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1. Talking About Money Can Expose Hidden Feelings

It's impossible to know how someone feels every second of the day, but we probably all think we have a good understanding of the people we're close to. But people are capable of hiding how they feel about something or burying their discomfort until certain situations 'expose' them. Why does it seem like money has a way of doing this?

Both Irwin and Dunlap agree that "money is taboo," leading people to avoid conversations about it. "Data tells us that we are more likely to talk about any other taboo topic—sex, politics, religion, even death—before we’ll talk about money," says Dunlap. West agrees and says, "Money is like that one friend who’s incredibly helpful but totally untrustworthy—everyone likes what they bring to the table, but no one wants to talk about them directly." Did you think of someone specific? It's okay because I did too!

The problem is that money can make "hidden insecurities come out, old sibling rivalries rear their heads," and more, according to West. "Even something like 'who paid for what' can suddenly become a life-or death conversation," she says. It's strange because Irwin says a Wells Fargo study shows that "many Americans across all ages are worried about money," proving we're all thinking about it, despite our avoidance issues.

2. And Money Can Also Create Unease In Conversations

"When we don’t have open conversations about money, we’re left to navigate it on our own, which can keep us feeling underpaid, overworked, or unsure about our financial situation," Dunlap points out. She feels "discussing money requires a huge amount of vulnerability" which "isn't easy for everyone." You may have seen how other topics are swept under the rug by family members or friends based on reasons they're not ready to talk about.

Though Irwin believes saying something like saying, "'Here's what's keeping me up at night' or 'here's what my goals are' could strengthen connections," Dunlap knows that "shame, comparison, or fear of judgement" can cause people to remain tight-lipped about their finances.

If you've experienced a weird moment because of money or had to be the unfortunate witness of an awkward conversation, my apologies. It's not fun no matter who's involved because, unfortunately, "money carries layers of emotions, like pride and insecurity, that turn simple conversations into potential minefields," says West.

Dunlap says there's a silver lining if people are willing to be open, however. "The key is respecting each person’s comfort level, and encouraging openness if they're willing to meet you there. It’s not going to be perfect at first, but by starting to share more about your own financial experiences, you can start to break the cycle of shame and fear around money. You might be surprised at how quickly others are willing to open up too."

3. Making Assumptions About Other’s Money Status And Financial Situation Can Lead To Disrespecting Boundaries

No one's saying you should never lend friends money, but being mindful about the decision is worth noting. West feels "it's complicated" while Dunlap believes the issue "can be tricky." There's a chance a low-key loan becomes an expectation that you should dish out money every time someone needs help, even if you're trying to maintain your own bills. "Lending money to a friend is like sharing your Netflix password—simple in theory, but one wrong move, and things get weird," West forewarns.

Dunlap also says, "When you lend money to someone close to you, there's always the chance that you won’t get it back. You want to be mentally prepared for that! Otherwise, it can strain your finances and your relationship. The emotional toll can be just as heavy, as unpaid loans can lead to resentment or awkwardness." It's not unusual to hear about certain friends being unreliable in more ways than one after you've let them borrow something. Unfortunately, Irwin indicates this happens because some people "don't expect to give something back that they've borrowed."

Because of this, Dunlap thinks "it's best to avoid loans if possible." Should you decide to move forward with helping out a friend who's in a bind, make sure you're both in agreement about repayment and what to expect moving forward. West says "having clear terms" or "gifting a small amount if you can afford it" is like "buying their friendship insurance." The latter is something Dunlap agrees with because it "helps prevent resentment if they can't pay you back as planned." Plus, she feels it also "keeps the loan within an amount you're okay with potentially losing."

4. Lending Money Is A Slippery Slope That Can Lead To Distrust And Resentment

It's amazing how money can lead to a friendship breakup if boundaries aren't created or respected. "Money is a sneaky little devil who can push everyone’s buttons. It can cause resentment if one person feels taken advantage of or someone’s 'casual loan' becomes an epic saga of unpaid IOUs," West says. Not only that, but Dunlap knows "money can strain relationships between friends and family by highlighting differences in how we value it, expect to use it, or feel about sharing it."

Friends and family members shouldn't take each other's kindness for granted, but human nature is fickle at times. That's not an indicator that someone you love is a "bad" person, but they may feel like you owe them your time and money. However, Irwin says this isn't "de facto that that person is entitled." Still, Dunlap is more than aware how this can play out. "For example, it can lead to resentment if one person is always the one picking up the tab, while another might feel uncomfortable or indebted because they’ve been helped financially," she says.

On the other hand, it can show up a little differently in families. She adds, "Issues like unequal inheritance or constant requests for financial help can lead to deep emotional tension. Money can also become a tool for power imbalances, where one person feels in control and the other feels dependent, and that can mess with trust and respect."

When certain negative patterns show up in relationships, it can make people decide to take a step back from being available. "And once distrust settles in, it’s hard to shake; nobody wants to be 'that friend' who’s forever dodging a Venmo request or getting side-eye from relatives at every family BBQ," West points out. How many times have you built up a wall with the people you love because of repeated unreliability or the expectation that you're supposed to help them whenever they ask? If you didn't hesitate to think of a moment, you're living proof that distrust can affect even the closest relationships.

Dunlap says, "When money becomes a main factor in a relationship, it can overshadow the connection, making it difficult to maintain genuine trust and understanding. You can avoid this by having open conversations with friends and family about your financial situation. Clear communication can help keep the focus on the relationship, not the money."

5. You Can Worry You're Not A Good Friend Or Family Member For Setting Money Boundaries

Worrying about how other people feel can keep us from setting boundaries. There's a difference between being an empath and a people pleaser, but it's easy to blur the lines. You can absolutely empathize with someone's hardship while knowing you're not in the position to lend the amount they may be looking for. I'm a huge fan of saying that two things can be true at once — because they can.

Irwin says you need to "address the conversation head on" if a friend does ask you for a loan. Your response may depend on if their ask was "emotionally-charged or "in an uncomfortable environment," but Irwin doesn't recommend ignoring it. If you're not in the space to respond, here's what she suggests saying in a "timely" fashion:

1. "Hey, I need time to think about this. Let me get back to you."
2. "We can help you, but here are our boundaries."
3. "We see and understand you, but we're unable to help because we're trying to pay off debt or save for _______."

Yes, Financial Boundaries Are Essential

Don't think you need to create financial boundaries for yourself and your friends? Think again. West says, "Establishing some ground rules is a lifesaver—think of it adding airbags to the friendship. Setting boundaries early on, like when you’re still in the happy, non-monetary part of the relationship, can protect both sides if things get sticky."

Here's how she advises you proceed with creating boundaries:

1. Keep it light and be honest; you’re not making a prenuptial agreement here, just letting them know you’d like to avoid “financial fireworks” later.
2. Say, “I’m your friend, not your ATM.” It’s funny but helps set the tone that your wallet isn’t a free-for-all.
3. Set a gift cap, such as, "I'm happy to chip in for brunch or a birthday, but let’s not get into home-loan territory.”
4. If you do lend, draw up a repayment plan. Think of it as adulting with a side of accountability to avoid “accidentally” becoming their financial fairy godmother.
5. Limit talk of big financial choices unless you’re genuinely invested together. After all, nobody needs to know how much their friend spends on avocado toast or scented candles, let alone home renos.
6. A little humor and some boundaries go a long way. You’ll save yourself a lot of awkwardness and keep the friendships intact, one “non-loaned” dollar at a time!

Tori says, "It's so important to have transparent conversations about money, set clear boundaries, and ensure that relationships are prioritized in any money exchange." Here are a few things you can try:

1. Communicate about your budget with a “gratitude sandwich.” Say you’re invited to an outing—a dinner, or a sports game—that isn’t within your budget right now. You can respond with the “gratitude sandwich.” The “pieces of bread” are positive, and the “meat” is the money thing you’re scared to say. Thank that person for the invite, let them know it’s not within budget right now, and then offer a cheaper alternative, reassuring them that you’d really love to see them. Offering an alternative reminds that person that declining their invitation isn’t about them, and you still care about them. In doing so, you prioritize your budget AND your relationship in the process.When in doubt, remember that no is a complete sentence. You don’t need to overcomplicate things, and sometimes a simple “no” is all you need.
2. Set expectations early. When planning trips with friends, discuss the budget and how costs will be split upfront. Having these conversations ensures that everyone is on the same page and helps avoid any misunderstandings. It creates a supportive, stress-free environment where everyone can enjoy the experience together without any added worries!

The Final Verdict:

Once you've weighed your options and considered what you need, you can decide to loan your friend money. However, Irwin wants you to consider being formal about it. "You can absolutely draft a promissory note or loan agreement so that your friend knows how serious you are about your boundaries. If you want, you can also put an interest rate on it," she says.

It's not to hurt your friend's feelings, but it is a boundary you can put in place so they think to themselves, "This is truly a loan because I'm borrowing money with the intent to pay it back," Irwin says. It could change the dynamics of your friendship, but it's more about being "purposeful about the language being used" so you and your friend can both move in the "right direction," according to Irwin.

If the idea of creating a 'loan agreement' sounds icky to you, Dunlap wants you to seriously consider it as "an extra bit of protection." She says all you need to do, again, is "try setting up a simple contract to outline repayment terms" because it "can help both of you stay on the same page and avoid misunderstandings down the road."

Her ultimate piece of advice? "Only lend what you're comfortable giving and potentially losing, and keep open communication to maintain trust and respect in the relationship."

How many biological kids does Kourtney Kardashian have?

Kourtney Kardashian has four biological kids! Their names are Mason, Penelope, Reign, and Rocky. She shares her first three children with ex Scott Disick, and now shares Rocky her current husband, Travis Barker. Kourtney also appears to be very close to her step children, Landon and Alabama Barker.

What is Kourtney Kardashian's new baby's name?

Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker announced the birth of their beautiful baby boy on December 22, 2023. His name is Rocky Thirteen Barker, which has a special meaning for Travis' father. Travis told Grazia Magazine that Rocky George was the guitarist for Suicidal Tendencies, and 13 is "just the greatest number of all time."

Will Kourtney Kardashian have a surrogate?

According to Daily Mail, Kourtney's pregnancy with Rocky wasn't easy, eventually ending up with a rush to the hospital for urgent fetal surgery. Because of how difficult (and likely traumatizing) that was, Kourtney and Travis have apparently decided to go with a surrogate for any future children they have.

Mason Dash Disick, 14

Mason Dash Disick, born on December 14, 2009, is Kourtney's first biological child. He's also the first grandchild of the Kardashian family, and his birth was actually filmed for Keeping Up With the Kardashians! His middle name might sound familiar, as it also belongs to the set of stores that Kourtney, Khloe, and Kim previously ran. "Dash" parallels their last name and simultaneously serves as a tribute to their late father's (Robert Kardashian) nickname.

Penelope Scotland Disick, 11

Penelope — often affectionately referred to as "P" — was born on July 8, 2012. She was also born on Keeping Up With the Kardashians and is very close with her famous cousin, North West. They post their hilarious antics all over TikTok, making us miss those childhood mems with our own cousins.

Reign Aston Disick, 9

Reign is Kourtney and Scott's youngest child, and he was born on the same day as his older brother Mason! He's nine years old, and seems to bring his big personality wherever he goes. You can find a lot of his goofiness all over Kourt's Instagram.

Rocky Thirteen Barker, 3 months

Rocky Thirteen Barker is the latest addition to Kourtney Kardashian's kids! Kourtney was very open about her struggles with conceiving Rocky, as well as the complications that arose during her pregnancy. Thankfully, all worked out well, and now Rocky is living his best life with his parents and siblings!

How many kids does Travis Barker have?

Outside of Rocky, Travis Barker shares two biological with his ex-wife, Shanna Moakler. He also has a step-daughter named Atiana De La Hoya who he — and Kourtney — are very close with.

Atiana De La Hoya, 24

Travis Barker's shares his step daughter, Atiana De Le Hoya, with her mother Shanna Moakler. Atiana was born on March 29, 1999, and she's the eldest of the combined Barker-Kardashian clan. Atiana acts, and she recently starred in a thriller called Maya.

Landon Asher Barker, 20

Landon Barker was born on October 9, 2003, and is a musician — just like his dad! He's released a number of songs including "Trust" and "Holiday". In June of 2022, Landon began dating Internet celebrity and TikTok star, Charli D'Amelio. Sadly, in February of 2024, the two called it quits. They expressed that they're still friends and still have a lot of love left for one another.

Alabama Luella Barker, 18

Music must run in the family because Alabama Barker is a budding musician, too! She was born on December 24, 2005, while her family was starring in a reality show called Meet the Barkers. Today, she's still in the spotlight and is very active on TikTok. She posts a lot of her music across her platforms — which have collectively over 3 million followers!

How old is Travis Barker?

Travis Barker recently celebrated his 49th birthday with Kourtney Kardashian by his side. The Lemme founder shared a sweet carousel of pictures of Instagram and wrote "Happy birthday to the love of my life," in her caption. Travis responded with, "My best friend, I love you. It’s you forever 🖤," which makes my heart melt.

Each picture features a candid BTS look at them cuddling and enjoying each other's presence, but they all share a common theme. These two are happily in love and are excited to be taking on the world together.

Vegan Mini Chocolate Pies with Pecan Caramel

Mini pies are the perfect Christmas dessert because they're hand-held and bite-sized, plus these feature chocolate, pecan, and caramel flavors! They're also vegan, which just makes us love them even more. (via Brit + Co)

Easy Puppy Chow Recipe

You probably already have everything you need for this DIY dessert recipe: peanut butter (or another nut butter), chocolate chips, Chex cereal, butter, and powdered sugar. The red and green candies are just a bonus! (via Brit + Co)

The Best Sugar Cookies

These sugar cookies are so good, they don't really need any embellishments, but would it really be a Christmas party without reindeer cookies?! Save a few to leave out for Santa, too. (via Brit + Co)

Oreo Red Velvet Cheesecake

If you love red velvet cake and you love cheesecake, then this is the dessert for you. The crust, cheesecake filling, and whipped cream come together beautifully so that every bite you take is better than the last! Plus, the Oreos on top are the perfect finishing touch. (via Brit + Co)

Paleo Christmas Cookies

Cookies will never be totally healthy, but there are definitely ways that you can make them healthier. Check out this easy Christmas dessert that's paleo-friendly. (via Brit + Co)

Eggnog French Toast

Have breakfast for dessert by adding eggnog to your French toast batter. It adds just the right amount of spice to the recipe and makes it creamy and smooth. (via Brit + Co)

Sweet Chai Latte Cupcakes

Turn your favorite morning beverage into a sweet treat with these cupcakes. The flavors and spices make for the perfect holiday season dessert. (via Brit + Co)

Peppermint Macarons with White Chocolate Ganache

Find a new way to enjoy the minty flavor of peppermint with this macarons recipe. Covered in white chocolate, it's a nod to the traditional French pastry. (via Brit + Co)

Chocolate Pumpkin Tart with Gingersnap Crust

Move over white chocolate ganache, because this pumpkintart is ready for its turn in the spotlight. We love that the gingersnap crust helps balance the rich taste of dark chocolate. (via Brit + Co)

Puff Pastry Apple Roses

These roses look good enough to eat – because they are indeed edible! It's the one time you'll enjoy stopping to smell the roses. (via Brit + Co)

Vegan Apple Cake

If puff pastry apple roses feel like too much of a lite dessert, you'll want to keep this vegan apple cake recipe handy. (via Brit + Co)

Baked Hot Chocolate Doughnuts

We have a *major* sweet tooth for anything that involves gooey chocolate, so combining our love of doughnuts and hot chocolate sounds like a dream come true. (via Brit + Co)

Frozen Chocolate Peanut Butter Yogurt Cups

Take a break from traditional Christmas desserts and make candy recipes instead! Who knows, someone may request that you make frozen chocolate peanut butter yogurt cups for their birthday next year. (via Brit + Co)

Eggnog with Sugared Rosemary

Who says desserts have to be food? This sweet drink is a classic Christmas dessert, whether you're decorating the tree or curling up for a movie night. Our favorite detail is definitely the sugared rosemary. (via Brit + Co)

Mini Gingerbread Cheesecakes

If regular slices of cheesecake are too rich for you, try these mini bite-sized options for your next get-together. They're a little bit spicy, a little bit sweet, and just the right amount of creamy. (via Brit + Co)

Even Santa Will Want A Bite Of These Christmas Desserts!

Peppermint Bark Cannoli

You just can’t get through the snowy season without indulging in some sweet and cool peppermint bark. No surprise, it's amazing in cannolis. (via Sugar and Cloth)

Mott's Gingerbread Cups

These lil cups are a fun, festive, and fabulous treat to make with and for your little ones — or for anyone else, frankly! Just look how cute they are! (via Mott's)

Rum and Eggnog Bundt Cake

We like big bundts and we cannot lie; a slice of this, we can't deny! Flavored with rum and eggnog, this luscious cake is slathered with a generous coating of eggnog cream cheese icing that will make your tastebuds sing. (via Liv for Cake)

Eggnog Cheesecake Brownies

With creamy eggnog cheesecake swirling into fudgy goodness, these brownies will make even eggnog naysayers fall in love with the soft and chewy bites. (via A Cookie Named Desire)

Chocolate Peppermint Bundt Cake

We know you’re thinking it because we’re thinking it — be still, my heart! This rich, minty, and chocolatey cake is dripping with glaze and topped with crushed candy canes. Can you say flavor bomb? (via Two Peas & Their Pod)

Champagne Donuts With White Chocolate Glaze

One of the best things about donuts is they can be enjoyed as both a dessert *and* as a sweet breakfast option. The Champagne-infused dough and white chocolate glaze create the ultimate holiday treat. (via Sugar and Cloth)

Apple and Mincemeat Filo Wreath

This swoon-worthy recipe stuffs crisp apples and mincemeat into a flaky filo pastry, resulting in complete dessert heaven. Adorned with cranberries and drizzled with custard, this treat is guaranteed to be a hit at any holiday party. (via Domestic Gothess)

Mexican Wedding Cookies

These tiny snowballs are slightly salty, nutty, buttery, and downright delish. (via Two Peas & Their Pod)

Cranberry Dark Chocolate Biscotti

We hope you’re ready for additional caffeine, because you’ll be brewing an extra cup a day just for an excuse to dip and devour these beauties. Totally addicting, these munchies are packed with nuts and cranberries and drizzled with chocolate. (via Pinch of Yum)

Homemade Marshmallows

Storebought marshmallows will never taste the same after you make these. Dip them in chocolate or add them to your hot cocoa for a truly decadent treat. (via The Real Food Dietitians)

Eggnog Panna Cotta with Spiked Cranberry Sauce

Silky smooth panna cotta may seem like a summery dessert, but when made with eggnog and topped with orange liqueur-spiked cranberry sauce, it's completely festive. (via Sprinkle Bakes)

You Won't Want To Share These Delicious Christmas Desserts

White Christmas Sparkle Cake

If you prefer snowflakes and twinkly lights to bright red and green decorations, you'll love this fluffy vanilla almond cake with cream cheese frosting. (via How Sweet Eats)

You Won't Believe How Tasty These Christmas Desserts Are

Meringue Christmas Wreath Cake

But if you do love colorful decorations, opt for this wreath cake, decked out with nonpareils and candy canes. (via Sprinkle Bakes)

Holiday Sugar Cookie Bars with Cream Cheese Frosting

Instead of rolling out dough to make individual cookies, bake up these bars, and have fun making your own sprinkle design on top. (via Averie Cooks)

Marmalade Thumbprint Cookies

It truly isn’t the holidays without some jam-filled thumbprint cookies to munch on. Though a berry jam is most commonly used, the choice of this orange jam is brilliant. (via The View From Great Island)

Christmas Tree Mousse Cups

You don't have to be an artist to make an adorable tree-shaped dollop of mousse in these chocolate cups. (via My Life Cookbook)

Peppermint Cream Puffs

Bite-size cream puffs are the ideal treat, and with a light peppermint ganache and festive sprinkles, they're holiday-ready. (via Best Friends for Frosting)

Chocolate Peppermint Mousse

We love how fluffy mousse is, and this Christmas dessert (which only needs four ingredients, FYI!!) mixes in peppermint extract for the perfect seasonal flavor. Add some crushed candy canes on top for an extra cute detail. (via Feel Good Foodie)

Funfetti Christmas Cake Roll

Don't be intimidated by the cylindrical shape; this colorful cake is both easy to bake and easy to roll up while hot. (via Passion for Savings)

Italian Pear Cranberry Tart

If the cranberry sauce at your Thanksgiving dinner didn’t satisfy your cranberry needs, this festive tart will. Fresh cranberries are piled into a shortbread crust over a luscious layer of almond cream, and it’s kind of the best thing ever. (via Just a Little Bit of Bacon)

Viennese Crescent Cookies

Popular in Austria, these melt-in-your-mouth Christmas cookies are a simple blend of hazelnuts, butter, and powdered sugar. (via Leite's Culinaria)

We'd Recommend These Christmas Desserts To Everyone

Mincemeat, Marzipan, and Apple Bread Wreath

Filled with mincemeat, marzipan, and apricot jam, this impressive buttery wreath is packed with flavor. And since it's fruity, you can get away with eating it for breakfast. (via Domestic Gothess)

Sugar Cookie Chocolate Crème Brûlée

Have more Christmas cookies than you know what to do with? Use them to top these velvety, chocolate-rich crème brûlées. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Gingerbread Bundt Cake

If you want to get real fancy, haul out your bundt cake pan and try this recipe. The patterned cake looks even more impressive when laden with a shiny glaze. (via The View From Great Island)

Slice and Bake Heart Cookies

These heart-shaped cookies are so much easier to make than you'd think. Impress your Christmas guests with a bout of sugar cookies! (via Crowded Kitchen)

Tahini Brownies

If you can't handle full-on sweetness, try these brownies that mix in some tahini for a nutty flavor addition. The flaky salt on top adds an edge that you do not want to miss out on. (via Forks and Foliage)

Vegan Peanut Butter Blossoms

Is there a better duo than chocolate and peanut butter? These blossoms feature creamy peanut butter and dark chocolate chips for a rich, smooth take on the classic combo. (via Rachel Mansfield)

Olive Oil Orange Cake

This citrusy, just slightly olive-oily cake will brighten up your winter diet, and the touch of Grand Marnier makes it taste extra-elegant. (via Averie Cooks)

Hazelnut Shortbread with Salted Ganache Sandwich Cookies

Okay, regular Oreos. We raise you one with these uniquely delicious (and super festive!) homemade sandwich cookies! (via Vanilla and Bean)

Sugar Dusted Donut Christmas Tree by Chef Genevieve LaMonaca

For this delicious Christmas dessert, roll 60 (3lbs) white donut holes in 2.25oz green sugar sprinkles, then cover a 5.5 x 13.5-inch foam cone in plastic wrap. Insert your toothpicks (you'll need 60) into the foam, then push donut hole on the toothpick. Start from the bottom and work your way up. Add 1/2 cup peanut M&M’s to fill holes to resemble Christmas ornaments. Top with gold star cupcake topper. Cover with saran wrap until ready to use. Make up to 3 days ahead of time!