Here's How You Can Hack Your Workout Goals Based On Your MBTI Types

Why Your Flexibility Stalls

As though going through puberty weren’t enough of a struggle, it’s also the time when you start to lose your natural flexibility. “No one is more flexible in their life than they are as a child,” says Dr. Leython Williams, a doctor of physical therapy at Athletico Physical Therapy. “However, during puberty, children often become temporarily less flexible. Some children have slow growth spurts, while others grow very quickly. This temporary decrease in muscle length/flexibility is a result of their bones growing faster than their muscles and tendons can stretch.”

Note that Dr. Williams refers to this particular loss of flexibility as temporary — meaning we can’t blame puberty for the fact our toes seem to be getting farther away every time we try to touch them.

“There is no specific age when we wake up and our flexibility has ‘officially declined.’ However, it is a fact that as we age our flexibility decreases, which leads to decreased functional ability and mobility,” he explains. “As our bodies get older, we lose a small amount of flexibility as a result of the normal aging processes. There is loss of water in our tissues and intervertebral discs, increased stiffness in our joints, and a loss of elasticity in muscles and tendons. In our 20s and 30s, it is important that we develop a consistent static and dynamic stretching regimen to establish and maintain flexibility and range of motion more easily into our older years.”

That’s right: What you do now matters later. And this isn’t just about keeping up in yoga, Dr. Williams cautions. “It becomes imperative that we stretch regularly to decrease our likelihood of various injuries.” Jill Belland, co-founder of Barre Belle, agrees. “It’s easy to feel invincible if you’re young and injury free! Flexibility will reduce your risk of injury: What doesn’t bend will break. Increased range of motion, balance, and mobility are all linked to flexibility and contribute to overall strength and fitness.”

How to Get It Back

When you’re a kid, flexibility comes naturally; when you’re an adult, you have to take responsibility for improving and maintaining it. “Peak flexibility age for adults can differ person to person and depends largely on their physical activity habits,” says Dr. Rachelle Reed, PhD, Pure Barre’s manager of training development and barre kinesiologist. “Notably, flexibility can be improved at any age when flexibility training is incorporated into a regular exercise routine. It’s important for adults to be strategic about including flexibility training into their workouts, because maintaining flexibility and physical function as we move into middle and older adulthood is associated with better quality of life and independent living.”

There’s no one flexibility standard everyone has to meet, Belland reassures: “There is no golden rule for what perfect flexibility is person to person, but there are simple markers such as touching your toes from a forward fold for hamstrings/lower back, or reaching for your hands behind your back, with one hand behind the head and the other behind the waist, for shoulder mobility. You don’t need to be a contortionist; moving around with fluidity in your everyday life and having good range of motion in your favorite activities without feeling pain or tension is a better way to gauge your own personal goals.”

But where do you start if you want to improve your flexibility? Dr. Reed explains, “There are two main types of flexibility training that you should aim to incorporate into your routine: Dynamic stretching, where a stretch is performed by moving through a challenging but attainable range of motion several times in a row, and static stretching, where a stretch is held in a challenging but attainable position for a longer period of time (at least 10-30 seconds).”

How do you know how far to go? “Our muscles have a natural stretch reflex that prevents us from going too far into a stretch, which can also cause injury,” Belland tells us. “Aim to gently stretch through this reflex. The key to increasing flexibility is about time under tension: It takes around 20 seconds to ease through the stretch reflex. Reintroduce the stretch and hold it for 10 seconds longer, working up to one minute. The second time you introduce a stretch, the stretch reflex will diminish, allowing your body to get deeper into your stretch and also building better muscle memory.”

If you’re still worried about injuring yourself — especially if you’ve been injured in the past — Dr. Williams recommends seeing a physical therapist for guided stretches. Belland reminds us that you don’t have to go to the gym or spend hours on stretching. “Stretch a little bit every day when you can fit it in after a workout or in front of the TV. If you just don’t think you’ll stretch on your own, getting to a yoga or a barre class is helpful if you need the accountability of a dedicated time and space.”

Speaking of the gym, just as your phys ed teacher told you, stretching is especially important before and after a workout. “Far too often active individuals begin their workouts without a dynamic stretch,” Dr. Williams says. “Dynamic stretching increases one’s range of movement and blood flow to soft tissues prior to physical exertion and/or sport performance. This type of stretching is vital in improving performance and reducing the risk for injury.”

But you don’t have to be an athlete to benefit — in fact, stretching is an important antidote to all that sitting those of us with desk-based jobs tend to do. “Sitting at your desk all day can lead to decreased flexibility in hip flexors and hamstrings by keeping them in a shortened position for a prolonged period of time,” Dr. Williams warns. “Consider a standing desk or work station or taking several breaks throughout your work day to stand up and stretch.”

You Make A Good "Middle"

Whether you're in a party of two or 200, you feel energized and recharged by spending time with other people. That makes you a great “middle” at the dinner table (reference: Curb Your Enthusiasm Bad Middling episode) as you love to engage in conversation, bring everyone into the mix, and get the party going.

You Heart Social Media

You're not afraid to put yourself out there, IRL and on social. You easily express your emotions and share your thoughts without hesitation. You may be an over-sharer, but that's what people love about you – you don't hold back.

Group Activities > Than Solo Activities For You

Team sports and group trips are more your speed, rather than running or traveling solo.

You're Chatty

You're comfortable talking to strangers and striking up a conversation on the train, plane, or anywhere in public. You also love to chit-chat on the phone to your long-distance friends. You seek out social situations of any form.

You Have A Big Circle Of Friends

People are drawn to your energy. You have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, and enjoy meeting new people and expanding your social network.

You Shine On Stage

Public speaking is no problem for you, whether at a podium, presentation at work, or singing karaoke at a bar. You feel comfortable and confident, and actually enjoy the chance to share your ideas (or pipes) with the group.

You're Bored By Solitude

Extended periods of alone time can make you feel restless or bored. You might end of calling friends or heading outdoors to be around people, your source of good vibes.

You Love Crowds

Whereas an introvert might feel drained, you thrive in big crowds where there's lots of action and interaction.

You Adapt Easily To Awkward Or Unfamiliar Social Settings

You make a good first impression – you're friendly, warm, and social and can easily adapt to different social scenarios. You easily connect with others.

You're Spontaneous

You make decisions quickly and often go full-speed-ahead on them, whether it's booking a last-minute trip or hosting a last-minute girl hang. It's what drives you and keeps you feeling alive and invigorated.

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Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

• Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
• Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
• Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

• Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
• Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
• Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

• Feeling responsible for others' happiness
• Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

• Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
• Being highly attuned to body language and tone
• Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.