Upgrade Your Basic Tank Top With This Lace-Up Hack

1. Lavender

Lavender in a latte is sheer heaven. I’ve DIY’ed my own lavender syrup before (it’s too easy), but you can also buy it ready-made! Any sort of syrup makes for an easy coffee upgrade, really. Brands like Jordan's Skinny Mixes and Torani are my go-to’s, and they sell a vast array of flavors to suit any taste!

2. Cinnamon

I’m convinced cinnamon belongs in everything. I put it in my protein pancakes, yogurt bowls, and cookies, but it’s also a supreme add-in for coffee and even matcha lattes! The warm flavor notes of cinnamon are also perfect for cozying up in the fall and winter.

3. Honey

Cinnamon in coffee gets even better when you put honey in the mix with cinnamon. It’s one of my pal’s absolute go-to’s in lattes (hot or iced), but it also works just as well in hot drip coffees or cold brews.

4. Oat milk

Oat milk (or milk of any kind) is a perfect coffee hack for those who can’t stand black coffee. It helps cut the sharpness and acidity of the brew, adding some creaminess and color to each sip. I find that oat milk is the best pairing for breakfast time!

5. Protein shake

In place of milk, I also really like adding a splash of a protein shake to my coffee for a dose of creaminess and flavor. The protein is just an added bonus!

I really love Koia’s protein shakes since they sell a lot of different flavors, from Cinnamon Cereal to Pumpkin Spice.

6. Brown sugar

I’ve used brown sugar many times to make a Starbucks copycat brown sugar shaken espresso right at home. I’ll simply add equal parts instant coffee and brown sugar to a mason jar with ice, shake it up, and top it off with cinnamon and milk.

If you prefer sipping on something a little less fancy, adding a spoonful to a plain hot coffee could be really delightful, too!

7. Cold foam

The final (and tastiest) coffee hack I drink on the regular is cold foam! Target sells a good range of cold foam cans in various flavors, but I’ve really come to love the salted caramel iteration. It’s perfect for topping of iced coffees for a nice mid-day treat!

The A&F Emerson Linen-Blend Puff Sleeve Mini Dress

You guys, I'm not even kidding when I say this is the best dress I own. As a broad shoulder girly, the neckline is SO flattering. Plus, the material is thick and durable, but still breathable for a hot summer day. I own this in black which allows me to dress it up for dinner or wear it to work, but this vibrant pink — and the several other colors and patterns — is so cute for the summer time. At $60 (was $80), this is a steal!

J.Crew Squareneck Midi Dress In Linen

I need to be wearing this dress with a spritz in my hand ASAP. This dress is a J.Crew best seller for a reason — it makes the perfect warm weather staple. This design is so simple, yet with the help of some fun accessories, this dress can be a hundred different outfits. You can shop this dress in white, red, or black for $178.

Zara Linen Blend Midi Dress

You can never go wrong with a little slit in the summer. This linen blend dress is simple, yet elegant — perfect for any vacay dinner or date night. Throw on some cute sandals and chunky earrings and hit the town in this little green number. Plus, the tie-up back gives you easy adjustment depending on your chest size. Make this your next summer dress for $36 (was $49).

Madewell Square-Neck Mini Dress in 100% Linen

Great, I'll take 10 of them! No seriously — this dress is fabulous, the square neckline is just perfection, and stretchy chest area make this dress fit anyone like a glove. You can get this dress in white for a classic summer look, or it's also available in a light blue. If you're a tall girl, this style shows off your beautiful long legs. You can also get it in a wide range of sizes for $93 (was $110).

The A&F Emerson Strapless Linen-Blend Maxi Dress

Oh my god, the color of this dress is everything! I also appreciate a strapless dress in the summertime to show off my tan lines — there's something so luxurious and indulgent about it. This piece is so simple, which means room for you to customize with accessories. Although it's true to size, always be careful about sizing with strapless! A perfect linen staple for $72 (was $120).

A&F Linen-Blend Shell Mini Dress

There's something about a dress with an open back that always gets me. It makes for a fun little surprise you wouldn't expect from looking at the front of the dress — and it's a great excuse for an updo. This piece would be perfect for any more professional setting like work, happy hour with your fave coworkers, or lunch with the in-laws. You could be its next prideful owner for $42 (was $70).

H&M Linen Slip Dress

I cannot think of anything more summer appropriate than a linen slip dress. It's lightweight, super comfortable, and you can dress it up for a fancy dinner, or literally use it as a bathing suit cover up. Everyone needs a slip dress as part of their summer capsule closet. Add this one from H&M to yours in white or black for $55!

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.