The Evolution of Self-Help and What It Looks Like Today

What body wash should I use for dry skin?

Any hydrating body wash with a creamy or oily consistency can be beneficial for dry skin, helping deposit more moisture during the cleansing process without disturbing your skin’s barrier. We recommend Naturium’s The Glow Getter Multi-Oil Hydrating Body Wash, which boasts a nourishing oil-to-lather formula. If you have dry, flaky skin, it also may be best to avoid body washes that have fragrances as they can dry you out even more. Gentle, fragrance-free body washes like Aveeno’s Triple Oat Skin Relief Body Wash are typically a safe, soothing choice.

Dove Deep Moisture Body Wash

I personally used this body wash from Dove all throughout my high school years, where every single skincare concern I had on my face suddenly migrated to my body. I'm talkin' cystic acne, blackheads, and flaky patches. It was notenjoyable. While this body wash wasn't an immediate fix for what my extremely hormonal teenage skin was going through, it certainly helped soothe the intense dryness and didn't aggravate the other various issues at all. I can attest that it's definitely friendly for sensitive skin-havers! Plus, at $10 for around 30 fluid ounces of product, it's also easy on the wallet.

Method Simply Nourish Body Wash

I was on a good Method body wash stint for a while and probably kept this $8 bottle on rotation for about a years worth of showers. I'd be lying if I said I loved it for its moisturizing qualities only – this body wash also smells like pure heaven, which really adds to the experience of using it. It boasts a nice balance of coconut, rice milk, and shea butter, which work for your skin, not against it. Just a warning though: the fragrance may be a bit harsh for those with especially sensitive skin.

SheaMoisture Raw Shea Butter Body Wash

First, I fell in love with SheaMoisture's Smoothie Curl Enhancing Cream. Then, their body wash came along – it's only made my love for the brand grow, especially because it's given me undeniably nourished skin every time I hop out of the shower. According to SheaMoisture, this $12 pick is formulated to leave melanin-rich skin "visibly moisturized." I don't have melanin-rich skin by any means, but I still feel super moisturized after using this body wash, likely from the rich blend of shea butter, frankincense, myrrh, and ceramides in its formula.

Naturium The Glow Getter Multi-Oil Hydrating Body Wash

This $15 oil-to-cream body wash is the epitome of treat yourself. I really like that the bottle design can instantly upgrade to your shower set up, making every self-care night that much more luxurious. Not only does it look beautiful, it feels beautiful, too. This moisturizing body wash is made with glycerin, squalene, and a variety of rich oils that help replenish your skin's natural moisture and add even more nourishment with each use.

Soft Services Comfort Cleanse Ultra-Soothing + Moisturizing Body Wash

This $32 water-oil body wash formula lathers up just enough to lift and wash away impurities on your skin without being super harsh or amplifying dry skin woes. In fact, 100% of users in a product study agreed it was non-irritating for skin, and 91% of them said their skin felt more moisturized and comfortable over time – and I agree! To combat the noticeably-dry skin on my legs this fall, I've been using it routinely alongside Soft Services' Green Banana Buffing Bar and love how soft and supple my skin feels post-shower.

What is eldest daughter syndrome?

While The New York Timesreports that eldest daughter syndrome "isn’t an actual mental health diagnosis" — AKA it's not an official disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) — the symptoms seem to have a very real effect on the people struggling with it. Paruolo explains, "Often times with my clients, we explore 'eldest daughter experiences' as a way to avoid pathologizing this now normalized response to family roles and expectations. The eldest daughter experiences behavioral patterns and emotional experiences that are unique to their birth order in comparison to other siblings."

What does this all mean in practice? Paruolo says that families tend to place a ton more expectations on firstborn children, from achievements to overall responsibilities. According to Paruolo, this can put pressure on these children to lead and set a good example for younger siblings. Over time, that pressure can grow and evolve, leading an eldest daughter to taking on more and more throughout her life — even outside of the family home she grew up in — and cause further complications in their relationships, workplace, and otherwise.

What are the symptoms of eldest daughter syndrome?

Like I said before, you naturally carry a lot of these experiences from childhood into your adult interactions. And while having leadership proclivities and high standards for yourself isn't inherently a bad thing, all of these pressing expectations can morph into more frustrating symptoms later on in life.

Since this isn't an exact diagnosis or disorder (yet), a lot of these symptoms can come from the practical findings from therapists over time. With Paruolo's clients, she's noticed that eldest daughters "might experience symptoms of perfectionism and unrealistic self-induced demands in both workplaces and relationships." She explains that this can look like a lack of delegation or asking for help. Paroulo also notes that eldest daughters may innately "prioritize others' needs before they acknowledge their own" — and if they choose to pick their own needs first, they may end up feeling guilty in the long run.

Each of these symptoms can pop up in an eldest daughter's day-to-day, but they can also have some unfortunate long term effects if they go unaddressed. "Long term effects might look like consciously or unconsciously being placed in a caregiving role, which can lead to burnout in many relationships," Paruolo says. She explains that this "immense pressure" and the climbing responsibilities can eventually cause chronic stress — and potentially even lead to resentment toward family members.

For a fictional — but still practical! — example, let's think about Daphne Bridgerton. In season 1, we immediately see the extreme weight Daphne bears to find a good, respectable marriage that will make her family proud and cement their societal standing even further. That's a ton of pressure for anyone of any age, let alone a 21-year-old woman. Meanwhile, her older brothers Anthony and Benedict are 29 and 27, respectively — and if you remember, they don't seem to nervous about their own standings on the marriage mart, let alone seem eager to marry yet at all.

But Daphne prevails! She marries The Duke of Hastings, conceives a child, and fulfills her family's dreams against all odds. If you thought that would be enough, and that Daphne officially check off her eldest daughter duty, you'd be wrong! In season 2, when Anthony finally decides to navigate his own marriage prospects, the family calls Daphne in for help to give advice and lead them through their struggles. So even though Daphne's started a family of her own (exactly what they wanted and asked of her!), her job is never done. She councils, aids, and doles out an endless supply of love and care.

What can parents do to prevent eldest daughter syndrome?

Parents have a lot to prioritize as they raise their families, but there are some small (but very powerful!) things they can do to help prevent eldest daughter syndrome from getting out of hand. First and foremost, Paruolo wants parents to know how important it is to be mindful of how they speak to their children, regardless of their birth order. She stresses that a parents' voice "often becomes the child's internal voice (and often the harshest critic)."

Next, Paruolo suggests creating a more open environment for the family to talk about their feelings about the family dynamic. By doing so, it seems like this could mitigate that resentment we've talked about before, where an eldest daughter may take on more and more without asking for help and eventually burning out. Paruolo notes you can have these conversations at family dinners or meetings — this offers a set time and place for each person to air their feelings.

Finally, Paruolo wants parents that they should be "mindful of the caregiving responsibilities they place on the eldest" while also "encouraging age-appropriate forms of independence for the children in the house." All these efforts can help "breed healthier dynamics," and hopefully make an eldest daughter's life a little easier, one step at a time.

How can women heal from their eldest daughter syndrome?

After reading all this, it may seem overwhelming to recognize that you're dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Luckily, your symptoms and struggles don't have to define you because Paruolo has some key advice for healing. "Women can deal with and heal from their oldest daughter syndrome by acknowledging their real and valid experiences," she says. "We don't tell someone with a broken leg to get over it, so the same nurturing and understanding of how the eldest daughter syndrome has shaped them is essential for their journey."

There are a few ways you can truly validate these eldest daughter experiences — and work to move on from them. Paruolo suggests practicing mindfulness in order to notice what your innate behaviors are. She says, "It can be a simple three second pause with the reflective question, 'Am I placing the oxygen mask on someone else before helping myself in this moment?'" In doing this, you're able to create a space where you allow yourself to choose your own needs first — or at least start acknowledging them more clearly.

One of the biggest — and I'd say hardest — practices that Paruolo suggests? Saying no. She says that acclimating to the discomfort of setting boundaries and saying that two-letter word can really help you form better, healthier habits. I know I could definitely do this more.

Finally, Paruolo wants eldest daughters to work on reframing their self-worth. She says, "Get curious about why it's an honor to be you (because it is!) and try to separate it from the caregiver or problem-solver role you have been continuously placed in."

If there's anything to take away from my conversation and research, I'd let it be this: your experiences as an eldest daughter are valid, and you deserve to prioritize yourself! Whether 'eldest daughter syndrome' is in a diagnostic book or not, it's clear that therapists are taking these instances seriously, honoring their clients needs — so why shouldn't you honor your own?

I don't want to end this article hypocritically. I struggle with my own eldest daughter tendencies daily, but it's helpful to know that there are very real steps I can take to make my life easier, to exhale. And maybe one day, these lived experiences we all share will be codified in the DSM-5, allowing future eldest daughters to have a clearer playbook to live by — because you know we love achievable, clear goals. 😉

How can someone check the expiration date for their makeup?

How many times have you picked up your order from Sephora or Ulta without looking at every detail of your makeup products? We're guilty of being more concerned about adding something to our routine too so don't feel like you're being called out! If you're not 100% sure how to start being mindful about something's shelf life, Prestidge and Healy want to let you in on a little secret.

"It's actually pretty simple. There's something called a PAO symbol, which stands for 'period after opening.' You'll find it on the exterior of makeup products — sometimes on the product itself but always on the box," he says. Wondering what it looks like? Healy says, "The PAO symbol looks like a small jar with a number followed by the letter 'M,' which stands for months. For example, '3M' means three months, '6M' means six months, and '12M' means twelve months."

Prestidge also adds, "Brands often print batch codes that consumers can input into websites like CheckCosmetic to determine the production date." If you've yet to open your product, Healy says "A good rule of thumb is to assume it will last about twice as long. So, if the PAO says '6M,' the product is good for six months after opening and likely up to twelve months if unopened."

Do some makeup products have a longer shelf life than others?

Based on what Healy shares, it's evident different makeup products have longer shelf lives than others, and there are plenty of different factors that determine why. "Products like mascara and eyeliner, which are used around the eyes and tend to be liquids or creams, typically have the shortest shelf life due to their risk of bacterial growth. You should replace them every three months," he says. Excuse us while we collectively clutch our pearls.

Now that we've caught our breath, we can breathe a sigh of relief because Healy says that's the only products we have to replace a little quicker. "Foundation and concealer, which are also liquids, can usually last up to a year. Lipstick is good for about a year, while lip gloss can last around 18 months," he shares. Still, Prestidge feels you should be especially mindful of liquid and cream products because their shorter lifespans are attributed to "their high water content which fosters bacteria."

For those of us who love other face products, we have an even longer time to replace them. "Powders, like brow powders, bronzers, and blushes, have a much longer shelf life — usually a year and a half to two years," Healy explains. Prestidge says this is because "they contain fewer ingredients prone to bacterial growth." And for good measure, Healy shares we can keep nail polish for "three years before it becomes dry and clumpy," and fragrances for "five years before they start to break down."

What are the top signs it's time to replace makeup?

Not always good at keeping track of when you bought your makeup? No worries — there are some key signs you can recognize that your makeup is likely expired. Healy points out you'll be able to see that "the formula may have shifted or separated, or the product may have dried." More often than not, both he and Prestidge agree expired products will often smell rancid. "For example, brow gel can smell musty if it's been sitting unused for a year. If you're unsure, it's better to throw it out," encourages Healy.

Not only that, but Prestidge says to pay attention to your product's color. "If the product's color shifts, it's a a sign it's degraded," she says. Also, your skin will let you know when expired products are irritating it. "If you notice itching, redness, or breakouts after using a product, it might be expired, she alerts.

To avoid this, go an extra step further by using a "label maker to note the purchase date on your products, or keep a record in your phone," suggests Healy. This will help lessen the chance you're using something that's full of harmful bacteria.

What can happen if someone keeps using expired makeup?

There are some things we'd love for you to be rebellious about, but using old makeup isn't one of them. Healy feels the same way and says, "Using expired makeup increases your risk of infection and irritation, which can lead to unsanitary conditions and even bacterial contamination."

The last thing we want is for you to get sick because you didn't want to let go of something. While symptoms may not always be as severe — Prestige says you could see allergic reactions, redness, or acne — Healy reminds us that "at the worst, it could result in serious infections that require treatment." This could look like developing styes or pink eye if you're "using old mascara or eyeliner," according to Prestidge.

Plus, your makeup won't give you the look you're going for if it's expired. "Expired products may no longer perform as intended, compromising coverage, color, or longevity," she says. Healy's ultimate advice? "Always be cautious, check for the PAO symbol, and replace products when needed."

Beauty Products You Need To Replace Every 3 Months

Lancôme Lash Idôle Volumizing Mascara

If you're going to replace your mascara, you need a comparable alternative that's going to give your lashes the length and volume you're used to having. Be sure to add this one to your cart today!

Urban Decay Glide-On Eye Pencil

Knowing that eyeliners go near your precious eyes, you'll want something that has a waterproof and smudge-proof formula like Urban Decay's Glide-On Pencil. You'll get up to 24 hours of wear that'll make you glad you decided to go for this option.

Beauty Products To Replace Every One To Two Years

ILIA True Skin Serum Foundation

If you're going to wear foundation, you should opt for something that feels like your skin. The medium coverage feels weightless and has a good dose of niacinamide and allantoin in it to help improve your texture over time.

e.l.f. Hydrating Camo Concealer

Get all the benefits of a high quality concealer without the luxury price with this $7 formula. It's hydrating so you're less likely to experience any creasing when you're trying to set it with your favorite powder.

Revlon ColorStay Suede Ink Lipstick

Give those lips a boost of color with Revlon's ColorStay Suede Ink Lipstick! You're going to get the best wear out of this no-transfer shade that has powerful pigment that doesn't cost more than $15.

NYX Professional Makeup Fat Lip Oil

Want juicy lips that don't feel sticky? You have to get this fat lip oil. You'll get up to 12 hours of wear that doesn't require you to reapply it which sounds like the very thing we could all use.

IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores Pressed Powder

Headed to an event and want an airbrushed look that makes jaws drop? You'll be hard-pressed not to have this pancake-type powder. It visibly minimizes your pores while also soaking up excess oils.

Physician's Formula Butter Bronzer

This yummy bronzer had us at hypoallergenic. It's going to give you a sun-kissed glow that'll make people wonder if you've been vacationing during colder months, but you don't have to share your inexpensive secret if you don't want to.

Covergirl Trublend So Flushed Blush

You need a blush that's going to work with your makeup and not against it. Instead of spending a fortune on something you're not sure will work, give Covergirl's Trublend product a spin. You'll get amazing pigment that lasts throughout the day and won't irritate your skin.