The Best Organization System at IKEA for Under $100

Need a place to keep all your stuff? Join the club! Whether your place is low on closet space or you’re just looking for a way to keep things clutter-free, a dedicated organization system is a good way to go. Our pick? IKEA’s incredibly customizable ALGOT system.

ALGOT blends into almost any decor, since it’s in IKEA’s trademark white. The bracketed system is completely customizable to your storage needs and your taste. It can be used inside of closets or storage areas, but you don’t have to hide your ALGOT away behind doors; it also looks great when displayed in a room so you can show off your prized possessions, like shoes or accessories.

You could also use it for storing items in your main living space. Style it out with a cute array of vases, boxes, and your other favorite decorative items.

ALGOT looks awesome as a stand-in for a bookcase…

… Or to organize items in the office. Below, a standard ALGOT shelf is used as a desk surface.

It even works in bathrooms and laundry rooms! Because the parts are made of steel and plastic, you don’t have to worry about it getting damaged in damp spots in your home, and it’s easily wiped down.

Although the ALGOT system ranges in price, most of the options are under $100. Some of the larger configurations are more expensive, of course (the largest wall system is $220, for example), but you can always start small to see if it works for you and then expand. The huge variety of storage accessories (like boxes, shelves, baskets, and more) gives you so many options for individualizing your picks.

IKEA offers a handy online tool for customizing the system to your space. If you want even more help with planning the system, blogger Abby Lawson has a great how-to on measuring for the ALGOT.

Do you have the ALGOT in your home? Tell us how it’s made a difference in keeping things organized @BritandCo!

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(Photos via IKEA)

In The Holiday, there's Cameron Diaz’s sleek, modern LA home, while Kate Winslet’s character offers up her quaint, cozy English cottage. If you lean more into Kate’s cozy vibe, especially in the fall & winter, here are some simple tips to transform your home into a rustic and cozy cottage this season. From fresh flowers to vintage art, these easy upgrades will help you capture that English charm in your home so you can sit back, relax, and admire.

Tip 1: Use A Soft, Neutral Color Palette

@sophia.at.home via Farrow & Ball

Choose soft whites, creams, pastels with touches of blue, sage green, and blush pinks in your decor. Paint a cozy reading nook with a soothing color like Farrow & Ball's Schoolhouse White, and look for vintage-style furniture made in natural fibers like linen or cotton. Bonus if you have a fireplace, but if not a candle will do!

Shop The Nook

IKEA

IKEA ROCKSJÖN Armchair

Tip 2: Layer Natural Linens

Shutterstock

Get cozy with plenty of pillows, quilts, and knitted throws to add layers of warmth and comfort (kitty optional;). Natural fiber rugs like jute, sisal, or wool rugs bring natural texture to the space, and light and airy curtains like linen or lace can help filter sunlight and create a romantic, cozy atmosphere.

Shop Linens & Rugs

Magnolia

Magnolia Flora Pillow

Tip 3: Bring In Floral Elements

JJ's Flower Shop

Treat yourself to a subscription of fresh flowers, like this pastel bouquet from JJ's Flower Shop, perfectly neutral and natural for your cottage aesthetic. Display them in mason jars or vintage vases for a natural touch. Bring in small plants like succulents, herbs, or wildflowers, and add botanical prints and wallpapers with floral patterns to enhance the look.

SHOP COTTAGE FLORALS

Chasing Paper

Chasing Paper x Jenni Yolo Cosmo Block Print

Tip 4: Add A Warm Touch

Vlada Karpovich

Go for soft, warm lighting instead of bright overhead lights and light your favorite fall candleto create a cozy ambience, especially in candleholders made from metal, wood, or glass. Warm fairy lights create a magical glow and are perfect for mantels. Enjoy the season with a pot of soup, coffee, hot chocolate, or mulled wine and get hygge in the kitchen too!

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The only thing I want to do with Halloween right around the corner, doesn't involve trick-or-treating, haunted houses, or going to parties. It involves me, a bag of popcorn, a movie, my couch, and a deliciously cozy loungewear set that I can keep on all day. Truly the picture-perfect evening, IMO!

Since I've become a couch potato, loungewear sets appear to be my specialty — and I've accumulated a lot as of late. They're just the best for laying around your house, doing chores, working from home, or even running errands! Here are all my favorite loungewear sets to shop right now, so you can also be a comfy, CUTE couch potato this fall!

Amazon

MEROKEETY Women's 2 Piece Lounge Sets

Starting off with the stitched Amazon fave that you'll be obsessed with — I know I am! This would look absolutely adorable paired with some comfy Ugg slippers or Birkenstock clogs! That way, you can be comfy while you run your errands like popping in to Trader Joe's for some pumpkin snacks or going to Target for the most perfect autumnal candle.

Target

Auden Cozy Rib Pullover

Target is my happy place during the fall (and always — let's be real). I look forward to every October where I can grab my PSL from Starbucks,and browse the aisles for endless autumnal home decor that I surely don't need, but will definitely buy anyway. This set from Target is just another perfect example of that. It screams ultimate coziness, and its the perfect neutral shade of brown that I love in fall.

Amazon

Gap Cash-Soft Sweater

Gap has just been absolutely killing it lately — and this loungewear set is no different! It's made out of a cashmere-like material called "cash-soft" that Gap uses, and I'm not joking when I say this stuff is heavenly. It's truly so luxurious, and makes you feel like you're wrapped up in a blanket all day. Who doesn't love that? Plus, it's in one of our trending colors for fall!

Abercrombie & Fitch

Abercrombie & Fitch Sunday Sweatsuit

There hasn't been a single piece from Abercrombie lately that I haven't added to my cart...everything they're doing is just so good. This chic loungewear set will give you the ideal elevated and sporty streetwear look that would be amazing styled with some trending sneakers and a slouchy tote bag!

Target

Auden Cozy Sweater Set

A good short, sweater set is one of my favorite types of loungewear — it lets me get cozy without feeling too hot if I decide to leave the heater on. This one is perfect for me as a California gal, because it never gets too cold here in the fall! Can't you just picture this one with some tall socks, Uggs, reading glasses, and a book or a scary movie? I want it now!

Amazon

PRETTYGARDEN Women's 2 Piece Outfits

Another Amazon set, because they're just so convenient, cute, and affordable! This one has the stitch detailing again that I just love so much. It really makes the set look more elevated and high-end. It will have everyone saying, "It's from Amazon?! No way!" Pair with some chunky sneakers and a messy bun!

Nordstrom

Dippin Daisys Polka Dot Short Set

Do NOT try to tell me polka dots are just for the summer, because you're wrong! Wrong I say! Brown polka dots are especially perfect because they're just so darn cute and autumnal. I love this set for just gallivanting around the house, maybe working from home, or making some yummy pumpkin-themed treats. Too cute!

Reformation

Reformation Kiera Wide Leg Sweat Suit

What better loungewear set for the month of October than this super cute burnt orange option? It's the perfect set to get you in the mood for spooky season, while looking positively adorable. I love the simplistic styling of this one with flats and maybe a sweater thrown over the shoulder for another cozy addition.

Nordstrom

LIVD Plus Size 3-Piece Set

We love extensive sizing, and this one offers so many additional sizing options. This plus size set is one of my favorites because of all the pieces it comes with. The set includes pants, a crop top, and a long duster cardigan! We love the sound of that! Make sure to grab this one in the amazing dark blue color.

DONNI

DONNI Pointelle Knit Set

DONNI is one of my favorite new brands that's come out in the past couple of years, not only because of how high quality their pieces are, but also how timeless they are. This pointelle knit set only further proves that point! I love how it can be worn casually, but also dressed up for a sweet, brunch look. Absolutely adore this set!

Nordstrom

Free People Malibu Sweater Set

If your style leans more on the bohemian side à la Vanessa Hudgens, then we have the perfect set for you! Look no further than this set from Free People. It will give you that bohemian chic look but with a cozy twist of course. BRB adding this one to my cart for fall immediately!

Abercrombie & Fitch

Lace and Pointelle Matching Set

Every gal needs a cozy set that makes her feel sexy and cute, and this one will definitely do that for you! It's made of pointelle which is so cute and comfy, but also has a bit of a sexy touch with the lace. You can grab this set for less than $100 at Abercrombie & Fitch!

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'Tis finally fall, and a new season is a perfect time to refresh your home with minor upgrades that don't cost a ton of money. We asked top designers what they think are the most affordable ways to upgrade your home. From a fresh coat of paint to new lighting fixtures to no-cost upgrades, here are the cheapest ways to refresh a room without breaking your decor budget.

#1: Paint

Graham & Brown

Whether you refresh a wall, a whole room, or your front door, paint can dramatically transform your space. "Consider painting your baseboards and ceilings to match your wall color for a truly impactful overall effect," says Kirsten Blazek of LA-based design firm A1000XBetter.

UK-based Graham & Brown announced its Color of the Year 2025: Elderton, a neutral toned brown inspired by nature. Looking for more inspiration? These paint colors are expert-loved for creating a warm, happy home!

"Whether you choose a bold, rich shade or a soft neutral, paint can dramatically change the style and mood of a room without needing any major renovations," echoes Amanda Leigh, cofounder of LA-based design firm House of Rolison. "Plus, it's often a DIY project, making it a simple and budget-friendly way to create a big impact."

Lemieux et Cie

Christiane Lemieux, founder of modern luxury shop Lemieux et Cie, agrees. "Repainting is an affordable way to transform a room by changing its color palette. It refreshes the walls, updates the look, and can make spaces feel bigger, cozier, or more modern, depending on your choice of color."

#2: Lighting

Lemieux et Cie

Statement lighting can also transform your space, from offering a more impactful design aesthetic to better functionality. "Swapping out old or dated lighting fixtures for more contemporary or statement pieces is a cost-effective way to enhance the overall feel of a room," adds Lemieux. This Cheverny Large Chandelier is a gorgeous way to make a statement in your space.

Nils Timm

Design: House of Rolison

Leigh agrees that lighting often gets overlooked, but it's one of the most effective ways to change the feel of a room. "Cool, harsh lighting can feel sterile, while warm, ambient lighting creates a more welcoming and cozy vibe," says Leigh. "Go for energy-efficient LED bulbs with a color temperature between 2500K and 2700K for that perfect glow."

#3: Wallpaper

Lemieux et Cie

"Wallpaper can transform a space by adding color, texture, and personality to walls, creating a more inviting or sophisticated atmosphere," says Taylor Hahn, cofounder of House of Rolison. "It can make a room feel larger, cozier, or more vibrant, depending on the design." Choose a bold pattern or subtle texture, says Leigh. "We love sourcing unique yet cost effective options on Etsy, and other online retailers."

I love this Painterly Labyrinth Wallpaper from Lemieux et Cie!

#4: Hardware

Nils Timm

Design: House of Rolison

"Replacing cabinet and drawer hardware is a small investment with a big payoff," says Lemieux. Upgrade your hardware on kitchen and bathroom cabinets and drawers for major impact. "This small change can create a cohesive and polished look, transforming even basic furniture or cabinets into something more sophisticated without breaking the bank," says Amr Samaha of Samaha Studio.

#5: Declutter + Organize

Lemieux et Cie

You don't always have to spend money on home upgrades to make a beautiful difference. "Tidying up and removing unnecessary items can instantly make a home feel more spacious, clean, and organized," says Lemieux. Fall in love again with the things that bring you joy. "By editing clutter, you create a more serene and functional space without spending any money." Organized areas can also highlight your home's architecture and design features, she says.

#6: Flooring

Nils Timm

Design: House of Rolison

Whether you choose to remove carpet, sand existing floors, or upgrade your flooring, it can instantly enhance the look and feel of your space. "New flooring can define a room’s style while increasing home value," says Hahn. "It doesn’t have to be expensive either! You can score amazing deals on real wood and tile from flooring warehouses, overstock sales in showrooms, or even offer up and Facebook marketplace!" she adds.

#7: Rearrange Furniture

Lemieux et Cie

Before you spend a dime upgrading your space, look around and see how your furniture can function better in a room. "Simply moving your furniture around can dramatically change the flow and perception of a space," says Lemieux. "You can improve the room's functionality, make it feel more open, and even highlight natural lighting. Rearranging is entirely free but can breathe new life into your home."

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If you've been struggling to get enough sleep, new TikTok viral wellness trend — 'sleepmaxxing' — wants to help. We'd give anything to stop dealing with insomnia, middle-of-the-night wakeup calls, and overall sleep anxiety. But does this trend work? And more importantly, are all these social media tips safe for you to try?

Dr. Ankur Bindal, MD, MPH, FAPA, FAASM can tell you better than we can given his board certification in psychiatry, from American Board of Psychiatry & neurology. In addition to being the founder of the KAB Medical Group Inc. in San Diego, he's also a board certified sleep medicine practitioner who's seen firsthand how a lack of rest can affect our overall wellbeing.

TL;DR

  • Sleepmaxxing is a TikTok trend that's focused on setting yourself up for the best night of sleep possible.
  • While sleep masks and other tangible efforts to get comfortable in bed are great, you mainly want to make sure you're making healthy choices before bed like avoiding your phone.
  • Adults should aim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night.
  • Eliminate too much light in your bedroom, avoid screen time, and establish consistent sleeping and waking times.

What is sleepmaxxing?

KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA

If you're confused about sleepmaxxing, you're not alone — it's really not a straightforward term. It reminds us of what Will Ferrell said in Blades of Glory: "No one knows what it means but it's provocative...gets the people going." However, it actually has a meaning, and Dr. Bindal succinctly breaks it down. "Sleepmaxxing is the art and science of optimizing one's sleep and achieving the best possible quality & quantity of sleep by addressing every factor that can disrupt sleep," he says. This can look like using ear plugs, sleep masks, establishing specific sleep rituals, or anything else that is soothing and helpful.

Mainly, if you actually want to maximize your sleep, then you need to focus on what you do before you go to bed. Unbeknownst to us at times, our bedtime habits can affect the kind of rest we get (or not) at night. Dr. Bindal says, "Optimal Sleep hygiene methodologies including limiting light and sound exposure to using the latest sleep gadgets so sleepmaxxing aims to enhance sleep quality to the fullest." Unfortunately this means our habit of binge watching shows or scrolling mindlessly on TikTok at night aren't helping us.

I mean, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 35% of those surveyed have their sleep interrupted by lights inside of their homes. That's just lights, sans repetitious social media sounds and compelling television plots. When you add those on top of it all...let's just say we really are not doing ourselves any favors.

How does getting the proper amount of rest aid in our overall wellbeing?

Ahmed ツ

Now that you have a better idea of what sleepmaxxing is, we have to talk about why it matters. Dr. Bindal says getting the "proper amount of sleep" helps support" the following "various bodily functions" including, but not limited to:

  • Brain health — Enhanced cognition in domains of learning, concentration and consolidating memory by promoting phenomenon of hippocampal plasticity
  • Immune system function — A production of essential immune cells, better equipped to fighting off infections
  • Hormone regulation — A regulation of mood and reduced stress and physical repair that promotes muscle recovery, tissue repair, and overall physical development

He further explains that hormone regulation eventually leads to "improved mood, concentration, energy levels, and reduced risk of chronic diseases like heart disease and diabetes."

Basically, the health benefits of slowing down and going to sleep outweigh what society often pushes — staying up later, longer and hustling at all hours of the day and night.

On average, how many hours of sleep are recommended?

Kaboompics.com

How much rest are you truly getting at night? If you ask America's Health Rankings, 35% of adults are getting less than seven hours of sleep. Dr. Bindal says that while adults should sleep between seven and nine hours every night, and there are health risks for those who don't. "Research corroborates that adults who sleep less than seven hours a night may have more health issues than those who do," he explains. Johns Hopkins Medicinefound that sleep deprivation can lead to a "36% increased risk for colorectal cancer," propensity for developing type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and an overall lower immune system.

Saying "I'll sleep when I'm dead," may sound like a joke, but there's nothing funny about not letting your body get the rest it needs to function.

Should people with sleep difficulties try sleepmaxxing?

Marcus Aurelius

There are several reasons why your sleep could be negatively impacted right now. You may be dealing with insomnia due to stress, depression, or being a new parent. According to the American Psychological Association, 43% of people believe being stressed contributes to their lack of sleep. Furthermore, these same people have noticed their mood has shifted. The same reports shows that 45% of people who are getting less than the recommended hours of sleep have shared they feel on edge more than others while 52% have noticed they've been taking their frustrations out on those in their household.

Dr. Bindal agrees that sleepmaxxing can greatly benefit you if you're struggling because it can "enhance sleep quality to the fullest and emphasizes the importance of optimal sleep health."

How does sleepmaxxing benefit us?

Pavel Danilyuk

Clearly, you need a certain amount of sleep to function properly and achieve all those goals you've so intentionally set recently (hello, October Theory!). That's where sleepmaxxing can come in. Dr. Bindal says, "Improved sleep quality can lead to enhanced mental clarity and emotional stability, making it easier to navigate daily challenges."

If you're planning to change a few habits, you're going to need all the strength and focus you can access because change isn't always easy — even if you welcome it! So when you're implementing these new nighttime routines, be sure to stick to them. Turn your phone on Do Not Disturb, avoid the itch to scroll socials, and make sure you're able to properly relax. It can make all the difference in the world!

How can we incorporate sleepmaxxing in our bedtime routines?

KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA

If you don't know how to make sleepmaxxing work for you, Dr. Bindal has great suggestions! "Key techniques include optimizing your sleep environment, establishing a consistent sleep schedule, and managing stress and anxiety," he suggests.

One of the key ways you can make sure your room will promote a good night's sleep is by "adjusting the temperature" or "practicing a relaxation exercises before bed," he says. While meditation and mindfulness may be relaxation exercises that take practice over time, choosing the correct temperature is an easy way to set yourself up for success. Everyone's different, but he truly believes your room should be between 65 and 69 degrees Fahrenheit, too.

As Dr. Bindal mentioned before, eliminating sources of light can also aid in the rest you get. Personally, I can't sleep with the TV or lights on anymore because I just know it interrupts my sleep. My room is usually pitch black when it's time to go to sleep — to the point my three-year-old knows what it means when I turn everything off.

Besides these things, Dr. Bindal encourages you to maintain "consistent sleep and wake times" along with a "balanced diet and regular physical activity." Whether that means you start making your own Cava bowls inspired by the blue zone diet or doing workouts at home, they can aid in helping your body repair itself which then promotes the sleep you need.

Can we become too hyper-focused on our quality of sleep?

Kevin Malik

As with anything, too much of something can have adverse affects which rules out any benefits. Though sleepmaxxing can be a good thing for you, becoming fixated on it is likely going to make you even more stressed. "One of the primary concerns with sleepmaxxing is the development of orthosomnia, a condition caused by an obsession with tracking sleep metrics, with devices or apps, which increases anxiety and can further disrupt sleep, called paradoxical insomnia," Dr. Bindal warns.

If you become too obsessed with tracking every little thing, he says all this will do is "disrupt sleep cycles and limit the efficacy of insomnia treatments." But, he has an idea of what you can do to lessen the chance that'll happen. "Instead of over-analyzing how much sleep you’re getting, it’s important to understand that insomnia is a common and treatable condition, by incorporating healthy sleep hygiene routines organically and focusing on addressing the root causes of insomnia symptoms," he shares.

How can we optimize our sleep without getting sucked into wellness trends?

Niels from Slaapwijsheid.nl

Whether you want to call it sleepmaxxing or not, all you have to do is normalize the tips Dr. Bindal mentioned above. "Some of the ways can include established a consistent sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, managing light exposure, and limiting screen time before you want to go to sleep," he reiterates. Social media isn't going anywhere so don't let your FOMO convince you that potential scandals or tutorials are more important than getting seven to nine hours of sleep.

Also, don't forget to "maintain a comfortable sleep environment" while being aware of your "caffeine and alcohol intake throughout the day," Dr. Bindal points out. Something tells us that we're going to have to be intentional about breaking up with our daily coffee runs and desires to unwind with a nice glass of wine. But if it means we'll sleep better, we'll add that to our list of habits to change!

Need an extra dose of positivity in your life? We have even more lifestyle tips to share to help you end the year on a healthy and wholesome note!

Navigating adulthood as an eldest daughter can be tough. While you’re not a child in your parents’ home anymore, the dynamics you grew up with can still follow. Think about it: how often do you find yourself trying to solve everyone else’s problems while continuously trying to shoulder your own alone? If this resonates with you at all, you may be dealing with Eldest Daughter Syndrome.

To understand what this actually looks like beyond the TikTok therapy speak of it all, I talked to a licensed therapist, Briana Paruolo, LCMHC. As the founder of On Par Therapy — a practice that specializes in “burnout, disordered eating, and self-worth” that seeks to “empower high achieving women” — she comes across a lot of clients dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Here’s what Paruolo has to say!


TL;DR

  • Eldest daughter syndrome isn't in the DSM-5, but that doesn't make the experiences of eldest daughters any less real.
  • Eldest daughter syndrome can look like intense perfectionism, unrealistic high standards, an inability to delegate, and an innate need to prioritize the needs of others first.
  • Eldest daughters can heal by validating their experiences, understanding their self-worth, and setting clear boundaries with themselves and others — especially by just saying "no" sometimes.

What is eldest daughter syndrome?

cottonbro studio

While The New York Timesreports that eldest daughter syndrome "isn’t an actual mental health diagnosis" — AKA it's not an official disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) — the symptoms seem to have a very real effect on the people struggling with it. Paruolo explains, "Often times with my clients, we explore 'eldest daughter experiences' as a way to avoid pathologizing this now normalized response to family roles and expectations. The eldest daughter experiences behavioral patterns and emotional experiences that are unique to their birth order in comparison to other siblings."

What does this all mean in practice? Paruolo says that families tend to place a ton more expectations on firstborn children, from achievements to overall responsibilities. According to Paruolo, this can put pressure on these children to lead and set a good example for younger siblings. Over time, that pressure can grow and evolve, leading an eldest daughter to taking on more and more throughout her life — even outside of the family home she grew up in — and cause further complications in their relationships, workplace, and otherwise.

What are the symptoms of eldest daughter syndrome?

Pavel Danilyuk

Like I said before, you naturally carry a lot of these experiences from childhood into your adult interactions. And while having leadership proclivities and high standards for yourself isn't inherently a bad thing, all of these pressing expectations can morph into more frustrating symptoms later on in life.

Since this isn't an exact diagnosis or disorder (yet), a lot of these symptoms can come from the practical findings from therapists over time. With Paruolo's clients, she's noticed that eldest daughters "might experience symptoms of perfectionism and unrealistic self-induced demands in both workplaces and relationships." She explains that this can look like a lack of delegation or asking for help. Paroulo also notes that eldest daughters may innately "prioritize others' needs before they acknowledge their own" — and if they choose to pick their own needs first, they may end up feeling guilty in the long run.

Each of these symptoms can pop up in an eldest daughter's day-to-day, but they can also have some unfortunate long term effects if they go unaddressed. "Long term effects might look like consciously or unconsciously being placed in a caregiving role, which can lead to burnout in many relationships," Paruolo says. She explains that this "immense pressure" and the climbing responsibilities can eventually cause chronic stress — and potentially even lead to resentment toward family members.

Netflix

For a fictional — but still practical! — example, let's think about Daphne Bridgerton. In season 1, we immediately see the extreme weight Daphne bears to find a good, respectable marriage that will make her family proud and cement their societal standing even further. That's a ton of pressure for anyone of any age, let alone a 21-year-old woman. Meanwhile, her older brothers Anthony and Benedict are 29 and 27, respectively — and if you remember, they don't seem to nervous about their own standings on the marriage mart, let alone seem eager to marry yet at all.

But Daphne prevails! She marries The Duke of Hastings, conceives a child, and fulfills her family's dreams against all odds. If you thought that would be enough, and that Daphne officially check off her eldest daughter duty, you'd be wrong! In season 2, when Anthony finally decides to navigate his own marriage prospects, the family calls Daphne in for help to give advice and lead them through their struggles. So even though Daphne's started a family of her own (exactly what they wanted and asked of her!), her job is never done. She councils, aids, and doles out an endless supply of love and care.

What can parents do to prevent eldest daughter syndrome?

Any Lane

Parents have a lot to prioritize as they raise their families, but there are some small (but very powerful!) things they can do to help prevent eldest daughter syndrome from getting out of hand. First and foremost, Paruolo wants parents to know how important it is to be mindful of how they speak to their children, regardless of their birth order. She stresses that a parents' voice "often becomes the child's internal voice (and often the harshest critic)."

Next, Paruolo suggests creating a more open environment for the family to talk about their feelings about the family dynamic. By doing so, it seems like this could mitigate that resentment we've talked about before, where an eldest daughter may take on more and more without asking for help and eventually burning out. Paruolo notes you can have these conversations at family dinners or meetings — this offers a set time and place for each person to air their feelings.

Finally, Paruolo wants parents that they should be "mindful of the caregiving responsibilities they place on the eldest" while also "encouraging age-appropriate forms of independence for the children in the house." All these efforts can help "breed healthier dynamics," and hopefully make an eldest daughter's life a little easier, one step at a time.

How can women heal from their eldest daughter syndrome?

jasmin chew

After reading all this, it may seem overwhelming to recognize that you're dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Luckily, your symptoms and struggles don't have to define you because Paruolo has some key advice for healing. "Women can deal with and heal from their oldest daughter syndrome by acknowledging their real and valid experiences," she says. "We don't tell someone with a broken leg to get over it, so the same nurturing and understanding of how the eldest daughter syndrome has shaped them is essential for their journey."

There are a few ways you can truly validate these eldest daughter experiences — and work to move on from them. Paruolo suggests practicing mindfulness in order to notice what your innate behaviors are. She says, "It can be a simple three second pause with the reflective question, 'Am I placing the oxygen mask on someone else before helping myself in this moment?'" In doing this, you're able to create a space where you allow yourself to choose your own needs first — or at least start acknowledging them more clearly.

One of the biggest — and I'd say hardest — practices that Paruolo suggests? Saying no. She says that acclimating to the discomfort of setting boundaries and saying that two-letter word can really help you form better, healthier habits. I know I could definitely do this more.

Finally, Paruolo wants eldest daughters to work on reframing their self-worth. She says, "Get curious about why it's an honor to be you (because it is!) and try to separate it from the caregiver or problem-solver role you have been continuously placed in."

Elina Fairytale

If there's anything to take away from my conversation and research, I'd let it be this: your experiences as an eldest daughter are valid, and you deserve to prioritize yourself! Whether 'eldest daughter syndrome' is in a diagnostic book or not, it's clear that therapists are taking these instances seriously, honoring their clients needs — so why shouldn't you honor your own?

I don't want to end this article hypocritically. I struggle with my own eldest daughter tendencies daily, but it's helpful to know that there are very real steps I can take to make my life easier, to exhale. And maybe one day, these lived experiences we all share will be codified in the DSM-5, allowing future eldest daughters to have a clearer playbook to live by — because you know we love achievable, clear goals. 😉

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