While you’re thinking about buying that new technological gadget for the holidays, you may also want to look your way toward that most analog of gifts, a novel. The three new releases in this week’s book club introduce us to varying degrees of technical dystopia, as new technologies make their characters question their life choices, live out re-educating punishments, and turn into easily controlled mobs via a simple virus. They serve as cautionary tales for our digitally dependent present. (But, okay, you can get them on an e-reader.)
I thought I'd discovered all of the best celebrity book clubs this year, but writing about the new novels debuting in 2025 proved I haven't. I saw an upcoming book — a riveting story that reads like how Succession might unfold in a Black family — was was surprised to find Mindy Kaling's stamp of approval. She's one of the brilliant minds that wrote for The Office, one of the best fan-favorite NBC shows to date. Also, she gave the world six seasons of The Mindy Project and multiple seasons of The Sex Lives of College Girls, continuously proving that she's as great of an actress as she is a screenwriter or producer.
Knowing this, I think it pans out that the 8 books on her book club list have intricate stories and equally pretty covers for reading that feels attainable.
Keep scrolling to learn about every book picked by Mindy's Book Studio
Amazon
The Vibrant Years by Sonali Dev
Anyone would be happy to be a million dollars richer, but not Bindu Desai. She's shocked, but she's also dreading the discovering of something that happened when she was younger. The only way she feels she can bypass this unfortunate event is by choosing to move to Florida. The problem with that is her daughter-in-law Aly still lives with her. As unexpected as this move is, Aly tries to find the bright side in it. She figures that this will give her a chance to reach a turning point in her career.
Then there's Aly's daughter, Cullie. As successful as she once was in the tech industry, Cullie's been struggling and has to face her investors. She's not completely helpless because they're in love with the idea of a dating app, but Cullie doesn't really know what it means to be immersed in the romantic world. Left with no other choice, she'll have to lean on her grandmother Bindu and her mom Aly to help her do what's felt impossible — date. You know, for research purposes.
Amazon
I'll Stop the World by Lauren Thoman
The deaths of Justin Warren's grandparents have followed him most of his life and he can't stand it. He's also over the fact he lives in a town where opportunity and excitement don't exist. Despite never meeting his grandparents, it seems nothing good has come from him being born.
Stuck with making odd choices left and right, Justin eventually meets Rose Yin. The ironic thing is that he discovers she lives in a time before he was born, meaning he's somehow landed himself back in time. And guess who's still alive at this point? His grandparents.
In order to get Justin back where he belongs, he and Rose have a short amount of time to figure out what could've cause this time jump. Also, they'll have to try to rewrite history by preventing something that triggers his grandparents' deaths.
Amazon
The Better Halfby Alli Frank & Asha Youmans
Nina Morgan Clarke has been through a lot between her divorce and making sure her daughter Xandra settles in nicely at boarding school. But now it's her time to shine as a the head of Royal-Hawkins School. She's been waiting for this moment and it's finally hers.
To celebrate, Nina and her bestie Marisol decided to go on a girls' trip. Just as she's finally trusting that everything's going according to plan, Jared Jones makes an unpleasant appearance. He's all ego with his Harvard education and knows how to get under Nina's skin. Suddenly, Xandra's making huge accusations at school while Nina's embracing something that she never thought she would.
Only one question remains: Is this truly the better half of Nina's life?
Amazon
Woke Up Like This by Amy Lea
Charlotte Wu takes her organizational skills seriously and wants to make sure prom is flawlessly executed. She's doing well until a little mishap causes her to face-plant into J.T. Renner. He's the last person she wants to run into, but she doesn't remember much besides waking up years later as a 30-year-old woman. By her side is the sexy bane of her high school existence — J.T. Renner.
They're both confused about their adult lives and how they went from hating to loving each other, so they let curiosity lead the way. What they both discover is there was also more to their high school selves than they initially knew about. As much as they yearn to be teenagers again, they'll have to figure out if they want things to change or stay the same now that they know there's love between them.
Amazon
Almost Surely Dead by Amina Akhtar
Dunia Ahmed went from being an amazing pharmacist to having her case talked about in the world of true crime. No one knows where she is as she's disappeared without a trace. Prior to that, she lived in New York and was dealing with the fallout from her engagement as well as the grief from losing her mom. In her mind, things couldn't get any worse until she realizes someone wants her dead.
Amazon
Friends in Napa by Sheila Yasmin Marikar
Raj and Rachel Ranjani are excited to spend time with their trusted friends in Napa Valley. They have a beautiful itinerary that includes spending time at their mansion, wine tastings, and more! But, these friends haven't seen each other in a long time.
From a cold welcome to the fact the Ranjanis don't seem to be on the same team, one weird thing after another happens. There's old arguments and rekindled crushes that rips this friend group to shreds. Worse, one of them doesn't make it make home because they're discovered dead. But, who could've wanted to kill them in the first place?
Amazon
Sorry for the Inconvenienceby Farah Naz Rishi
Farah Naz Rishi's freshman year of college was amazing in her eyes. She managed to move on from her last relationship and mom's marriage expectations, making her feel like she could do anything. She even stopped looking for love until Stephen came into view.
Neither of them feel butterflies at first, plus Farah knows there's no way Stephen would gain her mom's approval. But time gives way to a burning flame that becomes a solid bond because Stephen is there for all of Farah's ups and downs. He's become the one person she trusts with her all of her feelings and intimate moments in a platonic way.
But, sometimes love is hard to ignore when it's a slow burn that gives way to something that defies familial and societal rules.
Amazon
Drop Dead Sisters by Amelia Diane Coombs
Remi Finch doesn't get along with her family at all and knows there's nothing she has in common with her sisters. She has too many anxious thoughts in her mind that makes her keep everyone at arm's length. But, a family reunion convinces her to at least try. It all sounds great until someone dies where they've been camping.
The sisters develop an elaborate scheme to dispose of the body and eliminate the chance others will discover what happened. It's an odd way to start bonding, but sometimes traumatic things have a way of making people realize what's important.
Don't forget to check out Jenna Bush Hager's December book club pick after this!
Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).
These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.
@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕
1. Chamoy Pickles
People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.
But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!
This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.
If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.
@dualipaofficial What do we call her?
♬ original sound - Dua Lipa
2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke
Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.
This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.
@logagm New cucumber recipe 🚨
♬ original sound - Logan
3. Cucumber Salad
If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.
"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.
It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!
@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger
4. Sea Grapes
It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).
They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.
@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒
5. Exploding Candies
The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.
First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.
I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.
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HBO Max renewedEuphoria for a third season back in 2022, but we sadly haven't seen any progress on the show in the way of filming. Though details surrounding the plot for Euphoria season 3 haven't been revealed, we are awaiting the TV show with excitement!
Euphoria has inspired our coolest makeup looks and on-point Halloween costumes, so we can’t wait to see what the next season of this neon-lighted, drama-filled story holds. Here’s what we know about season 3, thus far. Stay tuned for more updates!
Keep reading for everything we know about Euphoria season 3, filming in 2025.
- Euphoria season 3 is officially moving forward, and will start filming in 2025.
- Cast members like Zendaya, Sydney Sweeney, Jacob Elordi, and Hunter Schafer are returning.
- Despite the fact creator Sam Levinson suggest Zendaya's schedule caused Euphoria production delays, the actress said she's "just waiting" to return to the show.
Is Euphoria season 3 coming out soon?
Eddy Chen / HBO
Euphoria Season 3 Release Date
Variety confirmed that we should be seeing Euphoria season 3 in 2026...but after an almost-three year wait...does anyone actually care anymore? I'm excited to see Zendaya return to the role that won her an Emmy (as well as the rest of the cast, obvi), but it's hard to be thrilled about something after such a long time. Luckily, fans are familiar with waiting a long time for new releases (remember that 2 ½-year wait for Euphoria season 2?), and hopefully the pent-up hype will be worth it when the show finally comes to streaming.
What's going to happen in Euphoria season 3?
Eddy Chen / HBO
Euphoria Season 3 Plot
Season 2 of Euphoria left us with a lot to unpack: Rue’s (potential) sobriety, Lexi’s chaotic play, Fez and Ash’s shootings, Cal’s insane sexual spiral, and of course, the glorious girl fight between Maddy and Cassie. The third season has some loose ends to tie up, and we can’t wait to see how it’s done.
Sam Levinson tells EllethatEuphoria season 3 is more of a “film noir,” and that Rue's plot line will “explore what it means to be an individual with principles in a corrupt world.”
Originally, Sam showed multiple story ideas to both Zendaya and HBO (and although Z doesn't have total creative control, as an executive producer, she does get a say in where her story goes). The show will feature a time jump, bringing the characters closer to the actors' ages. According to Variety, the first draft of the script gave the "meaty" storyline to Sydney Sweeney and Jacob Elordi, and featured Zendaya's Rue as a private detective in more of a background role. More recent rewrites incorporated Z's idea of making Rue, who would now be sober, a pregnancy surrogate. Unfortunately, "the new scripts simply didn’t feel like the show tonally."
HBO chairman & CEO Casey Bloys told Variety that Sam Levinson is furiously working on the scripts. "One of the issues I think that Sam is thinking about is that he doesn’t want to have it in high school anymore. That’s where it was set and what made sense then," he says. "So when you take it out of that, there’s a lot of back and forth about where to set it and how far in the future to set it and all that stuff. But I think he’s got a take that he’s excited about, and he’s busy writing."
Is Storm Reid going to be in Euphoria season 3?
Eddy Chen/HBO
Euphoria Season 3 Cast
No, Storm Reid won't be in Euphoria season 3. On November 20, she revealed she wouldn't return as Zendaya's onscreen sister Gia. “I’m very excited for Season 3,” she said in a Rotten Tomatoes interview at the Governors Awards. “Unfortunately, Gia’s not returning to the third season, but I am so so indebted to the cast and the crew of that show, to HBO. Euphoria’s a really special thing and I’m so glad that that’s a part of my legacy and that I was a part of such a cultural phenomenon.”
However, we also know that Barbie Ferreira (Kat) won’t be returning for season 3, due to butting heads one too many times with the show’s creator, Sam Levinson.
Okay, so who's actually in Euphoria season 3?
Eddy Chen / HBO
At the 2024 Sundance Film Festival, Dominic Fike (who played Elliot in Euphoria season 2) told Variety it “would be dope” to come back for Euphoria season 3, but that “I don’t really talk to them anymore.” And after Angus Cloud's (Fez) tragic passing, some fans were calling for HBO Max to cancel the series.
But when we finally do see the series again, we’ll see more of the main cast: Zendaya (Rue), Sydney Sweeney (Cassie), Hunter Schafer (Jules), Alexa Demie (Maddy), Jacob Elordi (Nate), Maude Apatow (Lexi), and more – but who knows? The production team may surprise us with new additions, like they did with Dominic Fike’s Elliot.
And the cast is even more excited for the show to return than we are! While Sydney Sweeney says she "honestly" doesn't “know anything about it,” (although she's hoping for "Crazy Cassie": "The crazier, the better for me."), Sweeney can't wait to reunite with Zendaya, Jacob Elordi, Alexa Demie, and everyone else from the show.
“They were the crew and the cast that were there at the beginning of my career,” she tells The Hollywood Reporter. “We all came up from different places but came together and were navigating so much at the same time, so it’s really nice having that core group. They’re experiencing a similarity to what I’m going through. It’s nice to have that community.”
Why is Euphoria season 3 delayed?
Eddy Chen / HBO
We've been waiting for Euphoria season 3 for over two years, but there's a very good reason for the delay. After a source told THR Zendaya was to blame, the actress reportedly laughed at the idea. “I will say, I have been off for a couple years, so not delayed because of my [schedule]…I’ve been open, just waiting,” the actress told Vanity Fair. "I haven’t read anything yet, but I’m excited to see what everyone has been working on, and what the future looks like for Euphoria...My most important thing is to do justice by the people who love and care about Rue, and make sure that she’s looked after as a character. I think that’s my number one duty."
Actor Colman Domingo has another explanation for the delay: “[Sam Levinson is] a person who writes and rewrites and writes and rewrites again, because I think he's wrestling with what's important,” he tells GQ. “He's responding immediately to what the ills of the world are. I know that the one thing I can tell you is that he's very much interested in the existential question of who we are right now. Our souls. That's what he wants to figure out with season three.”
“HBO and Sam Levinson remain committed to making an exceptional third season,” HBO says in a statement to Deadlineabout the show's official, if temporary, pause. “In the interim, we are allowing our in-demand cast to pursue other opportunities.”
So much has happened in the real world since the end of Euphoria season 2 that could have an impact on the new installment, and I can't wait to see what that looks like!
When will Euphoria season 3 start filming?
Eddy Chen / HBO
Euphoria season 3 will begin filming in January 2025. “We are shooting Euphoria,” HBO's Casey Bloys said at an HBO/Max press event on November 12. "I think we have a start date, mid to late January. Nothing’s changed...We are shooting the season. I have read the scripts. We’re happy. We’re moving ahead. All of the actors are in the show.”
The Euphoria season 3 delay comes down to significant script rewrites (not to mention how busy the cast is!). According to Variety, the original plan was for the Euphoria cast to work on other projects throughout 2024, and that filming the new season could take at least 25 weeks. However, it looks like that plan could change at any time.
In a March 2024 interview with Who What Wear, Sydney Sweeney shared her excitement to return. "It’s going to be very, very wild,” she says. And regarding the time gap between seasons 2 and 3, Sydney “actually [likes] it because there’s so much room for growth for both me as a person and also Cassie as a character."
Storm Reid, who plays Rue's (Zendaya) little sister Gia in the series, expressed her hope (and a bit of hesitance) in for Euphoria season 3 in talks with E! News at the Challengerspremiere in April 2024. "We're on pause right now, but we're anxious to get back," she said. "If it's meant to be, we'll be back soon and we'll give the audience what they want and deserve. Hopefully, we will be back."
On the other hand, according to an article published by Vanity Fair, another cast member (who wished to remain anonymous) said at the time, “I just don’t think it will happen.”
The anonymous actor also shed some light on the show's delay. “Since January of 2022, we have had a start date of March that turned into June, that turned into January,” they say. “And then they kept pushing every month from then on. It was two full years of HBO telling all the actors we were going back soon, so we couldn’t take some jobs.”
Now that Euphoria season 3 is officially on hiatus, the cast members aren't barred from taking further jobs, they say: “Before last week I couldn’t take any TV jobs. Since they have put it on hiatus, I can now take any job. But what sucks is that we all had more momentum right when the show came out but now it’s been 2 years of waiting.”
Eddy Chen / HBO
Hunter Schafer, who plays Jules in the series, joined the Call Her Daddy podcast podcast in August 2024, discussing everything from relationships to fame. The topic of whether or not Euphoria season 3 is going to happen came up – as it's pretty hard to ignore at this point – and Schafer immediately got emotional.
Alex Cooper, the host of the podcast asked, "Is season 3 happening? What are we doing?"
"I think everyone feels a certain sense of anticipation for, like, if we are supposed to do a season 3," Schafer said between tears. "Obviously, I'm still coming to qualms with what's happened, and losing people that we really loved and were a part of this family and everything," she said, referring to the passings of co-star Angus Cloud and screenwriter Kevin Turen.
"If we do go back, that's going to be tough," Schafer said. "I think there's a world in which we can channel that into making it a beautiful season 3."
Will there be a time jump in Euphoria season 3?
Eddy Chen / HBO
Multiple stakeholders in the Euphoria-verse expressed their interest in seeing the characters out of high school. When asked about season 3 in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Zendaya expressed her eagerness to see what post-East Highland will look like for the cast:
“I think it’ll be exciting to explore the characters out of high school,” said Zendaya. “I want to see what Rue looks like in her sobriety journey, how chaotic that might look. But also with all the characters, in the sense where they’re trying to figure out what to do with their lives when high school is over and what kind of people they want to be.”
Heidi Bivens, the HBO show’s costume designer, hinted further at a time jump between seasons 2 and 3 when talking with Vogue: “There is talk of [season 3] being approximately five years in the future, and that they’re not in high school anymore. Dorothy’s not in Kansas anymore.”
How many Euphoria seasons are there?
Eddy Chen / HBO
There are currently two seasons of Euphoria — both of which you can stream on HBO Max now. And it sounds like Euphoria season 3 will be the final installment. The Euphoria cast is contracted for the junior season, and according to a Variety source, they're all committed to seeing the story "through to the end with a third season."
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This post has been updated.
First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.
Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.
Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been
1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.
I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.
"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.
As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."
Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.
2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.
While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."
Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.
Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."
3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.
Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?
Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.
You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says
4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.
*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."
Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.
4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.
Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.
Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.
I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."
5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.
Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."
At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.
What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?
First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."
I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.
"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.
Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.
Here are Menon's tips:
- Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
- Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.
I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?
I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.
"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."
Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."
He wants you to consider these things:
- Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
- Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
- Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.
Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.
That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.
Nina Dobrev Just Shut Down Years Of 'Vampire Diaries' Drama Rumors (And The Internet's Going Crazy)
Dec 09, 2024
No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!
Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.
As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.
"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!
In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.
While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.
"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!
- YouTube
When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."
And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."
"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!