Can Myers-Briggs Compatibility Data Help You Find Your Romantic Match?

couple sitting and laughing togethercouple sitting and laughing together

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) assessment is the most widely known personality tool in the world. It is at times also the most widely misunderstood. The MBTI framework is incredibly impactful as part of team building to improve communication, manage change, improve decision-making, and work through conflict. It can also be valuable to help family members (couples, children, siblings, parents) learn to appreciate and value the differences in each other. This is why we have seen its use as part of couple’s therapy and pre-marriage counseling, for example. The MBTI assessment is not, however, meant for selection of any kind.

Simply put, selecting who you will date or not date solely based on their MBTI assessment results – those four letters that indicate someone’s personality preferences – is not only a bad idea, it’s a terrible one. And this comes from someone who has spent the last 34 years applying the MBTI assessment and considers it life changing... but only when used the right way.

It’s important to note that our MBTI results do not indicate how much or how little of a preference we have. Instead, our preferences are just that – a preference for one side of opposites (Extraversion vs Introversion; Sensing vs Intuition; Thinking vs Feeling; Judging vs Perceiving) over another side. This recognizes that while we might have a preference for Extraversion, it doesn’t mean we can’t learn how to live on the Introverted side when situations call for it. The point here is that any personality type, ESTJ for example, can be in a very happy and fulfilling relationship with any other personality type, INFP for another example, if both people in that relationship are motivated to appreciate, honor and learn from the differences each other brings to the table.

Learning how to appreciate others requires lots of self-awareness first and foremost. Understanding our own personality type preferences in terms of how those preferences help us and how they do not is a great place to start. Getting feedback from people in our lives, especially those who are very different from us, is a good way to do this. Good type development is about staying open to what we hear/learn from others while, of course, also holding true to who we are.

So, can the MBTI assessment play some role in our dating lives? Quick answer: Sure, as long as we understand that it is a tool to help us communicate with people and not change them to be something they are not. It’s also important to mention that how the MBTI assessment helps one person when dating can be very different from how it helps another.

Here are a few dating tips to consider based on your personality type and Myers-Briggs compatibility:

ISTJ and ISFJ

People with these preferences are often described as the storehouse of important memories who take in information based on what it reminds them of the past.

Dating Tips:

  1. Don’t let the past rule your present dating options
  2. Stay open to new experiences
  3. Use your superpower of remembering what did and didn’t work in past dating experiences to help you with this new one

ESTP and ESFP

People with these preferences are often described as realists who take in information with a “here and now” practical and to the point approach.

Dating Tips:

  1. Don’t let little details get in the way of future possibilities with your date
  2. Stay open to people who might be a bit outside the box
  3. Use your superpower of experiencing what is happening in the here and now to help you communicate and connect with your date

INFJ and INTJ

People with these preferences are often described as long-term visionaries who take in information from a big picture perspective.

Dating Tips:

  1. Don’t start imagining what life with your date will be like in 20 years just yet
  2. Stay open to being in the present moment
  3. Use your superpower of visioning just a few future possibilities with your date to begin to gauge how your new relationship might work

ENFP and ENTP

People with these preferences are often described as enthusiastic brainstormers who take in information using a curious and creative approach.

Dating Tips:

  1. Don’t overwhelm your date with too many ideas
  2. Stay open to focusing on your date in the here and now
  3. Use your superpower of brainstorming all kinds of things to talk about with your date and get to know them better

ISTP and INTP

People with these preferences are often described as critical thinkers who make decisions using a “pros vs cons” approach.

Dating Tips:

  1. Don’t make judgements about how things are going too soon
  2. Stay open to finding positives instead of just negatives
  3. Use your superpower of analyzing what you like and don’t like about the date to help you decide on moving forward or not

ESTJ and ENTJ

People with these preferences are often described as efficient organizers who make decisions from a task-focused and objective perspective.

Dating Tips:

  1. Don’t try to over organize the date
  2. Stay open to going with the flow
  3. Use your superpower of organizing something special to get to know your date better

INFP and ISFP

People with these preferences are often described as values-based problem-solvers who make decisions based on how those decisions honor their values.

Dating Tips:

  1. Don’t assume your date will share the exact same values you do
  2. Stay open to new perspectives and ideas
  3. Use your superpower of sharing your values in life as a way to connect with your date

ESFJ and ENFJ

People with these preferences are often described as considerate problem-solvers who make decisions based on the impact those decisions will have on others.

Dating Tips:

  1. Don’t get too close too soon
  2. Stay open to being more objective than you usually are
  3. Use your superpower of harmonizing with others to find things in common with your date

Like this Myers-Briggs compatibility content and want more? Take the official MBTI assessment here: www.mbtionline.com.

Michael Segovia is a Principal Consultant and Certification Faculty at The Myers-Briggs Company. In his 34-year career at The Myers-Briggs Company, Segovia has conducted hundreds of certification courses on the MBTI® assessment around the world. He speaks and writes regularly on the subjects of personality type, leadership, relationships and development. He also presented a TEDx Talk reflecting on how type theory has informed his understanding of his own life’s story.

Lead photo courtesy of Pexels/Pavel Danilyuk.

Arguments are a totally natural part of any relationship, but how we communicate and express our feelings during these tense situations can make all the difference.

When disagreements become frustrating, and emotions run high, it's easy to say things in the heat of the moment that we might not even mean. Yet, regardless of whether we regret our words, certain things cannot be taken back once they're spoken.

Plus, your statement could leave a lasting scar on your partner and cause a rift in your relationship that takes a while to heal.

That's why it's important to think carefully before you speak and avoid saying these 12 things to your significant other, even if you're angry at them.

Scroll to find out the things you should never say to your partner in an argument.

1. "You're crazy."

KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA

As soon as you tell your partner that they're "crazy" during a fight, you're suggesting that you don't trust their judgment or reasoning. Moreover, you're implying that their emotions are irrelevant and they don't have a right to feel the way they do.

Rather than jumping to this damaging statement, take a step back and try to truly listen to what they're upset about.

2. "I don't care."

Antoni Shkraba

On a similar note, telling your partner that you "don't care" when they're attempting to share their concerns is a recipe for disaster.

You're immediately shutting down any opportunity to resolve the issue at hand together and, again, invalidating your partner's feelings. Couples are supposed to care and support each other, especially during tough times, so saying "I don't care" is a cop-out that won't solve your argument any sooner.

3. "You always..." or "You never..."

Timur Weber

"Always" and "never" are absolute phrases, meaning the behavior referred to actually has to occur every single time. If there's one thing that's true about humans, though, it's that we don't tend to do anything 100% the same way in literally every scenario.

These absolute phrases are typically used during fights to call attention to habit patterns. But while they may feel appropriate in your mind, it can feel like an attack on your partner.

Moreover, saying they "always" or "never" do something will only add fuel to the fire if it's not entirely true.

4. "Why can't you be more like..."

Thirdman

We all have a relative or friend who seems to have a picture-perfect relationship. So, in times of irritation, it can be tempting to ask why your partner can't be more like your best friend's boyfriend, for instance, or your brother's girlfriend.

Just remember that comparison is the thief of joy, and in relationships, it can plant seeds of doubt about your love in your partner's mind. We are supposed to care for our significant others unconditionally, but by comparing them to someone else, you're implying that they aren't enough for you.

5. "You'd do it if you loved me."

Yan Krukau

There's nothing more immature or damaging than trying to emotionally blackmail your partner into doing something you want.

It's manipulative, pressuring, and shows that you don't respect your partner's boundaries. It can also create an imbalance of power and cause your significant other to feel taken advantage of.

6. "You've changed."

RDNE Stock project

Evolution is how humans survive, so it is natural for people to change in relationships, whether they be romantic or platonic.

When partnerships grow from short to long-term, different life events are bound to happen, too. Being presented with struggles or trauma and how we cope with those challenges can change a person.

So, accusing your partner of "changing" with a negative connotation is unhealthy. It suggests that things are supposed to stay stagnant, never transforming, which isn't realistic and will probably just be perceived as judgmental.

7. "My ex would never do that."

Viktoria Slowikowska

Just like how you shouldn't compare your significant other to people in other happy relationships, you should never compare them to your exes, either.

First, this will definitely escalate the argument, making your partner feel angry and insecure. On top of that, they may begin to question your love and trust, wondering if you'd rather be with your ex than them.

8. "This was a mistake."

Nataliya Vaitkevich

It's never smart to make choices when tensions are high. That's why you should avoid making snap decisions about your relationship in the middle of arguments.

Once you utter the words "this was a mistake," it signals that you don't believe in your relationship at all. Whether you mean it or not, this statement can be extremely hard to come back from once things settle down and you want to make amends.

9. "I don't find you attractive anymore."

MART PRODUCTION

Saying "I don't find you attractive anymore" can be intended in two different ways. Perhaps you're trying to hurt your partner's feelings in regard to their appearance, or you mean their behavior is making them unattractive in your eyes.

Either way, bringing aesthetic opinions into play during an argument isn't productive. Instead of focusing on the actual issue at hand, you're just upsetting your partner more and introducing another thing to fight about.

10. "Your parents are the reason why..."

Antoni Shkraba

Maybe you're in a relationship with someone who dealt with childhood trauma. Or their parents might not approve of their partnership.

It's undeniable that both of these scenarios can make nurturing a romantic relationship more difficult. So why use your shared grievance as ammunition against your partner?

By involving their family in your argument, you're creating a divide between you and your partner rather than trying to tackle whatever problem you're facing as a united front.

11. Saying Nothing

Keira Burton

Along with all of these statements, saying nothing to your partner during an argument is just as harmful. Stonewalling them or giving them the cold shoulder isn't going to solve anything, and it makes you seem uncompassionate and immature.

Think about it: how would you feel if you were trying to express your feelings, and the person on the receiving end walked away or went on their phone, ignored eye contact, and said nothing in response? Would that diffuse the situation or make you feel heard? Probably not.

12. "Divorce."

Alex Green

Last but not least, you shouldn't ever call for divorce in the midst of a fight. After tying the knot with someone and making vows to stick by their side through thick and thin, asking for a divorce is serious.

Separation threats shouldn't be tossed around casually, and even if you don't truly mean it, merely uttering the word can lead your partner to doubt and second-guess your relationship.

Looking for more relationship advice? Be sure to sign up for our newsletter so you never miss a thing!

Jason Kelce may not play for the Philadelphia Eagles anymore, but even after retiring from the team last year, he and his wife, Kylie Kelce, have definitely remained in the spotlight. While their very successful podcasts (Not Gonna Lieand New Heights) continue to grow by the day, so does their adorable family!

Kylie and Jason first met on Tinder in 2014, and they later tied the knot in 2018. Since then, they've welcomed three kids — all girls — into the world together. The fan-favorite couple is expecting their fourth child, and people are so excited for them! However, Jason and Kylie have faced backlash for one parenting decision: how they've decided to name each of their kids. Here's the deal!

Scroll to find out the controversial baby names Jason & Kylie Kelce keep picking out!

Not Gonna Lie/Youtube

With each of their daughters, Jason and Kylie Kelce have picked pretty gender-neutral names: Wyatt, Elliotte, and Bennett. For their fourth, Kylie detailed how she and Jason want to keep the gender-neutral trend going – not just to ensure the name fits their latest addition but also out of fairness to their other kids.

"We're doing a little crossover action. I feel like we have to lean a bit towards those sort of gender-neutral names for our fourth because we have Wyatt, Elliotte, [and] Bennett," she explained on Not Gonna Lie.

"So if we do a full commit to a girly name at this point, it would not sit well with the other three, I think. Eventually, they'll be like, 'Why did they get a cute girly name?'"

Call Her Daddy/Youtube

Yet, given how Not Gonna Lie started in December 2024, and Jason has been hosting New Heights with his brother, Travis Kelce, since 2022, plenty of eyes have been watching the couple's every move. And according to Kylie, certain fans haven't hesitated to criticize their baby name selections.

She recently appeared on Call Her Daddy, hosted by Alex Cooper, this February and opened up about some reasons why the public tends to hate on her. Kylie revealed how she and Jason received a ton of backlash following the announcement of all three of their children's names.

"We had that situation with Wyatt; our eldest is Wyatt. People are disturbed by the fact that we've named her Wyatt," Kylie detailed.

Not Gonna Lie/Youtube

Even so, she believes her daughter is "very much a Wyatt," and anyone who meets her daughter always agrees.

Additionally, Kylie shared how, when she was pregnant with Wyatt, people told her not to share her chosen baby name or else she'd "get reactions." But she didn't let that phase her.

"I'm like, 'I don't think you understand. I really don't care at that point.' If I've chosen, we're going with it," she recalled.

In true Kylie fashion, she even quipped about how perhaps her daughters will have an easier time as professionals in the future. After all, with gender-neutral names, Kylie joked that their "emails are going to be answered so fast."

It remains to be seen what baby name Kylie and Jason will pick for their fourth. Fans may just have to wait until her due date in the summer.

Looking for more celebrity news? Be sure to follow us on Facebook so you never miss a thing!

We've all heard of "roommate syndrome." The buzzword refers to when once-infatuated partners start living together, fall into a familiar rhythm, and begin to act more like platonic roommates than two people in a romantic relationship. But whether you actually live with your significant other or not, this phenomenon can still unfold. For some, busy schedules and demanding jobs threaten to come between their partnership; for others, personal stresses, mounting pet peeves, or differing goals can start to dismantle the unconditional love and connection you once felt.

Regardless of the cause (and despite what certain people may tell you), it's natural to drift apart from your significant other sometimes. Life isn't linear, and neither are our relationships. With that being said, once you recognize the signs, you can always work to undo the damage and reconnect with your partner, too. So, here are some of the telltale indicators that you're growing apart.

Scroll to find out the subtle signs you're growing apart from your partner!

1. Physical Affection Is Nonexistent

Kampus Production

Practically everyone can think back to a time when they were in a brand-new relationship, and the "honeymoon phase" seemed to be filled with never-ending hand-holding and kissing. Those of us in long-term relationships know that this behavior tends to fade over time.

However, there should still be a balance, and no physical affection at all could signal something is wrong beneath the surface. Before jumping to a conclusion, talk to your partner and determine if something exterior is making them not want to be affectionate. Or, if you've noticed a consistent pattern, have an honest conversation to express your needs.

2. Communication Is Limited

RDNE Stock project

Aside from remaining physically connected, talking to one another is how relationships survive. Without this glue, it's easy for partnerships to fall apart.

We'd like to call attention to a common misconception, though. More specifically, the quantity of conversation is not as important as the quality. For instance, if your partner suddenly isn't texting back immediately or engaging in super long conversations over dinner, it's not an immediate cause for concern.

Again, it's natural for previously endless conversations to shorten as relationships become more long-term. Rather, quality is what you should assess. If you feel as though your talks with your partner have become surface-level or like you can't truly express your feelings anymore, that's an indicator you may be drifting.

3. You're Stuck In The Blame Game

Liza Summer

It's completely normal to have disagreements with your partner or just get frustrated by some of their usual habits. However, when you try to communicate your feelings, do either of you ever jump to criticize or throw blame?

When someone is tired or under stress, an occasional outburst like that may be understandable. But repeatedly criticizing or blaming your partner for issues that you should be tackling together is a recipe for disaster.

Not only will the person being criticized or blamed get their feelings hurt, but it will also reduce trust and lead to perceived disrespect. All of this can make you and your partner feel as if you're growing apart.

4. You No Longer Talk About Future Plans

Alex Green

When you enter a relationship, decision-making becomes a two-person endeavor. It can also be really motivating and thrilling to discuss future plans together, whether that be moving to a new city, starting a business, or growing a family.

Yet, if these conversations randomly come to a halt or seem more like fantasies than realistic, that's a red flag. It can suggest that either you or your partner don't feel like you're on the same page or there's no longer excitement about your future life together.

5. Conflict Avoidance

Timur Weber

Relationships take serious work, and problems can't be fixed without effort from both parties. That's mainly why communication is so critical; it keeps things from feeling one-sided and facilitates conflict resolution.

So, if you or your partner actively tries to avoid discussing things that need to be addressed, it could mean you're drifting. Either you are afraid to open up a can of worms, perhaps because you've been blamed or criticized in the past, or you just don't feel like dealing with the problem is worth it.

6. Less Appearance Effort

Polina Zimmerman

After being in a relationship for a while, people tend to get comfortable. And that's actually a good thing. It signals that you feel safe, secure, and accepted for who you really are.

Still, there is a line that distinguishes natural comfort from complacency. If you or your partner don't try to look nice on special occasions anymore, it could suggest that you're taking each other for granted.

Of course, lounging around in athleisure wear at home or wearing no makeup is totally natural and acceptable. But if outfits and hygiene for date nights, anniversaries, birthdays, or other outings are becoming increasingly disheveled, it's a red flag.

7. You No Longer Participate In Shared Interests

RDNE Stock project

One of the best parts about having a significant other is discovering what interests you both share and participating in them together. Active couples might enjoy hiking, playing pickleball, or golfing, while more creative types may love concerts, visiting museums, and traveling.

Not only are these activities more fun when done with someone you love, but they also allow you to create new memories and spend quality time together. So, if you and your partner previously loved trying new things together, but the frequency has fallen off, it could mean something is wrong.

Your relationship suddenly lacks the closeness you both once felt through your hobbies, and the reduced connection can make you feel separated from your partner.

8. Even When You're Together, You Feel Alone

Antoni Shkraba

Finally, those who remain in love for decades generally share similar views of their significant others: their partners are their best friends.

But if you find yourself feeling alone while sitting next to your partner on the couch at the end of each night, that's a problem. Yes, friends and other relatives are important for maintaining separate platonic relationships and your own sense of identity, yet you shouldn't feel like you have to seek out companionship entirely from other people.

Even couples with completely different backgrounds, jobs, and interests can still manage to operate as a caring and united entity. So, unfortunately, feeling alone while spending time with your partner may be a sign that you've lost a sense of connection and have drifted apart.

Looking for more relationship advice? Be sure to sign up for our newsletter so you never miss a thing!

Oftentimes coming with subtle plum and dark berry tones, black lip glosses and lip balms are the ultimate way to add a little bit of edge and sophistication to your makeup routine.

While a blacklipstickmay be more opaque (and very gothic), black lip glosses and lip balms are sheer, so they’re easily buildable. From high-shine glosses to hydrating balms, there’s a perfect product waiting for you! You might just want to ditch your go-togloss after seeing these.

Shop our 10 fave black lip glosses and lip balms below!


Sephora

Isamaya Sheer Lipstick Balm

This lip balm is infused with vitamin E to keep your lips feeling nourished as ever.

Sephora

It delivers a subtle blush color on the lips, which is easily buildable with multiple applications!

Ulta

MAC Squirt Plumping Lip Gloss Stick

This black lip gloss is actually formulated to be plumping, adding a tingly feeling to your pout. It leaves behind a very sheer black "glassy shine" that encourages healthy-looking lips around the clock!

Amazon

Fwee 3D Changing Gloss

This color-changing black lip gloss is suitable for long-lasting, everyday wear because it's not sticky or heavy on the lips. Shoppers note that it makes a nice topper to "cool down" any warm lip shade.

Amazon

Makari Black Lip Butter Balm

This balm comes with a buttery feel in its formula, which is designed to repair and protect dry, chapped lips.

Amazon

It has a "sweet aroma" and deposits a rich berry color on the lips for a full sensory experience – you won't want to go anywhere without this tube!

Finding Ferdinand

Finding Ferdinand The Black Lip Balm

This black lip balm has a fun luxe feel to it, though it's not as intense as a traditional lipstick. It features a sheer, cool-toned berry shade that's easily buildable for the amount of color you want.

Finding Ferdinand

The balm is also enriched with moisturizing and nourishing oils for a supple pout that lasts all day long!

Sephora

Givenchy Universal Black Lip Balm

It's giving luxury. If you've got a taste for bougie beauty products but still want to give black lip balm a try, this is the pick for you. Its formula is pH-reactive, so it'll leave your lips with a custom berry shade!

Amazon

Maepeor Black Lip Gloss

This silky black lip gloss boasts a playful glittery sheen after one application. The formula is not thick or sticky, and at just $9, it's a great way to try out a black lippie for yourself without breaking the bank.

Sephora

Clarins Lip Comfort Hydrating Oil

Made with 93% "natural-origin" ingredients, your lips will feel naturally hydrated and oh-so shiny after putting this black lip oil on.

Sephora

The lightweight formula that delivers a beautiful berry shade also hugs your lips with a "thin, protective veil" for unmatched shine.

Amazon

Black Honey Lipstick Tinted Lip Balm

Dry lips are no match for this black, almost-berry lip balm. The formula includes beeswax and vitamin E for a nice and nourished pout.

Colourpop

Colourpop Twilight Lux Lip Oil

Inspired by Twilight, this black lip oil shimmers subtly and delivers a pleasing layer of hydration to the lips with antioxidant-rich chamomile and calendula oils for a "kissably soft" effect!

Colourpop

The sheer pigment gives a hint of the black hue, but really just enhances your natural lip shade with a eye-catching sheen.

Subscribe to our newsletter to shop more editor-loved beauty products!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Any Nobody Wants This season 2 news is good news — but Leighton Meester joining the cast is possibly the best update we could ever hope for! Variety reported that the Gossip Girl actress will appear on the show, and she's playing a character that we're sure will add plenty of laughs to the already very funny series.

Leighton's husband (Adam Brody, duh) gave a breakout performance in the show last year. From his instant chemistry with Kristen Bell (that KISS) to the unique relationship the the show portrayed, it was very clear fans couldn't get enough of it. And now, they'll get an extra dose of excitement with Leighton coming along for the ride. Let's get into it!

Here's everything we know about Leighton Meester joining Nobody Wants This season 2!

Adam Rose/Netflix

On February 20, 2025 Variety reported that Leighton Meester is officially joining Nobody Wants This season 2 alongside actor Miles Fowler. According to the article, Leighton's playing a character named Abby, an "Instagram mommy influencer" who used to be middle school BFFs with Joanne (Kristen Bell). We can't WAIT to see how that hilarity ensues — and how Adam Brody gets roped into it all.

This isn't the first time Leighton and Adam have appeared onscreen together before. Adam's actually appeared on several of Leighton's projects, including Single Parents, River Wild, and Good Cop/Bad Cop. They even co-starred in the 2014 film, Life Partners, alongside Gillian Jacobs (The Bear). Fingers crossed these two continue working on projects together for years to come!

In the meantime, we're counting down the days until Nobody Wants Thisseason 2 finally drops — and we can see our fave couple on screen together again!

Looking for more entertainment news? Be sure to follow us on Facebook so you never miss a thing!