How to Give the Perfect Wedding Toast for Your Bestie’s Big Day

Melissa Paniagua
May 31, 2016

You’ve found her. She’s your other half, the Taylor Swift to your Selena Gomez. Now she’s found her Calvin Harris and they’re tying the knot. As the official MOH, you couldn’t be happier for your BFF! But now you have a very *important* task at hand: giving a toast to the newlyweds. This is your time in the spotlight… or a chance to embarrass your bestie just a little. If the idea of standing up in front of all those people frazzles your nerves, don’t panic just yet. Speak confidently by following these 10 tips to make sure your toast is funny, heartfelt and super memorable. After all, the bride picked YOU to stand by her side on her big day, and you want to make her proud.

1. Talk to the bride. You don’t have to spill the beans before the wedding, but a quick check before writing won’t hurt a soul. Some brides might have input on things that they want you to incorporate or things they absolutely want you to leave out. Plus, talking to her might also help you get some cute little tidbits about the couple that are worth mentioning. Plus, she’ll remind you that you’re a boss and that you’ve totally got this.

2. Make it meaningful. This is no time for a generic toast. We’re talking about your BFF and her soulmate here. Everyone knows she’s great and an awesome partner, but what exactly makes her so great? Talk about what she’s done for you or something that shows her true character, like a particular something that you and the groom both love about her. The couple is going to look back on this moment for years, so make it count!

3. Remember: It’s about them, not you. While it’s great to talk about how you know the bride and a few fun times that the two of you have shared, this toast is not about you. Talk about some of the adventures y’all have had or when she’s been there for you, but don’t overdo the details. That’s not what people want to hear, nor is it appropriate, so avoid being that person.

4. Don’t forget the groom! While you could talk about your bestie for days, the toast is about THEM, not just her. Don’t forget that this is a celebration of two people, not solely a party in her honor. It’s great to start out talking about the bride and a little about your friendship, but lead quickly into the two as a couple — especially things that make the groom worthy of your bestie.

5. Joke around. Weddings are a time for fun, so don’t feel the need to get super serious. While you definitely want to put in some heartfelt moments, it’s also a light-hearted occasion. Your toast should put smiles on their faces and remind them of the great times all of you have had. Plus, it’s always great to get people laughing on trips down memory lane.

6. Keep it PG. You two had a lot of fun back in the day and will continue to for a long time, but don’t forget to play to your audience (hi, grandma!). Leave the drunken stories, exes and hook-ups out of the equation and remember: What happened on spring break, stays on spring break.

7. Skip the tough love. While she needs it sometimes, this is NOT the time. You don’t want to be Rachel McAdams in Wedding Crashers and make things super awkward. Most likely, close family members will not appreciate those jabs and you’ll just feel really uncomfortable saying them into a microphone in your classy MOH dress.

8. Don’t wing it! Practice your speech multiple times beforehand. Look at your beautiful self in the mirror and read it out. Or, even better, read it to the bridesmaids. You do what you need to prep yourself for your stage debut, but make sure the first time you read it out loud is not at the reception.

9. Run it by the bridesmaids. Even though you don’t want to admit it, they know her just about as well as you do, so be sure to get some input from them. They’ll no doubt have some jokes to add and they won’t be afraid to tell you about that one line you wrote that isn’t really appropriate.

10. Pace yourself. There might be an open bar and that groomsman might be hella cute, but you’ve got a job to do! Just saying, videographers are a thing these days. She’s counting on you, so don’t make the silly mistake of drinking too much before your speech. Nothing is tackier than a sloppy toast, and there’s plenty of time for partying with the bridesmaids later.

Bonus Tip: The best toasts are authentic and from the heart, so don’t forget to be yourself. She’s your best friend, so she’s most likely going to love what you come up with, no matter what. And she knows you’re a little quirky too, so don’t feel the need to hide it. Do it your way and have fun!

Your big day is just starting! Check out all things Brit + Co Weddings, and follow us on Pinterest for more beautiful + creative wedding inspo.

(Photo via O’Malley Photographers)

12 Embarrassing Things To Avoid In Your Maid Of Honor Speech, According To A Wedding Expert

Picture this: You've just received one of the best wedding invitations of all time — to be your best friend's Maid of Honor! You can barely contain your excitement as you quickly skim over the gilded words, and you should be so excited because your status has officially been solidified in the bride's eyes. She likely trusts you with everything, hence why she's also asking you to prepare a Maid of Honor speech.

While you may be panicking about what to say, don't worry! I'm sure your amazing sense of humor, big heart, and impeccable way with words will ultimately shine. But there are some embarrassing things you probably shouldn't mention during your toast, especially given how stress and anxiety can make us say awkward or offensive things unintentionally.

Thankfully, Brittny Drye, Wedding Expert and Editor-in-Chief/Founder of Love Inc. Magazine, is here to help you avoid any mishaps! Here are 12 embarrassing things Drye thinks you should avoid in your maid of honor speech!

1. Singling Out The Bride

Jonathan Nenemann

Witnessing your best friend, cousin, or sister get married is sure to make you sentimental because you've probably known them since childhood. But, this isn't the time to solely focus on the love you have for the bride.

"Make the toast about the couple as an entity … not just one person. Even if you find yourself a bit in the dark about your best friend's new spouse, or just not really knowing them on that deep of a level in general, that's okay," Drye says. This also applies if you don't like the other person. 👀

She also says you can echo things you've learned about about the new spouse "over the last several months/years" so that you can highlight the newlyweds in a positive way. "The couple is beginning this next phase in their lifelong journey together, and you should think of your toast as a loving send-off to both of them as a package deal."

2. Mentioning Embarrassing Stories

Los Muertos Crew

We get it. You've had a front row seat to the bride's shenanigans over the years and keep a mental photo book of every embarrassing moment she's had.

"Avoid overly embarrassing anecdotes, especially those that might make the couple or guests uncomfortable. There is a time and place for funny story-swapping, but this ain't it," Drye says.

Though you may think it's hilarious, talking about the time the bride pooped her pants during a hike isn't something everyone may want to hear. We're sure she's been trying to forget ever since it happened, so leave this between the two of you...and nature.

3. Bringing Up Exes Or Past Situations

Josh Willink

The thought that someone might mention the bride's previous relationships — or even flings — make us turn red with second-hand embarrassment! According to Drye, it's a huge no-no during your Maid of Honor speech!

Drye says, "Stay clear of mentioning any of the couple’s past relationships or exes—it’s awkward and unnecessary. The toast should be about the couple and their life together -- not digging up past flames."

Seriously, the bride's parents don't need to know about any hot hookups, nor do they want to be reminded of the one person that continuously broke their child's heart. Let's leave those comments for your next girls' night debrief!

4. Making Inside Jokes

Los Muertos Crew

Inside jokes are cool! Most people develop them without even trying, which is what makes them so personal. But that's it — sometimes they're just too personal. "While inside jokes can be funny, they can alienate guests who aren’t in on them," Drye says.

That doesn't mean Drye thinks you can't have a little fun, though. You can mention "one inside joke for the couple," but save overly "cryptic" funny moments for one-on-one conversations.

5. Choosing The Wrong Time To Be A Comedian

Kari Bjorn Photography

There's a reason Drye keeps advising you to steer clear of too many hilarious moments during your Maid of Honor speech. "It's really staggering how many people think that the wedding toast has to be a comedy act! Of course, everyone loves to laugh, but if you're trying hard to be funny ... guess what? You're usually not," she says.

It may sound harsh, but I wish more people had someone to steer them away potentially embarrassing moments like this. You may be known for a being a lot of things, but it's important to also know your own limits.

Drye notes, "If on-cue humor is not your niche, don't force it. Take the opportunity to just do you." There's a reason you were chosen to be the bride's Maid of Honor, so embrace that instead of the amateur hour comedy routine no one asked for.

6. Mentioning Tense Family Dynamics

Los Muertos Crew

Weddings can highlight tense family dynamics on their own — that one cousin that's not invited, the overbearing mother-in-law, etc — but your job isn't to verbally point them out. "Don’t bring up family tensions, divorces, or any sensitive issues related to family or friends. This has never, ever served well in the history of wedding toasts," Drye says.

Let's avoid making people uncomfortable, please!

7. Reminiscing About Wild Party Days

RDNE Stock project

TBH, we'd cry if someone brought up our past party days during our weddings. Although we probably have fond memories of them, we don't want our grandparents to know we shotgunned a beer with a stranger on the street that one time.

"Stories about wild college parties, bachelorette antics, or any instances involving excessive drinking or risky behavior might be entertaining for a small circle but can come off as cringe for a wedding crowd that includes parents, grandparents, and possibly children," Drye says.

Even if you're the Maid of Honor at a wedding that has a 'no children' policy, leave those memories buried for the time being. In the words of Drye, it's "not a good look" to mention them!

8. Picking At Negative Qualities Of The Bride And Groom

Dimitri Kuliuk

Everyone will send you to a Passive-Aggressives Anonymous meeting if you use your speech to poke at the bride or groom's negative qualities. Their wedding isn't an indicator that anyone thinks they're perfect, but it's also THEIR day. Let's not make them the butt of every joke, okay?

"It's a wedding toast, not a wedding roast. Even in jest, avoid highlighting negative traits or annoying habits of the newlyweds," says Drye. She encourages you to "keep the tone positive and uplighting" by only "highlighting the qualities that make them...incredible persons and friends."

In other words, don't make the bride regret choosing you to be her Maid of Honor.

9. Complaining About Wedding Costs

Liza Summer/Pexels

We know weddings can be pricey and have even talked about how to decline being a bridesmaid to one if you're budgeting. But if you choose to be the bride's maid of honor, you're accepting whatever comes with that. "Comments about how much things cost, who paid for what, or financial situations are tacky and should be avoided," Drye reminds.

You may want to check in with yourself before your speech so that you don't let your personal feelings or situation interfere with your toast.

10. Expressing Too Much Gratitude

Al Elmes

There's a reason why awards shows start playing music when the winner's oh-so grateful speech is long-winded. It serves as a polite reminder for them to "wrap it up" so there's not any lags in the program.

"While it’s nice to thank people, it’s best not to go overboard — keep the focus on the couple. You'll quickly lose people's interest if you're just listing names," says Drye.

Remember, keep it short and cute!

11. Using Crude Language

Marcel Strauß

We shouldn't have to mention this, but some people seem to think there's no problem with potty language in front of everyone they meet. Drye says, "Avoid crude jokes, swearing, or anything that could offend older guests or young children. Keep it classy!"

It's only for one day, so you'll survive if you're not saying your favorite curse word every other sentence.

12. Predicting The Couple's Future

Jonathan Borba

This socially accepted thing is actually one of the red flags we should collectively toss to the side. It always starts with, "What are your plans after college" and ends with, "So when are you getting married or having kids?" Everyone's not always up to hear or answer these questions so don't use your speech as a time to make your own predictions about the couple.

"Making predictions, like when they’ll have kids or how their lives will unfold, can feel presumptuous and pressure-filled. (Not to mention the general fact that no one should ever comment on someone else's decision/ability to have/not to have children!)," Drye says.

What you can do is "wish them happiness and a bright future." Basically, leave out the weird specifics!

Looking for more wedding advice? Here's our take on wedding guests wearing white!

Header image via Seljan Salimova

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Hold Up, Did Rebecca Yarros' First 'Onxy Storm' Excerpt Just Tease Violet Sorrengail's True Identity?

Fans of Fourth Wing are on pins and needles because Rebecca Yarros just announced she's finished writing the third book in the Empyrean series! It's us, we're fans — along with over half of BookTok.

We can't believe we're getting closer to reading more about Violet Sorrengail's journey, but we know you have a ton of burning questions about the release date for Book No. 3.

We may not have all the answers, but we've done a little digging to share as much as we can because who doesn't want to know what Rebecca Yarros has been up to?

I'm new to the Empyrean series. Are "Fourth Wing" and "Iron Flame" really worth reading?

Amazon

I'm not going to lie to you. The editorial team, including myself, are extremely biased about Fourth Wingand Iron Flame. From my perspective, I think these are great books for anyone who had the pleasure of growing up during the great Harry Potter era and moved on to watchingGame of Thrones and House of Dragons.

Did she announce the name of book no. 3?

Rebecca Yarros/Instagram

YES! Book No. 3 is titled Oynx Storm.

Knowing what we do about the manifestation of Violet's powers, I think this could hint she's going to play an even larger role in the series. According to a fan theory shared on TikTok(via Empyrean Riders), it's believed that Violet and Xaden Riorson are actually gods. Stay with me here.

Empyrean Riders noted that Violet's last name means heavenly and that she's able to control time thanks to her connection to the young dragon Andarna (I love her so much!). That sounds pretty god-like to me.

And when asked which two Taylor Swift songs describe Onyx Storm, Rebecca Yarros chose "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" from The Tortured Poets Department and "So It Goes..." from Reputation. "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" is one of Taylor's most powerful songs and definitely translates the idea that Violet's powers are going to be stronger than ever, while "So It Goes..." is equal parts suspense and seduction, and is TOTALLY about "all the pieces fall right into place" to get together with the right person.

There's so much more to unpack so I suggest grabbing a yummy snack while you fall down the rabbit hole. All I'm sure of is that Onyx Storm is going to leave our emotions in shambles just like Fourth Wing and Iron Flame did.

When did Rebecca Yarros announce she's done writing book no. 3 in the series?

Rebecca Yarros/Instagram

On June 17, Rebecca Yarros shared this image of her laptop to indicate she'd finished the third book in the Empyrean series.

She wrote, "(Pic from one of the very many locations in which this book was written)," towards the end of the caption before adding a few relevant hashtags to it.

When will Onxy Storm be available for purchase?

Rebecca Yarros/Instagram

Rebecca Yarros exclusively told Good Morning America that fans can expect the book to hit shelves January 21, 2025! That gives us a little over six months to prepare our emotions for what's sure to be a storm of a book.

She said, "There will be politics, new adventures, old enemies and of course, dragons." There's no way she could forget the dragons because I'd willingly riot over them. They deserve to have their stories told forever.

As luck would have it, Cosmopolitan received an exciting first look at what's to come in Onyx Storm. The excerpt begins with Violet realizing the Venin have found their way into Basgiath War College and are wreaking havoc. Alongside Rhiannon, Sawyer, and Ridoc, she races to stop the Venin from releasing Jack Barlowe from his prison cell.

However, Violet's shocked when she discovered one of the "dark wielders" has a long silver braid that closely resembles her own. Before she can fully react, the woman disappears. According to Screen Rant, there are possible theories about why Violet saw her and what this means for her growing power.

Towards the end of the excerpt, Violet discovers the Venin want to capture her too. Also, Xaden makes his long-awaited appearance and it's clear their playful banter in the face of danger hasn't changed. That he hasn't fully changed into the Venin Violet's used to seeing.

I officially can't wait to read the rest of the book in January!

Has Rebecca Yarros revealed the cover for Onyx Storm?

Today/Bree Archer, Elizabeth Turner Stokes for Entangled Publishing

Onyx Storm

Yes!

TODAY received an exclusive look at the cover for Onyx Storm and it doesn't disappoint! Unlike its predecessors, it appears Rebecca Yarros is hinting that darker events will take place.

Fans of the Empyrean series aren't the only ones who are excited to see what fate has in store for our favorite characters though. In a statement to TODAY, Rebecca revealed how elated she is to be working on the series again. "It's amazing to be back with these characters again. She also said, ""I can't wait for readers to see what Violet, Xaden, and the rest of the quadrant have in store for them in Onyx Storm!"

Are you excited for the release of Onyx Storm? Follow us on Facebook for more entertainment news!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

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How To Respectfully Decline Being A Bridesmaid Without Ending A Friendship

27 Dresses is a fun story until you think about how much Jane (Kathryn Heigl) spent for each and every one of those weddings. There are engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry — I mean the list of costly responsibilities goes on and on and on. Imagine doing that 27 times.

Wedding events aren't just a casual affair anymore either — the financial obligations for wedding guests and bridal parties continue to rise steadily. According to a 2023 study from The Knot, the average cost of a bridesmaid's dress is $130. Business Insider reports that you can expect to spend $1,200 for bachelorette parties on average. Just being a wedding guest alone has an average price tag of $580, according to another study by The Knot. Suddenly, from your dress to the destination bach to the delicate (and likely expensive) stemware you got the couple as a gift, you're potentially spending thousands of dollars on a wedding that's not even your own.

And while you likely love the bride asking you to be in her wedding party very much...is there a way you can politely decline? Especially if you're trapped for cash or trying to save for a major financial goal? HerFirst100k's Tori Dunlap would like to think so! And it doesn't have to be this friendship-altering event either. With Dunlap's tips, you should be well on your way to the happy couple's good graces without paying an arm and a leg to earn it.

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics

When turning down a bridesmaid offer, Dunlap suggest using the "sandwich method" here — AKA saying something complimentary, giving the bad news, and ending on another positive, complimentary note. Seems simple enough, right?

She suggest saying, "I'm so excited for your wedding! Thank you so much for thinking of me! I am so honored. However, at this time I really can't afford the commitment of being a bridesmaid, but I would love to support you in any other way I can."

With this phrasing Dunlap says you're accomplishing three key things:

  1. Setting expectations
  2. Validating the friendship
  3. Maintaining your own financial boundaries
In doing this, you're ensuring that you've done and said everything you can kindly and upfront so that you don't leave the bride on the hook or disappointed. This should keep your relationship in tact — and if it doesn't, that maybe says more about the situation than your polite decline. Regardless, now you don't have to worry about going into debt for someone else's wedding, so you're able to spend mindfully and maintain your personal finance goals.

How would you decline being a bridesmaid? Let us know in the comments, and follow the convo on Facebook!

Header image via Caleb Oquendo

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WHICH Movie Had Kate Winslet "Sh—ing" Herself?!

Kate Winslet is THE Hollywood actress to me. Not only has she starred in box office smashes like Titanic and Avatar: Way of Water, but she's proven her acting chops in breakout indie flicks and provided mothers and daughters everywhere with eternal Christmas movie nights thanks to The Holiday. But the actress' consistently viral kindness, her dedication to embracing her natural beauty, and her sophistication don't mean she always feels confident. Kate Winslet just spilled on the one movie from her career that had her "sh—ing" herself, and I just had to dive in.

Here's what Kate Winslet had to say about her scariest movie experience ever.

  • Kate Winslet made a name for herself with Titanic, Sense & Sensibility, and The Holiday.
  • However those movies aren't the film she wants fans to ask about!
  • The actress spills on the movies she's proud of, and the one job that had her "sh—ing myself."

Talking to Vanity Fair for her newest film Lee, Kate Winslet revealed one project she wishes fans asked about more is Iris. The 2001 film stars Kate as a young Iris Murdoch against Judi Dench's older counterpart. And for Kate, nothing was more terrifying than working with such a wonderful actress.

"People don’t really ask me about Iris. It’s such a delicate film," she says. "It was the first thing I had done after having my daughter. Going to work with a baby, I’m playing Iris Murdoch, looking to Judi Dench’s older Iris Murdoch — I was sh—ting myself."

Considering how nervous I get when I meet my heroes, I can only imagine what it was like to meet Dame Judi Dench. Talk about a dream! Another film Kate loves is Revolutionary Road, and not just because she got to reunite with Leonardo DiCaprio.

"The thing that people say is, 'You got to work with Leo again.' Then they go off on the whole Leo tangent, which I totally understand," she says of the film, which follows an ambitious couple who find themselves trapped in the reality of 1950s suburbia. "But Revolutionary Road — f—king hell, it just knocked us all sideways. Unbelievably difficult material. I was very proud of that film and what Leo and I were able to create as Frank and April. It was so brutal."

The process for getting Lee into the world sounds equally brutal, considering Kate started working on it over a decade ago. As producer, Kate tells Vanity Fair she doesn't mind the fact she's done more for the film than if she only had an acting credit. "That has felt very necessary for this film. But it’s also just really important to me," she says. "It’s important to me that people know that it’s out there and might feel compelled to go and see it."

Because it turns out, commercial success or stardom on its own doesn't actually help your movie get made! "It doesn’t matter who you are," she says. "No one’s going to go, 'Oh, I’ll just back that pony because she was in Titanic.' It doesn’t happen that way, and I never expected that. That’s really important to say."

"I've gotten older and I’ve learned more and felt more confident in myself about whether or not I could actually do it," she adds. "It’s not something I would’ve done had I not felt so passionately about the subject, and Lee was just—she wouldn’t let me go."

Let us know your favorite Kate Winslet movies in the comments, and since we've officially entered cozy season, check out Why The Holiday Movie Ending Is The Most Important Scene while you're at it!

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Here's A New Look At Florence Pugh's Return As Yelena Belova

Marvel movies are known for their heroes and their hopeful outlook on the world. But in 2025, we're getting a brand new team: the Thunderbolts. This team is made up of antiheroes and former villains, and it's sure to be the wackiest and strangest, as well as one of the most memorable, superhero movies we've seen in recent years.

Keep reading for the latest news on Thunderbolts* before it hits theaters in 2025.

Marvel Studios/YouTube

Thunderbolts* comes out this May, and the cast just showed off some brand new footage at the D23 convention — and thanks to the new 'Celebrating 85 Years' spot, we have the first look too!

We get a look at Bucky Barnes, The Red Guardian, John Walker, and Ghost. Plus, Yelena Belova, of course. This heartbreaking detail about Yelena's new look connects Florence Pugh's Yelena to Scarlett Johansson's Natashaand I'm WEEPING.

Marvel Studios/Walt Disney Studios

And at D23 Brazil, we got a brand new look at my new favorite team. "There’s something in this film, in terms of superpowers and superheroes, that shows that our superpowers lie in how ‘broken’ we are," David Harbour said at the event. "As if our superpowers came from our relationships.”

What is the plot of Thunderbolts?

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney

Thunderbolts* Plot

Consider Thunderbolts* to be The Avengers' edgy younger sibling. The movie follows Yelena Belova (who we know off the bat is a "depressed assassin" thanks to a Marvel Studios press release). She's joined by Bucky Barnes, The Red Guardian, and John Walker. Based on a leak, it looks like we'll see this group of misfits team up against Valentina Allegra de Fontaine after she sends them on a deadly mission.

Thunderbolts* Release Date

Jesse Grant/Disney

Thunderbolts* Release Date

Thunderbolts* hits theaters May 2, 2025.

Who's on the Thunderbolts team?

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney

Thunderbolts* Cast

Thunderbolts* stars Florence Pugh, Geraldine Viswanathan, Lewis Pullman, Hannah John-Kamen, Wyatt Russell, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Sebastian Stan, and David Harbour.

This is a huge cast, and Viswanathan just revealed how crazy the first day of filming was. “My first day didn’t feel real," she tells Vanity Fair. "I felt this extra pressure of, ‘Know your lines, babe. You can’t really play around like you usually do.’"

Historically, sci-fi fans haven't been kind to actresses in their favorite projects (remember when Star Wars fans bullied Kelly Marie Tran off social media?). But Viswanathan is already thinking ahead. “If it’s overwhelming, I’ll log off. But I like discourse around pop culture,” she says. “[Thunderbolts*] felt a little bit edgier and fresher, more existential and dark.”

Jesse Grant/Disney

The rest of the cast also enjoyed working together. “Everyone is going to f—kin’ love me! It’s really, really, really fun to be with a group of actors that you have a good time with," Wyatt Russell says at Comic Con (via Variety), while David Harbour adds, “Florence Pugh [is] just electric to work with. There’s warmth and humor, but there’s also a lot of pathos.”

“This is why we can't stop laughing together, because we genuinely just had such a wonderful time with each other and we've loved working with one another," Pugh tells People. “I feel like this is something that we've never seen before from Marvel...it's a very open and honest and truthful idea. And I'm just really excited for people to watch it.”

Are you excited for this brand new chapter in the MCU? I really feel like Thunderbolts* will usher in a whole new generation of fans and I, for one, CANNOT WAIT! Let us know your thoughts on Facebook.

Lead images via Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney

This post has been updated.

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