4 Writing Prompts to Help You Process Your Emotions

1. Have something go seriously wrong at work? A quick (& private) adult tantrum can help you express those emotions.

Even if you're one of the lucky people who love their job, nothing indicates things will go smooth sailing every day. Some times projects fall through because of miscommunication, misunderstandings, or a vindictive co-worker who looks to throw you under the bus every chance they get. Either way, it's sure to stir up big feelings that you may not know how to properly deal with.

As much as you may be trying to avoid this, having an adult 'tantrum' may be the very thing you need to do. Phelan says, "A tantrum can be a quick way to release pent-up frustration or anger."

2. Saw something crazy on your drive to Target? Adult tantrums actually help reduce cortisol in the body!

We've all had a front row seat to another driver's reckless behavior in traffic that's left us feeling rattled. We may have begun to grip our steering wheels even tighter despite developing sweaty palms. By the time we make it to our destination, we're likely on edge and in fight-or-flight mode. But instead of holding that energy in, Phelan suggests releasing it. "Releasing emotions and moving energy helps to regulate the nervous system and alleviate tension in the body," she says.

3. Journaling not your thing? Adult tantrums totally count as another way to express what's on your mind.

if you're not a fan of utilizing journal prompts or checking in with yourself, you may not know why you feel so upset about something. This can cause you to feel sad one minute and agitated the next. However, allowing yourself to have meltdowns can help you figure out what's bothering you so much.

Phelan says, "They can help clarify underlying emotional needs or frustrations." Not only that, but she says there's a reason why tantrums happen in the first place. "When we reach the point of having a tantrum, things have often been bubbling under the surface for some time, so reaching this breaking point can be a sign that something internal is needed our attention or to be expressed."

4. Did your partner make another passive-aggressive comment? An adult tantrum can help you figure out why you haven't talked to them about how that hurts your feelings!

While this is just an example of a way that you need to set boundaries, it's still a valid one that some people can unfortunately relate to. I'm currently saying a silent prayer for my 19-year-old self who dealt with a passive-aggressive partner.

But, are there healthy ways to have an adult tantrum?

According to Phelan, yes! I know this contradicts everything we've been taught in our communities about tantrums, but they don't have to look like the outbursts we've seen on social media. In her honest opinion, here are 5 ways to express yourself:

1. In Private: Choose a safe, quiet place to express emotions.
2. Physical Movement: Engage in activities like stomping, shaking, or throwing a pillow to physically move the stagnant, stuck energy.
3. Breathing & Grounding: Use deep breathing or grounding exercises to manage intensity and release pent up emotions.
4. Vocal Release: Scream into a pillow or use sound for catharsis.
5. Journaling: Write down the intense emotions to release them without acting out.

Similar to Phelan's suggestions, Michelle also shares her top tips for having a "productive" tanrum:

• Find a private, judgment-free space.
• Use physical movement like stomping or shaking.
• Let emotions out vocally, but intentionally (a sigh or growl works better than a scream).
• Set a timer for just a few minutes.
• Reflect afterward: What does that part of you need?

In Michelle’s words:
"Set a timer, yell into a pillow, and ask yourself: What does this part of me need? (Just don’t scare your kids or get fired from your job!)”

Just because tantrums aren't horrific doesn't mean we're giving you a pass to be rude to others or have them whenever you want. Phelan warns, "They're inappropriate in certain settings, such as work environments and public places. They are also of course inappropriate if they involve harming yourself or others in any way." Hession says something similar in that she wants you to "avoid tantrums in public, around children, or at work" because "they can cause misunderstandings or even harm." It goes without saying, but violence is never the answer!

Also, Phelan and Hession want you to pay attention to how often you're using this as a way to calm down. "If tantrums become a consistent occurrence, healthier coping strategies are needed and therapy is a great place to start learning them," she suggests. Hessions feels that recurrent tantrums "may indicate unresolved trauma that's worth exploring in therapy."

Basically, therapy is always a great idea!

“Good awkward speaks to this idea that a degree of risk-taking is required in order to grow and improve our circumstances or advance at work and in life," says Pryor.

But getting good at embracing those moments of awkwardness takes practice. "Awkwardness is a social emotion,” says Pryor. “We don't feel it when other people aren't around.” The holidays are the perfect time for flexing that muscle. We’re meeting new people. We’re facing family conflicts. We’re talking politics with more people who aren’t in our bubble. We’re having more social interactions at work and seeing relatives who may not always see our point of view.

Here are ways to survive holiday season awkwardness and face it with confidence and grace:

Calibrate your expectations.

"You don't see these people all year long oftentimes, so there's a degree of uncertainty that if we can anticipate it and level set our expectations, it helps us go into it, says Pryor. Have some strategies to call on in the moment too. “The first thing is naming it,” says Pryor. “When no one says anything, the tension actually gets thicker. But if somebody can playfully go, 'Oh, that was awkward,' or kind of own it or name it, it actually diffuses the tension, everyone can relax." You can also strategically use humor. "We can have talk tracks to playfully change the subject or exit the room, but we need to mentally prepare for them so that we can have tools at our fingertips in the moment when we need them."

Flip the script.

To help build self-awareness around the emotion, ask yourself a few questions, like what are the childhood stories and narratives I tell myself? Are you thinking of your awkward feelings as a state or a trait? A state = "I feel awkward right now" (and it's something that will pass, and I can handle) vs. a trait ("I'm so awkward all the time"), which feels more permanent, and less easy to work with, says Pryor.

“A lot of times when we experience awkward moments, we just want to remove ourselves from the situation. We don't want to think about it anymore. But there's actually a ton of value in data after that moment has eventually passed, to thinking about why did that feel so cringey or awkward or embarrassing to me? What does that represent?,” she says. Pryor uses a personal and relatable example to illustrate this point.

"I grew up in a South Asian household where my parents would often say an expression that means, 'What will other people think?' There was a lot of that constantly, so peel back the layers, understand what are the stories you're telling yourself." That awareness can help alleviate the negative self talk that happens post-awkward situation.

Play back a redemptive story.

Citing research from Professor Dan McAdams at Northwestern University, Pryor says we can tell ourselves contamination stories or redemptive ones. “You can't control your first thought, but you can control your second one," says Pryor. It's natural to think 'Well, that was awkward or that was embarrassing. And that's OK. "Our second thought, however, can be to continue to ruminate or turn it into an alternative," says Pryor. A contamination story is, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe that happened. I'm never going to speak up at the table again with these relatives," or "I'm never going to contribute to the conversation."

Or you can turn it into a positive, which is, "'Well, that didn't go how I hoped, but I'm proud of myself considering I don't see these folks often that I contributed to the conversation, learned a lesson from it. The next time, maybe I'll handle it differently, but I spoke up and I'm proud because I don't typically do so.' Can you look for the gifts in the garbage of that situation?," asks Pryor.

Finally, recognize the universality of awkward moments. We all feel them, and we can’t avoid them. But by naming it, diffusing it (with humor or just calling it out), and reality-checking our emotions and self-doubt vs. letting it dictate our actions can help us breeze through them with confidence and ease.

“Look for the evidence and the facts,” says Pryor. “You can also ask yourself, "What else is true?" For example, "I may feel awkward right now, but I'm also having this conversation and that's a huge step for me and worth being proud of."

When did Jason and Kylie announce she's pregnant?

Kylie Kelce shared the huge news on Instagram November 22nd! Of course grandma Donna Kelce was the first to leave a comment. She wrote, "🔥🔥🔥🔥😍😍😍 Love it!!!" Brittany Mahomes also commented by writing, "Ahhhhhh Congrats you guys!!!🥹🤍."

How did Jason and Kylie's other daughters react?

In Kylie's same Instagram post, her and Jason's daughters can be seen expressing a range of emotions. There's an 'Eek' expression from their oldest daughter Wyatt, a happy look from their middle daughter Elliott, and pure tears from baby girl Bennett. Kylie wrote, "I feel like we captured a very accurate representation of how each of the girls feel about getting another sister. At least Ellie, mom and dad are on the same page! 🤷♀️"

When is Jason and Kylie's fourth baby due?

That's TBD! Since the couple just announced their fourth pregnancy, only time will tell when baby girl will arrive. Knowing Jason and Kylie's willingness to be open about their lives, we wouldn't be surprised if they decide to share a due date.

How are Jason and Kylie preparing to be a family of six?

Jason Kelce is taking the news of being an official girl dad like a champ. He told E! Newshe's "got it pretty easy" because "the clothes are all going to be hand-me-downs or already bought." Not only that, but they've already secured a baby crib! However, Jason was quick to add Kylie's also getting ready for their daughter's arrival. "Kylie's definitely preparing more than I am, because she's actually growing the human being."

“I love my kids so much, and especially my daughters,” he added. "I was telling somebody out there because they're expecting their first — and they look at you. They smile at you. There's just a way that kids have to warm your soul in a way that nothing else can.”

He's also excited to watch his daughters grow up with a new sibling. "And hopefully we'll welcome a fourth into this world, and we'll be able to watch them fight and tear each other apart and all the good stuff."

He even appeared on The Rich Eisen Show where he joked, "I'm screwed [in] like in 10 years. The moment they’re all in middle school, I feel like it’s just gonna be chaos." He also hopes Wyatt "can start helping out a little bit more." But, he's still looking forward to it! "I obviously have not had a son, but there is something about a daughter in the way I think as a dad, you feel an extra amount probably of protection and love toward that child," he shared.