Signs of aging like fine lines and wrinkles are inevitable as we, well, age. But age does not dictate whether or not you can rock a stunning makeup look! When it comes to applying foundation to mature skin, you can still achieve a smooth, glowy base.
The best practice for finding foundations for mature skin is avoiding thick, high-coverage foundations – they can look cakey and sink into those pesky fine lines, accentuating them even more. Instead, opt for thinner, more buildable foundations. Bonus points for formulas with hydrating and anti-aging ingredients like hyaluronic acid and SPF!
If you’re getting glam on a budget, I’ve tracked down the 8 best drugstore foundations for mature skin. The best part is they’re all relatively affordable, but oh-so effective in providing coverage so you can step out with confidence.
The best drugstore foundations for mature skin in 2024:
- Best hyaluronic acid formula: CoverGirl & Olay Simply Ageless 3-in-1 Liquid Foundation
- Best SPF formula: L'Oreal Paris Age Perfect Radiant Serum Foundation
- Best antioxidant formula: Neutrogena Healthy Skin Liquid Foundation
- Best on-the-go formula:Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Foundation
- Best long-wear formula: Revlon 3X Age Defying Foundation
- Best dewy formula: Maybelline Fit Me Dewy + Smooth Liquid Foundation
- Best buildable formula: Covergirl Advanced Radiance Age Defying Foundation
- Best subtle splurge: IT Cosmetics Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream
Scroll on for the best drugstore foundations for mature skin, starting at just $9!
Amazon
Best hyaluronic acid formula: CoverGirl & Olay Simply Ageless 3-in-1 Liquid Foundation
Pros: Infused with Olay skincare like niacinamide, a hyaluronic complex, and vitamin C, good coverage, smooth application
Cons: Customers have noted that the shades can run darker than what's noted on the packaging
Promising review: "This product is amazing. It truly provides full coverage. It makes my skin look flawless. No cakeiness and foundation seems creamy and good quality. Not super lightweight but that's ok with me."
Amazon
Best SPF formula: L'Oreal Paris Age Perfect Radiant Serum Foundation
Pros: Higher sun protection than other options at SPF 50, includes vitamin B3 and a hydrating serum to better complexion
Cons: Some users noted the formula can feel oily
Promising review: "I found my holy grail. Years and years, probably hundreds of dollars later, my Goldilocks foundation is cheap, available and even includes a high SPF. Why I waited so long on this L’Oréal winner, I don’t know. My mature dry skin loves this one. Never settles in lines or texture and lasts all day. Medium coverage and so easy to apply with brush, fingers or sponge. Very natural finish but not dewy."
Amazon
Best antioxidant formula: Neutrogena Healthy Skin Liquid Foundation
Pros: Includes vitamin E, feverfew (known for calming properties), and natural soy to enhance skin
Cons: Poor shade range, formula can be thicker than others but "dries right away and covers very well."
Promising review: "Finally found a foundation that looks natural with a good match to my skin. I read an article on a celebrity who uses it so I decided to give it a try. I dot it all over my face and use a makeup brush to stipple it first and then swirl. It’s buildable so you can start slow. I love how it looks on my mature skin. Doesn’t settle or look dry."
Amazon
Best on-the-go formula: Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Foundation
Pros: Packaging makes it easy to travel with and apply, buildable coverage, blurring applicator
Cons: Some users noted the formula can feel oily, leading it to fade quickly
Promising review: "So easy to apply, can be blended with fingertips or makeup brush, really excellent coverage! No strange smells and doesn't irritate my skin (and I'm very sensitive, in the past had to use hypoallergenic brands). Have reordered and will not try any other brands going forward. It's funny because it's been 55 years since I used a Maybelline product, spent years paying for upscale brands, and now they've finally got it right!"
Amazon
Best long-wear formula: Revlon 3X Age Defying Foundation
Pros: Claims to work as a moisturizer, serum, and primer all in one, easily buildable
Cons: Sun protection is very low at SPF 20, poor shade range
Promising review: "I have dry mature skin. This is perfect for me. I like how it looks natural... I don’t use my moisturizer when I use it…it’s like using moisturizer. I cleanse, tone and then apply with a kabuki brush. A+"
Amazon
Best dewy formula: Maybelline Fit Me Dewy + Smooth Liquid Foundation
Pros: Adds a luminous finish, oil-free formula
Cons: Sun protection is very low at SPF 18
Promising review: "An older friend with beautiful skin told me she used Maybelline Fit Me Dewy, so I tried it. It works better with my aging skin than many more expensive brands of foundation I’ve tried. Despite being light as a feather, it has fairly good coverage for blending out dark spots or splotches, [so] I sometimes use a concealer for under eye circles, too. There is a great range of colors, so it’s easier to get a good match."
Amazon
Best buildable formula: Covergirl Advanced Radiance Age Defying Foundation
Pros: Reduces fine lines and imperfections, cruelty-free formula
Cons: Some customers have noticed discrepancies between this product's shade names and the rest of Covergirl's foundations and that it can be cakey on the face, but only with a heavy hand
Promising review: "When I started to develop fine lines around my eyes I found the mineral powder foundation settled into them and made me look older. (I'm now mid 40s). This foundation provides a medium to full coverage (depending on amount used) which I like but still looks natural. It is very creamy, feels light, and does not settle into my fine lines. It doesn't feel like I'm wearing makeup."
Amazon
Best subtle splurge: IT Cosmetics Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream
Pros: Great coverage, multi-tasking product with hyaluronic acid, niacinamide, vitamin E, and SPF
Cons: On the more expensive side (this travel-size version is $22)
Promising review: "I'm a 58 year old woman of Italian heritage. I definitely have that ever-so-slight olive tint to my skin. Despite the spotty reviews I decided to try it anyway... I LOVE this product and for me it lives up to all the hype."
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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).
These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.
@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕
1. Chamoy Pickles
People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.
But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!
This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.
If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.
@dualipaofficial What do we call her?
♬ original sound - Dua Lipa
2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke
Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.
This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.
@logagm New cucumber recipe 🚨
♬ original sound - Logan
3. Cucumber Salad
If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.
"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.
It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!
@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger
4. Sea Grapes
It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).
They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.
@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒
5. Exploding Candies
The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.
First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.
I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.
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For those of us who have dry skin, the time is here for us to triple our moisturizing efforts unless we want to deal with inevitable patches or itchiness. I've already noticed my combination skin is embracing its flaky and textured era, so I've been slowly stocking up on my favorite thick moisturizers to help calm things down.
Since I'm a busy mom, I've been relying on Amazon Prime delivery to get them shipped straight to my front door. Right now I only have three facial moisturizers I swear by, but I'm also sharing two body products that keep my eczema-prone extremities hydrated.
Keep reading for the luxuriously thick moisturizers you need to add to cart ASAP.
My Favorite Face Moisturizers For Dry Skin
Jasmine Williams/Brit + Co
Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream
I've been using Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream for the past 3 years and it's been a miracle for my confused skin. IMO, it's not greasy despite having a richer texture than I'm used to. It actually feels soothing to me and I think that has everything to do with the 4.5 percent Squalene and Glacial Glycoprotein that's in it.
I typically use a hyaluronic acid serum in addition to this, but this facial cream is my go-to moisturizer.
Why Other Customers Love It
Amazon
Other customers have a lot to say about this thick moisturizer, but the standout Amazon reviews are:
- "By profession I'm a cosmetologist so have decades of experience not only with hair products, but also with those concerning skin care. I've tried almost every item on the market and this is my favorite. It isn't heavy, yet provides plenty of moisturization. My face feels so soft! I'm a senior citizen and my skin tends to be dry, but just a little of this smoothes and hydrates it. You don't even need a primer. Makeup glides on."
- "This is the only moisturizer that doesn’t break out my extremely sensitive skin. I have rosacea and other products burn my skin and make my face even more red. I’ve been using this and it’s the only thing I can use."
- "This moisturizer feels great on the skin! I have mixed oily and dry skin and it has done so well. I recently switched from Tula to this brand and I have not regretted it. It does not cause breakouts and I feel like my face is hydrated the whole day. i would definitely recommend."
- "Nice product that gives some sun protection. A little thicker consistency than regular moisturizer but the convenience of not using sunscreen for daily errands. My DIL gave me this once for a birthday & I have been using ever since."
Amazon
La Roche-Posay Triple Repair Moisturizing Cream
Okay, this moisturizer is a little pricier than the others I've mentioned, but it's La Roche-Posay! If you're looking at me with a blank stare, I'll do my best to explain. This is hands-down one of the best skincare brands I've come across in my 30s because a handful of their products have a seal of approval from the National Eczema Association.
It has shea butter and niacinamide in it, which are double threats against icky environmental elements that cling to dry skin. Plus, you can use it on your face, body and hands!
Why Other Customers Love It
Amazon
Here are some of the best reviews on Amazon about this luxurious moisturizer:
- "This lotion has literally no fragrance. It leaves my skin feeling soft with a subtle glow without being greasy. It is also extremely hydrating. I have very sensitive skin, and the fact that babies can use it too is what made me decide to try it."
- "The first application was wild. It’s thick and feels pretty slippery on the surface. But the next morning, I didn’t want to stop touching my face. The flakes became way more manageable and allowed me to continue the retinitis treatment. I’ve been using this for a few weeks, and my skin texture has improved tremendously. It is great that you can use it on your body as well. I lather it on at night and then put a very light layer on under my sunscreen in the morning. It doesn’t make me look greasy if I let it soak in before applying makeup."
- "It instantly alleviated my dryness, leaving my skin radiant, glowy, and remarkably hydrated. As we transition into the winter months, I’m confident this cream will be a lifesaver against the harsh, windy weather we often experience in the Midwest."
- "As someone with sensitive and acne-prone skin, this has been a game changer. I can't imagine going without this product since starting tretinoin and tazarotene. I use it as a final step in my routine to seal in moisture and any active ingredients. La Roche-Posay has consistently made sensitive-skin-friendly products. I'm not sure how you may react to the high shea butter content, but my skin doesn't seem to have any issues with it. The thickness is unlike any lotion I've tried. 10/10 would recommend."
Amazon
Olay Complete+ Rich Moisturizing Cream
Having sensitive skin isn't a death sentence for your face. It just means your skin is picky and only wants the best products to touch it, so technically it's like having a superpower. If you're still not convinced, let Olay's Complete+ Rich Moisturizing Cream persuade you.
It has vitamin B3, vitamin E, and ceramides in it that work together to provide all day hydration. Also, these powerhouse ingredients work together to promote healthy cell turnover so your gorgeous moisture barrier is in tip-top shape. P.S. It's recommended by the Skin Health Alliance.
Why Other Customers Love This Facial Moisturizer
Amazon
Check out what these Amazon customers had to say:
- "I have extremely sensitive skin and this doesn't irritate my skin. I've tried and given up using many products (I'm 71). This cream makes my skin (face and neck) soft and hydrated. I use it several hours before bed and again in the morning. I alternate using it with another face skin care product."
- "I find this to be every bit as moisturizing, creamy, and long-lasting as any of the more expensive face creams that are all the rage these days. I have tried many of the face serums, creams, and lotions and do not think any of them work any better than this Olay Face Cream."
- "My mom used Olay products and her skin was immaculate! I started using it in my 30s and switched to other more popular, more expensive brands. I should have never stopped using it. I love this new moisturizer too! It feels amazing and makes my face look so smooth! I'm back Olay!"
- "Tried this because my husband’s dermatologist has the most beautiful skin. I asked the dr what he used and this was it. After using so many different moisturizers for years I always had red rough skin. Now after all these years the redness is gone!! Its definitely worth giving it a try."
My #1 Favorite Body Moisturizer For Dry Skin
Jasmine Williams/Brit + Co
Palmer's Shea Formula Body Lotion
Since it's a little colder, I need something that's going to keep my skin moisturized without triggering eczema flareups. One of the top moisturizers that gets the job done is Palmer's Shea Formula Body Lotion.
I personally opt to get the value size of this because it lasts a little over a month for me. Why? Well, a little goes a long way because this dermatologist-approved formula is thick. But once I rub it into my skin, it provides the silkiest shine I've ever seen. Besides shea butter, it has Marula, oatmeal, grapeseed oil, and vitamin E in it to provide the radiance I love so much.
It's usually $16 on Amazon, but it's currently on sale for $13!
Why Other Customers Love It
Amazon
According to Amazon, over 5,000 customers have purchased Palmer's Shea Formula body lotion this month. Also, it has a 4.6 rating which means I'm not the only one who loves using it. Here's my favorite 5-star reviews:
- "As someone who battles dry skin year-round, finding a reliable moisturizer has always been a challenge—until I discovered Palmer's Shea Formula Raw Shea Body Lotion. This lotion has been a game-changer for me, and I'm thrilled to share my experience."
- "The smell of this is amazing, makes my skin silky and smooth. great everyday lotion & the smell is subtle enough that it doesn’t overwhelm when I put my perfume on. My skin is plenty hydrated using this and I don’t notice any stickiness once it dries down."
- "So we are on our 4th bottle now. Loving the product? Yassss!"
- "We live in far Southern Az, where it is extremely dry (except during the monsoon). So we have had to start using skin lotions to make our skin feel better. This stuff is really great! And it lasts quite awhile."
Another Body Moisturizer I Love Using For Dry Skin
Amazon
Aveeno Skin Relief Moisturizing Lotion
If I feel like switching things up, I'll buy Aveeno's Skin Relief Moisturizing Lotion. It has a triple oat (oat flour, extract, and oil) and shea formula that work wonders for anyone who knows how it feels to have dry skin you suddenly have to scratch all the time. It's basically tough on things that cause dry skin, but gentle on the sensitivity of it!
Why Other Customers Love It
Amazon
This lotion actually has a slightly higher rating than Palmer's and has been purchased over 6,000 times this month. The only reason it's not my first go-to is because I have fond childhood memories of Palmer's. Aside from that, Aveeno is pretty d—n amazing!
Customers are saying:
- "My derm recommended it, my skin is now so soft, not dry anymore as long as I keep applying daily."
- "Love this lotion. I am super sensitive with lifelong relatively dry skin, and also super picky about my lotion quality and what I need."
- "I've tried high end lotions and they have nothing on this stuff! This lotion is incredibly soothing, providing instant relief and long-lasting hydration that keeps my skin feeling soft and smooth all day. The formula is gentle, fragrance-free, and absorbs quickly without leaving any greasy residue, making it perfect for daily use. I’ve noticed a significant improvement in my skin’s texture and overall comfort since I started using it."
- "I’ve tried so many - This is the Only lotion that keeps the moisture in my skin. I put it on in the morning and my skin is still soft and dewy at night and even the next morning."
Need recommendations for the best face wash to use? We have 10 geared towards each skin type!
Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.
Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.
Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been
1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.
I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.
"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.
As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."
Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.
2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.
While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."
Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.
Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."
3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.
Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?
Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.
You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says
4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.
*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."
Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.
4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.
Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.
Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.
I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."
5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.
Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."
At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.
What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?
First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."
I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.
"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.
Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.
Here are Menon's tips:
- Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
- Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.
I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?
I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.
"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."
Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."
He wants you to consider these things:
- Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
- Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
- Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.
Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.
That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.
Nina Dobrev Just Shut Down Years Of 'Vampire Diaries' Drama Rumors (And The Internet's Going Crazy)
Dec 09, 2024
No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!
Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.
As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.
"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!
In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.
While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.
"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!
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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."
And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."
"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!