7 Things You Should Never Say to a New Mom

Your BFF just brought a human being into the world. That’s right — she just spent three-quarters of a day (or more!) pushing out a baby or having a C-section, which is major surgery. Now that the little one has arrived, you’re ready to host your BFF and her new baby. Before you open your mouth and say something to her that causes a sudden look of sadness or (even worse) a storm of postpartum rage, check out what you should NOT say to the mom of a newborn.

1. Is the baby sleeping through the night? Most likely, the baby is not sleeping through the night. A new mama’s response will probably be somewhere between, “That won’t happen for a while” and, “Are you out of your mind, crazy?!” Mom is tired. Oh so tired. She doesn’t need someone else reminding her that there’s no hope for a good night of sleep in the near future.

2. Don’t worry, you’ll lose the baby weight. Oh, come on. She just had a baby. There’s no way she’s already on track to shed those pounds. Okay, so maybe she’s already thinking about how to take it off. But right now she needs to focus on taking care of baby — and herself. Your new mama friend doesn’t need her extra pounds pointed out.

3.It all goes by so quickly. So, this one is completely true. It does go by way too quickly. She’ll blink and her newborn will suddenly be heading off to college. But she’s taking things one day at a time with her newborn. She’s pushing through the cry for hours, change poopy diaper after poopy diaper, get no sleep phase. The mom of a newborn doesn’t need to worry about what she’ll miss when she’s currently working through a really tough few months. She’ll have plenty of time to enjoy baby after she gets the hang of this whole mom thing.

4. When are you going back to work? This topic can go one of the two ways. Maybe mama is perfectly happy at home and is dreading going back to work. The very thought of spending every day away from her brand new little one will send her into tears — right in front of you. Or it’s possible that the new mommy is missing her job. Even though she’s thrilled to be with her baby right now, she kind of longs for some actual adult time. Your question might make her sudden transition from professional to diaper changer stand out even more than it already does. Stay away from asking questions. She’ll bring it up if she wants your advice.

5. Did you know it costs somewhere around $233,610 to raise a child? Yes. Yes, she does. She’s a new mom. Which means she’s probably read tons of articles about raising a baby (including the latest USDA report on expenditures on children). Even if she hasn’t really read the report, between furnishing the nursery and stocking the changing table with diapers and wipes, she’s already gotten a primer on what the (very high) costs will be.

6. Do you want a drink? Well, yes. Absolutely. Mama’s tired, cranky, and would seriously say yes to a tall glass of Pinot. But that doesn’t mean she’ll have one. She’s spent nine months going without, and now she’s nursing. Sure, she can pump and dump. That doesn’t mean she’ll be comfortable doing it right away. Instead of playing the role of temptress, let the new mom do the asking.

7. Did it hurt? This is (obviously) in reference to childbirth. Come on, you know the answer. If you squeezed something that’s roughly the size of a small watermelon out of you, it would hurt. It’s no surprise that labor and delivery hurt — a lot. Your new mom BFF wants to focus on her adorable little baby, not the painful way she got here.

What question, comment, or conversation topic do you think should be off limits when talking to a new mom? Tweet us @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

Blake Lively is as multifaceted as they come. She's an actress who has starred in titles like Gossip Girl, A Simple Favor, and The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (plus It Ends With Us). She's the founder of Betty Buzz, which has a variety of non-alcoholic mixers that taste just as good on their own as they do with liquor. And, she's also a mom. Lively has been outspoken about protecting her children from the paparazzi, making rare public appearances with them for events like her husband Ryan Reynolds' Hollywood Walk Of Fame Ceremonyandcozy date nights.

When Lively and Reynolds seemingly announced the birth of their fourth child last year, we melted. Here's everything you need to know about Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's kids.

Is Taylor Swift friends with Blake Lively's kids?

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Yes, Taylor Swift loves Blake Lively's kids! The family has shown up to the Eras Tour multiple times, and most recently supported the popstar at her concert in New Orleans, Louisiana. Blake and Ryan were joined by oldest daughter James (who looked amazing in a Reputation-inspired 'fit), and I can't believe how much James and Blake look alike! She's truly her mini-me! At the Philadelphia show of the Eras Tour, which Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively attended, Taylor said hello from the stage.

One funny detail about Ryan Reynolds' kids that I love is when he mentioned the girls finally realized Taylor Swift was a popstar. "I think what's most exciting for them is that for the longest time they just thought Taylor's just like an aunt, like a friend of Mommy and Daddy that's very, very close, almost family," he tellsThe Jess Cagle Show. "And then they went to a concert one day and were like, 'Ohhhhh, this isn't a hobby.'"

For Super Bowl Sunday in 2024, Blake Lively joined Taylor Swift to support beau (and KC Chiefs tight end) Travis Kelce. "Last week I left my kids for the first time ever," she says on Instagram. "I took pictures upside down and had no clue. I treated a friendship bracelet like a Flat Stanley for my husband like I didn’t realize it wasn’t ‘07. I borrowed more jewelry than the skeleton in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. And I went clubbing. Now I know what my episode of TheTwilight Zone would look like."

How do Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively prioritize their kids?

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At the end of September, Ryan Reynolds revealed how different parenting seems to be now than when he was a kid. "Parents today are so different. We're so soft," he said at HubSpot’s INBOUND tech conference (via People). "I don't yell. I grew up with like — it was nuts, it was an improvised militia.”

“Now it's like, I can go look at all my resources for parenting and remind myself how to be perfectly compassionate,” he continued. "Something I love about [conflict resolution], and I know this is not very fancy, but what I love about it is that you can meet somebody where they are, and you don't have to be right or wrong...You can disagree and still connect."

Blake Lively recently joined an episode of her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' costar Amber Tamblyn's Further Adoand revealed the one unbreakable rule she made with Ryan Reynolds.

“When Ryan and I got together, we made a rule not to work at the same time,” she says. “So that we could always prioritize our personal life...That takes working really hard when we're not. Just like financial planning and sustaining that; it takes balance.”

I love that Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are serious about their family life, and that they have identified what works for them and are sticking with it.

What is the name of Blake Lively's 4th baby?

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Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' fourth baby is named Olin, which he revealed during the July 22 premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine!

Before Ryan chose to reveal the name, he appeared on the Today show and made a cheeky joke about it after the hosts urged him to spill the beans. He said, "We always wait for Taylor to tell us what the child's name will be. We'll say this: we're still waiting."

What are Blake Lively kids ages?

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Blake Lively's kids are all under 10. James is 9 (turning 10 on December 16), Inez is 7 (turning 8 on September 30), Betty is 4 (turning 5 on October 4), and Olin turned 1 in February.

What gender is Ryan and Blake's fourth child?

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On July 26, Ryan Reynolds confirmed that he and Blake Lively's fourth baby, born in February 2023, is a boy in an Instagram video supporting mental health charity Walking 4 Hope. Speaking with founder John Bell, who struggled with suicidal ideation after the 2020 loss of his son Jake, Reynolds says, “I want to share with you that I, too, have a son...Boy, John, if I love him one-tenth as much as you love Jake, I’ll feel like I’ve done a pretty d—mn good job.”

Considering how adorable James, Inez, and Betty are, I can only imagine how cute Blake Lively's son is!

How many children do Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have?

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Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have four kids. They welcomed their third daughter in 2019, making this new addition to the family their fourth child.

Did Blake Lively have a 4th baby?

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Blake Lively posted a pic on Super Bowl Sunday in 2023 showing what appears to be a post-baby body with the caption "Been busy."

Lively confirmed her fourth pregnancy in September 2022 when she arrived at her Forbes event in NYC cradling a baby bump and by posting her own personal photos on Instagramhoping that "the 11 guys waiting outside [her] home for a 🦄 sighting will leave [her] alone."

How old was Blake Lively when she had her first child?

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Blake Lively was 27 when she gave birth to her first daughter, James, in December of 2014.

Why did Blake Lively name her daughter James?

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The couple decided to name their daughter James after Reynolds' late father. While the name connects both James and Reynolds to his father, it also gives Lively the chance to bond with her daughter over having historically male names. "I liked having a boy's name," Lively said on Good Morning Americain 2015. "I thought I'd pass it on."

Their third daughter Betty's name is a tribute to Lively's late father. We didn't know the name of the couple's third baby until Taylor Swift used all three names in her 2020 album folklore. Swift also used James' voice at the beginning of her 2017 track "Gorgeous"! Does that mean we'll hear one of Ryan Reynolds' children in Reputation (Taylor's Version)? I hope so!

What has Ryan Reynolds said about raising their kids?

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In a conversation with Hugh Jackman ahead of Deadpool & Wolverine, Ryan Reynolds opened up about how his family has helped his anxiety. "I think it makes it better because your focus is less on yourself and more on your kids," he says (via People). "I love that I've had anxiety because when I see my kids experiencing some of that, which is probably genetic, I know how to address it in a way that is compassionate, that actually allows them to feel seen. I know that I can't just fix it. And I can communicate all that stuff to them and with them. I'm always grateful for it."

Per People, Ryan Reynolds has also made it clear he and Blake are wholly invested in the kids' daily lives. The doting husband and father enjoys the moments of "walking them to school and walking them back" as it deepens their bond. More than anything, Ryan and Blake's main goal is to make sure they teach their kids how to be introspective with Ryan saying "the thing we sort of hang our hat on the most is self-awareness with our kids."

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However, that doesn't mean Blake and Ryan don't absolutely love being parents. "We're very excited [and] we wouldn't do this four times if we didn't love it," he says in an interview with CNBC's Power Lunch. "Everybody's doing great. Everybody's actually doing fantastic. I think if we hadn't figured it out by now, I think we'd be in deep, deep trouble."

"It's a zoo over here," he jokes. "This is my office here, this is where I'll probably — to be honest, I'll probably spend the rest of my life in here."

We love how much energy Ryan and Blake are pouring into their kids. It's always beautiful when parents are able to be present with their kids and teach them how to be present with themselves. Ryan Reynolds has also mentioned how having daughters "has been such a ride." Since he comes from a family of all boys, having daughters is something that was beyond his wildest dreams! “I love being a girl dad,” Ryan tells Access in 2020. “I have three daughters, which I never in a million years would imagine.”

He mentioned his newest child in June of 2023, when he announced his new series Bedtime Stories. "The idea for a show made to help everyone fall asleep was born the same day as my fourth child," he says on Instagram.

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

The Deadpool actor also recently offered some parenting advice on Amanda Hirsch’s hit podcastNot Skinny But Not Fat. "Embrace the chaos,” he tells Hirsch. "[Blake] always says, ‘They're all under our roof right now. The whole family's under our roof right now. We have them all.’ And that is a fleeting thing. Not an infinite resource, you know?”

While Reynolds understands firsthand how overwhelming parenting can feel, he also doesn't wish away this time with four young kids: “Just say, ‘Think about what you would give in 40 years or 30 years to come back and enjoy this one moment.’"

How has motherhood affected Blake Lively?

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Blake Lively opened up about how Ryan Reynolds and she monitor screen safety for their kids, which is definitely something top-of-mind in 2024. “This is not an ad. I get nothing out of this. I just love @tappityapp,” she said of the STEM-focused educational app. “It’s engaging, informative, fun and they care about safety."

She also jokes that she's learning new things right along with her kids! But, no matter how educational or fun an app is, Blake Lively also emphasizes the importance of engaging with her kids' devices: "I’m always triple checking any kids app constantly for safety because that’s my responsibility not an app’s, but I do LOVE this one.”

Despite its fun and funny moments, the actress has admitted being a mom is hard, but she did it with her signature dry sense of humor. “BettyBooze at your service," she wrote in an Instagram Story announcing the new brand. "These are recipes I’ve been making for loved ones for years. But I have 4 kids now. And I’m tired. So here they are. In a can."

Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for American Cinematheque

However, Blake Lively absolutely loves motherhood, and says in a 2022 interview with Forbes that having children has made her feel more comfortable in her own skin. "Once I had children, that just became even more profound because my time was even more precious, but also I think having children for me made me feel so much more in my skin," she says. "I never felt more myself or at ease in my own body or more confident — not to say that there aren't a bevy of insecurities coming at me a million times a day, but I just feel incredibly settled."

Speaking with People in 2021, Lively also explains how important it is that her children see her accomplish things outside the home. "I want to be as present of a mother as humanly possible and I want them to feel my presence, but I also think the best way to be the best mother is to show them that you can have a life and have a passion and have an identity outside of just being a mother," Lively says.

While she acknowledges that motherhood is all-encompassing, and it looks different for everyone, she knows that having your own identity is very important. "Teaching them that they can maintain themselves and that everything is possible [is crucial]," she adds.

When did Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have their daughters?

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Blake Lively's children were all born in the last 10 years. Blake Lively's daughters are James, Inez, Betty, and her fourth child is named Olin! Their fourth baby's name was announced during the premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine. Blake gave birth to James in 2014, while Inez was born in 2016. Lively gave birth to Betty in 2019 and Olin in February of 2023.

Do Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's kids have nannies?

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Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' children don't have a nanny. "I feel like I could sometimes have a bit of a short fuse, but there's just been this weirdly endless supply of patience," Ryan told GQ in 2015. "I have no problem waking up five times in the middle of the night and changing diapers, and as exhausted as you get, I have this stupid grin on my face all the time."

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This story has been updated.

Things are heating up betweenSelena Gomez and Benny Blanco since late last year to the surprise of some, but it seems like the couple's romance is just getting started. They're not shy about PDA and posting each other on social media and pretty much telling anyone who doesn't like it to get lost. We love how fiercely supportive they are of each other, giving us so many good green flags! Here's everything we know about the lovely new couple so far.

Keep reading For The Latest News On Selena Gomez And Benny Blanco's Relationship

Selena Gomez And Benny Blanco's Relationship Timeline:

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March 2019

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco first collaborated on the song "I Can't Get Enough" along with Tainy and J. Balvin in 2019. Though they were featured in a cute scene together, there weren't any rumors about them being romantically linked then.

August 2023

They didn't work together again until late summer 2023 when he produced Selena's single "Single Soon" with Cashmere Cat.

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December 2023

Before 2023 ended, Selena started leaving comments on Instagram that suggested she and Benny Blanco were in fact together. One of the comments she left appear on this Instagram fan page and it reads, "He is my absolute everything in my heart."

Some fans weren't so thrilled to see the two together though and they weren't afraid to express their opinions. But, this only prompted Selena to leave more comments that defended her relationship with Benny.

People grabbed a screenshot of one of the comments Selena responded that revealed the couple had been together for a while. "Not mad. It’s been 6 months bb. I will always defend my friends, family and fans till the day I die," she wrote. They even shared another screenshot from Selena's Instagram Story that showed her wearing a "B" ring on one of her fingers.

Craig Barritt/Getty Images for TIME

December 15, 2023

Soon after that, Selena shared a photo carousel on Instagram that included some of her favorite moments in New York and Benny Blanco can be seen in BTS moments. The last picture of the carousel features them sharing a kiss in a black and white photo that basically confirms the responses the singer had for fans.

December 28, 2023

Before the new year began, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco spent some time at a cute art exhibit during a date. From the looks of things, it seemed like they discovered their love language of physical touch early on.

Presley Ann/Getty Images for GQ

January 2, 2024

Feeling the love of being with Selena, Benny Blanco took to Instagram Stories to officially signal that the two are dating. People grabbed a few more screenshots that Benny shared and all we can see is the happy glint that was in Selena's eyes.

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January 3, 2024

The next day the couple were seen court side at one of the Los Angeles Lakers' game. Once again, their love language was on full display in the most intimate way. A source revealed to People that they understood why people had so many opinions about Selena's relationship with Benny. "Everyone was a fan of hers before Only Murders [in the Building], and now everyone is protective of her."

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January 15, 2024

Later that month, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco showed up to the Emmy Awards together. They were sitting side-by-side and weren't afraid to show affection with each other.

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for AFI

March 2024

When Benny Blanco's birthday rolled around, Selena Gomez shared a sweet message to him on Instagram. She wrote, "Happy birthday baby! Your emotional endurance, positive disposition, unbelievable talent (that blows me away), undeniable humor and loving, kind heart absolutely kill me. I love you @itsbennyblanco 🎂🥹."

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

April 2024

Although we're only four months into the new year, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship is still going strong! The Only Murders in the Building star has been seen smiling in every pic she posts which indicates she's genuinely happy in her relationship. A source hinted to People that the two are doing well. "It’s a very serious relationship, and they’re making long distance work while she’s in New York for work commitments," they said.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Spotify

April 25, 2024

In an interview with WSJ, Benny Blanco gave his POV of how his relationship with Selena Gomez began and it was the cutest revelation. "It’s crazy how your partner could just be sitting there the whole time, right in front of your eyes...And then you have a Clueless moment where you're like, Wait, I'm in love," he says.

A man who compares his relationship to that moment in Clueless where Cher and Josh admit their feelings for each other gets brownie points from us!

May 15, 2024

It looks like Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship may be ready for the next step — that's if you ask Mr. Blanco. He appeared on The Howard Stern Show yesterday to chat about everything, including his relationship with Selena. When Howard Stern asked, "You want to have kids with Selena? Have you told her you want to have kids yet," Benny replied, "That’s my next goal, to check the box. I have a ton of godkids. I've got a ton of nephews. I love being around kids."

However, he's not in a rush and wants everything to happen naturally. All that matters is that the two of them are in each other's life. He said, "I just know that when I look at her, I just say, ‘I don’t know a world where it could be better than this.’ That’s what I always say to her.”

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May 29, 2024

Selena Gomez tells TIME just how much Benny Blanco means to her — no matter what anyone else says. "My own fans, who I adore and feel like have shaped who I am, will say the most hurtful things to me about how I live my life," she says. "But he has the strength in him that none of that noise fazes him. It’s really impressive, and I just cherish every moment with him. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that he’s not going anywhere any time soon.”

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October 27, 2024

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco looked amazing in their Alice in Wonderland couple's Halloween costume. "Curiouser and curiouser," Selena wrote on the post, which is totally reminding us of Taylor Swift's 1989 (hello "Wonderland"!!!).

Selena wore a corset dress in what looks like slate blue with cap puffed sleeves and a tulle skirt, along with a blonde wig, black bow, and slingback shoes. Benny went all out as the Mad Hatter with face paint, a wig, a top hat, and a waistcoat. We'd follow them down the rabbit hole!

November 11, 2024

Benny Blanco's been featured in People's'Sexiest Man Alive' issue and we're kind of feeling it! What started off as an unlikely choice for Selena has turned into a deep understanding of why she loves him so much. The man is an excellent host, cook, and gentleman which makes him an off-the-charts lover. And when it comes to date night, he believes in making sure every time is special. "I [still] go all out for every date. It doesn't mean spending your entire bank account. It means being attentive and listening," he said.

His most memorable dates with Selena involve the times she "rented out a whole botanical garden" and he "got her Taco Bell" before proceeding to make her "movie-theater nachos" and deep-frying her "favorite pickles from Texas" for Valentine's Day.

He also gushed about his favorite time of the day. "I'm a real morning person. It's my favorite time to spend with Sel, because we both wake up really early. It's like our moment before the rest of the world wakes up." Not only that, but the music producer is thrilled he has "a true best friend" he gets to spend his life with.

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This post has been updated.

Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant! This might be a memorable line from an equally memorable Gilmore Girls episode, but it's now also a reality for one of the show's stars because Milo Ventimiglia is expecting his first child! The actor married model and entrepreneur Jarah Mariano in the fall of 2023 at a tiny, private ceremony (a move that was very Jess Mariano of him), and on September 29, Jarah announced she's pregnant!

Milo Ventimiglia and Jarah Mariano just showed up at Brian Bowen Smith's ‘Joyride’ exhibit at Studio CT in California, and one source tells People Milo was “sweet and attentive to his wife throughout the whole event.” Duh!!

He “seemed very proud to be with her" while Jarah looked "radiant and glowing," as she always does. “Milo was kissing her and whispering into her ear," the source continues. "They were just genuinely lovely together.”

Is Jarah Mariano pregnant?

Jarah Mariano/Instagram

Yes, Jarah Mariano announced her pregnancy with an Instagram post featuring a surf session with Milo Ventimiglia. In the photos, Jarah is sitting on a surfboard wearing a brown bikini top, polka dot bikini bottoms, and a pink lei. "Baby on board!" she says in the caption.

After his time on Gilmore Girls, Milo played patriarch Jack Pearson on NBC's This Is Us, and told US Weekly in 2017 that "I think I’m built to want a strong family unit. “It will happen when it happens. I’m not out seeking it. It’s just kind of, I’m present in the space in my life that when it presents itself and it’s right, I’m sure it will work out.”

And it looks like it worked out at the exact right time.

Does Milo Ventimiglia have a wife?

Yes, Milo Ventimiglia & wife Jarah Mariano got married in the fall of 2023, and Jarah recently posted some new photos from the special day. "Last year I married my best friend," she says. "There aren’t enough words that exist to describe all the special qualities that make him who he is. AlI can say is that I am grateful for the life that we have together and the happiness that we have created🤍 Aloha wau iā 'oe my husband Milo."

"Things are good," Milo told Extra in February 2024. "We've had relationships that have come and have gone and then you get to a point where you kind of meet your match and meet someone that inspires you in a way different than anybody else...I'm grateful for her and I’m happy to have arrived in this moment, so married life is nice."

If you're loving the celeb baby news as much as we are, check out the latest news on Hilary Duff's Baby #4!

Major Outer Banks season 4 spoilers ahead!

ICYMI, Outer Banks season 4 dropped its second half on November 7, and fans have a lot of very strong feelings about it. Despite the fact JJ's entire character arc is about defiance, hope, and being the ultimate Pogue, Outer Banks season 4 ended with his biological dad, a kook named Chandler Groff, killing him in cold blood.

It's an absolutely devastating ending for everyone's favorite character, and fans are having a hard time coping with the loss. The fact we only got 10 episodes of JJ and Kiara together (a relationship written into the show after viewers picked up on the chemistry between Rudy Pankow and Madison Bailey) makes it even worse — and a lot of fans are saying they won't watch the show again.

"I can’t even watch the previous seasons anymore knowing how it all ends," viewer Jordyn Bruder says in an email. "JJ was the literal heart of OBX and he was the glue that held the Pogues together. There is no OBX without JJ."

Outer Banks Fan Reactions To JJ's Death

​In which episode does JJ die?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

JJ dies at the end of Outer Banks season 4 episode 10, "The Blue Crown" after rescuing Kiara from his father Chandler Groff. "I feel mad, betrayed, disappointed and heartbroken to say the least," Bruder adds. "JJ went through a lot of crap through the show and he was the one character who deserved his happy ending the most. When the series first came out, people fell in love with JJ and [Kiara]."

While the cast obviously found out about the ending while filming, fans are frustrated with how they chose to promote the show. "Obviously the cast can’t spoil a character death, but to blatantly lie and mislead fans by saying that Jiara was 'evergrowing' and fans would be happy with how the season plays out?" Bruder says. "Jiara fans deserved so much better than what we got, ESPECIALLY when they knew they were killing JJ off."

Why are Outer Banks fans so upset?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

The show is the kind of phenomenon that made instant stars out of its cast, but it also made waves because of how the first season portrayed issues like classism, substance abuse, and domestic abuse. "As someone who has been around domestic abuse, I think the handling of the character JJ was detrimental culturally," another fan (who would like to remain anonymous) says. "The character suffered abuse at the hands of a man who was not even his biological father, and the writers almost framed it as if that was okay because in the beginning, his father loved him. Instead of telling a story to victims of abuse about hope and making it through trials, the writers went the opposite way. I also find it interesting that they stated this was a planned death. I think writing a character who is suffering from anxiety and clear mental health issues as well as abuse who is very young like JJ only to let him fall in love and kill him right when he starts to feel happiness doesn’t necessarily make a lot of sense narratively."

Another viewer adds that ending JJ's story that way felt "disrespectful...especially when in an interview following the episode, one of the creators literally referred to his death as pointless." She even says "it feels almost like the show died along with him."

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Actress Madelyn Cline (Sarah Cameron) called JJ the "heart of Outer Banks"and for a lot of fans, JJ also became a beacon of hope, a reminder that you can endure, persevere, and come out stronger on the other side. Since the first season of the show dropped during April 2020, it's been one consistent, fun thing for TV fans since the COVID-19 pandemic began, which makes the loss feel even greater.

"Seeing him die at the hands of another abusive father was honestly kind of sickening," the viewer adds. "It’s also unfortunate that his death didn’t seem to mean anything. A character death like this would be one thing if it meant something. If he had died protecting his friends or actively protecting Kiara, rather than having already saved her and then getting killed afterward, it might’ve be easier to get past."

"It’s like a connection to something good and steady was just broken," X user @onlykiep4l says. "Killing a character that has literally gone trough so much trauma and was finally happy just doesn’t make sense. It’s not just the character that’s gone — it feels like a part of the show has ended too."

Why does JJ get killed off?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Rumors have been circulating for years about behind-the-scenes drama between actors Rudy Pankow and Madison Bailey, which has fans believing Rudy asked to be written off the show(for the record, Outer Banks creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke have said it was the plan from the beginning). With Rudy's exit, the writers had a difficult choice in front of them. JJ isn't the kind of guy to abandon his friends, meaning the writers obviously felt like killing him was the only option. But according to an additional viewer, "Outer Banks hasn't been that type of show."

"To attempt to turn this fun, summer, boat show into some dark, depressing story where the heart of the show is gone destroys everything that the show started out as," she says.

Another anonymous fan calls the choice "a character assassination," adding other moments from the season that feel like a different character than the one fans have come to love: barely reacting to John B. and Sarah's pregnancy announcement, or to the fact Rafe had come to talk to Kiara — especially after his reaction to Rafe catcalling Kie in the first season is a moment that led fans to ship them in the first place.

The fan continues by calling JJ's treatment a "lack of respect" toward the character. "The fact that the writers tried to make us dislike him, to soften the blow of him dying. It didn’t work. It has everyone distraught because many people’s favorite character ended up dying after 'finding happiness' for about 10 minutes in Episode 10."

​Does Sarah get pregnant in Outer Banks season 4?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

But JJ's death isn't the only moment that has fans reeling. In addition to the fact viewers are saying the Pogues barely reacted to the death of their lifelong best friend, Pope is now a murderer and Kiara makes an absolutely chilling vow to get revenge on Groff — a far cry from the characters we fell in love with in season 1.

"Outside of the JJ of it all, a lot of plot lines/dynamics in part 2 felt off," one of our anonymous fans continues. "Sarah’s pregnancy plot line, especially when coupled with the quote from a creator about ‘giving her a baby specifically because she wasn’t ready’ feels incredibly tone deaf given the current state of things here in the US. The fact that there wasn’t even a conversation of if she wanted to continue with the pregnancy felt very icky. Overall, episodes 1-4 of this season did feel like Outer Banks, but everything after that felt like it was from an entirely different piece of media."

Jackson Lee Davis/NetflixYep, 'Outer Banks' Season 4 Just Killed Off THAT Character

However, some fans are excited to see where the show goes from here. "JJ was such a strong character and his presence will obviously be missed, [but] I am excited to see how the Pogues react and what they do to get revenge on Groff," Virginia McGrew says in an email. "I also think that the scene of JJ dying with Kiara was extremely well done and emotional, making his passing even sadder. I ultimately believe that JJ’s passing serves as a reminder of the themes the show."

"JJ made the group even more aware of friendship, the importance of chosen family, and loyalty, which was seen throughout the season and especially in the finale," she continues. "Now that he is gone, the other Pogues will have to step up even more, creating a shift in their dynamic. While many believe that Outer Banks might not be worth watching after this finale, I truly think that it is only going to get even deeper and more interesting."

Let us know your thoughts on the Outer Banks season 4 ending on TikTok. And check out why This Heartbreaking Outer Banks 5 Theory Makes THAT Death Even More Emotional.

Outer Banks season 4 part 2 finally dropped November 7, and after theories were swirling around our favorite Pogues — is Sarah pregnant? Will JJ die? Will the group FINALLY get their hands on some treasure (and NOT lose it?) — we got the answers we'd been waiting for. And unfortunately, not all of them were answers we wanted. Sarah is indeed pregnant but the Pogues finally avenged Terrance, but in the final moments of the Outer Banks season 4 ending, we also lost JJ which is something I literally can't believe I'm writing. JJ and Kiara are the one couple fans latched onto (and that the cast and crew never saw coming) and to finally see them in a relationship only to lose JJ 10 episodes later? I'm heartbroken.

Creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke recently revealed Outer Banks season 5 will be "an epic fifth and final season," and there's one theory going around that makes that finale even more emotional. Here's everything you need to know aboutOuter Banksseason 5. Bring it on home John B.!

Keep Reading For The Latest News On Outer Banks Season 5

  • Outer Banks season 5 will be the last season of the hit Netflix show.
  • The series will follow Kiara and the Pogues getting revenge on Chander Groff for JJ's death.
  • Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke say "it will be our best [season] yet."

Is JJ really dead?

@unsiredd#obx#outerbanks#jjmaybank#johnbroutledge#johnb#sarahcameron#obx4#fyp#foryou#fireworks♬ Where'd All the Time Go? - Dr. Dog

There are a few theories about how Outer Banks season 5 will handle JJ's death (aside from Kiara's chilling vow to get revenge, of course). Some fans have their fingers crossed the group will use the Blue Crown to wish him back to life, while others are holding onto hope he was simply unconscious. But there's one theory that stands out among the rest to me: JJ is really dead, and this whole time, John B.'s narration has been telling his unborn child about his namesake.

The show teased Sarah and John B. will name their baby JJ, and since Outer Banks is all about family, friendship, and spending time with one another, the reveal that all along, Outer Banks has been the story of the Pogues' adventures would literally be the perfect way to send them off. I'm literally crying just thinking about it.

Will there be a 5th Outer Banks?

Yes, we're getting a fifth and final season of Outer Banks coming to Netflix soon. While we don't have an official release date yet, we're expecting to see the last installment in 2025 or 2026.

In their official letter "to all Pogues," creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke explain how a photo of teenagers on a beach during a power outage inspired them to create the hit show we've all come to know and love. "From this beginning, we imagined a mystery that would lead to a five-season journey of adventure, treasure hunting, and friendship," they say in an official letter. "At the time, seven years ago, it seemed impossible that we would really get to tell the whole five season story, but here we are, at the end of our fourth season, still chopping away."

"Now, with a little sadness, but also excitement, we're putting Season Four behind us and turning to Season Five, in which we hope to bring our beloved Pogues home in the way we imagined and planned years ago," they continue. "Season Five will be our last season, and we think it will be our best yet. We hope you'll join us for one more paddle out to the surf break."

I can't wait to see Outer Banks season 5, and TBH five seasons will round out the show perfectly considering each season focuses on a different Pogue. That means season 5 will probably focus on Sarah alongside Kiara's revenge. 👀 Stay tuned for all the OBX5 info you need to know.

Here's Yep, Outer Banks Season 4 Just Killed Off THAT Character in case you're still processing.