with your spouse.

If you remember the exact time and place you knew your spouse was the one, Saiter suggests revisiting it to "evoke nostalgic, passionate feelings and remind you both of your deep connection." Whether it was at your local pizza parlor, the park, or even at a place like Disney World, find your why again.

My spouse and I are doing great after incorporating these tips, but how can we stay consistent?

Saiter says, "Life gets busy, but it’s crucial to carve out time for each other. Treat it like any other important appointment—block off time in your schedule for date nights, family dinners, or just time relaxing together." Maybe you think it should sound so simple, but it is. Like Saiter says, you have to prioritize your marriage just like you do everything and everyone else.

Ways to help you do so are limiting "distractions by putting away phones and other devices" to "talk about your dreams, unwind together or simply enjoy each other's company," he adds. Still struggling?

"It might also be helpful to look over your daily responsibilities together to make sure the workload at home is shared fairly. Building a strong and fulfilling relationship takes effort and commitment. By prioritizing your partner, communicating openly, and making time for each other, you can strengthen your bond and reignite the spark," Saiter suggests.

Attend A Silent Disco

A few years ago, just as the sober-curious movement was gaining steam, companies like Daybreaker brought 6 a.m. sober dance parties to the masses. In a similar vein are remote silent discos – events where you put your headphones on and dance it out to the music of world-class DJs right in the comfort of your own home (or in person, if you feel like venturing out).

A quick Google search will reveal that there are tons of options to shake it off on New Year's Eve, whether remotely or in-person in your city. Because silent discos have an alternative vibe, they're much more sober-friendly than traditional clubs and dance parties.

Make A Tea Bar

If you've ever been to a party where they had aProsecco bar or something similar, you know how fun themed bars can be. Why not make a NA equivalent with a tea bar? We're not just talking about hot water and tea bags... include exciting staples like bubble tea, kombucha, Southern-style sweet iced tea, and more!

Do A Goal-Setting Ritual

Not in the mood to party this year? Celebrate the New Year with some introspection by doing a goal-setting ritual. You can design the ritual in whatever manner you like, but we recommend something along the lines of:

• Light a candle and sit quietly for a few minutes.
• Whip out your journal and take inventory of the last year: What were your best memories? What are you grateful for? Where do you think you could've improved?
• In your journal (we have some killer prompts to start you off), mindfully list out your goals for 2025. They don't have to be New Year's resolutions, exactly, but include small steps you can take in the new year to help you achieve your goals!

Make A 2025 Scrapbook

Before New Year's Eve, head to your local craft store and pick up some supplies for making an old-fashioned scrapbook. Print out some photos from your most treasured memories of the year (we like printing with Walgreens), and gather any magazines you purchased or journal entries you wrote.

You can also look up some news headlines that made an impact on you, and print out the article as well as photos of any notable celebs or politicians who made the news. On New Year's eve, put together a scrapbook of what made 2024, 2024.

Good, bad, or otherwise, the year was one to remember — so create a momento that will help you re-live the past year in the years to come.

Plan A Costume Party

Believe it or not, masquerade balls, dressing up in costumes, and concealing one's identity have a long history in the historical celebrations of Christmastime. So we think a New Year's costume party is a fully appropriate idea for a sober New Year's Eve.

Who needs booze to have fun when you can dress up as whoever you want for a night of merriment and mystery?

Karaoke It Up

Another fun party pastime that's fun with or without booze? Singing! Grab some friends for a sober karaoke night either at your house or a private karaoke room. The singing's bound to be better than it would be if you were imbibing... who knows, maybe you'll steal the show with your rendition of "I'm Just Ken."

Cook A Fancy Meal

Whether you're spending the evening with your S/O or your BFF, cook a fancydinner for two. New Year's Eve is the perfect time to get fancy with food, so use this opportunity to ring in 2025 with only the finest cuisine. Don't forget to make a mocktail to go with!

Host A Game Night

Bring all your besties over and host a board game night that's sure to be one for the books. Have everyone bring their favorite game – from Cards Against Humanity to Codenames – for a riotous evening that will remind you that you absolutely don't need booze to have a rowdy night of laughter!

Play 2024 Trivia

Before New Year's Eve, compile a long list of trivia questions about 2024. Alternatively, have a friend do it for you, or do a quick Google search... there are a lot of trivia quizzes out there. On the big night, gather your squad together to see how much you remember about 2024. The results may surprise you!

Host A Murder-Mystery Dinner

Murder-mystery dinners are still one of the best ways to facilitate a heart-racing and mind-boggling party. Pick up one of the many murder mystery dinner kits out there and have your besties over for a night of thinking on your toes — to be fair, it's probably best to skip the booze for this idea anyway, for the sake of your mental acuity.