Rock These 18 Pairs of Shorts If You’re Sick of Denim Cutoffs

Jun 25, 2016

Denim shorts rule supreme when summer rolls around. Every girl has at least one pair of trusty cutoffs in her wardrobe that she reaches for on repeat when the temps start to soar. That said, even this summer style essential has its shortcomings, leaving you feeling, well, underwhelmed when you want to take your look to the next level.

1. ASOS Pretty Embroidered Shorts ($52): Forget the standard date-night frock — redefine after-hours attire with pretty pink shorts that will put even your most-loved chambray bottoms to shame. Style with a silk cami, boyfriend blazer and a dainty lariat for a sophisticated look that will knock ‘em dead.

2. & Other Stories Oily Shorts ($195): Found it: This is one pair of statement shorts even a minimalist can get behind. The luxe leather is prime time for after-hours affairs, but it packs plenty of daytime potential too. For an office-appropriate ensemble that goes well beyond pinstripe suits and snoozy shift dresses, team ’em with an oversized blouse, sleeveless jacket and menswear-inspired loafers that mean business. Can your denim shorts do that? Didn’t think so.

3. Mango Suede Shorts ($80): You don’t have to be heading to the festival to rock a bit of free-wheelin’ suede. Let the good vibes roll with lace-up shorts that would look ah-mazing with a frilly sleeveless top and bright clogs. Throw in a pair of round sunnies for extra ’70s style cred.

4. Zara Shorts With Belt ($30): Summer without stripes? That’s downright scandalous. Even if preppy isn’t your thang, you can still rock the iconic pattern with these black-and-white shorts that have contemporary appeal. Play up your minimalist aesthetic with a satin pajama top and understated slides for an easy-breezy afternoon at the park, or beers and tapas on the boardwalk.

5. Topshop Floral Print Shorts ($60): Stand out in a sea of cutoffs at your next barbecue or waterfront event with exotic floral shorts that are straight-up dreamy. Make ‘em pop with a white, ‘90s-inspired halter top and a gold Man Repeller-approved arm party.

6. Selected Fria Polka Dot Tailored Shorts ($106): Hit remix on a blasé work-week routine with suiting separates that will make crunching numbers and tedious to-do lists feel like a rare treat. Playful polka dots are guaranteed to put a bit of pep back into your step, especially when paired with metallic Oxfords and dazzling drop earrings that are desk-to-drinks ready.

7. SOONSU 16SS Grey Ruffle Light Shorts ($198): Don’t let ruffles’ fussy and frilly rep keep you from taking these anything-but-average bottoms for a test drive. Architectural pleating sets these stunners apart, lending a fashion-forward edge to any off-duty or after-hours look. For an errand-running ensemble that straight-up stuns (because you never let your style guard down), pair them with a classic white tee, badass gladiator sandals and a sleek choker necklace.

8. Zara Printed Shorts ($26): Whether you’re chillin’ with your toes in the sand or swaying to the beat at an outdoor concert series, these golden floral shorts deliver all the feels you need — and then some. Go ultra boho with a peasant top and lace-up pom-pom sandals, and don’t even think about leaving the house without a messy fishtail braid.

9. H&M Embroidered Bib Overall Shorts ($25): Like your go-to denim overalls, only better. Floral embroidery and a bib silhouette make these shortalls super sweet. Avoid an overly saccharine feel by styling them alongside a mock-neck top and flatform sandals with a don’t-mess edge.

10. & Other Stories Round Edge Shorts ($65): Sophisticated shorts that will take you from a.m. to p.m., no problem? Sign us up! With their zip-up front and high-waisted cut, these pretty pink shorts are a shoo-in for GNO or dinner with bae. Send the fashion-femme vibes into overdrive with suede lace-up sandals, a structured boxy top and statement earrings that scream DDG. Pull hair back into a sleek ponytail and opt for a dramatic cat eye for an undeniable runway-ready look.

11. Loft Petalwork Riviera Shorts With 4″ Inseam ($50): Any time is a good time for a bit of pattern play. Team these psychedelic shorts with a striped off-the-shoulder top and metallic sandals for a Saturday morning spa date, or dress ‘em up with a choker-neck top and peep-toe heels for mixing and mingling out on the veranda.

12. Forever21 Floral Crochet Shorts ($16): Upcoming glamping weekend with the girlies? Take these flirty crochet shorts along to add a feminine touch to flannel shirts and band tees alike. Or if you have a wedding-related event on the agenda, amp up the fancy factor with a floral bell sleeve blouse and statement necklace.

13. Johnny Hates Jazz Training Shorts ($189): Athleisure enthusiasts and lazy girls everywhere, eat your hearts out. Fake it ’til you make it with these striped track shorts that would feel right at home with a rib knit tee and sporty slides. (No one needs to know you skipped the gym this morning.)

14. Madewell Scallop-Hem Pull-On Shorts ($60): Any way you swing it, these scalloped shorts are what your closet has been missing. An easy sub for a twirl-worthy skirt or jeans, they’re the perfect partner to everything from oversized button-downs to bow-neck tops.

15. & Other Stories Lacing Detail Shorts ($95): Calling all cool girls in training: These sassy lace-up shorts have girl boss attitude built right in. Whip ‘em out with a band tee, loafers and funky hoop earrings for a late-night gig, or go the extra style mile with a cold-shoulder top, espadrille wedges and a boater hat for lesiurely strolls along the boardwalk.

16. Mojave Ruffle Shorts ($38): And we swoon. It’s safe to say that this scene-stealing pair is what dreams are made of, whether you wear them with something as simple as a high-neck cotton tank and Birks for a casual coffee date or pull out all the stops with an embellished blouse, sky-high stilettos and a box clutch for an urban rooftop affair.

17. Finders Keepers Either Way Short ($140): Shorts with this much panache are meant to be shown off, so best believe you’ll be busting them out at every opportunity. Tuck in a black mock-neck top, then pop on a pair of suede mules and asymmetric earrings for a getup that will take you from dinner at that posh new place straight to the dance floor.

18. Loft Ikat Riviera Shorts With 4″ Inseam ($60): Slipping on these ikat shorts is like taking an instant vacay to the sunny seaside towns of Cinque Terre. Whether you’re sipping Limoncello by the water or strolling down cobblestone streets with gelato in hand, make sure you have these lovelies on standby.

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7 Airy Linen Dresses For Those Sweaty Summer Days

I don't know if it's bad luck, but I definitely wear my linen dresses — even the white ones — way past Labor Day. As long as the sun is shining and the air is warm, you will usually catch me in one of these comfortable, breathable, and obviously adorable little pieces. Another great thing about linen is that it generally will never go out of style, so don't be afraid to invest in some pieces that will be a part of your wardrobe forever. There are so many great options to choose from, but here are seven linen dresses that make the perfect summer (or any warm weather) outfit.

Abercrombie & Fitch

The A&F Emerson Linen-Blend Puff Sleeve Mini Dress

You guys, I'm not even kidding when I say this is the best dress I own. As a broad shoulder girly, the neckline is SO flattering. Plus, the material is thick and durable, but still breathable for a hot summer day. I own this in black which allows me to dress it up for dinner or wear it to work, but this vibrant pink — and the several other colors and patterns — is so cute for the summer time. At $60 (was $80), this is a steal!

J.Crew

J.Crew Squareneck Midi Dress In Linen

I need to be wearing this dress with a spritz in my hand ASAP. This dress is a J.Crew best seller for a reason — it makes the perfect warm weather staple. This design is so simple, yet with the help of some fun accessories, this dress can be a hundred different outfits. You can shop this dress in white, red, or black for $178.

Zara

Zara Linen Blend Midi Dress

You can never go wrong with a little slit in the summer. This linen blend dress is simple, yet elegant — perfect for any vacay dinner or date night. Throw on some cute sandals and chunky earrings and hit the town in this little green number. Plus, the tie-up back gives you easy adjustment depending on your chest size. Make this your next summer dress for $36 (was $49).

Madewell

Madewell Square-Neck Mini Dress in 100% Linen

Great, I'll take 10 of them! No seriously — this dress is fabulous, the square neckline is just perfection, and stretchy chest area make this dress fit anyone like a glove. You can get this dress in white for a classic summer look, or it's also available in a light blue. If you're a tall girl, this style shows off your beautiful long legs. You can also get it in a wide range of sizes for $93 (was $110).

Abercrombie & Fitch

The A&F Emerson Strapless Linen-Blend Maxi Dress

Oh my god, the color of this dress is everything! I also appreciate a strapless dress in the summertime to show off my tan lines — there's something so luxurious and indulgent about it. This piece is so simple, which means room for you to customize with accessories. Although it's true to size, always be careful about sizing with strapless! A perfect linen staple for $72 (was $120).

Abercrombie & Fitch

A&F Linen-Blend Shell Mini Dress

There's something about a dress with an open back that always gets me. It makes for a fun little surprise you wouldn't expect from looking at the front of the dress — and it's a great excuse for an updo. This piece would be perfect for any more professional setting like work, happy hour with your fave coworkers, or lunch with the in-laws. You could be its next prideful owner for $42 (was $70).

H&M

H&M Linen Slip Dress

I cannot think of anything more summer appropriate than a linen slip dress. It's lightweight, super comfortable, and you can dress it up for a fancy dinner, or literally use it as a bathing suit cover up. Everyone needs a slip dress as part of their summer capsule closet. Add this one from H&M to yours in white or black for $55!

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11 Obvious Signs You’re Actually An Empath, According To A Therapist

You and your friends have likely spent countless hours together, decoding everything from imaginationships to the best comfort shows to watch when you're sad. You've probably even settled into a designated role within the group. Maybe you're the super adventurous one, always suggesting friend date ideas for the group to try, while someone else always knows how to comfort everyone when life gets rough. But, have you ever wondered if you're the most empathetic friend in the group? That's easy, just ask Brianna Paruolo, LCMCH. She's the founder and clinical director of On Par Therapyso she knows how to recognize signs you're an empath, plus how to take care of yourself!

TL;DR

Empathy is when "you feel what others are feeling."
There are physical, emotional, social, and mental signs that you're an empath.
You may be an empath if you get physically exhausted after being in crowds, feel anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments, feel responsible for other people's happiness, or you find it hard to distinguish your own feelings from someone else's.

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Gary Barnes

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

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There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

Yaroslav Shuraev

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

Feeling responsible for others' happiness
Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
Being highly attuned to body language and tone
Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

Mikhail Nilov

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

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But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

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You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Vitaly Gariev

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

We have even more self-care stories for you to dive into if you need a mental and emotional boost!

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8 Summer Essentials Everyone Should Have In Their Wardrobe

Summer is officially here! That means swapping out the raincoats for cover ups, and sneakers for sandals. Whether you're at the beach or on a rooftop bar, you will always look cute with the right summer essentials. Though the warm weather welcomes all kinds of clothing, I can confidently say that there are a few staples that everyone should include in their wardrobe. These 8 summer basics are total must-haves to building the cutest outfits this season.

Free People

Free People Dream Weaver Maxi

Every summer calls for at least one (preferably more) reliable flowy maxi dress. You can be going to a wedding or a picnic in the park with your girlfriends, and a long colorful dress will suit any occasion! Make a statement this summer with a maxi dress that makes you want to frolic in a field. A few good places to look for the perfect flowy dress are Free People, Anthropologie, and Nordstrom. Don't be afraid to make an investment in a maxi dress, because they will never go out of style.

You can find this Free People dress in sizes XS-XL for $168.

Anthropologie

Anthropologie Round Drop Earrings

Gold accessories complement a tan complexion like no other. Be bold this summer with some chunky statement earrings to level up any outfit! Even a plain tank top and some jeans will look extra-chic with a statement jewelry piece like these gold earrings. You can find endless styles out there, but I love the durability Anthropologie's jewelry offers.

Add a pair to your summer essentials for $44.

J.Crew

J.Crew Étienne Oversized Shirt

I cannot stress the importance a button-up top has to offer. Bonus points if it's comfy and oversized! You can style a button-up top for literally anything. Wear it to dinner, to the office, or even as a beach cover-up! The thin material these shirts are meant to bear and beat the summer heat. Plus, they encompass the chic Euro girl style everyone wants. You can quite literally find them everywhere, but I would highly recommend the Étienne Oversized Shirt from J.Crew.

Find this pick in in endless colors and sizes at J.Crew for $98.

Levi's

Levi's Essential Racer Tank Top

Three words: white tank top. Arguably the most important basic in your wardrobe, everyone needs the perfect white tank. I personally love a ribbed tank with thicker straps, so I can wear a bra underneath my top. There are so many options on the market right now, so finding the perfect fit for you is crucial. It’s important to remember: a good quality top will last you a lifetime.

This Levi's tank is available in sizes XXS-XXL for $20.

J.Crew

J.Crew End-on-End Cotton Boxer Short

I don’t know if it’s just me, but my Instagram feed is filled with blue and white pinstripe shorts. So, something tells me it’s a comfy short summer. Bye, jean shorts! You can opt for a casual boxer shorts vibe or lean into the athletic vibe with some cute Adidas shorts. I'm in love with these J.Crew bottoms for running errands.

Get yourself a pair for only $33 (was $40).

Zara

Zara Balloon Hem Dress

Little black dress? Never heard of her. It’s time to embrace a playful white dress this summer season. Whether you’re going out to drinks or to the beach, a flowy white dress is effortlessly cute. This will be a rotating staple in your closet that can be dressed up with heels, or casually with sandals. You can find the perfect LWD like this one at Zara. Some more cute options can be found at J.Crew, Reformation, Aerie, American Eagle, and Lulus.

Shop this style from Zara for $40.

Nordstrom

Nordstrom Carolina Slide Sandal

It is the summer of sandals, people! We are embracing the chicness and practicality of a slip-on shoe this season. Give your feet as much love as the rest of your body when it comes to sun exposure. These are the perfect pairing for a skirt, but can also dress up a pair of jeans. There are endless ways to style a pair of sandals. You may opt for a chunkier sole for more support, or keep it dainty.

These sandals could be yours for $70.

Abercrombie & Fitch

Abercrombie & Fitch Twist Set Top + Mid Rise Sarong Maxi Skirt Set

The easiest way to look effortlessly put together this summer is with a matching set. Not only do they look amazing, but they make figuring out what to wear a breeze. I love a good set for any event this summer, like a concert or birthday party. Plus, it's 2024 – matching sets are not limited to workout clothes anymore. We are hitting the town with our matching patterned top and bottoms. Personally, I'm a big fan of the long skirt-small top combo, like this one from Abercrombie & Fitch.

Add the top and bottom to your wardrobe for $110.

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Men Are Hard To Shop For — 46 Gift Ideas He'll Love This Year

Finding gifts for the person you're closest to can be the absolute hardest thing to do, especially when there are so many things that would make great gifts for him. If you're shopping for the main man in your life this season – whether you call him your dad, husband, fiancé, boyfriend, partner, or your preferred pet names – of course you want to find a gift that shows him just how much he means to you. Just remember that the key to the perfect gift is simply that it comes from you. These stunning gift ideas will help you say "this made me think of you."

Our 46 favorite gifts for men for 2024:

Amazon

RVCA Commonwealth Snapback

This flat-brimmed baseball cap replaces those older, worn-out styles you know your man has been hoarding. The green corduroy fabric on this gift-worthy hat will grace his head perfectly for every season!

Amazon

Every Man Jack Mens Amber + Sandalwood Body Set

This gift set is filled with an ideal assortment of gifts for him. From body wash, shampoo, deodorant, and face wash, your man will have everything he needs to feel fresh – plus, having a good-smelling guy around is the real gift for you that keeps on giving.

Target

VANKYO Leisure D30T Mini Wi-Fi Projector

Bring the cinema home to your movie buff with a sleek projector setup for your own private screenings and viewing parties!

Sunswell

Sunswell The R&R Pant

Made from recycled materials for rigorous wear, the Sunswell R&R pants are bound to be a staple in your man's year-round wardrobe.

Amazon

Cosori Pour Over Coffee Maker

This sturdy coffee maker will be a total hit for the caffeine-loving guy in your life. The layered stainless steel filter allows for a rich, creamy flavor in every sip, plus the decanter is holds a whole 34 ounces of brewed coffee to help him wake up!

Amazon

Stanley Stainless Steel Shot Glass and Flask Gift Set

This durable drinking set complete with a flask and shot glasses will be his new BFF for sharing on camping, fishing, or hunting trips. Top it all off with a brand-new bottle of whiskey to complete the gift for him.

Amazon

Thermajohn Thermal Shirt

Whether he's hitting the slopes or is braving the cold winter weather to run errands with you, this warm thermal base layer tee will swarm his upper half in comfort, flexibly moving with his each and every move.

Herschel

Herschel Little America Backpack Pro

For his outdoor adventures or social gatherings, outfit him with a cool backpack (literally, this one is insulated) that he can fill with his favorite snacks and beverages.

Ties

Ties The Scientist Sock Pack

Whether it's a stocking stuffer or a smaller gift, a playful set of socks is both practical and personal.

Tie Bar

Tie Bar Navy Travel Tie Storage Case

This tie storage case means business, just like your man does. If he travels for work often, he'll appreciate that you're looking out for his formal-wear.

Amazon

Marlowe. Coffee Bar Soap

This manly bar soap is infused with coffee beans and cocoa butter butter that help tackle even the worst bouts of sweat and body odor. It's definitely long-lasting, too, so he can smell lovely all night long.

Taylor Stitch

Taylor Stitch The Workhorse Jacket

This jacket will hug his bod in the most stylish way, all while keeping him comfy throughout the season's cold weather.

Williams Sonoma

Breville Precision Brewer 12-Cup Drip Coffee Maker with Glass Carafe

For the early risers and coffee-obsessed, a programmable coffee maker means he can wake up to the smell of coffee every day (and no longer has to use wasteful pods for an instant brew).

Mark & Graham

Mark & Graham Italian Leather Desk Set

Whether he's going to work, outfitting a permanent at-home office, or heading back to school, a personalized desk set like this luxe leather one will please the most studious types of guys.

Nordstrom

Ugg Beckett Fleece Robe

If your man loves a cozy night in just as much as you do, a soft robe to lounge around in will make the ultimate gift for him.

Mejuri

Mejuri Flat Curb Chain Necklace

Once you've reached long-term status with your guy, gift him a signature gold chain he can flex for years to come.

Pangaia

Pangaia 365 Heavyweight Hoodie

For the hoodie-obsessed, Pangaia's signature sustainable sweatshirts (and sweatsuits!) are best-in-class.

Etsy

Custom Soundwave Art Print

From a first dance song to the one you always blast together in the car, every guy has their favorite tune. Memorialize it for your music-loving man with this custom art print.

DUER

DUER Performance Relaxed Taper Denim Jeans

A good quality, fresh pair of denim is gonna set him (and his style) so right for the new year. These jeans feature a stretchy fabric that'll allow wear for practically any occasion.

Mark & Graham

Mark & Graham Leather Poker Set

Outfit his next game night with a poker set that's sure to impress and easy to bring on the go for weekend trips and group hangs.

New Balance

New Balance 9060 Sneaker

Secure your status as the greatest of all time by copping him that stylish pair of sneakers he's been eyeing.

Amazon

Polaroid Now 2nd Generation I-Type Instant Camera + Film Bundle

If your man is into photography and all things nostalgia, consider surprising him with a retro Polaroid camera set. We bet you'll be his favorite muse.

Manly Bands

Manly Bands The Forged Ring

This sleek wedding band stands up to tough, hands-on jobs with a carbon fiber construction, unlike traditional rings. The inner part is actually made from a Jack Daniel's whiskey barrel, making the perfect personalized touch for gifting the guy who loves a drink.

Uncommon Goods

New York Times Custom Football Book

This isn't just any coffee table book, but one that true sports buffs will actually want to devour – with clippings from his team's history, glory days, and highlights.

Still trying to figure out the perfect gifts for him? Subscribe to our email newsletter for more gift guides!

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This post has been updated, with former reporting by Kaitlyn Ingram and Lauren Black.

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6 Signs It’s Time to Invite Your S.O. Home for Thanksgiving

You and your new-ish flame have been enjoying all of the best parts of fall. You’ve indulged in pumpkin carving, sipped apple cider in a corn maze, wore the perfect DIY couples costumes, and cozied up for an early peek at some of your favorite holiday movies. Things really couldn’t be going better. With just a few weeks left before Thanksgiving, though, you’re about to be faced with a big decision: Is it time to invite said S.O. to join you and the fam for Turkey Day festivities?

How serious is serious enough? Will an invitation like this freak bae out? And when do you really know that a partner is ready to handle all the family chaos that the holidays can shake up? Deciding whether or not to bring your partner home for a major end-of-year holiday can feel like a big deal, and we want to help you dial down the intensity so you can focus on what’s really important: food and quality time with your loved ones. We’ve consulted with relationship experts about how you know the time is right to bring a date to family Thanksgiving — read on for their six signposts.

Andrea Piacquadio

1. You’re Having In-Depth Conversations About Family Traditions And Dynamics

You and your sweetie have been seeing each other for a few months, and with the holiday season just around the corner, you’re starting to open up to each other about the parts of the festivities that are most meaningful to you. You’re swapping stories about favorite recipes and customs, and you’re comfortable enough to share the nitty-gritty details about icky family dramas that can make the season awkward. If these conversations are coming up naturally and you want to share your holiday with your S.O. IRL, licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says it might be time to extend the invite.

Nicole Michalou

2. Your S.O. Has Already Met Some Of Your Family

Therapist Irene Schreiner recommends that you consider bringing your partner to Thanksgiving if they’ve already met some of your loved ones. “If they haven’t met anyone in your family yet,” on the other hand, “it can feel too overwhelming to have them meet everyone at once during the craziness of the holiday,” she says. Know your S.O.’s boundaries so you can push or protect them accordingly.

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3. Your Family Wants To Meet Your Significant Other

Mom’s been picking up hints from your phone conversations that something pretty amazing is going on between you and your new special someone, and she’s anxious to put a face to the name you keep mentioning. Your siblings are equally excited to interrogate — er, meet — your boo. It’s rare for your family to come together outside of the holiday season, so if you’re serious about your S.O. this might be the perfect time to invite them to make the rounds.

“If your family is constantly begging to meet [them], it is time to bring them home for Thanksgiving,” encourages Grapevine Gossip relationship expert Caitlyn Paltsios. “It shows your family is interested… and you can also see if your S.O. is excited to meet your family.”

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4. You’ve Both Traded "I Love You's"

Maybe you said “I love you” first, or maybe bae made the initial move. Either way, you’re both swapping that all-important word pretty comfortably now; you might want to consider swapping it over a heaping bowl of mashed potatoes. “‘I love you’ is such a powerful statement for any relationship,” notes counselor and Tech Talk Therapy owner Connie Omari. “Once this line has been crossed, you naturally become more open with one another. This closeness should be solidified by allowing your S.O. to interact with the other people that you love.”

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5. Your S.O.'s Family Has Already Invited You To Gatherings

If you’ve already had a chance to attend family dinners and maybe a birthday party or two with your S.O., it’s your turn to extend an invitation (assuming, of course, that you share their serious feelings and there aren’t other concerns as to why it might be unsafe or unhealthy to reciprocate the invitation). “If they are including you in small family events, they are looking to integrate you into their larger lives and are likely ready to have you do the same,” Schreiner explains. This doesn’t mean that you should make the invitation purely out of obligation — only that you should seriously consider it when they’ve already made the first move.

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6. You Can't Imagine Spending Thanksgiving Apart

“Thanksgiving has historically been known for being around people with whom we care very much about,” reminds Omari. “If your S.O. means a lot to you — maybe even the world — it’s likely you will feel very uncomfortable at the thought of being separated for Thanksgiving.” Tune in to your feelings and visualize experiencing this very special occasion as a couple. If this seems like the only way you would want to celebrate, then you have nothing to lose by asking! If, however, visualizing this makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable, psychotherapist and co-founder ofA Good First Date Rachel Perlstein suggests that it’s probably best to rain check until next year.

Do you get nervous about inviting a partner home for the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo!

This post has been updated.

dating relationship advice thanksgiving holidays