While we always strive to notice and look for the good around us, things get a little hazy when we start to expect rather than hope that good things are coming our way. A new lifestyle trend that's taken over TikTok is called Lucky Girl Syndrome. The term, which was popularized by Laura Galebe, believes that if you say good things are coming your way, then they are.
The idea of visualizing your reality and working toward it is a complicated topic, which is why we tapped Dr. Whitney Goodman, LMFT, psychiatrist, and author of Toxic Positivity, to talk about all things lucky. Keep reading to form your own opinion about this new trend.
What Is Lucky Girl Syndrome?
Photo by Inga Seliverstova
Lucky Girl Syndrome revolves around the idea that the positive things you say out loud will become your reality. However, even though this newest form of manifestation is becoming widely accepted, there isn't actually a scientific basis for it.
"There isn’t evidence that we can speak things into existence," Goodman says. "This ideology has withstood the test of time and continues to morph into different forms of positive thinking." While our thoughts can emphasize our behaviors, a positive result doesn't necessarily come out of thin air. "It’s not as simple as thought equals something happening."
While traditional manifestation does involve the idea of good things coming to you, many of its forms still require agency on your part. However the "syndrome" of Lucky Girl Syndrome creates the idea that it's something you're chosen for, or that it's something out of your control.
It can be tempting to put 100% of your effort into positive thinking, but just like the old saying goes, nothing worth having comes easy. Our dreams take work!
"I have seen many clients attempt to use manifestation or wishing as a way to achieve something," Goodman says. "There has been a longstanding belief that if you simply believe it, it will come true. Unfortunately, this is way more complicated and work will almost always be required."
Turning your dreams into a reality often involves late nights and early mornings, but it's also vital to point out that the process looks different for everyone. "We can’t talk about manifestation without talking about privilege," Goodman says. "Popular manifestation texts propose that if you are positive and visualize what you want, it will come to you. This is interesting because it seems only certain people are getting what they want."
"There's no planning for obstacles that may occur, no assessment of individual abilities, and no action plan," Goodman continues. It's important to strike a balance between realism and idealism, and the truth is that there are so many factors out of our control that can derail our plans.
It's important not to set yourself up for shameful feelings when that derailing inevitably occurs. "When we don't consider our own limitations, systemic influences, challenges that may arise, or privilege, it's very easy to blame the individual if they can't make [their dream] happen," Goodman says.
Photo by Inga Seliverstova/Pexels
Individualism plays such a large role in Lucky Girl Syndrome that it's easy to get into the habit of making everything about ourselves and focus all of our time and energy towards our own lives. "It can definitely become a stepping stone towards toxic positivity when we assume that everyone can achieve something simply by thinking about it," Goodman says. "This type of thinking can become extremely harmful for people with chronic illness, disabilities, or other struggles."
We're not empathizing with the people around us when we forget that they have different lives and different capabilities than we do, or when we put the same expectations on them that we put on ourselves. It's vital that we find a balance between those two things, and that we hold reality in one hand while still leaving the other hand open for opportunity.
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"In order to get what we want, we have to know what that thing is and visualize it," Goodman says. "We have to believe that achieving it is possible. We can integrate external factors that may impede certain goals while also encouraging and inspiring people to take the reins and make their life exactly what they want."
Whether it's making a vision board or journaling, half the fun is in the dreaming. A study from Dr. Gail Matthews shows that people who write down their goals are 42% more likely to achieve them. Plus, when you write down your craziest dream and break it down into actionable steps, it becomes more manageable.
Not only can dreaming in this way be productive, but Goodman says it also helps you take notice of the good around you. "Believing that good things can happen to you and that you are worthy and deserving of good things can help orient your attention back to the positive in your life." That's a kind of positive thinking we can definitely get on board with.
What are your thoughts on Lucky Girl Syndrome? Let us know in the comments and on Twitter.
Featured image via cottonbro studio/Pexels.
