Marie Kondo Is Messy Now—Here's Why That's A Good Thing

The shift from a picture perfect home to a realistic one is something many people struggle with accepting, especially since women are consistently given exclusive ownership over homemaking. That can be a beautiful thing when you choose it, but when the designing and decorating morphs into an expectation to keep things Instagram-worthy at all times, things become much more complicated.

Kondo spending time with her family instead of doing things that society might consider more productive speaks to a lot more than just creating a home. It speaks to the reality that a lot of us are simply tired — from impossible double standards, from hustle culture, from the emotional labor of coping with caretaking and work, etc. It's exhausting to refuse yourself rest in favor of keeping up the appearance that you have everything together when you're really hanging on by a thread.

Women are held to higher standards in many different areas. We can suffer more negative social consequences than men if our homes aren't "clean enough," according to a study from Sage Journals, and when Beyoncé and Ed Sheeran's performance outfits sparked a debate in 2018, it showcased how women are just expected to put more effort into their appearances than men.

Not to mention the fact that women are dominating influencer marketing *and* have to deal with the pink tax (which isn't actually a tax, FYI). We've been told over and over again that we need to spend money, energy, and time curating the best-looking version of our lives — and if it doesn't look good, then it's not good.

Somewhere along the lines, the desire to translate the beauty of life into a beautiful space turned into wildly unrealistic expectations. And that is something we are leaving behind in 2022.

TikToks, YouTube videos, and personal essays showcasing everything from difficult experiences to what real women's apartments look like are raw around the edges in a way that makes your dream life feel approachable, because we're finally acknowledging that even your dream life can be messy.

At a recent virtual tea ceremony and media webinar, Kondo further explained, “My home is messy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life." It is totally okay if your energy and time are directed toward your relationships or toward self-care rather than keeping your home—and the other areas of your life—polished.

Kondo's new bookMarie Kondo's Kurashi at Home: How to Organize Your Space and Achieve Your Ideal Life and her recent Netflix series Sparking Joy are all about creating your ideal life, mess and all. Similar to the way that baking the perfect batch of brownies will make a mess in the kitchen, coming up with your dream life might make a mess along the way. But so many of our best memories and formative experiences look messy from the outside, right?

Tidying up isn't just about material objects, it's also about what you choose to fill your time with, your mental space with, and your soul with. Make sure you choose wisely.