These Key Lime Pie Bars Are The Salty-Sweet Dessert We're Craving RN

key lime pie bars

Half Baked Harvest's Tieghan Gerard recently joined Brit on a Teach Me Something New podcast episode all about her best cooking tips. Now, she's sharing her favorite recipes with us, all originally published on Half Baked Harvest. Take it away Tieghan!

Sweet, tart, and tangy, Lemon Key Lime Pie Bars …with a vanilla butter crust and lime salt on top. These bars are much like key lime pie but made with a few upgrades. They're super easy, creamy, and made with an extra amount of tang. The filling is made with just a few simple ingredients. There are, of course, plenty of fresh limes. There's also a secret ingredient…a touch of lemon juice. The crust is rich, buttery, and full of vanilla flavor, with the perfect touch of saltiness. Put everything together and you have the most mouthwatering key lime pie bars Just sweet enough, incredibly luscious, super creamy, and perfectly tangy. Finish with lightly whipped cream and lime salt for an amazingly salty-sweet key lime pie bar.

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

Surprise! Key lime pie bars! I feel like these are maybe a bit unexpected from me? I haven't done many key lime pie recipes, so these feel very new and exciting to me. They're also perfect for the spring and summer days ahead.

As a kid, the only person I knew who loved key lime pie was my grandpa. He's always been very into key lime pie, and well, any fruit pie for that matter. But key lime and apple are two of his favorites.

I never understood either of his pie choices. I was raised to love a good, classic chocolate chip cookie pie, or a chocolate bourbon pecan pie. Yummm, right? Chocolate over key lime any day!

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

But times have changed. Over the last few years, I ventured into key lime pie territory. And while I still can't say I'd choose key lime over chocolate, I will say that it certainly has its time and place. It's actually pretty darn delicious when done right.

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

So, I've made the pie, but these bars are even more special, and for a few reasons.

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

The inspiration

Two things…fresh key limes at the grocery store, which I couldn't believe I was able to come across.

And the desperate desire to be in Key West…as the snow currently falls outside my window.

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

Onto the details…

The amazing thing about these bars? They are EASY. So easy they're hard to mess up.

You make the crust, bake, mix up a quick filling, and bake again. Then let the bars chill and top them with cream. So SIMPLE.

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

For the crust, I switched things up a bit and created a buttery, heavy on the vanilla, Ritz cracker crust. To me, this is better than a graham cracker crust any day. Simply mix the cracker crumbs with salted butter and a good splash of vanilla and bake everything up in a square baking dish. All done, super easy. That touch of vanilla and the use of salted butter are key.

But the real secret to this crust? A touch of brown sugar, which adds to that salty-sweet flavor, it's delicious.

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

While the crust is baking, make the key lime filling. I always go extra tangy with my key lime filling. And for sweetness…I try to go just sweet enough. This means heavy on the lime with one very secret but key ingredient, a splash of lemon juice. Preferably pink lemon juice but any lemon juice will do. It's an unexpected twist that makes for an even tarter key lime pie. Trust me on this. I know it's not traditional, but I promise it really does make for a better key lime pie.

Once that's mixed, bake the filling in the crust, and in 15 minutes you'll have key lime pie bars. So easy right?

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

Now finish it up…

To serve, I like to spread a delicious honey whipped cream over top with a sprinkle of fresh lime salt. Nothing fancy, but it seals the deal on these key lime pie bars.

Once chilled, the bars come out almost perfect. They have a rich, salty-sweet, and buttery brown sugar crust with the creamiest most luscious smooth key lime filling that melts in your mouth. Beyond delicious.

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

So good that we overnighted a batch to my grandpa because I just knew he'd LOVE these more than anyone.

If you want to step up your presentation game, sprinkle over some edible flowers. Either way the bars are sure to be enjoyed by all…

And they're pretty fun too!

Photo via Tieghan Gerard of Half Baked Harvest

Lastly, if you make these Lemon Key Lime Pie Bars, be sure to leave a comment and/or give this recipe a rating! Above all, I love to hear from you guys and always do my best to respond to each and every comment. And of course, if you do make this recipe, don't forget to tag me on Instagram! Looking through the photos of recipes you all have made is my favorite!


Lemon Key Lime Pie Bars

Prep Time: 15 MINUTES

Cook Time: 35 MINUTES

Chill Time: 1 HOUR 10 MINUTES

Total Time: 2 HOURS

Servings: 16 bars

Calories Per Serving: 191 kcal

Nutritional information is only an estimate. The accuracy of the nutritional information for any recipe on this site is not guaranteed.

Ingredients

  • 2 sleeves Ritz crackers
  • 2 tablespoons light or dark brown sugar
  • 1 stick (8 tablespoons) salted butter, melted
  • 3 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 5 large egg yolks
  • 1 3/4 cups sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 tablespoon lime zest, plus 2/3 cup lime juice
  • 3 tablespoons lemon or pink lemon juice (or additional lime juice)
  • 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 1-2 tablespoons honey

Lime Salt

  • zest from 1 lime
  • flaky sea salt

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 350° F. Line a 9-inch square pan with parchment paper.

2. In a food processor, pulse the crackers and brown sugar into crumbs. Add the butter and 2 teaspoons vanilla, pulse to combine. Press the mix into the prepared pan. Bake until golden, about 18 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, whisk the egg yolks in a medium bowl until smooth. Add the sweetened condensed milk, lime zest, lime juice, lemon juice, and salt. Whisk to combine. Carefully pour the mix into the baked crust.

4. Bake for 15 minutes, until just set on top. Let cool slightly, then cover and chill in the fridge until set, at least 1-2 hours.

5. Before serving, using an electric mixer to whip the cream until soft peaks form. Add the honey and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Whip to combine. Swirl the cream onto the bars. In a bowl, mix the lime zest and a pinch of flaky salt. Sprinkle over the bars. Slice and enjoy! The bars will keep chilled in the fridge for up to 5 days.

Thanks Tieghan!

This recipe was originally published on Half Baked Harvest.

Check out our Teach Me Something New podcast episode with Half Baked Harvest's Tieghan Gerard for more food inspo.

Share your sweet creations with us @BritandCo and tag @HalfBakedHarvest! While you're at it, don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more recipe inspo.

This post has been updated.

I have to be very, very careful when I cross paths with Trader Joe’s bakery section. From their Sea Salt Brownie Bites to their Chocolate Brooklyn Babka, sometimes my sweet tooth is too strong to not add a dessert (or two!) to my cart.

This dilemma is especially prevalent around the holiday season – the famed grocery chain just dropped some irresistible sweet treats like Teeny Tiny Pecan Pies andPetit Fours, for which I am so grateful.

But there’s one brand-new treat I truly cannot deny, and it’s downright perfect for every seasonal occasion, from cozy Christmas movie nights to holiday parties.

Trader Joe's

Trader Joe’s new Gingerbread Sandwich Cookies have started a riot amongst TJ’s fanatics like me. And what’s not to love about them? They boast two “perfectly spiced, luxuriously soft-textured, rich and molasses-y” cookies that house a deliciously-sweet vanilla frosting.

I’m a massive fan of Little Debbie’s everything, and this version is an undeniable step-up from their beloved Oatmeal Creme Pies (IYKYK).

TJ’s fan account @trader_joes_treasure_hunt highlighted the Gingerbread Sandwich Cookies on their page, and tons of followers chimed in on just how good they are.

“These are my favorite holiday cookies ever,” one commenter wrote.

“Omg this is my kryptonite,” another said.

“They go down like water,” someone else commented.

The Trader Joe’s Gingerbread Sandwich Cookies go for $5.99 for 9 bodaciously icing-stuffed treats (score!). Whether you bring them to the company Christmas party or a gals-only potluck this year, they’re sure to deliver holiday joy at a quality reminiscent of your local bakery.

Subscribe to our newsletter to discover more Trader Joe's hidden gems!

I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

Subscribe to our newsletter to read up on more food news + trends!

Between the stuffing, the mashed potatoes, the rolls, and the green bean casserole, it's quite the feat when you manage to leave room for pumpkin pie after aThanksgivingfeast. Luckily, dessert options that are healthy and delicious run rampant, and you'll want to make sure to save some room for a bite of each.

From Paleo pies to dairy-free ice creams, here are 20 healthy Thanksgiving desserts to please everyone at your table, regardless of their diet.

Brit + Co

Mini Chocolate-Pecan Pies

These smaller portions of chocolate pecan pie make snacking on something sweet way healthier and more realistic than reaching for an actual slice. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Sweet Potato Parfait

You'll get a little bit of sweet and a little bit of savory with this aesthetically-pleasing Thanksgiving dessert. (via Brit + Co)

Brit + Co

Double Chocolate Banana Pumpkin Bread

Though layered with chocolate, banana bread does have bananas in it, so that means it's healthy, right? (via Brit + Co)

Delicious Knowledge

Pumpkin Donuts with Pecan Frosting

No one can ever say no to a donut, and these can even double-duty as breakfast the morning after Thanksgiving. (via Delicious Knowledge)

Half Baked Harvest

Mini Chocolate Pumpkin Seed Candy Peanut Butter Cups

Who said Thanksgiving dessert had to be pie? Snack on these homemade Reese’s cups while you play games after dinner. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Natural Girl Modern World

Pumpkin Pie Parfait with Coconut Whipped Cream

The most “difficult” part of this recipe is the 24-hour wait to dig in, but don’t worry — this layered gluten-free and vegan dessert is a great way to tap into your creative skills. (via Natural Girl Modern World)

Bakerita

Paleo Pecan Pie

You won’t be in a sugar coma after a slice (or two!) of this paleo pecan pie. Coconut oil and almond flour make this a delicious grain-free and dairy-free dessert. (via Bakerita)

Healthy Maven

Spiralized Apple Crumble

Instead of spending all your time chopping apples for a healthy Thanksgiving dessert, cut your time in half by spiralizing them for a quick and healthy apple crumble. It’s sure to be a huge hit and is *totally* Instagram-worthy. (via Healthy Maven)

Joyful Healthy Eats

No-Bake Pumpkin Cheesecake with Gingersnap Pecan Crust

Make these a few days in advance to take the stress out of the entire Thanksgiving dinner event. (via Joyful Healthy Eats)

Gourmande in the Kitchen

Coconut Caramel Pecan Bars

These vegan and gluten-free bars look and taste fancy, but are a total breeze to make. (via Gourmande in the Kitchen)

Twin Stripe

Gluten-Free Apple Berry Crumble

Apple pie is so 2014. Instead, make a gluten-free crumble with those apples for a dessert that everyone can enjoy! (via Twin Stripe)

Amy’s Healthy Baking

Maple Cupcakes with Pumpkin Pie Frosting

No one will guess that these cupcakes are healthy and gluten-free. Serving cupcakes will keep you from having to wash extra plates and forks, too. (via Amy’s Healthy Baking)

Bakerita

Paleo Pumpkin Pie

Traditional pumpkin pie isn’t gluten-free or paleo. Swap it out for this pie that’s free of dairy and refined sugar, and healthy enough to have for breakfast the day after Thanksgiving. (via Bakerita)

Hungry Happenings

Cocoa Banana Ice Cream Turkeys

Banana ice cream is vegan and gluten-free, and won’t have you missing traditional pumpkin pie. You can have your turkey and eat it too with this adorable dessert, no matter if you’re a carnivore or not! (via Hungry Happenings)

Clean Raw Living

Vegan Mini Pumpkin Cheesecakes

Can you believe raw, vegan cheesecake is a thing? These are perfect for a treat everyone can enjoy, no matter what kind of diet they may follow. (via Clean Raw Living)

The Real Food Dietitians

Gluten-Free Healthy Carrot Cake Bars

Loaded with freshly grated carrots, warm spices, and a velvety cream cheese drizzle, this treat is all about indulgence without all the guilt. (via The Real Food Dietitians)

Clean Cuisine

Gingerbread Loaf

Deck the halls with boughs of gingerbread! This gingerbread loaf is a slice of holiday happiness that'll transport you straight to a cozy winter wonderland. (via Clean Cuisine)

Crowded Kitchen

Granola Cookies

Packed with oats, nuts, and your choice of mix-ins, they're a crowd-pleaser that can be customized to perfection. These cookies offer a delightful crunch in every bite, and you can even make them ahead of time to ease your Thanksgiving prep. (via Crowded Kitchen)

A Virtual Vegan

Dark Chocolate Hummus

Creamy, dreamy, and oh-so-decadent, this dessert dip will leave your guests swooning. It's the perfect blend of healthy and indulgent, making it a delightful surprise on your Thanksgiving table. (via A Virtual Vegan)

Whole and Heavenly Oven

Browned Butter Banana Zucchini Cake

The browned butter in this healthy Thanksgiving dessert adds a rich, nutty note, while the bananas and zucchini keep it moist and sweet. This dessert is a Thanksgiving game-changer that'll have your family begging for seconds. (via Whole and Heavenly Oven)

Where Is My Spoon?

Zucchini Bundt Cake

This beauty is all about turning a humble veggie into a dessert masterpiece. With its stunning spiral shape and tender crumb, it's a showstopper that'll have everyone reaching for another slice! (via Where Is My Spoon?)

Vanilla and Bean

Blueberry Galette

Bursting with plump, juicy blueberries and encased in a flaky, buttery crust, this treat is the perfect balance of sweet and tangy. Try serving it warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream or dusted with powdered sugar! (via Vanilla and Bean)

Gastroplant

Orange and Prune Scones

These are perfect bites for breakfast or as a charming addition to your Thanksgiving brunch spread. (via Gastroplant)

Subscribe to our newsletter for more Thanksgiving hosting ideas!

This post has been updated, featuring former reporting from Kaitlyn Ingram and Cassandra Pisone.

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

www.tiktok.com

Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

www.instagram.com

In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

youtube.com

- YouTube

When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!