6 Tips for Using Your Phone More Mindfully

1. You're never sure what kind of mood your parents will be in before you walk in the living room or kitchen.

Let's put this on record: parenting is tough — especially on top of trying to maintain a work-life balance. But, this doesn't mean you're meant to be unsure of what to expect every time you come around your parents. If you have to "'read the room'" a lot "before speaking," Slavens indicates this is one of the more subtle signs of dysfunction.

This is where you may have learned how to become passive-aggressive if that's something you struggle with. The reason for this is because "clear and direct communication is avoided and/or seen as bad or aggressive," according to Dr. Miller.

2. You tend to feel like you're constantly compared to and in competition with your siblings.

My heart truly wants to believe this isn't intentional behavior from parents, but I can't say I haven't heard people talk about feeling like they'd never measure up to the 'golden child' of their family. You may have felt insecure about your grades, the college you chose to go to, your career goals, or even your physical appearance. Slavens says this "struggle with self-worth or second-guessing yourself constantly" is yet another sign that your family's dynamic wasn't the healthiest.

Also, Dr. Miller says this could've caused you to learn to "shrink yourself in the presence of loved ones." Even worse, you may "feel the need to hide pieces of yourself in order to be loved and accepted."

3. There was constant yelling and screaming during arguments, making you fearful of disagreements or hardships.

If you grew up in a home where arguments always led to screaming and yelling, chances are you're not a fan of loud voices or hard moments. Honestly, Slavens says it's not hard to believe that "conflict make you anxious, even when it’s minor." Unsurprisingly, you may have become a referee during these arguments and currently find yourself being a mediator in your platonic or romantic relationships. Why?

Dr. Miller says, "You constantly feel the need to manage everyone else’s emotions often at the cost of your own needs and wellbeing." You know, to keep the peace.

Here are some more obvious signs you grew up in a dysfunctional family

4. You had to take on a parental role when one of your parents decided to stop being an adult.

I imagine that having an emotionally immature parent is one of the most aggravating and stressful things to deal with. Not only that, but you may have had to help keep the household afloat. You may have had to get a job or two to help pay bills, listening to an adult conversation as your mom or dad laid their problems at your young feet, and more!

If you "family roles were flipped" and you "maybe had to parent your own parents," Slavens says this is a form of emotional dysfunction.

5. You weren't allowed to go anywhere with your friends because your parents wanted to keep an eye on you at all times.

Slavens says boundaries that "didn't exist" or "were rigid and controlling" is a sign your home was a little...interesting. Being concerned about your whereabouts is one thing, but it's another when you're unable to do anything without your parents' eagle-eyes on you. Something as simple as going to the mall with your friends may have become a lecture about the dangers of shoplifting or car wrecks. Again, these are valid concerns but they shouldn't be treated like the verbal form of doom scrolling.

6. You consistently witnessed one of your parents abuse alcohol or drugs at home.

This is a tough because substance abuse is so prevalent in varies socioeconomic statuses and communities. From the functioning alcoholic to the one who becomes belligerent after they've had too much to drink, it always affects those around them. Slavens says if "there was ongoing neglect, substance abuse, or verbal/physical aggression," your home probably didn't safe.

I recognize some of these signs of a dysfunctional family. But that doesn't mean they're affecting my current relationships, right?

I hate to break it to you, but it's possible your childhood wounds have shown up before. "Dysfunctional dynamics don’t stay in childhood — they tend to creep into how you connect with others," says Slavens. Similarly, Dr. Miller agrees that "we typically repeat what we learned at home with our families in our other relationships." How?

"This includes the beliefs and rules we follow, often completely subconsciously, about what can and can’t talk about and why, as well as what emotions are allowed to be expressed, who can express them and how, and how we should or must respond to those people and their emotions," explains Dr. Miller.

Another way to look at this is how Slavens has outlined it:

In Platonic Relationships:

1. Overextending yourself to please others, even at your own expense
2. Feeling like you have to "earn your friends' affections.
3. Avoiding vulnerability because it feels unsafe.

In Romantic Relationships:

1. Struggling to trust your partner or feeling overly suspicious
2. Repeating patterns like dating people who are emotionally unavailable or controlling.
3. Feeling overly responsible for your partner's happiness — or relying on them for yours.

OMG! How do I unlearn habits from my dysfunctional family?

Honestly, everyone has a few bad habits they've carried from their childhood to adulthood. You're not an outlier because some things weren't 100% normal so I don't want you to feel like you're a failure for not having having it all together. "Dysfunction doesn’t have to define your future relationships," Slavens assures. Dr. Miller says you can start to unlearn things "that aren't working for you anymore" by "gathering your family's larger context to gain insight into how and why, for them, the behaviors make sense."

By taking a look at your family's "history and larger social and political contexts" gives you a chance to "see them as whole people with full lives," she says. Once you do that, she believes "you can examine what pieces make sense for you to keep and what parts you'd like to learn to do differently." Her other suggestion? Don't forget you're ability to utilize a "therapist who works systemically, like an LMFT" who "can be a huge support in this process."

Slavens' tips include the following:

1. Practice self-awareness: Notice when a response feels automatic — like people-pleasing or shutting down during conflict — and ask yourself, Is this helping me, or is this a leftover habit from the past?
2. Set boundaries: If your childhood lacked healthy boundaries, learning to say “no” without guilt is a game-changer. Boundaries protect your energy and teach others how to treat you.
3. Learn healthy conflict skills: If conflict made you feel unsafe growing up, it’s natural to avoid it. But healthy conflict is necessary in relationships. Practice expressing your needs calmly and directly.
4. Therapy, therapy, therapy: A good therapist can help untangle the messy, “weird” things that got normalized and give you tools to rebuild healthier ways of relating to yourself and others.
5. Surround yourself with healthier models: Whether it’s friends, mentors, or books/podcasts, seek examples of functional relationships and start observing what feels different.

While you're busy unlearning things, Dr. Miller also wants you to remember something. "Recognize that how your family does something is simply that; how your particular family system figured out and were taught to navigate the world. It isn’t inherently right because you’ve normalized it nor is the way another person or family does it inherently wrong," she says.

Christmas Nail Colors

essie 'Off Tropic'

You can't get your dream Christmas nail designs done without some stellar nail polishes! If your look involves a deep green, this shiny pick will help you pull it off easily. Use it to coat the entire nail for a sultry seasonal mani.

OPI Opaque Light White & Gray Shimmer Nail Polish

With Christmas comes cold, and this nail polish screams icy. Wear it alone or apply it over a traditional Christmas color like red or green!

OPI Infinite Shine 'Bubble Bath'

This baby pink will look gorgeous as a solid coat for Christmas-y dates and dinner parties.

ILNP 'Ruby'

It's red. It's glittery. It's perfect for the holidays!

Essie 'Winter Trend'

Spending Christmas with your besties or roommates? It's time for you to have your first 'Pinkmas' with the sparkly magenta nails to match!

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri 'White on Time'

A super solid white nail polish, alongside a thin nail art brush, can be used to paint snowmen, gift wrap, or snowflakes like some of our featured Christmas nail designs depict.

RARJSM Holographic Gel Polish

For the lazy gal manicurists, this holographic polish will make any light reflect off your nails which is the point during Christmas!

essie 'U Wish'

Embrace the holidays with this fiery red that defies expectations of what a Christmas color should be.

Butter London Patent Shine Nail Polish

This one color will work excellently for minimalist Christmas nail designs – use it to dot, stripe, or wear it on its own.

Revlon 'Iced Mauve'

Sparkles are a must for Christmas, which is why we're heavily eyeing this potent pink.

Christmas Nails Inspo

Nifty-Gifty Gems

Use small nail gems of any color to infuse your Christmas nail designs with festive energy. We're loving red in particular because it just feels luxurious!

Deep Red Elegance

The bold red French tips, in combination with some art deco-inspired golden stars, can really bring your seasonal mani to the next level.

Colorful Christmas Stars

Use a stencil or freehand these tiny stars in different chrome nail colors for a more jolly vibe this year.

(Gift) Wrap It Up

A nail art brush can be used to paint on cutie little Christmas bows like this silvery one!

(via )

Classic Colors

Multicolor nails are not dead – take the trend further for the holidays by crafting your look with a mix of whites, golds, greens, and reds.

Let It Shine

For an understated (yet still spirited) Christmas manicure, glitter will be your go-to. We love the gradient effect that this hand has on!

Merry & Bright

Tiny star details are sure to turn heads this Christmas! You could use any hue, but a standout gold like this one really makes your nails pop!

Lemony Greens Soup

While a lot of seasonal soups can feel overly dense, this lemony greens soup is packed with plenty of nourishing veggies, lemon, and fresh dill. It gets a wonderful flavor boost from miso paste, proving that healthy recipes for weight loss can still taste great. (via Love and Lemons Every Day for Brit + Co)

Authentic Fattoush Salad

If weight loss is your goal, you really can't go wrong with a salad. Don't make the mistake of building yourself a bland bowl, though: follow this easy recipe for Fattoush Salad that's boosted with a variety of fresh veggies and crunchy, satisfying pita chips instead! (via Forks & Foliage for Brit + Co)

Grilled Harissa Shrimp with Chickpea-Dill Tomato Sauce

Protein lovers are gonna go crazy for this healthy shrimp dish. The best part is it only takes 30 minutes to prepare! Dinner is served. (via Brit + Co)

Simple Walnut-Crusted Salmon

Salmon is super nutritious – it's packed with omega 3's, which can help reduce inflammation, lower blood pressure, and decrease your risk for disease. You'll get a nice dose of protein, too, which will help you feel fuller for longer. This fish is coated in a yummy, honey mustard-infused walnut crust that turns deliciously crispy after baking. (via 100 Days of Real Food for Brit + Co)

Farrotto with Butternut Squash

This vegan and vegetarian-friendly recipe deserves a spot in your weight loss meal plan. It's like your typical creamy risotto, but made with farro instead: a healthy grain that's loaded up with lotsa fiber, protein, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. (via Earthly Provisions)

Coconut Rice Veggie Bowls

Chances are, you've got a bag of jasmine rice sitting in your pantry right this very moment. Make use of it to craft these delicious rice bowls topped with green goodness. (via Completely Delicious)

Tofu Quinoa Stir Fry

This healthy recipe for weight loss swaps the typical rice for quinoa, and tofu for animal-based protein to make each bite a lil' bit lighter. It still tastes divine, plus it'll save you from a pricey takeout bill on the nights you really don't feel like cooking: it only takes 30 minutes to make! (via A Virtual Vegan)

Grilled Pesto Zucchini Stuffed with Tomatoes and Orzo

This Mediterranean-inspired dish has it all: healthy grains, fresh veg, and a huge punch of flavor, thanks to the pesto. It's a great way to make use of zucchini, especially in the summer when it's in season. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Vegan Cauliflower Lettuce Wraps

Lettuce wraps of any kind make great healthy recipes for weight loss, but this cauliflower version really takes the cake since it's sheet pan-friendly and totally vegan. Def adding this one to our lunch repertoire! (via The Edgy Veg)

Vegan Mediterranean Chickpea Salad

Searching for some good, no-cook healthy recipes for weight loss? Consider your search over. This nutritious chickpea salad – packed with Mediterranean flavors, no less – is a great dish for getting all your veggies in. It also holds up well as a meal prepped lunch! (via Crowded Kitchen)

Grilled Chili Peach Chicken

Prep this 10-minute chicken to add flavor to healthy wraps, salads, and grain bowls. The mix of sweet and savory is everything. (via Averie Cooks)

Slow Cooker White Chicken Chili

We're salivating just looking at this bowl of white chicken chili. There's truly no shortage of flavor in this protein-rich recipe! Plus, you have options: you can use the stovetop, slow cooker, or Instant Pot to make it. (via The Real Food Dietitians)

Warm Farro Kale Salad

Healthy veg? Check. Tangy feta? Check. Hearty dinner? Check. This is one of those salads that doesn't necessarily feel like a salad, since it's served warm and has plenty of ingredients to fill your tummy, like cauliflower, farro, and walnuts. (via Hello Little Home)

Turkey Hummus Wrap with Sun-Dried Tomatoes

Got some leftover turkey from Thanksgiving? Use up what's left by making these easy, healthy, and delicious lunch wraps. With turkey and hummus, your meal will be bulked up with a good amount of protein to keep you feelin' full throughout the day. (via Whole and Heavenly Oven)

Healthy Chicken Tortilla Soup

Tortilla soup will never not be comforting AF. This iteration is super healthy since it calls for low-sodium chicken broth and tons of veg. You can easily use a rotisserie chicken for this to help speed up the cooking process. The best part? You're gonna have plenty of leftovers to eat on. (via Kathryn's Kitchen)

Sweet Potato & Broccoli Rabe Sheet Pan Dinner with Ginger Peanut Sauce

Sheet pan meals are simply amazing, saving you considerable time prepping dinner (and cleaning up after it). We love how colorful this recipe is! The zingy ginger-peanut sauce truly makes it a standout in terms of healthy recipes for weight loss. (via The First Mess)

Kale Pear Salad with Candied Walnuts

Though you might feel a bit hesitant to start mixing in sweeter ingredients with something that's typically savory (like a salad), this dish packed with dried cranberries, candied walnuts, and tangy blue cheese will definitely change your mind. Load up a big bowl for yourself to soak in all the fiber, antioxidants, and vitamins it has to offer! (via Feel Good Foodie)

Teriyaki BBQ Grilled Shrimp Skewers

Because, truly, what's more fun than eating your dinner off of a stick? These shrimp skewers are light, yet flavorful. Pair 'em with some brown rice to incorporate a healthy grain and complete the meal. (via A Spicy Perspective)

Easy Japchae

Japchae (AKA Korean glass noodle stir fry) hosts a whole rainbow of veggies, protein-ful egg, and small pieces of tender beef to fill you up. With this recipe, you'll be cheffing it up just like your local takeout joint in no time. (via Takes Two Eggs)

Greek Chicken Bowls with Toasted Pearl Couscous

CAVA, who?! These Greek chicken bowls present some pretty hot competition for one of our fave food chains. They're healthy and filling, plus totally customizable in terms of the toppings. (via Barley & Sage)