The 10 Luckiest Days For Communication This Summer, According To An Astrologist

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

What's happening astrologically during the week of December 9-15, 2024?

We are given an opportunity to heal parts of ourselves that are usually hidden or otherwise inaccessible when the Sun trines Chiron on December 10. Extroverts can use this creative time to shine, display their talents, and take leadership roles in their communities. More reserved introverts are encouraged to share their time helping others. For all of us, this generosity toward others serves as a way to heal our wounds. Charitable acts will be deeply rewarding.

Working toward a creative goal that pushes us beyond our comfort zone aligns perfectly with the energy when Venus opposes Mars on December 12. Romantic gestures will help deepen our relationships. If you are not in an intimate partnership, consider how you can blend and honor both your feminine and masculine energies. Tap into the friendly vibe of Mercury sextile Venus, exact on December 13, to create fun-loving, enjoyable exchanges with everyone you interact with. We can all practice being charming, good-natured, and affectionate while seeking reciprocity in our relationships. This uplifting energy can help resolve conflicts positively for everyone involved.

Mercury stations direct on December 15, alleviating any mishaps that may have occurred over the past couple of weeks and paving the way for more effortless progress. If you used the retrograde period to reevaluate and recuperate, you will feel energized and able to focus on the plans you made. Mars is still retrograde and will be until February 24, 2025, so it’s still advised to take it easy and not move too quickly. Pace yourself and move with purpose toward any goals you’ve been dreaming about.

The full moon on December 15 is a great time to connect your mind, body, and spirit. Engage in rituals that affirm this internal union. Celebrate the joyousness of the season in a light-hearted way. Mars opposes Pluto which is conjunct Venus during this full Moon, and we will find motivation and inspiration to achieve our goals, both large and small. We will all have profound feelings around what we love and value.

In all activities, maintain a flexible willingness to go with the flow and open yourself to serendipity.

​Read Your Weekly Horoscope For Your Sun & Rising Signs!

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

This is a great week to be creative, but not in an ordinary way. Express yourself from the depths of your soul. Tap into your subconscious and create something that ignites your inner feminine wisdom. Use your art, in whatever form it manifests, to blend and harmonize your whole being. If you find yourself uninspired, slow down and allow yourself to daydream and stare at the stars or the clouds for gentle inspiration. After all, art can truly come from any and everywhere!

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Focus on your family, your home, and your inner child. What do you feel, and how can you express your care and love? This energy is tender, and if you are honest with yourself, you can create the love you need. One way is to tend to your home and express your love to your loved ones. Another way is to practice self-care. While there is nothing wrong with going to the salon to get a new haircut or manicure, the opportunity for profound healing goes much deeper.

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

You must communicate your deepest truth this week. Leading up to the full moon on December 15th, take time to write in your journal or speak into your voice memos about what lies at the core of your being. Use your words to clarify your deepest desires. As the year winds down, use this week to reflect on and appreciate how far you have come and how much you have grown. The act of writing or speaking will allow you to access your inner authenticity. Share what you learn with trusted allies or keep it to yourself. Inner clarity is what matters.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Act on whatever makes you feel secure and stable. Use this week to understand what you value and how to achieve peace of mind. Use your money wisely, but be generous with your loved ones. Express your love in ways that demonstrate the profound connection you share with others. This could take many forms, but heartfelt gifts that signify your deepest love will be most meaningful for both you and the recipient of your kind magnanimity. Anyone in your sphere is so lucky to have the many gifts you bring to the table at the end of the day!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Use your energy wisely this week. You'll likely feel braver and more willing to change whatever needs changing. Pace yourself, but don’t hold back. This creative energy can be harnessed for positive actions. What do you truly desire? At every opportunity, clarify your personal ambitions and realize you have the power to create your best reality. Be sure not to isolate yourself too much as you focus on your goals and aspirations. Breakthroughs are likely to happen. This is warrior energy, so your successes will be amplified if you have allies by your side. We're always stronger together, aren't we?

Virgo (August 23 – September 21)

If you find yourself repressing or holding back feelings of anger and frustration, devise healthy ways to release the energy. Move your body purposefully and energetically, but do not push yourself too hard. Write in your journal or talk with a trusted friend or therapist. Shed light on anything you might be hiding from or unconsciously carrying with you. Use Sagittarius’ truth-seeking energy to uncover what might be hidden. You may be surprised what you end up finding!

Libra (September 22 – October 22)

It's a super playful time for you right now — which is especially great if you have children! Even if you don't, lean into that energy; be creative, make holiday crafts, and bake cookies. Let the play be free-form and try not to be controlling or judgmental. It’s okay if the ornaments are not symmetrical or if the cookies are decorated haphazardly. Joy and fun are most important. If you don’t have kids around, use this time to play and be creative for yourself. Take pride in your abilities and follow through on hunches or impulses. Slow down and enjoy simple pleasures.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Take a break from work, or at least allow yourself to slow down a little more. Use this time to reflect on what needs to change in your career. You will likely face some decisions about how you want to refocus your efforts. You will make better decisions if you are rested and clear-eyed. Make long-term plans for how you’d like to reformulate your work. Reflect on the year and see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Take what you learn and allow yourself to dream about a more fulfilling approach in the future.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your imagination is on fire, and you’ll find yourself dreaming about your next big adventure or learning a new skill. You may feel restless and a little impatient. Try to temper your enthusiasm and refrain from being overly opinionated. Use the excess energy available to finish what you’re working on before starting something new. Be sure to move your body in a joyful way, but don’t push yourself too hard physically. Be careful around aggressive people, and like an Aikido master, let any combative energy pass by in the name of peace. You've got this!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You might be feeling serious and a bit out of sync with all the joyfulness around you. Allow yourself to go inward and be truthful about what you are experiencing. It’s likely that the transformations brewing inside you relate to a need for security or safety. While you might be tempted to retreat for the long haul, it’s important to balance your time alone with time spent with loved ones. The warmth of human interaction will serve to remind you that this is a passing phase. Recognize that you need others for support. And I have a pretty good feeling the people around you would love nothing more than to welcome you with open arms.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

As much as you might like to rise above uncomfortable interactions, this is a really good time to work on relationships. You might have been experiencing conflicts that cloud your judgment. Reach out to a counselor to work through any differences, if you need a little extra help or added perspective. A skilled and unbiased third-party advisor will be able to identify the issues quickly and help you develop resolutions and reconciliations. Make sure your goals are harmonious and reciprocal. It may feel fraught now, but this work is so worth it!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The stress of the holidays may push you into overdrive, but don’t lose balance. Rest, and don’t overextend yourself. Listen to the subtle cues your body gives you. Stick to your exercise routine, but take it easy this week. Make sure you’re taking care of your health so you don’t get sick. Tune in to your pets and children. They are likely to pick up on your energy, and if you’re tense and anxious, they’ll reflect that back to you. Most simply put: find ways to find your zen as much as possible this week — you'll need it!

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."