How to Have a Real Money Talk With Your Significant Other

1. Not everyone's parents can put them through college. 

"My parents are wealthy, but I grew up in a place where many of my peers' parents were super, duper, crazy wealthy, so I had a skewed understanding of wealth," shared one user.

"It was really eye-opening for me when I went to college. I didn't have to take out student loans; my parents were able to just pay for it. But I had friends who, even with financial aid, had to work their [behinds] off year-round to cover the cost of school. I realized pretty quickly just how privileged I was and that I did, in fact, grow up with wealth."

2. Country clubs aren't the only kind of "clubs" out there. 

"When I was confused about people on Maury complaining their spouse was at 'the club,' and I couldn't figure out what type of country club would let people like that through the front security gate," admitted another user.

3. Not everyone views their parents as good role models. 

"Becoming an adult and realizing that I have extremely good role models as parents because when they have disagreements, they talk them out, and I have never, ever, heard them argue or badmouth each other," one user revealed.

"I also realized that as a kid, my parents got me mental health help that I needed even though it was expensive and continued that care for as long as I have needed it," they added.

"A third [wake-up call] that doesn't seem like much but has had a huge impact was being taught financial literacy from a young age; to budget my money and only buy the things I really, really want."

4. Many people have never left the country.  

"My parents loved to travel. By the time I was 16, I had been to every continent aside from Antarctica. I didn't realize that this was privileged behavior until I went to university, and most of the guys I met had never left the country," a user shared.

"In fact, I grew up thinking I was less privileged because everyone at my school was just obscenely rich. Like, all their stuff was high-end designer stuff while I was in Converse."

5. Some families cannot afford to have pets. 

"My dad was an engineer, so professional wealth, but... probably hearing about a kid whose family had to give his dog away due to the cost in elementary school," another user remembered.

"Giving away our dog wasn't on the radar or even on the table. But it was only out of the question because my parents had the money for it to be out of the question."

6. Owning multiple properties is not the norm. 

"When I learned that not everyone has a summer cottage or trust fund, and not all grandparents have weekend and summer homes," a user noted.

7. Exposure to cultural education isn't a given. 

"I didn't think I grew up in a wealthy family, but when I started high school, I was part of a group of girls who became close friends with me. Apparently, they thought it was very weird that I knew things that I considered cultural knowledge, like the history of some important building in the city or the fact that I actually knew about art and went to museums quite often," detailed a user.

"All this because my parents made me go to museums and theaters my whole life growing up. Apparently, that's not a normal thing for normal parents to do with their kids, and asking your parents if they can take you to the ballet is not something a teenager would normally ask."

8. Some people have never been able to fill up their tanks at the gas station. 

"In college, I went on a road trip with friends, and one asked how much money he should put in the gas tank. I told him to fill it up," recalled a user.

"He kept asking, 'Okay, how much should I pay?' and I kept saying, 'Fill it up!' It turned out he had only ever put $10 to $15 at a time, and it had never occurred to me that some people never fill their gas tanks to the top."

9. Seeing how families abroad make do.

"I realized how privileged I was when I spent a summer with my great-grandmother in a small village in rural Hungary. No indoor running water, the only phone was at the church, and everyone came out to touch the rental car we drove there in. This was in the late 1980s," recalled a user.

10. Learning that not everyone takes their first flight as a child.

"I have been flying around the world since I was 4 months old. When I was 16, my friend told me she'd fly for the first time in an airplane, and I was shocked," said another user.

"I told my dad that I couldn't believe it took her 16 years to fly! I got a stern talk after; my dad is very humble despite it all."

1. Not automating your savings

When's the last time you actually put money in savings when you said you would? Let me guess: it went towards your fave Chick-Fil-A meal or the Valentine's Day decor you couldn't resist buying. This is a judge-free zone, so I'm not here to make you feel bad, but sometimes our best efforts to save money fall flat. Yet have no fear because there's a solution that stems from something you've been overlooking.

"One of the most common money mistakes is not automating your savings. If you’ve ever gotten to the end of the month and felt guilty because you didn’t save any money (or as much as you hoped), this is one thing you can do to help yourself out," says Dunlap. According to her, this looks like you taking the time to "set up an automated transfer from your checking to your savings, at least once a month." You could "set up the transfer on the first day of the month, maybe on the first and half-way through the month, whatever works for you."

But don't worry about getting things "wrong" because Dunlap doesn't think the amount you transfer has "to be a lot" because "even $20 means we're choosing progress." In her opinion, the very act of automating your savings means "you're doing the hard thing first!"

2. Overlooking high yield savings accounts

In addition to having an automated savings transfer, it also matters what kind of account you're putting your money into. I'm 100% guilty of going beyond a basic savings account as a broke college student because I was terrified I wouldn't understand the terms of what I was doing. Apparently I'm not the only one because Dunlap says we tend to overlook "ensuring that savings money is going into a high yield savings account. But, what is it?

"This is just like a normal savings account, but it’s going to earn you WAY more in interest. Basically, your savings are going to make you more savings," she shares. If you're scratching your head and need more information, we've got your back! Basically, "this is going to be the perfect account to keep your emergency fund in," according to Dunlap.

Instead of being limited to when you can access your funds (like a certificate of deposit or CD), she says "you can take your money out at any time, your money is insured," and "the partner" she and her team "recommend" doesn't have "fees" or "minimums." However, she warns "terms always apply, so check with your bank" before making a hasty decision.

3. Treating your retirement account as an investment

Full transparency moment: I didn't start paying attention to my retirement account until I left my prior job and had to roll the funds over. Even then, I thought I didn't have to focus on investments because I was sure my new IRA covered all the bases. Wrong! "...one of the biggest financial mistakes is believing the misconception that a retirement account itself is an investment–your IRA is not the investment, it's an account that HOLDS your investments," stresses Dunlap.

Her advice? "Don't just put money into a Roth without actually investing it. It’s a two-step process: make sure you transfer money into your account, and then buy investments with that money."

4. Going into debt to enjoy yourself

I fear little treat culturesunk its teeth in us and hasn't let go. I'm a recovering shopaholic who puts things in my cart and empties it if I ever feel the urge to do some unhinged damage to my debit card. Still, there are other people who are still in the trenches of living a FOMO-life.

"We know Millennials and Gen Z-ers are more likely to splurge or go into debt for travel, events and entertainment than their generational counterparts–there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun money (plus, I don’t blame them after the pandemic), but we want to make sure we’re not going into debt or dipping into an emergency fund to make it happen," says Dunlap.

If there's something you really want to do, back away from the credit card and listen to Dunlap's suggestions first. She says, "For something like a big trip or a concert, I would suggest starting a sinking fund or a dedicated high-yield savings account. That way, you know you’ve saved that money for the exact purpose you’re using it for, and you get to protect your emergency fund and credit cards in the process."

5. Waiting too long to start a retirement fund

Be honest: do you have a retirement fund? If your answer is no, Dunlap is ready to have a heart-to-heart with you. "In addition to not investing, I see a lot of women waiting too long to start preparing for retirement," she says. It's so easy for Millennials and Gen Z to think our elderly years are far away, but that doesn't mean we can't start planning for them now.

Also, saving or investing your money while you have debt isn't a sign of irresponsibility. Dunlap says, "You may have heard that all of your debt needs to be gone before you start investing–sure, some of your debt needs to be gone." Of course she'd like to see "your high cost debt like credit card debt" lowered as much "as possible before you prioritize investing," but she doesn't want you to "wait too long to start investing because" you think your "other finances aren't perfect," you're clueless about next steps, or think you "need a billion dollars to get started."

All you have to do is try. "...you’ve got to start somewhere, and something is better than nothing," adds Dunlap.

6. Bypassing investing because you have limited information

Financial literacy is important, but you're not incompetent because you have limited information about investing. Dunlaps says she sees "people believing the misconception that investing means you’re just selecting individual stocks and taking a gamble on them." Though she agrees it's "an option," she wants you to realize it's "not the only one." So, what to do?

"You can also consider investing in index funds. Essentially, this is a group of companies or groups of stocks. So rather than putting all of your eggs in one basket, you’re putting your money towards something more diversified and low-risk, that’s going to be less of a gamble long-term," suggests Dunlap.It's actually something she likes and teaches about in Stock Market School. "...index funds made me a millionaire," she offers.

BRB, going to sign up so I can get my finances together once and for all.

7. Shying away from budgeting because you don't want to be restricted

Friends, we can't keep running away from the "budgeting" word. It hasn't helped us, especially if we've been crying about sneaky expenses that are doing a number on our accounts. There's a reason we keep running from it though.

"A lot of us associate a budget with restriction–the idea that in order to save money, you have to restrict yourself and keep a tighter budget. But if you treat money like a diet, it will inevitably fail," Dunlap points out. Here's a secret she wants you to know: "It’s not your fault that you’re not sticking to your budget, it’s just psychology! If you tell me I can’t have fried chicken, all I’m going to do is want fried chicken. Psychology."

Her point is that "a super restrictive budget just doesn’t work, it's not sustainable" because "your budget shouldn’t stop you from doing things." Instead, she feels "it should be the thing that allows you to do things comfortably." You know like buying those new pair of shoes without calculating if you're going to forfeit part of your cell phone bill.

Dunlap further says, "I’m not going to tell you to stop spending money, because that’s not the solution. I am just going to tell you to stop spending money on things you don’t care about." Her number one suggestion for "helping your budget" is to "establish 3 areas of your life where you get the most joy (ex. eating out, traveling, nesting)."

"When you review your budget, these are going to be the 3 areas you make sure your spending is in line with," she also says.

8. Pretending your debt doesn't exist

How many of us are guilty of ignoring the credit card bill until we get our statement? According to Dunlap, that's a terrible idea. "The first thing is to make sure you know your numbers, and aren’t running from them–the only way to take control of your debt is by avoiding what’s called the Ostrich Effect.

This is when you avoid addressing and accessing a situation because you’re afraid of what you’ll find," she says. Wondering who the ostrich is in this situation? You are because you're keeping your "head in the sand." However, it's "so common when it comes to debt, but conquering it is the first step to making progress."

Next up? Get familiar with "tackling debt" by "building an emergency fund — regardless of how much debt you're in," says Dunlap. Even if things feel like they're going really well, she knows "life is inevitably going to throw you a few curve balls." Here's looking at you unexpected car crash that totaled my car last year.

"If you're not prepared for emergencies, you still need to find a way to navigate them–whether that’s dipping into your savings, using credit cards, or asking family and friends for help. We don’t want you to have to do that–we want you to have an emergency fund that you can use," she says. It "safeguards you from going into more debt in an already stressful situation," according to her.

After you've started building a nice emergency fund, she can't wait for you to use her "favorite debt handling method" called "the Debt Avalanche."

1. Write down all of your debts, listing them from highest interest rate to lowest, and how much the minimum payment is on each.
2. Calculate your total minimum payments to give you an idea of how much you need to pay every month to keep current.
3. Start paying extra on the credit line with the highest interest rate. Keep paying the minimums on the rest. This process works best when you focus on one bill at a time.
4. Once you’ve paid off the debt with the highest interest rate, move down the list to the next one and start paying whatever extra you can towards it each month.

Again, Dunlap doesn't want you to feel like you have to have a fail-proof system in place. "Start where you’re at — you’ll be amazed how fast that debt will start disappearing even with just an extra $15 – $20 a month."

Noted! How can I create attainable financial goals this year?

Now that you're ready to stop making financial mistakes, you can start thinking about your overall money goals for the year. Dunlap says, "One thing you can do to make your goals automatically more achievable is attach them to a mission. It’s one thing to give it a deadline and make it specific, but thinking about what achieving it actually means to you is going to drive you to accomplish it a little more."

An example she gives is you saying "'I will save my first $100K (specific) by the end of 2026 (timely)'," but she asks, "what does that mean to you, what does it get you? Why is important?"

Per her suggestion, "add your answer as a part of your goal statement." She says you could write something like "'because I want to have enough money to quit my toxic job (mission-driven).'"

Doing this "makes accomplishing your goal about more than the money, and reminds you why you're doing it in the first place," she says as her final piece of guidance.

Chickpea Curry

This flavorful curry recipe loads up on lots of chickpeas to better suit the blue zone diet. Swap the basmati for brown rice, and you'll be set! (via Heyday Beans for Brit + Co)

Niçoise Salad

This dish is packed with so much goodness. From the bed of greens to the heart veggie toppings like olives, tomatoes, green beans, onion, and more, each bite is different from the next, which makes mealtime (especially with the blue zone diet) fun! (via Brit + Co)

Hummus + Veggies

Hummus is super easy to make at home, and it'd guaranteed to be healthy when you know exactly what you're putting into it. This recipe features a nice amount of lemon juice for taste and freshness. Serve with lotsa veg, as per the blue zone diet. (via Brit + Co)

Spring Mix Salad + Lemon Tofu

Salads make some of the best blue zone diet recipes (remember that 95% plant-based rule?), but just because they're salads doesn't mean they have to be boring. This one earns some good zest from baked tofu, homemade dressing, and crunchy veggies. (via Two Spoons for Brit + Co)

Zucchini Fries

These veggie-laden fries actually taste like what you'd get in the drive-thru. So, if you're searching for blue zone diet recipes that'll fulfill your fast food cravings, this is it. Serve with a homemade sauce to amp up the vibes. (via Brit + Co)

Greek Cucumber Salad

Greek and Mediterranean food often qualify for the diet since they're fresh and full of healthy goods. This Greek salad combines juicy cukes, tomatoes, onions, and chickpeas for a refreshing blue zone bite. (via The Real Food Dietitians)

Oyster Mushroom Shawarma

Since blue zone diet recipes tend to limit actual meat, it's crucial to find ones that emulate the meaty, smoky flavors of the chicken, beef, and fish you might be missing. In this dish, oyster mushrooms form a very complex forkful with the help of a homemade marinade. (via The Edgy Veg)

Beetroot Dip

Beets are one of the top veggies to eat on the blue zone diet, and this dip is probably one of the coolest ways you can prepare them. This recipe earns extra points for including pine nuts and/or pistachios! (via Give Recipe)

Cornmeal Waffles

Blue zone breakfasts can range from granolas to fruit salads, but these waffles look like the tastiest option out there. Wheat flour and cornmeal make up the thick batter for a filling morning meal. (via Blue Zones)

Couscous Salad

Grains are golden in this diet. Follow this recipe that creates a heavenly blend of couscous and veggies! This would be an excellent option to meal prep so you don't have to worry about cooking down the line. (via Crowded Kitchen)

Three Bean Chili

Beans always win for the blue zone diet! This hearty bowl of chili leverages three different kinds to fill you up and fulfill all your comfort food cravings. (via Earthly Provisions)

Sweet Potato Kale Salad

Dark, leafy greens are preferred over lighter ones for the diet because they usually hold more nutritional value. That's why this kale salad is a perfect blue zone diet recipe! (via Half Baked Harvest)

Asian Stir Fry Noodles

This quick dinner doesn't skimp on flavor. You'll fall instantly in love with the blend of ginger, garlic, and sesame oil for the sauce that drowns these rice noodles. (via Blue Zones)

Almond Hemp Granola

This nutty granola is the ultimate addition to breakfast time yogurt bowls. (via A Virtual Vegan)

Roasted Squash

Virtually any vegetable is roast-able and fitting for the blue zone diet, but delicata squash is great for when you just want something a lil' different. (via Hello Little Home)

Citrus Carrot Ginger Smoothie

Wether it's for breakfast or a mid-day snack, this hydrating smoothie will never leave you unsatisfied. (via Vanilla and Bean)

Herby Whipped White Beans with Smoky Mushrooms

This share-worthy recipe expertly disguises white beans in the form of an herby dip topped with grilled 'shrooms. To make it more filling, use toasted whole grain bread as your dipping vehicle! (via The First Mess)

Sweet Potato + Black Bean Burgers

Sweet potatoes and beans are some of the most recommended ingredients for blue zone diet recipes. In this meal, they team up with some oats and other crucial elements to form some super healthy burger patties. (via Blue Zones)

Roasted Cauliflower Hummus

Again, dips shine! This hummus is packed with veg – though you wouldn't know it if you didn't make it. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Warm Brussels Sprouts Salad

Shaved Brussels sprouts are the star of this warm salad. Top things off with pickled onions and plenty of nuts for added deliciousness! (via Blue Zones)