A Conflict Expert Weighs in on How to Talk to the Other Side of a Debate

Nov 18, 2016

It’s been more than a week since America learned that Donald Trump would be our new President-Elect, but for many, the debates are just beginning. For starters, Californians are now calling to secede from the US and join Canada, Twitter is banning alt-right accounts and birth control wars are in full-swing (are you part of the #ThxBirthControl movement?) — yikes!

With a nation split right down the middle (or, at least the half that voted!) with regard to their chosen political champions, we find ourselves in a unique position. How do we talk to one another when our views are so radically different? Is it even worth trying? Can we really come to a consensus with our own friends and family members if they support ideas that violate our beliefs to the very core and/or vice versa?

As a litigator and conflict resolution expert in LA, Larry Slade sees this type of conflict almost every day. He points out that while current political debates may be making us uncomfortable, they’re doing so because, for the most part, we’re not used to this much conflict in our lives, and that’s a good thing: It means we’re largely harmonious.

Larry, on the other hand, is embroiled in lawsuits and arguments between clients on the reg. “We walk that walk every day,” he says. The difference? “We’re trained not to take it personally.”

Here, he offers us tips on how to do the same, with a list of Dos and Don’ts for when it comes to communicating with a member of an opposing party (or simply someone with an opposing viewpoint). Read on for his expert insight below!

DO: LISTEN

Larry says the number one no-no when communicating with someone with a different viewpoint from your own is “contemplating your response to a point while someone else is making it instead of listening. “[We’re] talking at and through and over each other,” he explains. Maybe that’s because, as Larry puts it, instead of treating political debates like a discussion, they’re often seen as a combat; one with a clear winner and a clear loser. But in reality, “That’s not how it is,” he says. “Two people enter, and two people leave angry.”

Instead, Larry says we’d be well-suited to look at our challengers as human beings rather than opponents. “[This] human being arrived at their position through experiences and perceptions that [you] might not understand about them,” he tells us. “Walk a mile in their shoes:” a concept he says is all too often abandoned in today’s society.

DON’T: DELETE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAM FROM SOCIAL MEDIA

We get it: When someone says something that totally irks you, your first instinct might be to just go ahead and click that little “unfriend” button. Without your antagonist there to provoke you, there’s nothing to argue about, and that’s really a positive, right? Wrong, says Larry. While it might feel good in the moment and make you more comfortable in the short run, you’re ultimately not doing yourself any favors. After all, how can we grow and learn from others if we’re only willing to hear our own viewpoints reflected back at us? “It is more emotionally comfortable to have a Facebook feed that has comments and features consistent with [our own] hidden biases,” he says. “It bolsters [people and] further supports their point of view.” The same goes for news articles. “[If] people see an article that confirms their bias, [they] automatically assume it’s true, and vice versa,” he says. “If you see an article that opposes [it, you] automatically think it’s untrue.”

But that doesn’t make it so. Just like stepping outside your own neighborhood to explore a new area can yield the most charming little hidden restaurant or coffee shop, exposing yourself to other viewpoints — even those you don’t agree with — can actually expand your mind, if you’re willing to do the work. “In order to be able to not respond by deleting or shutting people out, you have to be willing to be a little uncomfortable,” Larry says, noting that “It requires you do more homework. [It takes] time and effort and a lot of people don’t want to expend it,” he adds.

While there are always exceptions to the rule, Larry says that even in more extreme cases, when someone’s post or comment goes against your values or offends you on a deep or moral level, there are other ways to keep the peace. “You don’t have to delete them.” Instead, he recommends hiding their posts if you believe their point of view will interfere with your relationship.

DO: RESPECTFULLY SHARE YOUR OPINIONS

While some might be tempted to clam up and say nothing to avoid a conflict, Larry says to put that old adage, which says not to discuss money, politics or religion, to rest and go for it — if you can do so in a respectful manner. “I’m not sure that I’m always right,” Larry says. “I want to hear someone else’s perspective.”

Besides, “If you take those issues off the table, what’s left? Much more mundane subjects,” he says. “It’s not really the food that sustains us.” As a conflict resolution expert, small talk, like the weather and such, is not something Larry particularly recommends or advocates for in general. “It doesn’t further anyone else’s understanding.”

Instead, speak up if you see someone you know saying something offensive. “If you know them, and their comment surprises you, engage [them]. They may know something you don’t know. I think it’s good if it’s done respectfully. If you can agree to disagree, then engage in respectful discussion.”

DON’T: CONTINUE TO ENGAGE IN NON-CONSTRUCTIVE DEBATES

On the other hand, there are some fights that really aren’t worth the battle: particularly those that are becoming personal. “People have a tendency to attack their opponent,” Larry says. If you can’t refrain from make reductive statements about someone’s character (“You’re a jerk, you’re an idiot, you’re a racist/bigot/misogynist”), you’re better off bowing out. “The reality is, a lot of this stuff takes place in gray areas. There’s not an easy answer to it,” he explains. “Trying to reduce the other side to black and white is very destructive and doesn’t help the people engaged. It doesn’t shed any light on the subject.”

It also might be better to let it go when it’s becoming clear that neither party is willing to budge. “[We] all have different realities… they color the lenses through which we see the world,” Larry says. “You can’t wave your hand and change [someone else’s] lenses.” If someone is staying rooted in an opinion you disagree with, “there’s not much you can do [but] continue to be understanding and seek to be understood.” Or, change the subject!

DO: FOCUS ON THE SIMILARITIES INSTEAD OF THE DIFFERENCES

At the end of the day, you’re likely acquainted with the person you’re fighting with for a reason, so it’s helpful to remember what bonded you in the first place. “The reason we’re conversing [is that there is some] pre-existing connection,” Larry points out. “Now there’s something that’s pulling that connection apart.”

Instead of allowing an issue to do just that, he recommends focusing on our shared goals rather than nitty gritty details. “Focus on the outcome of a resolution as opposed to the mechanics of it,” he suggests, giving issues shared as an example. Maybe you dislike Trump while your friend supports him, but you’re both for a reformed healthcare plan. Now you’ve changed “what pulls you apart to what binds you together.”

DON’T: FORGET TO TAKE A BREAK

While it’s great that you’re passionate about your point of view, Larry says there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. “I think that everyone has a different level of stamina when it comes to disagreement,” he shares. “There’s a certain point in time when conflict becomes detrimental to you.” Whether it be mentally, emotionally or even eventually physically, it hits those who aren’t used to conflict particularly hard. “It’s very disquieting,” he says, adding that the extra weight of it all can easily cause you to lose sleep, overeat and stress, all of which could be bad news bears when it comes to your health.

At the end of the day? “Sometimes you need to just put it down,” he says. “Turn off Fox News or MSNBC.”

Amen to that!

What do you think of Larry’s tips? Share with us @BritandCo.

(Photos via Getty)

70 Halloween Makeup Ideas To Try This Year

ICYMI, we live for Halloween. All year we look forward to pumpkin decorating, costume DIYing, and trick-or-treating. But, most of all, we’re always on the hunt for unique and innovative ideas to slay our favorite October holiday. Lucky for us, sometimes all we need is playfully dramatic Halloween makeup to really pull a look together. Scroll on for 70 of our favorite original Halloween makeup ideas — ranging from easy-to-achieve to jaw-droppingly advanced — and prepare to take your disguise to the next post-worthy level.

Brit + Co

Pop Art Makeup

Channel your inner Warhol with a creative take on an iconic art movement. (via Brit + Co)

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift/Instagram

The only thing you REALLY need to dress like our favorite popstar is bright red lipstick and bangs, if you're feeling adventurous. Sounds good to us.

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Harley Quinn

She may have been corrupted by the Joker, but Harley is still H-O-T. (via Brit + Co)

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Bowie Emojis

Pair an Aladdin Sane lightning bolt with your own karaoke version of “Ziggy Stardust” for a Halloween costume that’s sure to turn heads. (via Brit + Co)

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Jungle Cat

Definitely not for the intro level makeup artist, but major makeup #goals. RAWRR. (via Brit + Co)

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Wonder Woman

It’s your turn to become the feminist-friendly box-office sensation that we all need. (via Brit + Co)

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Flamingo

Halloween is truly the best time to let your inner bird shine. (via Brit + Co)

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Rebecca Ravee Norris on Instagram: "❤️ Thanks, Obama. Truly 💙⠀ ________________________________________________________#thanksobama #obamafarewell #obamabiden #goat #inauguration #whitehouse #obamaout #micdrop #mua #handpainted #painter #facepaint #wolfefx #wolfe #mehron #redhead #coloredcontacts #hope #iconic #payhomage #yeswecan #endofanera #washington #washingtondc #shepardfairey #motd #mood"

Shepard Fairey Painting

A tribute to Obama is always worthwhile in our book, especially when it’s this creative.

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Jem

Clearly, we are as obsessed with ’80s cartoon characters as we are with Halloween makeup. Light pink hair, a simple star, and a bold pink pout will bring your Jem look to life. (via Brit + Co)

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Chill

Go crazy with all the blues to nail the icy half of everyone’s favorite Netflix and chill costume. (via Brit + Co)

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Madame D from Grand Budapest Hotel

Even though Madame D isn’t in the film for long, we quickly fell in love with her — especially her style. This elderly makeup look may seem tricky, but you can totally handle it! (via Brit + Co)

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Jellyfish

Not only will you look like one of the most magical sea creatures to exist, but you’ll be protected from the rain if the sky decides to open up too. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Witch Makeup For Halloween

The OG Halloween costume. Use a little green face paint accented with mossy contouring and a purple lip to get witchy with it in no time. Bonus points if you wear it to see the Wicked movie too ;) (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Half Sugar Skull

Go halfsies on your DIY sugar skull so you don’t have to worry about keeping it symmetrical. Add your favorite lip color and a creative costume for a memorable look. (via Brit + Co)

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Robot

You don’t have to wear a spooky costume for Halloween shenanigans; there are getups that can be pretty and a little creepy, too. Take this colorful robot, for example. It blends equal parts artsy beauty with the futuristic fierceness that is sure to get the party talking. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Clown Makeup

A creepy clown has always been a go-to Halloween costume, but this year, why not put a creative, colorful spin on it? Featuring pops of bright blue, lime green, and hot pink, makeup artist Fernanda Machado’s original creation achieves those spooky, artistic vibes you’re longing to channel. (via Brit + Co)

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

They fight crime. They eat pizza. They’re named after Italian Renaissance artists. They’re Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! And, let’s face it, they’re the coolest reptile warriors in town. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Zombie Makeup

As much as we love channeling our inner Wonder Woman, pulling off a slightly gorier zombie costume presents the Halloween makeup challenge we crave. Here we’ve created an approachable zombie makeup tutorial so you can still feel like a babe while staying true to the holiday’s spooky vibe. (via Brit + Co)

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Creepy Clown

No matter if you’re going as a clown or as a mime, this kinda creepy, kinda cute look will achieve all of your Halloween dreams. (via Brit + Co)

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Rebecca Ravee Norris on Instagram: "True colors always reveal themselves 🎨 ________________________________________________________#painting #facepaint #mehron #wolfefx #melting #motd #mood #truecolors #trippy #mellow #artsy #blueeyes #coloredcontacts #faceart #goodvibesonly #messybun #rainbow #mua"

True Colors

Show us what you got with this playful, technicolor makeup DIY that’s definitely open to interpretation.

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Cassie Howard from Euphoria

This is one Halloween makeup look you can wear even after Halloween's over. Check out our Euphoria makeup tutorials for more inspo, or create your own eye makeup look. Whatever you do, don't forget the rhinestones! (via Brit + Co)

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Kristen 🌈 INFLUENCER MENTOR✨ on Instagram: "Happy Halloweekend 😝🎃💀"

Rainbow Skull

Brighten up an otherwise dark and spooky look with not one, but all the colors of the rainbow.

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Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy

A makeup sponge is key when creating this simple mean green look. (via Brit + Co)

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Gorgeous Ghost

Swap the normal ghost sheet for a makeup look that everyone will love. Or wear this as Narnia's White Witch! (via Brit + Co)

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Kristen 🌈 INFLUENCER MENTOR✨ on Instagram: "🍦TRICK OR TREAT🍦 Melting: MAKE UP FOR EVER Flash Palette Brows: Benefit Brow Pencil in #3 Eyes/Shadows: Anastasia Modern Renaissance Palette Mascara: Stila Huge Mascara Lipstick: Dose of Colors Cha Cha Pink Highlight: Anastasia Beverly Hills Moonchild Palette (Pink) Foundation: Urban Decay All Nighter Foundation Real sprinkles glued with eyelash glue 😝"

Trick-or-Treat

We’ll always take some sweets on Halloween — especially when they’re in the form of colorful makeup.

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Queen of Hearts

Are Tim Burton fans attending your bash? Then they’ll definitely approve of this look. After all, why not be a queen for Halloween? (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy

This raccoon look is pretty dang convincing. Even if you opt for the store-bought costume, this makeup adds that homemade touch we live for. (via Brit + Co)

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Millennial Pink

We’re getting Zenon vibes with plenty of sparkly, metallic makeup to match. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Modern Vampire Makeup

Fangs will forever be in fashion. But that doesn’t mean you have to have blood dripping down your chin to let people know what you are. You’re a classy vampire. (via Brit + Co)

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Skeleton Makeup from “David S. Pumpkins”

If you’ve yet to see SNL‘s skit, then TBH, that needs to be the first item on your checklist. Recreate this extremely goofy twist on the traditional Halloween character for guaranteed all-night laughs. (via Brit + Co)

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Rebecca Ravee Norris on Instagram: "To the person I'd be lost without: 28 looks good on you 😍Thank you for letting me paint you tonight, sees🎨I hope you have the best day (and greatest year) yet😘Love you, need you, never ever leave you💕 ________________________________________________________#mua #makeupartist #makeup #facepaint #facepainting #painter #handpainted #makeupbyme #motd #avantgarde #mehron #wolfefx #popartzombie #skullmakeup #coloredcontacts #makeuplover #happybirthday #bff"

Pop Art Zombie

We live for out-of-the-box zombie looks, and it’s fair to say that this show-stopping peekaboo number hits the mark.

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Bombshell Skeleton

Hoping to harness a spooky mood that doesn’t sacrifice style? Look no further than this glam take on the undead. (via Brit + Co)

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Zoya the Destroya and Liberty Belle from GLOW

Contouring is key when it comes to creating these wrestler babes’ game faces. Who will win: Zoya or Liberty Belle? (via Brit + Co)

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Fairy

This costume at its core is really simple to make, but adding makeup and hair accents will take it from makeshift to masterpiece. (via Brit + Co)

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Started from the Bottom Ilana from Broad City

Possibly one of the most epic episode intros of all time, season one’s “Apartment Hunters” begins with a music video short where Ilana looks like an absolute kween. (via Brit + Co)

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Olivia Rodrigo Sour Album Cover

All you need for for a Sour Halloween makeup look is your go-to makeup routine and some stickers from the craft store, and voilà! (via Brit + Co)

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Woodland Fairy

Minus the butterfly lashes, we would wear this look to a festival. All right, you got us. We’d wear the lashes too. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Wisdom Teeth Abbi from Broad City

Season two’s “Wisdom Teeth” episode is arguably one of the best ever. After Abbi gets her wisdom teeth pulled, she takes too much pain medication combined with a ganja-infused smoothie and passes out. Ilana then decides to paint her face with makeup while feeling particularly lit. This is THAT look. LOL. (via Brit + Co)

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Snapchat Puppy

The trick here is to take a screenshot of yourself in the makeup filter of your choice and then use that as your makeup inspiration photo. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Hocus Pocus Witch Makeup

Who's more iconic than the Sanderson sisters? Those lips, tho. (via Brit + Co)

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Dinosaur

Any makeup look that calls for finishing touches of glitter, wins. Tap it on anywhere that your little dino heart desires! (via Brit + Co)

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Snapchat Flower Crown Filter

Highlight heavily and contour softly to recreate this popular floral filter. Pro tip: wear lavender or gray contacts to complete the lewk. (via Brit + Co)

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Anna from Frozen

Begin by following this tutorial to get your base makeup for this look. For your bronzer, apply in a more circular motion to create her doll-like facial structure. Keep your blush bright pink but blend just on the apples of your cheeks. (via Brit + Co)

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Jailbird

Simple tutorial alert! We used the Cat Eye Kit to create these fierce, winged eyes. Continue the eyeliner line down the nose to make a bird beak. (via Brit + Co)

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Dalmation

Whether you’re one of 101 or just a solo, spotted pooch this Halloween, you only need to use black and white face paint to create a doggone (get it?) adorable look. (via Brit + Co)

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Rainbow

This is actually really simple to recreate — all you need are rainbow cream colors and a small paintbrush or makeup brush to apply them with. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Doll Face

Creepy meets pretty in this eerie Halloween beauty look. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Scarecrow

There’s nothing wrong with keeping it classic for Halloween. Amp up your traditional scarecrow outfit with a little face paint for a pulled-together look in 20 minutes or less. (via Brit + Co)

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Rebecca Ravee Norris on Instagram: "That time I painted myself for the first time...💀🎨🎃 ________________________________________________________#facepaint #facepainting #mua #painting #paintmelikeoneofyourfrenchgirls #zombie #skull #makeup #makeupartist #specialeffects #halloween #halloweenmakeup #halloweencostume #beautyblogger #throwbackthursday #throwback"

Zombie Skeleton

Our very own beauty editor knows a thing or two about how to wield makeup for a creepy-meets-gorgeous Halloween makeup look. Talk about a new meaning for the phrase “drop dead gorgeous.”

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Frida Kahlo

Trace on a unibrow and you’re well on your way to emulating Frida’s signature look. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Mermaid

Who says that your mermaid dreams have to stay just dreams? With the right pastel makeup and brightly colored mane, you’ll be giving off mermaid vibes in no time. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Elsa from Frozen

Channel Elsa’s icy cool vibes by using a much lighter foundation than you normally would paired with bright cream eyeshadow. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Ursula

Even if you’re not a makeup artist, you can easily recreate this look by capturing the shape of her face. Look at each part before you start painting yourself, and do each step in order. (via Brit + Co)

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Pot of Gold

Rainbow hair atop a highlighted and bronzed beauty look makes for one leprechaun-approved Halloween makeup idea. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Purrfect Black Cat

Being a black cat is always a solid option. Grab your liquid liner to DIY this look. Don’t forget the ears! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Snapchat Bee Filter

Dramatic lashes and yellow cream makeup go a long way when it comes to pulling off this popular — or should we say buzzy — Snap filter. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Vampire

This vamp costume is perfect for the dark-haired, busy gal on a budget. It doesn’t take a vampire’s life span (AKA eternity) to make — and with just a few easy steps you’re transformed into a picture-perfect creature of the night! (via Brit + Co)

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Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” Makeup

Katy Perry is undeniably the queen of costumes. So, why not take a page out of her book and DIY her standing ovation-worthy “Dark Horse” look? (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Lion

We’re always down to be the queen of the jungle for Halloween. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

La Croix

Pick your fave fizzy flavor and you’re sure to win the contest. After all, La Croix is life. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Mad Hatter

This makeup is an understated version inspired by the original and is really easy to recreate. And yes, those are fake eyelashes we used as eyebrows for the ultimate Halloween hack win! (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Caterpillar and Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland

Whooooo are yoooooou? (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Unicorn

Pastel hair and makeup, a flower crown, a white body suit, and a unicorn horn make for one seriously simple Halloween look. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co/Andy Warhol

Andy Warhol’s Marilyn

Head to your local beauty store and grab all the pink face paint you can to get ready to rock your inner pop self. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

David Bowie

“I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.” (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Barbie

This makeup look is super subtle and totally customizable to your favorite shades. As long as you have a pink lip, you're good to go. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

The Joker

Ugh, it’s just so sexy-creepy, we can’t. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Trump

All you need is some bigly orange bronzer to make this your greatest Halloween look ever. No Halloween has ever been this great before. It’s the greatest. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

The Nightmare Before Christmas

It’s never too early to start the Christmas festivities. Try out this simple makeup DIY from The Nightmare Before Christmas to jumpstart the holiday season. (via Brit + Co)

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Pretty Zombie

The living dead? More like the living drop-dead gorgeous. (via Brit + Co)

What Halloween makeup look are you choosing? Be sure to ‘gram it and tag us @BritandCo.

This post has been updated.

Zendaya And Tom Holland Had An Adorable Matching Moment On Their Latest Date

If I'm completely honest, there are very few celebrity couples I care about the way I care about Tom Holland and Zendaya. Aside from the fact this couple is like a walking friends-to-lovers plotline IRL, and are both power houses on their own, these two actors and philanthropists are just unstoppable together. They also keep their relationship pretty private. Here's the latest news on it.

The Latest News On Tom Holland And Zendaya's Relationship

Image via Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney

July 2016 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Join Spider-Man: Homecoming

Tom Holland and Zendaya met and became friends when they were cast in the MCU's Spider-Man: Homecoming. Tom had already made an appearance in Captain America: Civil War, but the new Spider-Man movie was a huge deal for both Marvel fans and the couple themselves! Not only did Tom Holland and Zendaya spend time together on set, but they also hung out at the pool together during their free timeand goofed around during San Diego Comic Con.

Image via Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images

November 2016 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Are On The Cover Of The Hollywood Reporter

Tom Holland and Zendaya basically broke the internet when they graced the cover of The Hollywood Reporter's Nov. 2016 issue. The shoot was filled with plenty of classic Hollywood throwbacks, but I have always *loved* the blue dress Z wears on the cover. "Over the moon with my first cover," Tom writes on Instagram. "So grateful that I got to share it with the one and only @zendaya. Thanks mate for helping me out."

"Honored to share it with the very best...Spider-Man himself @tomholland2013," Zendaya says in her post. "Thank you for this beautiful cover @THR."

Image via Kevin Winter/Getty Images

May 7, 2017 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Attend The MTV Movie And TV Awards

At the 2017 MTV Movie And TV Awards, Tom Holland and Zendaya premiered a clip from Spider-Man: Homecoming...and Tom did a flip onstage and then asked Zendaya to homecoming.

Image via Robert Marquardt/Getty Images for Sony Pictures

July 13, 2017 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Are Reportedly Dating

In July 2017, a source seemingly confirmed what many fans had been wondering for months: that Tom Holland and Zendaya had been dating. Considering the two other sets of Spider-Man leads (Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst and Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield) both dated, it felt like this was one relationship that was bound to happen.

"They started seeing each other while they were filming Spider-Man," the insider tells People. "They've been super careful to keep it private and out of the public eye but they've gone on vacations with each other and try and spend as much time as possible with one another."

"They're both really ambitious and they challenge each other — but, most importantly, they make each other crack up," says another insider. "They seem to have a really similar sense of humor and love joking around together."

Tom Holland and Zendaya actually took to Twitter (now X) to tackle the rumors. "Wait wait...my favorite is when it says we go on vacations together HA! I haven't been on a vacation in years!" Zendaya says, to which Tomreplies, "Does the press tour count[?]"

Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

August 8, 2017 — Zendaya Shuts Down Dating Rumors

"We are friends," Zendaya tells Variety. "He's a great dude. He's literally one of my best friends. This past how many months we've had to do press tours together. There's very few people that will understand what that's like at 20 years old."

Image via Noam Galai/Getty Images for New York Magazine

May 8, 2018 — Tom Holland Supports Zendaya's Iconic Met Gala Appearance

Zendaya showed up to the 2018 Met Gala (which had the theme Heavenly Bodies) as Joan of Arc, and it's quickly become one of her most iconic and recognizable carpet looks. Tom loved it just as much as we did and wrote on Instagram, "All hail the queen. Killing it mate."

Image via Theo Wargo/Getty Images

July 2019 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Have A Very Chaotic Press Tour For Spider-Man: Far From Home

For Spider-Man: Far From Home in 2019, Tom Holland, Zendaya, and Jacob Batalon did dozens of junkets together, and many of the interviews have gone viral — like Tom and Jacob finally meeting their favorite Watch Mojo hostandthe cast playing games with Jimmy Kimmel. Junkets are always fun to watch, and this one is no exception!

Image via Cindy Ord/Getty Images for SiriusXM

July 2, 2021 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Are Seen Kissing

After years of denying they were dating, Tom Holland and Zendaya really and truly broke the internet when pictures of them kissing in a car showed up on social media. This was such a vital moment that I remember exactly where I was when I found out.

"THEY ARE END GAME DREAM COUPLE," one X user tweeted. "I don't know if I want to be Tom Holland to kiss Zendaya or be Zendaya to kiss Tom Holland," another user joked.

Tom Holland and Zendaya were later seen attending a friend's wedding...and sitting very close to each other.

Image via Tom Holland/Instagram

September 1, 2021 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Make Their Relationship Instagram Official

On Zendaya's 25th birthday, Tom Holland posted the sweetest picture from the Spider-Man makeup trailer on Instagram. "My MJ, have the happiest of birthdays," he says in the caption. "Gimme a call when [you're] up xxx."

Image via Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

November 17, 2021 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Open Up About Their Relationship

In an interview with GQ, Tom Holland opened up about his relationship with Zendaya and how their relationship to fame has impacted everything. "One of the downsides of our fame is that privacy isn’t really in our control anymore, and a moment that you think is between two people that love each other very much is now a moment that is shared with the entire world,” he says of their July 2 kiss. “I’ve always been really adamant to keep my private life private, because I share so much of my life with the world anyway...We sort of felt robbed of our privacy.”

“It was quite strange and weird and confusing and invasive,” Zendaya agrees. “I think loving someone is a sacred thing and a special thing and something that you want to deal with and go through and experience and enjoy amongst the two people that love each other."

“Our relationship is something that we are incredibly protective of and we want to keep as sacred as possible," Tom later told The Hollywood Reporter. "We don’t think that we owe it to anyone, it’s our thing, and it has nothing to do with our careers.”

Image via Emma McIntyre/Getty Images

December 15, 2021 — Zendaya Posts A Tribute To Tom Holland As Spider-Man

Before Spider-Man: No Way Home hit theaters, Zendaya posted a pair of photos featuring Tom in his superhero costume on set, and in a costume as a kid. "My Spider-Man," the caption reads. "I’m so proud of you, some things never change and good thing♥️." Adorable!

Image via Aurelien Meunier/Getty Images

February 22, 2022 — Tom Holland Says He'd Love To Be In Euphoria

Zendaya shattered records when she became the youngest person to win the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series for Rue in Euphoria. Tom also made headlines related to Euphoria when he said he'd be interested in making a cameo in the series. "I would be in Euphoria. I think I would be a really good Maddy," he jokes during a BuzzFeed puppy interview. "I'm a big Euphoria fan. I love the show and I love season 2. I visited a lot while they were shooting it and I really, really enjoyed it...I would love to guest star or just be an extra in it. Or maybe I am and you just don't know."

Image via Momodu Mansaray/Getty Images

April 20, 2022 — Zendaya Talks About Tom Holland's Support During Euphoria

"I think it's great to have that support and love around you, because you need that," Zendaya tells Entertainment Tonightduring Euphoria's Emmy For Your Consideration event. "This isn't an easy job, so it's good to have that to free you up from it every now and then."

Images via Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME and Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images

June 1, 2022 — Zendaya Celebrates Tom Holland's Birthday

For Tom's 26th birthday, Zendaya posted a rare photo of her with Tom, captioning the post, "Happiest of birthdays to the one who makes me the happiest <3."

Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

March 20, 2023 — Zendaya Wears A Ring With Tom Holland's Initials

I am always in favor of cute, meaningful, and minimalist jewelry, and apparently, Zendaya is too! When Zendaya's nail artist posted a video of the actress' new ballet pink manicure, fans quickly noticed the "TH" ring Z was wearing.

Image via Ethan Miller/Getty Images

April 27, 2023 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Go To An Usher Concert

2023 was the year of concerts for everyone, including celebrities! While Zendaya attended CinemaCon to promote Dune 2, she also went to an Usher concert with Tom Holland. "Childhood dreams come true, going to an @usher concert," Zendaya said on her Instagram story (via People).

Images via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images and Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

May 4, 2023 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Attend An NBA Game

Tom Holland and Zendaya had another date night in May, complete with the perfect athleisure, popcorn, and relaxed smiles.

Image via Xavi Torrent/Getty Images

January 12, 2024 — Tom Holland Confirms His Relationship With Zendaya Is Still Going Strong

After Zendaya unfollowed everyone on Instagram ahead of her new movie Challengers (Blake Lively pulled a similar move before her film A Simple Favor, as did Taylor Swift before Reputation), rumors started swirling that the pair had called it quits. When asked whether they had broken up, Tom says (via TMZ), "No, absolutely not."

Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

January 14, 2024 — Tom Holland Says He Loves Watching Spider-Man: Homecoming With Zendaya

During the 2024 Critics Choice Awards, Tom Holland told Extra how much he loves rewatching his first Spider-Man movie, especially when he watches it with Z. "Zendaya and I will, every now and then, watch Spider-Man 1 and reminisce about being 19 and making those movies again," he says. "I love those movies, and I love savoring those moments, so I try not to watch them as often as I would maybe like to because it’s so special. It's such a luxury, such a gift to be able to sit down and sort of relive your youth.”

Image via Tom Holland/Instagram

January 23, 2024 — Tom Holland Shows Zendaya Some Love

Since Tom Holland and Zendaya are very private, they don't often post about their relationship on social media. But when Zendaya debuted a new look at Paris Fashion Week, Tom Holland couldn't help but post a pic of Z to his Instagram story with three heart-eye emojis. We share the same sentiment, Tom, what a coincidence!

Image via Joe Maher/Getty Images

February 15, 2023 — Tom Holland Supports Zendaya's Dune 2

The London premiere of Dune 2 was *very* eventful. Zendaya basically broke the internet by wearing a Mugler "Machinenmensch" robot suit (before changing into this chic black dress from Mugler by Casey Cadwallader), a certain actress spoiled her appearance in the movie by showing up to the carpet, and Tom Holland and Zendaya were spotted at the afterparty together. I love the care and attention Tom shows Zendaya (I, too, would be overwhelmed if I was surrounded by paparazzi like in this video of the couple), and I hope they got to unwind after a crazy night!

Image via Tom Holland/Instagram

February 21, 2024 — Tom Holland Also Supports Zendaya's Challengers

After the new trailer for Challengers dropped, Tom Holland shared it to his Instagram story, promising the movie looks just as good as we're hoping. "You ain't ready for this one!" he says alongside the trailer.

Image via Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images

February 21, 2024 — Zendaya Says Tom Holland Has The Best "Rizz"

When asked who has the best "rizz" (short for charisma) in the Dune 2 cast, Zendaya immediately pivots and makes the answer more personal! "Everybody's kind of got their own [rizz]," she tells Buzzfeed. "I think someone who has beautiful charisma, not on the Dune cast, but...it works for me, is Mr. Tom Holland."

"I'm more shy and kind of quiet, so it takes a little bit more to pull me out of my shell but he's great at just talking to people and getting to know people," she continues. "He's just naturally very good at that. Or as for me, I've definitely had to pull it out of me a little bit. He's got that natural gift."

Image via Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

March 17, 2024 — Tom Holland And Zendaya Watch A Tennis Game

Ahead of Zendaya's spring movie Challengers (in which she plays a tennis pro-turned-coach opposite Mike Faist and Josh O'Connor), she watched the BNP Paribas Open Men's Final at Indian Wells Tennis Garden. Alongside Tom Holland and her assistant Darnell Appling, who she frequently calls her brother, Zendaya got comfy in a cream-colored tennis skirt, tank top, and zip-up hoodie ensemble. Spring really is here!! My favorite part of the afternoon is when Tom Holland and Zendaya sang along with Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."

Image via James Gourley/Getty Images

April 9, 2024 — Zendaya Raves About Tom Holland

In her Vogue cover story for May 2024, Zendaya talks a lot about how fame has affected both her life and Tom Holland's. “His [career] changed overnight. One day you’re a kid and you’re at the pub with your friends, and then the next day you’re Spider-Man,” she says. “I definitely watched his life kind of change in front of him. But he handled it really beautifully.”

That star power was evident in 2022, when Tom Holland and Zendaya spent the afternoon at the Louvre in Paris...and almost broke the internet. “You just kind of get used to the fact that, 'Oh, I’m also one of these art pieces you’re going to take a picture of. I just gotta be totally cool with it and just live my life,'" Zendaya continues. (She also says that when the museum let them walk around after-hours, "it was like Night at the Museum.”)

This spring, Zendaya can't wait to see Tom Holland in his London production of Romeo & Juliet: "[I] could not be more proud. I’m going to try to see as many shows as I possibly can.”

Image via Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

April 10, 2024 — Challengers Premieres In London

Tom Holland showed up for the London premiere of Challengers, and got to support Zendaya in the sweetest way. In this video captured at the premiere, you can see Tom and Z share a hug and a kiss on the cheek during the evening. Even the smallest gesture can mean a lot during a busy night, and I love how in sync Tom Holland and Zendaya are!

The latest viral clip about Tom Holland and Zendaya also has to do with Challengers. During another Challengers press tour stop, Zendaya's overjoyed to be presented with a bouquet of gardenias. “These are my favorite flowers!” she exclaims. When asked if Tom Holland buys her flowers, she points at the camera and jokes, “I hope he's watching!”

While not every girlfriend necessarily wants a bouquet, every couple definitely has to figure out each other's love languages so they can get to know each other better — and apparently A-listers are the exact same!

Arnold Jerocki/Getty Images for LVMH x Vogue x NBC

August 31, 2024 — Zendaya And Tom Holland Match On A Day Date

After a summer starring in Romeo and Juliet, Tom Holland took a late-summer stroll with Zendaya in Calabasas, California. They also ended up wearing matching white tanks (Zendaya styled hers with trousers and ballet flats, while Tom opted for cargo-esque joggers and white sneakers) for the ultimate twinning moment.

Bero

October 15, 2024 — Tom Holland Launches A New Company With Unexpected Help From Zendaya

After going sober in 2022, Tom Holland announced on October 15 he was launching a non-alcoholic drink company called Bero. “When I got sober, I started exploring the world of non-alcoholic beers and realized there was space for me to fit in,” Tom says in an interview with Forbes. “My first year sober was really difficult, and had I had Bero, I think it would have been easier.”

“Zendaya hates beer, like, absolutely hates beer," he continues. And when she helped with the taste testing, a joke helped guide the overall brand. "She does not drink beer at all, and the first round of testing she was like, ‘Wow, these are really tasty’, and I was like, ‘Well, that's probably not a good sign.'"

And at the launch event for Bero in New York City, Tom and Zendaya wore matching shades of burgundy! Z stunned in a floor-length leather dress while Tom paired a short sleeve sweater with black trousers.

October 15, 2024 — Zendaya Reveals Why She'd Never Take A Dance Class With Tom Holland

While speaking to Teen Vogue for her partnership with On, Zendaya reveals she'd probably avoid dance classes with Tom Holland because "he's too good, it would piss me off," she jokes. "I would want to take someone who could be equally as bad as me."

"Kayaking, I would choose Tom because I think that, if I can remember correctly, with the kayak, you have to be in sync with the person," she continues. "And I think it would be hilarious because we are both very controlling and we both want to be in charge. So it would be funny to watch us be like, no, we're going to go this way. No, we're going to go that way. And I think it would be a good story after the fact."

Keep checking back here for the latest news on Tom Holland and Zendaya's relationship, and see what Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are up to as well!

This post has been updated.

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See Why These Are Our Absolute Favorite Brands of The Year

Good brands come and go. Whether it's an oldie but goodie or some new up and comer, our editors pride themselves on featuring the highest quality brands and their best offerings to you, our beloved reader. We hope you enjoy this list and it may even be perfect for some early gift shopping!

Thanks for reading about our favorite finds from across the internet! FYI: We participate in affiliate programs and may get a share of the revenue from your purchase.

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I Found The Best Drugstore Lipstick — & I Already Bought It 3x In A Row

Move over expensive MAC haul — I've discovered the best drugstore lipstick that rivals my $20+ purchases. I love finding dupes for my beauty lovers who can't continuously drop a huge amount of money on new products that eventually expire. Since I'm 100% against using old makeup, I'd rather chat your eat off about the affordable drugstore finds I'm using consistently these days.

IMO, the best drugstore lipstick is the Maybelline Super Stay Matte Ink Lipstick! Coming from one of the OG beauty brands, it's formula was surprising because I almost expected it to fail. It sounds silly, but trying drugstore brands used to be a hit or miss before social media started demanding that all makeup products stop being subpar.

Since this lipstick passed the test, here's everything you need to know about it — including why I l keep buying it and all the other best drugstore lipsticks I love!

What is Maybelline Superstay Matte Ink used for?

Jasmine Williams

Anyone can say that their lipstick is THE BEST, but that's not always true. So, what's the tea on the Super Stay Matte Ink formula? According to the brand's notes on Amazon, here's what you can expect to this lipstick to do:

Glide on easily because of the "unique arrow application"
Provide a "perfectly matte" finish
Remain "smudge-free" for up to "16 hours"

It sounds like a lot of fluff if you've never tried the formula before, so I scrolled through the comment section to see what other customers think.

What are other customers saying about it?

Maybelline

Most of the customer reviews I read through on Amazon are extremely thorough so here are the ones that stood out the most:

"I am really hooked on this lipstick! It's very long wearing and it's super gentle on my lips...Let me address some common complaints among other reviewers and why I think they're wrong...Oil takes this stuff off quite easily, so do some makeup wipes...Secondly, I do agree that this product is very sticky. I have found that I can put my Mac lipgloss on over top and now it's not sticky anymore!"
"I’ve purchased this longevity wand type lipstick a few times and I like the texture and staying power. Sometimes I put another glossy lipstick over if it seems drying however it stays very nicely for the day."
"This is my first time purchasing this brand. When I say it last all day, it doesn't come off until you take it off! Some might see this as bothersome, but having it stay on until I need it off is the greatest thing."
My Favorite Review: "I put it on at around 3:30 pm and fell asleep with it on cause it was a busy night, it was still on the next morning. I had to use multiple makeup remover wipes and wash my face with a good makeup remover to get it off."

My Review For Maybelline Superstay Matte Ink Lipstick

Jasmine Williams

I used to be terrified of wearing 'nude' lip colors because I thought they would be too much of a contrast against my complexion, but watching a few YouTube tutorials nipped my fear in the bud. I make the 'Seductress' shade work for me by lining my lips with a dark brown liner. Once I did that, I immediately fell for the way it looks on me. It's to the point where I actually can't stop wearing lip combo — it's so easy to apply and takes less than two minutes to set!

How long does Maybelline Superstay Matte Ink Lipstick last?

Before I started applying gloss over my nude lip combo, I wanted to test two very important things:

If this matte lipstick could pass the smudge-proof test. I've tried other brands, and they haven't always stayed in place — especially when eating or drinking something — so I was skeptical.
How long it actually lasts, smudge-proof or not. I mean, who among us hasn't gotten home after an evening out to find their lipstick basically nonexistent?

Like one of the customer reviews suggests, this lipstick has come off a little while eating things like pasta or pizza, so it's not 100% "smudge-free." Given that, I only had to reapply this lipstick once throughout an 8-hour day — which isn't a huge deal to me because it takes less than 30 seconds to reapply it. The best way I get it to stay put is by applying lip gloss and a teeny amount of setting spray over it.

Target

Maybelline Super Stay Matte Ink Lipstick

Lately, I've even been adding the Maybelline Lifter Gloss in the shade 'Stone' as a way to truly lock in the color. It highlights the 'Seductress' shade of the Maybelline Super Stay Matte Ink Lipstick which is a huge plus for me.

For less than $12, I think it's absolutely worth buying multiple times!

More Best Drugstore Lipsticks

Target

The Lip Bar Vegan Matte Liquid Lipstick

When I'm in the mood for a universal red lipstick that has the best color payoff, I always turn to The Lip Bar's 'Bawse Lady.' She's a gorgeous blue-red that highlights all undertones without making anyone looked washed out.

Target

Revlon Colorstay Limitless Matte Lipstick

I discovered Revlon's Colorstay formula while browsing for a deeper lipstick for fall and it does not disappoint! It's another vegan product that has triple hyaluronic acid and upcycled cranberry extract in it so it literally feels like you're not wearing anything on your lips!

Target

Milani Color Fetish Matte Lipstick

The word 'Fetish' may be off-putting, but don't write this lipstick off because of the name — ha! I typically wear this when I don't want to wait for a liquid lipstick to dry. It's super velvety and also contains hyaluronic acid in it to help keep lips moisturized.

Target

Nyx Professional Makeup Smooth Whip Matte Lip Cream

Last but not least, Nyx has never let me down in the lip department before. If I'm truly shopping on a budget, I'll reach for the Smooth Whip Matte Lip Cream because it glides on my lips like butter. That's not to say I know what it feels like to rub butter all over my lips, but you get what I mean! It's soft and has a gorgeous color payoff that makes me feel like it's comparable to the best lipstick I swear by.

Have you tried Maybelline's Super Stay Matte Ink lipstick before? Let us know in the comments and subscribe to our newsletter for more beauty finds!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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How To Turn 1 Flannel Shirt Into 6 Halloween Costumes

Dudes — do you own a flannel? Well, we're pretty sure that you do, so behold SIX different ideas for easy costumes for men using that one shirt! You're welcome. Even if you have a different Halloween party every day of the week, you'll have different costumes you can wear to each one. Not only are they made with things you already own, but they're also pretty comfortable if we do say so ourselves.

To make these epic Halloween costumes, we picked up this basic red flannel from our local thrift store for $5 and paired it with a bunch of basic clothes most men already have. Scroll on to see how we made these super easy (last-minute even!) halloween costumes!

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Thanks to Zane for rocking all of these looks!

The Brawny Man Halloween Costume

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Men, get those muscles and those pearly whites ready for this flannel shirt costume! In our eyes, the Brawny Man has everything we're looking for. He’s got that tough muscle bod to swoop us off our feet, the square jaw line to melt our hearts and the perfect dark hair that we just can’t wait to run our fingers through.

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First, shop the (hilarious) Muscle Shirt. Think of it like a push-up bra for your entire torso. Cut off the lower arm section of the muscle suit so you can roll up the flannel sleeves and get down to business. Don't forget to grab a pack of Brawny paper towels to complete the costume!

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Don't panic if you start saying things like, “Oh gosh, is that some dirt over there on your vanity mirror? Girl, I’ve got you. Let me fix that.”

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We're giving this two thumbs' up because it's such an easy costume for men!

Al Borland Halloween Costume

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Remember this 90s sidekick from Home Improvement? Go as him or just any tool-belt-loving fella ;).

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This is a super easy costume for men because if you're a workman, you probably already have the flannel, boot cut jeans, and work boots! The key to getting this look right, however, is all about the accessories. We purchased this basic tool belt from Amazon. Fill it with your tools (or a flask) to really get you in the Halloween spirit.

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We all hate measuring to hang up your favorite framed pieces of wall art. Don’t worry, Al is here to save the day!

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If you don't want to commit to a full bushel of a beard, we understand. We picked up this fake beard and find the look quite comical. You can trim it to get a look that you like best.

Larry The Cable Guy Halloween Costume

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“I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park!" There's nothing better than a man who can make you laugh. Larry the Cable Guy has a particular kind of humor, but the one thing we can always count on him for is his sleeveless flannel shirts. I guess he must always be running warm.

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Get ready to release some anger, because you’ll need to rip off the sleeves for this look. (Meaning that if you're planning on using all of these costumes, you might want to save this one for last). Pair your sleeveless flannel with boot cut jeans, boots and a trucker-inspired baseball cap.

Brit + Co

This look says, “My cooking is probably subpar, but I can make you laugh while we try to cook together.” ;)

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Larry's signature look is his goatee-mustache combo. We weren't going to subject Zane to actually shaving for this costume, so instead we created the look with a fake goatee stick-on beard and a brown eyebrow pencil. Easy as pie.

The Hipster Halloween Costume

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Does your beer brewing side hobby need your constant attention?

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Zane completely dressed for this costume himself from his own wardrobe. Pair your flannel with a V-neck tee, cuffed slim-fitting jeans and your best pair of leather loafers. Accessories are a must — think thick-rimmed glasses, beanie hat and a cold beer. PBR or Tecate will do the trick, since you are already in the process of creating the perfect beer yourself ;)

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Need man bun styling tips? Or man braids if your hair is long enough.

Marty McFly Halloween Costume

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Okay, real talk – can you believe the year Marty traveled to in his time machine was 2015? How time flies (even if the cars don't).

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Marty’s iconic look is all about the layers, so be sure to add a jean jacket and that signature puffy vest over the flannel. Pair with boot cut jeans and the whitest pair of 90’s (dad) sneakers you own.

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Zach let us borrow his board but you can find an inexpensive skateboard on Amazon too.

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Keep the hair simple. We went for a side part and wind-blown vibes — traveling through time is windy, right?

Wind-blown Man Costume

Brit + Co

We’ve all had those bad umbrella days…All jokes aside, this look was our absolute favorite to create. We are just dying over the fact that no wind or fan was used in creating this photo.

Brit + Co

We had Zane dress in a normal everyday outfit, then added some wind-blown tweaks. You will want to stick wire down the inside of your tie to give it a rippled shape and then safety pin it to corner of the flannel. We also pinned up the bottom corner of the shirt and taped on some wind-blown newspaper ads to the knee of the pants. Most importantly, you’ll want a broken, inside-out umbrella to complete this costume.

And that's a wrap!

How do you feel about these flannel costumes? Let us know in the comments, and don't forget to tag us in all your flannel costumes on Instagram!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

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