4 Women Who Are Leading the Way in the Wine Industry

Nine times out of 10, you never want to see shattered glass and wine in the same sentence. However, when you’re talking about women shattering the glass ceiling of the wine industry, it’s an entirely different thing. We’ve spoken with several creative, passionate, smart, and resourceful women in wine — from the winery-owning McBride sisters (whose story is truly magical) to the San Francisco sommelier Chaylee Priete — who are doing the hard work to diversify the male-dominated industry. One winery in particular, La Crema, is leading the charge as a woman-owned company employing women in their senior roles. We chatted with four of the extraordinary ladies from this winery to get their take on the challenges of being a woman in the field, the hectic harvest season, and sniffing spices in the grocery store.

Jen Walsh, winemaker

Brit + Co: How did you get started in wine? Was winemaking always something that interested you?

Jen Walsh: I came to winemaking a little later in life, and I have been making wine for over 15 years now. After working as a filmmaker for a few years, it finally occurred to me that winemaking could actually be a career path. I began working at a small Maryland winery, and then moved to California to get a graduate degree in Viticulture and Enology. The university provided a great foundation, but becoming a skilled winemaker takes a lot of training and hard work, and I worked with many small Pinot Noir producers around the world to learn the craft. Having diverse winemaking experiences with good mentors is essential, and I certainly use those skills every day at La Crema.

B+C: As a winemaker, we imagine your day-to-day drastically varies depending on the season. Is that true?

JW: In the summer, I spend most of my time outside, walking our vineyards to make sure they are healthy and to see how the grapes are maturing. Once harvest begins, much of my time is spent deciding when to bring grapes into the winery and what to do with them once they arrive. Most weeks during harvest, I’ll be up at 5am and in bed around 11pm. Tasting is also a big part of my job. I taste tanks of fermenting grapes, I taste barrels to see how the wine is developing, and then I will taste wines to decide how to blend them before bottling — it’s very much a “hands-on” job.

B+C: What’s a major misconception you’ve seen about women working in the wine industry?

JW: Much of the work in a cellar is very physical, and the environment can be cold, wet, and dirty. There are pumps and compressors, and all sorts of equipment that needs to be maintained or repaired. As a result, occasionally there is a misconception that women aren’t strong enough to do the job, or that we don’t have the aptitude to drive a forklift or repair a pump. For this reason, it seems that many women take jobs in the winery lab, which can perhaps mean that they may not have the same opportunity to broaden their winemaking skills.

B+C: What are some of your best wine tips for the novices among us?

JW: Many people seem to overbook themselves when visiting wine country. Wine tasting should be a fun and relaxing activity, and rushing around from one tasting appointment to another is stressful! I would select a maximum of three tasting rooms to visit, with a long, leisurely lunch in-between wineries.

Maura Mazzoni, tasting room manager

Brit + Co: Can you talk about your personal professional path that brought you to La Crema?

Maura Mazzoni: Growing up here in Sonoma County, I was very conscious of the unique and exceptional place I called home, and as I began college I knew that I wanted to work in an industry that afforded me the ability the stay, play, and be successful in Sonoma County. Graduating from Sonoma State University with a Bachelor’s degree in Business with a concentration in Wine Business Strategies seemed natural. Traveling the next two years for work during harvest in wine cellars from Chile to New Zealand and back to this area didn’t seem natural at all, but I was hooked on the lifestyle. Quickly realizing my winemaking skills were not as strong as my ability to convey the wines, regions, and people that are wine, I made the switch from cellar work to direct-to-consumer sales, and so began my journey in tasting rooms. Since returning from maternity leave, I have had the pleasure of overseeing the opening of the new La Crema Estate at Saralee’s Vineyard for the last year and a half.

Brit + Co: The wine industry is a mysterious one — it’s hard to know what jobs are available. It’s cool to see you putting a business degree to work at a winery. Can you tell us a little more about what a Tasting Room Manager does, day-to-day?

MM: As the Tasting Room Manager for our La Crema Estate, I am responsible for the day-to-day operations of one of the most iconic tasting rooms in the heart of the Russian River Valley. I am responsible for hiring and inspiring new wine educators, creating new guest experiences that showcase all 260 acres of our sustainably farmed Estate, sourcing cheese orders from local purveyors that highlight our wines, partnering with our culinary team to cater all exclusive La Crema Member events, as well as attend monthly business reviews to report out all updates regarding the DTC (direct-to-consumer) business with the winemaking, marketing, and executive teams.

B+C: What is one misconception you’ve seen about working in the wine industry?

MM: One of the biggest misconceptions about the wine industry is that “you will be rich if you work in wine.” Although some have seen major success in our industry, the true wealth of the wine industry comes in the form of a lifestyle. If you work in wine, you are a steward of the land that provides fruit to be enjoyed as a luxury. You are a farmer. You are the gatekeeper of vintages past and present. You are a historian. You are a local ambassador of adventures that should be discovered. You are a professional concierge. You are an educator. You are a memory maker. For me, all those things combined make those of us lucky enough to work in wine “rich,” indeed.

B+C: What are some of your best wine tips for the novices among us?

MM: Visit on a weekday and let your wine educator be your guide. A well-rounded tasting room associate with enough time will be able to establish your comfort with wine, detect what styles of wines you enjoy, how you enjoy them, and your desired price range within a few moments of greeting you. From there, your wine educator will quickly tailor their portfolio to best fulfill your needs and enhance your personalized tasting experience.

Debra Charest, Senior Brand Manager

Brit + Co: What exactly does a Senior Brand Manager do?

Debra Charest: At La Crema, I’m responsible for developing and executing national brand strategy, which includes forecasting, positioning, pricing, packaging, promotion, and a lot more. To do this, I get to work with all departments, from winemaking to sales, as well as the executive team and key members of the company. I also get to travel a bit for various reasons like market surveys, wholesaler education, and to meet with vendors in fun cities like NYC and Miami. I’m based in an office in Santa Rosa, California, but my favorite place to work is at the winery just down the road, with views of the vineyard, alongside our winemakers and tasting room teams who are interacting with our guests every day.

B+C: Before you got into wine, did you have any preconceived notions about the industry?

DC: Before I started working in the wine industry I thought that there were two types of wineries: tiny, mom and pop wineries that made 300-400 cases of each vintage; and huge conglomerate companies that mass-produced wine. In fact, there’s a wide spectrum of producers, making wine that appeals to all levels of consumers, from entry-level to esoteric. I’m so proud to work for a winery that leads with the vineyard, with a range of offerings that express the varying terroir of our estate vineyard sites from Sonoma Coast to Monterey and all the way up to the Willamette Valley in Oregon.

B+C: What are some of your best wine tips for the novices among us?

DC: My best advice is to ask for a recommendation! Whether you’re in a restaurant, a wine shop, or at a tasting, don’t hesitate to ask questions. And never decide that you don’t like a specific variety — the great thing about wine is that the same variety can be very different depending on many factors like where it’s grown, the vintage year, and the winemaker’s vision.

Samantha Poehlman, Assistant Winemaker

Brit + Co: Can you talk about your personal professional path that brought you to La Crema?

Samantha Poehlman: I went to school knowing that I wanted to do something in the Food Sciences. My Microbiology courses, in particular, piqued my interest, and I decided to focus my education on Fermentation Microbiology. After growing up in the Midwest, I decided it was time to try my hand at fermenting something other than dairy.

B+C: Is there a particular part of winemaking that you feel most passionate about?

SP: Throughout the fall, it’s “go time!” Harvest is always my favorite time of the year since it can only happen once annually, you only get one shot to get it right, and every year is a little different. And the most rewarding part of my job is watching the evolution of the grapes we’ve tended as they become wine through the fermentation process. I also really love the creative aspect that comes from blending trials, where we craft our final wines from a blend of different vineyards and plots.

B+C: We’ve asked your colleagues so we have to ask you too — what’s the biggest misconception about working in the wine industry?

SP: That we drink all day! And, yes, it really is work, haha.

B+C: What are some of your best wine tips for the novices among us?

SP: My best “insider” tip is, KEEP TASTING! Taste different teas, beers, spirits, foods, etc. Don’t limit yourself to just wine, or to just what you think you like. Taste with different people. Everyone has different experiences and perhaps has tasted or smelled something you haven’t, so build off of their vocabulary. Tasting is more intimidating than it should be. If someone uses an analogy of a food or spice that you haven’t been exposed to, jot it down and seek it out! I used to make a list and take it the grocery store and smell my way through the bulk spice section to calibrate my vocabulary and increase my arsenal of descriptions.

If you could work in any area of the wine industry, what would it be? Tweet us @BritandCo and let us know what you’d do!

(Photos via La Crema Winery)

Sometimes we're looking for love in all the wrong places — and sometimes we're just looking for love in all the wrong ways. That's where your rising sign can come in. In this week's Ask An Astrologer column with Lumi Pelinku, our reader feels like they just can't find their footing romantically. Luckily, Lumi has the best relationship advice — and it all starts with your rising sign! Here's how you can use your own rising sign to level up your romantic life!

Juan Pablo Serrano

Dear Lumi: Will I ever be worthy of being loved romantically? I have never been in a relationship, and I’m scared I will never be. I have so much love to give, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the chance to show it.

Bean, Illinois

  • Sun sign: Virgo
  • Rising sign: Cancer
  • Moon sign: Gemini

Yuri Manei

Dear Virgo: I understand where you're coming from, as many people feel this way these days. Here’s a little personal story from my journey: In my early 20s, I was pretty inexperienced in love and pressured by societal expectations to settle down by 30. Sigh...

I went to great lengths to attract a partner, even dabbling in spells and misleading manifestation techniques. Please tread carefully if you're trying this. Instead of finding true love, I drew a series of “ghosts” and situationships. I felt I had so much love to offer, but it all led to emptiness and eventually a toxic relationship with someone I thought was my soulmate, but turned out to be my karmic partner. There’s more to this story, but let’s save it for another time.

The end of that relationship led me to discover the essence of self-love and self-acceptance, eventually stepping into my own worth. Astrology has become a guiding light for me in that regard — and can be for you, too.

​Let’s Talk About Your Rising Sign & How It Defines Your Relationship Standards

Luke Miller

In astrology, examining your rising sign can offer profound insights. With Cancer rising, your soul yearns for deep, emotional connections. Creating a biological or soul family may bring you joy and fulfillment. Opposite Cancer is Capricorn, which governs the 7th house of your birth chart — the area that reveals the type of partners you need and what you should embody to feel complete, whether you’re with someone or not. A Capricorn-ruled 7th house suggests that a structured, secure, and straightforward partner will align with your needs. If you find yourself in a relationship that feels stagnant or uncertain from the start, it’s a sign that you’re not embodying Capricorn’s qualities, and it might be time to move on.

Arina Krasnikova

Your natural tendency to give and care deeply for others stems from a place of genuine concern and desire to ensure everyone’s well-being. However, it’s crucial for you to seek security from within. Feeling at home in your skin and living in the moment are great starting points.

Avoid individuals who offer unrequited love or broken promises. You may have an intuitive sense that you might overlook — trust it. By becoming more aware of your physical and emotional responses to others, you can discern between genuine connections and energy-draining situations. Establishing a practice of quiet reflection and observation can facilitate understanding the root of your heightened emotions.

Cliff Booth

The core message here is to build security within yourself and extend grace and understanding to yourself throughout your journey. It’s perfectly okay to be single right now; you're worthy of attracting a partner who will cherish all of you. To find the love of your life, you must first love yourself — not in a self-centered way, but by honoring your own needs and boundaries. Saying no to situations and people not aligning with your sensitive soul will make you stronger than you realize. The Universe will respond with an endearing relationship by practicing this because you’ve learned to honor yourself.

With Love and Stars,

Lumi

​How Your Rising Sign Cultivates Self-Acceptance and Attracts the Love You Need

Alexander Mass

Like an outfit, your rising sign showcases your personality, identity, and perception of the world. What if I tell you that the rising sign can also attract the love you need in your journey? Think of your rising sign as your energy and how you embody it. It's the mirror we carry, and by our energy, we can keep it clean and pristine or murky and distorted. Sometimes, we cannot stand what we see in ourselves, and that channeled energy emanates outward, creating distortion-filled experiences. When this happens, you lose your 'main character' energy, which results in you leaving your life to chance rather than writing your chapters. When you embody complete self-acceptance and happiness within yourself, these are the key ingredients in powering up your rising sign and your 7th house.

As you begin to feel at peace, love, and harmony to the best of your ability, this will attract what you desire in your life and in love. The world will respond and reflect back all that we project. It’s that simple. Our rising sign is responsible for this active energy, and learning how to master it, will be the key to help you understand the nature of your personality while also attracting your dreams. The ascendant is the portal of your experiences, good and bad. Now that we understand the gist of the rising sign, let's explore your rising sign and how you can tap into your main character energy.

​Love Alchemy: How Your Rising Sign Shapes Relationships

Brit + Co

Aries Rising

Aries Rising radiates a bold, adventurous energy, often attracting equally spirited partners. To attract the love of their life, they should embrace their assertiveness and passion. By channeling the competitive energy of their 7th house (Libra), they can cultivate harmony in relationships without sacrificing their individuality. Self-acceptance means recognizing their fierce independence while being open to collaboration and compromise. The dynamic energy of Mars empowers them to attract a partner who admires their fiery spirit yet values partnership.

Brit + Co

Taurus Rising

Grounded and sensual, Taurus Rising can attract lasting love through their nurturing nature. Their 7th house energy in Scorpio encourages depth and intensity in relationships. To manifest their ideal partner, Taurus Rising must embrace their inner beauty and the pleasure of self-care. By embodying their desire for stability and security, they can project an aura of comfort and reliability, making them irresistible to those seeking genuine connections. Venus, their ruling planet, enhances their allure, helping them draw the right kind of love.

Brit + Co

Gemini Rising

With a quick wit and charm, Gemini Rising attracts partners through intellectual stimulation. Their 7th house in Sagittarius encourages exploration and adventure. To attract their soulmate, they should openly embrace their duality and communicate their needs and desires. Their self-acceptance journey involves acknowledging their inquisitiveness while finding ways to ground themselves in relationships. Mercury, their ruling planet, sharpens their communication skills, enabling them to draw in a partner who shares their passion for life and learning.

Brit + Co

Cancer Rising

Cancer Rising embodies warmth and nurturing energy, making them deeply appealing to potential partners. Their 7th house in Capricorn requires a balance between emotional depth and practical commitment. To attract a lasting love, Cancer Rising should accept their need for security while being open to vulnerability. Utilizing their emotional intelligence to discern their connections creates a safe space for love to flourish. The Moon, their ruling planet, enhances their intuition and empathy, helping them attract a partner who values their nurturing nature and ambition.

Brit + Co

Leo Rising

Confident and charismatic, Leo Rising draws people in with their radiant energy. Their 7th house in Aquarius encourages them to seek uniqueness in relationships. To draw in the love they need, Leo Rising must embody self-love while giving space for individuality. By embracing their creativity and leading with generosity, the Sun, their ruling planet, inspires them to attract a partner who appreciates their vibrant spirit and shares their vision for a progressive, loving partnership.

Brit + Co

Virgo Rising

Practical and detail-oriented, Virgo Rising has a unique charm that attracts partners seeking stability and support. Their 7th house in Pisces invites them to explore relationships' emotional and spiritual aspects. Virgo Rising should love their imperfections and the beauty of vulnerability to attract an epic partnership. By cultivating self-acceptance and finding joy in the little things, Mercury, their ruling planet, helps them draw in a partner who appreciates their grounded nature while encouraging emotional exploration.

Brit + Co

Libra Rising

Charming and harmonious, Libra Rising attracts partners through their innate ability to create beauty and balance. Their 7th house in Aries prompts them to be more assertive in love. Libra Rising must embrace the desire for partnership to attract their ideal partner while also recognizing the importance of self-identity. Being bold in expressing their needs will ignite their main character energy, as Venus, their ruling planet, empowers them to draw in a partner who values connection and independence.

Brit + Co

Scorpio Rising

Intense and magnetic, Scorpio Rising naturally attracts people with their enigmatic presence. Their 7th house in Taurus urges them to seek relationship stability and loyalty. Scorpio Rising should tap into their emotional depth and learn to communicate openly to attract the love they desire. Valuing their worth is vital to mastering their life path. By engaging in self-love and finding a balance between their passionate nature and a desire for security, Pluto and Mars, their ruling planets, will manifest in attracting a partner who appreciates their intensity and commitment.

Brit + Co

Sagittarius Rising

Adventurous and free-spirited, Sagittarius Rising attracts partners through their love of exploration and philosophy. Their 7th house in Gemini encourages communication and curiosity in relationships. To attract their ideal love, Sagittarius Rising has to tap into their quest for knowledge while remaining open to commitment. By cultivating self-worth and expressing their authentic self, Jupiter, their ruling planet, guides them in drawing in a partner who shares their passion for adventure and intellectual pursuits.

Brit + Co

Capricorn Rising

Disciplined and ambitious, Capricorn Rising manifests partnerships through their drive and determination. Their 7th house in Cancer encourages them to explore emotional depth in relationships. To attract lasting love, Capricorn Rising should tap into their nurturing side and allow themselves to be vulnerable. By practicing self-love while balancing their ambitions with emotional availability, Saturn, their ruling planet, aids them in attracting a partner who admires their strength while valuing emotional connection.

Brit + Co

Aquarius Rising

Innovative and independent, Aquarius Rising draws in partners with their unique perspectives and humanitarian spirit. Their 7th house in Leo invites them to ignite creativity and passion in relationships. Aquarius Rising must acknowledge their desire for freedom while recognizing the value of connection to attract the love they desire. By embodying their authentic and unique self, Uranus, their ruling planet, inspires them to draw in a partner who appreciates their individuality and shares their vision for a better world.

Brit + Co

Pisces Rising

Dreamy and compassionate, Pisces Rising attracts partners through their empathetic and intuitive nature. Their 7th house in Virgo encourages them to seek practicality and service in relationships. To attract true love, it's vital for Pisces Rising to embrace their sensitivity while grounding themselves in reality. By practicing self-love and setting healthy boundaries, Neptune and Jupiter, their ruling planets, will manifest a partner who appreciates their depth and aligns with their desire for meaningful connections.

Katerina Holmes

Understanding your rising sign can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth. Exploring your ascendant's unique traits and energies will help you get to know yourself and all its shades and how you navigate love and relationships. This awareness empowers you to embrace your authentic self and enables you to identify patterns that may hold you back. As you align with your rising sign's essence and ruling planet, you can cultivate more happiness and confidence, opening pathways to attract meaningful connections and experiences that resonate with your true essence. Embracing your rising sign invites you to step into your main character energy, allowing you to write your story with intention and authenticity.

Want to find out how astrology can be the guiding tool to self-acceptance and fulfillment? Click here and claim your copy of Lumi's Beginner's Astrology Book.

For more astrology advice, be sure to Ask Lumi for advice, and follow the conversation on Facebook!

Last night I realized I was pregnant during the height of the pandemic and the 2020 election cycle, but I didn't have any self-care practices in sight. I was chronically stressed and spent way too much time on social media when I should've been finding ways to ground myself. After a tough four years of navigating everything from motherhood to starting my career, I've finally started utilizing gratitude journaling as a tool to get through tough days.

I don't know how you may be feeling today, but I've created journal prompts you can refer to when you're scared, anxious, unsure of the future, and more. They're not meant to replace meditation or seeking therapy, but they are here for moments you need to check in with yourself.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Worried About The Future

Arina Krasnikova

Write Down 5 Things You're Grateful You Can See, Touch, Hear, And Smell

This is actually a practice I picked up in therapy to help redirect my anxious thoughts. It's something I often refer to when I'm fixated on the future and things that might happen. Any time you feel yourself not being present because you're worried about what's next, focus on things that are immediately in front of you or around you.

For example, here's what's reminding me to be present:

  • I can hear one of my favorite gospel songs playing and the subtle humming I'm doing.
  • I can see two lime green books on my desk.
  • I can smell the clean laundry my fiancé took out of the dryer.
  • I'm touching the keys on my keyboard as I type this.
Although they seem small, I'm grateful they're helping to keep me rooted in the present moment. So, what are you grateful you can see, touch, hear, and smell today?

Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Experiencing Sadness

Darina Belonogova

Write Down 3 Things You're Grateful For Today

Practicing gratitude when you're sad isn't so you can pretend the sadness doesn't exist. It's a very real emotion that calls for us to be curious about why we're feeling that way. However, if you feel like you're 'stuck' in your sadness, you can try writing down 3 things you're grateful for right now. Again, they don't have to be grandiose. They just have to make sense to you.

You could be grateful for:

  • Eating a delicious meal
  • Having a good night's sleep
  • Hearing your favorite song at the right moment
  • Morning snuggles with your pet or toddler
  • Having access to binge watch your favorite TV show when you need to escape reality for a bit

Antoni Shkraba

Write Down The People You're Grateful You Can Rely On

My hope is that everyone has at least one person they can rely on during difficult moments in life. I know everyone doesn't have huge villages for different reasons, but I'd rather focus on who is there.

This gratitude journaling idea doesn't require you to go in depth about why you're grateful for the people in your corner unless you want to. You can simply write their names down if that's all you have the bandwidth for.

Pavel Danilyuk

Recount A Memory That Always Makes You Smile

When in doubt, think about a moment that was hilarious or filled you with joy. It can be from your childhood, first year in college, or even your wedding day! The one memory that always makes me smile is from an interesting moment I told one of my uncles he looked like Santa Claus. I was around 5 or 6 years old, so it was a super innocent comment, but still it was hilarious nonetheless. No one in my family has let my uncle or me forget that moment. It's small, but it's one of the memories I'm grateful I can remember when I'm feeling sad.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You Feel You're Not Doing Enough

Antoni Shkraba

Write Down 1 Thing You've Grateful You've Accomplished

I know some journal prompts ask you to list multiple things you've recently accomplished, but I've found that makes me a little more anxious that necessary. If this sounds like you, I see you and think it's just as impactful to be grateful for one thing you've done that you're proud of. It could be as simple as:

  • "I had the strength to get out of bed today after wanting to do nothing more than hide under the covers."
  • "I did laundry and put everything away."
  • "I made myself a meal instead of ordering lunch like I usually do."
  • "I stuck to my budget this week."
  • "My presentation at work or school went really well."
  • "I made that scary phone call I've been putting off."
  • "I went for a walk around my neighborhood or local park."

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We live in a "post your relationship so we know it's real" landscape, and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't made me wonder if there's a larger conversation to be had about it. Some people don't feel the need to post their romantic partner while others share their relationships in a way that rivals the best celebrity couples.

Everyone's different, but it's not not unheard of to question your partner's devotion if they're not posting you on Instagram. You may feel justified in your anger because "so and so" are always in cute pictures and videos together on social media — but are your feelings valid? The best person to answer this is licensed therapist Suzette Bray, LMFT. She has over 25 years of specializing in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and she's seen this topic come up plenty of times during sessions with clients, so grab a pen and paper to take notes!

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

Afif Ramdhasuma

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

Katrin Bolovtsova

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

RDNE Stock project

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

Budgeron Bach

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Fábio Carvalho

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

Timur Weber

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

Vlada Karpovich

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

If you feel that your partner doesn't post you enough on social media, talk to them before launching into an angsty rant because your assumptions might not always be right. I wish someone would've shared this advice 10 years ago, but all that matters is knowing you don't have to let being upset about your partner's lack of relationship posts be the reason your day is ruined.

The problem arises when your partner doesn't seem receptive to talking about your concerns because dismissive or evasive attitudes are a no-no!

We have more relationship advice if you're looking for more romantic tips and tricks!

In all honestly, all I look forward to during the holidays (other than my fam) is the pie. There's pumpkin pie. Apple pie. Chocolate pie. Sweet potato pie. But more than any other dessert, pecan piejust gets me. I'm salivating as I'm thinking about it!

Anywho... making an entire pecan pie can become a whole ordeal very quickly. That's where these delicious pecan pie bars from Chahinez with Lifestyle of a Foodiestep in. They're simple to make, plus provide the ideal eating experience – pecan pie bars easily qualify under finger foods, and they are downright addictive.

Let's get into the recipe!

Ingredients For Easy Pecan Pie Bars

Lifestyle of a Foodie

For the shortbread crust:

  • ½ cup butter
  • ¼ cup granulated sugar
  • ¼ teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 2 tablespoon cornstarch

For the pecan pie filling:

  • 2 eggs
  • ¾ cup brown sugar
  • ½ cup light corn syrup
  • ¼ cup heavy cream
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon cornstarch
  • 1 & ½ cup pecans chopped

How To Make Easy Pecan Pie Bars

Lifestyle of a Foodie

  1. Preheat the oven to 325 F, then line an 8x8 pan with parchment paper and set aside.
  2. In a large bowl, add in the flour, salt, cornstarch, and mix. Add in the cold butter and work it into the dough with your hand or a pastry cutter until cookie dough forms. Press it onto the prepared baking pan and bake for 20 minutes.
  3. In a separate large bowl, mix the eggs, brown sugar, light corn syrup, heavy cream, salt, vanilla extract, and cornstarch until combined. Stir in the pecan pieces.
  4. Once the crust is done baking, pour the pecan pie filling on top of the crust and bake for 30-35 minutes. The edges will brown a little, and the center will be barely jiggly.
  5. Remove from the oven, and let cool completely before transferring to chill in the fridge for at least 30 minutes. Slice the bars and serve.

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Recipe + photography by Lifestyle of a Foodie.

This post has been updated.

The rush of the holidays and planning the perfect holiday feast is no joke — finding the best Thanksgiving cocktails, roasting a delicious turkey and, of course, getting creative with leftovers — it all makes it hard to kick back and relax. We think you should find a moment for yourself (or with a few pals) and celebrate the wonderful flavors we love so much this time of year.

Instead of going for the tired pumpkin spice latte, think more along the lines of a boozyfall cocktail. Picture bourbon cocktails with cinnamon, caramel, apple… you know, all the autumn classics. We don't recommend sampling these Thanksgiving cocktails all in one night, but let's just say it'll be difficult to only choose one. We can't wait to try these Thanksgiving cocktails!

Brit + Co

Nespresso White Russian

Combining booze with coffee makes it somewhat more acceptable to knock one back during that late-morning, gathering-before-dinner time period, no? We love any excuse to get cozy with Nespresso, and this White Russian concoction will have you feeling all the warm, Thanksgiving-y vibes.

Brit + Co

S'moretini

Whether it's too cold to sit outside and snack on some s'mores, or you don't have a fire pit to roast marshmallows (although Gilmore Girlsdid show us how to use our stovetops...), this Thanksgiving cocktail is a great alternative to the sticky dessert. The chocolate andgraham cracker coating on the rim is just the cherry on top!

Brit + Co

Rum Toddy

This cocktail recipe is great because there's a good chance you already have the majority of the ingredients in your kitchen! Just put everything you need in a thermos, stir it up, and you're good to go. Not only will toddies keep you warm on cold days, but they're good for sore throats and fighting the chills if you're feeling a lil' under the weather.

Brit + Co

Cranberry Pear Ginger Fizz

Swap your cranberry sauce for a cranberry cocktail complete with ginger beer, pears, and limes. Make sure you keep some whole cranberries and rosemary sprigs for the finishing touch. Even if you've never made cocktails before, this drink is so easy that anyone can make it!

Brit + Co

Clementine Whiskey Smash

Sweet clementine juice and rich whiskey are the perfect match in this fun Thanksgiving drink, plus you can adjust the amount of whiskey that goes in depending on how strong you'd like the drink. Go easy for a fresh taste or add a bit more if you want something warmer.

Brit + Co

Wild Turkey Cocktails

Now, we know what you're thinking: "there is no way I'm drinking a cocktail that has turkey in it." But you don't have to worry because the 'wild turkey' in this recipe actually comes from Wild Turkey American Honey! Make one for an afternoon apéritif or an evening drink once the kids have gone to bed. Now the only question is, who let the (wild) turkeys out?!

Brit + Co

Pumpkin Spice Hot Chocolate

We're suckers for all things pumpkin spice, and Thanksgiving is the perfect time to indulge in a little PSL-inspired boozy bevvy. This Pumpkin Spice Hot Chocolate is super easy to make — and even easier to devour.

Brit + Co

Cranberry Is The New Black Cocktail

From cranberry sauce to cranberry garlands, this red berry is definitely a holiday season staple – and now you can add it to yourbar cart! Think of this drink as an upgraded vodka cranberry, with a more sophisticated look. If you're not able to get black vodka, just sub black food coloring to achieve the same finished product.

Brit + Co

Chai Hot Toddy

If you're not a huge pumpkin person, then you have to try this spiced, creamy Thanksgiving cocktail while you wait for eggnog season. Your classic chai gets a makeover with some spiced rum and cinnamon-infused milk (YUM!) that give it a whole new holiday edge. You can also experiment with different spices and adding in a shot of espresso to change things up.

Brit + Co

Apple Cide-car Cocktail

As far as we're concerned, apple cider season should last all winter long. This easy cocktail only has four ingredients (apple cider, brandy, Cointreau, and lemon juice) which means there's no excuse to not have this on your Thanksgiving menu! Need a simple alternative for the under-21 crew? Nix the alcohol, but keep the glasses for an upscale apple cider mocktail.

Brit + Co

Convergent Opera Cake Cocktail

This cold brew concoction is perfect for getting you buzzed in more than one way. It's the perfect after-dinner dose of caffeine you need to avoid a food coma, but it'll also give you all the Thanksgiving feels.

Brit + Co

Cranberry Zinger Jam Jar Cocktail

We love jam and we love cocktails, so why not put them together? This cranberry zinger (which is basically the queen of mixed Thanksgiving cocktails) will certainly make you feel all kinds of bubbly. All you gotta do is pour your favorite gin and cranberry juice over ice, and then top with a spoonful of your go-to jam. Top it off with ginger ale, and you're done!

Brit + Co

Pomegranate Ginger Beer Cocktail

Ginger has just the right amount of warmth to keep you toasty during holiday gatherings. This delicious ginger beer concoction will be a total crowd pleaser at all your Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving gatherings.

Wholefully

Two Ingredient Apple Cider Mimosas

If mimosas (especially apple cider mimosas) don't scream fall brunch, we don't know what does. Since it's only two ingredients, you don't have to worry about trying to put together a complex Thanksgiving cocktail recipe while also preparing dinner. Sounds like a win-win.

Dos Hombres Mezcal

Dos Hombres Hot Cider

Add 1 gallon apple cider, 1 tbsp whole allspice, 1 tbsp whole cloves, 1 sliced orange, 1-inch sliced fresh ginger, 3 cinnamon sticks, and 4 star anise to a pot, and simmer for about 30 minutes before adding 1.5 cups of Dos Hombres Mezcal to spike the sip!

Home & Plate

Salted Caramel Apple Martini

Martinis make us feel sophisticated and mysterious, but there's one thing that's no mystery: cocktail hour will never be the same after you serve this sweet, tart drink to your family and friends. All you *really* need is a little caramel vodka and apple cider, and you're good to go. Don't forget to chill your martini glasses beforehand to keep things cool.

JoLynn Shane

Apple Cider Mojito Recipe

Mojitos might usually be a summer drink for you, but the addition of apple cider makes this one of the best Thanksgiving cocktails you could sip on. The cinnamon simple syrup in this recipe is totally worth the extra prep time. This drink is also loaded with fresh mint and cinnamon sticks for a fall flavor combo you can't miss.

Joyful Healthy Eats

Apple Cider Moscow Mule

Everyone knows that what makes a Moscow mule a true mule is the ginger beer. Well, with this easy Thanksgiving cocktail, what makes it is the hard apple cider instead of the regular kind.

Inspired by Charm

Apple Pie Sangria

Apple desserts are a must-have during the holiday season, and this apple pie-inspired sangria might just become our top pick. This is the *perfect* Thanksgiving cocktail to put out in a big pitcher and sip on during dinner, while watching the football game, or even when you're stuck cleaning up dishes.

Baked by Rachel

Apple Cider Whiskey Smash

This is an ahh-mazing seasonal twist on a traditional whiskey drink. With just three quick ingredients (whiskey, lemon juice, and apple cider) you can even make a big batch of this Thanksgiving-y drink *before* the holiday whirlwind begins.

Cookie + Kate

Cinnamon Maple Whiskey Sour

We consider November 1 to be the official start of maple season. Even if whiskey isn't your thing, it might be after sampling this cup of Thanksgiving goodness. A little maple syrup goes a long way when you're working with this recipe!

Dos Hombres Mezcal

Dos Hombres Naughty Toddy

Mix together 1 oz Dos Hombres Mezcal, .5 oz fresh lemon juice, .25 oz honey, 1 oz whiskey, and 2 oz natural apple juice together before heating it up on the stove to make this Thanksgiving cocktail. Garnsih with a lemon wheel, and prepare to be warm AF.

Gimme Some Oven

Cranberry Margaritas

Cranberries might be reminiscent of Christmas, but cranberry sauce is basically a Thanksgiving delicacy… which is why we had to give this seasonal margarita our stamp of approval. The squeeze of lime and the salted rim puts this cocktail over the (very delicious) edge, and if you want to get extra fancy with it, there's also a recipe to make your own homemade cranberry juice.

Holly & Flora

Bourbon + Spiced Pear Cocktail

With herbs like sage and thyme topped off with allspice and cinnamon, we're totally in love with this unique Thanksgiving cocktail. Not only does the ginger liqueur give this drink a little kick, but including agave means that it's totally sugar-free.

Baker by Nature

Cranberry + Cinnamon Whiskey Sour

If you're really craving some sweetness, this is the exact drink you should go for. It calls for two cups of cranberries on top of two cups of sugar to yield four cocktails. It's safe to say you'll be perked up after just a few sips.

The Sweetest Occasion

Salted Caramel White Russian

This cocktail is creamy, sweet, and totally dessert-like, which makes it a great addition to post-dinner conversation. You could literally forget the pies and cobblers (but what's Thanksgiving without some pie?) and just drink this instead. Don't worry if you're dairy-free – just swap the caramel sauce for a coconut-based caramel instead.

Slow Cooker Spiced Wine

Okayyy – this warm drink gives us all the fall feels. Red wine and brandy warmed in a crockpot with spices and orange sounds like total heaven to us. Not to mention that you can leave this to simmer throughout the day, so your guests can help themselves and you don't have to worry about it! (viaWell Plated)

Domesticate Me

Spiced Cider Margaritas

For many, the lime margarita is a staple on Taco Tuesday, but maybe it's time to mix it up? We think YES. Cozy up by the fire with a glass of this spiced cider that's spiked with tequila and garnished with cinnamon sticks and apples. That — and the cinnamon sugar rim — sounds right up our alley.

Want more mouthwatering holiday recipes and Thanksgiving cocktails? Follow us on Pinterest or join our newsletter for more inspiration!

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.