Thanks to IKEA, You Can Now Build the Urban Garden of Your Dreams

Shop New IKEA Fall Decor Here!

HÖSTAGILLE

The HÖSTAGILLE collection, available August 1, features home textiles in warm autumnal colors, affordable seasonal home decor like scented candles, and elevated kitchen essentials perfect for your next fall gathering. This pie plate is just $13. Score two of the orange dish towels for $4!

This pumpkin bowl in brown glass is perfect for holding small things like your favorite Halloween candy.

A $5 cushion cover and a cotton throw turns your summer home into a warm and cozy fall retreat instantly.

IKEA tealights get a Halloween makeover for a spooky table setting.

What's a scary Halloween without a dramatic candlebra?

Serve up your best recipes in style in a large baking dish, ideal for gratins and roasts.

My daughter is obsessed with bats and will love this bat cushion cover!

KUSTFRYR Collection

Celebrate the spookiest time of the year with a Scandi vibe. Find festive lighting and decor, affordable trick-or-treat bags, and modern serving pieces in the new KUSTFRYR collection.

Get in the Halloween mood with these B&W festive pillows.

Light up your home during shorter days with LED string lights and forest-scene tealight holder.

MITTZON Collection

MITTZON, an 85-piece office collection, is perfect for the small business or WFHer. It's designed to keep the office quiet with products that absorb and block sound, keep distractions at bay, and offer much-needed privacy. Find foldable desks, adjustable standing desks, acoustic screens, and more.

HATTÅSEN Bedside Table

Find colorful pieces too for the home this fall, like this decorative side table in playful pink. It's compact, lightweight and you can move around the house for different uses.

IKEA PS 1995 clock

Also, check out the IKEA PS 1995 clock, which can hang on the wall or sit on a shelf. Open the front and store small trinket. Kids will love it!

IKEA PS 2014 Pendant lamp

The IKEA PS 2014 pendant lamp won the international design competition's Red Dot Award. You can change its shape and intensity of light by simply pulling its strings.

BADRING Smart Sensors Collection

Finally, the BADRING smart sensors collection is available now so you can have a smart home on a budget. This include the Badring Water Leak Sensor, which will let you know if you have, well, a water leak before it's too late.

RIBBA Frame

IKEA is a steal for frames compared to other frame or custom frame shops. I have been using the Ribba frame for years for large-scale prints, gallery walls, and photo-sized frames. Mix them with vintage frames and trinkets like above to add character and a little soul to your space.

FLÅDIS Basket

I use these seagrass baskets everywhere to store and hide unsightly things like laundry supplies, my daughter's toys, and even to cover planters. They're collapsible and under $10!

TORNVIKEN Kitchen Island

I was searching for a kitchen island forever until I came upon this oak one and I love it! I get compliments on it all the time from guests who are surprised it's from IKEA. There's roomy storage on the shelves on one side and legroom on the other side for bar stools. I chose Serena & Lily barstools to give the look an upgrade.

BLANDA MATT Bamboo Serving Bowl

This bamboo bowl and serving set is perfect for serving big salads while entertaining.

HILDEGUN Dish towel

I grab a few of these every time I visit IKEA. They have a French country vibe and work as dish towels or dinner napkins. The 79 cents is kind of an insane price too.

ULLERSLEV Sheepskin

This real sheepskin is the soft texture every cozy home needs. I have one draped over my daughter's desk chair, but they also look great on a dining bench or in a reading nook.

BERGPALM Duvet Cover and Pillowcases

These striped duvet cover sets are a great cotton canvas for guest, kid, and master beds. I love that they come with two shams, and I'll top them with a printed quilt from Coyuchi or patterned pillows from Coterie Brooklyn to elevate the look.

FJÄLLARNIKA Duvet Insert

IKEA is also great for duvet inserts. I say go with a mid- to higher-range here for one that has some weight and comfort.

IVRIG Glass

Stemless wine glasses, which is what I use these for, are also ideal for water and juice!

STOCKHOLM Mirror

Mirrors can be so expensive! Why?! I use this walnut veneer mirror in my bedroom, just above a walnut dresser. Love the 24-inch size.

JÄMLIK Scented Tealight

I bring a few of these out for dinner parties. The sweet vanilla scent isn't overpowering and the candles give just enough light to make it feel like a cozy and intimate occasion.

LAGKAPTEN Tabletop

I've been using this tabletop for more than 10 years! It started as a sewing table with MITTBACK trestle legs and now works as my WFH desk, holding my printer on one of the trestle legs. My daughter has an IKEA desk too that we swapped with HILVER bamboo cone-shaped legs for a modern look.

LACK Wall Shelf

I've used these floating shelves for forever too. For kitchen shelves in my junior one bedroom in San Francisco a decade ago and now in my daughter's playroom to hold all of her Legos.;)

MÅLERÅS Picture Ledge

I use these picture ledges in the kitchen to hold my IKEA wine glasses, a beautiful paddle cutting board from Crate & Barrel, and a small plant.

ÄNDLIG 3-piece knife set

These IKEA knives, also a long-term purchase, stay sharp, are comfortable to use, and are great for everyday use!

BUMERANG Hanger

Finally, these IKEA hangers are affordable and look great to streamline your closet decor. No wire hangers here!

IKEA Items I Avoid

I tend to avoid the more popular items from IKEA, such as the best-selling POÄNG Armchair. If you have one, no judgement! It's a great chair. I have a kid's one in my daughter's playroom that we inherited. But I've slowly invested in more quality pieces that feel unique and bring my joy when I walk into my main spaces.

Here are a few items I avoid:

IKEA has a lot of great mattresses, but a $100 mattress doesn't quite feel like a hundred bucks. I purchased the ÅSVANG Foam Mattress for my daughter's IKEA bunk bed, and maybe because of the slats below, it is SO uncomfortable. We use it to hold her stuffies for now and plan to add an extra foam cushion above.

I've never liked IKEA's fleece-like throw blankets made of recycled polyester. They just don't have a lot of substance and the material doesn't feel as good quality as I'd like it too.

Finally, a $10 floor lamp is going to look like a $10 floor lamp (home snob, here, sorry!). The BARLAST Floor lamp or similar is a no-go in my decor book.

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.