Usually there's two sides to every breakup, but clinical psychologist Dr. Lilly Jay (and Ethan Slater's ex-wife) is showing there can be a third. As a refresher, Wicked star Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater have a very public relationship that had quite a rocky beginning. Even now, some people aren't the biggest fans of their love story — and I doubt Lilly's latest personal essay on The Cut will help.
Lilly penned a very personal account of her divorce, divulging pretty intimate details of her experience unexpectedly in the spotlight. The clinical psychologist shared what this experience (and her divorce) taught her, showing she's ready to reclaim her story in the public eye. Here are the key takeaways!
Scroll down for the key takeaways from Lilly Jay's article on her divorce from Ethan Slater!
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1. Lilly Jay initially felt blindsided by her divorce from Ethan Slater.
No one ever wants to watch the world publicly see their ex with someone else. We don't know how we'd feel if our ex decided to move on with someone as famous as Ariana Grande, but we suspect we'd want to press pause on our social media intake.
Dr. Lilly Jay added, "No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced, in the same way we don’t board a plane expecting to crash. But I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity [Ariana Grande]," (via The Cut).
2. Lilly's in the acceptance stage of her divorce with Ethan.
It can be embarrassing to watch others give their opinions about your 'failed' romantic relationship, but It's something Dr. Lilly Jay's working through. "In the countless hours I spend rocking my son to sleep, pushing his stroller, marveling at his sweaty little hands grasping a crayon, I work diligently on my private project of accepting the sudden public downfall of my marriage," she wrote. However, she's not looking to bury her head in the sand.
"This, I tell myself, is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide."
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3. Lilly Jay believes her happy ending is out there.
Some people cling to pessimism after feeling hurt by the person they love while others still look at the glass as half-full. Dr. Jay's choosing the latter which is impressive to us! She further wrote, "Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child."
That's right rockstar mom; focus on enjoying what else life has to offer!
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4. Lilly Jay does miss when her life was private.
Fully understanding Dr. Lilly Jay is a clinical psychologist, there's a certain level of disbelief at how much of the breakdown of her divorce has become public. Against her will, people found out about a delicate matter and it didn't help that the other parties involved were so giddy while she tried to make sense of what was taking place.
She said, "In this season of shock and mourning, over a year after the end of my marriage was made public, I deeply miss the life of invisibility I created for myself as a psychologist specializing in women’s mental health." Yet, she has hope that maybe something good can come from this even though she works at a "Children's Hospital."
"...while I still firmly believe in following my patients’ leads and not presuming to know what parts of my personhood resonate with them, the publicity I did not consent to increasingly feels like both a challenge and an opportunity," Dr. Jay insists.
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5. But, Lilly's taking a chance by embracing this visibility.
There's not an easy way to accept everything Dr. Lilly Jay has experienced, but we truly think she's brave for expressing her fears, vulnerability, and hope in her The Cut essay. Her final caveats? She's "okay" and wants the world to get to know her on her terms.
"You know how a sponge is most effective at absorbing liquid when it’s already a bit wet? Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, sadness that helps me hold yours."
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